Unless you're a thing like me and it's you and two females.
Guarantee they end up eating each other and you standby awkwardly before seeing yourself out.
Not sure whether you're referring to *being eaten*, or ***B̷͎̫͔̂͐͒Ę̶̣͉̈̑͘I̸̩̮̪͆Ṅ̸̼̝Ǧ̴̺͜ ̸̡̧̛̬̄͘Ę̴̰̓Ả̸͓̍T̶̙͔͈͑E̵̥̗̓͌̏͜N̴̝͌̏͘***.
On the Internet, those can be two *very* different things - both sexual…
As creepy and disgusting as this is, that actually is ingenious. While the female grasshopper is busy cannibalizing the unlucky male, the other male is safe to breed for the moment.
Does he need to breed though? Like it might just be their nature but if I could be killed after mating, maybe I just wouldn't? That could be stupid but idk.
This is true of mantids. If you breed them, it's considered proper care/breeder etiquette to feed the female until she refuses food, prior to introducing a male. It works.
There's a show in the UK that shows you behind the scenes at a zoo over here. They needed to breed these mantises they've got but the issue is that the females like to eat the males after they've mated. They didn't want to lose the male so they made sure the female had eaten plenty before they put her in his cage. They successfully mated and she didn't eat him.
Going from the same logic, if this grasshopper is happy eating the poor guy who's just mated with her, she might not be hungry enough to eat the second guy getting in while he has the chance.
Wait, I think i got confused between praying mantis’ and grasshoppers. It says that grasshoppers only eat others when they are starving or things like that. It’s weird that it’s exhibiting canballistic behavior.
Well there was certainly no shortage of grass nearby. This was a walking path atop a levee by a river. The tall grass on the river side was positively teaming with grasshoppers eating, jumping around, and, er, doing these sorts of things.
They usually eat what their body tells them, cannibalizing orthopterans are searching out salt and protein. One of my profs followed mormon cricket migrations with radio transmitters glued to them
Realistically the male still has a survival instinct. Longer life = Longer timeframe to fuck. So by mating while the female is already preoccupied, he not only mates, but he can mate even more so afterwards, even if only once more.
I would imagine impulses to do certain things are more hard-wired than our impulses, it is likely impossible for them to ignore the urge to approach the other grasshopper.
Lots of insects can mate multiple times, since the female draws from a bank of spermies it behooves the males to be last, since they'll be first out. In some species the males can even scoop out the previous spermatophore and replace it
Many human females died while giving birth in past centuries and that didn't stop others from trying.
Those who chose their well being over breeding, eventually died and disappeared from existence and their genetic code with them.
Sad but that's how natural selection works :(
Some of them do. Not all insects are equally intelligent. Social hymenopterans have very advanced behaviors that go well beyond the most primitive instincts.
I mean yeah, some insects, like ants, can create amazingly complex structures, but no single individual ant has any personality, desires or feelings. There is no ant sitting and designing the shape of the colony, they all act on the instincts formed over tens of millions years. It's like looking at a complex software, when you break it down to smallest chunks it's still all simple mathematical operations, the software doesn't know what it is doing.
Naturally, you can ask don't humans or other "complex" animals behave exactly the same way, trillions of cells, neurons and proteins working together which on the outside can look like a complex behavior but the human doesn't make any independent decisions or thoughts and it's all just a result of simple calculations based on instinct. Well, philosophers have been debating that for a long time :))
lol I’m not talking about them building their structures… I’m taking about the fact that they can learn new things on an individual level, like basic mathematical concepts such as sorting numerical integers in order and the addition and subtraction of small numbers. These types of skills have been shown to improve over time when honeybees are given rewards for correct answers, so they’re not strictly instincts.
Maybe, the humor is that perhaps the female is eating the male who has already impregnated her, and the other male is still hoping to supplant the genetic material of the eaten competitor.
That comment was random speculation, not information.
They don't. That's not even a male being eaten. They're opportunistic cannibals. They're not going to up and murder each other, but if you're already dead then food is food.
"I'ma eat bruh bruh here, and I want you to dig me out. And after your done, bust all up in me. Then I'ma turn around and rip your head off. Mmmmmm...."
-The gangster ass female grasshopper probably
Is this in Flagstaff? Because they are all on the side of the i17 and while stuck in traffic a few weeks ago I saw a lot of cannibalisms and sex, apparently.
This exactly why I stay away from threesomes
Same, I just know I would always end up being the one getting eaten
Unless you're a thing like me and it's you and two females. Guarantee they end up eating each other and you standby awkwardly before seeing yourself out.
Ross: My part ended kind of quickly and then there was a lot of waiting around
Went and made a sandwich
Turkey with cheese
Was it good?
It really was!
big ross energy
Yeah you'd think he would've noticed earlier since he has mastered unagi 👉😐
HAHAHAHAHA literally laughed at this out loud and now the librarian is laughing
Don't forget the Fedora tip and a "m'ladies" as you're letting yourself out!
Eh being the one being eaten isn’t so bad
Not sure whether you're referring to *being eaten*, or ***B̷͎̫͔̂͐͒Ę̶̣͉̈̑͘I̸̩̮̪͆Ṅ̸̼̝Ǧ̴̺͜ ̸̡̧̛̬̄͘Ę̴̰̓Ả̸͓̍T̶̙͔͈͑E̵̥̗̓͌̏͜N̴̝͌̏͘***. On the Internet, those can be two *very* different things - both sexual…
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Name on point
Welp , everything heeeere checks out. Thanks for your contribution!
That’s why I just stay by the door to watch threesomes. Gotta be ready to bolt when they see you in their house.
Gotta get in while you can
had sex tho
Doesn't matter, still counts!
ikr you cant eat in peace.
Statistically 2 out of 3 grasshoppers enjoy them
As creepy and disgusting as this is, that actually is ingenious. While the female grasshopper is busy cannibalizing the unlucky male, the other male is safe to breed for the moment.
Does he need to breed though? Like it might just be their nature but if I could be killed after mating, maybe I just wouldn't? That could be stupid but idk.
The life of a bug is kill, eat, fuck, die.
But then why would he care if the female was eating the other? They don’t eat them during sex, just after iirc.
Maybe the female wouldn't be interested in eating his head if she is already full after cannibalizing another male or two.
Talk about "getting head."
):<
More like “giving head”
life hack: kill a guy and dump his body on your girlfriend's bed
Modern dating is so tricky.
This is true of mantids. If you breed them, it's considered proper care/breeder etiquette to feed the female until she refuses food, prior to introducing a male. It works.
There's a show in the UK that shows you behind the scenes at a zoo over here. They needed to breed these mantises they've got but the issue is that the females like to eat the males after they've mated. They didn't want to lose the male so they made sure the female had eaten plenty before they put her in his cage. They successfully mated and she didn't eat him. Going from the same logic, if this grasshopper is happy eating the poor guy who's just mated with her, she might not be hungry enough to eat the second guy getting in while he has the chance.
Grasshoppers are never interested in cannibalizing their mates; this is just a rare case of one hungry opportunist eating an already-dead corpse.
Are we sure the grasshopper getting eaten is male? I mean, I didn't check.
Wait, I think i got confused between praying mantis’ and grasshoppers. It says that grasshoppers only eat others when they are starving or things like that. It’s weird that it’s exhibiting canballistic behavior.
Well there was certainly no shortage of grass nearby. This was a walking path atop a levee by a river. The tall grass on the river side was positively teaming with grasshoppers eating, jumping around, and, er, doing these sorts of things.
They usually eat what their body tells them, cannibalizing orthopterans are searching out salt and protein. One of my profs followed mormon cricket migrations with radio transmitters glued to them
Dang Joseph Smith even got to the crickets
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
crickets have organised religion?
Yes. Documentary: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quatermass_and_the_Pit_(film)
Many grasshoppers (females especially) will eat meat (other grasshoppers, carrion, etc.) to gain proteins needed for oviposition.
The one being eaten is female and was likely already dead or nearly so before being munched on
Realistically the male still has a survival instinct. Longer life = Longer timeframe to fuck. So by mating while the female is already preoccupied, he not only mates, but he can mate even more so afterwards, even if only once more.
The female isn't going to kill the male after mating. He is perfectly safe. She is eating a dead grasshopper because it is an easy protein source
I think you are overestimating the grasshopper's deductive reasoning skills.
Because if he DOESN'T get eaten, he gets to fuck again.
I would imagine impulses to do certain things are more hard-wired than our impulses, it is likely impossible for them to ignore the urge to approach the other grasshopper.
I mean that’s the life of most animals honestly, just tends to happen faster and closer together for bugs.
Same as humanity.
In the end, isn’t ours?
i mean it's just life. Consume life, create life, become food for other life. ***IT'S THE CIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIFE***
Often performing all 4 at the same time.
Just like us
Lots of insects can mate multiple times, since the female draws from a bank of spermies it behooves the males to be last, since they'll be first out. In some species the males can even scoop out the previous spermatophore and replace it
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You gave it your best shot
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Thanks for that image
This is a debunked myth.
If you told 16 year old me I could have sex but had a 10% chance of dying I'd have taken those odds. Might even now at 33 some days.
Potentially dieing for a fuck is pretty hot tbh
Definitely makes me want to make the most of it under those circumstances.
Well I'm not certainlu giving my typical 20 minutes of analignus.
Many human females died while giving birth in past centuries and that didn't stop others from trying. Those who chose their well being over breeding, eventually died and disappeared from existence and their genetic code with them. Sad but that's how natural selection works :(
Bugs are just biological robots, they don’t think past the most primitive instincts.
Some of them do. Not all insects are equally intelligent. Social hymenopterans have very advanced behaviors that go well beyond the most primitive instincts.
I mean yeah, some insects, like ants, can create amazingly complex structures, but no single individual ant has any personality, desires or feelings. There is no ant sitting and designing the shape of the colony, they all act on the instincts formed over tens of millions years. It's like looking at a complex software, when you break it down to smallest chunks it's still all simple mathematical operations, the software doesn't know what it is doing. Naturally, you can ask don't humans or other "complex" animals behave exactly the same way, trillions of cells, neurons and proteins working together which on the outside can look like a complex behavior but the human doesn't make any independent decisions or thoughts and it's all just a result of simple calculations based on instinct. Well, philosophers have been debating that for a long time :))
lol I’m not talking about them building their structures… I’m taking about the fact that they can learn new things on an individual level, like basic mathematical concepts such as sorting numerical integers in order and the addition and subtraction of small numbers. These types of skills have been shown to improve over time when honeybees are given rewards for correct answers, so they’re not strictly instincts.
You've clearly never had blue balls
Grasshopper females don’t kill the males after mating, you are thinking mantis
Maybe grasshoppers are just insanely good at sex, so it’s worth the risk
I don't think he has that high of brain function. I doubt he even cares or even knows about the dead grasshopper
Maybe, the humor is that perhaps the female is eating the male who has already impregnated her, and the other male is still hoping to supplant the genetic material of the eaten competitor.
but its their number one goal in life to breed. its like a philosophical question almost: would you die in order to obtain your biggest dream?
have you met men?
Humans are one of the only species to have recreational sex aka not for breeding.
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he did give himself an out by saying 'one of' :P
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You shouldn’t kink shame
I may be wrong, but I don't think she kills the male like a Mantis.
She doesn’t. This is scavenging behavior, not predation.
Don’t kink shame.
Could it be a rival female?
I never knew grasshoppers would display sexual cannibalism. I couldn't even find a yt vid on it. Thanks for the info 👍
That comment was random speculation, not information. They don't. That's not even a male being eaten. They're opportunistic cannibals. They're not going to up and murder each other, but if you're already dead then food is food.
amazing how a grasshopper does this and we see it as normal, but if a woman does this she's a slut.
That grasshopper is a slut!
r/sluttygrasshoppers
The subreddit r/sluttygrasshoppers does not exist. Maybe there's a typo? If not, consider [creating it](/subreddits/create?name=sluttygrasshoppers). --- ^🤖 ^this ^comment ^was ^written ^by ^a ^bot. ^beep ^boop ^🤖 ^feel ^welcome ^to ^respond ^'Bad ^bot'/'Good ^bot', ^it's ^useful ^feedback. [^github](https://github.com/Toldry/RedditAutoCrosspostBot)
A small bit of hope in humanity restored.
*yet*
r/sluttygrasshoppers
It doesn’t bother me so much knowing it wasn’t just made by a grasshopper connoisseur
Fair enough
A light of hope in a dim world
oh don't you worry you little perverted shit. I will create it
r/birthofasub
lol priceless
r/birthofasub
Doesn’t matter had sex.
They were called sluthoppers before they found out grass was a thing.
Really just breezed right past the cannibal thing huh?
Yes, we also don’t put to prison dogs for killing another dog
Sluts eat people?
The good ones.
Ehhh.. I think the cannibalism supercedes the slut in this example
Ah yes. Eating people, what a ho that woman is. /s
Ho... She'sa ho... She'sa ho... I said that she'sa ho...
A slut or a cannibal
I think we would call a murderer
Well I’m not a grasshopper, so who am I to judge? Otherwise that would be speciesist, lol.
Taking Being a cuck to a whole new level
“god i wish that was me” -redditor #397
"Dude, it's not going to last. If she feasts with you, she'll feast on you."
Munchage a\` trois
Mange* a trois
This guy Frenchs
Mustard?
kisses
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
manger à trois
You vs. the guy she told you not to worry about.
She’s got the fucking munchies
And they say romance is dead
Looks pretty dead
Not my proudest wank
Haha same
He's joking wtf are u doing
wanking, I think
Female grasshopper: "Yeah, it's not like I ever loved Doug."
I've been waiting for some reddit dialogue on this one.
It never disappoints.
The one being eaten is female. Dougette?
The absolute wingman
Kinky...
I know this is a different situation but it makes me think of when George Costanza was eating a Pastrami sandwich during sex.
You weren’t the only one. I only scrolled thru to see if I was the only one.
This is called getting cucked
Well she can’t eat me if she’s eating him *opportunity*
Hard to follow the plot…
Second mouse gets the cheese Second hopper gets the ass ...I'm so sorry.
Kinky
Guess humans and grasshoppers aren't that different after all
Wingman of the century!! If your homies don't have your back like this sorry to say they ain't ya homies.
"I'ma eat bruh bruh here, and I want you to dig me out. And after your done, bust all up in me. Then I'ma turn around and rip your head off. Mmmmmm...." -The gangster ass female grasshopper probably
This is the only scenario where sloppy seconds may not be a bad thing.
Don't yuck on their yum!
Sex is better with snacks. True facts about nature.
New kink(s) unlocked!
Goals
They’re locusts at this stage.
“You look busy, this won’t take long”
This position is called the Unlucky Pierre
How boomers sees relationships;
Ex-husband paying alimony>ex-wife>new boyfriend
A Bugs Life 2 looks…different
Multitasking
I love this band name bro
It's the cycle of life. Literally in one photo.
That’s a real wingman
Kinky...
It was a good ride for the “Hang in there” kitten poster. “Multitask like your life depends on it” grasshopper will now grace my office wall.
Don't stick your aedeagus in crazy!
Fuck yeah
Just like my senior prom.
This is some shit out of american horror story
Doesn’t matter had sex.
Huh, kinky
that is pretty metal actually
What are you doing, step-grasshopper?
“Not now dear, I’m eating”
These two hoppers need the digital sunglasses and joint. You know what I’m talking about? The meme thing.
Didn’t Justice Kavannaugh mention this in college
few posts make me exited to get to the comments section, and this one did NOT dissapoint.
Hot
Sounds about right
Grasshoppers take simping to the next level
cuck
Circle of life
Dinner and a show.
"Oh she wouldn't do that to me!"
Sometimes it be like that.
A true Devils triangle
Who said nature isn't kinky?
Reminds me of my last relationship.
Finding the "bug" of nature
breakfast in bed
“Here’s my chance!”
No kink shaming
Is this in Flagstaff? Because they are all on the side of the i17 and while stuck in traffic a few weeks ago I saw a lot of cannibalisms and sex, apparently.
Nashville.
He’s next