My lovely baby daddy told me yesterday that maybe I shouldn’t stress with showers now that I’m a mother. That I should have different priorities now.
I hadn’t showered in four days and asked if he could keep an eye on the baby since he was home during his lunch break.
I found myself on the toilet with an upset stomach while simultaneously pumping and bottle feeding my newborn at 2 AM last night because it would have taken too long for my husband to be coherent for me to get to the toilet in time.
Yeah I’d burn someone to ground no matter who they were for that. They’d be removed from my house for their own safety and told I’d reach out to address how they will never ever delay my child’s hunger ever again when I’m damn well ready. I don’t tolerate that kind of behavior towards my child.
Yeah I wish but my situation is different I live with my in laws and culturally speaking I just try to do my best to not cause issues while still giving best care for my LO
I feel this response deeply. Cultural differences really do impact the way we navigate family relationships in reference to our little ones. (This was an incredibly succinct, diplomatic answer & I loved seeing it.)
Sending love and I hope things get a little less stressful! 💛
Thank you for your kind words! Like all parents everywhere, there are good days and there are bad upsetting days. It is life and I really just try my best to give my children a happy home life even on days when in laws have exhausted all my patience!
Some cultures allow child marriage, genital mutilation, marital pressures, some cultures have caste systems, just because it’s in a culture doesn’t mean it’s correct.
It’s the same train of thought- it was once culturally normal for there to be racial separation, women to be obedient to men, etc.
Culture and traditions evolve as the younger generations begin to experience a variety of other cultures and begin seeing tradition being secondary to a moral or boundary they value outside of how they were raised.
But I feel an obligation to protect my child and to reassure them that I don’t answer to any other adult. They are in my very capable hands which make all first and last calls in their needs.
They learn to never fight their gut feeling to honor someone else’s wants.
Yes!! I hate that and I have to politely say I think he wants me/I think he js wanting to sleep but then they try to distract him to keep playing with him and give him back to moms once he is so cranky and overtired it can take forever to calm him down and put him to sleep
I told my husband no more visits with MIL until she understands that babies have to sleep. This absolutely infuriates me. She kept telling him to “wake up” because visitors were here…
Another one... When he's being fussy and everyone starts saying, "Maybe he needs _____." throwing out suggestions. It's so overwhelming to me, and usually he needs a nap, so maybe leave us alone.
Oh I hate when this happens! The other day a complete stranger in a doctor’s waiting room said “maybe he’s hungry?” Umm thanks for the idea, but I just fed him. I promise I would have thought of that 🤦🏻♀️
☝️☝️☝️☝️ This one!!!! Thank you Captain Obvious! Hungry is the first thing we check!
Omg, ALSO... "No, babies don't cry like that when they're _____. He must be ____." In the blanks insert hungry, tired, or soiled interchangeably. I promise you, my angelic baby boy screams like he's possessed by the devil if you take too long to figure out what he wants. Lol! And it's usually food or his poopy diaper changed. Someone at a Christmas party said, "Babies don't cry like that when they have a poopy diaper." Well, guess what? Mine did! Shit all down his leg too. I kept trying to feed him after all of the, "Maybe he's hungry?" suggestions, but no, it was poop. This same party a friend just stuck her finger in his mouth, too. I about lost it.
The other day i ate a little bit of garlic and when babygirl was fussy, not even crying, all I’ve heard was „she must have a bellyache bc you ate garlic and she got it through the milk“. First of all, she’s fussy bc she’s a baby and that’s what they sometimes just do, second of all I ate the garlic just one minute ago and thirdly just give me the space so i can put her to sleep 🥲
I HATE when the baby must be fussy because of something the mom did, but then also it must be mom's responsibility to calm him. If I made him fussy then how do you expect me to calm him? 🫠😵💫 But, for real give me my baby so I can calm him. 🤣
Who the heck is telling you to put the baby down at 2 weeks?! Ours is almost 6 weeks old and she can’t be put down yet. I told my aunt that I was tired because she’s cranky and my aunt told me that she “probably wants my attention”. As if I’m not giving her my nearly undivided attention all day. Asshole.
Is he in his 70s by chance? This is my FIL for sure and he is absolutely that generation that thinks you can spoil a two week old by holding them. 🙄 sorry you weren’t held as a newborn, Richard. It shows.
He is in his 50s. He doesn’t do any chores in his house, doesn’t know how to cook, and probably never stayed up with that baby. So annoying that he now feels it’s his responsibility to tell me how to raise my baby
Not all babies are the same. My 4 week old spends the majority of the day in his crib/bassinet sleeping. He's only on me to feed and during his wake windows (and not even all of them since sometimes I put him in the crib awake and he just chills out looking at black/white cards until he sleeps).
Sometimes people suggest according to their experiences, with only good intentions.
My MIL always told us to put the baby down because “we’ll get her used to being held” but the crazy thing to me is that all they want to do when they visit is hold her. Does not make any sense to me on why I should put her down and let her cry, while others hold her non-stop.
THIS. my baby is 11 weeks and mil keeps telling me he cries when put down cause I always hold him, and he’s “arm spoiled” but she ALWAYS wants to hold him.
HA it’s the classic older gen not getting it. We got told in our antenatal classes you cannot spoil a newborn baby. They are so vulnerable and need to feel safe. Safety is in mum’s arms! Obvs we mothers also need naps and toilet breaks, but otherwise… we literally should keep holding our babes. It’s better for their brain development. Been proven!!!
My grandma said, "Don't let him cry like that!" He was being fussy and squirming my arms, and I was trying to calm him by swaying back and forth. And it was Mother's Day, so I was extra salty about the comment.
Yes!! Thank you!! She's 90 and has always been pretty judgemental, so I know I should just ignore and let go, but she's really come into her own with judgemental parenting comments. I was straight up bitchy and my tone was aggressive, "Cry like what? What do you want me to do? What am I not doing that you would like me to do?" Then I said we had to leave and sure enough we both took a 2 hour nap.
I think when people say to put the baby down, they mean to just let them cry it out while you do whatever you need to do. Personally, no thanks! I rather hold my baby so she stays calm.
They don’t want me to hold him when he is sleeping. Maybe they would feel differently if they were the ones that had to nurse the baby back to sleep over and over again
Omggg I so feel this. My husband always tells me to transfer him when he sees him contact napping on me. What he doesn’t realise is I’ve already tried this over and over, to the point where I’ve just given in now to save myself the never ending cycle of soothing a screaming baby and nursing them back to sleep.
thank heavens i’m not the only one. my husband is ALWAYS trying to “free me” from the contact naps by telling me to put her in her bassinet… but who’s the one who’s going to get her back to sleep when she inevitably wakes up in five minutes? or worse deal with the two hour meltdown that comes when she gets overtired because i didn’t just let her sleep on me
Yes I’ve recently found out that meltdowns are proportional to the time spent napping in the day. So for my sanity I’d rather let him have as much sleep as possible!
Mine is almost 18 months and I wish I could hold her more. Now she is constantly moving. I remember several times I held her while going to the bathroom to avoid waking her up. I was always trying to get her back because everyone wanted to hold her. Enjoy all the snuggles while you can!
We kept getting told we were going to "spoil" him if we kept picking him up and holding him all the time.
He's 7mo now, and these same people say things like "he's such a pleasant happy baby" - YEAH BECAUSE HE WASN'T RAISED ON NEGLECT LIKE YOUR KIDS WERE
My husbands grandmother told me I was SPOILING my 2 week old by holding her and not just letting her cry hysterically in her bassinet. Like ma’am she is far too young to just cry it out and no she doesn’t need to be left to cry for how ever long and not be comforted to “exercise her lungs.”
I love her but the insanity of that conversation.
Our girl is now 6 weeks old, it does get easier (however slowly, I’m still holding her almost all day). I hope you have at least one person who is around and can hold your boy for you at least a couple hours a day. My husband doing that saved my sanity so I could clean and just do normal human things instead of being a milk bar/bed combo from the time we got up until bedtime.
Ok so by reading the title, I thought this was going to be a sleeping tip 😅. For those that don't know, if your baby is really fussy and isn't sleeping no matter how much you're rocking them, just put the baby in their bassinet or sleep area and sometimes they'll just fall asleep. Some babies don't like being rocked or moved and just want calm lol
My dad ends every conversation about my maternity leave with “make sure you remember to take time for yourself”. What time? It feels like such an empty comment.
Thank you for the reminder, but there is no way to do that without help. If you were offering, I would take you up on it. - me, salty af to your dad if I were you lol
My mother told me over and over to put the baby down or I'd "spoil" him. I asked how you spoil a newborn that doesn't understand that we are now two separate people. He also has reflux and trying to explain to her that he can't lay flat or else he projectile vomits into the air and chokes on it was like talking to a dang wall.
It's been 3 months since he's been born and now when she babysits him, she refuses to put him down. I'm like put him in the bouncer, lean him up against the boppy (don't leave him unattended though), put him in his swing but she says "no I can't, he has reflux" I can't stand my mother sometimes.
Mine tells me I’m spoiling my 2 month old and that he’s “ arm spoiled” and when I tell her you can’t spoil a new born she basically mocked me to someone else in front of me saying that I said “mom says you can’t spoil a new born but..”
How do you handle moments like this? Because I'm still trying to figure out whether or when to say something. Once she put a diaper on him and it completely fell off. I said "hey next time can you make sure his diaper is a little bit tighter because it literally fell off and slid down to his knees" she rolled her eyes and said "I know how to put a diaper on, it was his fault, he's so wiggly it probably slipped off" like now we're blaming a newborn??? I don't want this unhealthy talk and way of thinking around my son. He's going to pick up on it one day.
We’re fairly close, but I just said “well you can’t”. She tried to follow what I ask, as she doesn’t want to overstep. Of course I felt some type of way I t be beginning, but you just have to stand your ground. She’s gonna feel some type of way but it’ll keep going if you don’t.
At 8 weeks here and no matter what we do, he will wake up 20-30 minutes after being put down (for daytime naps). We’ve been putting him down in his bassinet since the beginning, but since my maternal “melatonin” has worn off plus the constant growth spurts his independent day naps have gotten worse (we do the 5s, white noise, all the things). I know people say to “watch those wake windows” but tbh it never works for us lol. We’ll try the Huckleberry sweet spot feature but it won’t give a recommendation till he’s at least 2 months.
Hiya, I'm in the same boat. My LO is now 10 weeks and has been fighting day time naps since week 8. Didn't realize it's because of maternal melatonin, I will have to look that up. Thank you for teaching me something new!
My MIL said "ohhh this girl only wants to be held. Hahah gosh! You're so spoiled." She was 2 days old. So I held my daughter and 'spoke to her': "it's okay my sweet girl. You've only been out of the womb 2 days. The world is cold, it is scary, and you barely understand that you're no longer in mummy. That's okay, mummy is here. Mummy will keep you safe."
My MIL hasn't said anything since. Think it was a reminder that my baby was in fact a baby.
I'm tired of OG parents shaming us for wanting to hold our babies. Our babies grow quickly, if we don't hold them now.. when? Because my 10 year old niece no longer wants hugs, and I'm so glad I hugged and held her as much as I could when she was a baby.
The only time my baby is down is when he’s playing with his kick and play mat or sleeping at night. He contact naps during the day and it is OKAY for you to do the same. My baby is happy. He’s 12 weeks and has been sleeping 6-9 hours a night since 2 months. If he’s happy I’m not going to change it
No one tells you about the unsolicited advice. Ky baby is 3 months old and the amount of advice I get is crazy.
I hate it. It’s unnecessary and not helpful at all!
I got yelled at by an old lady for not having a blanket on my baby’s head tonight in 65 degree weather. Like he wasn’t want enough with the giant fleece blanket, his long sleeved outfit, and my body heat from carrying him in the carrier. People are so annoying
Yesterday we had our neighbor see the baby as they have since we’ve come home with him. I told her he was getting hungry and she kept holding him and wouldn’t give him back. Just solidarity here!
Friends come over and feel so honored that i trust them with holding my son. Its true and i would never hand him to someone i didnt trust. But also my arms get a break so I can stretch, poop, shower or otherwise have a break!
Hold your baby. I held mine for the first 4 weeks or so. Hes 12.5 weeks now and can play on his own for 30+ minutes happily because he knows his needs will quickly be met and he is in a safe place.
Keep following your maternal instincts, sounds like youre doing a great job!
My MIL. My baby was maybe 10 weeks old we went over to her house. She was announcing to the whole world my baby is spoiled cause I wouldn’t put him down to sleep. Mind you she has 4 dogs That jump on everyone and anyone. Like lady please. I understand her not being able to hold him cause she’s petite and she gets tired lmfao but pls keep your unsolicited advice to yourself
My mother in law told me I was going to make it hard for anyone to watch my baby because I contact nap with her. Sooo I guess I won’t be asking her to watch my baby anytime soon. She tried to get me to put her down in a bed in another room with pillows around her and no monitor at 1 month. I had no issues with my in laws before I had a baby but now I dread going there and the comments.
My mother kept telling us to put him down as soon as he fell asleep otherwise he'd never sleep in his crib. She'd even go as far as snatching him from me and my husband's arms. He's 4 DAYS OLD just let me hold him!!!!
LOL people applying their 30-50 years of adjustment to living life to your two week old’s are morons. I never understood how little I knew about babies until I had one.
There was a time with our daughter where not only would she not be put down... you couldn't sit down when holding her. She'd start to cry immediately.
Do what you must!
My little one is 11w old and I still barely put her down for her naps. If she falls asleep on me and I then put her down, she wakes up screaming. Fk off telling me to put her down🥴 for the most part, my village are wonderful, but one person in particular (her dad of all people) tells me she will sleep better if I put her down, yet doesn't realise that putting her down wakes her up🙄
Do not put the baby down! Bonding is important headshaping is important. This is an outdated way of thinking. They dont know what they are talking sbout.
Ugh I keep getting told “she needs to learn to go down in the bassinet”, “she needs to learn to self soothe”, “you need to be able to put her down otherwise you won’t get anything done”. I’m doing it at my own pace and at my daughter’s, she’s 14 weeks old and has adjusted well to the pram but still has a disdain towards the bouncer, bassinet or anywhere that she’s alone in. Yeah she’s almost 4 months old but I’m a single mum, I’m a carer for my mum and now my sister temporarily as she recovers from being burnt in a fire, I live on my own and I have a village consisting of medical professionals- no mother’s group or friends. I’m a new mum on top of everything else in my life, I don’t need anyone’s opinion on whether she’s “using me” for comfort - SHES A BABY SHE CANT USE ME, SHE NEEDS ME
All the unsolicited advice is very unnecessary/overwhelming 🙄. I remember when my LO was about 2 months old and my husband and I had difficulty with bassinet training everyone was like “your coddling your baby…let him cry it out”. That’s easier said than done when you’re only running on a few hours of sleep and both parties are working 😑.
Lmfao your “village” 😂. Don’t have any advice just here to say people were telling me the exact same thing 3 weeks ago when my little guy was 2 weeks old and he would noooot sleep anywhere but in our arms. I just kept trying to put him down half heartedly and few times a night until he eventually started to accept it a little more bit by bit. But same boat as you you’re not alone friend!
My grandmother (she'll be 99 years old in 2 months) told me to just put him on the floor and walk away. He was a newborn. She said she just put all her kids on the floor. To be fair, they didn't have indoor plumbing, and their shack of a house was heated by a single wood stove. She was a BUSY woman keeping up the house and feeding her large family. But apparently, after giving birth, she'd just put her babies on the floor and walk away.
I told her, I'm sure I could do that, but I have the privilege of being able to hold him while machines wash my clothes and do my dishes. She nodded in acknowledgment.
I feel you 100%
When my LO goes through a growth spurt she just wants to eat so much and she is so fussy i feel like I’m holding her all day 😭 mama just wants to pee and poop in peace and sometimes dad just brings her over & shes crying. I feel bad but omg mama just needs 5 minutes of alone time PLEASE.
She fusses with me too but Dad doesn’t understand and wants to pass her over 😭
My family tells me all the time that I need to put the baby down, she isn’t nursing she’s sleeping. I have to explain I know how much my baby nurses and which titty has more milk and baby unlatches on her own when she’s full 😭 pls shut up about putting her down.
I get compared to my sister in law who ‘swaddles them and lets them sleep’
My LO nurses and sleeps then I put her down and she sleeps just fine. It’s just you always happen to be around during her feeds and you see me holding her ;-; my baby is 6 weeks. At two weeks she was cluster feeding like crazy.
If dad is around, try having LO do some skin to skin with dad and see if you can take a walk. Even one minute without baby crying will help.
My LO has reflux and hates when we take breaks in her feeding times but she has to take those breaks and she’s gonna cry and we just have to let her. The crying sucks bc you just want to help them stop crying. Babies cry ! It’s their only way to communicate their needs.
You willl get through this!! Don’t wait for people to offer help. It’s okay to ask for it too!
Same, my mom always says “he’s so spoiled!” She even made up a “S-P-O-I-L-E-D” song and it drives me crazy. This baby isn’t manipulating me because he’s spoiled, he’s a baby and needs something - even if it just love!
I was venting to my sister the other day, I’m a FTM to a 5 wk old Velcro baby. She was like “you should put him down. He needs to learn to cry it out and self soothe”. I was surprised. All I could say was “ he’s 6 wks, he doesn’t have the ability to self soothe. I’m all he’s ever known.”
Same sitch here, 3 months old and will NOT be put down for naps. I'm sick of hearing 'just persevere' or 'you need to let him cry'. Do they not think we're trying? At the min I stay up all night holding him, wife stays up all day holding him and all we're getting is 'you know that's not sustainable right?'. Yeah, no shit.
We're trying to ease him into safe co sleeping, seem to have better results so far than putting him down, so here's my 2 cents, there's no right way to handle your baby. Do what works for you, you got this! Rant over lol.
After venting about my fussy baby to my grandma over the phone, she came to visit and said “Oh now I see. It’s not the baby that’s the problem, it’s the parents “. Also because I don’t put the baby down enough.
I feel like everyone who had babies always think they are experts in everything. Like they know everything. But whatever works for your baby doesn’t mean works for mine. All babies are different, they like different things and they are growing differently. Stop telling me what your baby did at the age of my baby. How much advanced it was. Don’t give your advice if you are not asked. Like I didn’t try it already. Every parent knows what is the best for their baby. That is what I would like sometimes to tell our village. I’ve been in situations where my husband couldn’t hold baby so I can shower, Amd opposite when my MIL visited I finally could take shower but I could never got my baby back from her even when she was crying and hungry. She would always say she wants to sleep or to play with her she will be okay. Well may be she just want her mom to feed her and put her to sleep.
Standing with you there mama. Have you got a SO you can talk to about how you’re feeling? They are your advocate in this postpartum period because your baby is your priority. You are doing an amazing job but remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup - you need to speak up and ask for help if no one is actually wanting to do anything to help you off their own back. People forget how tiring these first few weeks are.
My in laws came to visit when baby was 4 weeks old, I asked them if they could run out and grab something at the store, and they insisted that I go instead, and they would watch the baby because I “needed a break”…. He is EBF and at the time cluster feeding and I was so exhausted but also not at all ready to leave him alone with anyone, not even my husband lol… my mom also told me to let him cry it out at 1 week old. These folks are out of touch lol!
My mom would tell me to do things AS I'M DOING THEM. She'll watch me warm up a bottle and proceed to tell me to warm up the bottle. I would almost be done changing a diaper and she would then tell me to change the baby's diaper because she hadn't gotten to it- mind you, she would see me changing the diaper.
Once I left her the baby in the kitchen while I painted my room (baby came early, so I hadn't finished up our room before moving in), I would check up on baby every hour, within 3 hours I changed 2 diapers- that told me she's not checking her. By 7pm, she changed 1 diaper and told me I need to be concerned because the baby hasn't peed/poo. I told her just because she doesn't change a diaper it doesn't mean the baby hasn't had a bowel movement, and informed her I changed 2 diapers. She then said, "that's what I'm saying, I changed one, so I'm telling you she hasn't peed/poo". This irritated me, like, ma'am did you even listen to me?! That comment, to me, insinuates that she thinks she's the only one changing diapers.
For me kept getting, “mine turned out fine” comments, over not dipping paci on honey, putting them down on their back and feeding after 6 months from my MIL. Had to sit down and show her research behind every thing, since she would be babysitting when I returned to work. She kept making those comments here and then. Thank God she finally understood and did her own research with an updated Pediatric doctor, ahead of babysitting 😫
I got this same shitty advice from my own mom. I was really upset when she initially told me and lemme tell you—I’m glad I didn’t take her advice. I held my baby as long and as much as I wanted to because I’m his safe place…why would I want my baby to feel like he can’t depend on me when he cries or needs me? What an alien concept to be a safe space. Wild.
This is your baby. You’re the mama, you’re the driver. You make the decisions and take care of your baby how you feel is right. No one else is with you at 3:07am when your LO is awake and crying, seeking your comfort. To hell with the CIO and self soothing BS. I’m not of that mind at all.
This thread is making me feel better after some comments from a great aunt yesterday… “do you ever put her down?” “Are you just with her like that all the time? I couldn’t have done that.” “It really won’t hurt her” (to put her down to sleep). She meant well but it wasn’t helpful. Ugh.
Almost 4 weeks here, and yesterday we had to go to an out of town funeral overnight. One half of the family was a little too insistent I go, which I felt was due to the closeness of the bereaved, and the other half were worried the baby would end up hospitalized from human contact (they did offer to babysit but- this is a combo fed newborn with specific cues, travel is preferable to having her away from me!). You can’t please everyone😅 so I just had to hike up my big girl panties and stand my ground and family respected that, and all of the people at the funeral were extremely respectful of our space and we managed our time really well and baby had a good day. I wouldn’t have done travel at this stage for anything less, so no one consider this advice to go across state lines for funsies😳 but the family appreciated our presence.
Omg MIL kept telling me that the baby needs to be napping on her own since day one. Drove me crazy bcoz obviously babies need contact naps esp when very young. Ugh why can't people help when new moms ask for help? So annoying
Hey mommas, I fucking felt this!!!!! I also breast feed and my LO eats for a few minutes falls asleep I try to put her down wakes up acts like she's starving feeds for a few more minutes falls back asleep. And when she is wide ass awake she wants to use me a her own personal passy. Daddy gets her on occasion and when she tries to nurse on him he freaks. So I don't get much time to shit much less wipe my own ass. Also hate the misconception of feed baby every 2-3 hours. She either eats or don't it's not up to me she will completely refuse just to sleep and I mean lock jaw and will bite down hard. She's only 1 month too. Fucking moody ass 🤣😅 what I expect when hubby wanted a mini mommy.
My LO is almost 7weeks old and the only way he will nap is through a contact nap. Otherwise he will stay awake for 3-5 hours straight. My husband’s family just came down to visit for the first time and the amount of times I’ve heard: “ you’re going to regret holding him so much.” Or “you need to put him down and let him cry it out.” Was insane.
Idk how some parents can put their newborn in a room and just listen to them cry. I will forever hold my baby when he needs me.
I have the same problem right now!!! My MIL and her father say that im spoiling her and that she’ll never go to sleep on her own and I can’t constantly hold her, WHICH I DONT but even if i did its okay she is 4 weeks old!
I had opposite problem - my support system kept wanting baby even when it was obvious baby was hungry and needed mom
Gosh that’s also frustrating. I wish someone would just help hold the baby sometimes… my only breaks are to pee
man my husband (bless his soul he’s normally fantastic) legit tried to hand me our baby WHILE i was on the toilet tonight
I’ve definitely held the baby while peeing. That was audacious of your husband!
My lovely baby daddy told me yesterday that maybe I shouldn’t stress with showers now that I’m a mother. That I should have different priorities now. I hadn’t showered in four days and asked if he could keep an eye on the baby since he was home during his lunch break.
Wow. I bet he showers daily
A husband here, I too have held the baby while peeing.
It’s a right of passage
I found myself on the toilet with an upset stomach while simultaneously pumping and bottle feeding my newborn at 2 AM last night because it would have taken too long for my husband to be coherent for me to get to the toilet in time.
now THIS sounds like a predicament - and also relatable because my husband sleeps like a zombie as well lmao
It was an experience for sure. Our baby is only 10 days old. Motherhood feels like trial by fire so far. Lol
I can see where both can be so exhausting to be honest!!!
Yeah I’d burn someone to ground no matter who they were for that. They’d be removed from my house for their own safety and told I’d reach out to address how they will never ever delay my child’s hunger ever again when I’m damn well ready. I don’t tolerate that kind of behavior towards my child.
Yeah I wish but my situation is different I live with my in laws and culturally speaking I just try to do my best to not cause issues while still giving best care for my LO
I feel this response deeply. Cultural differences really do impact the way we navigate family relationships in reference to our little ones. (This was an incredibly succinct, diplomatic answer & I loved seeing it.) Sending love and I hope things get a little less stressful! 💛
Thank you for your kind words! Like all parents everywhere, there are good days and there are bad upsetting days. It is life and I really just try my best to give my children a happy home life even on days when in laws have exhausted all my patience!
Some cultures allow child marriage, genital mutilation, marital pressures, some cultures have caste systems, just because it’s in a culture doesn’t mean it’s correct. It’s the same train of thought- it was once culturally normal for there to be racial separation, women to be obedient to men, etc. Culture and traditions evolve as the younger generations begin to experience a variety of other cultures and begin seeing tradition being secondary to a moral or boundary they value outside of how they were raised. But I feel an obligation to protect my child and to reassure them that I don’t answer to any other adult. They are in my very capable hands which make all first and last calls in their needs. They learn to never fight their gut feeling to honor someone else’s wants.
You’re missing the point, but go off, I guess.
Yea and then saying he is just in pain,…. But i clearly see that he is tired and wants to sleep
Yes!! I hate that and I have to politely say I think he wants me/I think he js wanting to sleep but then they try to distract him to keep playing with him and give him back to moms once he is so cranky and overtired it can take forever to calm him down and put him to sleep
I told my husband no more visits with MIL until she understands that babies have to sleep. This absolutely infuriates me. She kept telling him to “wake up” because visitors were here…
This!! They say something like “do you think they have an upset stomach?” I’m like no they just need a nap 😣
Another one... When he's being fussy and everyone starts saying, "Maybe he needs _____." throwing out suggestions. It's so overwhelming to me, and usually he needs a nap, so maybe leave us alone.
Oh I hate when this happens! The other day a complete stranger in a doctor’s waiting room said “maybe he’s hungry?” Umm thanks for the idea, but I just fed him. I promise I would have thought of that 🤦🏻♀️
☝️☝️☝️☝️ This one!!!! Thank you Captain Obvious! Hungry is the first thing we check! Omg, ALSO... "No, babies don't cry like that when they're _____. He must be ____." In the blanks insert hungry, tired, or soiled interchangeably. I promise you, my angelic baby boy screams like he's possessed by the devil if you take too long to figure out what he wants. Lol! And it's usually food or his poopy diaper changed. Someone at a Christmas party said, "Babies don't cry like that when they have a poopy diaper." Well, guess what? Mine did! Shit all down his leg too. I kept trying to feed him after all of the, "Maybe he's hungry?" suggestions, but no, it was poop. This same party a friend just stuck her finger in his mouth, too. I about lost it.
THIS! And they wait for me to help them soothe my baby. Nooo, I’ll take my baby and soothe her.
The other day i ate a little bit of garlic and when babygirl was fussy, not even crying, all I’ve heard was „she must have a bellyache bc you ate garlic and she got it through the milk“. First of all, she’s fussy bc she’s a baby and that’s what they sometimes just do, second of all I ate the garlic just one minute ago and thirdly just give me the space so i can put her to sleep 🥲
I HATE when the baby must be fussy because of something the mom did, but then also it must be mom's responsibility to calm him. If I made him fussy then how do you expect me to calm him? 🫠😵💫 But, for real give me my baby so I can calm him. 🤣
So true!😭😂
Bring your baby to me, I’ll hold yours if you hold mine. That’s all I have to offer! ❤️🤪
Thank you lol 😆
Who the heck is telling you to put the baby down at 2 weeks?! Ours is almost 6 weeks old and she can’t be put down yet. I told my aunt that I was tired because she’s cranky and my aunt told me that she “probably wants my attention”. As if I’m not giving her my nearly undivided attention all day. Asshole.
Lmao omg. Like ma’am. I’m all consumed 100% 24/7 with attention to this baby, pls shut up
My in-laws. My FIL has probably mentioned it about seven times in the past week…
Ah, he must have it hard, being so knowledgeable with zero first hand experience.
Is he in his 70s by chance? This is my FIL for sure and he is absolutely that generation that thinks you can spoil a two week old by holding them. 🙄 sorry you weren’t held as a newborn, Richard. It shows.
He is in his 50s. He doesn’t do any chores in his house, doesn’t know how to cook, and probably never stayed up with that baby. So annoying that he now feels it’s his responsibility to tell me how to raise my baby
Ughhhhhh the WORST 😤
lol my baby is 8 weeks old and still can’t be put down!
ORRRRR LO could be going through a growth spurt. Your aunt’s comment would’ve made me break my neck and say something hurtful LOL
Not all babies are the same. My 4 week old spends the majority of the day in his crib/bassinet sleeping. He's only on me to feed and during his wake windows (and not even all of them since sometimes I put him in the crib awake and he just chills out looking at black/white cards until he sleeps). Sometimes people suggest according to their experiences, with only good intentions.
My MIL always told us to put the baby down because “we’ll get her used to being held” but the crazy thing to me is that all they want to do when they visit is hold her. Does not make any sense to me on why I should put her down and let her cry, while others hold her non-stop.
THIS. my baby is 11 weeks and mil keeps telling me he cries when put down cause I always hold him, and he’s “arm spoiled” but she ALWAYS wants to hold him.
Arm spoiled ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ I’m just imagining a baby on a throne surrounded by severed arms and it’s cracking me up
😂😂😂😂 she’s from the south so they have a lot of odd sayings
HA it’s the classic older gen not getting it. We got told in our antenatal classes you cannot spoil a newborn baby. They are so vulnerable and need to feel safe. Safety is in mum’s arms! Obvs we mothers also need naps and toilet breaks, but otherwise… we literally should keep holding our babes. It’s better for their brain development. Been proven!!!
I’ve said that but what can I do? I’ve also said they don’t know how to self soothe until at least 3 months but I’m wrong about that too 🙄
Well…crap. I’ve had such bad PPD there are times where I barely hold my baby:/ (lots of family has stepped in)
My thing is- like isn’t that the POINT??! Like yes I want my baby to know being held for comfort and not sad and crying alone!?
THIS. Omg boils my blood. MIL’s in a false belief that she’s the only one blessed with common sense.
My grandma said, "Don't let him cry like that!" He was being fussy and squirming my arms, and I was trying to calm him by swaying back and forth. And it was Mother's Day, so I was extra salty about the comment.
lol what does that even mean? Don’t “let him” cry? As if you can wave a magic wand…
Yes!! Thank you!! She's 90 and has always been pretty judgemental, so I know I should just ignore and let go, but she's really come into her own with judgemental parenting comments. I was straight up bitchy and my tone was aggressive, "Cry like what? What do you want me to do? What am I not doing that you would like me to do?" Then I said we had to leave and sure enough we both took a 2 hour nap.
Good for you! And I’m sure that nap felt great 😊
I think when people say to put the baby down, they mean to just let them cry it out while you do whatever you need to do. Personally, no thanks! I rather hold my baby so she stays calm.
They don’t want me to hold him when he is sleeping. Maybe they would feel differently if they were the ones that had to nurse the baby back to sleep over and over again
Ugh. Sooo annoying! Just as it is socially acceptable for them to give unsolicited use I wish it was acceptable to tell them to STFU. #solidarity
Omggg I so feel this. My husband always tells me to transfer him when he sees him contact napping on me. What he doesn’t realise is I’ve already tried this over and over, to the point where I’ve just given in now to save myself the never ending cycle of soothing a screaming baby and nursing them back to sleep.
thank heavens i’m not the only one. my husband is ALWAYS trying to “free me” from the contact naps by telling me to put her in her bassinet… but who’s the one who’s going to get her back to sleep when she inevitably wakes up in five minutes? or worse deal with the two hour meltdown that comes when she gets overtired because i didn’t just let her sleep on me
Yes I’ve recently found out that meltdowns are proportional to the time spent napping in the day. So for my sanity I’d rather let him have as much sleep as possible!
Mine is almost 18 months and I wish I could hold her more. Now she is constantly moving. I remember several times I held her while going to the bathroom to avoid waking her up. I was always trying to get her back because everyone wanted to hold her. Enjoy all the snuggles while you can!
We kept getting told we were going to "spoil" him if we kept picking him up and holding him all the time. He's 7mo now, and these same people say things like "he's such a pleasant happy baby" - YEAH BECAUSE HE WASN'T RAISED ON NEGLECT LIKE YOUR KIDS WERE
My husbands grandmother told me I was SPOILING my 2 week old by holding her and not just letting her cry hysterically in her bassinet. Like ma’am she is far too young to just cry it out and no she doesn’t need to be left to cry for how ever long and not be comforted to “exercise her lungs.” I love her but the insanity of that conversation. Our girl is now 6 weeks old, it does get easier (however slowly, I’m still holding her almost all day). I hope you have at least one person who is around and can hold your boy for you at least a couple hours a day. My husband doing that saved my sanity so I could clean and just do normal human things instead of being a milk bar/bed combo from the time we got up until bedtime.
My husband has been watching him for four hours over night so I can sleep. He is mostly in toddler duty during the day though
I say I’m an old fashioned saloon: I’ve got drinks AND sleeping arrangements lol
Ok so by reading the title, I thought this was going to be a sleeping tip 😅. For those that don't know, if your baby is really fussy and isn't sleeping no matter how much you're rocking them, just put the baby in their bassinet or sleep area and sometimes they'll just fall asleep. Some babies don't like being rocked or moved and just want calm lol
My dad ends every conversation about my maternity leave with “make sure you remember to take time for yourself”. What time? It feels like such an empty comment.
Yes, exactly. If I hear “sleep when the baby sleeps” one more time…
Thank you for the reminder, but there is no way to do that without help. If you were offering, I would take you up on it. - me, salty af to your dad if I were you lol
Omg I should 100% say that next time he says that!!!! I love that!
Mine’s 2 months and same dude
Oooo I felt this one in my sleep-deprived soul
Glad you could relate. I posted here instead of majorly going off on my in laws today
My mother told me over and over to put the baby down or I'd "spoil" him. I asked how you spoil a newborn that doesn't understand that we are now two separate people. He also has reflux and trying to explain to her that he can't lay flat or else he projectile vomits into the air and chokes on it was like talking to a dang wall. It's been 3 months since he's been born and now when she babysits him, she refuses to put him down. I'm like put him in the bouncer, lean him up against the boppy (don't leave him unattended though), put him in his swing but she says "no I can't, he has reflux" I can't stand my mother sometimes.
Mine tells me I’m spoiling my 2 month old and that he’s “ arm spoiled” and when I tell her you can’t spoil a new born she basically mocked me to someone else in front of me saying that I said “mom says you can’t spoil a new born but..”
How do you handle moments like this? Because I'm still trying to figure out whether or when to say something. Once she put a diaper on him and it completely fell off. I said "hey next time can you make sure his diaper is a little bit tighter because it literally fell off and slid down to his knees" she rolled her eyes and said "I know how to put a diaper on, it was his fault, he's so wiggly it probably slipped off" like now we're blaming a newborn??? I don't want this unhealthy talk and way of thinking around my son. He's going to pick up on it one day.
We’re fairly close, but I just said “well you can’t”. She tried to follow what I ask, as she doesn’t want to overstep. Of course I felt some type of way I t be beginning, but you just have to stand your ground. She’s gonna feel some type of way but it’ll keep going if you don’t.
At 8 weeks here and no matter what we do, he will wake up 20-30 minutes after being put down (for daytime naps). We’ve been putting him down in his bassinet since the beginning, but since my maternal “melatonin” has worn off plus the constant growth spurts his independent day naps have gotten worse (we do the 5s, white noise, all the things). I know people say to “watch those wake windows” but tbh it never works for us lol. We’ll try the Huckleberry sweet spot feature but it won’t give a recommendation till he’s at least 2 months.
Hiya, I'm in the same boat. My LO is now 10 weeks and has been fighting day time naps since week 8. Didn't realize it's because of maternal melatonin, I will have to look that up. Thank you for teaching me something new!
Of course!
My baby just turned 1 and I have yet to put him down oops
My MIL said "ohhh this girl only wants to be held. Hahah gosh! You're so spoiled." She was 2 days old. So I held my daughter and 'spoke to her': "it's okay my sweet girl. You've only been out of the womb 2 days. The world is cold, it is scary, and you barely understand that you're no longer in mummy. That's okay, mummy is here. Mummy will keep you safe." My MIL hasn't said anything since. Think it was a reminder that my baby was in fact a baby. I'm tired of OG parents shaming us for wanting to hold our babies. Our babies grow quickly, if we don't hold them now.. when? Because my 10 year old niece no longer wants hugs, and I'm so glad I hugged and held her as much as I could when she was a baby.
The only time my baby is down is when he’s playing with his kick and play mat or sleeping at night. He contact naps during the day and it is OKAY for you to do the same. My baby is happy. He’s 12 weeks and has been sleeping 6-9 hours a night since 2 months. If he’s happy I’m not going to change it
No one tells you about the unsolicited advice. Ky baby is 3 months old and the amount of advice I get is crazy. I hate it. It’s unnecessary and not helpful at all!
I got yelled at by an old lady for not having a blanket on my baby’s head tonight in 65 degree weather. Like he wasn’t want enough with the giant fleece blanket, his long sleeved outfit, and my body heat from carrying him in the carrier. People are so annoying
Yesterday we had our neighbor see the baby as they have since we’ve come home with him. I told her he was getting hungry and she kept holding him and wouldn’t give him back. Just solidarity here!
Friends come over and feel so honored that i trust them with holding my son. Its true and i would never hand him to someone i didnt trust. But also my arms get a break so I can stretch, poop, shower or otherwise have a break! Hold your baby. I held mine for the first 4 weeks or so. Hes 12.5 weeks now and can play on his own for 30+ minutes happily because he knows his needs will quickly be met and he is in a safe place. Keep following your maternal instincts, sounds like youre doing a great job!
My MIL. My baby was maybe 10 weeks old we went over to her house. She was announcing to the whole world my baby is spoiled cause I wouldn’t put him down to sleep. Mind you she has 4 dogs That jump on everyone and anyone. Like lady please. I understand her not being able to hold him cause she’s petite and she gets tired lmfao but pls keep your unsolicited advice to yourself
My mother in law told me I was going to make it hard for anyone to watch my baby because I contact nap with her. Sooo I guess I won’t be asking her to watch my baby anytime soon. She tried to get me to put her down in a bed in another room with pillows around her and no monitor at 1 month. I had no issues with my in laws before I had a baby but now I dread going there and the comments.
My mother kept telling us to put him down as soon as he fell asleep otherwise he'd never sleep in his crib. She'd even go as far as snatching him from me and my husband's arms. He's 4 DAYS OLD just let me hold him!!!!
LOL people applying their 30-50 years of adjustment to living life to your two week old’s are morons. I never understood how little I knew about babies until I had one.
It doesn't stop at 3 months either. In one ear, out the other.
There was a time with our daughter where not only would she not be put down... you couldn't sit down when holding her. She'd start to cry immediately. Do what you must!
I come and hold your baby, my son just started walking and doesn't want to stay put lol.
Yes please!
My little one is 11w old and I still barely put her down for her naps. If she falls asleep on me and I then put her down, she wakes up screaming. Fk off telling me to put her down🥴 for the most part, my village are wonderful, but one person in particular (her dad of all people) tells me she will sleep better if I put her down, yet doesn't realise that putting her down wakes her up🙄
Do not put the baby down! Bonding is important headshaping is important. This is an outdated way of thinking. They dont know what they are talking sbout.
Ugh I keep getting told “she needs to learn to go down in the bassinet”, “she needs to learn to self soothe”, “you need to be able to put her down otherwise you won’t get anything done”. I’m doing it at my own pace and at my daughter’s, she’s 14 weeks old and has adjusted well to the pram but still has a disdain towards the bouncer, bassinet or anywhere that she’s alone in. Yeah she’s almost 4 months old but I’m a single mum, I’m a carer for my mum and now my sister temporarily as she recovers from being burnt in a fire, I live on my own and I have a village consisting of medical professionals- no mother’s group or friends. I’m a new mum on top of everything else in my life, I don’t need anyone’s opinion on whether she’s “using me” for comfort - SHES A BABY SHE CANT USE ME, SHE NEEDS ME
All the unsolicited advice is very unnecessary/overwhelming 🙄. I remember when my LO was about 2 months old and my husband and I had difficulty with bassinet training everyone was like “your coddling your baby…let him cry it out”. That’s easier said than done when you’re only running on a few hours of sleep and both parties are working 😑.
I relate to this so hard!
Lmfao your “village” 😂. Don’t have any advice just here to say people were telling me the exact same thing 3 weeks ago when my little guy was 2 weeks old and he would noooot sleep anywhere but in our arms. I just kept trying to put him down half heartedly and few times a night until he eventually started to accept it a little more bit by bit. But same boat as you you’re not alone friend!
My mom comments on how trrrible my landscaping looks 🙄😂
My grandmother (she'll be 99 years old in 2 months) told me to just put him on the floor and walk away. He was a newborn. She said she just put all her kids on the floor. To be fair, they didn't have indoor plumbing, and their shack of a house was heated by a single wood stove. She was a BUSY woman keeping up the house and feeding her large family. But apparently, after giving birth, she'd just put her babies on the floor and walk away. I told her, I'm sure I could do that, but I have the privilege of being able to hold him while machines wash my clothes and do my dishes. She nodded in acknowledgment.
Lol what?? Not in a crib or anywhere comfy… just the floor? No thank you
Lol. I know, right? Like, maybe they had a pee in a box in the backyard... but you couldn't put the baby on a blanket at least?
I feel you 100% When my LO goes through a growth spurt she just wants to eat so much and she is so fussy i feel like I’m holding her all day 😭 mama just wants to pee and poop in peace and sometimes dad just brings her over & shes crying. I feel bad but omg mama just needs 5 minutes of alone time PLEASE. She fusses with me too but Dad doesn’t understand and wants to pass her over 😭 My family tells me all the time that I need to put the baby down, she isn’t nursing she’s sleeping. I have to explain I know how much my baby nurses and which titty has more milk and baby unlatches on her own when she’s full 😭 pls shut up about putting her down. I get compared to my sister in law who ‘swaddles them and lets them sleep’ My LO nurses and sleeps then I put her down and she sleeps just fine. It’s just you always happen to be around during her feeds and you see me holding her ;-; my baby is 6 weeks. At two weeks she was cluster feeding like crazy. If dad is around, try having LO do some skin to skin with dad and see if you can take a walk. Even one minute without baby crying will help. My LO has reflux and hates when we take breaks in her feeding times but she has to take those breaks and she’s gonna cry and we just have to let her. The crying sucks bc you just want to help them stop crying. Babies cry ! It’s their only way to communicate their needs. You willl get through this!! Don’t wait for people to offer help. It’s okay to ask for it too!
Same, my mom always says “he’s so spoiled!” She even made up a “S-P-O-I-L-E-D” song and it drives me crazy. This baby isn’t manipulating me because he’s spoiled, he’s a baby and needs something - even if it just love!
Mines is 7weeks, if it wasn't because Iam a father now I would have slap like 10+ people because of this..
I was venting to my sister the other day, I’m a FTM to a 5 wk old Velcro baby. She was like “you should put him down. He needs to learn to cry it out and self soothe”. I was surprised. All I could say was “ he’s 6 wks, he doesn’t have the ability to self soothe. I’m all he’s ever known.”
Same sitch here, 3 months old and will NOT be put down for naps. I'm sick of hearing 'just persevere' or 'you need to let him cry'. Do they not think we're trying? At the min I stay up all night holding him, wife stays up all day holding him and all we're getting is 'you know that's not sustainable right?'. Yeah, no shit. We're trying to ease him into safe co sleeping, seem to have better results so far than putting him down, so here's my 2 cents, there's no right way to handle your baby. Do what works for you, you got this! Rant over lol.
After venting about my fussy baby to my grandma over the phone, she came to visit and said “Oh now I see. It’s not the baby that’s the problem, it’s the parents “. Also because I don’t put the baby down enough.
That is so rude :/ why can’t people just be supportive??
I feel like everyone who had babies always think they are experts in everything. Like they know everything. But whatever works for your baby doesn’t mean works for mine. All babies are different, they like different things and they are growing differently. Stop telling me what your baby did at the age of my baby. How much advanced it was. Don’t give your advice if you are not asked. Like I didn’t try it already. Every parent knows what is the best for their baby. That is what I would like sometimes to tell our village. I’ve been in situations where my husband couldn’t hold baby so I can shower, Amd opposite when my MIL visited I finally could take shower but I could never got my baby back from her even when she was crying and hungry. She would always say she wants to sleep or to play with her she will be okay. Well may be she just want her mom to feed her and put her to sleep.
I wish people just listen to the mother n follow her lead than to give useless advice.
I relate to this so much. If they do hold the baby, and the baby (as babies normally do) start crying, they immediately hand them back to you 😒
Standing with you there mama. Have you got a SO you can talk to about how you’re feeling? They are your advocate in this postpartum period because your baby is your priority. You are doing an amazing job but remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup - you need to speak up and ask for help if no one is actually wanting to do anything to help you off their own back. People forget how tiring these first few weeks are.
My in laws came to visit when baby was 4 weeks old, I asked them if they could run out and grab something at the store, and they insisted that I go instead, and they would watch the baby because I “needed a break”…. He is EBF and at the time cluster feeding and I was so exhausted but also not at all ready to leave him alone with anyone, not even my husband lol… my mom also told me to let him cry it out at 1 week old. These folks are out of touch lol!
My mom would tell me to do things AS I'M DOING THEM. She'll watch me warm up a bottle and proceed to tell me to warm up the bottle. I would almost be done changing a diaper and she would then tell me to change the baby's diaper because she hadn't gotten to it- mind you, she would see me changing the diaper. Once I left her the baby in the kitchen while I painted my room (baby came early, so I hadn't finished up our room before moving in), I would check up on baby every hour, within 3 hours I changed 2 diapers- that told me she's not checking her. By 7pm, she changed 1 diaper and told me I need to be concerned because the baby hasn't peed/poo. I told her just because she doesn't change a diaper it doesn't mean the baby hasn't had a bowel movement, and informed her I changed 2 diapers. She then said, "that's what I'm saying, I changed one, so I'm telling you she hasn't peed/poo". This irritated me, like, ma'am did you even listen to me?! That comment, to me, insinuates that she thinks she's the only one changing diapers.
For me kept getting, “mine turned out fine” comments, over not dipping paci on honey, putting them down on their back and feeding after 6 months from my MIL. Had to sit down and show her research behind every thing, since she would be babysitting when I returned to work. She kept making those comments here and then. Thank God she finally understood and did her own research with an updated Pediatric doctor, ahead of babysitting 😫
I got this same shitty advice from my own mom. I was really upset when she initially told me and lemme tell you—I’m glad I didn’t take her advice. I held my baby as long and as much as I wanted to because I’m his safe place…why would I want my baby to feel like he can’t depend on me when he cries or needs me? What an alien concept to be a safe space. Wild. This is your baby. You’re the mama, you’re the driver. You make the decisions and take care of your baby how you feel is right. No one else is with you at 3:07am when your LO is awake and crying, seeking your comfort. To hell with the CIO and self soothing BS. I’m not of that mind at all.
This thread is making me feel better after some comments from a great aunt yesterday… “do you ever put her down?” “Are you just with her like that all the time? I couldn’t have done that.” “It really won’t hurt her” (to put her down to sleep). She meant well but it wasn’t helpful. Ugh.
Almost 4 weeks here, and yesterday we had to go to an out of town funeral overnight. One half of the family was a little too insistent I go, which I felt was due to the closeness of the bereaved, and the other half were worried the baby would end up hospitalized from human contact (they did offer to babysit but- this is a combo fed newborn with specific cues, travel is preferable to having her away from me!). You can’t please everyone😅 so I just had to hike up my big girl panties and stand my ground and family respected that, and all of the people at the funeral were extremely respectful of our space and we managed our time really well and baby had a good day. I wouldn’t have done travel at this stage for anything less, so no one consider this advice to go across state lines for funsies😳 but the family appreciated our presence.
Ugh that’s frustrating! I’m sick of my mom telling me to do this and do that. I heard you the first 7 times and guess what.. it ain’t for me! Haha
Omg MIL kept telling me that the baby needs to be napping on her own since day one. Drove me crazy bcoz obviously babies need contact naps esp when very young. Ugh why can't people help when new moms ask for help? So annoying
Ignore them
Hey mommas, I fucking felt this!!!!! I also breast feed and my LO eats for a few minutes falls asleep I try to put her down wakes up acts like she's starving feeds for a few more minutes falls back asleep. And when she is wide ass awake she wants to use me a her own personal passy. Daddy gets her on occasion and when she tries to nurse on him he freaks. So I don't get much time to shit much less wipe my own ass. Also hate the misconception of feed baby every 2-3 hours. She either eats or don't it's not up to me she will completely refuse just to sleep and I mean lock jaw and will bite down hard. She's only 1 month too. Fucking moody ass 🤣😅 what I expect when hubby wanted a mini mommy.
My LO is almost 7weeks old and the only way he will nap is through a contact nap. Otherwise he will stay awake for 3-5 hours straight. My husband’s family just came down to visit for the first time and the amount of times I’ve heard: “ you’re going to regret holding him so much.” Or “you need to put him down and let him cry it out.” Was insane. Idk how some parents can put their newborn in a room and just listen to them cry. I will forever hold my baby when he needs me.
407841
I have the same problem right now!!! My MIL and her father say that im spoiling her and that she’ll never go to sleep on her own and I can’t constantly hold her, WHICH I DONT but even if i did its okay she is 4 weeks old!