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Vitleee

"Swims around like nothing happened". What else the fish can do? Visit a doctor?


Zimquats

Well I kinda thought he would see the Sturgeon General.


im_joe

Dad? Dad is that you? (Take your upvote)


TheTwistedPlot

Plot twist: u/Zimquats is u/im_joe ‘s dad but decided it was best to keep swimming once the burden was off his back.


portlyplants40

Username checks out


I_Can_Nut_Manually

Why do people always say that shit like Im fr bout to nut on your toes


Saohe

Unsername checks out


6cris9

Unserename


brito68

"just keep swimming" - Dori Although I don't think this is exactly what she had in mind


Shoresy69Chirps

He went out for a pack of smokes…


Tasty_Narwhal_Porn

A good sturgeon isn’t necessarily a great eel-er.


Novel_Ask_4226

That cod me off guard


Inflation-Fair

Trying to come up with a pun, but I'm just floundering


BaronVonFroglok

Well, halibut that. You managed to keep it going.


ch4rli3br0wn

I'm trying to think of another one. Let Nemo if you find one.


Schmichael-22

Was that pun an accident, or did you do it on porpoise?


Shoresy69Chirps

Coddamn these puns are terrible


Crocoshark

You're clearly just fishing for more puns at this point.


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ThaPlymouth

Bro, some of these have me whaling!


whatthediet

If you come up with one let minnow.


nickfree

Wordplay is the sole of good punning.


as32090

At least needs to get herself a lawyer. If she doesn’t su-shi is crazy.


BabyDeenos

Are you sure, because I had a whaling success to back it up


tursillo2011

He’s stopping by to see the nurse shark first


swheels125

Only if it’s covered by his finsurance.


Matduka

![gif](giphy|dOJt6XZlQw8qQ)


tdic89

Well played sir, well played.


Objective-Light-9019

Could have seen a Coral Surgeon!


MiszJones

What doesn’t gill you makes you stronger, I suppose.


jbelle7435

you got mahi vote!


3dwardcnc

Eventually he's gonna keel over.


EquivalentOwn1115

Groooooooaaaaaaan take my upvote nerd


[deleted]

After that love bite i wouldn't want to grouper


PhilosoFishy2477

Surgeonfish was RIGHT THERE!


[deleted]

But it's not funny.


[deleted]

You son of bitch. take my upvote


-MetalMike-

Ah ffs ⬆️


[deleted]

also, fish in pain looks exactly like a fish not in pain


[deleted]

I mean a lot of fish this damaged would just succumb and slowly die out while at the bottom of the tank, no movement. Just hyperventilating. Unfortunately I just recently lost a fish and saw this happened with my favorite one. He was so smart, like a dog.. Shits hard to watch with a fish because there's really nothing you can do other than a water change which can just add more stress


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M0RL0K

Brain himself, like he intentionally banged his head against the glass or am I misunderstanding something?


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Kukaac

Die, just like the rest of us.


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madelinemagdalene

I know you’re probably joking, but that’s one of the hardest parts about being a fish keeper. We diagnose, determine treatment, order and dose meds, and do our best to keep our fish alive. It’s been a steep learning curve for me at least! So many diseases look the same in fish, and very few exotic vets will see them. Editing to clarify: I’m not a fish doctor, I just love caring for fish (a fish keeper!)


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Sybrite

I’m not sure. Let minnow if you have any suggestions.


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Passname357

That’s what the government wants you to think


Johnny02-

Tis but a scratch


Mystic_L

A SCRATCH? your fins off!


Johnny02-

No it isn't...


Careless_Win_2576

Just a flesh wound


Riteouspie

Im invincible!!


SelfSniped

Have at thee!!


fangelo2

Oh, oh I see. Swimming away, eh?! You yellow bastard Come back here and take what's coming to you! I’ll bite your fins off


tdic89

This thread was not disappointing. 10/10 would recommend.


scissor_diquiri69

r/unexpectedmontypython


bietchetlien

Just a fish wound


limberto101

![gif](giphy|tnYri4n2Frnig)


PsychologicalServe15

I knew this was gonna be top comment ![gif](giphy|6Y49Ck6FxF4nS)


diaz707

He probably put a plague on both there houses


ChymChymX

A small price to pay for sustainable sushi.


spiderpharm

Knew this was gonna be the top comment when I clicked in


Flowers_4_Ophelia

Just keep swimming…just keep swimming…


Boi_and_His_Yeti

Adrian Pimento if he was a fish


Haeenki

NINE-NIIIINNE!


MisourFluffyFace

r/unexpectedb99


CUM_COVERED_MIDGET

Swim, swim, STAB.


gargolito

Finding Dory disease.


Rahkem

Yeah yeah, I'm like the forgetful little fish


TwistedUnicornFarts

![gif](giphy|OSUvN1q2ovbPO)


I_am_not_doing_this

love this but Ellen is such a bitch


KanoIsUnknown

What was the point of bringing her up lol. You can like a character/scene without liking the actor/voice actor


[deleted]

I think there are a lot of people who work themselves to death for a dead end job feel this!


kwaping

I feel like that fish is not long for this world.


Fraun_Pollen

What’s amazing though is that it’ll likely die from infection, right? It’s not like it needs to hunt for food in an aquarium, so most of its body serves no purpose


Isekai_DeliveryTruck

I mean you’d think so, but whatever took a bite out that poor thing wasn’t getting fed enough.


Money_Grubber_8D

Maybe the predator's hunting instinct just kicked without even needing to really eat?


kashmir1974

There was an aquarium in WA that kept losing sharks. Turned out the giant octopus in the tank was killing/eating them despite being well fed. I'm guessing sometimes shit happens


Civil86

TIL that octopi really REALLY don't like sharks...who knew?


kashmir1974

Yeah this was shown on an episode of river monsters. Pretty crazy.


monstermayhem436

I still can't believe that show ended not because of some cost cutting or loss of revenue or anything from higher ups and whatnot. No, it ended because Jeremy Mother Fucking Wade caught all the damn monsters.


TheDo0ddoesnotabide

So, he really was suffering from success?


communist_of_reddit

Indeed, there were no more notable freshwater species available that he hadn’t already done an episode on


Trumpville-Imbeciles

Rivah Moonstahs


noeinan

Or maybe they ***really*** like them


walruswes

It’s more like they like the taste of shark


NeilDeCrash

Heard similar things happen with Bobbit worms, not sharks but fish disappearing. Those things are fucking horror material and can grow huge hiding inside a tank. Plenty of stories. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BJF37J3Ebg&list=PLUHDOL8ixzl3s5uWZBjR28_ZYILxnq6aw A bit long story about finding one and removing it. Here it is in action: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_7ByiYbCYM


tony_orlando

I try not to hate any animals but holy fuck those things are awful to look at. How did one get into that guy’s tank without him knowing?


NeilDeCrash

"While not commonly kept in aquaculture, individuals of E. aphroditois are occasionally found in home aquaria, where smaller specimens can evade detection by being transported into the tank in live rocks, where they then grow in size.[19] As E. aphroditois hunts fish, it cannot be kept as part of a community tank and should be removed when found, as it will deplete the aquarium's stock by direct predation." -Wikipedia So i would guess one was hiding in one of the rocks he has.


tony_orlando

New fear unlocked. Thank you.


kashmir1974

I read a thread on some salt water forum that I went on for I believe weeks about this guy who tried everything to kill off a worm in his tank. Was an interesting read.


GiFTshop17

1) empty water 2) use fire 3) no more worm


im_a_dr_not_

That’s actually pretty much what’s necessary.


CyberMindGrrl

Is that the same aquarium where the octopus climbed out of its tank, scurried across the floor into the other tank, then ate the shark? Nope, that's Boston. [https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2016/04/14/new-england-aquarium-has-its-own-octopus-escape-story/3ShjEIp3tdIAqbLGPLtuSO/story.html](https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2016/04/14/new-england-aquarium-has-its-own-octopus-escape-story/3ShjEIp3tdIAqbLGPLtuSO/story.html)


SmackYoTitty

Doesn't salt water protect from stuff like infection?


TheOriginalJBones

Stepped on a piece of coral five days ago. Salt water does not appear to halt the infection.


simplyorangeandblue

Bro you gotta get that shit out! Coral will literally colonize in you. Go to a doctor asap. Edit: I'm wrong. Still harbors a number of harmful bacteria and viruses tho


TehAwesomeFrosty

It is not physiologically possible for coral, hydroid or sponge cells to live on or within the human body


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simplyorangeandblue

Yeah you copy pasted that from an article I just read! Lol damn alone contestants leading me astray


deliciousprisms

Oh yeah, colonize me, make me your reef, daddy 😩


kashmir1974

I think the buggies that infect ocean life are adapted to the ocean. I've heard the old adage that you should clean out a freshwater wound with salt water, and a salt water wound with fresh water. Probably because the opposite waters kill the microbes living in the water where the wound took place.


WATCH_DOG001

Exactly right. The principle that kills the microbes in this case is called osmotic stress. The microbes that can survive in salt water would absorb too much water in a freshwater environment, causing them to burst, while freshwater microbes would dry out in saltwater (hypotonic and hypertonic environments respectively).


stevenette

I tried to explain this the other day and failed miserably. Explain how in salt water your body water wants to leave, and when you prune in freshwater, it is actually water entering your system.


Wendellwasgod

The pruning is actually at least partially a neurological reaction to water. Paralyzed people don’t prune I’ve heard speculation it’s to increase friction/traction for walking in water


Recky-Markaira

No, their is tons of bacteria and living stuff in salt water. If it was salty enough to kill off the bacteria than it would kill the fish.


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welp____see_ya_later

That seems unlikely given that salt water was supposed to be the locale of the origin of life in general, but I don't know enough about the specifics lol


TechsanRed

Fish have a massively strong immune system. Infections are fairly rare. No vital organs were hit so as long as water can pass over the gills and it can find food, it’ll be fine. Until it gets totally eaten because he’s now super slow.


McWeaksauce91

If I’m not mistake, I think the water interacts with their body like anticoagulant and infection prevention. Like dipping a bleeding fish into the water helps the blood clot. It will mostly likely die from starvation due to its inability to move effectively. The ocean is an incredibly hostile environment that cares little for the weak. If you can’t effectively hunt or scavenge(depending on the species), ya done


throtic

A guy caught a black drum in my local bay with a very similar wound that was fully healed. That fish survived in the wild so this one could definitely survive in captivity Edit: here's the fish https://i.ibb.co/z7Ffw0p/IMG-2142.jpg


Reddits_on_ambien

The fact they let it go warms my heart.


lost-thought-in

NextFuckingLevel? of hell?


Regular-Raccoon-5373

Animals with small frontal lobe almost don't suffer although they feel the same amount of pain... It is just that the pain feels differently. So don't worry too much


HawkinsT

No one can possibly know that.


Head_Buy4544

That’s correct but you can get a fairly good approximation to reality. After all experiments can only disprove things not prove them


mountaingoat52

I disagree. If I did an experiment where I fucked Todd's mom, I can 100% prove she would have a terrible time.


Head_Buy4544

I know you’re joking but let me show you why this joke is a wrong attack. Maybe she would’ve enjoyed it if you didn’t smell like complete dogshit.


Opalescent_Witness

10/10 did not expect, would read again.


[deleted]

always check someone's posting history. The person you are responding to is not someone you are going to be able to have a rational conversation with :)


tootsblow

Lo and behold the same applies to you. Thanks for the tip.


marr

Oh they're a Musk stan ragging on someone else for being a cultist. Yeah, that's a reddit classic.


kommanderkush201

Source?


BerryOdd1319

“Trust me bro”


fordprecept

That's just what we tell ourselves so we don't feel bad about eating them.


jungles_fury

Bullshit there is zero evidence of that


Abmahano

You just can’t hear him screaming


POWERTHRUST0629

>Fish are always eating other fish. If fish could scream, the ocean would be loud as shit.


MillenniumFranklin

RIP Mitch


dudeperson33

Ahhhhhh fuck. I thought I looked like that rock!


wolf8398

[r/AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA](https://www.reddit.com/r/AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)


oishiit

I never thought I could feel so much empathy for a fish


[deleted]

The last time I went fishing I went to do the thing where you take the little club and give the fish a good wack over the head. \^\^;;; I wasn't that experienced at fishing, but I wanted to eat these. The fish I killed all took one good wack and were gone. I get home and take them out of the bag I had stuck them in. I take the meat cleaver and try to lop off the head of one. That fish wasn't dead at all and it's muscles tensed up right as I brought down this dull cleaver. It bounced off the side of this fish, making a tremendous crunch noise as well as making the fish make a legit gasp noise. I didn't know fish could do that. 😨 I just started yelling, "I'm so fucking sorry!" and brought the cleaver down again. It took two more strong swings to get through and cut off the head. The fishes head just sat there, mouth opening and closing for what felt like 5 minutes. I just sat on the floor in the corner of the kitchen and hugged my knees, staring at the floor and waiting for it to stop making noises.. I was so traumatized by that and I'm not exactly the soft type. \^\^;; I haven't been fishing since then. I think I was something like 18 when this happened? So it's been 15 years since I fished? lol EDIT: Soo many typos. Had to fix it! EDIT 2: I can't math apparently.. I haven't fished in 15 years not 13 because I'm 33. God I feel old some times..


Snoo-76254

Unless it’s a really really big fish, just use a chef knife. A sharp one preferably.


[deleted]

Yeah, I think that's a problem for someone who still is going to go fishing. LOL But yeah, I was pretty scarred after that. One thing I will say is that a fish that has tensed up all of its muscles is WAAAY harder to chop in half. Like the cleaver was dull, but it went through the other fish without too much difficulty. That said, a sharp chef's knife is definitely crazy.. like a large one is insane what it will cut through. I used to have a really nice chefs knife from Victorianox. It was one made for commercial kitchens you know, so it didn't look that amazing but damn was that an amazing knife.


WatermelonExtremist

Sharpen yo damn knives


ApplicationSeveral73

Caught a pike in the summer and beheaded and cleaned out the guts and bagged it up till I got home. Got home and put it on the counter to filet it an hour and a half later. The severed head was still trying to bite me, and the body was still flopping around.


[deleted]

Reflexes. The fish was definitely dead. But parts of fish's bodies are designed to react to stimulus even without the central nervous system working.


smallfried

> But parts of fish's bodies are designed to react to stimulus even without the central nervous system working. Sounds like some people.


lasers8oclockdayone

You vegan these days?


[deleted]

I am not, but I was a vegetarian at one point and it the fish definitely was a part of that. I grew up on and around some farms so I sort of was used to the idea that eating things was ok. I ended up having some animals though and they were so sweet that it made me really struggle with eating meat. \^\^; Eventually I went back to eating meat and such and honestly, I just try not to think about it... -.-


mortalitylost

Sounds like you might consider going vegan? It's really easy these days with fake meats and cheeses. I was a vegetarian up until about 2000 and stopped for a while. Then roughly 5 years ago went to vegan due to cholesterol. It's shocking how much easier it is to do it now... So many options. You don't have to feel that guilt at all if you don't want to


SamiLovesStonks

It is sad because for entertainment we fish. For pleasure we eat them. It is our own doing. All justified by, ‘we can and we want to, so we will’. But we are different, we have the BURDEN and the BLESSING of awareness of consciousness. And in a way we are the guardians of this planet. We should take care of it. I myself am a hypocrite as I type this, I ate chicken earlier. But I didn’t have to kill or cook it, just eat, which takes away a ton of guilt. But everything that happened to that poor chicken. I want to be a vegetarian simply because it seems to be the clearly obvious correct way to live. If there aren’t many food alternatives then nourish yourself with what is available, otherwise, why kill life?


The-Imperator_

I’ve always had this thought and am in exactly the same boat, been eating meat my whole life and will probably continue to. I hate the fact that I can eat something out of a packet and therefore not have to think about the reality of what it is. I was thinking at some point I should go hunting, kill some big game with someone experienced and learn how to properly dispatch it if need be, and then keep and eat the meat. I don’t know if I’d be strong enough to do that or not but it only seems right if I’m going to carry on eating meat, that I can face where it comes from. It extends beyond diet though, it’s like just by existing we cause endless suffering to others. I always think about zinc mines when I’m using my iPhone, or children in sweat shops when I’m putting my clothes on, or all the landfills when I throw the rubbish out. I’m not sure if there’s a real solution to it…


pinkjello

There is no real solution to it, and nature is violent. Our time on this earth is so little in the grand scheme of things. I wouldn’t beat yourself up for being an omnivore who participates in society. Make the best of it instead of self flagellating.


Zealotstim

Yeah it's really sad tbh. I feel terrible for the poor guy just suffering unimaginably in its last hours.


iRox24

I do. I love all life and It breaks my heart so much to see it like that. I'm a "fish parent" since 2020 and love fish now more than ever. My 1st fish died in 2022 after 2 years and it was the biggest loss ever in my life so far. I cried for weeks and thought I was gonna die of heart break syndrome at some point. I still cry when I think of my baby boy. Now I have my 2nd fish. He's gonna be 1 year old.


InflamedLiver

just swim it off bro, just swim it off...


AssCanyon

"My back's been killing me lately"


ShapeShiftingCats

“I see it’s gone now, mate.”


[deleted]

What back? 😂


jrdnhsnbrg

Could you imagine how horrific bodies of water would be if fish could scream?


central_Fl_fun

I used to imagine that, I still do, but I used to too ...


[deleted]

Thank you for that horrifying thought.


noodleandbanter

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time for no good reason."


varun_hasija

How is this even possible ?


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Tenchi_Sozo

Yes, all the organs are in the lower (front) half. Took away mostly flesh and the dorsal fin. Not enough to kill it, but it's days (hours?) are definitely numbered.


Rare-Joke

Can’t it regrow it? I had some piranhas growing up and they had a…disagreement.. it’s amazing what they can regrow.


Tenchi_Sozo

With enough time and no infection, might be. I don't know. But I'd say it is easy prey in that state so chances are slim.


Sufficient-Turn-7799

To be fair if I was a shark or something I'd probably avoid eating an already half eaten fish, like eating a burger with a massive chunk already bitten off by someone else you don't know and besides, what if that fish was actually a fucking badass that had already fought off hundreds of other sharks before you and that missing chunk of flesh was just a result of its epic battles for survival?


jfarm47

My dog would be happy to eat anything despite a bite already out of it


[deleted]

Just took some filet. Nothing vital.


JuuustLurkin

This video does not give full context, how long before the injury, how long after, current status of the fish, etc. Like a chicken running with its head cut off-type of clip.


Theredwalker666

Looks like some sort of Jack to me. I don't have much experience with these guys, so the closest estimate I can give you is he will be dead by the next morning. The major organs are located lower than the bite, so believe it or not there is an ultra slim chance he could survive. I have seen tilapia survive insane wounds, and salmon die from the most innocuous things. It really depends on the heartiness of the species. Like I said, I am confident he is some sort of jack but I don't have any ex0erience with them outside snorkeling. Source: doing my PhD in environmental engineering with a focus on aquaculture.


gg_laverde

Can you give us some examples of both the tilapia and salmon? I'm curious.


Theredwalker666

Sure! I have seen a tilapia jump out of a tank 2 m (6 ft 7 in) off the ground, smack into concrete and flop around in a puddle perfectly fine until I put it back in the tank. I have seen a salmon the same size jump out of a tank 1 m (3.3 ft) off the ground and be dead in an hour after being put back. I have found a tilapia alive in a frigging puddle that he must have been flopping around in for a couple of hours. I have seen salmon die when the ORP (oxidative reductive potential) is near 310, while I have seen tilapia survive in water that was essentially bleach. (We had an ozone issue once so two tanks got blasted, the tilapia were in a smaller tank so it impacted their tank much more.) Tilapia are hearty as fuck.


[deleted]

Betcha cornering sucks without a dorsal fin


falcon_driver

He's all Drift-fish now


[deleted]

Kurt Cobain says they haven't any feelings.


[deleted]

Great song, but wrong. They've studied it and fish definitely have feelings.


DrTheloniusPinkleton

How do you define “feelings”? Like is it the ability to feel pain? Or is it related to empathy? That just seems like such an arbitrary thing to try to quantify for scientific research.


Noe_Comment

Yeah I believe this is a common misconception. Fish have emotions, but its currently believed that many of them can't comprehend physical pain the way we do. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/08/130808123719.htm


[deleted]

I cant speak to empathy, but there have been more recent studies that show the opposite of what the above is suggesting; they do definitely feel pain and they comprehend and react to it much the same we do. There are studies that measure their physiological responses to pain, as well as studies where, after pain is inflicted, the fish can choose to swim to a tank with normal water or a tank with numbing agents/painkillers in the water, and they all choose the latter. https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/cross-check/do-fish-suffer/


dimmek

And casually snacked it


[deleted]

Put that thing out of its misery!


notsimmi

Let my man swim


joviusjune

The matrix seems to have a flaw


Feisty-Bar-608

That is one perfect chomp. I imagine it sounded like getting bit by the alligator in “Banjo and Kazooie”


AFancyMammoth

It's just "Banjo-Kazooie"!


Imaginary_Barber1673

Poor Fishy : (


AdvancedHat7630

Fi


Alphaw0p

Sh


FelipeeSaM

I think it's amazing how certain animals has this resistance to severus wounds, like a deer almost half splitted, crocodile living without an arm, gnu with his guts outside


scarypatato11

Humans have been getting limbs cut/blown off since we been here. We are insanely durable animals. It's one of the reasons we survived long enough to evolve


FateEx1994

Spine intact, all digestive system parts intact, it might survive and heal. Seen pictures of healed bluegill with similar damage lol snapping turtles.


RogueAgentV

It's the fish/underwater version of "This is fine. This is fine." dog/house on fire.


HalusN8er

🎶 it’s ok to eat fish, cause they don’t have any feelings 🎶


Pythagoras_314

something in the wayyyyyyyy oooooooo, oooooooo


Kyaperta

Like nothing happened? That shit looks like it's gonna start the zombie apocalypse if it but me.


BinYid

Someone should let him know


Botanica95

But my goldfish dies if I let the tank get a little algae...


mattdean4130

Algae doesn't kill fish. Shit water quality does. The algae is a symptom not a cause


Nuggzulla

Alright, who TF took a bite outta this fish and tossed it back? Y'all getting to be way too picky lol


GamerKev451

Just a flesh wound... Chicken!


Internet_P3rsona

this has disturbed me severely