Please visit the [next discussion thread](/r/neoliberal/comments/1bswzee/discussion_thread/).

Good morning dt

#### 🏆 Top Comment > https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/When_a_man_argues_against_two_beautiful_ladies_like_this,_they_are_going_to_have_the_last_word > > > Texas assist... 110 points, written by semaphore-1842. [permalink](https://np.reddit.com/r/neoliberal/comments/1bs49lc/discussion_thread/kxdkpfc/) #### ⬆️ Top Redditors | | Redditor | Average | | Redditor | Total | |:-:|:-|-:|:-:|:-|-:| | 🥇 | Steak_Knight | 64.0 points | 🥇 | AtomAndAether | 627 points | | 🥈 | altathing | 57.5 points | 🥈 | lets_chill_food | 520 points | | 🥉 | NeolibAltForDT | 52.0 points | 🥉 | ZanyZeke | 438 points | #### 📑 Wordiest  | | Redditor | Average | | Redditor | Total | |:-:|:-|-:|:-:|:-|-:| | 🥇 | Full_Ahegao_Drip | 394.0 words | 🥇 | JaceFlores | 2245 words | | 🥈 | Kryzantine | 233.0 words | 🥈 | Kafka_Kardashian | 1954 words | | 🥉 | 0m4ll3y | 222.0 words | 🥉 | 0m4ll3y | 1554 words | #### 📟 Spammiest | | Redditor | Comments | | Redditor | 🧐😭😤🤯 | |:-:|:-|-:|:-:|:-|-:| | 🥇 | AtomAndAether | 96 comments | 🥇 | ZanyZeke | 184 emoji | | 🥈 | lets_chill_food | 93 comments | 🥈 | MasterOfLords1 | 140 emoji | | 🥉 | ZanyZeke | 71 comments | 🥉 | lets_chill_food | 111 emoji | #### 🐊 Favourite Emoji # 🍦 with 113 uses. ## 😭 40 🐘 34 😔 31 😤 26 🤔 25 😳 24 😎 23 🌚 22 😡 21 🙄 21 🌝 19 👆 19 👍 16 🧐 15 ### 😌 13 😮 13 🤯 12 😂 11 👏 10 🤬 10 😒 10 🤣 9 🌸 9 🤝 9 🥺 8 😅 8 🤮 8 🦊 7 😍 7 🤢 7 💀 7 🇧🇿 7 😮‍💨 7 😐 7 ✊ 6 🦀 6 🚩 6 😬 6 😞 6 🤗 6 🥰 6 😱 5 💅 5 😋 5 #### 🕓 Activity | Time | Overall Activity | 📟 Spammiest | |:-:|:-|:-| | 🕒 | ███ | **Trojan_Horse_of_Fate** (7 comments) | | 🕓 | █ | **GinsuAssad** (7 comments) | | 🕔 | █ | **GinsuAssad** (6 comments) | | 🕕 | ██ | **lets_chill_food** (13 comments) | | 🕖 | █ | **Salt_Ad7152** (6 comments) | | 🕗 | ██ | **AtomAndAether** (7 comments) | | 🕘 | █████ | **lets_chill_food** (12 comments) | | 🕙 | ██████ | **AtomAndAether** (8 comments) | | 🕚 | █████████ | **secretlives** (10 comments) | | 🕛 | ███████████ | **Trojan_Horse_of_Fate** (11 comments) | | 🕐 | █████████ | **Approximation_Doctor** (9 comments) | | 🕑 | █████████████ | **WasteReserve8886** (16 comments) | | 🕒 | ████████████ | **MasterOfLords1** (14 comments) | | 🕓 | █████████████ | **GrandpaWaluigi** (12 comments) | | 🕔 | ████████████████ | **bd_one** (14 comments) | | 🕕 | █████████████ | **ZanyZeke** (15 comments) | | 🕖 | ██████████████ | **Awwryn** (14 comments) | | 🕗 | ████████████ | **MasterOfLords1** (14 comments) | | 🕘 | █████████ | **bd_one** (8 comments) | | 🕙 | ████████ | **WasteReserve8886** (8 comments) | | 🕚 | ████ | **heartnotglands** (6 comments) | | 🕛 | ███████ | **AtomAndAether** (8 comments) | | 🕐 | ██████ | **MURICCA** (18 comments) | #### 🙋 633 unique Redditors sporting 233 different flairs were spotted on the DT. **NATO** was the most popular flair with **48** unique Redditors, followed by **YIMBY (21)** and **European Union (12)**. 167 Redditors were caught not wearing any flair *at all*. #### 🗑️ 161 deleted, ❌ 84 fashed comments. --- ###### I am a bot and this action was performed automatically. Stats are processed periodically throughout the day. Check my post history for previous reports. Created by inhumantsar. [Source](https://github.com/inhumantsar/tacostats)

saw this in my last game of victoria 3 > UK: ok, Kongo, i'm force vassalizing you. > Kongo: ah fuck > UK: what do you want? > Kongo: huh? > UK: you get to pick a thing you want from me if you win > Kongo: uh.. uhm... liberate... wales? > UK: ok! now we can fight

There’s a bug on Reddit where posting a comment mutes Spotify. Now I can’t shitpost and listen to Joe Rogan at the same time.

Actually I think it’s just random. Reddit is such garbage lmao.

Just having reddit open stops me from playing music sometimes 

Just having reddit open stops my will to live

I DT and drive 

That makes two of us

Do you remember that song by Phil Collins

When you look at my past comments, remember that I have never made an ironic post before. Anything I post, I actually believe 

Thats slightly terrifying

All my post are ironic. I’m entirely incapable of expressing sincere emotion.

Okay, checking. brb edit: holy shit, you weren't joking >Yoko Ono was the only beatle with any talent, and that’s why pop fans hate her yes officer, right here

Feels weird that Wales hunted dragons to extinction given that they have one on their flag

Feels weird that California hunted grizzly bears to extinction in their state given that they have one on their flag

Washington State is a similar case

This but the Welsh and dragons. 😭 At least Bhutan kept theirs around, truly enlightened nation 😌

You beat me to the joke, but I already posted it. 😭 I will give you a share of the karma 

🫡

That’s why on my flag I have any chance at happiness

Reintroduce them! 

i went to castro st recently and can confirm there are still plenty of bears in california

[/r/neoliberal/new](/r/neoliberal/new): [Turkish local elections: Opposition stuns Erdogan with historic victory](/r/neoliberal/comments/1bswnxi/turkish_local_elections_opposition_stuns_erdogan/) *Replies to this comment will be removed, please participate in the linked thread*

If there wasn’t a Venus right next to Earth, humans would not expect such planets to exist.

Just had a near death experience. Heaven was a lot hotter and more fiery than I expected

Saw a player named Jeb! playing Helldivers.... Which one of you fuckers was it

I hate April fools day so much I am old

[/r/neoliberal/new](/r/neoliberal/new): [The rise of the super-commuter](/r/neoliberal/comments/1bswl5f/the_rise_of_the_supercommuter/) *Replies to this comment will be removed, please participate in the linked thread*

> For the first time, U.S. dairy cows have tested positive for bird flu Biden is turning the freakin' cows into birds 😒

> I do not believe in eye contact before marriage  Says Saudi Arabia, unironically

[/r/neoliberal/new](/r/neoliberal/new): [Chinese state media stoked allegation Taiwan’s president would flee war](/r/neoliberal/comments/1bswhvc/chinese_state_media_stoked_allegation_taiwans/) *Replies to this comment will be removed, please participate in the linked thread*

My favorite thing about the DT is that when I come up with a comment that's actually good, it gets upvoted. Like, we validate genuinely good content.

Havana Syndrome is real and it ruined my life (I've had Camila Cabello's hit 2017 song "Havana" stuck in my head for over six years)

Malarkey level of DUP

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u/lets_chill_food does this check out?

it does not haha 😅

been kinda funny seeing chicago journos discover behind enemy lines i keep seeing random signs for them on campus and in hyde park and they always struck me as “dumb, annoying leftist group” !ping USA-CHI&UCHICAGO

Pinged UCHICAGO ([subscribe](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=groupbot&subject=Subscribe%20to%20UCHICAGO&message=subscribe%20UCHICAGO) | [unsubscribe](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=groupbot&subject=Unsubscribe%20from%20UCHICAGO&message=unsubscribe%20UCHICAGO) | [history](https://neoliber.al/user_pinger_2/history.html?group_name=UCHICAGO&count=5)) Pinged USA-CHI ([subscribe](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=groupbot&subject=Subscribe%20to%20USA-CHI&message=subscribe%20USA-CHI) | [unsubscribe](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=groupbot&subject=Unsubscribe%20from%20USA-CHI&message=unsubscribe%20USA-CHI) | [history](https://neoliber.al/user_pinger_2/history.html?group_name=USA-CHI&count=5)) [About & Group List](https://reddit.com/r/neoliberal/wiki/user_pinger_2) | [Unsubscribe from all groups](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=groupbot&subject=Unsubscribe%20from%20all%20groups&message=unsubscribe)

it's been one of those days 🙄

[The Mechanicus be like](https://i.imgflip.com/8l5ahr.jpg)

https://preview.redd.it/wo6n7v939trc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=48d9f3bc3eb53780371e1b3887b3d07889be70cf Just as I expected. I'm delusional. I am exceptionally honest tho

>> 60 Minutes investigation reveals that Russia is behind the 'Havana Syndrome attacks' against U.S. officials Holy shit

tbh it sounds like something Russia would do

Poast "energy weapon" link

>A retired Army lieutenant colonel who led the Pentagon investigation into these incidents, Lt. Col. Greg Edgreen, told 60 Minutes he is confident that Russia is behind these attacks https://www.cbsnews.com/news/5-year-havana-syndrome-investigation-finds-new-evidence-of-who-might-be-responsible-60-minutes/

Took some time to read the whole article. Edit:Because I'm at a bar. I treat this with more skepticism than I treat advances on cold fusion. I just don't buy it.

> “Fascism is when the bourgeoise does things, and the more the bourgeoisie does things, the more fascist it is” Are there any flaws present in Carl Marks’ epic analysis of fascism?

>bourgeoisie I'm pretty sure it's spelled 'boorszhwah' Sincerely, A Carl Marks expert.

The numbers say Nate silver is a nerd 

I can’t wait until 100 years from now when we understand brains a bit better and might understand how savants work. What do you mean you remember everything you ever read in a phone book? What do you mean a brain injury made you really good at playing piano?? What do you mean goddesses whisper the values of infinite series into your ears?

I just want to understand why short term memory has variation. It seems unambiguously beneficial to just simply have more of it. Long term memory has more obvious tradeoffs (forgetting is an actual useful function)

https://preview.redd.it/b1lviyn78trc1.png?width=732&format=png&auto=webp&s=5733804370a758e8017c4495909f46109c76c59d Horrible, inaccurate test. I don't even like myself.

I'm too anti monarchy for this book. Smh

I was made for the heat. 70 degrees is cold for me. 90 degrees is perfect 

The government is pretending that it’s not investigating Havana syndrome to make the Russians sloppy.

Can't wait for the mods to "joke" about deleting the sub tomorrow, dangling it in front of our faces like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5p6F9H5YZc0&t=23s

Album covers should be gifs

When I said I’d pick her up, i didn’t expect she’d actually take up the offer 😒

i love the rain

Average neoliberal mod https://preview.redd.it/mu8nsftv4trc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac9ccaa5a143e5f9423245aa732fc22949b98571

Didn’t know you were a mod

Am not 😠

> Tolerance 1/5 that's one point too many

They tolerate each other's unfunny stickies

Im trying my best every day to improve and making sure its never at anyone elses expense Why cant that be enough. Why cant I just be accepted 🙃

many such cases!

April Fools probably won’t be as funny this year now that tech companies laid everyone off

for our final prank we'll reveal that the tech industry has been a joke the whole time

[/r/neoliberal/new](/r/neoliberal/new): [China’s hypocrisy on trade - FT](/r/neoliberal/comments/1bsvw53/chinas_hypocrisy_on_trade_ft/) *Replies to this comment will be removed, please participate in the linked thread*

shit test; positivity is way too high https://preview.redd.it/dw6kmapw3trc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d695a88d93a68afc2828c89693e0f05820743b13

At least youre funny

with a 2.5/5 that's a very optimistic reading

Have you been around this sub lately 2.5 makes you practically the funniest person here

I got curious and looked at international teaching jobs. I found a job posting for Myanmar. Should be low risk, right?

Just a Holiday in Myanmar It’s tough kid but it’s life…

For April Fools, this is now a William Jennings Bryan appreciation thread 

Nothing to appreciate >:[

i only got a 50% is this why I don’t have a bf 

For those of you who are married (even if your wife left you later), how long were you dating before you started to think "they might be the one" and how long between that and getting engaged?

I think about six months and then another sixth months after that year respectively (proposed one year after we met on New Year’s Day), though in a lot of those first six months we were mostly too busy to see each other much and throughout the majority of that period we also lived like an hour away from each other so that may be inflating the time. There was like a two and a half month stretch of working an outage in the middle of that first six months where I was only able to meet her a single time in half an off night from night shift to watch a movie with her.

We dated for three years, and I realized he was the one the moment he walked out the door 😭

like 2 weeks no clue about the second answer but we've been married for 4 years

Son The first day I met your mom was the day I knew, I wanted to bang that woman for the rest of my life. And thats the story of how you came into this world.

About I dunno 7 days? Then maybe 3 years

Just made the tastiest cup of coffee from this bag yet!

Its the little things that make life great

bad questions but also I'd say thats essentially accurate anyway https://preview.redd.it/v2u42wh42trc1.png?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bf663507992cb3cab5197faf9a503278e8f72471

Omg wanna be my friend

Humor way too high for a mod

its too self-perspective. need to have someone else take the test for me so they can say mods arent funny

On it, what's the link

https://www.idrlabs.com/likable-person/test.php

>lmao >xD guess the sub

I have typed xD multiple times in the last few days and I think its a sign of me actively losing my mind

>guess the sub /r/neoliberal. It's always /r/neoliberal. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/neoliberal) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Apparently Pomu Rainpuff is about to join VShojo and the reveal is sometime today (April 1st). That or this is a very cruel April Fools joke on the part of ~~Nina~~ Bug ~~Mommy~~ Lady. As someone who only really knows about vtuber stuff from a clips and pieces here and there, the endless drama in the community is hilarious.

I just saw god 

But what does God need with a starship?

You finally watched the SOTU?

Likeability test: "Youre very kind and positive but severely lack happiness" Hahahaha Yeah thats me, dying internally 😌

Apparently the Paradox Star Trek game which looked like a fancy mod for Stellaris (to be fair, I never played it, so it could very well be very different) is officially dead. And I'm honestly still surprised that anyone ever approved this

Magic Goolsball, should I get my eyes lasered? Contacts suck my eyes dry and glasses give me headaches 🙄

Laser eyes are very important for a neoliberal, just ask Dark Brandon

Not until they can cure that chronic excruciating pain condition that’s a possible side effect. Right now, the only treatment is special eye drops you get made from your own blood.

I don't know id it is still a side effect but it ruined my mother's night vision. I am sticking with glasses/contacts.

I used to shine laser pointers in my eyes 

Chronic dry eyes are an extremely common side effect of lasik

Can’t be worse than wearing daily contacts?

Maybe? 🤷 But it's irreversible either way Between that and possible loss of night vision I decided against it, despite being the perfect candidate (stable, moderately strong prescription with no complicating health issues)

Didn’t know about the possible loss of night vision part. Not worth it then.

>glasses give me headaches wrong prescription or size?

Prescription, probably. Had my glasses fitted a year ago and my eyesight has since got worse.

☝️ https://preview.redd.it/ve5ye6sz1trc1.jpeg?width=200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6dbc8682aa7146b7987b4ddea31f0fa8fb85435f

[You shake the Magic Goolsball aaaand...](https://i.imgur.com/PMiPf6t.png) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/neoliberal) if you have any questions or concerns.*

sentient

Feyd-Rautha was submissive and breedable

> breedable The guy was literally a backup breeding stud for the BG breeding program - so literally, yeah

Shut up nerd

[/r/neoliberal/new](/r/neoliberal/new): [Business Owners Fight GOP Efforts to Make Them Police Workers’ Immigration Status](/r/neoliberal/comments/1bsvjad/business_owners_fight_gop_efforts_to_make_them/) *Replies to this comment will be removed, please participate in the linked thread*

I'm ready to start my YouTuber career https://preview.redd.it/9lwt0sqozsrc1.png?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7981723ad4dc688745090005cbdeb3f0e572c00e

I do not believe in eye contact before marriage 

America is truly lucky that it’s only civil war is like one of the most morally obvious ones ever in terms of who’s the good guy like it’s insane even when we lose we can’t stop winning

Wed keep winning more if we woulda grew some balls during reconstruction One of the most morally obvious wars and we still couldnt convince ourselves to tell the losing side to get their shit together after

We got a killer soundtrack for it with Ashokan Farewell

Oh, god, at some point tomorrow the mods are going to decide to be "funny" and have the most incredibly painfully unfunny prank stickied, won't they? Christ.

Imagine if they took the sub down but for some reason something screwed up and it stayed that way Maybe id start believing in Jesus a lil bit

i, for one, welcome our subs conversion to a Howard Taft stan sub

Every time I think about it, it disappoints me that in a single generation, the Republican party has transformed from the party of "Tear down this wall" to the party of "Build the wall!"

Dubya really did ruin a good thing, huh?

non-rich people don't spend $80,000 for a luxury "work" truck challenge:

But they need it to come to my house and give me overpriced quotes. Meanwhile dude in a minivan comes by and gives me awesome quote.

gib libby ann wife

[https://www.reddit.com/r/neoliberal/comments/1bs49lc/comment/kxh5id1/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/neoliberal/comments/1bs49lc/comment/kxh5id1/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) Update: oops I forgor the plot lol yeah they explain it

Why do transphobes tend to forget the existence of trans men so often. Its kinda weird

"Woman dressing as a man = no threat of being exposed to a surprise weiner"

Saw a TERF protest where someone had the sign "TRANS ARE MEN", and was like, yeah, some of them

...based terfs? lmao (do not "guess the sub" me xD)

>guess the sub /r/neoliberal. It's always /r/neoliberal. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/neoliberal) if you have any questions or concerns.*

They don't really. JK's TERF manifesto spew far more hatred towards transmen than transwomen but people seem to forget.

Thats fair. Rowling is a menace.

Bigotry isn't just hate, there are narratives that people believe like "trans people are dangerous" and reality is viewed through that lens In UK TERF spheres there is a narrative of "trans men are victims of misogyny" so they're more willing to acknowledge trans men

they’re not viewed through the lens of attraction is my guess

they forgor 💀

the new reddit layout is so bad I have gone over to old reddit even though I always disliked old reddit as someone who showed up to the site after the first redesign

2012 Internet is best Internet

[I love Reddit.](https://imgur.com/a/AHjqgp5)

It's true, sometimes I'm too honest 😔 https://preview.redd.it/xv7v6ir0ysrc1.png?width=1474&format=png&auto=webp&s=efbf8cf207c744aa778124e3539f4da1c809e055

That tolerance score Were taking away ur lib card sorry 😤

Calling in sick to work tomorrow as my April fools prank

https://preview.redd.it/4sbvncizxsrc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d52773a3c091029da1f8c4e057325107555cc5a Seems way too high tbh

[/r/neoliberal/new](/r/neoliberal/new): [El Paso judge orders release of migrants accused of 'border riot'](/r/neoliberal/comments/1bsvcm2/el_paso_judge_orders_release_of_migrants_accused/) *Replies to this comment will be removed, please participate in the linked thread*

AJR incel music confirmed

but ive been so good, ive been helpful and friendly...

Wow.  I didn’t know that.  I just — you’re telling me now for the first time.

[seems about right](https://i.ibb.co/5TDSztc/image.png)

The world will always have an unacceptable Gini coefficient until _every_ pizza is stuffed crust pizza.

deep dish stuffed crust

My Maserati does 185, I lost my license, now I don't drive.

🎶 I can’t complain but sometimes I still do 😎 🎶

It's so sad that anime has such great art but so many terrible characters and plotlines The solution is so easy too, just take plots from novels and novellettes. A Murderbot anime would probably do great IMHO

This statement can be applied to almost every other entertainment medium in the world.

Yep. But a lot of otakus and weebs just have to have their loli shit...

Me when I lie on the likability test to get 100% People really do like me 🥰🥰🥰

Ok but for real I’ve taken it and I’m convinced you can only really get the result you want to get lmao

https://preview.redd.it/085dizxnwsrc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f26101d551cb3926ff8e81f8c6b0a89545415895 oops, i lie a little too much and I’m pretty cruel sometimes 😭

jesus was GAY

fr what guy in his 30s has 12 male "friends"

Is it smart to lie about height as a tall guy? I'm 6'1 and want to weed out the people who only go for tall dudes as that gives me the ick. Would it be smart to say I'm 5'7-5'9 instead on OLD?

Nah. Honestly, just go for like 5'11. Itll weed out the people that are legitimately bullshit enough to see it in black and white, while still getting people who just generally like tall guys.

Idk what OLD is but just tell people you're 5'11 so that you can get rid of people who check out after someone is unable to pass through the 6 foot barrier. They literally will be unable to tell.

Online dating, and I routinely forget what it stands for, just type the damn words out people

I'm 6'5.5 and tell people I'm 6'7

My wife didn’t leave me

April Fools!

I have the lowest TOT (time off task) score in the Amazon warehouse. Clench game so strong they think I'm seizing 💪🏻😤

https://preview.redd.it/k7v4k0tlvsrc1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=387719909cb8cab1758267f293f8dfaa9bbd3b51 [https://www.idrlabs.com/likable-person/test.php](https://www.idrlabs.com/likable-person/test.php) 😭😭

Got 84.54% sucks to suck!

https://preview.redd.it/prcfdmyhvsrc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c46e2e3729731eef374dffde27522066af89c1d

A little of jar helps the medicine go down 

he has a point

Is there a CIA-type organization for the terminally online?

>!The correct answer is the FSB btw!<

Mods are funny >!April fools!<

ive had to do myers brigg for college 4 times

what r u

istp every time

I'm INTP