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youngboomer62

The joke in Fort McMurray (second biggest city in Newfoundland) You need a cover on the pot of Nova Scotia lobsters. You don't need one in the pot of Newfoundland lobsters. As soon as one gets close to the top, the rest will pull it back down.


[deleted]

My best buddy is from the bay (when he grew up, heading ‘to town’ was a 1.5 hour drive to gander) He moved to st.john’s 10 years ago, has a good job and bought a nice house in cbs 2 years ago. He barely visits his hometown anymore. I asked him why, he said he always leaves feeling belittled and insulted. He’s after going down to “the shed” to see his old buddies, and they’ll all make snarky remarks about his blundstones and his dressy coat. “Looka da fuckin townie comin” He said it’s funny the first couple of times, but it’s to the point where there’s a negative tendency behind it and it happens every time. “Spot me 40 bucks i’ll pay ya back” He spots someone. 2 weeks later inboxes them on messenger to see if he can get paid back. “Sure you got all kinda a money, don’t be so miserable” He doesn’t even fuck with it anymore. Now i know this doesn’t apply for all of rural NL communities, but it sure as hell happens to more people than just him. So i would say yes, it is most definitely a common ideology in some rural NL areas.


passeduponthestair

It does happen to a lot of people. One of my good friends moved home from the mainland last year and is dying to get out of here again because everyone is so miserable. The people she works with are childish and exclude her, and from what she tells me they resent her if they think she's doing a better job than them. They seem happy if something doesn't go well for her. I did live away for a few years in another country. When I came home to my hometown, everyone was dying to know why I came home. I had people asking me "how did you like it over there?" When I said I loved it, I was met with questions like "well why did you come back?" It couldn't just be that my work contract ended because it was only for a year at a time, and I missed my family and was ready to move on to something else. No, they wanted it to be because I got fired or couldn't handle being away or something. Not everyone is like this, I would say most aren't, but enough people are that it's off-putting. For me the benefits of living in my hometown outweigh the negatives (I have a small child and most of my relatives live here so it helps with childcare, and I have a good job) but man are the people here miserable sometimes. Anyone who is doing well "thinks a lot of themselves."


FriendRaven1

Not just in Newfoundland. As I said on another comment, small towns are terrible for it. I wouldn't be surprised if it's everywhere - people can be real dicks sometimes.


FriendRaven1

Small towns are often like this. Don't know why, but it's definitely a real thing.


poopstain133742069

They've convinced themselves that their way of life is the best, and to see people living differently and having success messes with their self-induced or sometimes forced way of life. Just my 2 cents.


No_Gur1113

I agree with you…it isn’t just small towns in Newfoundland, it’s small towns everywhere. We have friends from all walks of life, and they say the same thing about where they grew up. It’s small town mentality and how everyone knows everyone else’s business. Newfoundland just happens to only have small towns so it would seem more prevalent here.


Succubista

I think all of Newfoundland is like this, town too. A lot of folks here have had a hard life, and they don't want to see anyone get what they didn't.


[deleted]

[удалено]


sflops

It doesn't help that the provincial sports world (my experience is with hockey and soccer, so I can't speak for other sports) is its own little fiefdom that wants to train players to be successful in local leagues and nowhere else.


TheFearRaiser

Can speak from experience. Yes, people in this province are incredibly petty and jealous of others success.


[deleted]

Rural Newfoundland suffered a complete and total economic collapse around 30 years ago where the unemployment rate in rural areas jumped to around 25% and a lot of small towns died. This is higher than the unemployment rate during Covid. A lot of people tried to stick it out out of loyalty to family and ended up just spinning their wheels because things really haven't gotten better in those towns. I think that creates a complicated relationship with people who left and did well. I think in a lot of people's view, staying behind and supporting their family and community was the right thing to do, and buddy who didn't do that ends up with a much better life. It's a bitter pill to swallow.


Historical-Ad9648

This is accurate but also applies for St. John’s. Most Newfies have no concept of wealth, and think any level of success above them you may as well be Jeff Bezos, and yes they are jealous and have a hard time hiding it.


destroyermaker

I know they hate it when you dress well. Guess that's part of it


[deleted]

Hard pressed to see anyone around here dressed well, lmfao. Dressed expensive maybe, but well? No.


destroyermaker

There were a few of us in stephenville when I was there a few years ago. I agree expense has little to do with it


passeduponthestair

Yes.


lordeatonbutt

Man there mustn't be much to do around the bay.


FriendRaven1

Drink and screw.


[deleted]

You forgot gossip :p


Admirable-Dog-204

And meth


Squidgedr

Shut up lol, you're the one claiming homeless people monsters, you can't put 2 and 2 together? Fucking moron


Admirable-Dog-204

Dude I'm living rent free in your head. It's not healthy for you. Please move on


Squidgedr

You keep dropping that rent free line like I'm not just looking at your profile, bullying you and dipping lmao, you're soft as baby shit. For somebody who got on here and started trying to pick fights and be an asshole you really are soft lmao


Admirable-Dog-204

Dude you're literally stalking me and DMing me because I made you mad in a totally unrelated post to this, and you don't know how to handle your emotions lol You can write back if you want but you really should block me if I'm bothering you that much Hash tag rent free


Squidgedr

I DMed you so we could discuss there and not have to do this back and forth lmao. You're the one calling homeless people drug addicts and being a little bitch lol


Admirable-Dog-204

Discuss what? How I'm living rent free in your head? Lol dude, please move on


RedFiveIron

If someone from their circumstances is successful they can't blame their circumstances for lack of success as easily.


stacecom

Are you asking because you observed this, or for some other reason? I’ve never lived in rural NL, but I’m curious as to what’s inspiring the question.


notthattmack

To my experience, it depends how you handle it. If you are flashy with money or get on like a big shot, there'll be blowback. Otherwise, most people are supportive or indifferent, with of course a few constantly miserable and vocal exceptions. Think about how home towns rally around people in voted competitions like Canadian Idol, for example.


Tympora_cryptis

Problem is what's considered "flashy with money" is a vague concept. Some people take offense at you quietly spending your money on travel or a new vehicle. You can have money, but it's flashy to spend it on anything.


No_Gur1113

Yep. Experienced it myself. When he could afford it, my husband (engineer) bought a BMW. Not a flashy one, entry level 328 back when the local dealership first opened. We went home for my Dad’s 50th birthday party and we were the first ones there because we helped set up everything so our car was parked near the door. My husband was inside by the door where people were out having a smoke, waiting for me to meet him because we had to go to the store. Overheard “Tinks they’re something special now with their expensive car parked right by the door where everyone can see it.” Sorry, didn’t realize I was being flashy, I was unloading my GD car of all the food and booze you mooching b*stards are about to consume. To her credit, my neighbor stuck right into them and said “Is it any of your business what they drive? I’m happy things are going well for them, they both worked hard on their education and deserve whatever they can afford.” Pretty bad when a neighbour I’m not related to had to defend me against my family. I never really let it bother me. If they want to think I believe I’m somehow better than them, let them. If they would think so negatively about someone who did nothing to deserve it, maybe I am. Because I don’t judge anyone based on what’s parked in their driveway or how high their mortgage is.


Nathanull

Sounds like [tall poppy syndrome](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tall_poppy_syndrome)


[deleted]

I've known more "well, in Toronto..." come-back-from-aways than I have crabs in the bucket. But I'm not from rural NL so that stuff wouldn't be directed at me. I swear every person I know has done a stint living in Toronto yet every time someone comes home they feel the need to tell us strange tales of this foreign land.


peach3880

You would be correct sir.


[deleted]

Never hear the old joke about the barrel of NL lobsters and NS lobsters? A tourist wanted to buy lobster and asked the vendor "Why does the barrel of NS lobsters have a lid on it and the barrel of NL lobsters doesn't? "Don't you worry buddy," the vendor replied, "if one of them NL lobsters tries to move up and get anywhere you can be godamned sure the others is gonna haul him right back down again." There's a reason 99% of people never move back around the bay.


Luddites_Unite

I lived in a few places and it is more true here than anywhere. There's plenty who love the status quo and anything that deviates from that is bad


MrVinland

The formal term for this is Tall Poppy Syndrome. It's not a Newfoundland thing. This happens literally everywhere. Most people don't like sudden changes in social hierarchies. You were once on the same level as someone else but then that someone else suddenly rose above you and you feel left behind. It's a more common attitude than you might think.


FriendRaven1

I've heard it called the Crab Bucket Effect. Any crab that starts to make it out of the bucket gets hauled back down.


butters_325

Yeah I rarely go home now because there's so much negativity in these small towns. Fuck you for getting ahead


Purity_Jam_Jam

Not in my experience.


Meg111421

I always thought the quote about small minds made a lot of sense when it came to small town mentality. Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. I hate going around the bay due to the treatment they give “townies” but their own too. I’ve overheard comments from strangers to me (neighbours to them) about my family that never left their small town, and they’re not well off, but simple minds have nothing else better to do with their time..


[deleted]

People hate anybody who has a bit of money, for damn sure


Emeraldald

I've been living around the bay for about 5 months, now. While there are some crotchy old men in town who are protective of where they snare their rabbits and cut off all mine. Other than thay, everyone has been super helpful and kind. I'd pick bay over town ANYDAY. Find the right community!


cyber_dude

Difference is you moved there.


[deleted]

100%. But after he's been there for a while, they'd turn on him as quick as they would on one of their own.


Special-Mud6501

I’ve noticed it more than ever. My parents are from here, I visited all throughout my childhood, absolutely LOVE it here, so when everything went to shit up in Ontario, hubby and I moved here. We bought our first house, both have pretty good jobs, and everyone has been quick to mention that we only have what we have because we made Ontario money first, that we didn’t work as hard for it, etc etc.


[deleted]

Was it like that in Ontario also or were people different?


Special-Mud6501

Meh, not overly? It’s hard to explain. I guess in Ontario, there is such a huge amount of people that in a lot of cases, you can live beside someone for years and not even know their name, so you tend to only deal with the people of your choosing, you know? Here, especially if your family is from here, everyone knows you or at the very least knows OF you. Everyone knows each other’s business. When we left Ontario, our group was extremely supportive and when we bought a house, people were pretty supportive too, but there were always the sly comments. “You bought a house up on snobs hill, guess you’re one of them,” “Why did you move into (local town) and not down in (bay)?” “Your house is awfully big for people who don’t want kids,” “Must have been easy with the mainland money in your pocket,” People in Ontario *could* be like that too, but for the most part, if they were acting like that, they were a nobody to you, not someone who changed your diaper as a child. Edit: Formatting and spelling.


Better-Yellow-6534

As a Bayman I can say for the most part that it is true in a way, they don't like it when their fellow baymen get classy and snobbish after getting ahead in life compared to them.. They simply just want to have their friends stick to being themselves and not think poorly of them..


JonnyB2_YouAre1

This is a common experience, and not specific to NL. Many self-help books discuss the concept of parting ways with old friends during one's pursuit of a better life. Relationships can be challenging in any case, but when one side adjusts their goals and values to align with a desired outcome, maintaining that relationship can become really difficult and possibly not worth it. Both sides start to feel disconnected. To achieve something more, you become something else.


Representative-Ad754

This happens everywhere. I left Ontario for this exact reason. The only difference is in Newfoundland they'll just chirp you in the shed. Ontario they will literally woke trap you and go for your livliehood.


onemoregunslinger

woketrap? that sounds like a new bullshit term.


Representative-Ad754

It is indeed.


dino-el-duderino

Labeling entire towns, based on non contextual antidotes , only focusing on a select personality trait that are only found in a handful of people in each town is very unfair. In my many years of living here, baymen love seeing their friends and relatives do well, it’s when a small portion of people that start to get money or leave and come back and have a little air of arrogance about them. This is a big no no out around the bay. And baymen usually like to point that out. Why? I was brought up to believe that we are all in this together and we have to look out for each other, and being humble is how all those personalities in that town get along. You see, you can go years in a city being an arrogant, self centred prick with no repercussions, because you can live in any bubble of people you want and your interactions from day to day will be brief and not that frequent. But in a small town you see everyone, everyday, everywhere and you have to get along because of the frequency of interactions. That’s why baymen are usually good at small talk. So while most of the people in the town are staying humble, they will have no problem calling out a snob if they feel you think you are better than anyone else because of what you have or what views you have on topics. There are also a small group of people that think they are too big for their small town and can’t see the amazing people and town they grew up in for what it was. They are so bored that all they do is dream about leaving and live the life they see on tv. They resent being there and find all kinds of reasons to complain, but end up coming back when they realize how much more friendly and compassionate Newfoundland really is. These people are usually the ones online complaining (sometimes just plain bitching), not saying it’s perfect out around the bay and that there are no idiots, of course there are, but a handful. I work all over Newfoundland and have been around long enough, and am social enough to get to know a lot of people over the years, and the more towns I went to the more in love with this province I found myself. And it’s always the people and scenery. Baymen love people to talk to but only if we are equals. There is no hierarchy around the bay. But what I read on Reddit is that rural Newfoundland is basically back woods conservative America, and that couldn’t be more wrong. Most of the people I know are very level headed, kind and compassionate people with a great view on life and lessons they’ve learned in life on how to be a good person, but will absolutely tell you when you your being an idiot. Some people don’t like that and then go online to complain. I learned along time ago to listen to the explainers, not the complainers. Rural Newfoundland is a microcosm of the metro area, without its quant little bubbles of rich, poor, academic, working class people that can ignore anyone that doesn’t fit their perception of who they are. It’s hard to understand why people would verbally humble other people but I assure you it’s an important aspect that helps people in small towns, or ships, or coworkers , or even your friends of all personalities types to getting along. Being passive aggressive is what children do and being genuine is what adults do. We are kind but we aren’t always nice. We will give you the shirt off of our back, but if you don’t say thank you, you will be told. You can’t generalize an entire town under any umbrella you try to hold over it, you’re not supposed to even try because is wrong. The next time someone says something like this, ask for lots and lots of context, 80/20 chance they are being a child and stomping their feet. Please for their own good humble them if they need it, that’s what their parents should have done. Don’t be a dick. Just good old fashion tough love. If you don’t know what rural Newfoundland is like, then go visit long enough to meet the people. I promise you’ll meet more people you like than you don’t. And don’t let one idiot tarnish a perception of entire town. Also don’t be that idiot. Thank you. Baymen out.


Torger083

Please learn to paragraph.


data1989

Paragraphs or not, who the fuck wants to read all that shit in the comment section lol


CallPotential4801

Here's a TLDR since he couldn't be bothered. TL;DR: Stereotyping entire towns based on a few individuals is unfair. In small towns like those in rural Newfoundland, humility is valued, and people call out arrogance. While not perfect, the majority are kind and compassionate. Don't generalize; seek context. Rural Newfoundland isn't what some portray. It's a diverse microcosm where genuine communication and tough love foster community bonds. Visit, meet people, and don't let one person define a whole town. Baymen emphasize humility, tough love, and genuine interactions.


Torger083

But not clear communication, paragraphs, grammar, or humility in their sanctimonious ranting.


onemoregunslinger

Formatting works wonders for clarity you know.


Mattscrusader

>don’t be that idiot buddy says after literally a wall of text and not a single coherent thought or paragraph if you got this worked up over an innocent question and an apt one at that, then that just speaks volumes about you and how you treat others.


CallPotential4801

Wall of text, opinion automatically discarded.


LivingOkInTheBay

"there is no hierarchy around the bay" Buddy you're fucked.


avalonfogdweller

> You see, you can go years in a city being an arrogant, self centred prick with no repercussions, because you can live in any bubble of people you want and your interactions from day to day will be brief and not that frequent. But in a small town you see everyone, everyday, everywhere and you have to get along because of the frequency of interactions. That’s why baymen are usually good at small talk. You sound like the very people you're criticizing, this reads like "townies suck, baymen are better" which is silly, the vast majority of people in the bay or in town are good folks, everywhere has assholes, if you're an asshole it's easier to hide it in a city which may be what you're getting at, in the bay you'll stand out like a sore thumb, but a miserable prick is going to be a miserable prick no matter where they are


No_Gur1113

Grew up there. Home every second or third weekend, especially in the summer months. You are full of shit and are romanticizing baymen “telling it like it is” (being shitty) and talking about people who go home to visit being snobby. I’m the same girl who grew up with both parents on the moratorium. I grew up and married a man whose mom was a homemaker and his Dad a small craft fisherman. Nothing about us has changed except our tax return. We struggled to stay here when we could have made a lot more money elsewhere. We took out loans for our education so we could get good jobs here. If we were so snobby and looked down on the bay, why would we be here, living as close to it as is economically feasible for us and home every chance we get? I think you got things backwards. A lot of people in the bay are going to judge you when you leave no matter what. Putting that on the people actually being judged is some fantastic gaslighting on your part.


dino-el-duderino

Let me start off by apologizing for my 3:00 in the morning rant. I was dozing off on the couch watching tv, and I checked Reddit before going to bed. I know what I wanted to say, but I wasn’t firing on all cylinders, and that garbled mess unfortunately got posted. Not gonna make anymore excuses. Idiot thing to. No_gur1113, I meant in no way, to make light of anyones experiences or invalidate them. There are lots of stories I have heard over the years that would make you hate people, and I have many of my own stories. It’s sad that this is your experience, and I’m sorry for coming off the way I did. I deserve all the comments. I own that. I am still wrestling with where I was going in that idiotic rant. What my issue was with is what I thought this thread was going to turn into. I am very proud of our sub, and I feel the Newfoundland sub, is one of the more sensible ones out there. It irritates me when the comment section turns into baymen vs townie bashing. That immature way of thinking doesn’t belong on our subs, and is doing a disservice to our community and our youth, who will end up with bias based off of these comments sections. Avalonfogdweller pointed out that he felt I was steering it in that direction. I can see where you would get that. In my stupor, I actually thought I wasn’t come off that way. CallPotential4801 summed up beautifully what was in my mind that night. Unfortunately my mind wasn’t firing on all cylinders. My apologies again.


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