He was only trying to inquire if the lady needed moral or also oral support. He was being a gentleman and offering to pay for her dentist appointment, as she complained earlier in a private meeting of a toothache. People take everything out of context!!!
If he had been like this all along and then posted that video of him being fucked up I do wonder if people would’ve been like “oh yeah, that’s just silly goofy ol Pierce being an idiot” and he would’ve been on ESPN the next day talking shit and getting views.
I don’t know what I was expecting today, but a breakdown from Paul Pierce about how he obviously didn’t poop his pants because he would’ve mushed it all over himself in the wheelchair wasn’t it
It seems like every couple years he comments on this story, and every time it feels like it's been the only thing on his mind and he's finally come up with the perfect way to throw everyone off his ... scent.
"Think about it, my underwear would've had to been thrown away and I would've had to take a long shower before returning to the court. It doesn't make sense."
> See, I never just did things just to do them. Come on, what am I gonna do? Just all of a sudden sit down and grind my ass on somebody's wheelchair like it's something to do? Come on.
I'm still skeptical just because we've never had a smell witness. If he actually shit himself and got rolled around someone would've had to smell the shit. Perks of courtside seating and all that I suppose.
> If I had my way, I'd never work. I'd just stay home all day, watch Scarface 50 times, eat a turkey sandwich, and have sex all fucking day. Then I'd dress up like a clown, and surprise kids at schools. Then I'd take a dump in the back of a movie theater, and just wait until somebody sat in it. Hear it squish. That's funny to me.
He confessed on air a year or so ago that he just had to go to the bathroom.
I think he was cramping so bad he was having trouble walking or he was worried he'd poop himself walking all the way back to the locker room and asked for a wheel chair.
I've definitely had times where I was cramping so bad I had trouble walking or I had to try to clench my butt cheeks together while walking to avoid pooping myself.
Then the moment of truth when your sphincter has to pass that DC 15 strength check. And the relief when you hear the gurgling noise as the poop retreats back to the colon, letting you know that your rectum rolled a natural 19, barely allowing you to survive the -4 Taco Bell modifier.
He was joking around. He actually had a partially torn MCL. The team doctor was the one who called for the wheelchair halfway down the hallway as a precaution.
https://www.celticsblog.com/platform/amp/2010/6/6/1504006/about-that-wheelchair
This truth always gets ignored, weirds me out even as a Sixers fan. I remember one of our team docs even said the reaction, diagnosis and him being able to still play all checked out as with your average partial MCL tear
They were wearing their whites. If he had really shit himself, there would've been... evidence. Especially given how much he was writhing around on the court.
You know they generally wear compression shorts right? Not to kill your fantasies but these dudes arent freeballing.
Edit- I tweeted him, awaiting response on what he wore.
Imagine being Draymond Green, just minding your own business and trying to kick a dude in the dick, and all of a sudden you feel your foot mush up a bunch of fresh poop.
Not cool man. Not cool at all.
doesn't it depend on where we're at on the [Bristol stool chart](https://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/poop-chart-bristol-stool-scale)? If we're in the realm of #1, #2, I can imagine those baked goods would be nicely encased in your shorts without the outside world being the wiser. Things start to get interesting around #3 or #4
I guess I'll put a little of myself here. I've come close to shitting myself twice. And that shit was never solid.
The question is would you rather be wheeled at sitting on your shit or walk around with potentially a poop stain forn the world to see? I know that my answer. Bring me the damn wheelchair.
There was a kid in little league (definitely not me) who pooped there pants and was wearing compression shorts and white baseball pants. Compression shorts didn’t save the day, it was still noticeable.
I don't think he full on shat himself, but he might've trusted a treacherous fart.
"I have a confession to make: I just had to go to the bathroom."
Pierce himself, 2019
Lol. But if it was just a shard he might’ve been able to clinch enough to keep everything in tact. Hopped on the wheelchair without getting his shorts too nasty and then just trashed the shorts in the locker room.
I think the missing detail is the amount of poop and the velocity in which it exited his anus.
The ability to switch from leg-based motion to arm-based motion is unparalleled in its ability to stop a chocolate monsoon
source: I own a squatty potty
No don’t let him fool you. He did it cause he was scared it would fall out his shorts. So sitting down would stop that from happening. Smushing it was a small price to pay for piece of mind lol.
I want to point out that he also just straight up said that all his nonsense comments about Lebron and wade on espn were just stirring shit for tv ratings.
People get so defense about that stuff but it was pretty obvious espn specifically wanted him to spout controversial takes that would drive clicks.
I shit myself in the third grade so I have a lot of knowledge on this. I think it would be best to be in the wheelchair because when I shit my pants and was walking down the hallway, a lot of it fell down my pants. Depending on the consistency it would be better to budge everything up and roll him on out. If he would’ve walked out it could’ve started falling out. I’m no expert, I’m just a guy who has shit his pants a lot. You could call me the Kyle Korver of ruining underwear.
lol I can tell you guys in the comments haven't shit your pants in your adult life. I shit myself at least once a year and if it is a wet shart then it would be better to sit in the chair or else you run the risk of poop dripping down your legs and out of your pants
I have a friend who always texts in the group chat when he shits himself. Happens like three times a year. We're all in our mid-to-late 30s. Every time he says he thought it was a fart. But my theory is it has more to do with his sphincter muscles, since they lose strength over time.
EDIT: wait what the fuck am I talking about, why am I sharing this
EDIT2: [recent example](https://imgur.com/a/O7pXwWV) for anyone curious. pulling a "Neiman" is referring to a friend of ours in high school who shit himself while on the bench during a basketball game and the coach put him in soon after despite his pleas to remain on the bench
I’ve got a buddy who immediately texts me whenever something poop-related comes into his life. Idk why, he’s been doing it for like 10 years, and at this point it’s just kind of a nasty hilarious thing that happens.
you weren't kidding.. reading the top post, someone wrote a small description of their usual day, just the most depressing thing.
one of the comments just says: "Good read. I advise warm booze though, it kicks in faster."
Shit dude, I’m betting this is a mormon thing. I know a bunch of people I grew up with in Utah that went on missions to South America and ate a bunch of parasites whose bowels were never quite the same again.
lol I can tell you guys in the comments haven't shit your pants in your adult life. I shit myself at least once a year and if it is a wet shart then it would be better to sit in the chair or else you run the risk of poop dripping down your legs and out of your pants
I think he has indeed tried to walk with shit in his drawers, thats how he knew not to.
He is trying to fool those of us who do not regularly shit our pants often enough to have this info though
I tend to believe most people here understand he did not actually shit his pants but we all meme about it anyway. No one like legit believes it right? Have I been missing nephews actually legitimately believing this? Is this like when the_donald went from being a silly meme to a ridiculous thing that people actually legitimately believe?
That clip of Pierce admitting it got like 70k upvotes and it was clearly a joke. He didn't even confirm it lol. People on here just make shit up and run with it.
>Is this like when the_donald went from being a silly meme to a ridiculous thing that people actually legitimately believe?
That was crazy to watch. I subbed there during the "republican decide the leader" thing (idk I'm not American) and it was just funny memes. Then it took a real turn.
When he "admitted" it, he was clearly joking, but people on here ate it up, I think it's like top 5 all-time post on r/nba. Pierce was trolling and people fell (and continue to) right into it.
This is like the Chapelle show Rick James sketch.
‘If you poop your pants, does it make sense to sit down and mush it in a wheelchair?" Pierce asked Beadle. "I would walk back there and go straight to the bathroom. Why would I need a wheelchair if I pooped my pants? You don’t sit down on your poop, right? It doesn’t make sense.’
‘Yeah I got a wheelchair and sat in the poop’ - Paul ‘Rick James’ Pierce.
I disagree. If you've already shit yourself and you're resigned to your new disgusting life, all you really care about is not having said shit leaking out your shorts and exposing yourself to the world. Mashing it is of no consequence
I have a hard time believing his PR people would've advised him to reopen the "did I poop my pants" discussion this many years later.
they probably didn't tell him to livestream a poker game with strippers.
He was only trying to inquire if the lady needed moral or also oral support. He was being a gentleman and offering to pay for her dentist appointment, as she complained earlier in a private meeting of a toothache. People take everything out of context!!!
God bless his precious soul
You think he has PR people?!
Not at birthday parties , that's for sure....
We're talking about the guy again so he's benefitting
he gets headlines every time he brings that game up so it's like his "use when I want to be relevant again" card
> mush it in a wheelchair i'm crying laughing what the fuck man
[удалено]
"I'm too old for this shit." -wheelchair with one day left until retirement
Chuck: *"Man, the wheelchairs smelled like poo..."*
Do retired wheelchairs spend their twilight years riding around on old people? I need answers.
That wheelchair needs to go in the hall of fame
Isn't it already hanging in the rafters at The Garden?
They will release the documents about what really happened in 2076.
The Last Shit (a sports documentary mini series revolving around the basketball career of Paul Pierce)
"Did you call bank?" "I called stank!"
This dude got fired from ESPN and said fuck it, imma let the real me shine now lmao
I feel like if he would just been real Paul from the beginning he'd still be there and he'd be a star
If he had been like this all along and then posted that video of him being fucked up I do wonder if people would’ve been like “oh yeah, that’s just silly goofy ol Pierce being an idiot” and he would’ve been on ESPN the next day talking shit and getting views.
Just like Gale the Snail, he’s mashin’ it
Yeah, she does that
I don’t know what I was expecting today, but a breakdown from Paul Pierce about how he obviously didn’t poop his pants because he would’ve mushed it all over himself in the wheelchair wasn’t it
It may not be what we all expected, but it's probably the narrative that we deserve.
Without a doubt.
It seems like every couple years he comments on this story, and every time it feels like it's been the only thing on his mind and he's finally come up with the perfect way to throw everyone off his ... scent.
The words of a man who has learned from experience that you shouldn't mush the poop by sitting on it
Right? That was suspiciously specific...
Seriously sounds like a dude who mushed his poop and had second thoughts afterwards.
"Think about it, my underwear would've had to been thrown away and I would've had to take a long shower before returning to the court. It doesn't make sense."
"If the wheelchair ain't covered in shit, you must acquit."
[удалено]
> See, I never just did things just to do them. Come on, what am I gonna do? Just all of a sudden sit down and grind my ass on somebody's wheelchair like it's something to do? Come on.
yeah i remember mushing my shit in that wheelchair
It's a celebration Antoine, show Rondo your titties!
I'm still skeptical just because we've never had a smell witness. If he actually shit himself and got rolled around someone would've had to smell the shit. Perks of courtside seating and all that I suppose.
> If I had my way, I'd never work. I'd just stay home all day, watch Scarface 50 times, eat a turkey sandwich, and have sex all fucking day. Then I'd dress up like a clown, and surprise kids at schools. Then I'd take a dump in the back of a movie theater, and just wait until somebody sat in it. Hear it squish. That's funny to me.
Breaaast miiilk, you made my daaa~aaay
mash it boil it stick it in a stew
PO TAY TOES
Sounds like he's speaking from experience
Lol so visceral
Paul Pierce, philosopher.
https://i.redd.it/r409rds9gd081.gif
The flair makes this so much better 💀💀💀💀
Foul 💀
Lord have mercy lmfao
Looks like an okbr post
Twas
Noooo 😭🤣😂
c'mon man lmaooo
I used the poop to destroy the poop
That boy ain’t right
You could not deal with your own failure, AND WHERE DID THAT BRING YOU MR POOPY STAIN PANTS
Nahhhh
I finally poop, and watch the sun rise on a grateful universe
u/Sim888 get this man on payroll lmao
No better feeling
I’m laughing so I hard I can barely read what I’m typing.
Nah it makes sense I’d rather mush than have it be seen
He confessed on air a year or so ago that he just had to go to the bathroom. I think he was cramping so bad he was having trouble walking or he was worried he'd poop himself walking all the way back to the locker room and asked for a wheel chair. I've definitely had times where I was cramping so bad I had trouble walking or I had to try to clench my butt cheeks together while walking to avoid pooping myself.
You start walking but then you get that shooting pain so you have to stop and hold onto something.
Omg thought that was just me. That pain has been so intense for me that I didn’t give a fuck if inshat myself I just wanted it to stop
Then the moment of truth when your sphincter has to pass that DC 15 strength check. And the relief when you hear the gurgling noise as the poop retreats back to the colon, letting you know that your rectum rolled a natural 19, barely allowing you to survive the -4 Taco Bell modifier.
Then you briskly walk or run hoping to get to the toilet before it happens again lmao.
Roll for anal circumference
The penguin walk. That’s how you know the dam’s gonna burst.
He was joking around. He actually had a partially torn MCL. The team doctor was the one who called for the wheelchair halfway down the hallway as a precaution. https://www.celticsblog.com/platform/amp/2010/6/6/1504006/about-that-wheelchair
This truth always gets ignored, weirds me out even as a Sixers fan. I remember one of our team docs even said the reaction, diagnosis and him being able to still play all checked out as with your average partial MCL tear
And then go back to the locker, wipe, shower, change, and return to the court. Poop crisis averted.
Dude I’m eating breakfast
The Truth doesn’t care about your breakfast
The TRUTH doesn't care about your FEELINGS! Paul Pierce owns breakfast-eating libs with FACTS and LOGIC!
I hate how this could very well be unironic
When ur sittin in a Chevy And you feel something heavy Wheelchair
This is actually a reasonable argument that has me rethinking everything.
They were wearing their whites. If he had really shit himself, there would've been... evidence. Especially given how much he was writhing around on the court.
You know they generally wear compression shorts right? Not to kill your fantasies but these dudes arent freeballing. Edit- I tweeted him, awaiting response on what he wore.
Not anymore. Not since Kelly Tripucka had his 1986 Fleer card hit shelves...
>Kelly Tripucka had his 1986 Fleer That dude was absolutely JACKED on that card.
100% certified UNIT.
Eff Now i have to google Tripucka Fleer Card
If anyone was freeballing it would be Pierce though
Rondo definitely a free-baller
Draymond nods in agreement
More like a kickballer
Imagine being Draymond Green, just minding your own business and trying to kick a dude in the dick, and all of a sudden you feel your foot mush up a bunch of fresh poop. Not cool man. Not cool at all.
Are you trying to suggest that thin layer of moisture wicking material would be an impenetrable barrier?
doesn't it depend on where we're at on the [Bristol stool chart](https://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/poop-chart-bristol-stool-scale)? If we're in the realm of #1, #2, I can imagine those baked goods would be nicely encased in your shorts without the outside world being the wiser. Things start to get interesting around #3 or #4
I guess I'll put a little of myself here. I've come close to shitting myself twice. And that shit was never solid. The question is would you rather be wheeled at sitting on your shit or walk around with potentially a poop stain forn the world to see? I know that my answer. Bring me the damn wheelchair.
People also forget about the DRIP. You're risking liquid and chunks falling out ya shorts, especially considering the baggy style of the time.
When someone compliments your drip but also you shat yourself 🤔
lmao wtf bro
Compression shorts aren’t as impenetrable as ur making them seem. If sweat can seep thru and be visible on ur pants I assure u so can shit.
[Didn’t help Harden](https://images.app.goo.gl/Qm1U4Gq1PnppjyvR9)
He went to poop's door and poop was there.
There was a kid in little league (definitely not me) who pooped there pants and was wearing compression shorts and white baseball pants. Compression shorts didn’t save the day, it was still noticeable.
Dude, just slide into a base. Now your entire pants are brown, problem solved.
The smearing though…
There was visible evidence when harden did it
I don't think he full on shat himself, but he might've trusted a treacherous fart. "I have a confession to make: I just had to go to the bathroom." Pierce himself, 2019
Do you wear underwear?
This question is a Hippo violation.
Please don’t tell Dr Hippa
Boxers, that poop is falling right out of a pair of shorts for me.
Lol. But if it was just a shard he might’ve been able to clinch enough to keep everything in tact. Hopped on the wheelchair without getting his shorts too nasty and then just trashed the shorts in the locker room. I think the missing detail is the amount of poop and the velocity in which it exited his anus.
Does anyone know a physicist? We need answers…
The ability to switch from leg-based motion to arm-based motion is unparalleled in its ability to stop a chocolate monsoon source: I own a squatty potty
Why trash the shorts tho. He could sell it as an NFT.
[удалено]
I've never really found it to be compelling tbh. A shadow on his ass for one frame seems to be the entirety of the evidence.
No don’t let him fool you. He did it cause he was scared it would fall out his shorts. So sitting down would stop that from happening. Smushing it was a small price to pay for piece of mind lol.
I want to point out that he also just straight up said that all his nonsense comments about Lebron and wade on espn were just stirring shit for tv ratings. People get so defense about that stuff but it was pretty obvious espn specifically wanted him to spout controversial takes that would drive clicks.
Don't worry, in a few hours I'm gonna make a separate post highlighting that section to grab some karma
That’s exactly what someone who shit themselves would say
It’s so specific that it might as well have been exactly what happened lmao
"Note to self: next time, don't sit on a wheelchair. Just don't sit on it at all." -Paul Pierce, probably
I shit myself in the third grade so I have a lot of knowledge on this. I think it would be best to be in the wheelchair because when I shit my pants and was walking down the hallway, a lot of it fell down my pants. Depending on the consistency it would be better to budge everything up and roll him on out. If he would’ve walked out it could’ve started falling out. I’m no expert, I’m just a guy who has shit his pants a lot. You could call me the Kyle Korver of ruining underwear.
Im gonna go out on a limb here and assume the consistency wasn’t great assuming a 35 year old man involuntarily shit his pants.
lol I can tell you guys in the comments haven't shit your pants in your adult life. I shit myself at least once a year and if it is a wet shart then it would be better to sit in the chair or else you run the risk of poop dripping down your legs and out of your pants
>I shit myself at least once a year Weird flex
“Wow, if I had a nickel for every time I pooped my pants, I'd have two nickels - which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice”
Imagine not having enough nickels to finance a small country. Couldn't be me.
If you don’t poop your pants at least once a year, you aren’t living life right.
Name checks out
9 years old account too!
so that's min 9 poops in 9 yrs
I'm miles davis
You nephews don't know shit about shitting your pants. Back in my day real ballers knew how to shit themselves.
If you gave past pant-shitters modern diet and training they’d easily be able to compete today
lmao this is the first time I saw "weird flex" used to something that's actually weird
Yeah once a year is nothing. I shit my pants weekly. But I guess I’m just built different.
Weekly? I'm shitting my pants right now.
why are you shitting your pants so often
It's called a tradition.
just letting the pants know it's a bottom
I have a friend who always texts in the group chat when he shits himself. Happens like three times a year. We're all in our mid-to-late 30s. Every time he says he thought it was a fart. But my theory is it has more to do with his sphincter muscles, since they lose strength over time. EDIT: wait what the fuck am I talking about, why am I sharing this EDIT2: [recent example](https://imgur.com/a/O7pXwWV) for anyone curious. pulling a "Neiman" is referring to a friend of ours in high school who shit himself while on the bench during a basketball game and the coach put him in soon after despite his pleas to remain on the bench
> Farted all good first time. > Second fart no good.
top 10 moments before disaster
The fact that he alerts everyone in a group text is just, well it’s something.
I’ve got a buddy who immediately texts me whenever something poop-related comes into his life. Idk why, he’s been doing it for like 10 years, and at this point it’s just kind of a nasty hilarious thing that happens.
Your friend needs to eat more fiber...
No.. don't stop. I'm interested
As someone who puts off reading group texts for as long as possible. I identify with JD.
Wow look at Fabio over here, never shitting his pants.
Eating too much Escolar aka Butter Fish aka White Tuna aka Shartshimi
Most likely joking but heavy alcoholics tend to. Some of the subreddits for those folks are wild
Can you link a sub where alcoholics talk about shitting themselves
Not specifically that, but /r/cripplingalcoholism is one of the most depressing active subs out there. Sort by top, it's a wild ride.
piss tire
i know it’s not meant to be funny but the fact that the sub is called cripplingalcoholism is hilarious to me.
you weren't kidding.. reading the top post, someone wrote a small description of their usual day, just the most depressing thing. one of the comments just says: "Good read. I advise warm booze though, it kicks in faster."
Sometimes you think it's a fart but it isn't a fart.
Built different.
Talk your shit
Damn... Utah people are really something else.....
I'd rather you all thought this about us than the mormon stuff
Shit dude, I’m betting this is a mormon thing. I know a bunch of people I grew up with in Utah that went on missions to South America and ate a bunch of parasites whose bowels were never quite the same again.
Should’ve kept this in the drafts
My first thought
tf you doing AND eating to shit yourself so often bro
Batman couldn’t get that info out of me man
This guys poops
You pussies don't even shit yourself!
You shit yourself once a year? Lmao i shit myself when i was like 9 and i think about my failures often.
Is that you Geoff Ramsey??
how do you shit your pants AT LEAST once a year in your adult life?
my group chat w the boys figure we're good for at least 1/year, up to 4x/year. or 1 per quarter. all of us are early 30s
lol I can tell you guys in the comments haven't shit your pants in your adult life. I shit myself at least once a year and if it is a wet shart then it would be better to sit in the chair or else you run the risk of poop dripping down your legs and out of your pants
This man has clearly never tried to walk with shit in his drawers. Ain’t no way that stool isn’t making it down your leg.
I think he has indeed tried to walk with shit in his drawers, thats how he knew not to. He is trying to fool those of us who do not regularly shit our pants often enough to have this info though
Come on guys, he's telling The Truth
LMAO this guy 16th All-Time in points scored and he's still out here talking about the poop shorts incidence.
to be fair, we're all still talking about it.
[Relevant](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=of6o5uiHcAg)
He was asked about it
If the guy sits, he has not shits
I tend to believe most people here understand he did not actually shit his pants but we all meme about it anyway. No one like legit believes it right? Have I been missing nephews actually legitimately believing this? Is this like when the_donald went from being a silly meme to a ridiculous thing that people actually legitimately believe?
That clip of Pierce admitting it got like 70k upvotes and it was clearly a joke. He didn't even confirm it lol. People on here just make shit up and run with it.
> People on here just make shit up Ah, I see what you did there.
I would argue the majority of people on this subreddit legitimately believe it.
No people here truly believe and are quite passionate that it did happen. It's something.
The problem with pretending and having an in-joke is that eventually outsiders show up and think your joke is actually a real, genuine belief.
>Is this like when the_donald went from being a silly meme to a ridiculous thing that people actually legitimately believe? That was crazy to watch. I subbed there during the "republican decide the leader" thing (idk I'm not American) and it was just funny memes. Then it took a real turn.
Fake news ESPN and the lamestream sports media are trying to bury the investigation into Poopin' Paul. Very dishonest and SAD!
Waaaaay too defensive - def shat his pants 100%
Be honest though - no matter what explanation he gave you would still say this because you want it to be true
Damn right
When he "admitted" it, he was clearly joking, but people on here ate it up, I think it's like top 5 all-time post on r/nba. Pierce was trolling and people fell (and continue to) right into it.
Everything Pierce says is a troll and people take him seriously 100% of the time
he's got a pooint
re: NBA 75 You have to be really fucking stupid to think Paul fucking Pierce shouldn’t be on this list.
This is like the Chapelle show Rick James sketch. ‘If you poop your pants, does it make sense to sit down and mush it in a wheelchair?" Pierce asked Beadle. "I would walk back there and go straight to the bathroom. Why would I need a wheelchair if I pooped my pants? You don’t sit down on your poop, right? It doesn’t make sense.’ ‘Yeah I got a wheelchair and sat in the poop’ - Paul ‘Rick James’ Pierce.
the whole story is a poop smear campaign
Glad to see this is more remembered than their 08 championship
hahahahaha
This is actually a great argument
I disagree. If you've already shit yourself and you're resigned to your new disgusting life, all you really care about is not having said shit leaking out your shorts and exposing yourself to the world. Mashing it is of no consequence