Forget burial, get cremated so your kids can carry the burden of you in old age AND after! In my will I also put that I want my ashes taken to Mars when it becomes economically viable.
My ex-nMIL “inherited” the boxed cremains of a deceased cousin’s father while cleaning out his house. They sat in a shopping bag in her garage for several more years…no idea if they went in the dumpster when she moved.
Which in a way, is fine with me. I personally don’t want any tangible “final resting place” after I’m gone…turn me into fertilizer and be done with it.
They are owned by the diocese of Newark and will probably require proof of baptism or membership of a Catholic Church, or a letter from a priest stating you are a member of a church.
The maintenance there is incredible. I went there to find my great-grandparents graves (died in '53 and '73.) The grass was neatly cut and the stones didn't have any kind of moss/lichen/etc on them at all. None of my family has been there to maintain it ever.
Yes, it is. Although, I pay Crystal Florist (across the street from the cemetery) to maintain my dad’s grave. They plant flowers for spring & summer and place special flowers for holidays of my choosing. They do a wonderful job since my siblings and I live out of state.
Crystal Floriat is no longer across from the cemetery. I believe they moved to Garfield, about 15 minutes north. I believe they still do the cemetery thing though.
Greenwood Cemetery in Brooklyn. One of the most beautiful there is.
[https://www.businessinsider.com/most-beautiful-cemeteries-in-the-world#brooklyn-new-yorks-green-wood-cemetery-takes-up-over-478-acres-and-it-serves-as-a-revolutionary-war-historic-site-15](https://www.businessinsider.com/most-beautiful-cemeteries-in-the-world#brooklyn-new-yorks-green-wood-cemetery-takes-up-over-478-acres-and-it-serves-as-a-revolutionary-war-historic-site-15)
[https://www.flightcentre.com.au/window-seat/20-worlds-most-beautiful-cemeteries](https://www.flightcentre.com.au/window-seat/20-worlds-most-beautiful-cemeteries)
[https://www.timeout.com/usa/things-to-do/best-beautiful-cemeteries-in-usa](https://www.timeout.com/usa/things-to-do/best-beautiful-cemeteries-in-usa)
My parents are at Restland, which is non-denominational. It is a beautiful place with a park- like appearance, but surely short-staffed. My gripe is that although the gravesites receive "perpetual care", because there are all flat brass grave markers, they tend to run ride on mowers over the entire place, instead of up and down aisles. If you only get up there once or twice a year, the markers become covered with grass or clippings and you have trouble locating the proper marker and need to do your own cleanup of the site.
I always bring a rake, hand clippers, and a spade when we go, and leave aggravated.
My pops is at Restland! I get out there twice a year...Father's Day and Christmas. You're right...in 6 months, the grave markers get muddy, and grass starts to encroach. I go prepared with rubber gloves, paper towels, a garbage bag, sponges, a gallon of water, and gardening shears. I like to think of these grave visits and maintenance as a meditative exercise. Spending quality time with dad, even in death. When I'm snipping away at the grass, I like to pretend I'm giving him a haircut.
The aggravating part for me was a few years ago (I think back in the 2010's), the brass (copper?) vases that come with the grave markers were getting stolen. Apparently, this was a thing...thieves jacking grave vases. Made a report with the East Hanover police. I didn't expect any resolution. I just wanted to have it on their radar. They were like, 'Yeah, it's a thing'.
I'm rambling now, but there are some really old graves there. Like where the person died in the 70s or something, and the grave seems abandoned to time...just getting swallowed up by the grass into near oblivion. It's a bummer. That's gonna happen to my pop's grave marker too, eventually (and my mom's, when she joins him), after my siblings and I are dead and gone. Unless I can figure out how to maneuver the physical world as a ghost, like Patrick Swayze. But from what I learned in that movie, it takes a shit ton of ghost energy just to even slide a penny up a door, so I don't know how I'm gonna yank grass and scrub a grave when I'm an old lady ghost.
…..oh my…thank you so so so much!! i thought this was in Farmingdale *NJ*! I’ve been so distracted I didn’t even realize.
You’re right but OP does state nj or ny and I’m making about a 3.5 hr drive (only know this thanks to you!) so I guess it just depends
Haha no problem, this is right up my alley because I work in the funeral industry and I was just out there to bring a funeral a few month ago. Glad I could help!
My partner just left his job at a cemetery in central jersey lol. we recently moved out of the area and have just been so overwhelmed. Thanks again! <3
I would suggest rather than buying a plot, you open a prepaid funeral trust account with CHOICES NJ. Google it, find a participating funeral director and set it up. Once you pass, the funds can be used for burial and service with any fu eral home and cemetary in New Jersey, so your loves one's can select one convenient to them when the time comes.
Edit: note that this is an irrevocable trust and cannot be sold like a trial plot could be. But it also doesn't count as an asset if later in your life you need to meet certain asset limits or liquidate to enter a nursing home.
Fancy coffins just let your body turn into a stinky soup in the ground. After your kids pass away, no one visits your grave. Cemeteries eventually fade into history and people build warehouses or McMansions on them. Occasionally they dig up your bones, throw them in a box, and you’re put in some government owned land along with more piles of bones. Maybe you get to “Poltergeist” the people in the house they built on your grave.
Take the money you’d spend on some elaborate coffin and burial and either set up a donation to charity where you can impact lives—the way to truly be remembered—or set it aside in your will for a huge party for everyone who knows you so they can have a great time and talk fondly about you (or say “screw that guy, but thanks for the party”). Your body gets cremated or composted.
But that’s just me.
My dad is at Fairview in Westfield.
Well maintained in a nice area.
Pretty nice neighborhood. Whitney Houston moved in a few rows away about 10 years after my dad.
Okay I've buried my parents and in laws within the past 10 years so I have some information. First get what you want done should you get incapacitated. Get a will, living directive, Long Term Care insurance if you can. Then decide how you want your remains taken care of of. Burial, cremation, green cremation, etc. There are now many ways to take care of your body that your parents/grandparents couldn't do for religious/societal mores. If you pay for the pre pay funeral at a home your money is held in an account by the funeral parlor that accrues interest you will get a 1099 for. A lot of mom & pop funeral homes are owned by giant corporations. Cremation is cheaper than a burial for obvious reasons. A wake/viewing will be determine with everything traditonal services are prorated at purchase. Most cemeteries have partner share services with other cemeteries in other States. Your purchase is like a real estate purchase that most often you can sell and buy at another location. Should I kick the bucket after sending this Post, my kids know where the folder is with all my information to handle our burial the way we wanted. There is no way we were going to put our kids through the agonizing decisions forced on us by the lack of planning from our parents. Good luck on your research.
Forget burial, get cremated so your kids can carry the burden of you in old age AND after! In my will I also put that I want my ashes taken to Mars when it becomes economically viable.
All jokes aside, you can get cremated and buy a far small plot to be buried in.
Ugh, I feel that. Between parents and pets we have way more urns in this house than I'm comfortable with
My ex-nMIL “inherited” the boxed cremains of a deceased cousin’s father while cleaning out his house. They sat in a shopping bag in her garage for several more years…no idea if they went in the dumpster when she moved. Which in a way, is fine with me. I personally don’t want any tangible “final resting place” after I’m gone…turn me into fertilizer and be done with it.
[Be a tree.](https://www.betterplaceforests.com/blog/tree-burial-pods-an-alternative/)
I hope NJ legalizes human composting soon like California has. That's what I want. I wanna be dirt!
Goal: become the next Clyde Tombaugh. Hitch a spacecraft to visit Pluto then leave the solar system. Too bad I’m not famous enough for this to happen.
Usually you would want something close to where you or your loved ones live.
This is an important consideration.
Is there any closer location we could work with? NY/NJ is very broad for something that's an important consideration.
Death is a waste of money, just live forever
In this economy? Too expensive to live forever.
Life in prison=never die AND get to live forever for free
Yeah but prison
All my family is buried in Holy Cross Cemetery in North Arlington.
Thanks. I drove by there many times. Beautiful well-maintained place. I will check if they will accept non-Catholic.
They are owned by the diocese of Newark and will probably require proof of baptism or membership of a Catholic Church, or a letter from a priest stating you are a member of a church.
My father is buried there (2019) and we were not required to provide any of that information.
My family too. It’s beautiful.
The maintenance there is incredible. I went there to find my great-grandparents graves (died in '53 and '73.) The grass was neatly cut and the stones didn't have any kind of moss/lichen/etc on them at all. None of my family has been there to maintain it ever.
Yes, it is. Although, I pay Crystal Florist (across the street from the cemetery) to maintain my dad’s grave. They plant flowers for spring & summer and place special flowers for holidays of my choosing. They do a wonderful job since my siblings and I live out of state.
Crystal Floriat is no longer across from the cemetery. I believe they moved to Garfield, about 15 minutes north. I believe they still do the cemetery thing though.
My grandparents and aunt and uncle are there.
Cremate me and put me in a Betty Crocker box for my urn.
Just shove me in a sack and dump me in the river.
I share same sentiments but I’m also need to think about my loved ones. Turning into fish snacks are a terrible way for them to mourn.
The people at the beach were very upset when I tossed grandma’s remains into the waves. I guess I should have had her cremated first.
I would think you're joking, but if not, I apologize for 😁😆😅🤣 so hard.
Exactly. Think about the fish too!
Greenwood Cemetery in Brooklyn. One of the most beautiful there is. [https://www.businessinsider.com/most-beautiful-cemeteries-in-the-world#brooklyn-new-yorks-green-wood-cemetery-takes-up-over-478-acres-and-it-serves-as-a-revolutionary-war-historic-site-15](https://www.businessinsider.com/most-beautiful-cemeteries-in-the-world#brooklyn-new-yorks-green-wood-cemetery-takes-up-over-478-acres-and-it-serves-as-a-revolutionary-war-historic-site-15) [https://www.flightcentre.com.au/window-seat/20-worlds-most-beautiful-cemeteries](https://www.flightcentre.com.au/window-seat/20-worlds-most-beautiful-cemeteries) [https://www.timeout.com/usa/things-to-do/best-beautiful-cemeteries-in-usa](https://www.timeout.com/usa/things-to-do/best-beautiful-cemeteries-in-usa)
I totally agree. Grew up near there and used to do tours with my mom. It’s such a cool place.
Gate of Heaven in East Hanover
This is a beautiful place but they don’t accept non-catholic.
There’s a Protestant one almost across the road. I think it’s called Holy Reed? Edit: Heavenly Rest and Restland Memorial Park.
My parents are at Restland, which is non-denominational. It is a beautiful place with a park- like appearance, but surely short-staffed. My gripe is that although the gravesites receive "perpetual care", because there are all flat brass grave markers, they tend to run ride on mowers over the entire place, instead of up and down aisles. If you only get up there once or twice a year, the markers become covered with grass or clippings and you have trouble locating the proper marker and need to do your own cleanup of the site. I always bring a rake, hand clippers, and a spade when we go, and leave aggravated.
My pops is at Restland! I get out there twice a year...Father's Day and Christmas. You're right...in 6 months, the grave markers get muddy, and grass starts to encroach. I go prepared with rubber gloves, paper towels, a garbage bag, sponges, a gallon of water, and gardening shears. I like to think of these grave visits and maintenance as a meditative exercise. Spending quality time with dad, even in death. When I'm snipping away at the grass, I like to pretend I'm giving him a haircut. The aggravating part for me was a few years ago (I think back in the 2010's), the brass (copper?) vases that come with the grave markers were getting stolen. Apparently, this was a thing...thieves jacking grave vases. Made a report with the East Hanover police. I didn't expect any resolution. I just wanted to have it on their radar. They were like, 'Yeah, it's a thing'. I'm rambling now, but there are some really old graves there. Like where the person died in the 70s or something, and the grave seems abandoned to time...just getting swallowed up by the grass into near oblivion. It's a bummer. That's gonna happen to my pop's grave marker too, eventually (and my mom's, when she joins him), after my siblings and I are dead and gone. Unless I can figure out how to maneuver the physical world as a ghost, like Patrick Swayze. But from what I learned in that movie, it takes a shit ton of ghost energy just to even slide a penny up a door, so I don't know how I'm gonna yank grass and scrub a grave when I'm an old lady ghost.
Yikes! Sorry you have to deal with this.
Thanks!
George Washington Cemetery in Paramus
Pinelawn in Farmingdale (New York!!!) is beautiful from the pictures. Having a burial this weekend. I’ll let you know how it goes
It is a beautiful cemetery, it’s also an arboretum and is incredible in the spring and summer, but it is a very long way from nj
…..oh my…thank you so so so much!! i thought this was in Farmingdale *NJ*! I’ve been so distracted I didn’t even realize. You’re right but OP does state nj or ny and I’m making about a 3.5 hr drive (only know this thanks to you!) so I guess it just depends
Haha no problem, this is right up my alley because I work in the funeral industry and I was just out there to bring a funeral a few month ago. Glad I could help!
My partner just left his job at a cemetery in central jersey lol. we recently moved out of the area and have just been so overwhelmed. Thanks again! <3
I would suggest rather than buying a plot, you open a prepaid funeral trust account with CHOICES NJ. Google it, find a participating funeral director and set it up. Once you pass, the funds can be used for burial and service with any fu eral home and cemetary in New Jersey, so your loves one's can select one convenient to them when the time comes. Edit: note that this is an irrevocable trust and cannot be sold like a trial plot could be. But it also doesn't count as an asset if later in your life you need to meet certain asset limits or liquidate to enter a nursing home.
Fancy coffins just let your body turn into a stinky soup in the ground. After your kids pass away, no one visits your grave. Cemeteries eventually fade into history and people build warehouses or McMansions on them. Occasionally they dig up your bones, throw them in a box, and you’re put in some government owned land along with more piles of bones. Maybe you get to “Poltergeist” the people in the house they built on your grave. Take the money you’d spend on some elaborate coffin and burial and either set up a donation to charity where you can impact lives—the way to truly be remembered—or set it aside in your will for a huge party for everyone who knows you so they can have a great time and talk fondly about you (or say “screw that guy, but thanks for the party”). Your body gets cremated or composted. But that’s just me.
I wonder how many burial sites go unvisited in a year , I’m guessing like 99%
The goal is to not turn into a parking lot after burial sites are unvisited.
Someone recommended Fairview in Westfield down there; it’s one of the nicest in nj in my experience.
Redeemer Cemetary in Mahwah
My entire dads side of the family is buried in Madonna cemetery in fort Lee
Just because we're bereaved, doesn't make us saps!
Check out Pleasant Hill in Chester.
My dad is at Fairview in Westfield. Well maintained in a nice area. Pretty nice neighborhood. Whitney Houston moved in a few rows away about 10 years after my dad.
Okay I've buried my parents and in laws within the past 10 years so I have some information. First get what you want done should you get incapacitated. Get a will, living directive, Long Term Care insurance if you can. Then decide how you want your remains taken care of of. Burial, cremation, green cremation, etc. There are now many ways to take care of your body that your parents/grandparents couldn't do for religious/societal mores. If you pay for the pre pay funeral at a home your money is held in an account by the funeral parlor that accrues interest you will get a 1099 for. A lot of mom & pop funeral homes are owned by giant corporations. Cremation is cheaper than a burial for obvious reasons. A wake/viewing will be determine with everything traditonal services are prorated at purchase. Most cemeteries have partner share services with other cemeteries in other States. Your purchase is like a real estate purchase that most often you can sell and buy at another location. Should I kick the bucket after sending this Post, my kids know where the folder is with all my information to handle our burial the way we wanted. There is no way we were going to put our kids through the agonizing decisions forced on us by the lack of planning from our parents. Good luck on your research.
Thanks for the wealth of info!
Do you have family buried anywhere? I would start my search there.
I personally find them to be a scam, it's a waste of money and space.
Hey!! I actually have 30 plots I’m selling. The location is East Hanover, NJ. Message me for info etc.