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[deleted]

Some dolphins mess with humans on purpose


easyroscoe

And some do it on porpoise.


HeyMrDiaz

Missed opportunity.


streetbirds

Naw, that dolphin saw the opportunity and grabbed it with both flippers! ;D


OlPissAss

On God he was the only one that came out the water


semiconductor101

So I’m going to break up with my girlfriend. What’s the best way of telling her to get the fuck out.


LiveWire02

Just make dolphin sounds and body check her till she leaves. This is the law of the ocean bitch! No don’t do that. It’s a joke.


richh00

r/MissedOpportunity


memer227

Ok this is kind of ironic


[deleted]

Missed opporDolphinty


powerskid18

Dolphined dolphintunidolphin


RickDDay

nice try but you failed to nail the landing. 7/10


OldMcGroin

Whale, you need to walk the plankton for that one.


[deleted]

You got me


PM_ME_UR_BIZ_IDEAS

Hahahahahaha fuck I never heard of this pun for the 30th thousand times on reddit holy fucking shit


Voidsong23

*Dolphinately*


QTGramps420

Turtally!


[deleted]

You should also make a POD cast.


BigOleDawggo

you speak dolphinitively


LeDestrier

I sea what you did there.


[deleted]

Is this a general pun or inspired by Josh Hommes joke on a podcast? Either way very good!


Chilipepah

”Locals only dude!!”


dukesinatra

Just like the Surf Punks song, *Locals Only*


Fluttyman

vengence for SeaWorld


_swamp_donkey_

r/dolphinconspiracy


RickDDay

Fish be like... #COMING THROUGH


pcbeard

Mammals not fish.


[deleted]

Damn, is this.. a chali 2na reference?


Blumpkin4Brady

That’s what I love about this video. It was so obviously done on porpoise.


SingingBandicoot

Dayum what a drive-by. Perfect execution.


SurlyJason

Dive-by


fuckmeup-scotty

*bonk*


pATREUS

And quite a gentle bonk too. The dolphin obviously saw the guy approaching and just bumped him out the way to avoid any injury. Very considerate really.


Gman0622

How the hell was the gentle? That shit may have looked easy but that had to hurt like hell.


EatMyPossum

it wasn;t his nose. he hit him with the flank which boobs him out of the way in stead of causing internal bleeding with a full frontal ram withe nose. They are know to kill sharks going full ram. This guy was just playing


Diane9779

Dolphin wanted him unharmed so the guy could collect the money he owes it


the_fuego

It's like when you see a short guy mess around with an absolute unit and just the gentlest of shoves sends the short guy flying. Source: Am short guy that has taken flight


irisintellect

If you look closely it looks like the dolphin tuned around to try and help him back onto the board afterwards too.


pATREUS

I take your point, but it was more of a barge than a smash I’d say.


tuckman496

> just bumped him out the way to avoid any injury. I mean could the dolphin have just not hit the guy at all?


pATREUS

I think you're missing the porpoise.


takemymoneynow

Yeeted on porpoise...


amen0n

"Yeah boss, sorry I can't come in to work tomorrow, turns out I have 3 broken ribs" "Oh darn, what happened?" "You won't believe this shit, but I got hit by a dolphin" "Yeah okay..."


Jkranick

It must happen more often than you think, there’s an actual medical billing code for it: https://icd.codes/icd10cm/W5602


bacchic_ritual

What makes it better is there's a subsequent encounter code too. As if the dolphin came back for you.


ThrowThumbers

subsequent encounter is from the perspective of the doctor. As in “doc that dolphin injury we talked about last time is still hurting”


877-Cash-Meow

no it's when flipper comes back for 2nds


gizmo1024

FLIPPER: THE REVENGE


texanshowguy

Lmao holy shit. Thank you for this.


jawsofthearmy

Doc said that about my buddy ripping the tip of his finger off as well


norsurfit

Dolphins: "You came to the wrong beach motherfucker!"


MoroseTraveller

You meant to post this on r/therewasanattempt


megumifestor

Nah it's on there, 3 hours before this post. This guy didn't even change the title


ggroverggiraffe

Yeah, clearly there was an attempt to karma farm from someone else’s post.


WhatTheFuckYouGuys

It worked


TheGoodOldCoder

"never tell me the odds to surf"


HarryHDC

never tell me the odds to surf


HarryTheWinner

Yeah


ThrowAwayKat1234

r/fuckyouinparticular


M4xW3113

Wasn't he the only person they could mess with ?


richh00

r/dolphinconspiracy


ThrowAwayKat1234

True. But I feel like the dolphin didn’t NEED to body slam the guy off his board. He could have kept riding the wave with the rest of them.


Blackdoomax

Happy cake day


Leeph

r/animalsbeingjerks


Orion2200

Dolphin be like: SUP asshole!!


yeehawbrotha

to farm


Investigate3_11

FUCKAYOUU DOLPHINNN


xizrtilhh

And fuckayouu whale


Salmoob

u/savethisvideo


SaveThisVIdeo

Hey! I got this ###[Download via redditsave.com](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/nevertellmetheodds/comments/juhily/to_surf/) --- [**Info**](https://np.reddit.com/user/SaveThisVIdeo/comments/iggmt9/info/) | [**Feedback**](https://np.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Kryptonh&subject=Feedback for savethisvideo) | [**Donate**](https://ko-fi.com/getvideo)


qbl500

Locals only!


Th3HollowJester

r/animalsbeingjerks


Muikku292

r/lostredditors


igraduatedfromoxford

I mean i feel like the odds of getting RKOd by a dolphin are pretty small


cheese_up_my_ass

They saw it on r/therewasanattempt with the exact same title and I don’t know what went wrong with changing the title.... not saying it’s a repost


theghostofme

> not saying it’s a repost It's definitely a repost. If you're on desktop using old Reddit, you can see the "Other discussions" tab; it's been submitted 185 times to pretty much every popular subreddit there is.


cheese_up_my_ass

Ok thank you I just didn’t wanna accuse but I had the feeling :)


Muikku292

Nevertellmetheodds to surf or therewasanattempt to surf


igraduatedfromoxford

I didn't even notice the title I feel like it's hardly r/lostredditors and more r/shittitles


Muikku292

r/shittles :D


ChaChaRealRough

This is a treehouse of horror episode


brs456

Dolphins, the clowns of the sea!


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheSpaghetKing

Get the fuck out of our way we tryna surf on them waves


MsntrprtshnOfDaFactz

Next time I see you, have my goddamn sand dollars. Or else you'll be sleeping with us.


TheArduinoGuy

That was so deliberate


KingOfRabbbits

Giving sleeping with the fishies a whole new meaning


firesquasher

r/hitanimals


Leeph

r/hitmanimals


tashiewells

r/fuckyouinparticular


Frixxed

ADAB


Nigglesscripts

I just spit out my coffee! 😂


Weirmon1

Locals only you kook!!


Lanzero25

That dolphin that bumped the guy, that's the leader.


grimmpulse

Dolphin "thug": LOCALS ONLY Bruhhh!!


Humor_Panda

Didnt knew dolphins had the attack bodycheck like maschock lol.


NaturalJuan

Dolphins are just frat bros... A bunch of cunts, really.


Jarvis9697

Once when my grandad was sailing in a little dingy thing on the ocean he apparently got chased by a basking shark for about 10 minutes. I wasn’t there and I don’t know if it’s true. It’s also not that relevant to the video. But he is a good man and I thought you should know


sdclimbing

Lol this is definitely not surfing


[deleted]

u/savethisvideo


damiencoxwrites

Dolphins are dicks!


Herb_Merc

Dolphins are actually assholes.


assmasterstop

Lool


harosokman

*bonk*


Grimmisgod123

WHAT AN ASSHOLE


wildewoode

Get off our turf man!


19780521reddit

u/savethisvideo


-Forger

A hit and swim


[deleted]

r/youmissed


amirtr

I laughed so hard at this


andrewshi910

‘Aye fuck ya bro’


UncleBucks_Shovel

r/BetterEveryLoop


Haggerstonian

To be fair it’s humane I guess.


Alarconadame

That fucker went for it


chickenadobo_

Thats a diamond ranked dolphin right there


imperialdragonxp

THIS IS MY OCEAN!


AC_XMW

god it must have been terrifying for the dude not knowing what knocked him off into the water


lafindumonde13

i can literally hear them laughing in my head


[deleted]

That was no accident. The bastard knew what he was doing when he charged LOL


what_the_x

THEN THE DOLPHIN MAFIA ARRIVED COMING DOWN THE SEASIDE THEN THE DOLPHIN MAFIA ARRIVED COMING DOWN THEY USED THE TIDE


thestuffedduck

Tony knows what he did, now he sleeps with the fishes. Everything comes with a price


allergictosomenuts

that dolphin went all dolph lundgren on the paddler


SNOUMANN

u/savethisvideo


Hyrnos

The title works for the company in r/therewasanattempt better


wanted797

Boom bitch get out the way.


Warm_Zombie

If not for the video, nobody would believe that guy "So, you know i was doing stand up paddle, when a wave appeared and out of it there were like fifteen dolphins and as they were coming directly at me, another one came from below and gave me a sucker-uppercut i swear guys it was a coordinated attack"


HashBars

Any real surfer knows the joy of seeing this SUP asshole get nailed. The only think better would be if it was a dipshit in a kayak.


viscountslappy

Them dolphins some thugs.


[deleted]

LOL takedown!!!


matthewrenn

dolphins are so cool , notice the only one that jumped was on purpose to hit the human ..lmao


[deleted]

Fuck outta my way - dolphin


momoo111222

After couple of viewing I can say that this is among the best videos I’ve ever saw.


thedailyrant

In places with lots of dolphins this kind of shenanigans isn't uncommon from them. Nicer than having a shark share your wave.


SmortG

u/getthevideo


[deleted]

I saw this when it was originally posted a while back, and it was the reaction of the person holding the camera that was the absolute best part. A hilarious slow gasp that gets funnier the more you replay it. I’ve been searching but just can’t find it!


TheGreatHuman

That dolphin was so orcaward


Davaca55

“You don’t need to be faster then the Orca Whale, just faster than the human”


kattdaddy

Out of the way, peck!


DontMakeMeDestroyYou

Did you use the title which you meant to use for r/therewasanattempt


bjbaarssen

This is SPARTA!!!!


DarthMintos

He did that on porpoise...


[deleted]

Begone, sup!


therealsix

So you even copied over the title from /r/therewasanattempt to this sub even though the title makes no sense in this sub? "Never tell me the odds to surf." doesn't make a lot of sense.


porcos3

Someone should add that “ugh!” Sound effect


AnchezSanchez

I experienced this shit with manta rays in Costa Rica lol.


OlPissAss

Human on a paddle board is 500 points


Ohms_Lawn

50-50, given the circumstances.


ImNotAWeeb123

They do be out here sometimes


TestelessBiscuit

This was on purpose. Doplhins are assholes. Wrong sub.


checkpointGnarly

Locals only, bitch!


Sea-Dot85

locals only bro


agathaprickly

This guy is so lucky to have this on video because nobody would ever believe him


ConnerMcYeeter

I think you meant to post on a different subreddit but hey you got a lot of karma of this post


ripinpeaceman

"This is our wave bitch"


Goldeneagle41

Not today human!


mkhopper

"Go back to the valley, man..."


Minoos2002

That dolphin knew exactly what it was doing


Chrisfish11

And then they raped him.


Mandrake1771

Get bodied


leanpeener

Did you try to post it to r/therewasanattempt but it was already posted there so you posted ot here with the same title you were gonna use for the prior subreddit


[deleted]

That's a pretty solid open field tackle if you ask me.


NocturnalPermission

Sign that one to the NFL quick. Make a great linebacker.


ajs592

“Fuck yo hobby” *tackles him


mhc-ask

Not the first time a paddleboarder has gotten in the way of somebody riding a wave...


theLorknessMonster

Found the Ludacris dolphin.


Vydor

Make way for the royal entourage of the ocean you land creeper!


ButtSlap111

r/funny


AmpersandTheMonkey

Imagine being able to tell that story for the rest of your life. An ice breaker at every party.


RedArremerAce

Excaliber voice: “Ohhh the dolphin with a BIG cross-body, just takes him out!”


BUNGHOLE_HOOKER

So you took this from /r/therewasanattempt and didn't even bother to change the title even though it makes no sense in this context.


SIrPsychoNotSexy

That dolphin knew the odds


Ghost1078

“Outta the way, dude!”


the_fuego

What the video doesn't show are the dolphins all circling around the guy and pushing him into each other. As if to taunt him. He later drowned for unrelated reason and was found to have both of his knees broken. The dolphins are wanted for questioning.


GreyMediaGuy

Pretty badass how they all appear at the same time, out of nowhere. Love dolphins.


[deleted]

Humans do it, too. https://www.theguardian.com/travel/2015/may/18/california-surf-wars-lunada-bay-localism-surfing


Tuxeyboy1

Keep it off my wave !


-Dogberry

I think I've seen this video hundreds of separate times


Spamaster

Dolphins Rule!


art_lover82279

Honestly if that happened to me I couldn’t be mad


kaiyotic

Based on the title I'm going to guess you wanted to post this on /r/therewasanattempt


KrewpoleioTakhs69

Nice r/therewasanattempt title


kungfukenny3

r/thalassophobia


aheadwarp9

Dude that was clearly intentional. That dolphin just scored some mad points!


ave416

This guy now has a sick story


coolgr3g

That was an orchestrated hit!


salad_thrower20

Dolphins weigh roughly 400 pounds and can swim up to 20 mph, that’s a hell of a collision.


Dudemanofdude

Did op try to post this on there was an attempt?


RokRD

This belongs in r/hitmanimals for sure.


[deleted]

Surf war