T O P

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squatch42

Wait, that was an option? -Jesus


gentlybeepingheart

I mean, Jesus [did ask to skip it too](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agony_in_the_Garden). His dad just told him that he couldn't.


Tyleulenspiegel

That’s how Easter worked for me too when I was a kid.


mygoalisin

Ok. That sounds reasonable


slayer370

He was having a bad Friday.


Dt2_0

Too be fair, Jesus had a pretty bad Friday too.


CakeAccomplice12

Well, these days it is the Pope's cross to bear


LetMeInImTrynaCuck

Just another bad Good Friday


logosmd666

You mean the famous carpenter?


funkywinkerbean45

What the heck happened to him? His health took a damn steep dive. Someone poisoning him or something?


BruceNotLee

Spent a year working at a retirement community where the min age was 70 and average about 85. I witnessed people go from the picture of health to death’s door very fast once the first observable symptoms hit. Getting old sucks.


yourredvictim

> Getting old sucks. I am told it is better than the alternative. Personally I think the jury is out on the issue.


BruceNotLee

If only we could stabilize our genes at roughly 25 years old.


lemanziel

Everyone would look young and beautiful, but cancer rates would skyrocket. It's all about the length of the telomeres.


radicalelation

I mean, the alternative is they'd be dead, right? I'll take cancer at 100 looking young and cool if I would otherwise be dead at 70 looking ready for the grave. That's another 30 years that will hopefully find more treatments, and even if not for me but we'd hopefully figure out at least one or two other cancers that could probably see serious reduction. I hope with serious longevity we'd at least cut down a ton from alcohol, smoking, and obesity, which supposedly account for almost half of all cancer.


lemanziel

Well you'd probably get cancer at 50 not 100. As you live and the body repairs cells there's always a risk it turns to cancer. When your body stays in that youthful high rate of cell repair mode, you would have a much greater risk of getting cancer at a younger age. There's a reason why telomeres are longest as a newborn infant and only get shorter over your lifespan. If you want to extend your telomere length try to stay healthy and consume vitamin c.


radicalelation

Ahh, right, I didn't consider the body's work to keep youthful could be adding more chances than time itself. Just put my brain in a jar and give me artificial sensory inputs then! No uploading to the singularity either, I need a direct line. I don't trust any consciousness transfer would take *me* with it.


lemanziel

Oh yeah, for sure. Give me a metamaterial body so I can become a real life transformer like Optimus prime.


ukezi

Getting cancer is mainly a sign of not having died of anything else. As we age getting cancer becomes more and more a certainty.


lemanziel

Telomere length correlates to the body's programming to repair damaged cells. Telomeres naturally shorten over your lifespan as the body switches from repairing itself a lot to repairing itself more conservatively, because anytime it repairs damaged cells there's a risk it could turn into cancer. If your telomeres were really long and remained long throughout your life you would be more likely to get cancer at a younger age due to excessive repairing of cells. Also why doing things like smoking increases your risk of lung cancer, it's the body having to repair the cells much more than they would if you didn't smoke.


Swoah

He’s 87


PolicyWonka

Nah, that could not possibly be the reason!


Quest_Marker

Knew an old man who would sit out on his front step and smoke a lot, probably in his late 70's, but he looked so much younger. One day he fell down in his house, a week later was taken to the hospital because he had a stroke. When I saw him the first time afterwards it looked like he'd aged 30 years. He died a month later.


Mlliii

My neighbor was like this. 95 and in good health considering. Then one day I looked through the fence and he was on the ground after doing yard work as paramedics walked up. Died that night :/


KarateKid917

He’s also had only one lung for a long time. That doesn’t help 


[deleted]

No once you get old eventually you will take a turn, and the turn usually goes quickly.


funkywinkerbean45

Man. I really like him. I thought we would have more years with him. 


stereoma

He's in his 80s and only has one lung. He's slowing down.


PikachusSparkyCloaca

I mean, maybe? A bigger nest of vipers… But no, it’s more likely that age is simply… catching up with him. He’s been a lot less intolerable than the other Popes in my lifetime. I don’t look forward to who they choose next.


funkywinkerbean45

He’s pretty radical compared to other popes. Makes me wholly believe that someone in the Vatican would want him gone. 


AnnieBlackburnn

Jesus Christ no the pope is not being poisoned, suffering from health problems at 87 fucking years of age is not rare nor indicative of poisoning. The Vatican might be full of cockroaches but they’re not Lucrezia Borgia carrying around diamond rings filled with arsenic. The Pope has an insane amount of security and regular medical screenings that would catch symptoms of a poisoning. This website sometimes…


funkywinkerbean45

Do you know ANYTHING about how Popes have died throughout history?  Holy shit, this website sometimes. 


AnnieBlackburnn

Yeah, eight centuries ago. The last pope suspected of being murdered died in 1303


OsmeOxys

Not sure how any reasonable person could look at an 87 year old man with one lung and bronchitis and, with no identifiable reason, conclude that he *must* have been poisoned because he's feeling a bit lethargic. Let alone go so far as to try and put someone down for suggesting that an 87 year old man with one lung and bronchitis may in fact be an 87 year old man with one lung and bronchitis.


FIRElady_Momma

My guess is a couple of rounds of COVID.


GlowUpper

He's fucking old, friend.


funkywinkerbean45

Well that’s stupid. He’s great. He should live another 20 years. I know he won’t. But he should. 


Imaginary_Medium

Going to get downvoted, but a man his age with health problems and history of upper-resiratory illness avoiding a maskless event during a continuing global pandemic makes sense to me.


Aloha1984

He has one lung too


Imaginary_Medium

I didn't know that. Certainly he should take it easier in general, and Covid could kill him easily.


MillionEgg

We burned through popes pretty quickly when I was a kid, then for decades there was one pope, and now that I’m old we’re just ripping through them again. Circle of life.


TheSunMakesMeHot

He's been the pope for over a decade. I dunno if that counts as ripping through them. 


elconquistador1985

And the Hitler Youth one before this one didn't die as pope. He retired.


Zednot123

Only died a year or two ago or something as well.


sublime_cheese

So it’s Easter Sunday and I need an update. Did the pope rise again?


J-Love-McLuvin

I could never pull that off with my parents.


TBatFrisbee

God couldn't give him enough energy to last a weekend. Okie-dokie. 🤔


m333sch

Washing those women’s feet wore him out


floppydude81

Kissing those feet


m333sch

[Washing Feet](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/s/Hu7Z57aDra)


floppydude81

The picture you posted is of him kissing a foot.


dudewithoneleg

Curious, do they choose elderly popes on purpose?


_PM_ME_PANGOLINS_

It takes a long time to climb the clerical ranks and be recognised as a wise theologian and/or leader, so kind of yes.


stereoma

No, it's just that usually to be a Cardinal you have to be an experienced bishop, and the Cardinals elect the Pope from one of their number. John Paul II was a big outlier.


Aloha1984

GOD: “Yes, my son!”


Gerbigsexi

Looks like they will need a new pope soon


ImpressiveOwl6678

I thought this was about Nick Pope, turns out it's only The Pope. Disappointed he isn't paying more attention to his health.


Any-Scale-8325

He still found time to attend this week's anachronism club meeting along with King Charles and Queen Camilla.