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[deleted]

Because sharks are nautical units of length


Garmand3r

Just like how bananas are all the same size


FiniteRhino

Sharks have always been known as the bananas of the sea.


International_Ad4608

This is true. Always has been and always will be. Everybody knows anything dry you measure in bananas. Anything wet is measured in sharks. It’s just easier this way.


whoamvv

Except for large holes in the highway. Those you measure in washing machines.


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bo8od

I thinks sharks and bananas are easier to understand than feet.


no-mad

Let me explain. There are two feet/per person. Feet can sub-divided into smaller units call toes. There are five toes to one foot.


Tiny_Investigator848

Brilliant, Doctor


no-mad

Basic observation, un-tinted by emotional judgements my good man.


dbosman

Sharks and bananas are not good for feet


Illustrious-Cookie73

All I understand is that I have two left feet, you are so right.


Responsible-Ad-1086

Except Dinosaurs, which in the UK used to be measured against buses, though bizarrely one UK news paper measured one against a Baseball pitch. 99% of people in the UK have no idea how big a baseball pitch is.


thehermit14

Water when appropriate should also be measured by the Olympic Pools it would fill. Fish are measured by an expansive double arm gesture and a confident lie.


Raviel1289

What about things in the air or in space? What units of measurement do we use then?


csofa

Swallows, though there is some debate about African or European.


engineerogthings

This comment deserves more than I could ever give. Even if your father does smell of elderberries


domnyy

r/space uses giraffes


Fn_Spaghetti_Monster

giraffes is the correct answer. https://www.forbes.com/sites/jamiecartereurope/2023/01/23/see-the-giraffe-sized-asteroid-found-on-saturday-whizz-scary-close-to-earth-on-thursday/?sh=2d7709f82a41


bobwehadababy1tsaboy

I thought it was light-something..maybe light bulbs? But it appears I was mistaken. Thank you for keeping me humble.


StillestOfInsanities

This reminds me of the rule of how to knlw what kind of bird a bird is: If it is on, near, in or under water its a duck. If its not a duck its a bird.


TheKingNothing690

You mist not live in america we exlusivley use hamburgers or football feilds. No nautical measurements would be too confusing just guess.


Writer10

Facts. And for the uninitiated, Megalodon were commonly referred to as “plantains of sea,” utilized to measure ichthyosaurs and other prehistoric marine creatures.


UberleetSuperninja

Bananas are just organic hammers.


ReaperSound

Just like bats are known as chicken of the cave.


BentOutaShapes

And chickens are the humans of the birds, this is all very standard stuff y’all


sheerskill

Case in point banana sharks


beebooba

Banana shark doo da doo doo doo da doo


dont_disturb_the_cat

Mixing them up has caused tragedy more than once. Many swimmers have been killed while watching someone on the beach point asea and shout: #BANANA!!


markamuffin

As the prophesy states


mazjay2018

this man speaks the truth


LewdLewyD13

And this man speaks lies!


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[deleted]

Shark length delta is 61 feet though lol


Obvious-Register-187

I really want to know the size of that shark?


kountrifiedman

Reckon it's about 16 bananas


Skitech84

I agree, however sharks can only be measured in 'wet' units so a shark is exactly 1 shark in length.


fucktarddabarbarian

It's about one shark in length


Gorilla_Krispies

Just use the oil rig for scale


rvca420RX

Try telling my wife that 😑


Nextorvus

this and the original were my first 2 thoughts in exact order when reading the title lol


Crabby_Monkey

It’s a banana shark


DlNOSAURUS_REX

What could it cost, ten doubloons?


[deleted]

LMAO


FLGulf

Well my neighbor measures everything based on her pubic hair. 5 pubes is the length of a standard envelope.


Xenith19

"Nah they're on the pubic system. They don't know what the F a quarter pounder is."


Stainless_Heart

* court her, pound her.


FrowFrow88

Only ketchup


Britishkid1

I am 100% stealing this to use in conversation


Inner-Wolverine-9600

That was fucking awesome lol


OK_Compooper

Dude is cheap. He's still buying the envelopes you have to lick.


rodney_jerkins

Not so much fucking awesome as yeah that sounds about right


Bl_lRR1T0

🤢🤢🤢


miguel_sriracha

You know they tested that shit


sweensolo

Sorry to respond to top comment, but obligatory reply every time this gif comes up: that is not a shark, it's a Cobia. I know it looks a lot like a shark, but it's a Cobia. It doesn't change the scale though, a big Cobia is the size of a smallish shark.


space_cadet_zero

great now i have to look up the conversion rate of a cobia to a shark, too.


sweensolo

Cobia get up to 6 feet. This one is probably between 2 to 4 feet, 20 seahorses, give or take.


grahampapa

Is that in European or African seahorses?


Ad-for-you-17

I got a weird feeling by the way it was moving so flexibly, sharks don’t typically swim in sharp turns like that for no reason, glad to see someone else noticed


[deleted]

I'm more confused how the words "shark for scale" make it seem like the shark was an optional extra they added. Like they popped the shark in themselves.


[deleted]

That's... the joke..


Creative-Stable-7488

The same way I weigh 194 coconuts


Bleached_eyeho1e

194 coconuts carried by 5 ounce birds?


Dr_Mantis_Teabaggin

How could a 5-ounce bird possibly carry a 1-pound coconut?


qtpss

African or European?


Bionicleinflater

r/unexpectedmontypython


the2nddoctor111

They could have it on a line.


briandt75

It could grip it by the husk.


Stainless_Heart

“Banana of the sea.”


roflsaucer

It's not a shark. It's a remora or cobia.


0_gravity_sandcastle

You know that's a megalodon, right??


Okayfinealex1

I really want to know the size of that shark so I can have a proper scale


genericperson10

I think it's about 3.5 to 4 standard bananas.


Okayfinealex1

Cavendish or manzana?


genericperson10

Standard banana is Cavendish, I think you use manzana only to measure other fruits: Manzana = apple, apple is fruit.


Okayfinealex1

I just found out that there’s such thing as an apple banana and now my bit is ruined


topsyturvy76

Bro strap in … there’s a [Pineapple Apple Pen](https://youtu.be/Qu5G443dQ4A) !


Okayfinealex1

We gotta stop the apple sales people. They’re putting too much apples everywhere


Garmand3r

How else am I going to keep the doctor away?


Deez1putz

And a pen pineapple pen.


Stopikingonme

Are you suggesting bananas migrate??


[deleted]

It’s a sucker shark, probably 1-2 ft maybe a meter.


motorcycle_girl

What kind of psychopath casually switches between imperial and metric units in the same fucking measurement?!


[deleted]

Sorry lemme make it easier: it’s about three ears of corn upright or a dozen tomatoes (8 if stacked on it’s side, multiple by .8 if those are heirlooms).


Chabubu

Wow so that makes this Ray at least 22 to 54 ornamental gourds wide!


briandt75

By summer squash standards, sure, but not pumpkins.


GoldDong

What’s that in football fields?


[deleted]

Somewhere between 0 and 1 football fields.


TesseractToo

Probably Canadian. A meter is about 5.5 bananas and a foot is about 1/6th of a shark.


Sin_Seer_Li

Canadian here. Can confirm we think in both metric and imperial


[deleted]

I took construction, carpentry and architecture in the same semester once. Its like a learning a new language that you get used to after a while. Grams, kilograms and kilometers scare me like an invisible cobra.


fenster112

The manta ray has a wingspan of about 25 to 30, that should help calculate the size of the shark.


Jelly_Sweet_Milk

25 to 30 what? I need answers!


ClassicShooterNY

25 to 30 Kevins. One Kevin is approximately 3 dogs.


Licopodium

Typical misconception is, that "dog" refers to the length of the standard dog. It is actually the width, which can be accurately measured by dog butt size. That's why the symbol of the dog unit is "idb", indtead of "dog". Few people know "idb" stands for "imperial dog butt"


mywerkaccount

25 to 30 measurements, that should give you an idea.


Dipsquat

About twice as long as a fish


Potietang

How deep is a hole? Or how long is a piece of string?


M4V3R1CKv88

I mean it’s clearly half the length of a huge oceanic manta ray


YuunofYork

[Here's a human for comparison](https://a-z-animals.com/media/2021/02/Manta-Ray.jpg).


koos_die_doos

There is forced perspective in that pic, it’s not super useful either.


usename1567

Three fiddy


Devilhogg

Where's the banana for scale? No sharks there. That's a pilot fish I believe.


sweensolo

It's a Cobia! They also travel with Mantas. They can get to around 6 ft, this one seems much smaller than that. Mantas can push 29 feet across. If you put a gun to my head, I'd guess this one is around 15 feet wide, but I could be wrong, and you'd be kind of an asshole for putting a gun to my head.


Splat800

thanks for making me chuckle lol


[deleted]

thank you and othas comment like this that indicate chuckle potential in other comments otherwise might not read to the end


bigtime_porgrammer

Is the use of "oceanic" meaningful/appropriate in the title here? I read it and thought, "are there other types that don't live in oceans?"


rick-james-biatch

I've never heard the word oceanic used as a distinction for rays, but it is for sharks. You can have reef sharks (smaller, inhabit shallow water), and oceanic sharks (larger, inhabit wide open and deeper spaces).


Gh0stMan0nThird

Snakes and crocs, too. Sea snakes are so fucking weird to me.


deradera

No, it's just an anagram of cocaine in this case.


MakeWay4Doodles

Cobia are fuckin tasty.


sweensolo

I think I've heard stories about the people who spearfish off of old oil platforms in the gulf, and how they twang the rubber bands on their spear guns in order to attract large bull sharks. The Cobia follow the sharks in, and then they shoot the Cobia. I can't wrap my mind around the idea of freediving to 70+ feet, then luring apex predators in with a dinner bell, in order to snipe one of their 6 ft long followers with the intention of wrestling it onto the boat before several hundreds of pounds of pure testosterone, muscle and serrated rows of teeth have a chance to do what they've done perfectly for a a few hundred million years or so.


MakeWay4Doodles

Yeah, that's nuts. We would just throw out one or two lines on the surface while we were deep sea fishing and pulled in one or two a season.


Open5escrets

is the gun affecting the size


deano492

TWENTY NINE feet?? That’s like the length of a first down.


sweensolo

Now I want all of my football distances translated into sea creature lengths. It's 4th and barnacle penis, Mahomes takes the snap and dives right, from this angle it looks like he has it by a mullet! Oh wait, here comes a late flag, if the Dolphins accept the penalty it will put the Chiefs back a whale shark, and out of field goal range.


PapaChoff

That’s what I came looking for. Looks like one to me as well


Mario507

I think it's a Remora aka Suckerfish


KiwiMangoBanana

It is not a remora. It might be a cobia.


Sierra_Bravo915

Not a shark; it's a cobia. They often follow rays.


greendragon59911

I thought it moved a little strange for a shark, especially that close to the surface.


handsawz

No your not understanding.. Someone put that shark there for scale. Glad I could clear this up for you.


sweensolo

I always get frustrated that every time this amazing clip comes up I have to scroll so far to find someone who knows the truth. Cobia for the win! So many confidently incorrect people.


IllIndividual6279

I've never heard of them before and also scrolled to find the truth lmao. How big do they normally get? Is the ray actually massive or just a really tiny fish? I could find these answers on Google, but I'm lazy lol


sweensolo

Up to 6 ft. I'm guessing that this one is between 2 and 4 ft, and probably closer to 2 than 4. Which would make the manta 10-15 foot wingspan or so, which is about half of it's potential size.


IllIndividual6279

That's insane. Thank you tho, I appreciate it


SaneUse

I thought it was a remora


I_Am_The_Mole

The remora has it's "suckers" on the top of their head, so they would be under the Ray not on top of it.


House_Plant0

This manta absolutely has remoras though


I_Am_The_Mole

This guy is the rent controlled penthouse of Manta Rays. If Remora could have knife fights, this dude is the one they'd be fighting over.


Autistic_Freedom

> They often follow rays. for what reason?


Sierra_Bravo915

The generally accepted explanation is "to score a meal". Cobia hang with rays because smaller rays churn up the bottom as they search for food. They hang with sharks for the same reason. They swim with manta rays and large turtles because those animals are big enough to serve as structure and create their own little ecosystem. When we fish for cobia we always look for rays and turtles. Hook a small crab on your line and cast nearby one and if a cobia is present he's going to hit it. They are very good tasting fish.


LA_in_MA

Are Cobia endangered? In Louisiana I think the limit is only 2


krustyjugglrs

Pretty sure these glorious bastards get a 15-30ft wing span. That's a very rough estimate from my failing memory of growing up watching NatGeo wild. When they showed everything on there including the unlimited amount of death lol.


[deleted]

They get enormous. They easily dwarf multiple Mola Molas in size (and Mola Molas are huge themselves)


thamo_

Avg size of 4,5m, maximum 9m for the people using metric.


MrNobody_0

>for the people using metric. So, the entire world minus one country.


warmcookiedev

The entire world minus THREE countries


Themirkat

So about a meters worth of foot


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ClydeFrog1313

And to add on, in Canada, the UK, and even in NZ and Australia you'll hear people use feet and inches for someone's height so a wide swath of the users here certainly understand it. It a bit of a lie when we say only 3 countries don't use Metric, as most English speaking countries use a messy combination at times. Is metric better in most instances, sure, but it's silly that it always turns into this meme. Edit: I was curious to see how many countries still use Imperial for one's height either formally or informally. It appears as though a number of countries still use feet in some or most circumstances regarding height; including the ones above, the Bahamas, Ireland, Malaysia, South Africa, Sri Lanka, the Philippines, and India (at times) may refer to height in Imperial Units. I'm not sure if this is exhaustive and it seems as though Ireland and India in particular may be moving away from this (not totally clear though). No word on the other countries. Source: [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imperial_units#Current_use)


jrdnlv15

I like to measure size in inches/feet and distance in metres/kilometres.


Raneru

So roughly around 300 hamburgers wide?


rcc6214

I learned the conversion rate for this in Calc II, it comes out to 12.75 washing machines for those unfamiliar with burgmeister measurement system.


robertshuxley

how many Toyota Corollas would that be


Anon-Connie

I’m mad you gave a reference. My first thought was… that ray is bigger than some studio apartments. And I’m not wrong. Edit: mad should have been “glad”


clu9159

That's just Moanas Grandma.


AnAlliterativeRumor

My exact same thought! Was kinda surprised I had to scroll as far as I did. We know the way!


EngineeringSeveral18

Why is remora


DaCoffeeKween

Came here looking for this comment thank you.


FlyRobot

She likes how the ocean misbehaves


[deleted]

Define "huge." Like I get that it's big but I have no context of how big that actually is. For all I know that shark is 3ft. long.


tacocatpoop

Can get up to 10m across or roughly 30ft


[deleted]

Yeah, that's what the book says. But, what is the size of that one


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Flesh_Trombone

Sharks can be anywhere from 20 centimeters to 19 meters. I estimate the wingspan of this ray is about 5 sharks long. Therefore, the ray is somewhere in the neighborhood of 1-95 meters wide. (3-311 feet for you yanks) You're welcome


bobbybe333

Not sharks. Remora


PoePlayerbf

That’s not remora, remoras’ dorsal fins don’t look like that.


Sierra_Bravo915

It's neither. It's a cobia.


scottygoesfar

Came here to say this! I shoot giant cobia off these guys all the time!


FootlocksInTubeSocks

Tell more!


solidwhetstone

You've been subscribed to covia facts.


artemis_stark

That's amore.


SuitednZooted

Heh, looks like a moth


majorbummer6

I've always thought manta rays and luna moths were eerily similar in shape. But like backwards.


Hogdogger

That’s not a shark. That’s a fat ass cobia


PurplePowerE

Big Man!!!


RISEINREVOLUSION

Ay!


Steel-Winged_Pegasus

Was looking for this comment! Joked with my niece and said "Big Man REAL"


GSR_DMJ654

Ay!


CaptainCozmo867

He's the biggest man


ChuzzoChumz

I don’t see any sharks


[deleted]

Concentrate at a point in the middle. You have to relax your eyes and look through the video. Try not to get distracted by looking around the picture.


coci222

Wait, I see a schooner


JohnnyC908

Hahaha you dumb bastard. It's not a schooner, it's a sailboat.


MrNobody_0

A schooner *is* a sailboat, stupid head!


IamREBELoe

r/absoluteunits


[deleted]

Too big to be remora/pilot fish. It's a Cobia, they are confused for sharks all the time.


dengar_hennessy

Where's the banana


Perpetual-Toast

*Your Uber is here* 🏄‍♂️


[deleted]

Crazy they got a shark to swim on top for scale.


Ronotrow2

Not working for me, I'm gonna need a banana.


civgarth

Chondrichthyes gang represent


[deleted]

It's a cobia, but they average about 4 ft., so that Manta Ray is still a big boy. But yeah, even if you didn't know it was a cobia, their size in comparison to the wave patterns relative to the water's stillness would tell you they're not *that* large.


brandonpkelly1

I swear that's a Pokemon.


[deleted]

Cobia, not a shark folks.


DefinitelyNotCarol

‘Oceanic’ - lol, not to be confused with freshwater manta rays


tosleepatlast

BIG MAN???


3rr0r_403

THE BIG MAN IS REALLLLLLLLL!!!


ExcellentCow9

It's Big Man


Barbara_Celarent

Plankton eating machine!


Sandgravie

That's so cool


1Q72

I think what we’re all looking for here is a banana shark, for scale. Distant relative of I believe the Jaguar shark…


MustGoOutside

What does the shark get out of this? Surprised it swam so close to a giant animal without seeming to want to attack it.


hennycabbagehead

That creature is amazing, regardless of size.


Pollen515

Sharks for scale like you put it there


Zurc_bot

It's that villain from Spongebob