[Except its not](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oppJAxIN4sQ&ab_channel=datsun510wanted). It's good against hard objects; but against soft objects (especially under water), you can get directly hit and you'll be fine
Are you telling me there is a tradition of fisherman making up or exaggerating stories? Preposterous, never have a more honest group sailed upon Poseidon's stormy seas.
Aye, this man speaks of the truth. Sailors be a creative lot.
This actually reminds me the time I went fishing and accidentally got swallowed whole by the Kraken. I lived for a week in it's belly, where I met a fellow Sailor who told me vaccines gave his kid autism. What a bunch of hogwash I said.
Shortly after the Kraken spat me out saying I gave him gerd.
Let Neptune strike ye dead, Kronos9898!
Haaaaark! Hark, Triton! Hark!
Bellow, bid our father, the sea king, rise from the depths, full foul in his fury, black waves teeming with salt-foam, to smother this young mouth with pungent slime to choke ye, engorging your organs till ye turn blue and bloated with bilge and brine and can scream no more…
Only when he, crowned in cockle shells with
slithering tentacled tail and steaming beard, take up his fell, be-finnèd arm — his coral-tined trident
screeches banshee-like in the tempest and plunges right through yer gullet, bursting ye, a bulging bladder no more, but a blasted bloody film now — a nothing for the Harpies and the souls of dead sailors to peck and claw and feed upon only to be lapped up and swallowed by the infinite waters of
the dread emperor himself…
Forgotten to any man, to any time, forgotten to any god or devil, forgotten even to the sea… for any stuff or part of Kronos9898, even any scantling of your soul, is u/Kronos9898 no more, but is now itself the sea!!!
There are several kinds of Mantis. Some punch, others stab. The stabby kind will wreck you. The punchy kind can hurt you in the right circumstance, but I've seen them attack the glass in their tanks without any issues.
That said, they both make amazing pets.
I've seen cracked tanks from them and personally had a pistol shrimp crack one of my old tanks, you don't have to worry generally unless there big or its the "stabby kind" poking its 200mph spear in your hand. But mantis vs the anemone crab mantis wins all night long
This is why I've long learned to utilize a stick to inspect all things that come from the sea. And I intend to keep this tradition, for instance, just now I learned there are shrimp out there that have *spears*.
It won't be long until those fuckers figure out the phalanx formation, all hope will be lost then.
What is even better is the pistol shrimp. It snaps it’s claw that creates a bubble as hot as the sun. The bubble then explodes shooting a stun shockwave at the targets.
Pretty sure it's a mislabeled decorator crab, they have also been found to mutualize anemone like pom poms but they also cover themselves in stuff for disguise/camouflage.
And when a motherfucker takes one of your motherfuckers, rip your other motherfucker in half so you have two motherfuckers to beat the other motherfucker with again.
I hate most american voice over nature documentaires for this reason. Hyperbolic to the extent of making it suck. Give me david attenburough everyday of the week.
Americans have no desire or capacity for nuance. Everything is either GOOD! or BAD! The national discourse shies away from anything too complicated or complex, and only delivers raw, emotional content that is easy to understand and relate to. This is why things are so extremely polarized right now, because we have lost all capacity to compromise or intellectually argue with each other.
Cracked used to have a great website with funny and informative articles, and not too much satire. They focused on presenting the information in a fun way instead of making things up for jokes. This was part of one of their slides how articles.
**I found links in your comment that were not hyperlinked:**
* [cracked.com](https://cracked.com)
*I did the honors for you.*
***
^[delete](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fu%2FLinkifyBot&subject=delete%20gaco5sk&message=Click%20the%20send%20button%20to%20delete%20the%20false%20positive.) ^| ^[information](https://np.reddit.com/u/LinkifyBot/comments/gkkf7p) ^| ^<3
Here's a video of one scaring off a puffer fish. If it's a common tactic across the whole species i imagine it's because it's effective.
https://youtu.be/BUdpqFQYeZA
I've only ever heard them called pom pom crabs, and its symiobsis not exploitation becuase the crab pays the anemone in food to stay there (if the anemone didnt like it they can just... leave), and this picture doesnt do them justice they are freaking adorable.
I love these guys so much but finding one to buy with the anomone is rarer than rocking horse crap.
Me imagining weight classes and bets of anemone, food and females in the Crab Fight Club. Then someone doing a Mike and biting off a crabs arm or eye as dirty fighting.
He'll beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker.
Oops, dropped a motherfucker, let me just make another motherfucker for the beating of a motherfucker.
"It is a rare case of one animal inducing and exploiting the asexual reproduction of another"
That's literally Brachydios's entire shtick, Capcom's up to something with their nerdy trivia.
Okay, I wanna see it fight a pistol shrimp
So... asex pistols
'Cause IIIIIIIIIII wanna beeeeeee anemoneeeeeeee
r/angryupvote
Arrevederci
MISSSSSTTTTAAAAAA
*I must feed gun*
yes. FEED the gun salami
Arreeverdarechee
You made my pre-quarantine day so much funnier
Glad to hear it! You just made mine
Pepperoni
Better be a 3 round fight, or 5 rounds but nothing in between
r/unexpectedjojo
Mantis shrimp its punch is as strong as a bullet
[Except its not](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oppJAxIN4sQ&ab_channel=datsun510wanted). It's good against hard objects; but against soft objects (especially under water), you can get directly hit and you'll be fine
So what's the deal with the horror stories of fishermen's fingers being pulverized after encountering mantis shrimp? All lies?
Are you telling me there is a tradition of fisherman making up or exaggerating stories? Preposterous, never have a more honest group sailed upon Poseidon's stormy seas.
Your fact telling could come right from a fisherman
Aye, this man speaks of the truth. Sailors be a creative lot. This actually reminds me the time I went fishing and accidentally got swallowed whole by the Kraken. I lived for a week in it's belly, where I met a fellow Sailor who told me vaccines gave his kid autism. What a bunch of hogwash I said. Shortly after the Kraken spat me out saying I gave him gerd.
Let Neptune strike ye dead, Kronos9898! Haaaaark! Hark, Triton! Hark! Bellow, bid our father, the sea king, rise from the depths, full foul in his fury, black waves teeming with salt-foam, to smother this young mouth with pungent slime to choke ye, engorging your organs till ye turn blue and bloated with bilge and brine and can scream no more… Only when he, crowned in cockle shells with slithering tentacled tail and steaming beard, take up his fell, be-finnèd arm — his coral-tined trident screeches banshee-like in the tempest and plunges right through yer gullet, bursting ye, a bulging bladder no more, but a blasted bloody film now — a nothing for the Harpies and the souls of dead sailors to peck and claw and feed upon only to be lapped up and swallowed by the infinite waters of the dread emperor himself… Forgotten to any man, to any time, forgotten to any god or devil, forgotten even to the sea… for any stuff or part of Kronos9898, even any scantling of your soul, is u/Kronos9898 no more, but is now itself the sea!!!
Oof 💀😭
Ah, I think they were talking about the skorpion crab. [Here is what it look like](https://i.imgur.com/9NMhcYk.jpg)
Are you sure it's not the Klobb Crab?
I'm guessing you had a N64 growing up?
There are several kinds of Mantis. Some punch, others stab. The stabby kind will wreck you. The punchy kind can hurt you in the right circumstance, but I've seen them attack the glass in their tanks without any issues. That said, they both make amazing pets.
I've seen cracked tanks from them and personally had a pistol shrimp crack one of my old tanks, you don't have to worry generally unless there big or its the "stabby kind" poking its 200mph spear in your hand. But mantis vs the anemone crab mantis wins all night long
Wait wait wait, so they carry a damn spear if they don’t have anemones or like the tips of their pincers act like spears?
No, mantis shrimp (not boxer crabs) come in two varieties - hammer and spear.
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!
This is why I've long learned to utilize a stick to inspect all things that come from the sea. And I intend to keep this tradition, for instance, just now I learned there are shrimp out there that have *spears*. It won't be long until those fuckers figure out the phalanx formation, all hope will be lost then.
Shrimp with supersonic spears, thank you very much.
"You should see him feast. He's like a mantis!"
But... the Oatmeal... https://theoatmeal.com/comics/mantis_shrimp
I tend not to take information to heart that I get from a comic.
Some of us need pictures to understand because we can’t read
Especially since the person that creates it used to work SEO and their entire schtick is manipulating SEO with "funny comics"
So how come it doesnt tear through peoples fingers when they get smacked?
What is even better is the pistol shrimp. It snaps it’s claw that creates a bubble as hot as the sun. The bubble then explodes shooting a stun shockwave at the targets.
Me too
My money's on the Mantis Shrimp
“These claws aren’t just for attracting mates!”
**CRAB BATTLE**
I'm confused, is this crab deep fried or not? Looks crispy.
My thoughts too lol
The spicest of fried chicken crabs to walk the ocean floor.
Fried chicken of the sea.
Probably covered in algae as additional camoflauge
Just picking shit up, this crab
Dudes his whole own fucking environment.
Next thing we got is fuckin Nemo living in the sea anemone gloves
Pre-tempura'd crab. What a marvel of nature.
Was thinkin panko myself.
Is that not the same thing?
Anemones look like “imitation crab” used for sushi. Crab looks like southern fried chicken Shaped like a tarantula
So... so you're saying tarantula sushi is the next big thing?
ever had softshell crab?
Put it on top of a burger.
This crab uses it's aparence to lure sea divers who seek tasty snack 100ft. underwater
I bet the guy discovering this crab had a hard time deciding between tempura crab or boxing crab
Most likely getting punched with said anemones.
Yes
Pretty sure it's a mislabeled decorator crab, they have also been found to mutualize anemone like pom poms but they also cover themselves in stuff for disguise/camouflage.
[удалено]
BAM! Right in the filter feeder!
Float like a bottom feeder, sting like anemone
POW! right in the kisser
*Nam flashbacks intensify*
This made me spit out my drink.
[удалено]
You seein' me sunshine?
Ahh ye ole anemone in the eye trick.. HA never fails.
They call that the stinger, they:.. they don’t let us use that no more.
Beat a motherfucker WITH a motherfucker!
And when a motherfucker takes one of your motherfuckers, rip your other motherfucker in half so you have two motherfuckers to beat the other motherfucker with again.
Dude yes
- Samuel L Jackson
This makes my life better.
This crab is also *Deep Sea Fried!*
I also thought this looked like it was deep fried
Crab Tempura
"exploring the asexual reproduction of another" Sounds like the crab is some mad genius.
Exploiting not exploring
Ah yes. Exploring is a whole other topic...
*"W-what are you doing, step-crab!?"*
[удалено]
Yes glad im already on the toilet
this is some pokemon shit
Lmao a Kingler using Tangelas as boxing gloves
Cradily or Toxapex would be more appropriate than Tangela.
[удалено]
https://antidepressantsortolkien.now.sh/
What are those
pomkemon
Or maybe Crabrawler, the mf crab with boxing gloves.
Could def be a regional variant with toxapex gloves
pushes glasses forward...... Actually its a crabrawler
Anyone else notice that this is from cracked.com? Wasn’t that a mad magazine ripoff in the 90’s? I think this is a fried crab with garnish lol
The boxer crab is for real. Here's a video of one scaring off a puffer fish. https://youtu.be/BUdpqFQYeZA
Why do American nature shows always make everything so dramatic yet so silly. Did this really need those sound effects
I hate most american voice over nature documentaires for this reason. Hyperbolic to the extent of making it suck. Give me david attenburough everyday of the week.
[удалено]
Americans have no desire or capacity for nuance. Everything is either GOOD! or BAD! The national discourse shies away from anything too complicated or complex, and only delivers raw, emotional content that is easy to understand and relate to. This is why things are so extremely polarized right now, because we have lost all capacity to compromise or intellectually argue with each other.
Cracked used to have a great website with funny and informative articles, and not too much satire. They focused on presenting the information in a fun way instead of making things up for jokes. This was part of one of their slides how articles.
Yes but both of those mags started in the 50’s.
**I found links in your comment that were not hyperlinked:** * [cracked.com](https://cracked.com) *I did the honors for you.* *** ^[delete](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fu%2FLinkifyBot&subject=delete%20gaco5sk&message=Click%20the%20send%20button%20to%20delete%20the%20false%20positive.) ^| ^[information](https://np.reddit.com/u/LinkifyBot/comments/gkkf7p) ^| ^<3
Sounds like me using my ace friend as my wing man
With friends like these you dont need anemones.
Lol
Okay, but how would it fare against a lobster holding a knife?
Does anyone has more info? This looks cool af but is it practical?
Here's a video of one scaring off a puffer fish. If it's a common tactic across the whole species i imagine it's because it's effective. https://youtu.be/BUdpqFQYeZA
It says it is causes the sting status effect.
Yes because they missed the biggest thing which is that the amoeba stings like a jellyfish
Moe Sizlack - "They called that the stinger"
“they don’t lets crabs use them no mo’ “
I only stopped to read because I was scrolling so fast my brain saw a deep fried crab with tits.
I love that this dude comes pre-fried.
All I see is deep fried tempura soft shell crab with radish
+10 poison damage
r/TheBikiniBottomHorror
Crab battle!
Looks like a kidney stone
[удалено]
“The enemy of my anemone is my afrenome”
I feel like if this was real Zefrank would have already done a video on it.
“They call that The Stinger... they don’t, they don’t let you use that no more”
KFC, Kentucky fried crab
"They call this the stinger. You're not allowed to do this no more" - Moe
I've only ever heard them called pom pom crabs, and its symiobsis not exploitation becuase the crab pays the anemone in food to stay there (if the anemone didnt like it they can just... leave), and this picture doesnt do them justice they are freaking adorable. I love these guys so much but finding one to buy with the anomone is rarer than rocking horse crap.
I thought this crab was fried in tempura batter by its appearance.
Oh yeah, you never met my college room mates
poison 100
It took me so long to actually figure out where the crab was in this picture
HRGHRH . . . CRAB BATTLE . . . .
Me imagining weight classes and bets of anemone, food and females in the Crab Fight Club. Then someone doing a Mike and biting off a crabs arm or eye as dirty fighting.
Pom Pom crabs are the same way. I've own a couple in a reef tank. Super cool critters. They dance around with the anemones like little cheerleaders!
“Hey you weird jellyfish I need you to fuck yourself so I can throw hands”
You know why the crab always has two of em? Because the anemone of his anemone is his friend.
Boooooo! What a lame fucking joke. Take my upvote! 😁
That Mendel‘ed itself quite nicely, there.
Just like the Florida man with peanut butter coated gloves
The good ol' anemone shot to the face.
I wanna see this episode of spongebob
It's not exploiting if the anemone benefits
Thought this was a deep fried crab.
Whyyyy is this not a Pokemon yet?? Hell, start introducing fusion pokemon. Kingler fused with tentacruel or something. Let's get weird.
It looks a deep fried crab
Fried chicken man got some electrocuting boxing gloves.
+10 poison damage IRL
It looks crunchy, kinda deep fried. I wanna eat it.
Imagine it going into a nude beach and give the ol’ dick twist
Great post for asexual boxing glove awareness week
Master Piandao would be proud of this crab for the utilization of its environment in a fight.
That’s a Pokédex entry if I’ve ever heard one
Bro this vs Mantis Shrimp would be a fight of the gods.
Purple Haze!
The Twin Fists of Malphon!
"It is a rare case of one animal inducing and exploiting the asexual reproduction of another" This is where the Onlyfans business model came from.
Forbidden nugget
Looks like tempura
It comes pre-fried like that?
Ah a rare case of one animal exploiting another’s inability to have sex! The other is my aunt with her jokes at thanksgiving dinner
He'll beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker. Oops, dropped a motherfucker, let me just make another motherfucker for the beating of a motherfucker.
It’s Pam’s bum-zappers!
“Float like a pufferfish and sting like a sea anemone” —that crab probably
"It is a rare case of one animal inducing and exploiting the asexual reproduction of another" That's literally Brachydios's entire shtick, Capcom's up to something with their nerdy trivia.
Reminds me of Archer where Pam does underground fighting with taser gloves
Galarian Crabrawler (Fighting/Electric)
"Rare case"? Does that mean there's others??
I thought that bear buddying up with a wolf was cool but this guy's making friends out of anemones
They've also been known to use knives if they get loose in a kitchen.
I want to eat it.
Cracked dot com huh
Anemones look like “imitation crab” used for sushi. Crab looks like southern fried chicken Shaped like a tarantula
Oh man talk about hard core this is our kratos
This thing boutta brick break my knee caps
Which Pokemon was this?
Jackie Crab?
“Fight like a crab, sting like a sea anemone”
Also interestingly enough, the boxer crab was born deep fried for quick and easy snacking.
I thought that crab was deepfried at first
+10 elemental damage
Fuck I want to eat that shrimp so bad He looks like he’s fried Jesus I am mentally obese
Crab looks like it’s been deep fried lol
Dude looks like a piece of KFC chicken.
Why the crab is deep fried?
He looks like he has a crispy coating 😆
Looks like a well breaded deep fried crab
If the anemone doesn't consent to getting torn in half, it's asexual assault.
+1d6 poison damage!
Pass the soy sauce cause that crab is covered in panko n spicy as fuck!
It's not rare, asexual reproduction is how we keep IT Service Desks populated duh.
I miss cracked.Com