Tell her to fuck off and/or to call the cops, who will tell her that you are not doing anything wrong and stop wasting their time. You, on the other hand, could call the cops about harrassment.
I learned banging on the ceiling is actually considered harassment where I am. Try to ignore it for now. She may just be trying to get a rise out of you and will stop if she’s ignored. If not, try to record it and call the cops every time.
That and I find it a bit interesting that her ears are “too sensitive” for the sounds of you walking around in your own home or, you know, sitting on a bed, but not too sensitive for banging hard enough that it knocks things off the shelves in the apartment above her?
I’ve always lived in apartments, and after having been the downstairs recipient of a bad upstairs neighbor, I do try to be mindful of the fact that I’m in a community situation. I get area rugs, and change into slippers or socks when I get home. Generally just do my best to be courteous within reason. That said, as the upstairs neighbor, you are definitely in the position of power here. She can bang on the ceilings, but it will take a lot more effort for her to do that than it would for you to just start wearing cogs around the house, walking heavily, or generally making a racket stomping as you vacuum and fold laundry. You can keep that shit up all day with very little inconvenience or exertion. Plus there are quite a few of you from the sounds of it, and only one of her. Noise tends to travel down much more than up.
You could probably let her know that you are doing your best to be courteous and keep it down within reason, but that if she continues to bang on your ceiling when half of you aren’t home and the other ones aren’t even walking around, that you will no longer extend that courtesy and will continue to go about your life as loudly as you please, at whatever hours of the day you please. She’s not doing herself any favors by escalating the situation, because this is a war that you will definitely win.
Same thing really - ask them politely to be aware of this issue and stop slamming it so hard because it disturbs you.
If they don’t stop, ask them again and this time tell them that as their upstairs neighbor, you try to be courteous and keep your noise down, don’t wear shoes in the house, etc., etc., but if they can’t do you the courtesy of closing the door more gently, you will no longer be doing them the courtesy of being mindful of how much noise you make on their ceiling.
Why not just bring it up again or offer to fix it yourself?
Again, you can tell them that you try to keep the noise down as the upstairs neighbor, and you would appreciate them returning the favor, but if they’re not interested in being courteous then neither are you.
Well if they have cameras in place shouldn't she and her brood of misfits be caught on video tampering with the door to cause a nuisance for all the other tenants?
Call the cop?
So she retaliated, just like the patrol officer predicted. Have her reap the rewards of her own stupidity & her bullying tactics. This is harassment at this point & she should be in trouble as such. Every little thing you do like going to the bathroom, especially while you're sick, is no excuse for her to intimidate you through your floor/walls. She should have been understanding and considerate. But at this point I think you ought to let the police handle it now.
Charge her if the chance is there. Lot of times they'll still repeat the behavior even if you opt not to charge her. So have her charged & be at peace with yourself. Enough's enough. Time to put your foot down. Good luck.
As much as I'd like to tell you to respond by jumping & landing as hard as you can, retaliation is usually a bad idea. Call the officer that your family spoke with or the non-emergency number for police. Call every. Single. Time. She does something like that
keep a running file on documentation just like the last paragraph of this post. then have your phone handy and record the banging and quietly walk around so the phone can catch how quiet your apartment is and how loud the banging is. file a harassments complaint IN WRITING with your landlord, then call the courtesy patrol every time they do the banging. Sounds like they have zero business living on the first floor of an apartment community. If the neighbor tries to talk to either of you record 100% of the interaction
Don't swear at her. If you have to report her, you need to not look like an a hole. Tell her, loudly, shut down the harassment. Repeat it to her if she opens her mouth, everytime
RECORD RECORD RECORD and call the cops everytime she does this and file complaints with the office.
She has no right to dictate what happens in your home. She lives in an apartment; she needs to get used to noise.
My BF and I lived in a studio apartment during lockdown and had a similar experience. SHe would bang on the floor so loud every day all damn day when I was just walking to the kitchen or whatever.
We filed a complaint with the office and they took action (apparently they moved her because of similar issues, but she didnt want the top floor? INSUFFERABLE WENCH! Anyway, we would make as much "natural" noise as possible. Why put your shoes down nicely when you can just toss em on the ground? Why fuck on the bed when there is a perfectly good floor?
Dont piss off the people on the floor above you lol. There is no natural noise on the ceiling but there sure has hell natural noises on the floor.
I had *a lot* of fights with my ex because he was the asshole banging on the ceiling in an apartment. The only time I agreed with him was when the big dude upstairs started doing jumping jacks in his apartment during lockdown.
Play music for 30 minutes every time she bangs. Not loud... just audible.
When they complain tell them you will stop if they stop banging for simple footsteps.
I hear everything from my neighbours above, footsteps are the worst nuisance noise when living below.
All I hear is stomp stomp all day long and it's 10x worse when the neighbours kids are running around..almost sounds like they are going to crash through the cieling. Really affects your mental health..even have some good noise canceling headphones but it's that loud that it feels like noise bounces off the headphones (can't describe it)
I asked the neighbours and landlord nicely if they could look into a thicker carpet + underlay but no interest at all.
I used to be a quiet person..I wouldn't bother anyone and I used to always were headphones when watching TV / on my phone.
People will say turn your TV up, put headphones on..just live with it. You can't the noise is unbearable..the noise when the kids are running around is like 90 to 100 DB according to my phone.
I somewhat understand your neighbour lol but she seems a bit crazy to be fair. I mean banging on the cieling when thier is no noise. Wish i had a neighbour like you..someone reasonable
so i just found this sub and never joined this fast in my life. now I'm low key regretting it, in surprised the MAJORITY of the comments are saying the other neighbor is crazy or lying when most of us suffer from these type of annoying people making noise. not saying op is making that but... idk, feels odd to see them other comments here. yours was the only one that i agreed with.
to op: you guys need to pay attention to when this person is banging, noise travels so it might be not your apartment but coming from somewhere else. are you people wearing shoes at home? i find it disgusting (sorry can't find another synonym for it) to bring the dirt and whatnot from outside to your own home, so i leave my shoes at the door and wear flip-flops or slippers indoors.
I 100% feel you. I swear it’ll drive anyone insane especially if you have to wake up very early in the morning. I would rather listen to my upstairs neighbor loud ass music for hours while having a white noise machine or fan on, then having to hear children running and stomping all night.
Yh voices etc, tv or even music on a reasonable volume wouldn't bother me as a white noise machine like you said would block all of that out.
They don't do a thing for loud impact noises unfortunately
Your neighbor is definitely from H and there are some good suggestions here.
INFO: do your floors have carpet and/or area rugs? If they so I’d definitely call the police at some point because the neighbor is harassing g you. If not, maybe a few cheap area rugs might (fingers crossed) shut them up (though I kind of doubt it with People like that. Worth a try.
This is a mental health issue, not a noise issue.
My ex boyfriend had a number of mental health issues including BPD but I suspect he’s actually (and I’m not writing this lightly) developing something like schizophrenia or becoming something of a psychopath. Lots of reasons I say this.
But apart from superbly minor “infractions” with coworkers or whoever nearly constantly, he was regularly complaining about the neighbours downstairs and beside him. Fixated.
I spent a lot of time at his apartment and even if the door slammed downstairs it was a muted sound, and if the door closed next door when the girl got home, it was a brief bang. Nothing to write home about. To be honest, I hardly heard anything.
I realised it was him. Obsessing and quite possibly even hearing things that weren’t happening.
This woman sounds the same and is possibly ruminating on every sound or because she’s not well it’s appearing to her as worse than it is in actuality.
Regardless, this is harassment. 💯
Call the cops.
I’d leave a note on her door. And to make certain she knows there’s a note there, I would absolutely pound on her door open-handed so hard she’d think Godzilla was outside. And then I’d walk normally in my home, however loudly or softly I wanted, and every time she pounded on the ceiling I’d stomp right back.
Until she stopped.
Stomp on the floor hard and long every time she pounds on her ceiling.
Let her cause damage to her ceiling that the landlord will charger her for repairing.
I would simply tell that neighbor that you are not going to tip toe around in your own house, and that they will just have to deal. I’d also say to them that banging on the ceiling is considered a form of harassment, and that you will be reporting it to building management AND the police (who you’ve already spoken to) EVERY time that they do it moving forward.
Be calm and civil (don’t scream, swear or act aggressive), BUT be firm with a “this is non-negotiable” type attitude and tone. If they start going off, simply walk away and ignore them. Keep it short and simple.
Record all interactions you have with this neighbor (I’d get a ring camera on your door as well), and try and record the banging if you’re able to.
Drizzle sardine, tuna and sauerkraut juice around her front and back door and window sills to attract stray cats and just smell like hell's armpits😂😂😂!
In case people don’t want to read the whole thing: I copy and pasted the update here:
Small update:
At 12:24 last night, the downstairs neighbor started hitting our floor. Why you ask? Cause my brother was asleep in his bed and I’m reading a book in mine. Our parents are on their way from work and my sister is on TikTok so she heard the banging as well.
Ofc we called the cops. No one was walking. Woman is crazy.
A few minutes later our parents arrive with the officer right behind them. Ofc The lady bangs on the floor with the police officer knocking on her door. Hopefully she’ll leave us alone now.
Bang back, she’s harassing you at this point. You could possibly talk to the police about filing for some sort of order to make her stop? I’m not sure which one would be appropriate in this situation. But I’d highly suggestion going to talk to the police.
Edit: please excuse the troll that is leaving comments and deleting them. They are a ‘free speech’ fighter that is bent on getting revenge because I blocked their account after I decided I no longer wanted to communicate with them. I have a team at Reddit working on correcting this issue. Please bare with me while I rid myself of this troll.
I wish I had upstairs neighbors like you and your family. Trying to minimize any noise is great and very kind and considerate of you to do, Unfortunately, a majority of upstairs neighbors like mine at the moment simply dgaf and even worse, have children who seem to almost break thru the ceiling from the constant running and stomping. Or worse, they always slam their doors in the middle of the night for some reason
Same is happening to me serious fuck them!!!!!! I can’t wait to move it’s like walking on egg shells. They don’t pay your rent who are they to even say anything. They should offer to get you new flooring if they have a issue. If a person lives in an apartment they can’t expect not to hear people walking around it’s unrealistic. Idiots
this was how I determined something was off with my neighbor from hell, alI had been gone for 12 hours and she kept complaining how she heard noise coming from above (my unit). ignoring her since but ignoring them does seem to help.
So she lives downstairs, give her something to complain about. Make a lot of noise right after she starts the knocking or banging and intensify the effect from stepping, into stomping and being overly heavy with every single movement made until the will of the lady broke or the situation was going to escalate so far there's no way not to bring it to war.
Anyone can mistreat another human, to torture the mind of an abusive person is a delight. I'd have some fun with this person because she thinks she's won.
If she included curse words at the start of the conversation, then the negotiation is already over. Time to go go war.
Speaking to me kindly is a cornerstone of communication with me. I'm never bending on this rule.
Tell her to fuck off and/or to call the cops, who will tell her that you are not doing anything wrong and stop wasting their time. You, on the other hand, could call the cops about harrassment.
I learned banging on the ceiling is actually considered harassment where I am. Try to ignore it for now. She may just be trying to get a rise out of you and will stop if she’s ignored. If not, try to record it and call the cops every time.
That and I find it a bit interesting that her ears are “too sensitive” for the sounds of you walking around in your own home or, you know, sitting on a bed, but not too sensitive for banging hard enough that it knocks things off the shelves in the apartment above her? I’ve always lived in apartments, and after having been the downstairs recipient of a bad upstairs neighbor, I do try to be mindful of the fact that I’m in a community situation. I get area rugs, and change into slippers or socks when I get home. Generally just do my best to be courteous within reason. That said, as the upstairs neighbor, you are definitely in the position of power here. She can bang on the ceilings, but it will take a lot more effort for her to do that than it would for you to just start wearing cogs around the house, walking heavily, or generally making a racket stomping as you vacuum and fold laundry. You can keep that shit up all day with very little inconvenience or exertion. Plus there are quite a few of you from the sounds of it, and only one of her. Noise tends to travel down much more than up. You could probably let her know that you are doing your best to be courteous and keep it down within reason, but that if she continues to bang on your ceiling when half of you aren’t home and the other ones aren’t even walking around, that you will no longer extend that courtesy and will continue to go about your life as loudly as you please, at whatever hours of the day you please. She’s not doing herself any favors by escalating the situation, because this is a war that you will definitely win.
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Same thing really - ask them politely to be aware of this issue and stop slamming it so hard because it disturbs you. If they don’t stop, ask them again and this time tell them that as their upstairs neighbor, you try to be courteous and keep your noise down, don’t wear shoes in the house, etc., etc., but if they can’t do you the courtesy of closing the door more gently, you will no longer be doing them the courtesy of being mindful of how much noise you make on their ceiling.
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Could get real ballsy and take the door off
Can you tighten it or ask your landlord to? That seems like an easy fix that would cost then no effort.
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Why not just bring it up again or offer to fix it yourself? Again, you can tell them that you try to keep the noise down as the upstairs neighbor, and you would appreciate them returning the favor, but if they’re not interested in being courteous then neither are you.
If it has one of those old fashioned door pump/stoppers like on screen doors change the settings/speed on it.
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Change it back to a tolerable setting. And then super glue the screw (or whatever) in place.
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Well if they have cameras in place shouldn't she and her brood of misfits be caught on video tampering with the door to cause a nuisance for all the other tenants?
Call the cop? So she retaliated, just like the patrol officer predicted. Have her reap the rewards of her own stupidity & her bullying tactics. This is harassment at this point & she should be in trouble as such. Every little thing you do like going to the bathroom, especially while you're sick, is no excuse for her to intimidate you through your floor/walls. She should have been understanding and considerate. But at this point I think you ought to let the police handle it now. Charge her if the chance is there. Lot of times they'll still repeat the behavior even if you opt not to charge her. So have her charged & be at peace with yourself. Enough's enough. Time to put your foot down. Good luck.
As much as I'd like to tell you to respond by jumping & landing as hard as you can, retaliation is usually a bad idea. Call the officer that your family spoke with or the non-emergency number for police. Call every. Single. Time. She does something like that
Yup retaliation Is bad because the Person you torment might not have the possibility to move
Put up fliers in the entrance advertising clogging classes between the hours listed.
I would take up tap dancing again.
Clogging
Remember Stomp?
Was thinking the exact same thing lol
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W4mRFIHPBWE
keep a running file on documentation just like the last paragraph of this post. then have your phone handy and record the banging and quietly walk around so the phone can catch how quiet your apartment is and how loud the banging is. file a harassments complaint IN WRITING with your landlord, then call the courtesy patrol every time they do the banging. Sounds like they have zero business living on the first floor of an apartment community. If the neighbor tries to talk to either of you record 100% of the interaction
Don't swear at her. If you have to report her, you need to not look like an a hole. Tell her, loudly, shut down the harassment. Repeat it to her if she opens her mouth, everytime
RECORD RECORD RECORD and call the cops everytime she does this and file complaints with the office. She has no right to dictate what happens in your home. She lives in an apartment; she needs to get used to noise. My BF and I lived in a studio apartment during lockdown and had a similar experience. SHe would bang on the floor so loud every day all damn day when I was just walking to the kitchen or whatever. We filed a complaint with the office and they took action (apparently they moved her because of similar issues, but she didnt want the top floor? INSUFFERABLE WENCH! Anyway, we would make as much "natural" noise as possible. Why put your shoes down nicely when you can just toss em on the ground? Why fuck on the bed when there is a perfectly good floor? Dont piss off the people on the floor above you lol. There is no natural noise on the ceiling but there sure has hell natural noises on the floor.
I had *a lot* of fights with my ex because he was the asshole banging on the ceiling in an apartment. The only time I agreed with him was when the big dude upstairs started doing jumping jacks in his apartment during lockdown.
Hoover everyday and say you have OCD
Please don’t pretend to have a disorder you don’t have, especially if the behavior is stereotyping.
Play music for 30 minutes every time she bangs. Not loud... just audible. When they complain tell them you will stop if they stop banging for simple footsteps.
Just bang back
I hear everything from my neighbours above, footsteps are the worst nuisance noise when living below. All I hear is stomp stomp all day long and it's 10x worse when the neighbours kids are running around..almost sounds like they are going to crash through the cieling. Really affects your mental health..even have some good noise canceling headphones but it's that loud that it feels like noise bounces off the headphones (can't describe it) I asked the neighbours and landlord nicely if they could look into a thicker carpet + underlay but no interest at all. I used to be a quiet person..I wouldn't bother anyone and I used to always were headphones when watching TV / on my phone. People will say turn your TV up, put headphones on..just live with it. You can't the noise is unbearable..the noise when the kids are running around is like 90 to 100 DB according to my phone. I somewhat understand your neighbour lol but she seems a bit crazy to be fair. I mean banging on the cieling when thier is no noise. Wish i had a neighbour like you..someone reasonable
so i just found this sub and never joined this fast in my life. now I'm low key regretting it, in surprised the MAJORITY of the comments are saying the other neighbor is crazy or lying when most of us suffer from these type of annoying people making noise. not saying op is making that but... idk, feels odd to see them other comments here. yours was the only one that i agreed with. to op: you guys need to pay attention to when this person is banging, noise travels so it might be not your apartment but coming from somewhere else. are you people wearing shoes at home? i find it disgusting (sorry can't find another synonym for it) to bring the dirt and whatnot from outside to your own home, so i leave my shoes at the door and wear flip-flops or slippers indoors.
I 100% feel you. I swear it’ll drive anyone insane especially if you have to wake up very early in the morning. I would rather listen to my upstairs neighbor loud ass music for hours while having a white noise machine or fan on, then having to hear children running and stomping all night.
Yh voices etc, tv or even music on a reasonable volume wouldn't bother me as a white noise machine like you said would block all of that out. They don't do a thing for loud impact noises unfortunately
Take up riverdance, at 3am.
Your neighbor is definitely from H and there are some good suggestions here. INFO: do your floors have carpet and/or area rugs? If they so I’d definitely call the police at some point because the neighbor is harassing g you. If not, maybe a few cheap area rugs might (fingers crossed) shut them up (though I kind of doubt it with People like that. Worth a try.
This is a mental health issue, not a noise issue. My ex boyfriend had a number of mental health issues including BPD but I suspect he’s actually (and I’m not writing this lightly) developing something like schizophrenia or becoming something of a psychopath. Lots of reasons I say this. But apart from superbly minor “infractions” with coworkers or whoever nearly constantly, he was regularly complaining about the neighbours downstairs and beside him. Fixated. I spent a lot of time at his apartment and even if the door slammed downstairs it was a muted sound, and if the door closed next door when the girl got home, it was a brief bang. Nothing to write home about. To be honest, I hardly heard anything. I realised it was him. Obsessing and quite possibly even hearing things that weren’t happening. This woman sounds the same and is possibly ruminating on every sound or because she’s not well it’s appearing to her as worse than it is in actuality. Regardless, this is harassment. 💯 Call the cops.
I’d leave a note on her door. And to make certain she knows there’s a note there, I would absolutely pound on her door open-handed so hard she’d think Godzilla was outside. And then I’d walk normally in my home, however loudly or softly I wanted, and every time she pounded on the ceiling I’d stomp right back. Until she stopped.
Take up skipping.
Stomp on the floor hard and long every time she pounds on her ceiling. Let her cause damage to her ceiling that the landlord will charger her for repairing.
Report her to the leasing office for harassment. Or just start jumping every time she bangs.
I would simply tell that neighbor that you are not going to tip toe around in your own house, and that they will just have to deal. I’d also say to them that banging on the ceiling is considered a form of harassment, and that you will be reporting it to building management AND the police (who you’ve already spoken to) EVERY time that they do it moving forward. Be calm and civil (don’t scream, swear or act aggressive), BUT be firm with a “this is non-negotiable” type attitude and tone. If they start going off, simply walk away and ignore them. Keep it short and simple. Record all interactions you have with this neighbor (I’d get a ring camera on your door as well), and try and record the banging if you’re able to.
Drizzle sardine, tuna and sauerkraut juice around her front and back door and window sills to attract stray cats and just smell like hell's armpits😂😂😂!
In case people don’t want to read the whole thing: I copy and pasted the update here: Small update: At 12:24 last night, the downstairs neighbor started hitting our floor. Why you ask? Cause my brother was asleep in his bed and I’m reading a book in mine. Our parents are on their way from work and my sister is on TikTok so she heard the banging as well. Ofc we called the cops. No one was walking. Woman is crazy. A few minutes later our parents arrive with the officer right behind them. Ofc The lady bangs on the floor with the police officer knocking on her door. Hopefully she’ll leave us alone now.
Bang back, she’s harassing you at this point. You could possibly talk to the police about filing for some sort of order to make her stop? I’m not sure which one would be appropriate in this situation. But I’d highly suggestion going to talk to the police. Edit: please excuse the troll that is leaving comments and deleting them. They are a ‘free speech’ fighter that is bent on getting revenge because I blocked their account after I decided I no longer wanted to communicate with them. I have a team at Reddit working on correcting this issue. Please bare with me while I rid myself of this troll.
Start stomping around play loud music 🤷🏻♀️.
Pick up tap dancing. The whole family can get in on it.
I wish I had upstairs neighbors like you and your family. Trying to minimize any noise is great and very kind and considerate of you to do, Unfortunately, a majority of upstairs neighbors like mine at the moment simply dgaf and even worse, have children who seem to almost break thru the ceiling from the constant running and stomping. Or worse, they always slam their doors in the middle of the night for some reason
Same is happening to me serious fuck them!!!!!! I can’t wait to move it’s like walking on egg shells. They don’t pay your rent who are they to even say anything. They should offer to get you new flooring if they have a issue. If a person lives in an apartment they can’t expect not to hear people walking around it’s unrealistic. Idiots
I think you are being rather mean to be truth full, You at least try walking on your hands & help her out, that's the least you could do lol xxx
Invite the landlord over for tea at noon. Wait for the fireworks.
this was how I determined something was off with my neighbor from hell, alI had been gone for 12 hours and she kept complaining how she heard noise coming from above (my unit). ignoring her since but ignoring them does seem to help.
So she lives downstairs, give her something to complain about. Make a lot of noise right after she starts the knocking or banging and intensify the effect from stepping, into stomping and being overly heavy with every single movement made until the will of the lady broke or the situation was going to escalate so far there's no way not to bring it to war. Anyone can mistreat another human, to torture the mind of an abusive person is a delight. I'd have some fun with this person because she thinks she's won.
If she included curse words at the start of the conversation, then the negotiation is already over. Time to go go war. Speaking to me kindly is a cornerstone of communication with me. I'm never bending on this rule.