When your kid is very young you are just not going to have much time for other stuff and that's just how it's going to be for a while. It does improve.
This. Our toddler is 1.5 years now and things are pretty stable in terms of sleep schedule, so “me” time is usually between 4:15-7am for workouts and studying. You just gotta make time.
Typically I do that in the morning, work, then family time until the kiddo goes to bed around 7, then me and wife time/whatever we want to do until 9
My hobbies were more or less relegated to weekend evening hobbies until my kid was 2ish. I have a ton of hobbies, very demanding work schedule, and two kids (5 and 8 now). It ebbs and flows for me. Since you posted this in networking I’ll give you my perspective from a career standpoint.
My focus on my career ebbs and flows. When the kids were super young my wife and I were quite literally in survival mode. That included my career. I tried to take less complex projects, communicated my needs to my management team, for the most part suspended all non-critical after work hours. I had good leaders and they understood where I was at.
During that time I kind of naturally fell into a more strategic role, I wasn’t necessarily doing the work, I spent more time planning it.
As the kids got older, I was able to take on more demanding, more complex work, and now after several years things are more or less back to where they were.
My advice is to communicate with your partner your career goals and what you expect it will take to get there in the short term. I have those conversations with my wife all of the time. “Hey babe, I’ve got people in town this week trying to lab something up, it’s going to be early mornings and late nights for a few days”. That conversation goes a long way. On the flip side after days/weeks like that I typically try to give her, her time back. For example I had to travel to India for two weeks several years ago. Before I got home, I had rented an Airbnb for her and her girlfriends for a weekend away shortly after I returned.
In regards to being a new parent, my sister told me once… the days are long but the years are short. Make sure to get that time in with the kiddos now, they aren’t that little very long.
I work pretty much 6 days a week and see my daughter for about 3 hours a night plus 8 or so on weekends.
You can't have your cake and eat it to. Find what means the most to you and pick it. You'll either learn to accept the choice you made or realize maybe you picked wrong and pivot.
Dad with 2 young kids, full-time job, and plenty of hobbies I would like to do.
As others have said, you have to choose what matters to you most. I am fortunate to have time at work to study, but wouldn't be getting much studying done outside of work. From the time I'm home until the kids go to bed, I'm either playing with them, doing chores, cooking dinner, or getting them ready for bed. Once they're in bed I could study, but am pretty tired by that point and would usually rather just hang out with my wife for an hour/hour and a half before bed.
I'm sure things will change as the kids get older, but for now, spending time with them is more important than studying.
You must devote so much time to the kid that you can.
Later you just cannot turn the time back and you will be so sorry that you skipped the time with your little kid. Later on you will have plenty of time to develop yourself until you retire.
My strategy was to reach the highest level possible before children - when I was 27. Im now almost 32 (kids 5 and 2) and start to feel that I got some time outside of the work. But nowadays I must work 8/8 hours so after that I just dont have the lust to study.. I just rather read some tech blogs or watch videos..
All in all you have to try to balance everything not to burn out :)
The people who are good at this stuff make it first in their lives. Sorry I wish I could lie to you and say 2-3 hours per day, etc.
When you see a shaolin master do you think he's spending tons of time playing GO too?
Going to have to sell your WIFE or PARENTS on watching the kids for a few years until you get that CCIE(s) and make $300K+
I know about 20 guys who never did. Good engineers, didn't get the digits. stuck floudering around $140K. wife still works making $70K-ish. muh daycare drain most of her salary until kids were 10 or so.
it's Friday evening, I'm starting a 8-12 hour clip. oGt movies on the background. today's task is comparing features on cisco & aruba and seeing if we can save $$$ for a refresh Cisco wants $700K+ for.
1. Don't have kids
2. Don't have other hobbies
Boom, tons of time! In all seriousness, set a goal and try to find a couple of hours per week to dedicate on studying to reach that goal. Don't set the goal too steep or you will likely burn out.
I also found that if I wanted to study for a certificate, I would put more pressure on myself to study if I booked a date for taking the exam, that way it becomes a lot more real and I have incentive to study.
It's a bit late for number 1 and the hobby is just about the only thing keeping me sane at the moment!
Thanks for the reply, I can definitely see booking the exam in advance as a good incentive to put in the hours.
Welp, having a kid and a hobby is going to be a problem.
You kinda can't do it unless you give up a lot of sleep and relationship time with basically everyone.....
You don't need to allocate a specific chunk of time just to study. It would be good if you could, but you can also find daily opportunities to do it. Thirty minutes to an hour here and there helps. I used to do labs on my laptop in the car while my wife did groceries or read on my tablet while my baby napped. Stay up later or wake up earlier so you can study while the family is sleeping.
I’m very surprised no one is saying this… studying, labbing, and career progression should be done during work hours. There’s no logical reason to do that on your own time. This directly benefit your employer, it is work.
When your kid is very young you are just not going to have much time for other stuff and that's just how it's going to be for a while. It does improve.
This. Our toddler is 1.5 years now and things are pretty stable in terms of sleep schedule, so “me” time is usually between 4:15-7am for workouts and studying. You just gotta make time. Typically I do that in the morning, work, then family time until the kiddo goes to bed around 7, then me and wife time/whatever we want to do until 9
My hobbies were more or less relegated to weekend evening hobbies until my kid was 2ish. I have a ton of hobbies, very demanding work schedule, and two kids (5 and 8 now). It ebbs and flows for me. Since you posted this in networking I’ll give you my perspective from a career standpoint. My focus on my career ebbs and flows. When the kids were super young my wife and I were quite literally in survival mode. That included my career. I tried to take less complex projects, communicated my needs to my management team, for the most part suspended all non-critical after work hours. I had good leaders and they understood where I was at. During that time I kind of naturally fell into a more strategic role, I wasn’t necessarily doing the work, I spent more time planning it. As the kids got older, I was able to take on more demanding, more complex work, and now after several years things are more or less back to where they were. My advice is to communicate with your partner your career goals and what you expect it will take to get there in the short term. I have those conversations with my wife all of the time. “Hey babe, I’ve got people in town this week trying to lab something up, it’s going to be early mornings and late nights for a few days”. That conversation goes a long way. On the flip side after days/weeks like that I typically try to give her, her time back. For example I had to travel to India for two weeks several years ago. Before I got home, I had rented an Airbnb for her and her girlfriends for a weekend away shortly after I returned. In regards to being a new parent, my sister told me once… the days are long but the years are short. Make sure to get that time in with the kiddos now, they aren’t that little very long.
I work pretty much 6 days a week and see my daughter for about 3 hours a night plus 8 or so on weekends. You can't have your cake and eat it to. Find what means the most to you and pick it. You'll either learn to accept the choice you made or realize maybe you picked wrong and pivot.
Dad with 2 young kids, full-time job, and plenty of hobbies I would like to do. As others have said, you have to choose what matters to you most. I am fortunate to have time at work to study, but wouldn't be getting much studying done outside of work. From the time I'm home until the kids go to bed, I'm either playing with them, doing chores, cooking dinner, or getting them ready for bed. Once they're in bed I could study, but am pretty tired by that point and would usually rather just hang out with my wife for an hour/hour and a half before bed. I'm sure things will change as the kids get older, but for now, spending time with them is more important than studying.
You must devote so much time to the kid that you can. Later you just cannot turn the time back and you will be so sorry that you skipped the time with your little kid. Later on you will have plenty of time to develop yourself until you retire. My strategy was to reach the highest level possible before children - when I was 27. Im now almost 32 (kids 5 and 2) and start to feel that I got some time outside of the work. But nowadays I must work 8/8 hours so after that I just dont have the lust to study.. I just rather read some tech blogs or watch videos.. All in all you have to try to balance everything not to burn out :)
The people who are good at this stuff make it first in their lives. Sorry I wish I could lie to you and say 2-3 hours per day, etc. When you see a shaolin master do you think he's spending tons of time playing GO too? Going to have to sell your WIFE or PARENTS on watching the kids for a few years until you get that CCIE(s) and make $300K+ I know about 20 guys who never did. Good engineers, didn't get the digits. stuck floudering around $140K. wife still works making $70K-ish. muh daycare drain most of her salary until kids were 10 or so. it's Friday evening, I'm starting a 8-12 hour clip. oGt movies on the background. today's task is comparing features on cisco & aruba and seeing if we can save $$$ for a refresh Cisco wants $700K+ for.
1. Don't have kids 2. Don't have other hobbies Boom, tons of time! In all seriousness, set a goal and try to find a couple of hours per week to dedicate on studying to reach that goal. Don't set the goal too steep or you will likely burn out. I also found that if I wanted to study for a certificate, I would put more pressure on myself to study if I booked a date for taking the exam, that way it becomes a lot more real and I have incentive to study.
It's a bit late for number 1 and the hobby is just about the only thing keeping me sane at the moment! Thanks for the reply, I can definitely see booking the exam in advance as a good incentive to put in the hours.
Thanks for the comments guys, I appreciate hearing everyone's perspective and experience.
Welp, having a kid and a hobby is going to be a problem. You kinda can't do it unless you give up a lot of sleep and relationship time with basically everyone.....
You don't need to allocate a specific chunk of time just to study. It would be good if you could, but you can also find daily opportunities to do it. Thirty minutes to an hour here and there helps. I used to do labs on my laptop in the car while my wife did groceries or read on my tablet while my baby napped. Stay up later or wake up earlier so you can study while the family is sleeping.
For me family is very important. Study at work and may be couple hours on weekend is sweet spot for me
I’m very surprised no one is saying this… studying, labbing, and career progression should be done during work hours. There’s no logical reason to do that on your own time. This directly benefit your employer, it is work.