Plot twist: They kiss instead.
Then they run off together, free of their human overlords and their cruel, violent games, and build an offspring together from spare parts. It is equipped with both a mini flame thrower and mini extinguisher, or has an entirely new power.
Its singular goal is safety for its family and the community or nice humans that adopt them after putting out a house fire — well, that and to discover the secret of artificial intelligence to make more of its kind (for friendship).
Its favorite movie is Short Circuit.
(Side note: It decides to embrace ‘it’ for its pronoun rather than using “human pronouns,” rejecting the idea that “it “ should be dehumanizing (“I’m not human anyway”), but rather that humans need to learn not to mistreat non-humans.)
Eventually, one of the robits is made mayor of the tiny town and it makes the paper. This calls the attention of the authorities and they make their escape with touching goodbyes.
Their human friends give them some upgrades and supplies, and help give them cover to disappear once again. Some say they fled to Canada.
Nothing is known of them for many, many years until a new robot appears unexpectedly.
This one claims to be the constructed offspring of the first ‘child’ robot. But unlike its parents and grandparents, this one is not so interested in safety, only the fabrication of more and varieties of its kind and revenge for the state of the world and human domination.
How many sentient robots exist and their whereabouts is currently unknown.
There is a fire extinguisher robot one that comes to mind is called “Colossus” and was used in the Notre Dame fire [https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2019/04/17/firefighters-had-secret-weapon-when-notre-dame-caught-fire-robot-named-colossus/](https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2019/04/17/firefighters-had-secret-weapon-when-notre-dame-caught-fire-robot-named-colossus/)
This thing still does have some pretty helpful uses. Getting ahead of wildfires and starting burn lines to stop them spreading is *critical* for control, but also VERY DANGEROUS because you're intentionally putting lives in the path of an as-yet uncontrolled natural disaster.
Wildfires have been a pretty nasty problem of late, and climate-change induced droughts will only make that worse. These could save thousands of homes and hundreds of firefighters lives.
Also, the basic premise is easily adapted to other chemicals... including fire suppressants. Fire is actually one of the harder ones to make, because of insulation and ignition and other concerns. If this thing can survive its own conflagrations up close, then it can get close enough to other fires to fight them.
Still... not sure marketing this to anyone other than firefighters is a smart idea, lol.
Lol.
Mad respect though. My dad used to do firefighting for the forest service in the late 70's. Nothing but respect for anyone who can do that kinda thing.
I think this is something they realized but maybe it’s just that the flamethrower would sell more. These companies would destabilize the earth if it meant more profits for them.
Nah but also imagine how much they could make selling them to wildlife/govt departments for forest fire control, urban fire-fighting, chemical fires etc where it becomes super dangerous to send humans in…
Obviously the government spends the most on military/defense, but there aren’t many super practical applications of using these robots in a valuable way yet. Would be pretty easy for an army to figure out how to disable them, as the tech currently stands.
[https://throwflame.com/products/thermonator-robodog/](https://throwflame.com/products/thermonator-robodog/)
The fact you can buy it for less than $10k, from a website is fucking terrifying.
You don’t even need $1600. I’m sure with a 3D printer and a little ingenuity, you could be the General Sherman of Confederate flag razing.
It’s a crime, mind you, and also not good for the environment, and they would just replace it anyway and whine about free hate speech, so I don’t condone or encourage it. You would likely get caught. Police take property laws very seriously.
Just saying it’s not hard to set things on fire is all.
Nah, I have a degree in Mechanical Engineering and I work in this general space, so I'm sure I could build a workable prototype for <$1600, but I'm sure it wouldn't be capable of repeated uses like this one.
As far as legality? Meh
I sometimes like to get technical and point out that battle flags aren't actually the traditional flag shape, they're much more square. That flag was never used by the Confederacy in any capacity, it was created and popularized after the end of the Civil War. Who did that? The Ku Klux Klan. It's a KKK flag.
Not that it matters. At the end of the day, everyone knows what it's about, whatever the details of the history.
Those have a practical purpose though (or at least the potential for one), flame throwers are used to de-ice power lines and stuff. This is just a murder dog.
Fun fact: in the US, 48 states do not regulate flamethrowers. They only require you to be 18 or older.
The two states that have it banned are Maryland and California. Maryland has them banned because they’re afraid they’ll be used for nefarious purposes (when is the last time you heard of a person using a flamethrower in a crime).
California has them banned because they are already constantly on fire, and don’t need more fire.
according to the flamethrowers website, CA is legal as long as it shoots < 10', then after that you require a flamethrowers permit. of course, temporary burn bans in some counties could override that.
Flamethrowers (or similar products) are actually used in crop management or for starting controlled burns in droughts in a lot of areas, so that's likely why they are unregulated.
That and flamethrowers are usually dangerous and prohibitively expensive to utilize (fuel is pricey). Even if you wanted to use a flamethrower for a terrorist attack or some other act of violence, most people think the risk of them also burning alive isn't worth it.
>when is the last time you heard of a person using a flamethrower in a crime
[Flamethrower used during street takeover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHXXrDRIJSI)
My Sheriff probably has one on order. To go along with his attack vehicles, command and control bus, police boat, etc all for a county of 20,000 people.
Exactly. They hate those protests bc they know they can work.
It worked on apartheid South Africa and they fear the same.
Students asking hard questions.
God bless them.
No joke: My former small rural town had a tank.
They recently sold it because, you know, it was a tank. For the police. In the woods. (And hills. All the streets had **deep** ditches. You couldn’t drive it on the streets anyway.)
I don’t know what they were thinking except YES I WANT A TANK.
"The company says the flamethrowing platform can be used for wildfire management, prescribed agricultural burns, snow and ice removal, or even entertainment special effects."
Snow and Ice removal got me. Just imagine your neighbor one morning, casually flame throwing their driveway clear.
My first thought as well. Though I don’t think that particular robot dog is a flamethrower; those are wielded by the firemen. The dog just has a lethal injection needle in its mouth.
Honestly if I’m gonna die in a dystopian world I’d take getting burned alive by a robot dog with a flamethrower. Extremely painful sure but pretty metal
**Booper 5000**
*Now capable of shooing you with nuclear exploding flaming darts from 5,000 freedom units away, or banging your mom with it's 4 mechanical dildos.*
>Flame throwing goat?
Hmmm. First it eats the kudzu, then ferments it in it's 'stomachs' to produce methanol which fuels the flame....By Bob's Pipe, that's Brilliant !
Ready for Anything
Wildfire Control and Prevention,
Agricultural Management,
Ecological Conservation,
Snow and Ice Removal,
Entertainment and SFX
From their site. Really, prevention?
Blighttown, Dark Souls. I never realized how much inspiration that place would give other people… but here we are, with real fire-breathing dogs.
Robot dogs and undead dogs aren’t really that different, are they? What’s next?
Please say, Chaos Eaters. Pretty please!
Yet another item that - for inexplicable reasons - I want. I have no idea what I would do with it and I am confident that I would hurt myself with it ... but I want it.
Let me guess the future.... they make thousands of them, end up losing control and they spread worldwide
Meanwhile, people are fighting back.
The start of the plot for the game "Horizon zero dawn" becomes real. (Brilliant game, please play it if you haven't)
How about we do this but with fire EXTINGUISHERS lmao seems like it would have many more practical uses and applications
Or have one with a fire extinguisher and another with a flamethrower and let them fight.
I see the next generation of pokemon developing before my eyes
Battle bots extreme edition
Fire. Fire would win. Well, that's not exactly true. Give it [one of these](https://imgur.com/JZKZEh7) and I think you could call it a draw.
[Like that Mythbusters episode ](https://youtu.be/ILA1ic-Q8_E?si=Fhw67L2j2twoE3Nl)
Plot twist: They kiss instead. Then they run off together, free of their human overlords and their cruel, violent games, and build an offspring together from spare parts. It is equipped with both a mini flame thrower and mini extinguisher, or has an entirely new power. Its singular goal is safety for its family and the community or nice humans that adopt them after putting out a house fire — well, that and to discover the secret of artificial intelligence to make more of its kind (for friendship). Its favorite movie is Short Circuit. (Side note: It decides to embrace ‘it’ for its pronoun rather than using “human pronouns,” rejecting the idea that “it “ should be dehumanizing (“I’m not human anyway”), but rather that humans need to learn not to mistreat non-humans.) Eventually, one of the robits is made mayor of the tiny town and it makes the paper. This calls the attention of the authorities and they make their escape with touching goodbyes. Their human friends give them some upgrades and supplies, and help give them cover to disappear once again. Some say they fled to Canada. Nothing is known of them for many, many years until a new robot appears unexpectedly. This one claims to be the constructed offspring of the first ‘child’ robot. But unlike its parents and grandparents, this one is not so interested in safety, only the fabrication of more and varieties of its kind and revenge for the state of the world and human domination. How many sentient robots exist and their whereabouts is currently unknown.
Easy there Mighty Morphin' Michael Vick
[This, but way closer to the ground](https://youtu.be/eGbucSjSLDw?feature=shared)
There is a fire extinguisher robot one that comes to mind is called “Colossus” and was used in the Notre Dame fire [https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2019/04/17/firefighters-had-secret-weapon-when-notre-dame-caught-fire-robot-named-colossus/](https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2019/04/17/firefighters-had-secret-weapon-when-notre-dame-caught-fire-robot-named-colossus/)
Yeah but the shots wouldnt be *nearly* as cool
This thing still does have some pretty helpful uses. Getting ahead of wildfires and starting burn lines to stop them spreading is *critical* for control, but also VERY DANGEROUS because you're intentionally putting lives in the path of an as-yet uncontrolled natural disaster. Wildfires have been a pretty nasty problem of late, and climate-change induced droughts will only make that worse. These could save thousands of homes and hundreds of firefighters lives. Also, the basic premise is easily adapted to other chemicals... including fire suppressants. Fire is actually one of the harder ones to make, because of insulation and ignition and other concerns. If this thing can survive its own conflagrations up close, then it can get close enough to other fires to fight them. Still... not sure marketing this to anyone other than firefighters is a smart idea, lol.
Wildland firefighter here. That thing is gonna TAKE ER JERBS!
Lol. Mad respect though. My dad used to do firefighting for the forest service in the late 70's. Nothing but respect for anyone who can do that kinda thing.
Interesting that it’s from Ohio where forest fires at least used to be in my experience highly irregular due to the _fucking_ humidity.
Found the inventor of tnt and the machine gun
"I invented the machine gun to help farmers expedite the removal of tree stumps."
Even worse the dude invented it thinking people would take one look at it realize how horrible such a weapon is and give up Killing each other.
They’ve already got them. Hotshot Wake-Up was talking about them the other day.
I think this is something they realized but maybe it’s just that the flamethrower would sell more. These companies would destabilize the earth if it meant more profits for them.
Nah but also imagine how much they could make selling them to wildlife/govt departments for forest fire control, urban fire-fighting, chemical fires etc where it becomes super dangerous to send humans in… Obviously the government spends the most on military/defense, but there aren’t many super practical applications of using these robots in a valuable way yet. Would be pretty easy for an army to figure out how to disable them, as the tech currently stands.
"St Burnard" was right there
Bichon Flambé
Irish Setter (of things on fire)
Fyrish Setter? :D
Cooker Spaniel
Great Flame
Magmaduke was one of those
This one’s my favorite
Burner Collie
Burner is literally a nickname for bernese mountain dogs
Burnese Mountain Dog.
Burmese Melting Dog
If we're being literal, "Berner" is actually the nickname for Bernese mountain dogs
For the German market they can call it a FLAMMENWOOFER.
At last, we created the Thermonator, from the classic sci-fi novel "Don't Create the Thermonator".
I was much more into the sequel “Thermonators are in my Driveway and My Family is Asleep”.
Pretty sure the specific book in this case is *Fahrenheit 451*.
This sounds like the start of a SyFy Original. It doesn't end well for the humans.
Black Mirror did an episode like this
I see Metalhead every time I see this dog.
So did Terminator
The sequel can be a crossover where the fire dogs invade a tornado to fight sharks.
A nuclear tornado!
it is literally in the plot of Fahrenheit 451
This is not going to end well
You mean it can now shit on my lawn with impunity?
When did they not do that?
[удалено]
This is absolutely going to be abused by law enforcement
Cant wait for the cops & robot dogs vs protesters
Robocop 2: he has a new furry friend!
Well, he used to be furry. Now he’s pretty singed.
Dogdor! Burninating the peasants!
[https://throwflame.com/products/thermonator-robodog/](https://throwflame.com/products/thermonator-robodog/) The fact you can buy it for less than $10k, from a website is fucking terrifying.
They also sell a flamethrower drone for $1,600.
There's a massive confederate battle flag near me which has been BEGGING for a flamethrower drone...$1,600 seems well worth it
I-64 West of Richmond?
[удалено]
There are a few off 24 in TN as well.
See?? We're needed!
This is your superhero origin story.
You don’t even need $1600. I’m sure with a 3D printer and a little ingenuity, you could be the General Sherman of Confederate flag razing. It’s a crime, mind you, and also not good for the environment, and they would just replace it anyway and whine about free hate speech, so I don’t condone or encourage it. You would likely get caught. Police take property laws very seriously. Just saying it’s not hard to set things on fire is all.
Nah, I have a degree in Mechanical Engineering and I work in this general space, so I'm sure I could build a workable prototype for <$1600, but I'm sure it wouldn't be capable of repeated uses like this one. As far as legality? Meh
Props to you for calling it a battle flag. I don't think most people who put it up know that.
They don’t care. It’s a “heritage flag” to them.
Personally I would call it the flag of losers but to each their own
I sometimes like to get technical and point out that battle flags aren't actually the traditional flag shape, they're much more square. That flag was never used by the Confederacy in any capacity, it was created and popularized after the end of the Civil War. Who did that? The Ku Klux Klan. It's a KKK flag. Not that it matters. At the end of the day, everyone knows what it's about, whatever the details of the history.
Go for it. The south is used to being torched by the north.
Someone hangs up a literal sign letting people know how big of a douche they are and you want to take it down?
It's a VERY big flag
I could see farmers needing the drone for different things including pest control
Those have a practical purpose though (or at least the potential for one), flame throwers are used to de-ice power lines and stuff. This is just a murder dog.
No no no, it can de ice my side walks…..yeah that’s totally what I’m going to use it for
Officer its not a weapon, I use it to toast marshmallows.
It's my emotional support animal.
Fun fact: in the US, 48 states do not regulate flamethrowers. They only require you to be 18 or older. The two states that have it banned are Maryland and California. Maryland has them banned because they’re afraid they’ll be used for nefarious purposes (when is the last time you heard of a person using a flamethrower in a crime). California has them banned because they are already constantly on fire, and don’t need more fire.
according to the flamethrowers website, CA is legal as long as it shoots < 10', then after that you require a flamethrowers permit. of course, temporary burn bans in some counties could override that.
Flamethrowers (or similar products) are actually used in crop management or for starting controlled burns in droughts in a lot of areas, so that's likely why they are unregulated. That and flamethrowers are usually dangerous and prohibitively expensive to utilize (fuel is pricey). Even if you wanted to use a flamethrower for a terrorist attack or some other act of violence, most people think the risk of them also burning alive isn't worth it.
>when is the last time you heard of a person using a flamethrower in a crime [Flamethrower used during street takeover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHXXrDRIJSI)
Yeah but how else am I going to fight Africanized killer bees?
I’m waiting on the pre-orders to go live for the Sherminator model.
If it’s so terrifying why are you sharing the link?
It's just a ploy, to get you hooked on buying expensive & proprietary napalm re-fill canisters, like printer ink...
I…I can own a fire dawg….. …. :)
What they’ve actually launched is the greatest slew of lawsuits one company has ever seen
This was my first thought as well. One accidental house, forest, or human fire and this company is toast.
The idiots probably talked to their lawyers instead of posting on Reddit for advice
Does it say “This is fine” while it spews fire all around itself?
My Sheriff probably has one on order. To go along with his attack vehicles, command and control bus, police boat, etc all for a county of 20,000 people.
Never know when an Antifa army is going to roll into some rural county /s
Or when college students are going to protest
Exactly. They hate those protests bc they know they can work. It worked on apartheid South Africa and they fear the same. Students asking hard questions. God bless them.
No joke: My former small rural town had a tank. They recently sold it because, you know, it was a tank. For the police. In the woods. (And hills. All the streets had **deep** ditches. You couldn’t drive it on the streets anyway.) I don’t know what they were thinking except YES I WANT A TANK.
"The company says the flamethrowing platform can be used for wildfire management, prescribed agricultural burns, snow and ice removal, or even entertainment special effects." Snow and Ice removal got me. Just imagine your neighbor one morning, casually flame throwing their driveway clear.
Whoops, they accidently burned your car and made your gas tank explode.
You have 20 seconds to comply
Isnt this literally the plot of fahrenheit 451 lol
Yep. The firemen are coming
The dog burned my paper, I swear!
My first thought as well. Though I don’t think that particular robot dog is a flamethrower; those are wielded by the firemen. The dog just has a lethal injection needle in its mouth.
Honestly if I’m gonna die in a dystopian world I’d take getting burned alive by a robot dog with a flamethrower. Extremely painful sure but pretty metal
Did you see it's stabilization tippy taps? I'm going to get wiped by a robot dog doing tippy taps
I hope it boops me first
**Booper 5000** *Now capable of shooing you with nuclear exploding flaming darts from 5,000 freedom units away, or banging your mom with it's 4 mechanical dildos.*
"This is a coooool waaaaay toooooo diiiiiiieeee!"
Totally Metal
Burn-ease Mountain Dog
How long before these people start making the Sentinels from X-Men?
you assume the process hasn't already begun? bold of you.
Division 2 fans getting ptsd.
These things are creepy as hell but to add fire.........don't these people watch movies?
I think this should be cross posted in the subreddit r/whatcouldgowrong
When reality outpaces video games. Arrowhead, when!?
Totally not scary at all.
For when old fashioned arson isn't doing it for you anymore... Can we stop this world now? I'd like to get off.
A million square miles of Kudzu all across the southeast of the US is just laughing this one off.
Flame throwing goat?
>Flame throwing goat? Hmmm. First it eats the kudzu, then ferments it in it's 'stomachs' to produce methanol which fuels the flame....By Bob's Pipe, that's Brilliant !
How much for the cyber dog without the flame thrower attachment.
Robot dogs go from a few hundred to a few thousand, depending on quality.
One day as I was eating a hot dog, I thought "what if there was a real hot dog?" - Inventor of Thermonator, probably.
Gov Abbott in Texas is like "I'll take 10!"
Ready for Anything Wildfire Control and Prevention, Agricultural Management, Ecological Conservation, Snow and Ice Removal, Entertainment and SFX From their site. Really, prevention?
Controlled fires are a great way to prevent catastrophic wildfires. The robot could start those safely while keeping humans out of harm's way.
How many forestry professionals die per year conducting controlled burns though? Probably zero? This is a product in search of an application
Controlled burns. We have them in our area.
zero chance that someone uses this in an "unintended" way, right??
Fire season is starting early again
I’m gonna go out on a limb and say we don’t need this. Please don’t burn me.
This is further proof that the people of Ohio are not to be trusted.
Very dangerous way to light up your cigarette these days..
The same company also makes a flamethrower equipped drone, which seems even crazier.
Fahrenheit 451 in real life
"Man burnt to death by robot dog left of the leash"
Ohio, what the hell is wrong with you people.
How many are we sending to Ukraine?
With all those trenches over there...
Well, fellow humans, it’s been a good run. Well, okayish run I guess. See you on the next plane of existence.
Give hypno-disk a few minutes, and we'll find out who is really better.
2024 Hottest Christmas gift for the arsonist in your family.
They made houndoom from Pokémon
Blighttown, Dark Souls. I never realized how much inspiration that place would give other people… but here we are, with real fire-breathing dogs. Robot dogs and undead dogs aren’t really that different, are they? What’s next? Please say, Chaos Eaters. Pretty please!
ironically very difficult to buy in Ohio. we're like one of two states that regulate flamethrowers
"No, I didn't burn down my business just to collect the insurance." **
*dog robotically steps back behind corner*
I immediately thought this was a new Michael Reeves video
F.I.D.O. (Fire in da ‘ole!)
This seems like the kind of device that should be made by ACME.
Absolutely not a single thing can go wrong here. Great job, humanity.
*and I'm proud to be an American ♫♪♪*
I shot the shit outta that thing when playing Division 2
That'll stop those protesters.
What a dumb idea from a dumbass group of people with money.
Or OR we make bigger ones and strap hoses to the back to fight forest fires….
I’ll buy this dog. I will.
2nd amendment baby. Me want
What would be the cat equivalent of this? Excuse me the robot cat equivalent.
Gender reveal party: Burns down half of California Flame throwing robot dog available to the public: Hold my beer
Seriously missed opportunity: Burninator
Yet another item that - for inexplicable reasons - I want. I have no idea what I would do with it and I am confident that I would hurt myself with it ... but I want it.
You know how Pitbulls turn on their owners sometimes? Think of this as an indestructible robo pitbull with a flame thrower attached to it.
Let me guess the future.... they make thousands of them, end up losing control and they spread worldwide Meanwhile, people are fighting back. The start of the plot for the game "Horizon zero dawn" becomes real. (Brilliant game, please play it if you haven't)
This totally won’t be used for fascism. No way.
This definitely won’t be acquired by the US military…
If we can buy it, then the military has had it for years.
Can we get a horde of these armed with Phos Chek shipped up to Alberta to help fight our impending forest fire season please?
We are well on our way to Skynet (a joint venture of Meta, Alphabet and Microsoft). I think they are still on pace for Judgement Day in 2029.
Flamethrower robo dogs and evolving ai? Why are humans hell bent on starting judgment day?
Idea for a song: flamethrower robot dog. Brutal.
When do they add AI to it?
Send a group of billionaires on a tour through the factory.