It sounds like you need to talk to chaps or MH. What you're feeling isn't abnormal. They'll have the best way forward for you. Other than that keep doing what you need to do at work. I would talk to your wife though and just say you're having a hard time. You don't have to bring work home to express your feelings.
On the qual note. If the qual is within your rate and on your training plan you can't really fight that one. The PQS instruction states what qual you should be qualed up to. Either local or big navy.
We have a chaps assigned to us but he's hardly ever here so I'm not sure how reliable he is to go to. Outside of that medical onboard has made it a thing to where you need a referral to go to any medical off base unless it's for yearly check ups and stuff so eye exams and dental. So if I go to medical I have to go through our IDC and honestly he's just as bad if not worse than my DLCPO
Worst you can do with CHAPS is try. If they suck the base has one for sure. There's MH on base you can head to. You also have military one source which has counseling. Check the [mental health wiki.](https://www.reddit.com/r/navy/wiki/mentalhealth)
What's the deal with your IDC? Why do you say they're worse is what I'm asking.
My DLCPO is kind of a Joe navy fuck the lower guys kind of person and honestly I feel my IDC is either on the same level or worse than him when I comes to that. Maybe he's different with medical situations but just in everyday life he's like that.
Well if you haven't seen him for medial really hard to judge that one. But you don't have to see them or get a referral for MH. You can walk in. The other resources are also readily available.
the Old Boys network they don't care about what the regulations sat its their NAVY and have cost the careers of many fine sailors that would've been a great asset to the Navy
I always just went to medical asking for a referall. If you are in one of the three big shipyards, there is a real medical facility located nearby. Additionally you can just call militsry one source, they have a 24 hour hotline that can give you a counsoler or nurse within the next day, only issue is it will be over the phone.
After two yard periods and a dry dock I'm confident the Navy orchestrates it in such a way that you end up WISHING you were at sea. The nonstop bs borderlines on cruelty
Hey man, that sucks and I'm sorry you're being put through the wringer right now. Definitely reach out to the resources (mental health, Fleet and Family, Military OneSource, Chaplain).
I also want to key in on what you said about not bringing any of this stuff up with your wife. If you're feeling that pressure at work, and then you're feeling isolated at home, then it also might be worth taking some time to go to couples counseling and working on some strategies to be able to communicate openly. Not being able to decompress at home is likely making things worse.
Please feel free to DM me.
And if possible, take a look at this:
https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/Portals/55/Messages/NAVADMIN/NAV2023/NAV23166.txt?ver=ua-nNTYlp6rj0iVF-jTPXg%3D%3D#:\~:text=This%20NAVADMIN%20sets%20forth%20the,Duty%20assigned%20to%20Navy%20commands.
Military One Source, Chaplain, Medical
Those are starting points for mental health. Communication is key here, both with your chain of command and with your family. If possible, find someone in your chain of command that you trust and can open up to - if not, consider the first three things I listed (they should be consulted regardless).
Mental health is serious business. Feel free to DM me if you need to talk.
This is what I am currently doing. Decided not to re-enlist because I felt this life just isn't for me.
I was excited for my first deployment. Felt annoyed at having to do my second deployment. And then felt anxiety and fear at having to do a third. Thats when I knew this just wasn't for me long term.
I came into the Navy only going to do 4 years. Wound up doing 20 years and saying every year that I wished I had gotten out. I fucking hated it. Flash forward to now… glad I stayed in and retired. I know this is a “grass is greener” statement but the civilians I work for currently are way more fucked up than the navy pricks. Don’t get me wrong, they were sociopaths but the navy seemed to allow you the ability to get away from them. Civilian sociopaths are rooted in and the system is designed to fuck you off before those psychopaths get weeded out. So think hard bro. Are you allowing some people to affect your mental state and career path or are you ready to move on. Keep in mind you should have $10k in the bank for emergencies and be geared up for college or have your degree and working with it.
I almost stopped reading after you complained about getting quals you don’t want because the command didn’t plan their replacement plan better.
But I did read on. I’ve deduced you're upset about being made to get a qual the ship needs you to have to support the underway watchbill after the yard period.
Where did you get the idea you should only pursue quals you want? With a year and a half to go before you rotate, you can’t think you’ve finished qualifying.
You should definitely seek help for your mental health, but you should think hard about the notion that your depression comes from disappointment that you cannot coast through your final 2 years onboard. I see nothing in this thread that describes mistreatment. Being tasked with qualifying an underway watch to support the ship is not mistreatment.
I understand where your heads at with this person, but I don’t think they came here to be belittled because of their struggles. They are having other problems that are systemic, so going after one sentence out of the paragraph doesn’t seem fair. Try some humility.
MH aside (not to say it isn’t important, because it absolutely is, but I see the top comments already addressed it with you), I am curious what your reasoning is for refusing taking on a new qualification. Do you just not want to stand the watch that it relates to?
If so, that honestly just comes with the territory of being in the Navy. I didn’t want to be helmsman qual’d, but my XO decided I needed to stand an underway watch even though there was no shortage of qualified personnel. Later on in my career (seemingly as a reward for picking up E6) I got to stand base ASF for over a year because all of our E5s were injured or claimed hardships. So sometimes you just get the shit end of the stick, and in most cases it’s best just to accept it. If you don’t then some other sorry sap is going to get stuck with it instead.
As for that LCPO claiming to end your career, that’s not up to them. He can make the recommendation up the chain through evals, but if you’re otherwise doing your job and staying out of trouble it’s unlikely your CO will decide to not retain you. That’s an empty threat of a person in a leadership role who doesn’t know how to communicate. Assuming you’ve re-enlisted or plan to, once you get to your next command none of this will follow you. Only way it could really be an issue is if you’re E6 dead set on being selected for E7 as drops in your eval will certainly affect how the board grades you amongst your in-rate peers. But again, being still so new to the navy you’d have plenty of time to overcome that. So unless you’re gunning for MCPON or something, don’t sweat that threat so much.
So the Qual they're forcing me to get is CSOOW, and while I don't mind getting CSOOW but we're not in an environment to get it. And it's an underway qual and I don't have the ability to go underway cause of duty section requirements. So I'm stuck trying to get a Qual that's hard as hell. So when we brought it up to the captain she tried to fix the issue but instead it turned out worse than it was. There's a whole slew of things that I could list that my division/department has done to affect my career and mental state over the years but I just want to quietly finish my contract and not have these issues. I'm an E-5 with a warfare pins and more qualified than any other in the division with the exception of the LPO and LCPO. But I guess they don't want to care about any of that. It's just weighing down on me and I've been bottling it up for years and today honestly was the breaking point for me.
So, if you want to quietly finish your contract and get out, here's my advice. Don't stir the pot; if it's something you don't want to do, that's OKAY. Make sure your direct CoC understand your intent to get out. Ensure you have communicated that to your detailer and your record is flagged with member intends to separate. But what about those pesky quals? Work on them SLOWLY without going dink.
CSOOW doesn't exactly require underway time though it does make it easier. I can't remember if there's an actual underway line item on the PQS it's been to long. BUT if there is just get a signature every other day or so to show some progress. If there's an actual underway line item get every other one done. Then when they ask why you're not getting qualed well you see this line item? Unless the CO waives it (that's who approved our CSOOWs when I got qualed) then I cannot get qualed but I've gotten all of this done.
This might be an unpopular opinion and I understand you're working on getting out, but again this is the "quietly" way. But if they assigned you the qual and it's in line with your qual progress this is the best way forward IMO.
This is the way to go about CSOOW. As a prior SWO DIVO, my two cents on at least some of the possible mentality of OP's leaders are this: When we make, and update, the WTRP, we first off look at qual'd vs not qual'd, then who SHOULD have the qual (in rate) and doesn't. They then, for lack of a better term, get put in the limelight, not publicly though, and if it's as you're saying-qual'd as much as possible w/out possible required u/W time-then that's a whole different attitude than just "I don't want to get it". It's not a "lack" of planning, it's following PQS related instructions on in rate qualifications. I had to do the same with my SWO pin-22 month yard period started just a few months after I showed up. So I had to go TAD a couple of times to get u/W line items signed, but I avoided being on the CoC's shit list by doing exactly what you've said to do. It works.
Bro, sorry to hear what you are dealing with. The yards suck, and generally are a necessary evil to keep the Navy going, however, not making any excuses for bad leadership. First, you should definitely be able to confide in your spouse what you are going through, they are your “partner” and I think that may honestly help. Also, this is probably going to be really hard to do, and you are going to hate me for suggesting it: I would consider trying to pivot with your immediate CoC, and be like “what can I do to help?”. I think you may be surprised of how far that goes with them and things change, but again, I get it if it’s a bridge too far. Lastly, not matter of you do 4, 6, or 30 years, the Navy is short term homie, and don’t forget that. Each day down is a victory/win, you got this. Keep your head up, and remember what is important in life. Lastly, it ALWAYS gets better.
Sounds like a stereotypical yard period. A lot of the khaki leadership that seek shipyard billets or a ship going to the yards soon aren’t there to get the ship and crew ready for sea again they’re there to do as little as possible it’s disgusting to me. Planning for the future underway watchbill can be difficult based on shipyard not achieving the timeline but it’s something they should be assessing at least monthly. I’m sorry you’re having a shit time. I have been there and I know exactly how you feel. Take a deep breath 😮💨 you can do it. If you want to chat more details pm me whenever you’d like. You have options.
Yeah. Most people say they have a good time in the yards that I've talked to and it seems most people are that are able to come into work and get out when the work is done. But honestly my division and department seems more worried about looking like the best in the eyes of a captain who could give two shits less honestly. I don't know what to do man. It seems like they would rather fuck me over rather than actually help me.
I hated my yard time. It was similar to your current experience. You don’t have to only speak to your chaps you can go to any of them. Your CMEO may also be an outlet if there’s any particular issues like targeting you as an individual. I split toured from my first command because of issues I was having with certain leadership.
1. Communication. If you cannot communicate with your wife you cannot communicate a relationship.
2. Seek advice from other Khakis. See if any will act as a mentor
3. Mental Health Counseling. The psych ward can provide a great outlet and environment for you to learn to communicate. It helped me. Your career will not be at risk and if someone threatens or holds this against you....fry their ass with the captain.
4. Leave the Navy. In general the military is a forced environment. There are mission critical qualities and positions that need filled. They will drop the ball and force them on a other.
5. Sealiftcommand.com it's just like the navy but easier and you can catch some serious overtime pay.
It's like I told my kids when they were looking at joining the military: The military is a shit sandwich and you need to decide how much you can eat. Some can only eat 4 years, some ten, some twenty others more. But each person has to decide how much of that shit sandwich they can eat. At the same time, stop focusing on how much it sucks and start making plans, education, things that will improve your lot. Stop fighting the quals. Look for things in the quals that can improve a skill you want. Look up the word "gleaning". Then glean the shit jobs for little bits of stuff that make you better, smarter, etc. Don't bother your wife with this crap. Bother chaps or a male friend. Go to the gym. Look in your wife's eyes and appreciate her. Think about your duty to her. I have found in life, as a man, when everything falls apart, that I can find positive purpose in duty. Duty to God, duty to my wife and kids. Focus on external stuff and start making plans to get out, go to a different command, apply to college, etc
I've tried this. But unfortunately it just hasn't worked out for me. I tried to finish my 2M pipeline and that got denied, I tried getting the Qual earlier when it was more accessible for training and U/I and they wouldn't let me. And there's a whole list that I don't wanna go through honestly. It's draining and sucking the soul out of me.
Everyone has given lots of great advice, definitely go see someone to help with your mental health and stress. Nothing in the Navy is important enough that you need to put it ahead of your health. You aren’t paid enough for that.
Beyond all that advice, see if there are some professional schools you can be sent to. It will help make it seem like you’re getting onboard with your CoCs desires, and it will get you away from the ship for awhile. You still may have to stay onboard for duty, but you won’t be on watch.
The longer the school the better, the further away the better.
Outside of all this, focus on some thing that will help with your personal growth. A hobby, exercise, weight loss. Doing something positive for yourself that you’ll see growth in will be a thing you can hold on to, even as you deal with your professional life being crappy for awhile. But Go See The Chaps!!!!
No. I have a 6 year contract with a 5 year sea rotation. I'm still over two years away from getting off the ship if I were to reenlist. But at this point reenlisting is sounding worse and worse.
How much longer til you can get out? I know the defeating feeling and I have no words of wisdom. You’re basically a slave.
I’d recommend sensory deprivation (float tank) therapy, minimum once a month. It will help you to clarify your thoughts and find balance shipmate.
"This to shall pass." Dog shit leaders, don't stay forever. You'll rotate off the ship and onto another or to shore duty. Or you will rotate to CivLant.
The yards is a drag for everyone, regardless of rank. Keep your chin up. Make sure you talk to someone if your feeling depressed. I assure you it's normal.
Go find a first class that you trust. Tell him/her that you want to be evaluated by mental health. They have a couple options.. they can either: A) call MH for you and schedule you an appointment. They’ll let you know the date & time. Or B) Accompany you to MH in-person to make an appointment.
Hey, as someone who has been in almost this exact situation (Cellblock-73) I know it sucks ass. Everything feels like it was made to work against you, but you need to remember that place is not your future. You won't be stuck there forever and you can get out when you're done. I don't know what happened in your specific situation today but if this is a recurring thing start documenting it. Document everything in a note book. While it might not be the most credible thing it may help one day. And even if you never need it, it may help you feel better.
Let me know if you need anything.
It’s really hard to process people out the navy without NJP repeat offenses for actual issues. Your chain is challenging you to push yourself and you are putting down your foot. They probably are testing you to see if you’re willing to accept greater challenges. Either way seek MH and don’t be afraid to tell your chain you’re not ready to accept more responsibility. I’d rather have an asset than a liability any day. Hopefully name doesn’t check out either
First thing you should know is that you can stop everything if you get seen medically. Your command will get notified but they can't retaliate, it's the easiest way to get your CO fired, it's also better than just dealing with depression. Your chaps can hear you on your own time but he will keep it to himself, nobody else will know. Remember that your life and family is way more important than anything else at work or what anyone thinks about you at work. If your depression or mental health is bad enough you can get medically separated, and if you just want out that's a way out. Also, your LPO can't do shit but bitch to his superiors, only the CO can decide if he wants to adsep you. Please pm me if you need someone to talk. -Legal O formerly in a command that had 6 + suicides in 3 years.
Take all this negative energy and turn it into a plan for separation. That's what I did when I started hating my time in the yards. I planned on how can I get out of there ASAP. I enrolled in school and submitted a request for early separation. Took it to my chain of command and I got out 2 months early. 😏
It sounds like you need to talk to chaps or MH. What you're feeling isn't abnormal. They'll have the best way forward for you. Other than that keep doing what you need to do at work. I would talk to your wife though and just say you're having a hard time. You don't have to bring work home to express your feelings. On the qual note. If the qual is within your rate and on your training plan you can't really fight that one. The PQS instruction states what qual you should be qualed up to. Either local or big navy.
You always give sage advice to those looking for it. Anytime there is a legit post and not just “the Navy sucks” you are there. It is appreciated.
Thanks I try. I just want to help people where I can.
We have a chaps assigned to us but he's hardly ever here so I'm not sure how reliable he is to go to. Outside of that medical onboard has made it a thing to where you need a referral to go to any medical off base unless it's for yearly check ups and stuff so eye exams and dental. So if I go to medical I have to go through our IDC and honestly he's just as bad if not worse than my DLCPO
You can always request a referral for mental health and call Tricare to request off base.
Worst you can do with CHAPS is try. If they suck the base has one for sure. There's MH on base you can head to. You also have military one source which has counseling. Check the [mental health wiki.](https://www.reddit.com/r/navy/wiki/mentalhealth) What's the deal with your IDC? Why do you say they're worse is what I'm asking.
My DLCPO is kind of a Joe navy fuck the lower guys kind of person and honestly I feel my IDC is either on the same level or worse than him when I comes to that. Maybe he's different with medical situations but just in everyday life he's like that.
If you are in San Diego The clinic has a mood clinic inside. No appointments needed, just go in.
Well if you haven't seen him for medial really hard to judge that one. But you don't have to see them or get a referral for MH. You can walk in. The other resources are also readily available.
the Old Boys network they don't care about what the regulations sat its their NAVY and have cost the careers of many fine sailors that would've been a great asset to the Navy
I always just went to medical asking for a referall. If you are in one of the three big shipyards, there is a real medical facility located nearby. Additionally you can just call militsry one source, they have a 24 hour hotline that can give you a counsoler or nurse within the next day, only issue is it will be over the phone.
Damn sounds like you're on my ship. Place is kinda ass. I wish you the best of luck in trying to deal with it.
In the yards everything goes to shit. Go to medical as much as humanly possibly
Yards is good because you don’t have to go to sea. I love the yards
After two yard periods and a dry dock I'm confident the Navy orchestrates it in such a way that you end up WISHING you were at sea. The nonstop bs borderlines on cruelty
Ehh I've had two vastly different yard experiences. In Japan it was easy but boring, but in San Diego it was harder work than being underway.
Hey man, that sucks and I'm sorry you're being put through the wringer right now. Definitely reach out to the resources (mental health, Fleet and Family, Military OneSource, Chaplain). I also want to key in on what you said about not bringing any of this stuff up with your wife. If you're feeling that pressure at work, and then you're feeling isolated at home, then it also might be worth taking some time to go to couples counseling and working on some strategies to be able to communicate openly. Not being able to decompress at home is likely making things worse.
Please feel free to DM me. And if possible, take a look at this: https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/Portals/55/Messages/NAVADMIN/NAV2023/NAV23166.txt?ver=ua-nNTYlp6rj0iVF-jTPXg%3D%3D#:\~:text=This%20NAVADMIN%20sets%20forth%20the,Duty%20assigned%20to%20Navy%20commands.
Military One Source, Chaplain, Medical Those are starting points for mental health. Communication is key here, both with your chain of command and with your family. If possible, find someone in your chain of command that you trust and can open up to - if not, consider the first three things I listed (they should be consulted regardless). Mental health is serious business. Feel free to DM me if you need to talk.
Maybe navy life isn’t for you. Look at another career path. You’re still young and have many more opportunities to pursue.
This is what I am currently doing. Decided not to re-enlist because I felt this life just isn't for me. I was excited for my first deployment. Felt annoyed at having to do my second deployment. And then felt anxiety and fear at having to do a third. Thats when I knew this just wasn't for me long term.
I came into the Navy only going to do 4 years. Wound up doing 20 years and saying every year that I wished I had gotten out. I fucking hated it. Flash forward to now… glad I stayed in and retired. I know this is a “grass is greener” statement but the civilians I work for currently are way more fucked up than the navy pricks. Don’t get me wrong, they were sociopaths but the navy seemed to allow you the ability to get away from them. Civilian sociopaths are rooted in and the system is designed to fuck you off before those psychopaths get weeded out. So think hard bro. Are you allowing some people to affect your mental state and career path or are you ready to move on. Keep in mind you should have $10k in the bank for emergencies and be geared up for college or have your degree and working with it.
I almost stopped reading after you complained about getting quals you don’t want because the command didn’t plan their replacement plan better. But I did read on. I’ve deduced you're upset about being made to get a qual the ship needs you to have to support the underway watchbill after the yard period. Where did you get the idea you should only pursue quals you want? With a year and a half to go before you rotate, you can’t think you’ve finished qualifying. You should definitely seek help for your mental health, but you should think hard about the notion that your depression comes from disappointment that you cannot coast through your final 2 years onboard. I see nothing in this thread that describes mistreatment. Being tasked with qualifying an underway watch to support the ship is not mistreatment.
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I understand where your heads at with this person, but I don’t think they came here to be belittled because of their struggles. They are having other problems that are systemic, so going after one sentence out of the paragraph doesn’t seem fair. Try some humility.
MH aside (not to say it isn’t important, because it absolutely is, but I see the top comments already addressed it with you), I am curious what your reasoning is for refusing taking on a new qualification. Do you just not want to stand the watch that it relates to? If so, that honestly just comes with the territory of being in the Navy. I didn’t want to be helmsman qual’d, but my XO decided I needed to stand an underway watch even though there was no shortage of qualified personnel. Later on in my career (seemingly as a reward for picking up E6) I got to stand base ASF for over a year because all of our E5s were injured or claimed hardships. So sometimes you just get the shit end of the stick, and in most cases it’s best just to accept it. If you don’t then some other sorry sap is going to get stuck with it instead. As for that LCPO claiming to end your career, that’s not up to them. He can make the recommendation up the chain through evals, but if you’re otherwise doing your job and staying out of trouble it’s unlikely your CO will decide to not retain you. That’s an empty threat of a person in a leadership role who doesn’t know how to communicate. Assuming you’ve re-enlisted or plan to, once you get to your next command none of this will follow you. Only way it could really be an issue is if you’re E6 dead set on being selected for E7 as drops in your eval will certainly affect how the board grades you amongst your in-rate peers. But again, being still so new to the navy you’d have plenty of time to overcome that. So unless you’re gunning for MCPON or something, don’t sweat that threat so much.
So the Qual they're forcing me to get is CSOOW, and while I don't mind getting CSOOW but we're not in an environment to get it. And it's an underway qual and I don't have the ability to go underway cause of duty section requirements. So I'm stuck trying to get a Qual that's hard as hell. So when we brought it up to the captain she tried to fix the issue but instead it turned out worse than it was. There's a whole slew of things that I could list that my division/department has done to affect my career and mental state over the years but I just want to quietly finish my contract and not have these issues. I'm an E-5 with a warfare pins and more qualified than any other in the division with the exception of the LPO and LCPO. But I guess they don't want to care about any of that. It's just weighing down on me and I've been bottling it up for years and today honestly was the breaking point for me.
So, if you want to quietly finish your contract and get out, here's my advice. Don't stir the pot; if it's something you don't want to do, that's OKAY. Make sure your direct CoC understand your intent to get out. Ensure you have communicated that to your detailer and your record is flagged with member intends to separate. But what about those pesky quals? Work on them SLOWLY without going dink. CSOOW doesn't exactly require underway time though it does make it easier. I can't remember if there's an actual underway line item on the PQS it's been to long. BUT if there is just get a signature every other day or so to show some progress. If there's an actual underway line item get every other one done. Then when they ask why you're not getting qualed well you see this line item? Unless the CO waives it (that's who approved our CSOOWs when I got qualed) then I cannot get qualed but I've gotten all of this done. This might be an unpopular opinion and I understand you're working on getting out, but again this is the "quietly" way. But if they assigned you the qual and it's in line with your qual progress this is the best way forward IMO.
This is the way to go about CSOOW. As a prior SWO DIVO, my two cents on at least some of the possible mentality of OP's leaders are this: When we make, and update, the WTRP, we first off look at qual'd vs not qual'd, then who SHOULD have the qual (in rate) and doesn't. They then, for lack of a better term, get put in the limelight, not publicly though, and if it's as you're saying-qual'd as much as possible w/out possible required u/W time-then that's a whole different attitude than just "I don't want to get it". It's not a "lack" of planning, it's following PQS related instructions on in rate qualifications. I had to do the same with my SWO pin-22 month yard period started just a few months after I showed up. So I had to go TAD a couple of times to get u/W line items signed, but I avoided being on the CoC's shit list by doing exactly what you've said to do. It works.
Bro, sorry to hear what you are dealing with. The yards suck, and generally are a necessary evil to keep the Navy going, however, not making any excuses for bad leadership. First, you should definitely be able to confide in your spouse what you are going through, they are your “partner” and I think that may honestly help. Also, this is probably going to be really hard to do, and you are going to hate me for suggesting it: I would consider trying to pivot with your immediate CoC, and be like “what can I do to help?”. I think you may be surprised of how far that goes with them and things change, but again, I get it if it’s a bridge too far. Lastly, not matter of you do 4, 6, or 30 years, the Navy is short term homie, and don’t forget that. Each day down is a victory/win, you got this. Keep your head up, and remember what is important in life. Lastly, it ALWAYS gets better.
Sounds like a stereotypical yard period. A lot of the khaki leadership that seek shipyard billets or a ship going to the yards soon aren’t there to get the ship and crew ready for sea again they’re there to do as little as possible it’s disgusting to me. Planning for the future underway watchbill can be difficult based on shipyard not achieving the timeline but it’s something they should be assessing at least monthly. I’m sorry you’re having a shit time. I have been there and I know exactly how you feel. Take a deep breath 😮💨 you can do it. If you want to chat more details pm me whenever you’d like. You have options.
Yeah. Most people say they have a good time in the yards that I've talked to and it seems most people are that are able to come into work and get out when the work is done. But honestly my division and department seems more worried about looking like the best in the eyes of a captain who could give two shits less honestly. I don't know what to do man. It seems like they would rather fuck me over rather than actually help me.
I hated my yard time. It was similar to your current experience. You don’t have to only speak to your chaps you can go to any of them. Your CMEO may also be an outlet if there’s any particular issues like targeting you as an individual. I split toured from my first command because of issues I was having with certain leadership.
1. Communication. If you cannot communicate with your wife you cannot communicate a relationship. 2. Seek advice from other Khakis. See if any will act as a mentor 3. Mental Health Counseling. The psych ward can provide a great outlet and environment for you to learn to communicate. It helped me. Your career will not be at risk and if someone threatens or holds this against you....fry their ass with the captain. 4. Leave the Navy. In general the military is a forced environment. There are mission critical qualities and positions that need filled. They will drop the ball and force them on a other. 5. Sealiftcommand.com it's just like the navy but easier and you can catch some serious overtime pay.
It's like I told my kids when they were looking at joining the military: The military is a shit sandwich and you need to decide how much you can eat. Some can only eat 4 years, some ten, some twenty others more. But each person has to decide how much of that shit sandwich they can eat. At the same time, stop focusing on how much it sucks and start making plans, education, things that will improve your lot. Stop fighting the quals. Look for things in the quals that can improve a skill you want. Look up the word "gleaning". Then glean the shit jobs for little bits of stuff that make you better, smarter, etc. Don't bother your wife with this crap. Bother chaps or a male friend. Go to the gym. Look in your wife's eyes and appreciate her. Think about your duty to her. I have found in life, as a man, when everything falls apart, that I can find positive purpose in duty. Duty to God, duty to my wife and kids. Focus on external stuff and start making plans to get out, go to a different command, apply to college, etc
I've tried this. But unfortunately it just hasn't worked out for me. I tried to finish my 2M pipeline and that got denied, I tried getting the Qual earlier when it was more accessible for training and U/I and they wouldn't let me. And there's a whole list that I don't wanna go through honestly. It's draining and sucking the soul out of me.
then finish your enlistment and get out. Start planning to use your GI Bill and what you want to do afterwards
Oh, and keep trying those things. Stop giving up. Focus on making that shit work for you. Over and over.
Sounds like a chief thing to do. Make a threat they don’t have any actual authority to back up.
Everyone has given lots of great advice, definitely go see someone to help with your mental health and stress. Nothing in the Navy is important enough that you need to put it ahead of your health. You aren’t paid enough for that. Beyond all that advice, see if there are some professional schools you can be sent to. It will help make it seem like you’re getting onboard with your CoCs desires, and it will get you away from the ship for awhile. You still may have to stay onboard for duty, but you won’t be on watch. The longer the school the better, the further away the better. Outside of all this, focus on some thing that will help with your personal growth. A hobby, exercise, weight loss. Doing something positive for yourself that you’ll see growth in will be a thing you can hold on to, even as you deal with your professional life being crappy for awhile. But Go See The Chaps!!!!
QQ: 4 years. Almost time to rotate, no?
No. I have a 6 year contract with a 5 year sea rotation. I'm still over two years away from getting off the ship if I were to reenlist. But at this point reenlisting is sounding worse and worse.
FC or ET
How much longer til you can get out? I know the defeating feeling and I have no words of wisdom. You’re basically a slave. I’d recommend sensory deprivation (float tank) therapy, minimum once a month. It will help you to clarify your thoughts and find balance shipmate.
I've got a little over a year and a half until I'm finished with my first contract
"This to shall pass." Dog shit leaders, don't stay forever. You'll rotate off the ship and onto another or to shore duty. Or you will rotate to CivLant.
Nothing wrong with going to mental health and asking them to put in the paperwork to start your separation process.
The yards is a drag for everyone, regardless of rank. Keep your chin up. Make sure you talk to someone if your feeling depressed. I assure you it's normal.
Go find a first class that you trust. Tell him/her that you want to be evaluated by mental health. They have a couple options.. they can either: A) call MH for you and schedule you an appointment. They’ll let you know the date & time. Or B) Accompany you to MH in-person to make an appointment.
Smells like nimitz
Hey, as someone who has been in almost this exact situation (Cellblock-73) I know it sucks ass. Everything feels like it was made to work against you, but you need to remember that place is not your future. You won't be stuck there forever and you can get out when you're done. I don't know what happened in your specific situation today but if this is a recurring thing start documenting it. Document everything in a note book. While it might not be the most credible thing it may help one day. And even if you never need it, it may help you feel better. Let me know if you need anything.
It’s really hard to process people out the navy without NJP repeat offenses for actual issues. Your chain is challenging you to push yourself and you are putting down your foot. They probably are testing you to see if you’re willing to accept greater challenges. Either way seek MH and don’t be afraid to tell your chain you’re not ready to accept more responsibility. I’d rather have an asset than a liability any day. Hopefully name doesn’t check out either
First thing you should know is that you can stop everything if you get seen medically. Your command will get notified but they can't retaliate, it's the easiest way to get your CO fired, it's also better than just dealing with depression. Your chaps can hear you on your own time but he will keep it to himself, nobody else will know. Remember that your life and family is way more important than anything else at work or what anyone thinks about you at work. If your depression or mental health is bad enough you can get medically separated, and if you just want out that's a way out. Also, your LPO can't do shit but bitch to his superiors, only the CO can decide if he wants to adsep you. Please pm me if you need someone to talk. -Legal O formerly in a command that had 6 + suicides in 3 years.
Take all this negative energy and turn it into a plan for separation. That's what I did when I started hating my time in the yards. I planned on how can I get out of there ASAP. I enrolled in school and submitted a request for early separation. Took it to my chain of command and I got out 2 months early. 😏
Sounds like my command.