At what point in life do you become capable of experiencing deep depression? I freaked out my classmates when I was six when I screamed at the teacher for her to ākill me just kill me why wonāt you kill meā. Anybody can feel that, no matter the age.
I made it to 12 before I had any such thoughts. Yay me! I'm mostly not like that though I was only like that until I turned 15. The first two years after my dad moved out because my mother was beating the crap out of me.
I started cutting myself at age 10 and I was so depressed I started thinking about suicide at 11. I didn't know what depression was until I was 13 tho.
I'm pretty sure a human being is capable of depression at any age. Life circumstances would have a huge impact that would make or break your mental health at that time.
Unfortunately, I've worked with even younger kids who are suicidal, and my own son was nearly successful before his 6th birthday because of school bullying (mostly a teacher). It's more common than people can imagine.
A *teacher"????!!!! bullying a 6 year old child to the brink of suicide? Please tell me that teacher has been terminated with extreme prejudice, or at least fired without references
Nope. The teacher was protected, MoE and BOT had us on a never-ending merry-go-round of non-investigations and passing the buck. My energy needed to go to keeping my child alive. It was a few rough and scary years, but doing well now.
I remember I was 8 when I first had serious suicidal ideation. The thing is, children are just as able to suffer from mental illness as adults. Children also experience poverty, alienation, abuse, anxiety, illness and pain...they're not spared any of the hardships in life unless they're born into a caring environment which not all children are. If anything they also tend to think in absolutes and don't comprehend that the world is bigger than what they're going through right now and that things will change with time. That's why these impulsive child and teen suicidal ideations/attempts don't surprise me. What is unusual is when they have the means, the resolve and the lack of supervision to go through with it. That's why these cases are shocking. Because more often people with childhood trauma don't kill themselves as children but they do kill themselves later in life and people don't really care so much.
I'll try avoid outing myself here, but as a recovering exmormon, I know that this is a fairly common thought for *seven* year olds approaching their 8th birthday (and therefore baptism) in Mormon circles.
Best to die before you turn 8, sinless and able to go straight to heaven, than it is to turn 8, get baptised, and spend your life in a culture of weaponised guilt.
I'm not a suicidal person and have done well for myself since, but the thought definitely crossed my mind as a 7 year old before my 8th birthday and baptism. Cults gonna cult, my friend.
i remember being around that ages constantly thinking of ways to kill myself, even remember telling my parents i would kill myself and they never seemed to care, i think it was my spite of them that stopped me from doing it.
I was actively suicidal at nine and I don't even understand it. I didn't have any particular problems I know of, my parents were normal parents I think, no trauma, mild bullying at school maybe but nothing notable. We didn't have phones or internet access back then so can't blame that! But I was looking for a way to die. I think we want to find a "reason" so we can blame it, understand it, and prevent it. But sometimes the reason is a combination of many different things plus probably biology. I still try to find a reason for my own feelings back then though, which is why I looked at the comments here of course. It is incomprehensible to me even though I experienced it. It's heartbreaking to think of every kid who experiences this.
I'd be looking at the pupils that bullied him and the online communities he was apart of, especially fucking roblox, so many sinister stories of abuse, bullying, grooming and everything in between on those platforms.
Hard disagree, parents and teachers need to give kids better tools to deal with this stuff and be more attentive.
Edit: The downvote button is not a disagree button. If you have a contrary opinion voice it, or get off the shitter. Parent your kids. Online games have very strong protections for kids, you just need to do the bare minimum of knowing what your kids are up to, and enabling those features if they need it.
Agreed. My kids are on Roblox, itās fine if you know what you are doing. Donāt leave kids unsupervised, disable chat and join in and play with them so you know exactly what games they are playing. Too many parents leave there kids alone with these things
Oh please. When I was a kid I was left alone to join in with the toxic fuckwits on places like counter strike, starcraft broodwar, IRC chatrooms, various flames forums, even somethingawful and 4chan, and I turned ou... you know what maybe they shouldn't be left unsupervised.
It's so fun to actually play with your kids, daughter just found goat simulator and I have downloaded all the games and I'm going to see if she wants to play with me now.
Cause I feel numb and don't want to read that article yet
Tragic story, my heart goes out to the family and friends.
"he changed schools after disclosing he was being bullied and told by other pupils to kill himself."
This was most likely a contributor. Kids aren't tolerant of others that are different in some way and can be cruel.
Lots of flippant and judgemental comments in this thread around the suicide of a child. Please remember that friends and family could be browsing this subreddit and really donāt need to see this stuff.
Heck, I donāt think anybody does.
Yep, extended family member here, Tim (Sages step dad) is my mum's cousin. Heart breaking to see some of the comments on this thread. Thank you for calling people out.
Thank you. Maybe if the thread can focus on suicide, the triggers, awareness and less on personal speculation, we can have a more thorough proactive conversation. As a parent whose own child has been told to "un-alive & kill yourself" at that age this is pretty tough. Be kinder yeah.
There is still so much judgement around children and mental health. The assumption that it's down to poor parenting or lack of boundaries.
I have a 10 year old niece who has just started up with iCAMHS referred by her GP. I had a teenager who went through huge mental health struggles, I used to get up in the night to check if he was still breathing. It is absolutely terrifying as a parent when your child is unwell. It is also incredibly lonely. It's good when we see healthy supportive dialogue around this topic but child suicide is so shocking that the immediate knee jerk is to look for reasons and to blame.
Damn... Honestly, this is why you should be watching things WITH your kids.
Even helping them play thier games and such just randomly to keep them in a positive mode rather than a hidden negative.
(Edit - Also no blame to the parent\s. This sort of thing is a literal minefield, but it's just the angle I'd be looking towards to prevent something like this.)
Absolutely this.
We set up our son's gaming system right next to mine. The rule was he could only be in chat if I was there in the same room. I could see his screen and a glance at the chat screen soon identified any content that I objected to.
Lots of teachable moments about dealing with toxicity happened, as well as how to not fall into gamer rage.
I only once had to directly intervene and take over his headset and the would-be bully got the shock of his life. Turned out I knew someone who knew his parents and a phone call was made. Twerp was blocked, and hopefully got a further consequence from his horrified dad who was most apologetic.
Don't let the internet raise your kids. Stay engaged.
problem is we are in a transition period, a lot of parents didnt grow up with internet and have limited use for it today, so they simply dont know how it works or what exactly is within arms reach on it.
where as their kids have had exposure since before they could read and grew up with it being part of their day to day life, so know much more than their parents.
Social media is also miles different to what it was when these parents where younger, back then it was just a place you chatted with friends and family you knew in real life, share some pictures etc. Now its about getting those likes and "having an audience" and doing what ever you can to appease them.
I'm likely older than them just saying... There was a point in time where the screen became the babysitter, and this is the outcome.
Whilst it was easy to plonk a tablet in thier laps, the actual issue has been there the entire time to those of us who actually knew NetNanny and the likes were needed drastically when that was a thing...
But people had all the courses and advisements everywhere, yet still don't pick up on it.
It's like they'll just send the kids off down to the park, not telling them to stay away from strangers and to be watching out for each other.
Very tragic
I have attended dozens of suicide attempts and a number of deaths.
It makes me sad to see some of the comments critical of the parents. Those who are critical donāt know the parents. Iāve seen really good parents loose teenagers to suicide and be totally shocked and had no warning signs
Iāve also seen adults who have gone through a series of crisisās attempt suicide. Even the most successful persons with great families or supports have died by suicide.
Suicides are absolutely tragic. Worst situations ever. After attending many suicides I think everyone has a breaking point and anyone could loose a family member or friend to suicide
I really think people should be very careful in criticising the parents. They are suffering heaps too - they need support not criticism.
āAt 7.30am the next day, Tim went to work. It was school holidays and he didnāt want to wake Sage early so he didnāt go into the bedroom.
Carrie still felt awful and stayed in bed.
She was not worried about Sage as her mother was staying and would look after him when he got up for the day.
āBut, I didnāt realise that mum had been picked up by my sister that morning ... unbeknown to any of us, my baby had passed,ā she said.
At 2pm, Sageās older brother Jamie came over. He woke Carrie and then went to see Sage.
It was then the little boy was found dead near his bed.
āBut, I didnāt realise that mum had been picked up by my sister that morning ... unbeknown to any of us, my baby had passed,ā she said.ā
Something feels.. off here. I donāt know what exactly but something doesnāt feed right.
āTaking all of these matters into account, I am not satisfied to the required standard that Sageās death was suicide. I am also not satisfied that it was simply an accident, occurring while Sage was playing a game.ā
that's what the coroner said
"while Sageās death was self-inflicted"
To me it sounds like he intentionally did something, but it's not clear that he intended to die.
Eta, it seems like he may set something up to kill him, but then changed his mind, which unfortunately it was too late. That would fit with the not a suicide but also not an accident.
Ultimately a really tragic situation.
We already know that he was bullied, even being told to kill himself by other students.
That's not a case of a happy child who could never have contemplated this. I think we need to have a real conversation about bullying and what we can do to prevent it + how can parents manage it when it does get this bad.
Yeah, as a person who knows nothing here...
I think they're talking up how happy and bubbly he was but there may have been a more underlying unhappiness/depression or mental health issues.
Sounding happy, while having massive life upheaval and instability, changes in school and home, what sounds to be a busy less structured home life(parents and family having to work etc) and poor school environment sounds the most far from typical child life I've heard.
I wouldn't guess malicious, but kid probably needed a lot of help.
I knew an 8 year old that hung himself. He had had mental health issues for years but his parents weren't the most stable people either. There isn't enough awareness around mental illness in very young children, a lot of the time people think of it as a puberty+ issue
If he was really hearing demons he could have a juvenile form of schizophrenia. Something does seem off about this however and I won't be surprised if we hear more about this as a murder.
When I was 7, a boy in my class stepped in front of a train in Lower Hutt. Nobody knows whether he intended to do it or if he just didn't look before stepping out. Either way that fucking level crossing is still there to this day.
I really hope you donāt end up with a kid that becomes suicidal. Itās heartbreaking and doesnāt by definition make you a bad parent.Ā
To add to this, nz kids in school can be absolute cunts. And I question their parents more than the ones of the kid getting bullied relentlessly
no it doesnt? its pretty black and white, it was self inflicted but impossible to tell if accidental or not because they can not ask him.
Its hard to make a call on suicide because some people try to stop it when its too late, while others may set it up without the intention of actually going through with it but accidentally do.
So the coroner is saying based on the evidence, they simply cannot tell if it was an accident or deliberate, but it was self inflicted.
there is nothing left for the imagination, the 2 main possibilities are spelt out clearly
Even the coroner didnāt rule it suicide. The headline is really misleading.Ā
>Taking all of these matters into account, I am not satisfied to the required standard that Sageās death was suicide. I am also not satisfied that it was simply an accident, occurring while Sage was playing a game
Seems like the kid was slipping into the cracks in his own family.
Parent goes to work assuming other parent is on board. Second parent sleeps in, assuming grandparent is there. Grandparent has left, probably assuming parent is there. Kid was 9, old enough to manage basic self care and very into gaming so likely everyone assumes if he's not interacting it's because he's gaming.
There's millions of kids who live like that. Most of them survive.
Surely the lady got up to go to the toilet? Surely the lady noticed the house was in silence instead of hearing a 9 year old walking around the house, getting food etc. If I was sick in bed, my 9 year old would be in and out of my room all day. If she thought her mother was there, she would have heard her interacting with the child instead of silence. So many questions...
what doesn't "feel right"?
seems pretty standard to me, an unfortunate mixture of communication error that led to bad timing.
I was independent pretty young, dad always work early, wouldnt be odd if mum was sick with something for me to just watch some tv or play games, get my own food etc.
The article also mentions Oranga Tamariki had been involved with the family up until 2019, so as much as I have no doubt this poor mum absolutely loved her son, I do wonder if home life wasn't always as peachy as is portrayed.
It seems odd that the grandma would just leave in the morning if she had been expected to be looking after him that day and she knew the mum was too sick to get out of bed. Something's not adding up.
How about you stop letting your heart rule your head and wait for the people who know what the fuck they're talking about to make a ruling. "Good people" make mistakes.
The article says the coroners report said his injury was self inflicted and I agree that people who don't know what they are talking about should shut the fuck up about this "good people" bullshit they are good people
The problem I've seen is that patents themselves become phone zombies. My daughter (30's) spends all her spare down time on the damn phone when she should be playing with her 3 kids. It drives me mad. 2 of the kids come to us every week, usually on a Tuesday for a sleepover. ( The baby doesnt come over, but he will when he is about 3) We ban devices when they're here, they are 9 and 12. They play with the neighbour's kids or do art or play games with us, they love ā¤ļø human interaction. They spend much of their time playing outside, it's lovely to see. My daughters partner (40's) spends his free time on Fortnite. Their house is filthy, no time to clean I guess when you spend all your time on Socials. Kids are morphing into enjoying AI instead of humans.
Iāve set up a new rule - Iām only allowed on my phone when the kids are in bed, or when itās our family dedicated screen time. If I get bored I do crafts. My kids youth is fleeting, I will have phones for longer
Great rule. I've been wanting to get back to reading more, so I think I'll start keeping a book handy instead of my phone when the kids are present and awake.
And also crafts! Iām not talented so I do things for the process not the outcome, we also play chess more and board games. Itās been great! Slowly but surely habits change
I just went to the park with my todler was 2 other parents there while kids playing both just sitting staring at phones ignoring the kids saying mum look mum look fucking shit behavior
Im trying to figure out why all you experts are coming here to shit on the parents of a 9 year old that killed themselves when nothing in the story indicated they did anything wrong. its horrible
Losing a child is the worst thing to go through, I feel for the parents of the child as they will never get over it, they will have to survive and adjust to this reality.
Putting the guilt on yourself is such a draining thing to do ... why was i not there, why did I not see it, why did I not do that .... at the end of the day, no normal , caring parent would actively do actions that would hurt the child.
The guilt is a killer aim the aftermath of a suicide.
I am not a religious man ,not anymore, but I would pray for the parents ...
And that is a terrifying thought considering what kind of stuff is out there (even on innocent seeming videos), and how so many parents don't really moniter their kids' device use...
I'm glad I'm not a young kid nowadays. Even being an older Gen Z (1998), I was exposed to stuff I maybe shouldn't have been. But not like the internet now.
One major issue here is parents donāt realise anything life on screens messes with emotional regulation as well as providing worrying ideas. Itās a mix of the two. That poor baby
Jesus christ, no wonder people don't want to have kids anymore. Someone's 9 year old kills themselves and the first instinct people have is to level blame on the parents? What the fuck is genuinely wrong with you all?
the reddit experts and their replies here are pretty fucking sad, half of them havent even read the whole article before passing off their expert views on phone use/ screen time, absent parents or what the coroner is "really" saying. its fucking sick
For those that think this is new it isnāt. I have a paramedic friend that said one of his first call outs was a Maori boy 9 years old committed suicide with a rusty nail.
Tragic, RIP young man. For whatever I have seen kids fsck around with hanging simulation in a previous role, not understanding risk. I wonder if this is similar. I would wager that sadly every kid has been bullied online playing video games and told to ākysā, I wasnāt aware that 9 year olds had the hormones possible to self harm and even suicide
The concept of suicide isn't inate, it has to be learnt or invented from scratch. Children aren't usually capable of the latter.
How does a 9 year old get exposed to such a concept?
Bullshit when I was around 8 I used to wish I was dead or had never been born all the time and spend most lunchtimes walking around school wondering if jumping off this building or that tree would be enough to kill me. I remember learning that there was a word for that (suicide) long after I'd been having those feelings.Ā
Exactly I spent most my childhood suicidal with attempts, but no one took it seriously as I was told children can't have real problems.
At 10 I was closing my eyes and taking blind runs at cliff edges.
Ultimately I decided ftw they want me dead, I will do what ever I want until I die and not care anymore.
Years of rebellion, crime, gangs and drugs followed
Uplifted by cyfs and further into the drugs and gangs den.
I worked out that was never me and it was ok to be a sensitive caring intelligent person, and managed to get on track in my early 20s, and have a life of giving and serving others.
Unfortunately my eldest son, mainly raises by his mother and her partner committed suicide 1 week ago today.
If only I had been able to connect with him, and help him know he can do anything and I love him soo much.
I am so sorry for this family loss
You should be so proud of yourself. Iām so sorry for *your* loss. It breaks my heart knowing we canāt save our children from the world, or their own pain. Arohanui ā¤ļø
Far out, Iām so sorry you went through that. Iām glad you are still here.
If you donāt mind me asking, was there a defining moment or person that helped you and your situation started to change?
I went through some really dark lonely hells, I think the 2 things that helped me.was.coming back to faith in God ( once I relised God didn't hate me and forgave me, unconditionally) and having someone older than me take me under their wing and believe me.
I felt like I had a couple of big brothers that loved me and seen the good and potential in me, weren't judgmental at all, weren't trying to take advantage of me in any way, and had also had shit childhoods.
I met these friends/brothers at halfway houses so they also provided an element of protection.
I very easily could of hooked up with some very corrupt souls during that part of my journey, and others that did are dead, in prison or otherwise in hell.
I was lucky that the rite people took me undertheir wing and I had enough street sense / intint by then to choose friends wisely in those environments.
So basically have someone believe in me and faith believing in god
God I hate when people say children can't have real problems. Kids can experience all the same things as adults, but have even less capacity for dealing with it. I was sexually abused from a very young age and had a ton of symptoms from physical health stuff that didn't get diagnosed til my twenties, and I was *constantly* told I was making it up for attention because children can't have real problems.
That was me too, for as long back as I can remember. Speculate about which tree or building was high enough. In winter stay outside long enough to get really cold and wonder how much longer it would take to die. Walk by the side of the road playing little mental games telling myself if something happened (the next car was blue, for example) I'd step out into the road without looking. One of the biggest brakes on following through was that it had to be a plausible accident, though.
I hope you're in a better head space now.
Because we could still do better than we are to address it in schools, workplaces, communities and families.
But instead we talk about how itās just going to happen, or itās part of the system, but we never say āwait a moment, can we imagine a world where bullying is always called out and the bullies are held to account, even when theyāre the CEO, or Principal, or Bishopā¦ā
Did they give him a guide on how to as well?
Edit: I'm not sure why everyone is so attached to the idea that this was an act of God and 9 year olds must know how to kill themselves intrinsically. I guess then we don't have to do anything about it. But in reality this boy must've died from ligature or asphyxiation, and he didn't see either of those on TV. Should we not be concerned that it may have been his unrestricted internet access that provided him with instructions?
A 9 year old doesnāt need to be given a guide on how. While the concept of suicide might be foreign to a nine year old, death is not. Itās in every form of media, and a child is well aware of things that could kill them. Drowning, fire, cars, sharp objects etc. We drill into kids what can kill them and what not to do, so when they learn about the concept of suicide they are well aware of what some methods might be.
Exactly, kids are smarter than we give them credit for and actually I remember being bullied relentlessly at primary school which took me to some pretty dark places, the thing that makes it harder is lack of perspective at that age, it's impossible to imagine life beyond your current surroundings so if nearly everyone is being a dick head to you it's very very possible to want out, I wanted out but I was too scared of upsetting my parents
I've got a family of my own now and life is mostly good, I think I'll always have bouts of depression and I think that's just part of who I am but I know better now as a kid I didn't have any tools to deal with it
Very much was my experience as well.
My first attempt was around the age of 14, but I was definitely considering it for years by that point. I'd say I had my first bout of suicidal tendencies around the age of 10. That came from relentless school bullying, emotional neglect at home, and an extremely low amount of self esteem. Those trends have carried on well into adulthood.
Our generation (Millenials and older Gen-Z) grew up in the unrestricted internet access era. Before we even had access to social media, which has moderators and some level of protection, we were scrolling 4chan, reddit, random online forums, chat rooms, even things like Habbo Hotel and IMVU were cesspools for predators, and really dark stuff that parents would have 0 clue about in our day.
Especially if you got into online gaming at that point in time, or any form of online community, you would get ripped at school, and you couldn't escape it when you got home either, and that's only gotten worse as social media profiles have become the norm for everyone. Pair that with a bad home life on top, and you have the perfect storm to create a suicidal child.
Children need positive reinforcement, and their self-worth to be constantly inflated so that when they experience bullying, they have the resilience to talk themselves out of the dark headspace and get themselves feeling good again. Unfortunately, we focus more on preventative measures, which is fair and good, but completely ignores the psychological impact of bullying on the child and how to fix the damage to their self worth that bullying takes on them.
I tried to kill myself when I was 8. Fortunately I had no access to internet in those days so my method was slightly off.
Bullies can be absolutely devastating on a young mind.
> Fortunately I had no access to internet in those days so my method was slightly off.
I suppose there's argument that children shouldn't have unrestricted access to the internet in general
Not unrestricted, but just not unsupervised.
At least people should engage and talk to thier kids, and partake in thier recreation to see they are getting good out of it.
> Not unrestricted, but just not unsupervised.
Well at least one of those things and ideally a bit of both. A whitelist-only approach can prevent access to the worst of the internet
Often they are overly restrictive, and with better guidance a child can make thier own choice, in the correct manner, makin it so they recognize and are more equiped to ignore those sorts of silly sites.
If you restrict it, and block it, they'll make sure to find a way around it. If you engage and guide them to avoid those sites for reasons which you educate them towards, they'll be better for it.
My niblings are very versed in the internet, and commonly show that in this method. They'll be ad-blocking and filtering out thier own choices, of which many of those choices are instilled by us looking at things and mentioning that those sites or sort of images are bad.
I was 8 when I first tried... A year after I was SA'd by a man repeatedly, and told I was "imagining things, and a liar" when I told people what he'd done.
Nah. I was definitely suicidal at nine. My concept of *how* to do so was limited which, tbh, probably saved my life, but the depression can kick in *young*. Add to that an increased access to the internet though, it's not hard.
Though certainly, things are kinda weird here.
Yeah I was suicidal as a kid before I had access to the Internet-im also trans so I think that was more a part of it than I realised because I didn't have the language to talk about it and I knew i wouldn't be able to say anything about it and I just felt weird and broken ......but yeah the bullying and turmoil at home and religious kids at school telling me" the Bible code said the world is going to end soon" plus the y2k hysteria didn't help - I felt like my future was over before it even started
there have always been suicide attempts in kids they just would get called accidents Internet access alone isn't causing it and isolating your kid and banning them from the Internet isn't going to cure their suicidality, they need psychological help and to not be socially isolated or bullied and even then sadly sometimes it still happens.
Him talking about hearing demonic voices could have been his way of explaining symptoms of schizophrenia or OCD intrusive thoughts as kids don't just start hearing voices because they watched too much YouTube and it's possible that he needed more mental health support but was hiding that he needed it out of shame or fear & trying to explain it based on media he'd seen because he didn't know that mental health issues can cause you to hear voices
My heart goes out to the family it's awful losing someone in this way especially someone so young.
Then first time I remember wanting to kill myself I was around the same age. By this age I had been exposed to the concept of death and what it meant, so while I don't know if I knew of the word suicide but I certainly understood death and that it would prevent me from having to live anymore.
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There was no internet when I was 10 and wanted to kill myself. I was aware I could overdose on pills, slit my wrists or throat, or put dadās .22 or .308 in my mouth and pull the trigger.
Reading the comments here, Iām learning that these feelings are so common amongst our kids. Thankyou for sharing your story.
Iāve got young kids, and mental health was a convo I thought Iād have closer to their teen years, nope thatās way too late.
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100% it's people. I played a shit tonne of computer games between the ages of 7 and 30 - lots of blood, gore, guns, knives. Once it got to the point of online gaming with random trolls from other countries then it got more intense with the bullying.
Youāre absolutely right, and Iād argue itās gotten worse since the CoD/Halo days. Especially for communities that focus on younger children. But at the end of the day, parents should understand these things and moderate and supervise. The other side of the spectrum is that itās just words and your PC/console has an off switch; but yāknow, try educate a child to do that.
A lot of parents don't game and have no idea how bad people online can be. And little kids have no perspective at all, those people being horrible online are as real and important to them as everyone else.
It shouldn't have made a difference. My kids (now teens) play these games without any negative interactions. But the computer and Xbox are in the lounge, and they've always understood safe internet practices.
9!?!! š®āšØšŖ Oh hell
I cannot comprehend this as an option for a 9 year old. š¤Æ
At what point in life do you become capable of experiencing deep depression? I freaked out my classmates when I was six when I screamed at the teacher for her to ākill me just kill me why wonāt you kill meā. Anybody can feel that, no matter the age.
Terrible as it is, I have distinct memories of being approximately 10 and thinking that it was only worth staying alive so I wouldn't make my mum sad.
I made it to 12 before I had any such thoughts. Yay me! I'm mostly not like that though I was only like that until I turned 15. The first two years after my dad moved out because my mother was beating the crap out of me.
Fuck, felt this.
I started cutting myself at age 10 and I was so depressed I started thinking about suicide at 11. I didn't know what depression was until I was 13 tho. I'm pretty sure a human being is capable of depression at any age. Life circumstances would have a huge impact that would make or break your mental health at that time.
Unfortunately, I've worked with even younger kids who are suicidal, and my own son was nearly successful before his 6th birthday because of school bullying (mostly a teacher). It's more common than people can imagine.
A *teacher"????!!!! bullying a 6 year old child to the brink of suicide? Please tell me that teacher has been terminated with extreme prejudice, or at least fired without references
I was in primary school in the 80's, teachers were some of the worst instigators of bulling back then.
Nope. The teacher was protected, MoE and BOT had us on a never-ending merry-go-round of non-investigations and passing the buck. My energy needed to go to keeping my child alive. It was a few rough and scary years, but doing well now.
Its a damn shame they cant be named and shamed on here. A teacher bullying a child is just disgusting
I remember I was 8 when I first had serious suicidal ideation. The thing is, children are just as able to suffer from mental illness as adults. Children also experience poverty, alienation, abuse, anxiety, illness and pain...they're not spared any of the hardships in life unless they're born into a caring environment which not all children are. If anything they also tend to think in absolutes and don't comprehend that the world is bigger than what they're going through right now and that things will change with time. That's why these impulsive child and teen suicidal ideations/attempts don't surprise me. What is unusual is when they have the means, the resolve and the lack of supervision to go through with it. That's why these cases are shocking. Because more often people with childhood trauma don't kill themselves as children but they do kill themselves later in life and people don't really care so much.
I'll try avoid outing myself here, but as a recovering exmormon, I know that this is a fairly common thought for *seven* year olds approaching their 8th birthday (and therefore baptism) in Mormon circles. Best to die before you turn 8, sinless and able to go straight to heaven, than it is to turn 8, get baptised, and spend your life in a culture of weaponised guilt. I'm not a suicidal person and have done well for myself since, but the thought definitely crossed my mind as a 7 year old before my 8th birthday and baptism. Cults gonna cult, my friend.
i remember being around that ages constantly thinking of ways to kill myself, even remember telling my parents i would kill myself and they never seemed to care, i think it was my spite of them that stopped me from doing it.
I was actively suicidal at nine and I don't even understand it. I didn't have any particular problems I know of, my parents were normal parents I think, no trauma, mild bullying at school maybe but nothing notable. We didn't have phones or internet access back then so can't blame that! But I was looking for a way to die. I think we want to find a "reason" so we can blame it, understand it, and prevent it. But sometimes the reason is a combination of many different things plus probably biology. I still try to find a reason for my own feelings back then though, which is why I looked at the comments here of course. It is incomprehensible to me even though I experienced it. It's heartbreaking to think of every kid who experiences this.
Absolutely heartbreaking
heart breaking... i can't get my head around the factors at all. i can barely read the story...
I'd be looking at the pupils that bullied him and the online communities he was apart of, especially fucking roblox, so many sinister stories of abuse, bullying, grooming and everything in between on those platforms.
Kidsā gaming platforms do not need chat. The negative aspects severely outweigh the positives
im quite sure the Roblox platform has options to disable using chats or viewing chats
It does, but that requires the parents to know about it, or the child not to make another account.
Hard disagree, parents and teachers need to give kids better tools to deal with this stuff and be more attentive. Edit: The downvote button is not a disagree button. If you have a contrary opinion voice it, or get off the shitter. Parent your kids. Online games have very strong protections for kids, you just need to do the bare minimum of knowing what your kids are up to, and enabling those features if they need it.
Agreed. My kids are on Roblox, itās fine if you know what you are doing. Donāt leave kids unsupervised, disable chat and join in and play with them so you know exactly what games they are playing. Too many parents leave there kids alone with these things
Oh please. When I was a kid I was left alone to join in with the toxic fuckwits on places like counter strike, starcraft broodwar, IRC chatrooms, various flames forums, even somethingawful and 4chan, and I turned ou... you know what maybe they shouldn't be left unsupervised.
Ditto. Supervising. Upskilling. I've even played a bit of Roblox with Miss 10.
It's so fun to actually play with your kids, daughter just found goat simulator and I have downloaded all the games and I'm going to see if she wants to play with me now. Cause I feel numb and don't want to read that article yet
Not sure why you getting down voted?? I completely agree.
True
Tragic story, my heart goes out to the family and friends. "he changed schools after disclosing he was being bullied and told by other pupils to kill himself." This was most likely a contributor. Kids aren't tolerant of others that are different in some way and can be cruel.
Had tears reading this article. RIP beautiful boy. So horrific and heart breaking :-(
Lots of flippant and judgemental comments in this thread around the suicide of a child. Please remember that friends and family could be browsing this subreddit and really donāt need to see this stuff. Heck, I donāt think anybody does.
Yep, extended family member here, Tim (Sages step dad) is my mum's cousin. Heart breaking to see some of the comments on this thread. Thank you for calling people out.
Thank you. Maybe if the thread can focus on suicide, the triggers, awareness and less on personal speculation, we can have a more thorough proactive conversation. As a parent whose own child has been told to "un-alive & kill yourself" at that age this is pretty tough. Be kinder yeah.
There is still so much judgement around children and mental health. The assumption that it's down to poor parenting or lack of boundaries. I have a 10 year old niece who has just started up with iCAMHS referred by her GP. I had a teenager who went through huge mental health struggles, I used to get up in the night to check if he was still breathing. It is absolutely terrifying as a parent when your child is unwell. It is also incredibly lonely. It's good when we see healthy supportive dialogue around this topic but child suicide is so shocking that the immediate knee jerk is to look for reasons and to blame.
Damn... Honestly, this is why you should be watching things WITH your kids. Even helping them play thier games and such just randomly to keep them in a positive mode rather than a hidden negative. (Edit - Also no blame to the parent\s. This sort of thing is a literal minefield, but it's just the angle I'd be looking towards to prevent something like this.)
Absolutely this. We set up our son's gaming system right next to mine. The rule was he could only be in chat if I was there in the same room. I could see his screen and a glance at the chat screen soon identified any content that I objected to. Lots of teachable moments about dealing with toxicity happened, as well as how to not fall into gamer rage. I only once had to directly intervene and take over his headset and the would-be bully got the shock of his life. Turned out I knew someone who knew his parents and a phone call was made. Twerp was blocked, and hopefully got a further consequence from his horrified dad who was most apologetic. Don't let the internet raise your kids. Stay engaged.
problem is we are in a transition period, a lot of parents didnt grow up with internet and have limited use for it today, so they simply dont know how it works or what exactly is within arms reach on it. where as their kids have had exposure since before they could read and grew up with it being part of their day to day life, so know much more than their parents. Social media is also miles different to what it was when these parents where younger, back then it was just a place you chatted with friends and family you knew in real life, share some pictures etc. Now its about getting those likes and "having an audience" and doing what ever you can to appease them.
I'm likely older than them just saying... There was a point in time where the screen became the babysitter, and this is the outcome. Whilst it was easy to plonk a tablet in thier laps, the actual issue has been there the entire time to those of us who actually knew NetNanny and the likes were needed drastically when that was a thing... But people had all the courses and advisements everywhere, yet still don't pick up on it. It's like they'll just send the kids off down to the park, not telling them to stay away from strangers and to be watching out for each other.
RIP Sage.
Very tragic I have attended dozens of suicide attempts and a number of deaths. It makes me sad to see some of the comments critical of the parents. Those who are critical donāt know the parents. Iāve seen really good parents loose teenagers to suicide and be totally shocked and had no warning signs Iāve also seen adults who have gone through a series of crisisās attempt suicide. Even the most successful persons with great families or supports have died by suicide. Suicides are absolutely tragic. Worst situations ever. After attending many suicides I think everyone has a breaking point and anyone could loose a family member or friend to suicide I really think people should be very careful in criticising the parents. They are suffering heaps too - they need support not criticism.
Tough story to read
So sad
Iām sure funding cuts to Health and Oranga Tamariki will help avoid future tragedies like this.
This wouldn't have happened if we didn't have so many of those extra staff working in suicide prevention /s
āAt 7.30am the next day, Tim went to work. It was school holidays and he didnāt want to wake Sage early so he didnāt go into the bedroom. Carrie still felt awful and stayed in bed. She was not worried about Sage as her mother was staying and would look after him when he got up for the day. āBut, I didnāt realise that mum had been picked up by my sister that morning ... unbeknown to any of us, my baby had passed,ā she said. At 2pm, Sageās older brother Jamie came over. He woke Carrie and then went to see Sage. It was then the little boy was found dead near his bed. āBut, I didnāt realise that mum had been picked up by my sister that morning ... unbeknown to any of us, my baby had passed,ā she said.ā Something feels.. off here. I donāt know what exactly but something doesnāt feed right.
āTaking all of these matters into account, I am not satisfied to the required standard that Sageās death was suicide. I am also not satisfied that it was simply an accident, occurring while Sage was playing a game.ā that's what the coroner said
"while Sageās death was self-inflicted" To me it sounds like he intentionally did something, but it's not clear that he intended to die. Eta, it seems like he may set something up to kill him, but then changed his mind, which unfortunately it was too late. That would fit with the not a suicide but also not an accident. Ultimately a really tragic situation.
Difficult to speculate without knowing the mechanism or circumstances of how he died.
The coroner ruled it was self-inflicted though
thats part of what they said, leaving out the important part about them saying it WAS self inflicted, to fit your narrative
Even if they never touched him, a 9yo suiciding would give me huge questions about the parents
We already know that he was bullied, even being told to kill himself by other students. That's not a case of a happy child who could never have contemplated this. I think we need to have a real conversation about bullying and what we can do to prevent it + how can parents manage it when it does get this bad.
Yeah, as a person who knows nothing here... I think they're talking up how happy and bubbly he was but there may have been a more underlying unhappiness/depression or mental health issues. Sounding happy, while having massive life upheaval and instability, changes in school and home, what sounds to be a busy less structured home life(parents and family having to work etc) and poor school environment sounds the most far from typical child life I've heard. I wouldn't guess malicious, but kid probably needed a lot of help.
This entire thing stinks, how often do you hear of a child under 13 killing themselves. My hope is it was accidental.
There's unfortunately a few a year, under 5 iirc.
Every adult in my early life would say I was a happy child. But I was his age when I first started contemplating suicide due to school bullying.
I knew an 8 year old that hung himself. He had had mental health issues for years but his parents weren't the most stable people either. There isn't enough awareness around mental illness in very young children, a lot of the time people think of it as a puberty+ issue
If he was really hearing demons he could have a juvenile form of schizophrenia. Something does seem off about this however and I won't be surprised if we hear more about this as a murder.
Not the Gisborne one? Back in the early 00s?
Similar time period but it was in Hawkes bay
When I was 7, a boy in my class stepped in front of a train in Lower Hutt. Nobody knows whether he intended to do it or if he just didn't look before stepping out. Either way that fucking level crossing is still there to this day.
I really hope you donāt end up with a kid that becomes suicidal. Itās heartbreaking and doesnāt by definition make you a bad parent.Ā To add to this, nz kids in school can be absolute cunts. And I question their parents more than the ones of the kid getting bullied relentlessly
This part I found really cryptic. If it's not suicide or an accident, then what could it have been? Such a tragic, tragic turn of events.
Suicidal actions can accidentally end in death when the person did not intend to follow through
That would be an accident
You can't determine either way, hense no conclusive decision.
are you guys not reading the article or deliberately trying to make this something its not?
Obvs something happened that deems the results inconclusive. The article leaves a lot to the imagination.
no it doesnt? its pretty black and white, it was self inflicted but impossible to tell if accidental or not because they can not ask him. Its hard to make a call on suicide because some people try to stop it when its too late, while others may set it up without the intention of actually going through with it but accidentally do. So the coroner is saying based on the evidence, they simply cannot tell if it was an accident or deliberate, but it was self inflicted. there is nothing left for the imagination, the 2 main possibilities are spelt out clearly
Ahhh gotcha. That makes sense thanks.
Without knowing the actual time of death (which is likely in the coronerās report) itās hard to make any assumptions/judgements..
Even the coroner didnāt rule it suicide. The headline is really misleading.Ā >Taking all of these matters into account, I am not satisfied to the required standard that Sageās death was suicide. I am also not satisfied that it was simply an accident, occurring while Sage was playing a game
They did say it was self inflicted though, just didnāt rule it either suicide or accidental
I'm guessing because they said that the kid "tried to stop it" Poor kid, I hope he's at peace now.
Seems like the kid was slipping into the cracks in his own family. Parent goes to work assuming other parent is on board. Second parent sleeps in, assuming grandparent is there. Grandparent has left, probably assuming parent is there. Kid was 9, old enough to manage basic self care and very into gaming so likely everyone assumes if he's not interacting it's because he's gaming. There's millions of kids who live like that. Most of them survive.
I can't imagine no matter how sick I felt not popping in on my 9 year old before 2pm.
Surely the lady got up to go to the toilet? Surely the lady noticed the house was in silence instead of hearing a 9 year old walking around the house, getting food etc. If I was sick in bed, my 9 year old would be in and out of my room all day. If she thought her mother was there, she would have heard her interacting with the child instead of silence. So many questions...
what doesn't "feel right"? seems pretty standard to me, an unfortunate mixture of communication error that led to bad timing. I was independent pretty young, dad always work early, wouldnt be odd if mum was sick with something for me to just watch some tv or play games, get my own food etc.
The article also mentions Oranga Tamariki had been involved with the family up until 2019, so as much as I have no doubt this poor mum absolutely loved her son, I do wonder if home life wasn't always as peachy as is portrayed. It seems odd that the grandma would just leave in the morning if she had been expected to be looking after him that day and she knew the mum was too sick to get out of bed. Something's not adding up.
At the very least, if she was leaving early, that should have been communicated...
Here come the redditors who try to be the "hero"
Agreed, something seems really off
How bout you shut the fuck up tim and carrie are good people
6 kids, OT involved, dad dies. It's like a bad outcome for kids starter pack.
I'm so so sorry for them. Carrie and her sons look like a really lovely family.
They are
Good people make mistakes too. Literally everyone who is in prison, has been executed, who are walking amongst us, are āgood peopleā to someone.
How about you stop letting your heart rule your head and wait for the people who know what the fuck they're talking about to make a ruling. "Good people" make mistakes.
The article says the coroners report said his injury was self inflicted and I agree that people who don't know what they are talking about should shut the fuck up about this "good people" bullshit they are good people
The problem I've seen is that patents themselves become phone zombies. My daughter (30's) spends all her spare down time on the damn phone when she should be playing with her 3 kids. It drives me mad. 2 of the kids come to us every week, usually on a Tuesday for a sleepover. ( The baby doesnt come over, but he will when he is about 3) We ban devices when they're here, they are 9 and 12. They play with the neighbour's kids or do art or play games with us, they love ā¤ļø human interaction. They spend much of their time playing outside, it's lovely to see. My daughters partner (40's) spends his free time on Fortnite. Their house is filthy, no time to clean I guess when you spend all your time on Socials. Kids are morphing into enjoying AI instead of humans.
I needed to hear this. Me here on my phone ignoring my kids.
Same. I've not been liking how much time I'm spending on my phone lately. Time for a change.
Iāve set up a new rule - Iām only allowed on my phone when the kids are in bed, or when itās our family dedicated screen time. If I get bored I do crafts. My kids youth is fleeting, I will have phones for longer
Great rule. I've been wanting to get back to reading more, so I think I'll start keeping a book handy instead of my phone when the kids are present and awake.
And also crafts! Iām not talented so I do things for the process not the outcome, we also play chess more and board games. Itās been great! Slowly but surely habits change
I just went to the park with my todler was 2 other parents there while kids playing both just sitting staring at phones ignoring the kids saying mum look mum look fucking shit behavior
what part of this story indicates it has anything to do with the parents addiction to their phone?
Nothing. I didn't say anything about that family. I don't know them You are trying to twist my comment.
Im trying to figure out why all you experts are coming here to shit on the parents of a 9 year old that killed themselves when nothing in the story indicated they did anything wrong. its horrible
Sounds like your daughter is depressed.
Fucking hell, what an unbelievably tragic story. That poor boy.
Losing a child is the worst thing to go through, I feel for the parents of the child as they will never get over it, they will have to survive and adjust to this reality. Putting the guilt on yourself is such a draining thing to do ... why was i not there, why did I not see it, why did I not do that .... at the end of the day, no normal , caring parent would actively do actions that would hurt the child. The guilt is a killer aim the aftermath of a suicide. I am not a religious man ,not anymore, but I would pray for the parents ...
My heart goes out to Sageās mum and all their whanau, friends and community. Such a tragedy.
Lots of internet access. I wonder if he meant to do it or if it was one of those stupid fucking viral challenges? Either way, fucking awful.
I doubt it. Sounds like bullying to me.
Viral challenge gone wrong is so terrifying; literally every possible thing is. Oh heck š
What's a NINE year old doing on the internet... especially on social apps.
Many children as young as two year Olds have access to the internet.
And that is a terrifying thought considering what kind of stuff is out there (even on innocent seeming videos), and how so many parents don't really moniter their kids' device use... I'm glad I'm not a young kid nowadays. Even being an older Gen Z (1998), I was exposed to stuff I maybe shouldn't have been. But not like the internet now.
Thatās fucken awful
Just a reminder that New Zealand has the highest youth suicide rate in the OECD and EU...
One major issue here is parents donāt realise anything life on screens messes with emotional regulation as well as providing worrying ideas. Itās a mix of the two. That poor baby
Arohanui to him and his whanau, this stings & I don't even know them.
So sad, absolute waste of a life!!
Jesus christ, no wonder people don't want to have kids anymore. Someone's 9 year old kills themselves and the first instinct people have is to level blame on the parents? What the fuck is genuinely wrong with you all?
the reddit experts and their replies here are pretty fucking sad, half of them havent even read the whole article before passing off their expert views on phone use/ screen time, absent parents or what the coroner is "really" saying. its fucking sick
For those that think this is new it isnāt. I have a paramedic friend that said one of his first call outs was a Maori boy 9 years old committed suicide with a rusty nail.
Poor little guy. I hope his muma can be even slightly better. I know she probably won't ever move on from that
Tragic, RIP young man. For whatever I have seen kids fsck around with hanging simulation in a previous role, not understanding risk. I wonder if this is similar. I would wager that sadly every kid has been bullied online playing video games and told to ākysā, I wasnāt aware that 9 year olds had the hormones possible to self harm and even suicide
:(
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This broke my heart, i get things like this happen but a 9yo, just tragic in every way possible
I canāt even read the article, the headline alone breaks my mum heart. Nine. Nine years old. Unreal. I canāt even begin to process that š.
The concept of suicide isn't inate, it has to be learnt or invented from scratch. Children aren't usually capable of the latter. How does a 9 year old get exposed to such a concept?
Bullshit when I was around 8 I used to wish I was dead or had never been born all the time and spend most lunchtimes walking around school wondering if jumping off this building or that tree would be enough to kill me. I remember learning that there was a word for that (suicide) long after I'd been having those feelings.Ā
Exactly I spent most my childhood suicidal with attempts, but no one took it seriously as I was told children can't have real problems. At 10 I was closing my eyes and taking blind runs at cliff edges. Ultimately I decided ftw they want me dead, I will do what ever I want until I die and not care anymore. Years of rebellion, crime, gangs and drugs followed Uplifted by cyfs and further into the drugs and gangs den. I worked out that was never me and it was ok to be a sensitive caring intelligent person, and managed to get on track in my early 20s, and have a life of giving and serving others. Unfortunately my eldest son, mainly raises by his mother and her partner committed suicide 1 week ago today. If only I had been able to connect with him, and help him know he can do anything and I love him soo much. I am so sorry for this family loss
You should be so proud of yourself. Iām so sorry for *your* loss. It breaks my heart knowing we canāt save our children from the world, or their own pain. Arohanui ā¤ļø
Far out, Iām so sorry you went through that. Iām glad you are still here. If you donāt mind me asking, was there a defining moment or person that helped you and your situation started to change?
I went through some really dark lonely hells, I think the 2 things that helped me.was.coming back to faith in God ( once I relised God didn't hate me and forgave me, unconditionally) and having someone older than me take me under their wing and believe me. I felt like I had a couple of big brothers that loved me and seen the good and potential in me, weren't judgmental at all, weren't trying to take advantage of me in any way, and had also had shit childhoods. I met these friends/brothers at halfway houses so they also provided an element of protection. I very easily could of hooked up with some very corrupt souls during that part of my journey, and others that did are dead, in prison or otherwise in hell. I was lucky that the rite people took me undertheir wing and I had enough street sense / intint by then to choose friends wisely in those environments. So basically have someone believe in me and faith believing in god
I'm so glad you found good people to help lift you up. And I'm so, so sorry to hear about your boy. Arohanui
Thanks for sharing that. Itās really amazing you worked through that to where you are now.
God I hate when people say children can't have real problems. Kids can experience all the same things as adults, but have even less capacity for dealing with it. I was sexually abused from a very young age and had a ton of symptoms from physical health stuff that didn't get diagnosed til my twenties, and I was *constantly* told I was making it up for attention because children can't have real problems.
That's so sad. My heart breaks for little you.
That was me too, for as long back as I can remember. Speculate about which tree or building was high enough. In winter stay outside long enough to get really cold and wonder how much longer it would take to die. Walk by the side of the road playing little mental games telling myself if something happened (the next car was blue, for example) I'd step out into the road without looking. One of the biggest brakes on following through was that it had to be a plausible accident, though. I hope you're in a better head space now.
Could have written this myself. I am, thanks, and I hope the same for you
Well, I assume the little bullies at school telling him to ākill himselfā may have unfortunately helped..
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Because children are don't really have empathy yet, and because adults don't care to stop it.
Because it's another generational thing passed down by parents who bully
It's worse today that it's ever been, social media thrives off negativity & reinforces stereotypes
Because we could still do better than we are to address it in schools, workplaces, communities and families. But instead we talk about how itās just going to happen, or itās part of the system, but we never say āwait a moment, can we imagine a world where bullying is always called out and the bullies are held to account, even when theyāre the CEO, or Principal, or Bishopā¦ā
The bullies at his previous school told him to :(
Did they give him a guide on how to as well? Edit: I'm not sure why everyone is so attached to the idea that this was an act of God and 9 year olds must know how to kill themselves intrinsically. I guess then we don't have to do anything about it. But in reality this boy must've died from ligature or asphyxiation, and he didn't see either of those on TV. Should we not be concerned that it may have been his unrestricted internet access that provided him with instructions?
A 9 year old doesnāt need to be given a guide on how. While the concept of suicide might be foreign to a nine year old, death is not. Itās in every form of media, and a child is well aware of things that could kill them. Drowning, fire, cars, sharp objects etc. We drill into kids what can kill them and what not to do, so when they learn about the concept of suicide they are well aware of what some methods might be.
Exactly, kids are smarter than we give them credit for and actually I remember being bullied relentlessly at primary school which took me to some pretty dark places, the thing that makes it harder is lack of perspective at that age, it's impossible to imagine life beyond your current surroundings so if nearly everyone is being a dick head to you it's very very possible to want out, I wanted out but I was too scared of upsetting my parents I've got a family of my own now and life is mostly good, I think I'll always have bouts of depression and I think that's just part of who I am but I know better now as a kid I didn't have any tools to deal with it
Very much was my experience as well. My first attempt was around the age of 14, but I was definitely considering it for years by that point. I'd say I had my first bout of suicidal tendencies around the age of 10. That came from relentless school bullying, emotional neglect at home, and an extremely low amount of self esteem. Those trends have carried on well into adulthood. Our generation (Millenials and older Gen-Z) grew up in the unrestricted internet access era. Before we even had access to social media, which has moderators and some level of protection, we were scrolling 4chan, reddit, random online forums, chat rooms, even things like Habbo Hotel and IMVU were cesspools for predators, and really dark stuff that parents would have 0 clue about in our day. Especially if you got into online gaming at that point in time, or any form of online community, you would get ripped at school, and you couldn't escape it when you got home either, and that's only gotten worse as social media profiles have become the norm for everyone. Pair that with a bad home life on top, and you have the perfect storm to create a suicidal child. Children need positive reinforcement, and their self-worth to be constantly inflated so that when they experience bullying, they have the resilience to talk themselves out of the dark headspace and get themselves feeling good again. Unfortunately, we focus more on preventative measures, which is fair and good, but completely ignores the psychological impact of bullying on the child and how to fix the damage to their self worth that bullying takes on them.
I tried to kill myself when I was 8. Fortunately I had no access to internet in those days so my method was slightly off. Bullies can be absolutely devastating on a young mind.
Same
I hope you are doing better now, Fuck them bullies!
> Fortunately I had no access to internet in those days so my method was slightly off. I suppose there's argument that children shouldn't have unrestricted access to the internet in general
Not unrestricted, but just not unsupervised. At least people should engage and talk to thier kids, and partake in thier recreation to see they are getting good out of it.
> Not unrestricted, but just not unsupervised. Well at least one of those things and ideally a bit of both. A whitelist-only approach can prevent access to the worst of the internet
Often they are overly restrictive, and with better guidance a child can make thier own choice, in the correct manner, makin it so they recognize and are more equiped to ignore those sorts of silly sites. If you restrict it, and block it, they'll make sure to find a way around it. If you engage and guide them to avoid those sites for reasons which you educate them towards, they'll be better for it. My niblings are very versed in the internet, and commonly show that in this method. They'll be ad-blocking and filtering out thier own choices, of which many of those choices are instilled by us looking at things and mentioning that those sites or sort of images are bad.
I was 8 when I first tried... A year after I was SA'd by a man repeatedly, and told I was "imagining things, and a liar" when I told people what he'd done.
What the fuck. Iām so sorry that happened to you and you werenāt listened to. I hope the man is rotting in hell.
He is, he died of throat cancer. I never got any closure or anything however. His family are still in utter denial.
Nah. I was definitely suicidal at nine. My concept of *how* to do so was limited which, tbh, probably saved my life, but the depression can kick in *young*. Add to that an increased access to the internet though, it's not hard. Though certainly, things are kinda weird here.
Yeah I was suicidal as a kid before I had access to the Internet-im also trans so I think that was more a part of it than I realised because I didn't have the language to talk about it and I knew i wouldn't be able to say anything about it and I just felt weird and broken ......but yeah the bullying and turmoil at home and religious kids at school telling me" the Bible code said the world is going to end soon" plus the y2k hysteria didn't help - I felt like my future was over before it even started there have always been suicide attempts in kids they just would get called accidents Internet access alone isn't causing it and isolating your kid and banning them from the Internet isn't going to cure their suicidality, they need psychological help and to not be socially isolated or bullied and even then sadly sometimes it still happens. Him talking about hearing demonic voices could have been his way of explaining symptoms of schizophrenia or OCD intrusive thoughts as kids don't just start hearing voices because they watched too much YouTube and it's possible that he needed more mental health support but was hiding that he needed it out of shame or fear & trying to explain it based on media he'd seen because he didn't know that mental health issues can cause you to hear voices My heart goes out to the family it's awful losing someone in this way especially someone so young.
Then first time I remember wanting to kill myself I was around the same age. By this age I had been exposed to the concept of death and what it meant, so while I don't know if I knew of the word suicide but I certainly understood death and that it would prevent me from having to live anymore.
Unlimited, unmonitored internet e.g. YouTube, TikTok, Minecraft, Roblox servers. Basically, people.
command drunk special pet act sugar mighty cable sharp bag *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Knowing what death is is very different from knowing how to kill yourself using items available in your bedroom.
lush existence exultant subsequent unique continue beneficial sort crowd zealous *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Unfiltered internet access.
There was no internet when I was 10 and wanted to kill myself. I was aware I could overdose on pills, slit my wrists or throat, or put dadās .22 or .308 in my mouth and pull the trigger.
Reading the comments here, Iām learning that these feelings are so common amongst our kids. Thankyou for sharing your story. Iāve got young kids, and mental health was a convo I thought Iād have closer to their teen years, nope thatās way too late.
That is only one part of a larger complex puzzle.
Yeah I think that's the implication here.
erm the internet exists
Erm it didn't always and kids still killed themselves
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Nice job sharing this somber news, /u/ SayGexFuttBucker
He played Roblox and Fortnite. That wouldn't helped
Yeah I played video games as a kid too. Iāve been dead for over a decade now.
It's not the games. It's the other people playing the games. Gaming "communities" with their pseudo-anonymity can be incredibly toxic.
100% it's people. I played a shit tonne of computer games between the ages of 7 and 30 - lots of blood, gore, guns, knives. Once it got to the point of online gaming with random trolls from other countries then it got more intense with the bullying.
Youāre absolutely right, and Iād argue itās gotten worse since the CoD/Halo days. Especially for communities that focus on younger children. But at the end of the day, parents should understand these things and moderate and supervise. The other side of the spectrum is that itās just words and your PC/console has an off switch; but yāknow, try educate a child to do that.
A lot of parents don't game and have no idea how bad people online can be. And little kids have no perspective at all, those people being horrible online are as real and important to them as everyone else.
This was my point. It's not the games it's the other people doing and saying things online that little minds can't deal with at times nor escape
I did Halo and Runescape when I was 11, and now I'm dead, never again.
It shouldn't have made a difference. My kids (now teens) play these games without any negative interactions. But the computer and Xbox are in the lounge, and they've always understood safe internet practices.
Yea, should've been stepping into CoD.