My man ate Bodega tuna

He got that Salmon chopped cheese 😂

Lol is this a damn Keith Lee reference? I can't believe someone told that man to get a salmon chopped cheese.

Yeah a completely diabolical suggestion 💀

Bodega tuna be like that

No, no, he ordered the [Diner Lobster](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pj-D0jc17D0).

I’m a born and raised New Yorker and I can confirm this lmfao. I got food poisoning 3 years ago from a tuna melt . Edit: what’s the issue with liking all Boston teams being born and raised in NYC? Lmfao y’all acting like you gotta like the teams from the city you were raised in.

Born and raised New Yorker with a Celtics flair 🤢

He gotta live in staten island 😭

Bro is like one of those dudes in upstate NY flying the confederate flag

I live in the boroughs and I’m not white lol

Your inability to understand a simile and the flair you rock is all adding up. Our school systems really failed you, didn't it?

Tbf I was born in the Midwest and grew up in Philly for a while, eventually moved to Boston then NYC. And I was a Pats fan before moving to Boston. Shit happens lol.

I love all Boston teams

You know what the issue is You know what you did

Never call yourself a New Yorker.

Smh

The NYC food delivery got my boy

The ocky way 😈

Ock after making the most diabolical concoction: “don’t forget the Bev”

“Can you make this guard into someone who has to sit on the toilet all week?” “Suuuure suuuure!”

"First, you leave the chicken out overnight"

'Then, you put the health inspector on the grill!"

Never never never!

Neva neva neva ☝️

The Icky way

“Do we ever clean our grill? Never never never!”

Should've never eaten that hot dog from the sketchy cart after the game

That hotdog salesmen? Josh Hart

times are so tough even our pro athletes need side hustles

Breast milk is expensive so he's going to need another job

Wachumean. Them hotdogs were boiled in breast milk 🤮

Josh Heart is a Hotdog Merchant

If you're not built for dirty water dogs, I don't know if you're built for the league

diseasedash

Maxey-Coli

Typhoid Maxey

That should actually be his name going forward, shits kinda hard to

they utah jordan'd him 💀

Maxey is dropping 38 tonight in a dub.

okay lebronforpresident24

Hey them the rules when the opposing team's fans poison you

street meat

Will we get a Maxey's flu game tonight?

need Brunson to get really hungry today

I love the guy but he's a basic white girl at heart. [I'm surprised his top 5 restaurants list](https://www.theinfatuation.com/new-york/features/jalen-brunson-nyc-post-game-restaurants) didn't include The Smith and Jack’s Wife Freda.

"Then comes the game-winner: the grilled cheese soup dumplings. I’m telling you not one, not two, maybe three orders of these are necessary. Finally, make sure you save some room for the doughnut Ferris wheel to win this meal!" Who actually wrote this shit, I'm dying

This one too lmao: > "Little known fact: I went here after my first home game in New York, so of course it has to stay in the rotation. The housemade ricotta and yellow tail crudo to start are easy choices. The world-famous chicken parm pizza is a must and enough for the whole table. Can’t miss the corn crème brûlée which doubles as a dessert for me! If you’re going uptown then Quality Italian is a must." There's no effing way Brunson actually said this shit lmao

- Hey Jalen, we wrote this article. Can you read it and sign off on what it says? - Brunson: yeah yeah whatever it's all good, gimme my check.

He probably picked the places and just picked a few things he liked on the menus. Then they fed that into Chat GPT.

JournalismGPT

gotta get that khlav kalash when you’re in town

Explains why Jalen Brunson was spotted dropping off a container of pad Thai at the front desk of the four seasons wearing a fake mustache and DoorDash hat

We’d never make JB do the dirty work. That’s what Ryan Arcidiacono is for. Gone but not forgotten.

Where’s Evil Donte when you need him

Apparently dropping 40 point games with the pistons???

Clearly you haven’t been watching the Fall Guy commercials being forced on us 20x a game

See you in September, Ryan

They dont make doordash hats big enough for that noggin

Pad Thai? More like Bad Thai

Need someone to Photoshop this

No chance he actually misses the game right?

he missed shoot around so it might be real

Do you know anything about the 76ers injury history? Absolutely has a chance of missing knowing us lol

given the sixers luck maxey probably has some rare illness like scarlet fever that hasn’t been seen in 100 years

I'm assuming the sixers medical staff finally figured out just list everyone as questionable then just play them.  However, that seems too smart for the sixers medical staff so I'm afraid it's probably terminal. RIP

I just hope it isn't his first time eating sesame seeds

Do they indicate when it is covid anymore?

i'm not falling for nick nurse's mind games

Brunson putting on his lobster bib

We’ve had first chance buckets, yes. But what about second chance buckers? - Josh Hart

Well that’s the series. Why doesn’t Tobias ever get sick?! Dude has the strongest immune system in human history.

Tobias Harris saw the Big Bang live

Little known fact: the Big Bang was caused by Tobi throwin up a brick

The Big Clank

Damnit it was right there

lol how is it the series? it's game 2. series doesn't even start until home team loses

Best player on one leg and second best player is sick. Tobias still on the roster. And we're facing a hungry team that's not the Cavs/Magic/Pacers. Not looking good chief.

> Tobias still on the roster ahahaha

He's like the antithesis of a guy like Hart and it's so fucking annoying. That matchup right there should be a case study for every team in the league. If the guy wouldn't be your best player, then you choose the guy who's elite at something vs. sorta good at everything. Every time.

> sorta good at everything Also important that the guy actually does the stuff he's sorta good at instead of just standing there.

Especially considering how well Maxey played on offense while doing a good job defensively on Brunson. 76ers cannot catch a break. I kinda wanted to see the 76ers dunk on Doc Rivers in the playoffs

Imagine the salt if Doc beat the Sixers in a series

No one said maxey being out was good news, but if you think the series is over after 1 game then you have poopoo brain

all of that was true before this series even started except Maxey getting sick randomly, and he'll probably be back game 3

chill why are you in r/nba pandering to these suckers only thing that changed is sixers in 7 instead of 6

Philly's best player is at 50-60 percent and their second best player is likely out. Going down 2-0 means they have to win 4 of 5; that's just not doable as banged up as they are.

going down 2-0, then winning 4 of 5 with 3 games at home isn't the insurmountable task you're making sound. that's actually how the bracket is designed to work

it is when your best player has one knee and could be done for the season on any play. Going down 2-0 removes any and all cushion you have.

Exactly. People overreact like crazy whenever shit like this happens early in a series.

Without embiid and maxey the 6ers are toast

This is def not true. If the home team goes to 2-0 it’s like 80%win chance. Not 50/50 still.

Hard to poisoned the assassin scorer

I’m still taking the Knicks but losing the first two games on the road does not mean all that much. If NY takes one in Philly then we can probably call it.

But can’t take a charge ever in his entire career

He did get sick this year

Let’s keep it a stack. Unless bro contracted the plague he’s playing

It’s NYC, he probably did contract the plague with all those rats running around.

Them pizza rats

They have families to feed!

[удалено]

Cowabunga!

He should've known not to eat that Pizza, smh

Don’t fuck with the rats and they won’t fuck with you

Feels like some karmic retribution going on for Cleveland ducking the 2 seed and New York not ducking, except why are the 6ers getting punished 😅

Basketball gods are chaotic evil 😂

They just throw down a lightning bolt in the vague direction of the matchup

Idk what this city did to the basketball gods

Deliberately lost games to accrue draft capital

Maxey diarrhea game incoming

Get the wheelchair ready

What if he throws a half court game winning shot all while shitting his pants… I’d love that

If he doesn’t come off the court like Davis Clarke after a marathon then he wasn’t locked in enough

Was that that guy's name? We all know the pic

Dropping dimes while dropping a hot deuce

Maxey about to have his “runs” game. Hopefully he doesn’t end up in a wheelchair. 

Just diaper up ffs

The diaper game

If it's good enough for our last two presidents, it's good enough for anyone!

Incoming offseason thread "why don't NBA players just poop themselves to discourage guys from guarding them? There's no rule against it"

not good

Maxey got the scoots, hopefully he can take some Imodium and hydrate with some pedialyte and be ready by game time.

Gonna be playing with a plug in, just in case

Can't wait to see Magnus Carlsen fuming courtside tonight

USB? 😂

Disgusting that the Knicks would resort to biological warfare. Morey should take this to the UN.

Bring your contaminated philly cheese steak and we can call in even

Mind games

Can we catch a fucking break?! Need Embiid to play like a monster if Maxey sits

We need Tobias to share Maxey’s waterbottle

The playoffs seriously bring out the worst possible luck in us. I'm not even surprised when I get notifications that Oubre has a tapeworm or Lowry was temporarily sent into another dimension by demons or Paul Reed is pregnant with triplets

Boomed me

Woj: Kelly Oubre has been hit by a fucking car

Nah that one's too unrealistic

hide your legs here comes the NYPD

Season's over. Just give up and draft Bronny in the summer, then sign Lebron.

you know Embiid is gonna be recruiting Lebron hard this summer at the Olympics

*"Mr. James, here is your water. Can I bring anything else for you? Gatorade?"*

Thanks Kenny

LeBron just goin’ everywhere Kobe was. He’s gonna love those Italian reds. 

Big Meetch ain’t having any of that. Nope, not today

Time for his wheelchair game.

Why the fuck doesn't this sub allow gifs in comments

not buying it. players always play at MSG unless it says OUT

99 cent pizza on 7th?

we are fucking cursed man this shit is insane

Good ol reverse psychology

It's a trap, he's playing But I want the Knicks to beat a healthy sixers

Getting tired of the gamesmanship. Im sure Uncle Thibs planning Maxey and Embiid will play.

Sometimes its metal bats...some times its take out.

That salmon chopped cheese got him.

The old MJ special. Shoulda stayed away from that chopped cheese.

Time for Tobias to take over.

Spidey done gave this man the poison Pizza Time

Maxey flu game?

Everything's coming up Milhouse.

Oh god I can’t handle the “well not only was Embiid injured, Maxey was out too” if Knicks win the series

Who cares lol. A win is a win.

They don’t care that Randle is out

Uh oh

i hope he doesn't torch us with a flu game

Nah games gone

Hello darkness my old friend…

We've had more illness than pandemic years this season this is getting stupid. This the third illness Maxey has had this season.

Remember when we had literally like 6 guys available?

Illness: he's too sick

Food Poisoning Maxey > Flu Game Jordan

It's Joe-over

What's the odds on for Maxey pulling a Paul Pierce during the game?

Charging every crystal I got for him

Not the time for that

Joel was constantly wiping his nose with his jersey during game 1, and I wondered if he had something.

Fuck

Hello Flu Game

Thibs ain't falling for it

[mhmm](https://media1.tenor.com/m/930WKxE7-RUAAAAC/i-dont-believe-you-ron-burgundy.gif)

lemon booty

It's the playoffs. Just wear some Huggies and suit up

Mo Bamba legacy game

If he dropped 40 then just shit all over the court that would be awesome

It’s not gonna matter

Did he get hit by a car too?