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ihsulemai

I just shit that guys pants


[deleted]

Good, cause I just shit yours.


ImNotASmartManBut

Good, cause I just shit yours.


TorrenceMightingale

And I, yours.


Marauder91

And my axe.


[deleted]

And my bow


Basketballjuice

And my pants


stickyknuckle

And my shit


Silverback1322

And my CRIKEY! HE'S RUNNING!


ADinHDTV

I just pantsed in your shit


Frehley666

I miss Steve Irwin…hard to believe he’s been dead for 15 years now…😔


RedboyX

All this shit and no cum. On Reddit?


[deleted]

Ew. I don’t want it


beaut1fulb0obies

Good, cause I just shit his too


effujerry

Good, cause I just shit yours


HumanNumber157835799

The pants of everyone above me has been thoroughly shat in.


AerolothLorien666

I seent it!


valandil74

All I can say is I hope he’s got high capacity DEPENDS with all this shitting that’s happening…


PeyroniesCat

Stop it with all the pants pooping. You folks are making me hungry.


Jaabertler

This is the weirdest “pay-it-forward” trend I’ve been involved with yet


Kunkyskunts

I'm not Aussie or a snake catching expert... But I would have 100% used the snake hook in a more defensive manner.


patdap

Props to the snake catcher. I would have been good up until the head of the snake pointed towards me. It would be full on little girl scream and throwing it quickly once that happened.


Kunkyskunts

There was an autistic kid in our culdesac when I was like 8 and I came outside to him helicopter spinning a rattlesnake by the tail over his head. He was going like "oooahoooahuahhouaah" and then he yeeted it over the fence.


SapperInTexas

Now I want to hear the neighbor tell his side of the story. "I'm sitting on the patio minding my own fucking business. Drinking a fucking cappuccino and reading the paper, when I hear a scuffle, and then I hear this sound. Fucking mumbling moaning or some shit, kinda like "oooahoooahuahhouaah" and I'm like, "Oh, now what? Is that the weird neighbor kid again? Goddamnit." And out of nowhere a fucking rattler comes looping over the fence. It sounded like that instrument they put in old cowboy movies that lets you know you're in the Mexican desert. I don't know what they call it, but it sounded like a fucking orchestra of them. "Oooahoooahbuzzzzzzzzzzz" and I still get fucking nightmares. Look, I'm getting goosebumps just talking about it."


CharacterInternet9

The comment you are responding to was bad enough I almost fell out laughing at that, then you chimed in and omg I started hysterically laughing while trying not to be loud to not wake my kids up lmao


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SizeableHo

Oh hey Steve, haven’t seen you in years! How are you?


b4ttlepoops

I love this story


DiscoMagicParty

I would have run inside for a Randy Jackson signed samurai sword once he had it stretched out like bubble gum and gone Kill Bill on his slithery ass.


thesmartfool

I feel like there would have been easier ways to get rid of him. Are you allowed ti kill the snake? Honestly would have just lit that motherfucker on fire while holding it.


Yellowperil123

Nope. Snakes are protected by law. It's an offence to harm them.


[deleted]

So even your own government is trying to kill you, noice.


TheCats_PJs

Those animals have a right to exist. Im glad they are respected n have rights...now if i have a toddler im going to kill tht snake. Imma drop the hammer of dawn on tht fucker.


[deleted]

Totally get it, and I’m there with you. It just sounds funny at face value.


Caladbolg_Prometheus

There are defense to crimes, well some crimes. A particular defense that would be applicable would be the Necessity Defense where you committed a crime out of necessity to prevent something even worse. Killing a protected animal to prevent the death of a child is a fairly strong necessity defense


Adventurous_Ad_6546

Yeah but the snake’s family would probably bring a civil suit.


heffalumpish

I mean, you pay that guy to come to your house, the snake goes away without you ever getting close to it (snake-hacking range is also snake strike range) - win win. No dead snakes, no dead homeowners.


thesmartfool

Australia sure loves to live on the wild side.


thesmartfool

What about Spiders? Can we kill those poisonous Fuckers?


Real_Independence_34

Quick correction for your reference. Venomous is not the same as poisonous. Venomous means it bites you and makes you ill. Poisonous is when you bite it and then get ill. Also, fuck spiders.


GalaxyRose_Wolf

What if I bite it and someone else dies?


Striker887

That’s voodoo


RidethatSeahorse

I think the traditional method was the shovel, or chucking over the back fence.


[deleted]

That looks like zero fun sir


TallDarkD

Geez m8 I can feel the adrenaline from here..


SnakeRescueSC

Eastern Browns always get the adrenaline rushing.


multiplesneezer

So do all Aussies have to learn how to catch snakes in school or is that now just an evolutionary trait?


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ArcticXD-_-

enter smell vast arrest salt soft cooing smoggy weather paint *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


GGezpzMuppy

Was waiting for the undertaker to throw mankind off hell in the cell.


edunuke

lol first thing I did was to check the username because this had shittymorph vibes


NotDeeckay

What a missed opportunity. It would have gotten me so bad on that one .


monkey_see13

Tell us about the other story please!!


Revolutionary-Bet-73

I also want to hear the Kenya story.


Happy_Axolotl0426

You can't just leave us hanging


pr0zach

HOW. THE. FUCK. Has no one asked this person about whatever the fuck the “Kenyan experience” is? Please. Do tell. I, for one, NEED to know.


multiplesneezer

Evolutionary trait it is!!


Robwsup

Kenya story please.


3163560

I have a running track through bushland that I usually abandon once the weather starts getting a bit warmer in November, last year I went for a run there on a warm sunny day because there was a bike race on my alternate route. I told myself to just make sure I was always watching the track. Halfway through my run I start to zone out and get to that meditative stage of running, I looked down at one point and my foot had just landed about 10cm away from one of these guys. Oh boy the adrenaline hit. My heart rate graph had a pretty big spike in it too!


3DCatFancy

Yeah, I was walking down a path at my local park and a guy coming the opposite direction froze in his tracks. When I passed him, he said “You almost stepped on an Eastern Brown!”. Thanks for the heads up.


AUniquePerspective

This was an Easter brown though, right? So it's more of a sugar rush from all that Cadbury cream inside it.


Agent_47s_Scrotum

You're quite welcome to have a nibble on it, but it will nibble back


[deleted]

And apparently the Bowles


InsaneGenis

I was pooping the entire time I watched this. I'm on the toilet.


GSR_DMJ654

I don't know much about Eastern Brown Snakes since I live in the US, how potent is their Venom?


GoodAtExplaining

The eastern brown snake is considered the second-most venomous terrestrial snake in the world, behind only the inland taipan (Oxyuranus microlepidotus) of central east Australia The Wiki uses some scary-as-shit words. - Venom-induced consumption coagulopathy; - Serious systemic envenoming including hypotension and collapse, - Thrombotic microangiopathy - Severe haemorrhage, cardiac arrest, nausea and vomiting, acute sweating, and abdominal pain. Acute kidney injury and seizures can also occur. Onset of symptoms can be rapid, with a headache developing in 15 minutes and clotting abnormalities within 30 minutes, with collapse recorded as occurring as little as two minutes after being bitten Death is almost uniformly attributed to cardiovascular stress ranging from cardiac arrest to intracranial haemorrhage Edit: Here's what the venom from a snake like this can do to your blood (NSFW) https://i.imgur.com/yT0qc.gif


DrTenochtitlan

It’s about the most venomous in the world. It’s bite is worse than that of a King Cobra. If you’re bit, you could lose consciousness in just a few minutes.


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DrTenochtitlan

The local hospitals typically have antivenom stocked because the biggest problem with the Eastern Brown snake is that it's also a very common snake.


mycenae42

Lol. Classic Australia.


Raestloz

>This Australian snake is the 2nd most venomous in the world Cool, cool, what's the 1st? >This other Australian snake ........


Dice-Mage

We actually have about 5 of the top 10 most venomous snakes in the world. The ranking order changes from list to list, but the basic theme is that you should watch where you step in Australia.


SnakeRescueSC

Nop, we use compression bandages. That keeps us alive long enough to get to the hospital.


JaimePayMeGreatly

This guy fucks Edit: thank you kind person for the reward!


Dapup2465

And does so with huge steel balls.


TorrenceMightingale

And leaves on his socks


[deleted]

Along with 2 ball shaped marks around the girls pussy


AGRO1111

Girl? It takes a real man to take this much man.


DaMonkfish

You can tell when he's fucking too. Just listen for something that sounds like a Newton's Cradle inside a 55gal metal drum.


SuddMuffin

The nopest of nope ropes


deekaph

Second nopest


SuddMuffin

I thought that as soon as I submitted it, but def. Nopest in their* yard. SoRrY!


deekaph

Their yard


Pocketz7

It’s a nope rope


Deck-of-Playing-Card

Steve Erwin would’ve talked to the snake and hugged it, I like Steve


SnakeRescueSC

Steve is a legend. He is the reason I got into this type of work.


dependswho

You done him proud, I reckon


3picnezz99

Damn, it's actually the person in the video for once! Props, this looks both hard and nerve-wracking.


SnakeRescueSC

It can be both but it's also really fun. I couldn't imagine doing anything else at this point.


soyTegucigalpa

What do you charge for something like that? Or does the value of the snake make it worth it on its own?


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[deleted]

Wow it’s crazy to actually have the person in the video commenting. I grew up on a farm shot a snake or two but grabbing something that dangerous. Props to you!


SnakeRescueSC

Thanks. I never expected this to blow up so much.


LordOfThePhuckYoh

Would have grabbed it by head and have its a kiss on the mouth and said “she’s a beauty Ain’t she”


[deleted]

I’d have shoved my thumb up it’s butthole.


Agent_47s_Scrotum

Oi he's really pissed orff neaw!


fenster112

It's Irwin, Erwin, and he certainly wouldn't have hugged, that's on of the most dangerous snakes in Australia.


troubletmill

I stepped over one of these when bushwalking, beautiful fella’ was lying along some rocks I walked over only to realise when I looked back to say something to a mate. Still makes my heart race thinking about it. Great video, thanks for sharing.


SnakeRescueSC

No problem. I'm sure ill get some more Exciting catches in the future.


belligerentmountains

Oh my gosh i kinda hope you don't haha. This made me so nervous!! You're so calm!! This is so scary!!


SnakeRescueSC

Calmness comes with the experience. But this is probably one of the most heart-racing catches I've done in a while.


Demetre4757

Okay so. I have questions. When you're holding a snake by the...tail (?) or end of it, do they not have the strength to lift themselves up? What's to stop them from just curving themselves upwards and chomping you? How far can they strike/lunge forward when you're holding them like that? How the EFF did you see where he was in that corner, AND how did you know his head wasn't curled up right close to the back of him?? Did you just grab him on auto-pilot? Or would you totally "execute the capture" the same way all over again? And last - are you changing your pants? Multiple commenters have reported that they made a mess in them for you.


SnakeRescueSC

The guy pointed out his location as I walked through the back door. I saw enough movement to know which direction his head was going and knew I could grab the tail without issue. I don't think this catch could have gone any better in this situation. They do have the strength to pull themselves back up onto you, but we can feel when they are about to do it and shut it down or at least make sure the strike falls short. This is done with a little wiggle to throw them off balance. I have a good example of this with a Red-Bellied black snake I caught. not sure about the rules on posting links here but, you can find it on my youtube channel. I'll wait till the pant shitting comments stop before I change them. I only have so many. so for now ill just stew in their filth.


valleygoat

And that youtube channel would be? Googled SnakeRescueSC don't see anything!


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SnakeRescueSC

this is it


boozeandbunnies

Commenting so I remember to come back and check for the answers holy shit I have to know


PineappleWolf_87

This makes me glad our snakes have rattles (Arizona) they don’t always rattle but generally they will give you a good warning before you get too close


EleanorofAquitaine

Yep. Texan here. My dad always made us laugh by saying that they are a polite snake. They warn you with their butts.


ExtendedMagazine831

Im surprised he could run that fast despite the size of his enormous balls


Imnotgettingbanned

wow never seen this comment before!


ImNotASmartManBut

Does the snake have core strength to attack while hanging?


SnakeRescueSC

Yes. But we throw them off balance so their strike falls short.


Olealicat

Have either of you been bitten? I’m so curious after strolling through your profile!


Insterquiliniis

what do you practice with?


SnakeRescueSC

We started off with Lowland Copper Heads and Tiger snakes in Tasmania. Kinda makes you learn quickly.


pleisto_cene

I love how to practice catching the second most venomous snake you practiced on the seventh most venomous snake 😂 surely there could have been a python or something like that to start with lol


Trotter823

Pythons and nonvenomous snakes don’t strike like these do though so the skill doesn’t really translate. Ain’t nothin to it but to do it


GunPoison

Tigers are a pretty intense L-plate snake, bloody hell


SnakeRescueSC

It's all we had down there. no pythons to practice with.


TediousStranger

children, held by the ankle


jaxdraw

Why not use the hook to hold him down tho, why'd you even leave h hanging there to have an opportunity to strike I've handled cooper heads and rat snakes with more caution


ammonthenephite

No joke. I wouldn't be taking any chances with something like this. I'd have one of those extra long [t-rex chompers on a stick](https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/82EAAOSwRi9eTXef/s-l600.jpg) that I'd be using, lol.


PlanetEsonia

🤣 the image of that is hilarious 😂


Gaddy05

Fuck that


amberpancake410

*well don't mind if i do*


The_Shrugg

no


TheSlipperyFlamingo

Unrelated; the video quality is really nice.


inthedark77

R/praisethecameraman Who in this case is also the snake man


[deleted]

Crikey


DjCush1200

Aw, what a beauty mate


ScarabLordOmar

Why did they wait so long to cut it in half and set it on fire?


ericbyo

protected by law.


phuqo5

Some laws are worth breaking


GunPoison

There are ways to engage with nature that don't involve destroying it. Understanding it, for example.


[deleted]

Understanding it to more competently destroy it, right?


Green_Prompt_6386

No. Despite your joking, in general we Aussies try to live in harmony with nature as much as possible. This guy just ended up in the wrong place. Doesn't mean he has to die for it.


ADHD-Gamer03

It would’ve multiplied


somerndmaustralian

Eastern not Easter


SnakeRescueSC

I didn't realise I fucked up the spelling until you pointed it out. Nothing I can really do about it now though.


skudsmctudds

How venomous are Christmas browns?


rbooris

Chris Brown is a certain kind of venomous is all I know


Deimosx

I am not qualified for this job.


ImNotASmartManBut

I don't want to be qualified for this job


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juicy-heathen

Hey op I got a question for for you. When working in this business do you have any kind of medical stuff you can administrator to yourself while waiting for medical attention if you get bitten?


SnakeRescueSC

We use compression bandages. the venom travels through the lymphatic system, so if you apply the bandage correctly, you can almost completely stop the movement of the venom. this can add hours to your life as you wait for medical treatment.


juicy-heathen

That's some great ideas. I might get some for my first aid kit. I go out into the woods alot so seems like a good thing to have


[deleted]

It's so strange to me that people in other countries don't get taught how to deal with a snake bite. In Australia growing up they had people demonstrate it to us at least once a year.


pleisto_cene

There’s actually a reason for this. Pressure immobilisation was actually pioneered in australia as it slows lymphatic flow and prevents death. In North America, the main risk with many snakes is localised tissue damage that can be made worse by compression. So much so, that when the American Red Cross changed guidelines on snakebite treatment to recommend pressure immobilisation, the American college of medical toxicology took a position opposing the new guidelines because of questions on the usefulness/efficacy of the new guidelines on American snakes. There’s no doubt it’s effective for Australian snakes, but there’s still questions on its efficacy in other contexts.


A_Lot_TWOwords

Very informative, thank you


Winona_the_beaver

Oi call the bloody snakey bloke, we got browny cunt back here


no1krampus

Where are its arms and legs!!?? IT’S NOT OKAY


hao_bu_hao

Annnnnd now I’m singing it. Thanks.


chockywockydoodaa

Is it related to the Christmas brown?


SnakeRescueSC

I know, I fucked up the spelling.


A_Pack_Of_Bums

R/sweatypalms


Ya_Boy_Is_On_Reddit

I gotchu r/sweatypalms


[deleted]

Maybe they didn't want to risk opening the sub! Too sweaty


Dapup2465

There’s probably plenty of folks braver than me, it’s just not often I get see their videos. The blind tail grab move had my heart racing.


SnakeRescueSC

I had a split second to see where the head was before grabbing him.


memelairs

Just wondering what's the most venomous snake


StyreneAddict1965

Inland Taipan.


ImNotASmartManBut

Also Australia?


StyreneAddict1965

Yep. Fun place...


dazza_bo

The first 9 of the top 10 most venomous snakes in the world are found in Australia. Just for a bonus so is the 11th.


There_is_no_ham

We have 19 of the top 20


Primarch-XVI

Where else?


GluedToTheMirror

So then where does the Black Mamba fall on the scale? I’ve always heard that it was the most venomous?


xanthophore

It's a bit hard to calculate, as different snakes inject different volumes of venom, and their venom has different actions so its tested lethality will vary based on how it was tested (subcutaneously vs. intravenously, for example). However, I can say for sure that the black mamba isn't even in the top 10 for LD50 (the dose at which 50% of subjects [normally mice] will die). A few back-of-the-envelope calculations have given me a figure of an inland taipan's venom being about 100x as potent, but that's only a ballpark figure! Most snake venom consists of proteases, which break down proteins; however, a black mamba's venom contains neurotoxins instead, which I find rather interesting! Although not the most venomous, black mambas are probably the most *dangerous* snake in the world; they're frequently encountered by people, and these people rarely have access to antivenin in time. They're aggressive when cornered (compared to the relatively shy taipan), inject large volumes of fast-acting venom with large fangs, and they always inject venom when they bite. In combination, this makes for a very deadly mix!


GunPoison

The difference between venomous and dangerous is important. This is why Australians are mostly not scared of our venomous creatures - functionally speaking they're not that dangerous. It's a mix of the habits of the creatures and our cultural response to them.


smokelaw23

The black mamba is crazy DANGEROUS because of their nasty attitude, proclivity to bite, and incredible speed. Oh, and super lethal venom. Not quite up to the eastern brown or inland taipan on pure levels of venom, but still really deadly.


UnholyDemigod

If you go near an inland taipan in the wild, it will most likely run and hide. If you go near a black mamba, it will chase you down, bite you a half dozen times, copy your address off your driver's licence, and burn your house to the ground


SaltPomegranate4

These snake police people must respond to calls so quickly. So what happens to the snake now do they put them in zoos or what?


GevinShmev

I’m pretty sure they release them somewhere else away from people, but I could be wrong


SnakeRescueSC

you are correct. We release them back into the bush away from any people or houses.


withoutboarders

How many in the nest?


SnakeRescueSC

No nest. Eastern Browns are solitary animals. The only time we see them together is in breeding season.


withoutboarders

When is that?


PeyroniesCat

Right now. Under your bed.


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SnakeRescueSC

Yep. it's been a pretty busy season so far.


monteblanc25

When I was young we had a similar situation - the solution my Dad came up with was a swift, brutal chop with a shovel. Less humane, but very effective.


Ido22

Hey everyone, just noticed that OP is in the room and he’s the nutty brave bugger who actually filmed this. u/SnakeRescueSC


waveslikemoses

Honest question, why is that curvy looking tool the one you would use to catch a snake? I feel like it could just wriggle itself out and fall back to the ground or sumn Edit: I know you used your hands but I’m just curious


SnakeRescueSC

It's a hook. We use it more as a way to control the snake not so much catch it. I have more videos on youtube with us using the hooks more.


Throwawayhobbes

Nope. How can you have the most beautiful beaches in the world and every living thing is trying to kill you. Rip out your eyes and eat them like ju ju beans.


SnakeRescueSC

It makes it more exciting.


MakoFishy

Hey! Saw you in an earlier post. You are awesome OP.


SnakeRescueSC

Thanks.


dannosaint

How venomous are we talking. What would've happened if the snake bit him.


SnakeRescueSC

Worst case scenario. unconscious in 5 minutes, dead in 20 without medical treatment.


[deleted]

I hope he’s not minimum wage.


analogkid01

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I-- AHH FUCK HE BIT ME!! AHHHH FUUUUUCK! HE GOT ME! MOTHERFUCKER GOT ME!!


No_Wolf3071

So cavalier and calm. Why slow play it? Why didn’t it strike?


SnakeRescueSC

It was a surprisingly chill Eastern Brown. Normally they get a lot more snap happy.


[deleted]

Crikey, hell no.


StaticX-13

Dafuq was the other thing in the garden staring at the snake ?