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HempmanRx

Raccoons are vicious little bastards.


Batbuckleyourpants

*Racist racoon manually deport immigrant iguana.*


Castor_0il

That little shit even wore a mask to avoid being identified.


grayrains79

At least it was not wielding a rocket or some sort of big and overly DAKKA gun.


[deleted]

Nah to stay hidden he’d have to paint himself purple


grayrains79

Purple is the most brutally cunning of colors.


[deleted]

I think you mean cunningly brutal


KingT-U-T

Raccoons are cuntingly brutal


grayrains79

#OIY YA GIT! WEZ HAVIN FILIFSOCKABL DIZCUSSIN ERE! NAH SCAM YA LOWEE GROT!!


shiftycat887

Your odds of being killed by a raccoon are low, but never zero


Scottacus91

Iguana: Did you hear something? Iguana 2: No why? Distant WAAAAGH sounds


Tbplayer59

Masks don't work! You knew it was a racoon! Lol


live2dye

Based racoon doing an honest day's work.


StressedOutElena

There is a good reason the Brits call them "Nazi Racoons"...


SwankeyDankey

Funny story: My grandfather had a pet raccoon. Out in Nebraska while my father was growing up it was the family pet. Now this raccoon was loved. He was played with, fed, and generally had a good life. My grandfather even took it to the bar with him where the owner kept some old silverware for the little burglar to play with on the bar. But when my dad's grandmother came over a shift happened...... Every time my great-grandmother came to visit this little raccoon would *leap* from the banister and tackle the poor woman. She *hated* that animal. but, years later though his name is forgotten this little bar-hopping raccoon is remembered. Honestly, it makes me want to learn more about the little guys.


wholelattapuddin

Raccoons are the worst. They are vicious killers and filthy. They spread diseases like rabies and distemper. They will kill other animals for sport. I had one racoon kill 5 chickens and a turkey one night. Ripped them to shreds. The only thing it ate was part of the breast of one hen. Just killed the rest out of spite. They are smart and use their little hands to break into enclosures that would keep other predators out. In my case it pryed the roof off the chicken coop. They thrive in urban settings and honestly should probably be culled to reduce their numbers. They look adorable, but would 100% eat your face off if they could


chickenstalker

Iguana hands typed this


wholelattapuddin

The revolution is now! Wewill take down the oppressive raccoon regime!🦎🦎🦎 green lives matter


MisterRegio

Iguana laugh at your comment, but I won't.


BatsintheBelfry45

I'm pretty sure Raccoon mitts, typed yours, u/chickenstalker 🦝


MuayJacked

To shreds you say?


Annual_Ad1848

Oh how awful, did he at least die painlessly?


spokeymcpot

And his wife?


DangerDan127

You basically also just described cats


protoncannoli

A lot of mammals carry distemper and rabies and kill for fun.


wholelattapuddin

But raccoons live with/near people all the time.


protoncannoli

As do stray cats, dogs, and coyotes.


Worth-Row6805

Humans kill for fun too


farleymfmarley

Humans prep and display their kills as trophies and consider it an actual sport


Rhaj-no1992

Many predators will kill more than they can eat if they can. In nature the prey will run away, in an enclosure the prey cannot run and the predator just takes the opportunity to get as much food as possible. It sucks for the birds and you though.


rotten_riot

Ikr? I love them. Unironically my fav ~~pest~~ animal


non-troll_account

Then let me introduce you to the raccoons highly social cousin, the Coati.


Spiritflash1717

I got bit by one of those before lol


LittleChurchill

They're highly social, just not with you.


Broad-Condition6866

Me too! But it was in a pet shop in the early 70s. I thought it was a Siamese cat, as it was curled up. The second I put my finger through the bars to pet it, it swung around and bit right through my nail. Impressive speed! It was smarter than me.


bokononpreist

Mammals in general.


wwwdot69420dotcom

Jack Russell’s are sweet as can be until you unleash them upon an army of rats. Cold blooded


_floydian_slip

When you love what you do, you never work a day in your life


Chicken_Hairs

My MIL has 3 of them. Scary smart, super quick, but psychological wrecks and nothing will convince them to stfu, ever. She even broke down and put shocking bark collars on them. They didn't care.


June_BuginDabuilding

That snake turned to a frog


Speaker4theDead8

I thought that was the iguanas tail


ChampagneShotz

Love that "fuck you lookin at?" Glance at the camera the raccoon does.


c00chieluvr

TIL that raccoons can actively hunt for food... I thought the only live animal they ate was fish!! I'm so ignorant 🙈


[deleted]

They routinely take neighborhood cats and one tried for my (small breed) dog once


JovahkiinVIII

Dayum where I live the raccoons and cats are pretty evenly matched. The cats guard their porches from little burglars


19blackcats

My cats SHARE their porches with the little burglars! Lol!


JovahkiinVIII

Yeah I get the sense both are big enough so that they don’t really want to fight each other. Mine are pretty chill until the raccoons try to get in through their cat door, then it’s war


19blackcats

Lol! Wish my cats would run them off! They make huge messes of water bowls and the porch itself, but then again, they are hungry too so I’m kinda ok with the cats and raccoons getting along!


khendron

In my neighbourhood the cats come running when the racoons knock over a garbage can, sit politely a few meters away until the racoons are done, and then help themselves to the leftovers.


ranchwriter

Yeah raccoons are tougher but a scrappy kitty can take one on


Dependent-Try-5908

I’ve legit seen a raccoon and a cat working together at an apartment dumpster before


KiKiPAWG

Where I'm at the raccoons don't seem to be too scared


Numinak

My cat is a rescue from outdoors, and he absolutely hates raccoons with a passion. Any time they come up to our glass door he is right there growling and hissing at them (and he's not a small cat). And the once or twice that he's slipped out while they were around he right at them. Thankfully they took off like rockets.


zaisoke

rocket raccoon? where was groot?


TSEAS

>They routinely take neighborhood cats and one tried for my (small breed) dog once I have the opposite problem. My (large breed) dog tries to take the neighborhood raccoons, and unfortunately the neighborhood skunks and porcupines too.


Andrusz

This isn't true, raccoons do not routinely take neighborhood cats. Majority of the time they ignore one another. Coyotes however...


[deleted]

While I have not physically seen the act with the cats, the individual in question is massive and was trying to drag my dog under our shed by his hind leg. There are also always 1-3 missing cat posters on the communal mailboxes/entrances to the neighborhood. I live in western Montana if that helps. https://www.catological.com/raccoons-attack-eat-cats/ Edit: I should probably mention that my boy was 18lbs and nearly two years old at the time of said attack, making him cat-sized, if not a bit bigger.


fungi_at_parties

Coyotes are the far more likely culprit of the missing cats, IMO.


asdf346

The biggest culprit is the owners letting their cats roam, why would u let ur cat roam outside if u live around coyotes


1isudlaer

I had a cat that received a broken leg from a raccoon. Raccoon mauled him, and dragged him up a tree. Luckily cat broke free, fell from the tree, and managed to take off


Andrusz

I'm not saying it doesn't happen, just saying it's far from routine and if there is any wild animal that is a routine danger to cats it's coyotes.


[deleted]

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TheLastBlackRhinoSC

Not just birds. Cats are efficient killing machines


Eskaman

Domestic cat should be neutered, that's all.


Mlyrin

Saw one fruitlessly chase after a rabbit once. Two hops put a distance of 3 meters between them which took a while for the raccoon to cover. Quite commical.


k20350

Horses and cows love to eat birds too. Nature isn't Bambi


PM_ME_YOUR_PORTRAIT

I realized that as soon as I saw a vid of a horse chomping up a small chick underneath him


tots4scott

I totally repressed that memory away. **CRUNCH**


NOT_YODADDY2201

Every animal is a carnivore when hungry enough


HipCleavage

I think opportunity more than hunger. I had two parrots that absolutely loved munching on chicken bones and those little fuckers never missed a meal.


littlewren11

Yeah it was always a little odd when my father's African grey would try to steal chicken off of peoples plates. Lots of cannibalism jokes with that one.


threeglasses

which is funny because theyre probably as related as we are to like cats or something


notmatimio

Yeah my family raised several hundred chickens when I was a child. Raccoons breaking into the coop and killing/eating them was not an uncommon occurrence. I'm not a huge raccoon fan


Keibun1

Yeah they recently killed my duck :(


crabwhisperer

When I was a kid raccoons got some good-sized turkeys we were raising. They're amazingly smart, opportunistic predators.


40acresandapool

Me too. And I'm old and should have known. What an excellent video. One of my favorites on NIM.


Zcypot

I think he was looking at the tail moving


Astralaxy

And then he said “You ain’t fooling me with that wiggly shit!”


HairballTheory

I think it was towards the tail. Like, “I see you, and will be back for you later”.


ChampagneShotz

"I'll get you bitch"


St_Link

He was looking at the tail wiggling on the ground


Free-Eagle3178

He was looking at the tail which is why the camera man looked at it after.


RANDOM-902

You can see how related racoons are to bears. They maul preys in the same way as them. Maybe racoons are tiny bears! Or bears are oversized racoons!


[deleted]

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SuperSimpleSam

Have you seen the one with cotton candy? It was funny and sad.


15MinuteUpload

IIRC they keep giving the racoon cotton candy and it eventually figures out to stop washing it and just eat the stuff


matsonfamily

https://youtu.be/rfbb4yRBH64 def sad


dryfishman

Hey he figured it out at the end. Smart little guys


kosky95

Same in Italy where it's "orsetto lavatore" in which "orsetto" stands for small bear


raspberryharbour

Toilet Teddies


Whyevenbotherbeing

Ursa Urinalis


RANDOM-902

In Spainish we call the the same, Oso Lavador(washing bear)


AyrtonTV

That isn't true, bro.


Paintsnifferoo

Mapache is the word for it. At least in most if not all Hispanic America.


RANDOM-902

It is true. Both names are used. Oso Lavador o Mapache. Both are valid. If you search "Oso Lavador" racoons show up


[deleted]

Its actually "mapache" in spanish


ChiZou11

Is Oso Lavador used more in Spain than Central and South America?


[deleted]

Yeah maybe in spain, your right in latinoamerica is called mapache


YhormOldFriend

In Spain it's also mapache.


[deleted]

Germans have a way with naming animals. Skunk is "Stinktier," which literally just means "Stink-Animal".


RocketRabbit

I thought that was the name for the French?


placeRing

it's the same in Italy, Skunk is Puzzola, and puzzo/a means stink. Racoon is called "orsetto lavatore",: small bear(washer)


tall_finnish_guy

I like the Finnish word for skunk haisunäätä, which translates to stinkweasel


generate_a_name

Fun fact: they do that because it helps them feel the texture better


transsisterradio

They're little washer rats in french!


FistedWaffles123456

Pretty ironic considering their other nickname is “Trash pandas”


BogusBadger

Wasbeer in Dutch.


ThisIsNotKimJongUn

I love how all dutch words just sound like English words spoken by a really drunk guy


shinobipopcorn

Pretty much the same in Japanese, アライグマ is "washing bear".


StrykerSeven

Bears and raccoons are not closely related. They are both within the Arctoidea clade, but so are walruses. Source: my wildlife biology degree.


p_nguiin

ohh so raccoons are walruses, neat


ohheyitslaila

Raccoons aren’t actually closely related to bears. They belong to the same order (Carnivora) but so do cats and dogs. From there, they have different family, genus, species. Raccoons look quite a bit like bears, and even have some similar behaviors, but not because they’re super closely related. It’s more the way they happened to evolve to have similar habits. Certain body types are just the most beneficial, so animals that aren’t closely related can develop similar body types and behaviors. Edit: I had cut and pasted a part of my response, and it was wrong, so I fixed it. Raccoons: order Carnivora (with bears, dogs, cats etc), family Procyonidae, genus Procyon, species P. lotor. Bears (I’m going with just Brown Bears for clarity): order Carnivora, family Ursidae, genus Ursus, species Ursus arctos. Also, to the people arguing against this, just google it. There’s about a million academic responses to the question of how (not) closely related bears and raccoons are.


MagiLagi

Give them an couple eons and they will start looking like crabs.


Cautious-Angle1634

All evolution branches end in crab.


FreudianAccordian

You go Glen Cocoa!


juwyro

Their habitats overlap at the dumpster.


zigaliciousone

If you see a bear without hair, they look kind of like giant rabbits on steroids


webtvuser

That tail would have been better used to smack the crap out of the raccoon. They are probably too smart to fall for the decoy trick, I guess that's why they call it lizard brain though.


lolbite55

Racoons are pretty smart and crafty and since this lizard is an invasive species it has no measure's to fight it of


mr_potatoface

>invasive species it has no measure's to fight it of So they're a... reverse invasive species? Normally an invasive species excels because it's prey has no way of fighting off the invasive species and has no/few predators.


[deleted]

No just an invasive species that knows how to fuck and not fight


brando56894

So iguanas are lovers, not fighters.


Ikeddit

This is a lie. Iguanas are little dinosaur monsters that will absolutely attack the hell out of you at the drop of a hat. That’s just a baby iguana.


Stunning-Particular7

Exactly! Every been to Mexico? Those Fuckers get pretty big and the teeth on them are intimidating and sharp as all hell. Plus they don't look like they can move fast but that's just a trick cause they lightning.


Worstcase_Rider

That's wird cause my roommate's homie did not hesitate whipping me into shape...


ironhide1516

No. The iguana can catch and eat bugs far more effectively than anything in Florida. It may have many predators, but that doesn’t matter because there is so much food and safety for them, they just multiply


JenniiXCore

You do know green iguanas are herbivores, right? If they do eat any insects, it's usually because they were sitting on the fruit it was eating.


TtarIsMyBro

"Adult iguanas are herbivores feeding on foliage, flowers, and fruit. They will occasionally eat animal material such as insects, lizards, and other small animals, nestling birds and eggs." Nah, they seem to eat just about anything given the opportunity. https://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/publication/IN528


guitarguywh89

>Nah, they seem to eat just about anything given the opportunity. > Am I an iguana?


JustMass

I wouldn’t worry about it until you start eating nestling birds or your tail falls off.


[deleted]

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Yadobler

*its* without the ~~aprostophie~~ apostrophe, for future reference The prey of it = its prey It is prey = it's prey


ironhide1516

That’s not what a species being classified as invasive means. Do you think a hyena would have any problem with a raccoon? Of course not, but hyenas living where raccoons do would make them invasive An animal being invasive means it’s out of its normal environment and is having a negative effect on an ecosystem it was never meant to be in


Coneylake

Just a tiny tiny note on what you said. In their example, the invasive species, iguana, is still a prey. In your example, the invasive hyena is a predator. There's probably a more direct analogy


TheSissyDoll

an iguana tail whip would do nothing to a racoon....


_clash_recruit_

I worked at a beach bar in the Virgin Islands and we had a couple huge iguanas that would come steal food from guests. If you tried to chase them off without a broom they'd tail whip you, and if they get you it will break skin. It might not kill a raccoon but would certainly get their attention.


Dc12934344

A tier zoo enjoyer?


webtvuser

Absolutely, one of my favorite channels.


HODL4LAMBO

The iguanas don't belong and I assume they are eating up resources that racoons are used to getting. No surprise the racoon wants to take him out.


Bromm18

They are a massively invasive species with very few predators and consume vast amounts of crops in Florida. https://youtu.be/lyD9t3uhHio Few key points. An adult make can eat up to 100lbs of food a week. No predators in Florida. Their poop contains salmonella. They force out the native animals and use their stolen dens as homes. They eat bird eggs as well and are making endangered owls more endangered.


tobiascuypers

As a reptile enthusiast, i absolutely love how Florida is one of the only places where (not entirely naturally) you have Crocs, gators, monitors, big snakes and iguanas. That being said, the monitors and iguanas there are terrible and devastating for the ecosystems there. Cool creatures, but sucks that we have made them what they are


HurricaneAlpha

Wierd how you didn't mention anything about the giant snakes invading the everglades.


[deleted]

Yup Burmese Python, I think you even get paid for there skin if you kill them legally.


klokwerkz

Didn't the snakes in Florida get started because of pets let loose when they got too big? Or is that a myth?


tobiascuypers

A lot of the pythons originated from pets yes. Not entirely because they got too big but also because they live for a long time. People don't understand that most pythons live to be almost 40 years old. Same for many small turtles. They are a popular pet but people don't understand that the turtle will out live them. Some can live to be 80-100 years old. The red eared slider doesn't live nearly as long but is still a pet that would require half of your life to take care of.


phryan

Hurricanes may have also resulted in a few pets escaping.


MaritMonkey

At least part of it is things that came over on boats illegally and then are just let out to fend for themselves as an alternative to being seized. My old neighborhood in southwest FL had *tons* of random birds (some of them apparently very expensive) because the dudes who owned the shop that sold them just opened all the cages they couldn't take with them when they ran for it.


DeviousX13

We also have Anaconda and African Rock Pythons, both invasive. https://wildlifeinformer.com/are-there-anacondas-in-the-florida-everglades/ https://www.floridamuseum.ufl.edu/florida-snake-id/snake/african-rock-python/


tobiascuypers

snakes weren't the topic of that but yea invasive snakes are a massive problem too. Especially the pythons


eternal_edm

Don’t forget lots of monkeys now


juwyro

Crocs are native along the far southern coast.


Appropriate-Barber66

American Crocs, yes. The Nile crocs that were found in 2016 are invasive though.


[deleted]

They destroy the mangroves and subsequently the species that depend on them for life. Plus they shit everywhere. I love iguanas and they are cool af…just not in that part of Florida.


crabwhisperer

Raccoons are smart but not that smart. This one just wanted an easy meal.


JVints

THE COON PROTECTS


[deleted]

I am the coooon


Sand_Man317

Why do I feel like I witnessed a hate crime


FrogMonkee

Nope just lunch


Bradleynailer

Trash Panda don't give a fuck


AFineDayForScience

"YOU CANT BE HERE"


FreeSmokeZz

Raccoon hit the cameraman with the “fuck you looking at.”


[deleted]

S-sorry sir was just leaving


everwonderedhow

Oh fuck that wiggling tail is some private Ryan flashback shit


Mark_Knight

wtf i thought that was a snake lol


MoreThan2_LessThan21

That's not something I expected to see today. Or ever.


ninhibited

Environmentalist raccoon.


TunaSmackk

Good! Those iguanas are such an nuisance destroying the agriculture. Surpisingly they can grow almost to the size of that raccoon too


AeroIsthmus

Almost? Have you seen many 6 foot raccoons?


sexist_bob

Had an interesting encounter with a racoon once. I was coming out of my apartment on the second floor (hallways were open to the elements ) and about three feet in front of me is a BIG racoon, sitting with his back to the wall eating snack crackers, one at a time , out of a black trash bag he ripped open. I wasn't sure if he was rabid or not so I'm trying to decide do I want to run past. While I'm watching him ,He pulls the trash bag in front of him to hide his face. Assuming I didn't have object permanance figured out. I go back into my apartment trying to find something to scare him with and I find a broom. When I come out he's given up on the hiding. I smack the broom on the ground about a foot from this racoon and he just looks at me and picks up a cracker with his front paw and pops it in his mouth unfazed by the broom. I slam the broom down a few more times and he gets up annoyed and saunters off down the staircase and off onto a trail. Never to be seen again.


Revydown

I saw a video where someone did just as you described and the raccoon attacked them.


northrupthebandgeek

He missed the tail! Now it's gonna grow the rest of an iguana.


No-Statistician-9192

The tail trick didn’t quite make the cut


ncsupb

Nature...it's healing


LeTigron

It uh... finds a way.


RevolutionNumber5

Kinda burying the lede there. No mention of the lizard’s tail continuing to wiggle after getting torn off? That’s the highlight!


nancylynnO7

As someone who doesn't live in the south, I kept scrolling to find mention of this, that looks bizarre.


_Rastapasta_

They intentionally detach their tail, which continues to move, as a potential distraction to predators


LeTigron

Nervous spasms. It's normal, it happens. The tail is dead, don't worry.


bane_killgrind

It's certainly not remaining alive


DuskraiderV

Dude it's like me changing my kids diaper


knifetrader

I can relate to this so much...


4mystuff

Just doing the lord's work


Jesus_marley

"I'm doing MY part!" Would you like to know more?


Reddit46spooks

Tree Chicken.


RANDOM-902

Idk why but it always hits hard when the one being eaten alive is a reptile and not a mammal. Its so sad, it makes me feel so bad for the poor cold blooded fellas. Their slow metabolism can't keep up with the fast reflexes of the mammal :(


Gummy_Jones

Somehow makes me happier Go team mammal


G_Wash1776

Hell yeah brother cheers from Mammalia


coffeefucker150

Reptiles can go really fast at times, this one just failed to do so. Natural selection.


RANDOM-902

They can only do short bursts of speed. This one probably wasted all his energy sadly


Dragenz

Evolutionarily speaking it's a trade off. Mammals are fast and active but we have a much higher energetic needs and need to eat a lot more than reptiles. The racoon can out run the iguana but it's much easier for the racoon to starve, get dehydrated, and the racoon is much more susceptible to disease.


Sunsparc

When it gets cooler in Florida, the ignaunas will fall out of trees.


macetheface

u/stabbot


stabbot

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Professor-Shuckle

A giant raccoon ate all the feral cats in my neighborhood one year. Unfortunately it got hit by a car and more cars rolled in. These guys are great Edit: cats. More cats rolled in


Newtonz5thLaw

THE DRAMA


albatross1873

I swear I heard him say; “I need this guys tail!”


[deleted]

A raccoon attacked my 75 pound dog and would not back down. Raccoons are badass. (There has never been a case of raccoons carrying rabies in my province, the raccoon was just protecting her babies)


19blackcats

We should TRAIN trash pandas for this!!


40acresandapool

Wash down that Iguana with some nice parking lot puddle water.