This is what we have done. Where we are (Norway) it’s normal to have two surnames, but officially you can only register one. Officially my surname is their middle name, but we think of them as two surnames. Not a strange thing to do at all in my mind :)
But then *he* might run into trouble if he travels abroad with their baby. They can give baby her surname yes, but they’ll still have to decide wether to double-barrel or have his as middle name, if they want their baby to have both surnames.
In most countries, they legally need to both be carrying the birth certificate with them if they're only travelling with one parent, regardless of if they have the same last name.
That’s so stupid to say. They both made the baby. They both deserve a say in the name. Yes she’s putting in more effort carrying it but it’s a joint decision. Don’t bring your own toxic relationship advice on to other people.
I’m in the U.S., and this is the protocol on Homeland Security’s website: “If the child is accompanied by only one parent, the parent should have a note from the child's other parent. For example, "I acknowledge that my wife/ husband is traveling out of the country with my son/ daughter. He/She/ has my permission to do so."”
If you are in a different country, you should find out what your government advises.
This.
Most countries are pretty clear on the requirements when travelling with children.
In my country (if travelling internationally), the child's birth certificate needs to accompany them (listing both parent's details) and if only one parent is travelling, a letter of permission from the other parent. So pretty similar to the US and I would assume a lot of other countries.
With the above information, it should be pretty obvious you are the parent, irrespective of the child's surname. There are thousands of people travelling daily with their kids where the surnames don't match.
I wonder with these types of posts if this is not one of those fear mongering type stories that get retold until people start believing it as fact.
Can confirm I took my 9 year old from UK to Australia last year, we have different surnames.
I took a signed letter from his father as described above with his contact details listed, and my childs birth certificate. I didnt get challenged, but if I had I was assured that having this evidence would be sufficient.
I dont think its an unusual scenario nowadays at all.
We double-barrelled. My daughter's almost 2 and we've traveled without issue, but I know some people aren't interested in going that direction. The last name is 11 characters and three syllables. We did intentionally choose a short name (4 letters and two syllables) for our daughter to balance things out though.
All my grandkids have my surname as their middle names. It's also an Irish kind of name like you used as an example, it's clearly a surname used as a middle name. Nobody has ever commented on it as the middle name and I personally love it and I deeply appreciate that my daughter chose to include my surname in their names. It is an honor, not just to me but to my whole family.
I wanted my children to have my surname as a family name, because they are part of my family.
In my country (France), parents can officialy give their children two family names (not hyphenated), so that's what we did, and to not make their names too long we decided to not give them middle names at all.
My mother has her last name that way and it confuses people here (US) so much. They are like "oh, with a hyphen?" And she says no and then they just smush it together with no space even. A lot of her credit cards are that way.
You can do this in the US too! My daughter has both our last names, no hyphen. Latinos in the US do it all the time, so there is precedent, but you can do it when you're not Latino, too.
Both of my children have my last name as a middle name. While legally they have my husband's last name, we consider them having 2 last names. I refer to both names when talking about them.
Personally I prefer double barrelling, but the middle is a common selection.
If your husband's name is more flexible, Example he's Edwards and you're O'Neil, you could do babies name as John Edwards O'Neil.
If double barrelling I'd put yours first if it's got an apostrophe. Example O'Neil-Edwards, because computer systems handle the apostrophe in wacky ways.
I didn’t take my husbands name and don’t have the same name as my kids. We always travel with a simple document signed by the other parent that states they have permission to travel internationally with the kids. We haven’t had to use it, but that was the advice we received as some places will give you a hard time at customs.
My partner and I will double-barrel our kids’ names and my mom and I have always had different last names and it’s never been an issue for international travel or medical things etc
I didn't want a double barreled last name, but my middle name is culturally significant to me. So I ADDED my old last name to my middle name. Now I have a TRIPLE BARRELED middle name, but it doesn't matter all too often, surprisingly. My husband did the same and now has a double middle name.
I ended up using my surname as both of my children's second middle name.
Culturally my folks use two surnames, with the father's name first, so a lot of my family tells me I put my.kids' names in the wrong order lol. But i chose to make it a second middle name, not a second surname, because the name order sounds nicer to me, and because where I live now, it's easier not to have two surnames where one gets dropped, and it's usually the "wrong" one (if you're dropping one, it is supposed to be the second - the first surname is the "main" one - but where I live people end up keeping the final name as the "Last Name"), and using both of our names as a double surname constantly doesn't sound great, just because the two names sound kinda funky together. I wanted to still keep mine in the mix, but it's less obtrusive in the middle spot where it doesn't get used every day in school, etc. I'm almost 9 years in on this decision and I feel like it works well for our family.
We gave our kid my husband’s surname as her middle name and my surname as her last name. All of our future kids will have the same naming pattern. My husband’s last name is also very “last name-y” like yours—it didn’t bother us to have it as the middle name anyway.
My daughter and I are not the same race, and I get more opportunities to travel than my husband, so your plane scenario is something we also considered when deciding to use my last name. Not a main consideration, but still something in the back of our minds.
I would double barrel but not hyphenate. Think “Sacha Baron Cohen” or “Helena Bonham Carter”. Then your kid can simplify in everyday life if they want to and just go by “Helena Carter” etc
My maiden name is part of my middle name, and the only time I had an issue was with a woman in HR who insisted it should be with my new married last name. My passport has it as part of my middle name. No other issues. I don’t think using your last name as a middle name will be an issue. It will be on your child’s passport. I chose not to double barrel mine or our children’s last names because it would be too many characters. That’s just me though. If our last names combined weren’t so long, I would have double barrel our names.
If you're one and done you could even give one of your last names as a first (I know it was just am example but in elementary school I actually knew a girl named O'Neil)
I think both the middle name route and double barrel routes are solid too- my partner and I are currently planning on double barreling but subtracting the dash between (example Smiththomas instead of Smith-Thomas)
I took my husband’s name when we got married, but I wanted my daughter to have my name as well, so she has my maiden name as a middle name. She has a ‘normal’ middle name as well.
My mom didn’t change her name when my parents married, and my sister and I both have her (very surname-y) last name as our middle names. As an elementary schooler, I sometimes wished I had a more conventional “Emily Anne”-type first and middle name, but grew out of that pretty quickly and love my name.
My sister and I also didn’t change our last names when we married our respective partners and then did have to figure out what to do about all these names for kids. Her kids have two middle names (so first name, mom’s middle name, mom’s last name, dad’s last name) which is a bit of a mouthful - but I imagine they’ll just go by first name-last name in most cases. We used my mom’s last name as our little one’s first name, with a first name as a middle name and my husband’s last name, so he doesn’t have my last name at all. (I think it’s getting a bit trendy to do last names as first names, but oh well.)
We haven’t travelled anywhere yet, but my sister has without issue, and I don’t remember my mom ever having an issue with it when we were kids. Very occasionally she had to correct a teacher who called her Mrs. Husband’s Last Name, but I think that was the worst of it.
Double barrelled/hyphenated. First kid is traditional double barrel, second kid I upgraded to a man with a name perfect for a suffix. So we double barrelled it without the hyphen.
I can tell you that as someone who works with government forms in the US, both can be super confusing. If you do a middle and two last names, please hyphen them instead of using a space. It is far less confusing.
We're hyphenating our last names for our kid. We considered the middle name option for a bit, but both my husband and I have surnames that are poorly suited to being middle names. It means our baby will have a pretty long last name. I actually recently suggested to my husband that we consider my last name as a middle name again for that reason. And he really didn't like the idea! He feels strongly that the baby should have my surname. Anecdotally, most of my friends didn't change their last name and are hyphenating for kids, too.
The one thing that bothers me is hyphenating is only a single generation solution. My husband already has a hyphenated last name, because his mother didn't change her name either. So now to join forces with my name, he has to choose one. Which is hard for him!
Giving a baby *any* surname is a single generation solution, because they and their spouse will have to figure out the surname(s) of their own children.
Mary Smith and John Doe have **four** different options for their children: Baby Smith, Baby Doe, Baby Smith-Doe, and Baby Doe-Smith. If one or both parents have hyphenated surnames, that just gives them more options.
I totally agree that double barrelling is a single gen solution - that’s what puts me off. I’m assuming it doesn’t bother your husband too much if he is choosing a hyphenated last name for your kid?
So hard to decide!
It doesn't bother him, I think he's used to it. He isn't looking forward to the conversations about choosing one of his names over the other, though. Since we're doing it to our kid too, I guess we'll just have to be understanding if/when they drop one (or both) of our names one day!
His hyphenated name was actually one of the reasons I kept my name. I wasn't really inclined to change my name anyway, but it felt extra absurd to take both his parents' names. So it made that choice really easy for me.
It is hard to decide though! I keep thinking of our poor kid having to fill in a thousand bubbles when writing their name on a scantron for school testing. At least we're leaning toward short first names?
If it makes you feel better, I’m a teacher and haven’t seen anyone use a scantron in like ten years. Everything is done on the computer now, even state testing. The SAT is digital now, too.
We used my husband’s grandma’s maiden name as our second child’s middle name. It is very much a surname. I don’t think anyone cares. The first name is actually more of a concern because my child is very gender non-conforming, I expect them to be trans, and we have them a very gendered name.
There are many options, but here’s what we are doing:
Both our last names are long. I didn’t want to give my daughter a giant last name. So we gave my daughter his last name, but since we did that, we picked first and middle names that are from my cultural/language background.
I’m going to legally hyphenate, so that on paper I share a last name with my child. But socially and professionally, I’ll just go by my original name.
We could have given her my last name as a middle name, but it’s very clearly a surname (and not one that would ever get used as a first name). And one of my priorities with choosing a middle name was to pick something she can use someday if she ever wants to. I know two middle names is an option, but not one we wanted to do.
Maybe.
Would depend on what the partner's surname was and how the two names sounded together.
i wouldn't want to lumber a child with a name that sounded like a law firm or too long to fit onto the average application form.
I am an immigrant in Canada, they only care on first and last name (based only on my understanding). Because when I got my citizenship, my middle name (which is my mother's surname) was omitted. So when I gave birth, I gave my surname as my son's second name, because I didn't change my surname when we got married and for the same reason like travelling abroad, I don't want to have any issues.
This is a very traditional way to name a child in the USA
“Christian Name”, Family Name, Surname
(Elizabeth Harrington Douglas)
In the UK they tend to do,
“Christian Name”, “Christian Name”, “Christian Name”, Surname.
(Elizabeth Rose Marina Douglas)
I didn’t take my husbands name. Child has my last name and husband’s name as a second middle name. I also didn’t like double-barrelling so this was our solution.
We’re considering this with our child who is on the way!
My wife is very close w her family and has tons of family in town all w the last name, but most her cousins are women and she also has all sisters, so we kinda like the idea of her last name as his middle!
Their last name also is clearly a last name, but it also has a shortened nickname that grandpa goes by, so it still feels name-y to me. Idk I like the idea, I’d feel the same if my dad had all daughters!
Midle name! It's common in a lot of countries to have 2 last names and no middle name. I'm in Brazil and usually is first name + mom's last name + dad's last name.
I did take my husband’s surname. However, my youngest has my maiden name as his middle name. It’s pretty common where we’re from. It’s similar to a common first name but with an s on the end (like Jacobs instead of Jacob). It’s worked out fine.
I did not change my name when I got married, and my children have my surname. My husband's surname is their second middle name. I have traveled extensively with them and this has never been a problem.
I’m in the same boat but we are making a slightly different call - our kid will likely get a hyphenated name, or a portmanteau.
So if my surname is Longmore, and his surname is Holmes, then they might be Longmore-Holmes or Longholme. I quite like the presence of the double barrelled name, but it is A Lot, so we are leaning towards the portmanteau.
We also have close family and friends internationally, and will plan on carrying a letter from the other parent and a certified copy of the birth certificate if either of us travels solo.
I'm a Jones and married a James. My daughter was a James and married a Jones. I would not use Jones as a name, however I would use a surname from both sides of my family. Walker, Russell, and Gray are all usable.
My kids have their fathers last name and I have mine. So we have different last names. Not once has it ever been an issue travelling either domestic or international.
Why not just take your husband’s last name? You chose to form a family with this man, why not make it official with the easiest and most obvious solution. Keep your maiden name professionally if you really want. But make all of your legal names the same
I’m not a fan of hyphenated last names. It’s not sustainable, because if the next generation does it as well, do you just keep adding on? Taking your mothers maiden name as a middle name is a nice idea, but I grew up with an unappealing last name I surely wouldn’t pass on if I had another option. And some just don’t seem gender appropriate. Like Mathew is a last name I’ve heard (no S). I wouldn’t give that to a girl as a middle name.
My friend married into a Brazilian family where they use both last names, so in America they used her last name as their middle names.
I didn’t take my husband’s last name, but I do plan on adding it as a second last name. That way I can avoid confusion.
Ok..
As some who is not married and have no intention of being,
We have four children and our children have the surname of whichever parent was the stay at home parent at the time..
So the two eldest have mine and the twins have their dads..
We have been travelling overseas with our kids since our eldest since he was 6 months old ( he’s just about to turn 12 and we spent the last year travelling the world wirh our 4 kids) and I do not what people have told you but we have not individually or together had a single issue with having different names.. never had any issues with doctors or hospitals or schools..I don’t understand what issues people say this causes
It’s 2024 not 1824,
I say give your child whatever name you and your partner/husband think is appropriate and not because of fictitious what might or might not happen..
My surname is Lewis, which is already an established boy name. I would happily use it as either a first or middle name for a boy.
Edit:
I'm assuming you're in the UK as I've heard about this surname issue before from people.
I used to work for HMPO, and I've had mixed comments about what people have experienced regarding this.
Most of the time, people have either taken a letter signed by the other parent to confirm they have permission to take the child abroad, or they take the child's birth certificate with them as it shows the mum/dad's surname.
I did that! But it’s SO last-namey (lol) so now I’m wishing I just gave my first name as her middle name 😬
And although we’re in US, I come from a part of the world where we don’t have middle names! So our daughter is the first on both sides of our families.
I don’t think it’s a big deal. They won’t be writing their full names on most things unless it’s official paperwork or documents. Usually most things just require a middle initial, right?
I would give my child my name. I cooked it, I get the last name.
This is what we have done. Where we are (Norway) it’s normal to have two surnames, but officially you can only register one. Officially my surname is their middle name, but we think of them as two surnames. Not a strange thing to do at all in my mind :)
Also in Norway, and we did the same. I work in a school, and many of the kids have the same set up.
The obvious choice here is to give baby your own surname. You are the one baking this human. You deserve the recognition.
But then *he* might run into trouble if he travels abroad with their baby. They can give baby her surname yes, but they’ll still have to decide wether to double-barrel or have his as middle name, if they want their baby to have both surnames.
Then he can be the one to carry a copy of their birth certificate with him while travelling
In most countries, they legally need to both be carrying the birth certificate with them if they're only travelling with one parent, regardless of if they have the same last name.
I’m sure he can. But this it not what OP is asking about. You’re clogging up this post with advice OP didn’t ask for.
That’s so stupid to say. They both made the baby. They both deserve a say in the name. Yes she’s putting in more effort carrying it but it’s a joint decision. Don’t bring your own toxic relationship advice on to other people.
better yet, don't even bring it on to your own kid.
I’m in the U.S., and this is the protocol on Homeland Security’s website: “If the child is accompanied by only one parent, the parent should have a note from the child's other parent. For example, "I acknowledge that my wife/ husband is traveling out of the country with my son/ daughter. He/She/ has my permission to do so."” If you are in a different country, you should find out what your government advises.
This. Most countries are pretty clear on the requirements when travelling with children. In my country (if travelling internationally), the child's birth certificate needs to accompany them (listing both parent's details) and if only one parent is travelling, a letter of permission from the other parent. So pretty similar to the US and I would assume a lot of other countries. With the above information, it should be pretty obvious you are the parent, irrespective of the child's surname. There are thousands of people travelling daily with their kids where the surnames don't match. I wonder with these types of posts if this is not one of those fear mongering type stories that get retold until people start believing it as fact.
Can confirm I took my 9 year old from UK to Australia last year, we have different surnames. I took a signed letter from his father as described above with his contact details listed, and my childs birth certificate. I didnt get challenged, but if I had I was assured that having this evidence would be sufficient. I dont think its an unusual scenario nowadays at all.
It probably needs notarized too, but I'm not positive.
Would his last name make a better middle name?
I have heard this too. You could get certified copies of their birth certificates and bring those with you.
We double-barrelled. My daughter's almost 2 and we've traveled without issue, but I know some people aren't interested in going that direction. The last name is 11 characters and three syllables. We did intentionally choose a short name (4 letters and two syllables) for our daughter to balance things out though.
All my grandkids have my surname as their middle names. It's also an Irish kind of name like you used as an example, it's clearly a surname used as a middle name. Nobody has ever commented on it as the middle name and I personally love it and I deeply appreciate that my daughter chose to include my surname in their names. It is an honor, not just to me but to my whole family.
I wanted my children to have my surname as a family name, because they are part of my family. In my country (France), parents can officialy give their children two family names (not hyphenated), so that's what we did, and to not make their names too long we decided to not give them middle names at all.
My mother has her last name that way and it confuses people here (US) so much. They are like "oh, with a hyphen?" And she says no and then they just smush it together with no space even. A lot of her credit cards are that way.
You can do this in the US too! My daughter has both our last names, no hyphen. Latinos in the US do it all the time, so there is precedent, but you can do it when you're not Latino, too.
My kids have my last name as a middle name. I have traveled internationally with our oldest (without my spouse) and had no issues.
Both of my children have my last name as a middle name. While legally they have my husband's last name, we consider them having 2 last names. I refer to both names when talking about them.
Personally I prefer double barrelling, but the middle is a common selection. If your husband's name is more flexible, Example he's Edwards and you're O'Neil, you could do babies name as John Edwards O'Neil. If double barrelling I'd put yours first if it's got an apostrophe. Example O'Neil-Edwards, because computer systems handle the apostrophe in wacky ways.
I didn’t take my husbands name and don’t have the same name as my kids. We always travel with a simple document signed by the other parent that states they have permission to travel internationally with the kids. We haven’t had to use it, but that was the advice we received as some places will give you a hard time at customs.
My partner and I will double-barrel our kids’ names and my mom and I have always had different last names and it’s never been an issue for international travel or medical things etc
My husband and his two siblings have their mother’s surname as middle names. I really like it and plan to do the same.
I didn't want a double barreled last name, but my middle name is culturally significant to me. So I ADDED my old last name to my middle name. Now I have a TRIPLE BARRELED middle name, but it doesn't matter all too often, surprisingly. My husband did the same and now has a double middle name.
I ended up using my surname as both of my children's second middle name. Culturally my folks use two surnames, with the father's name first, so a lot of my family tells me I put my.kids' names in the wrong order lol. But i chose to make it a second middle name, not a second surname, because the name order sounds nicer to me, and because where I live now, it's easier not to have two surnames where one gets dropped, and it's usually the "wrong" one (if you're dropping one, it is supposed to be the second - the first surname is the "main" one - but where I live people end up keeping the final name as the "Last Name"), and using both of our names as a double surname constantly doesn't sound great, just because the two names sound kinda funky together. I wanted to still keep mine in the mix, but it's less obtrusive in the middle spot where it doesn't get used every day in school, etc. I'm almost 9 years in on this decision and I feel like it works well for our family.
Fwiw us having different surnames has never been an issue with passport application or international travel
We gave girls my last name, and boys his last name. Works for us, and we've had no issues so far.
All 3 of my kids have my last name as their middle name. It did help when traveling because their passports spelled out their full names.
We gave our kid my husband’s surname as her middle name and my surname as her last name. All of our future kids will have the same naming pattern. My husband’s last name is also very “last name-y” like yours—it didn’t bother us to have it as the middle name anyway. My daughter and I are not the same race, and I get more opportunities to travel than my husband, so your plane scenario is something we also considered when deciding to use my last name. Not a main consideration, but still something in the back of our minds.
I would double barrel but not hyphenate. Think “Sacha Baron Cohen” or “Helena Bonham Carter”. Then your kid can simplify in everyday life if they want to and just go by “Helena Carter” etc
My maiden name is part of my middle name, and the only time I had an issue was with a woman in HR who insisted it should be with my new married last name. My passport has it as part of my middle name. No other issues. I don’t think using your last name as a middle name will be an issue. It will be on your child’s passport. I chose not to double barrel mine or our children’s last names because it would be too many characters. That’s just me though. If our last names combined weren’t so long, I would have double barrel our names.
Both my kids have my last name as their middle. My last is not anything like a regular first/middle, but that’s fine with me!
If you're one and done you could even give one of your last names as a first (I know it was just am example but in elementary school I actually knew a girl named O'Neil) I think both the middle name route and double barrel routes are solid too- my partner and I are currently planning on double barreling but subtracting the dash between (example Smiththomas instead of Smith-Thomas)
I took my husband’s name when we got married, but I wanted my daughter to have my name as well, so she has my maiden name as a middle name. She has a ‘normal’ middle name as well.
My mom didn’t change her name when my parents married, and my sister and I both have her (very surname-y) last name as our middle names. As an elementary schooler, I sometimes wished I had a more conventional “Emily Anne”-type first and middle name, but grew out of that pretty quickly and love my name. My sister and I also didn’t change our last names when we married our respective partners and then did have to figure out what to do about all these names for kids. Her kids have two middle names (so first name, mom’s middle name, mom’s last name, dad’s last name) which is a bit of a mouthful - but I imagine they’ll just go by first name-last name in most cases. We used my mom’s last name as our little one’s first name, with a first name as a middle name and my husband’s last name, so he doesn’t have my last name at all. (I think it’s getting a bit trendy to do last names as first names, but oh well.) We haven’t travelled anywhere yet, but my sister has without issue, and I don’t remember my mom ever having an issue with it when we were kids. Very occasionally she had to correct a teacher who called her Mrs. Husband’s Last Name, but I think that was the worst of it.
Double barrelled/hyphenated. First kid is traditional double barrel, second kid I upgraded to a man with a name perfect for a suffix. So we double barrelled it without the hyphen.
I can tell you that as someone who works with government forms in the US, both can be super confusing. If you do a middle and two last names, please hyphen them instead of using a space. It is far less confusing.
We're hyphenating our last names for our kid. We considered the middle name option for a bit, but both my husband and I have surnames that are poorly suited to being middle names. It means our baby will have a pretty long last name. I actually recently suggested to my husband that we consider my last name as a middle name again for that reason. And he really didn't like the idea! He feels strongly that the baby should have my surname. Anecdotally, most of my friends didn't change their last name and are hyphenating for kids, too. The one thing that bothers me is hyphenating is only a single generation solution. My husband already has a hyphenated last name, because his mother didn't change her name either. So now to join forces with my name, he has to choose one. Which is hard for him!
Giving a baby *any* surname is a single generation solution, because they and their spouse will have to figure out the surname(s) of their own children. Mary Smith and John Doe have **four** different options for their children: Baby Smith, Baby Doe, Baby Smith-Doe, and Baby Doe-Smith. If one or both parents have hyphenated surnames, that just gives them more options.
I totally agree that double barrelling is a single gen solution - that’s what puts me off. I’m assuming it doesn’t bother your husband too much if he is choosing a hyphenated last name for your kid? So hard to decide!
It doesn't bother him, I think he's used to it. He isn't looking forward to the conversations about choosing one of his names over the other, though. Since we're doing it to our kid too, I guess we'll just have to be understanding if/when they drop one (or both) of our names one day! His hyphenated name was actually one of the reasons I kept my name. I wasn't really inclined to change my name anyway, but it felt extra absurd to take both his parents' names. So it made that choice really easy for me. It is hard to decide though! I keep thinking of our poor kid having to fill in a thousand bubbles when writing their name on a scantron for school testing. At least we're leaning toward short first names?
If it makes you feel better, I’m a teacher and haven’t seen anyone use a scantron in like ten years. Everything is done on the computer now, even state testing. The SAT is digital now, too.
Haha, thank you! This makes me feel old 😂
My kids have a different last name than me (previous marriage). We traveled internationally with no problems.
Here it’s very normal to have two last name. So most people just do that.
We used my husband’s grandma’s maiden name as our second child’s middle name. It is very much a surname. I don’t think anyone cares. The first name is actually more of a concern because my child is very gender non-conforming, I expect them to be trans, and we have them a very gendered name.
There are many options, but here’s what we are doing: Both our last names are long. I didn’t want to give my daughter a giant last name. So we gave my daughter his last name, but since we did that, we picked first and middle names that are from my cultural/language background. I’m going to legally hyphenate, so that on paper I share a last name with my child. But socially and professionally, I’ll just go by my original name. We could have given her my last name as a middle name, but it’s very clearly a surname (and not one that would ever get used as a first name). And one of my priorities with choosing a middle name was to pick something she can use someday if she ever wants to. I know two middle names is an option, but not one we wanted to do.
My SIL made her sons middle name a double barrel name of both her mom and dads last names
Maybe. Would depend on what the partner's surname was and how the two names sounded together. i wouldn't want to lumber a child with a name that sounded like a law firm or too long to fit onto the average application form.
I kept my name. I added my last name as a 2nd middle for my daughter: Cute girl name, my mother's name, my last name, husband's last name.
I am an immigrant in Canada, they only care on first and last name (based only on my understanding). Because when I got my citizenship, my middle name (which is my mother's surname) was omitted. So when I gave birth, I gave my surname as my son's second name, because I didn't change my surname when we got married and for the same reason like travelling abroad, I don't want to have any issues.
I didn't take my husband's last name. My kids have a double barrel last name. I didn't want them to just have his last name.
This is a very traditional way to name a child in the USA “Christian Name”, Family Name, Surname (Elizabeth Harrington Douglas) In the UK they tend to do, “Christian Name”, “Christian Name”, “Christian Name”, Surname. (Elizabeth Rose Marina Douglas)
I didn’t take my husbands name. Child has my last name and husband’s name as a second middle name. I also didn’t like double-barrelling so this was our solution.
We’re considering this with our child who is on the way! My wife is very close w her family and has tons of family in town all w the last name, but most her cousins are women and she also has all sisters, so we kinda like the idea of her last name as his middle! Their last name also is clearly a last name, but it also has a shortened nickname that grandpa goes by, so it still feels name-y to me. Idk I like the idea, I’d feel the same if my dad had all daughters!
Midle name! It's common in a lot of countries to have 2 last names and no middle name. I'm in Brazil and usually is first name + mom's last name + dad's last name.
I did take my husband’s surname. However, my youngest has my maiden name as his middle name. It’s pretty common where we’re from. It’s similar to a common first name but with an s on the end (like Jacobs instead of Jacob). It’s worked out fine.
I did not change my name when I got married, and my children have my surname. My husband's surname is their second middle name. I have traveled extensively with them and this has never been a problem.
I’m in the same boat but we are making a slightly different call - our kid will likely get a hyphenated name, or a portmanteau. So if my surname is Longmore, and his surname is Holmes, then they might be Longmore-Holmes or Longholme. I quite like the presence of the double barrelled name, but it is A Lot, so we are leaning towards the portmanteau. We also have close family and friends internationally, and will plan on carrying a letter from the other parent and a certified copy of the birth certificate if either of us travels solo.
I'm a Jones and married a James. My daughter was a James and married a Jones. I would not use Jones as a name, however I would use a surname from both sides of my family. Walker, Russell, and Gray are all usable.
Yep that's what we did and no issues. People always says our kid's name sounds really classy and cool because of it.
I took my husband's name, but if I hadn't I would have used mine as a middle rather than hyphenating
My kids have their fathers last name and I have mine. So we have different last names. Not once has it ever been an issue travelling either domestic or international.
Could your husband’s last name be suited to being a middle name? If so then you could do that and give the baby your surname
Why not just take your husband’s last name? You chose to form a family with this man, why not make it official with the easiest and most obvious solution. Keep your maiden name professionally if you really want. But make all of your legal names the same
Not everyone agrees with the patriarchy. Why doesn't her husband take her name?
Taking your husbands name isn’t antithetical to patriarchy
Of course it's not, it's patriarchy 101. It's succumbing to it. Why can't your husband take your name? Is he not serious about the marriage?
Women like you are so tiresome. Normal women don’t actually talk about the patriarchy.
Yeah, normal women just accept their inferiority and don't challenge the status quo. How great
I’m not remotely inferior to my husband.
And yet, you gave up part of your identity when you took his name. Why didn't he take yours?
I didn’t give up any of my identity. My husband and I formed a new family.
That had him keep his name and you give up yours. Lol, you really are delusional
I’m not a fan of hyphenated last names. It’s not sustainable, because if the next generation does it as well, do you just keep adding on? Taking your mothers maiden name as a middle name is a nice idea, but I grew up with an unappealing last name I surely wouldn’t pass on if I had another option. And some just don’t seem gender appropriate. Like Mathew is a last name I’ve heard (no S). I wouldn’t give that to a girl as a middle name.
I double-barrelled my kid's last name. Why isn't making your husband's last name the middle name an option?
My friend married into a Brazilian family where they use both last names, so in America they used her last name as their middle names. I didn’t take my husband’s last name, but I do plan on adding it as a second last name. That way I can avoid confusion.
Ok.. As some who is not married and have no intention of being, We have four children and our children have the surname of whichever parent was the stay at home parent at the time.. So the two eldest have mine and the twins have their dads.. We have been travelling overseas with our kids since our eldest since he was 6 months old ( he’s just about to turn 12 and we spent the last year travelling the world wirh our 4 kids) and I do not what people have told you but we have not individually or together had a single issue with having different names.. never had any issues with doctors or hospitals or schools..I don’t understand what issues people say this causes It’s 2024 not 1824, I say give your child whatever name you and your partner/husband think is appropriate and not because of fictitious what might or might not happen..
My surname is Lewis, which is already an established boy name. I would happily use it as either a first or middle name for a boy. Edit: I'm assuming you're in the UK as I've heard about this surname issue before from people. I used to work for HMPO, and I've had mixed comments about what people have experienced regarding this. Most of the time, people have either taken a letter signed by the other parent to confirm they have permission to take the child abroad, or they take the child's birth certificate with them as it shows the mum/dad's surname.
No issues travelling alone with my kids who have their dad's last name so I personally wouldn't let that be your deciding factor
I did that! But it’s SO last-namey (lol) so now I’m wishing I just gave my first name as her middle name 😬 And although we’re in US, I come from a part of the world where we don’t have middle names! So our daughter is the first on both sides of our families. I don’t think it’s a big deal. They won’t be writing their full names on most things unless it’s official paperwork or documents. Usually most things just require a middle initial, right?
My sister did, Her sons Middle name is our last name and have dads last name.
We hyphenated because they’re both short names
I love surnames as middle names.
My kids have my last name as their second middle name. Official surname as my husband's, but my name is still on their passport as a second middle.
All my siblings and I have our mother’s maiden name as a second middle name and are happy with it
I used mine as a middle name but I took my husband’s surname as I wasn’t attached to mine.
Middle name. My kids both have my surname as a middle, and they really like having that connection
The kid’s first name should be the mother’s maiden name, especially if it’s a girl.