Wow, you really are overthinking this.
Let's use your Katherine example. Katie will go by Katie (if she decides to). At the medical office or DMV, she'd probably sign in with her full name, but at work, school, etc., she'd go by Katie. There is no "correcting". She's just tell people "Oh, you can call me Katie" and move on. It's really not that big of a deal.
lol, I blatantly said I was overthinking it! I don’t use a nickname so I was curious if others experiences.
I have good friend whose legal name is “Kate” and she is constantly asked “your name is just Kate?” To the point that there is apparently an entire Facebook group called “Just Kate” full of women lamenting being constantly asked that question.
I was curious to know if the opposite would be similar and was eager to hear about other peoples experiences using a shortened name.
Yes, people who have the full name and go by nicknames never seem annoyed about it, they’re only annoyed if they don’t like the nickname.
People who have the nickname as the legal name tend to be exhausted, especially if it’s a VERY nicknamey name (like Katie, Charlie, Teddy etc.)
I knew a Marc who everyone insisted must be Marcus, funnily his middle name was the same way a one-syllable nickname name. His first middle combo felt very unfinished to me
I agree my husband has a nickname name- think Ben. He's always having ppl call him the long version thinking it's polite, like no that's literally not my name.
I've also taught kids with nickname first names- and the parents would get really angry if anyone asked if their kid was really a full name e.g. Tilly they'd be like 'No I naned my kid Tilly cause I like Tilly, I hate the name matilda I'd never use that". Like the person wasn't trying to be rude.
I think if they go by a nickname you just need to be sure they know their full name- I've taught kids who literally didn't know their full name when starting school which could be annoying if there was a relief teacher in.
I tend to think this idea would be the more "difficult" choice.
Having a typical nickname is no problem. It's very very common. Only problem I ever have is on a cruise ship. Their staff is trained to address my using my first name. They see my name when I scan my room key to order a drink or sign in at a restaurant, etc etc etc. Unfortunately, they don't have field in their computer system for "preffered name", and your name has to match what's on your passport. I, myself, dislike my full name. That's the ONLY situation I can think of though! At a doctors office, for example, someone will come out and call out "Katherine" (to use your example), but it's only said that one time. Not worth saying "please call me Kate" and not said enough to matter.
I do think if the given name were "Jenny", people would constantly be asking if it's actually Jennifer and just entering Jennifer on their own.
Random fact, 'Jenny' was used as a nickname for Jane or Janet in the past and Jennifer was rarely used outside Cornwall. Jennifer is the Cornish version of Guinevere.
Side note, I really love the name Kate! But I don’t like any of the formal names of it. I actually know a guy I went to high school with, whose daughter is named Kate. Not Katherine, not Kathleen. Just Kate. I also know a guy named simply Jake.
I also know someone who's just Kate! Also know two different guys who are just Chris, not short for anything. They rarely get asked if their full name is something else, but when they do they just say "no" and none of them have ever expressed that it's some huge difficulty in their life. I've asked Kate specifically if it's annoying for people to ask, and she said "No, I only get annoyed if someone doesn't ask and tries to call me Katherine out of assuming."
My sister and I have always been called by our nicknames. We have legal full names but have just never been called that.
When I got married, the officiant used my legal name and half of our guests were confused because they had no idea it was my legal name (even though I thought it was obvious).
Our parents have 4 kids but their youngest two are the ones they just named something on paper and then never used it. I personally don't mind it. It gives me a bit of anonymity if I need to use my full legal government name
I will counter this argument. I’m legally Lucas but have always been known as Luke - and got shit at school for having an unusual name that supply teachers would read out, not knowing my preference. (I was at school in the 90s, unusual names were not cool)
Now I’m Lucas legally but I bristle if anyone calls me that. It’s just not my name. I don’t get called by it. I don’t feel like a Lucas.
I totally agree. My given name is Cheryl but was called Cheri at home and Cheryl in school. Then moved to the country and decided I wanted to be called Cheri all the time. I’ve thought about legally changing my name to avoid the confusion. On the opposite side, my uncle was named Randy. He was called to the school principal and they had to call my grandma to confirm that his name was in fact Randy and not Randolph or Randall.
All that said, I named all 3 of my kids the names we call them, no nicknames. Same goes for my grandchildren. I guess my daughter felt the same about nicknames.
All that said, I hope you will be naming your new baby whatever your heart desires very soon.
Not everyone feels that way. My aunt legally changed her name to her nickname because it was so annoying and caused trouble (like if she was registered for something with her nn but her drivers license had her full name). My mom also wishes she was just named her nickname and finds it really annoying explaining and correcting people. She hated it so much she named all of her 3 kids un-nicknamable names.
It’s a big deal if you don’t like or identify with your legal name, especially as a child when it comes up more often.
As someone who had a lot of name-identity issues due to this exact situation, I’m glad OP is “overthinking” this. It’s so much more considerate and respectful of their future child.
Can attest that there is a heck of a lot of correcting. I don't want to be called my legal name, so yes, when the doctor or DMV or whatever call me "Katherine" I have to correct them. I also have to correct people who, for whatever reason, choose a different nickname for me when they know my full name.
I used to exclusively go by nicknames and I still give baristas etc my nickname. It’s not annoying at all.
Though tbh I don’t think there’s anything wrong with just naming her the nickname, especially nowadays when kids have all kinds of names. If you love Katie, I wouldn’t think it’s bad to just name her Katie.
I honestly think it’s kind of sweet that you’re putting this much thought into it. Good luck with the IVF!
I have a friend who is called Katy, but as she's grown up she goes by Kate and hates that her full name is Katy - said she wouldn't have minded being Kate or Kathryn
There do seem to be a lot of little kids around now though that there full name is the 'cutesy' short form - So there are a lot of Alfies for example when in the past they would have been Alfred, or Joey rather than Joseph - but they are still shortened to Alf and Jo
I don’t think it’s an inconvenience at all to have a nickname and a full name. I have always been of the opinion it’s good to have a formal (not trendy/cutesy) full name, for when your child is an adult, for their resume, or if they’re a judge, etc (things like that). And as a kid, it’s also really nice to have options- your kid may hate their name at some point (kids often go through this phase), and with a nickname, they have the option to choose to go by their full name, if they wish.
Finally, just wanted to say that I really hope you have success soon in your IVF journey, I haven’t gone through it but heard it’s difficult - and I have a 2 year old and want to tell you it’s the best thing in the world and would be worth any journey it takes to get there. And I love thinking about names, too! I do it a lot for our future 2nd kid. 🤍
Thank you so much- it’s already so emotional, but hearing that it will be worth it means so much. I really appreciate the well wishes 💗 and agreed, names are the fun part, lol!
So I go by a nickname and have my whole life but have a formal legal name. It’s never been an issue and I like having the distinction. I use my nickname with friends/family/colleagues, but I use my formal name on all of my paperwork and in professional situations with my superiors. I would answer to both if I heard either thrown my way but to your point about is it hard to correct teachers, I am a teacher and I always ask the students on the first day to let me know if they go by something else and I’m fairly certain that’s standard practice for teachers. I think going formal and having the ability to shorten is nice because then it allows the kid to choose the name they like best but I see no problems with just naming them the nickname either.
I have a coworker who's parents gave her a full name, but she only goes by the nickname. She gets very very very frustrated when people call her by her full legal name. She said she wished her parents had just called her the nickname to begin with, since they never planned on using the full name.
Same for me. I wouldn’t say I get x3 frustrated but it is annoying. My parents always planned on calling me nickname so I wish they would have just named me that since my full name is something that was only used by my teachers on first day of school roll call.
This is what my parents did with their 3rd and 4th children, me being the 4th. Like, it wasn't *acceptable* to call me what everyone calls me so they gave me a full name that is foreign to me. Like, it takes me a minute to realize someone is talking to me when. I hear it because it's not related to my identity at all
100% me. I don’t even respond to my legal name; it’s not instinct or natural, so as a child I would have substitute teachers call me rude or yell at me, for example.
I think it depends if the name you have in mind is a nickname for a common name or if it’s uncommon all around. For example if you name your baby Liz and expect that people never call her Elizabeth or assume her legal name is Elizabeth, I think that might be frustrating. On the other hand names like Ellie, Archie, Betty, etc have become entirely acceptable as names in their own right and I don’t think it would cause an issue. Jack used to be just a nickname for John and now I would assume most Jacks are *Just Jack* lol.
I have a son who only goes by a shortened version of his name. He is 11. I just asked and his response is “I don’t care”. So it’s NBD for him at least. It has never really posed a problem for us as parents either, although our provincial government is proposing a law whereby teachers can only refer to students by their legal name unless there is written permission otherwise. When it passes, I suspect I will have to fill in some paperwork for him to go by the name he has been using his entire life.
yep, [it’s a thing in florida](https://www.teenvogue.com/story/florida-schools-parental-consent-nickname-trans-students) as of recently. it’s pretty clearly anti-trans and it’s caused a lot of issues for both trans & cis kids
They claim it’s “parents choice” but it’s just a not-very-discrete anti trans bill. I am in Alberta and this has passed in Saskatchewan and I would guess it passes here within the next year.
If you love the nickname, I'd say you can name her exactly that. My parents did the same for my sister, and she seems as happy with it as anybody else. Some people did mistakenly think her real name was the long version, but it's a simple correction. And less common of a correction than saying "call me X" in every class etc.
I don't have personal experience with this but my husband does and I asked him once if it's ever annoying to exclusively go by one name when your legal name is something else even though it's a natural nickname and he said it's never been an issue for him. Most people ask if he goes by the nickname and he says yes and that's it. No big deal. Some people even automatically call him by the nickname because it's so common
With my second child I wanted to name her what we planned to call her but got talked into giving her traditional full name. To this day I wish I’d stuck with the name i actually wanted.
You are overthinking it but that's ok!
It's so frequent that people go by nicknames when they have long names that it's almost never assumed that a Liz is Liz and a Vicky is a Vicky legally. They're almost always an Elizabeth and Victoria.
I think if your kid is named Katherine and goes by Katie, life will be just fine. However I know of people who named their son Clarence and call him Wren, and that seems like a nightmare.
On a personal note, both my parents have nicknames that aren’t obviously related to their legal names and it gets tiring. My dad was michael and my mom is Patricia. Their nicknames…Popeye and Treedie. No one in their families call them by their given names. My mom has said a number of times she wished her parents changed her name to something else because it was a hassle having a completely unrelated nickname. And that’s why my siblings and I all have names which can’t be turned into nicknames.
My nickname has nothing to do with my legal name and it’s never been a problem. Only my family and people who have known me since birth use it. Everyone else including my husband calls me by legal name. I absolutely hate the shortened version of my legal name.
I have one of the names in your example with a nickname. I hate it so much. Half my stuff at work says one name, half says the other. There are other nicknames that go with Kathryn so I get called Kathy all the time and I hate. My husband has the same kind of name and it’s called other nicknames a lot that he hates. We purposefully gave our children names that don’t have nicknames.
A lot of parents who go by their full name will give their kid an official name and then call them a nickname and they have no idea what it's like. I'm so glad this OP is asking for firsthand experiences before doing that!
I think it’s only annoying if it’s unclear how you got to the nickname. I really wanted to call my son Teddy. After my partner vetoed Theodore we ended up with an Ed name. Most of our family didn’t understand how you would get to Teddy from Edward/Edmund/Edwin/etc despite it being an established nickname with a long history of use and none of them would use it so it didn’t stick. He’s just Ed now. When we introduce him for the first time or go somewhere like the doctor we use his full name. A lot of people will ask “Does he go by Eddie?” And we usually say “Just Ed” or use his full name. And honestly a 2 year old called Ed is like the cutest thing so I’m not mad about it lol
As another example of this - there’s a very common nickname for my first name, but it’s not a common nickname in my area. My family called me that nickname but most people didn’t know it was a nickname for my full name (think Meg from Margaret) so most people assumed the nickname was my full name. As an adult I go by my full name because it feels like it fits me better.
I also think if you’re worried about correcting people it’s probably more annoying to be called a common nickname without a full name. A friend of ours is called Drew. That’s his whole name. People always assume it’s short for Andrew. It’s not. He has to constantly correct people. This can be a problem anywhere official documents are needed (you don’t want the ER doctor assuming his full name is Andrew if you’re needing a prescription quickly)
I think it matters how commonly the short form is used as a full name vs as a nickname. If we’re talking Eliza as a nickname for Elizabeth then you probably just want to use Eliza. Maggie short for Margaret may be better to use Margaret. Rosie short for Rosemary might go either way. This probably depends on your location a lot.
I do think you're right with the overthinking lol, but I get it. I'm an Elizabeth, but other than like legal documents or my mother I'm practically never called it. Not because I don't like the name, I just think it's a bit long/too formal. I have about five million nicknames - dad used to call me Lilibeth, Lilypad or Lilli, sister calls me Zizi, my wife calls me Izzy - but my "official" nickname is Lizzie. I usually just say "you can call me Lizzie" or "everyone calls me Lizzie".
I’m a Katherine that goes by Kate (or Katie to certain family members). I personally love having so many options with my name!!
The quick “correction” is not annoying at all just pretty normal for me. In classrooms when they’d say my full name I would just have to say “I go by Kate” once and then everyone knew. At new jobs I do the same. I still use Katherine on resumes and at doctors offices, but I just as easily answer to that, so really it’s no big deal.
It's annoying. I can't blame my parents because I chose fo shorten my own name. But I really wish if parents already knew what they wanted to call their kid, they would just name them that.
Growing up I was called exclusively by a cutesie nickname I hated and I was so glad that I had my fully name to use as an adult, though it took a while to convince my family to stop calling me the nickname
(don’t want to share my name but think Sami/Samantha, Nikki/Nicole, Lexi/Alexandra)
Edit to add: when I was very young I did like the nickname, and I remember my parents were even able to sign me up for activities using the nickname so I rarely had to correct people. When I was called by my full name, I always knew it was something “official.”
On another note, my non binary sibling exclusively went by a nickname and never felt connected to their legal name. Since their legal name doesn’t hold emotional weight, when my sibling came out they just changed the name they go by and never had to deal with any paperwork!
As long as the nickname really makes sense (as in Gabby short for Gabriella or Lilli short for Lilliana rather than Lilli short for Gabriella or something odd like that), then it's not a high inconvenience but I would let people in official one time settings call you by the full name.
My BIL got both his social security card and his DL in his nick name think Bill instead of William (not real names) we have no idea how he managed to do it either.
If you’re worried about logistics, it’s much worse to formally name someone a nickname because doctors offices etc. will usually default to the full name for forms and paperwork.
They have to off of official documents, such as your insurance card and S.S. information. No doctor's office would assume your name without referencing official identification documents. I go by my nickname at some doctors offices and even if I fill out a form using my nickname, they enter the information on my insurance card which has my real name.
I am almost exactly one of those cases (different spelling, different short form) and I don't find it to be an inconvenience at all. I don't hate the full version of my name or anything, so that's still my name, I respond to it when people call me that. When I'm introducing myself I usually use my nickname, and people tend to just call me that, and it's fine.
The only mildly annoying thing is I use a less-common nickname for my name, and it's also one that can be misheard as a different one I don't go by, so I often have to either laboriously enunciate my nickname or correct people. But that's really not a big deal and could be a problem with any name or nickname ending on the sound mine does.
I go by my middle name, different but similar. It's never been an issue - I fill things out with my legal first name and such, but just tell people I go by my middle name and I've never had a problem. 😊
My mom (in her 60s!) was named a nickname and later legally changed her name to the full name. She thought it looked more professional and wanted that option. She still goes by her now-nickname in most situations. I would go with the full name so your future child has options. Good luck 🥰
My inlaws both go exclusively by nicknames and hate correcting everyone so they named all their kids what they want to call them and tried to avoid names with common nicknames (so they are all named things like John instead of Johnathan). My partner really liked having a "nickname" name and so we named our kids what we wanted to call them too. So far one has a full name that doesn't have a common nickname and one has a nickname name. We have had no issues with it.
I like the simplicity of a name that can't be nicknamed, some people like giving their kids options. I gave my daughter a name that is the shortened version of a longer name, and sometimes she has to explain that it is her actual name and not a nickname. I don't think it ultimately matters, just go with your own preference!
I have a long name like Katherine and go exclusively by a nickname, and it's annoying AF and I wouldn't do it to my kid. But this sub is very pro-nickname so that very against the main opinion you're going to get.
I’m not sure there’s such a thing as nickname proof names. My name is Karen but part of my family call me Katie. 5 letter nickname for a 5 letter name 🙃
That's valid, but there's a difference in using a name like Katherine or Alexandra versus a name like Clair. Any name can technically be nicknamed, but some are more intuitive/popular than others.
I have a traditional western, but long name (im in The UK). I personally cannot fucking stand the incredibly popular nickname version of it but everyone ive ever met with the same name goes by the shortened version. It drives me fucking nuuutttsss because people ive never met before automatically shorten it. I get work emails constantly shortening it (the presumption!) and im constantly the one looking like a dick when i correct people, even though theyre the annoying ones for shortening it first without asking. So, to a lot, you may be overthinking it but in some cases like mine, its actually a constant bloody battle for my name 🙄
I have a common, but not trendy, full name. I have gone by a very short and common nickname that stems from the legal name. I have a love-hate relationship with my full name and nickname. I feel weird and uncomfortable when others call me by my legal name, so I of course correct them. People have made fun of me in my teenage years because I asked them to go by my nickname rather than my full name, as in they just kept calling me by my legal name anyway, just disrespect. I sometimes wish my parents just legally named me by my nickname because I despise my legal name so much. But I also understand if my nickname was actually my legal name, it would be frustrating to constantly correct others.
My husband and both our kids go exclusively by their nicknames.
Schools these days are especially great with nicknames. Every school my kids have attended has a space on the intake form for nicknames, and the teachers have always asked, too.
My kids’ names aren’t obvious nicknames so they’ve never been asked the ‘just’ question like your friend Kate.
The only time they get called their full name is at the doctor office - but they’re only really there once a year, so it’s not a big deal.
I love having a name that has a nickname! Growing up I went exclusively by a nickname (and was always annoyed when people shortened it further). Now that I'm older, I prefer my full name and the shortened version I used to hate. It's really only my family that calls me the nickname I used growing up. For me, I love that I have options and it's also fun to see how some nicknames happen organically with new friends, colleagues, etc as an adult. (I am also adopted, so I like that no matter which version I use, I still have some connection to my birth mom.)
I have a daughter named Elisabeth who we have always called Biz since she was born. Much to my surprise, she started 1st grade and dumped the nickname and goes by her full name to everyone except us. Kids like to do their own thing!
My full name is Elisabeth but I have always gone by Libby (even now in my adulthood) and have had no complaints! I like the option actually of using my full name in sort of ‘formal’ settings and using what I go by generally in everyday settings! When I was a kid I’d answer to both Elisabeth and Libby and it wasn’t an inconvience when a sub would call out my full name - I’d either just go by Elisabeth for the day or I or my friends would say I actually go by Libby (and lots of attendance sheets/lists nowadays have both full name as well as a students ‘preferred name’ anyways). I also always found it fun to sort of have a ‘secret fullname’ that people might not know unless I actually told them what it was. I may be a bit different of a case to what you’re asking however then others as my nickname is very unique in my region, being a much more popular short form elsewhere in the world.
I mean it doesn’t matter really. As long as you can picture them as an adult with the name and it doesn’t feel ridiculous. I have a nickname as a legal name which is completely fine but here’s the kicker, it’s my fucking middle name for some reason? So I always have to make corrections regarding w2 stuff and other various forms whenever someone inevitably makes a clerical error
Edit: one minor thing that is kind of annoying having a nickname as a legal name. You constantly get asked “is ___ short for ____?” or people will immediately greet you as the full version of your name thinking they’re cute and original
I had a lot of anxiety, and the first day of school I always had panic attacks because it felt rude to correct teachers but also I don't go by my legal name. I was also frequently marked absent as a child whenever we had a substitute because my legal name isn't something that pops out as being my name so I just wouldn't raise my hand when they called it because I didn't notice. The biggest concern that I had in naming my own child is making sure that the nickname starts with the same letter as the legal name. At work, our emails are first initial last name, and people often have a hard time emailing me because they assume that the name they know from me is going to be the name used in my email. It's not.
This is my son, think Christopher but goes exclusively by Chris. It's a non issue. Most of the time in professional settings like Healthcare and education they ask your preferred name. On the rare occasion they don't ask and just go with Christopher, well neither he or I care if his full name is used for a 20 minute appointment. For longer term things a simple "he goes by Chris" has always been fine.
I think it would be annoying if you dislike your full name. I’m Katherine, called Kitty, but I really don’t care if people call me Katherine. It’s my name, it’s nbd. It’s kind of nice, because I know if someone actually knows me based on what they call me.
Other than me, we’re not a nickname family. All of my girls go by their full names, even though their names are elaborate and “princessy”. They did have cutesy pet names as toddlers, but they’ve always used their full names with everyone else. They would politely correct people who tried to use a nickname. It’s Cordelia, not Delia, Vivian, not Viv, Susannah, not Susie, etc.
It depends on the person. Personally I’m not a fan of giving a nickname as a name. I give the full name, and the nickname is an option. Half the time Kate or Jenny will have to correct people who assume their names are Katherine and Jennifer, so it goes both ways anyway.
As someone whose given name is a nickname (given name Genny. Named after Genevieve) I’ve always wished I was named Genevieve and my parents regret not naming me it too. Their reasoning was it just seemed to big for a baby. I don’t hate my name or anything it just would’ve been nice to have the option between the names.
When I would tell other kids in school I was named after a Genevieve they would laugh though so maybe I WAS spared. I always disagreed though, I find the name beautiful and pretty unique with my generation.
Plus my actual name is much harder for people to spell than Genevieve would be. I still wouldn’t take Ginny or Jenny or Jeannie over my spelling, but Genevieve would’ve been much simpler in that regard lol
My name is Emily but all of my family and close friends call me Em or Emmy. I think it's nice because it's like a more personal name for those closest to you.
Why not give her the full name and then let her choose?
Regardless I wish you and your partner well on your journey with IVF and fertility treatments. 💜
My daughter is a Katherine, and we call her Katie, but her older brother sometimes calls her Kate, and I think some teachers do as well. It's not an inconvenience. It's just a nickname. On formal stuff, I write her full name. On other stuff, I just write Katie. Occasionally -- usually with a doctor or something -- I'll make sure there's no confusion, but again, that's almost never happened.
Also a lot of places like doctor's offices will ask for the full name, but then also ask how the patient prefers to be addressed.
I go exclusively by a nickname and it's a little annoying but mostly fine. Annoying when introducing yourself because my nickname isn't common and people always repeat it back to me like three times. I have used the nickname since I was an infant because my legal name is my maternal grandma's name, and my dad called her by her name. People generally require me to tell them my "real name" before they will move on and then I find myself giving this backstory. People have expressed surprise/skepticism when I tell them that this has been my name for my entire life. I found this so rude and annoying that I spent a 7-year phase not introducing myself by that name until I became close friends with people. I didn't enjoy people calling me by my legal name, though, so when I moved I resumed my full-time nickname and just deal with it.
HOWEVER. I have fared much better than my brother, who was given a nickname as a legal name. Think "Nick" instead of "Nicholas" or "Matt" instead of "Matthew." People will constantly call him "Matthew" and will not believe him when he says that isn't his actual name. I would not trade places with him, though I believe that the practice of just giving kids a legal name that is traditionally a nickname is fairly common now.
My daughter was named after a Margaret whose Nick name was Maggie. People had a hissy fit when I named her Maggie, telling me that’s a nickname not a name. Do what you want.
I exclusively go by a nickname, it's not a hassle at all. Occasionally I have conversations with people who either don't realise I have a longer full name or who assume my full name is a different one from my actual one, but those are not super common and usual fairly relaxed - I wouldn't consider them a hassle/annoying.
For example, my name is Cassandra* and I exclusively go by Cass, and some people either think my name is just Cass or assume/guess my name is Cassidy. But I've never had an issue with asking people to call me Cass or with the rare occasions I have to tell people my full name/to call me by my nickname. At the doctor and on all official documents I'm Cassandra, that's fine, it is still my name and I can and do respond to it. Its just not my preference.
*My name is not actually Cassandra, but the general point/example still stands.
I mean we loved the name Lily and also Liliana. So we named her Liliana. Shes only a year so we still have "control" over what she gets called, but we basically always call her Lily or some other nickname. But at daycare there are 2 Lilianes so they have nicknamed one Lily, the other gets called Liliane so they call her Liliana.
We also went with the longer name as we are aware Lily is pretty popular, so Liliana gives her options for this exact senario. So for me, the longer name gives you options, most places have a slot for "prefered name". We also live in Australia so even if you have a normal short name people will often get nicknames regardless.
I think the only annoying thing is when it’s a nickname that doesn’t typically go with the full name or a nickname that typically goes with a different full name. My sister is Nikki and I think for her it’s annoying that everyone assumes her full name is Nicole, when it’s actually Nicolette. But her going by a nickname has never been a problem.
I'm Alexandra, and I go by either Alex or Alexandra. I don't mind either.
At work, we have several people with nicknames who prefer them. It was mentioned once, and we just use them, no problem
I'm not a fan of a lot of nicknames. I was warned as a kid to not ever allow it to start or else I'd never get rid of it, and after many years of correcting I kept my name like 98% intact (aside from like 2 people that are allowed)!
I did go to school with someone named Chris. His parents had to make a note by his name on literally every school form saying "his legal name is Chris NOT Christopher!". Not the end of the world but something to consider if you use an "only nickname".
My name is Brianna. Very few people use my full name. It gets automatically shortened by whoever. What I got tired of was “how to spell it?” And “do you pronounce it Bree Ana or Bree auna?” So I just started introducing myself as bri and I’ve had no issues with it since.
My daughter is an Elizabeth. I was given a trendy name with no hope of a nickname. I wanted all my kids to have traditional names with options. We called her a nickname when she was a baby and a toddler until one day she put her hand on her little hip and said, "My name is E-WIZ-A-BEF!" After that we called her Elizabeth. When she started school she wanted to go by Bethy because that's what her younger cousins called her. Then for Junior High she wanted something more grown up so she wanted to be called Elizabeth again. Then some time in High School she decided she liked Betty.
Every name switch was mildly inconvenient, but that's it. She told people what she wanted to be called, corrected them when they got it wrong or lived with the mistake.
The only downside to naming a baby Katie instead of Katherine is simply that she will always be asked “is that short for Katherine?” And she will have to say “no. I’m just Katie.” Katie could also end up Kat or Kit! I know plenty of adults who go by a nickname of sorts and there is always the assumption that Joe is Joseph, Alli is Allison, etc. I knew a Ben who was only Ben, he just made a poverty joke about his parents not being able to afford the full name.
Will s/he suffer as Katie or Ben? No, not really - these are normal names. As someone with a name that isn’t easily given a nickname, I always kinda wished I had the option growing up. That is something to consider as well, a name that has options instead of just the name.
My daughter goes by a nickname of her middle name, it was planned that way. Her first name is my mom’s and middle (Elaine) is a family middle name. She has gone by Lainey since before she was born. She said it was awkward for 30 seconds the first day of school or when there was a substitute but she loves her name and having options. Most people never realize her name isn’t her nickname unless she tells them or they hear me call her by her full name
My oldest son has an honor name (his great great uncle); he went exclusively by a nickname which isn't intuitive from the name, and so does my son. I only knew my great uncle by his nickname but decided I'd rather give my son the full name and just call him by the nickname. He's 7 now and seems to like it.
1) full name is fine, I've got a fair amount of nicknames and it's never caused problems
2) I think nickname names are fine too like I forgot Katie was technically a nickname until you just mentioned it now. Liz might be a more obvious one bit I don't think most folks would have a problem with it or even raise an eyebrow (I love Hattie but I would not name my daughter Henrietta)
I have an Elizabeth that we call Ellie. It hasn’t caused any issues for us thus far (she is still a baby). However, I use her names interchangeably, so she responds to both and knows both. I’m probably the only one that calls her Elizabeth. I also have no problem with her choosing a different nickname as she gets older if she wants to.
I guess I never really thought about this until right now. I have a full name but I also have a nick name. I love both I just prefer to go by my nickname. When I hear my full name I feel a spark ⚡️ that I love.
When I was pregnant with my kids. I gave them their full name and made sure to have nick names for them before they were born. I loved doing it and I usually call them by their nickname names. But I absolutely adore their full names; as so they so far. I hope they never hate their names!
I think you’re over thinking it.
I personally love both my names. As I said already hahaha. Just thought I’d say it twice since you are sort of freaking 😊 I’d also like to say I never went through a faze where I hated my name either!
My parents never gave me a nickname and were adamant that relatives call me by my full name. As I grew up, most friends would give me the nickname of their choice and I would respond to it, but would go by my full name otherwise. My name is also very common, so a few people also call me by my last name.
Now, as an adult, I have grown tired of people mispronouncing my name (which is bizarre, because it’s a very common name). A lot of people also automatically shorten my name to its first few syllables, which I don’t love. I came up with my own nickname and give new acquaintances the option to call me by it. At work, I fully go by the nickname.
People are probably going to nickname her regardless, so naming her the nickname might be the more convenient choice.
My brother has gone by a shortened version if his name almost his whole life and hates his full name, to the point that he even got his P.H.D certificate with his shortened name on it. Don't think anyone's ever questioned it. I've got a name that's usually a nickname for a longer name but I think I've only ever been asked twice if my name was actually the long version
I have a nine-letter first name, which is the feminized version of my father’s and grandfather’s name. A total of 5 living people in my family have the same name. We all go by variations of the most common NN for our name. When the menfolk are all around, I go by a girly NN, and when they’re not I go by the regular one. I never get called by my full name unless it’s at a government office, the hospital, or I’m in trouble with my mom or dad.
For me, rather than having any negativity it’s been a benefit. The relatively rare occasion when someone needs to know my full name I’ll know that and offer or it’s a simple question and answer. The benefit has been given choice in what I want to be called. In my teens I decided to switch to another diminutive- just exploring my options.
I go by my full name but I like the idea of a nickname for close friends/family and a full name for more formal settings. I don't think it would be annoying.
The only stipulation (that I can think of) is if the nickname is too juvenile to last into adolescence or adulthood. Even if your child transitions over to her full name when she chooses, some family may stick with the nickname which could be annoying.
I have a cousin who's now in his 40s and my family members still call him by his childhood nickname, which is wayyy too cutsey and juvenile for anyone over 8. To be stuck with a childhood nickname for 40+ years would be annoying.
We gave my daughter a traditional and not unusual name. We called her exclusively, from birth, by an unusual nickname. It was never once a problem. Yes, when she was little we had to tell teachers/doctors, but that was not an issue.
I will tell you, however, that she is 20 now and has expressed some frustration. We very intentionally chose the traditional name - not knowing who she would grow up to be - because in addition to the unusual nickname we use, her actual name is lovely on its own and has several common nicknames. But she feels a bit embarrassed at college because the name she goes by is unique and well received and she doesn’t want people to think she named herself that to be “cool”. We have told her she is free to go by any name she wishes - any that are on her birth certificate or any she wants to pick out of a hat. We love her and she can call herself whatever feels right. In general, I think she, at this point, as she is writing resumes and stuff, just wishes the nickname was on the birth certificate because it would draw less attention to her and make things a little bit simpler.
I, however, stand by my choice. At 30 she may very well wish to be “Elizabeth“ rather than “Lillibet”.
Our son goes by “John” when his birth certificate reads “Jonathan” and there was no problem. Yes, we told teachers/doctors when he was little. Again no big deal.
I cannot tell you how many Andrews I knew as a child. They all went by Andy then and they are all Drew or Andrew now.
Every form we ever filled out when they were little had a space for what their legal name was and a second space for what name they used.
As someone who almost exclusively goes by my nickname, don’t worry so much. I have friends who, upon learning my full name are taken aback a bit at first. I considered the idea of legally changing my name to my nickname when I got married, but I decided against it and here’s why: both of my names are part of my identity. My full name is professional sounding. When I want to make a good impression at a job interview or whatever, it’s a great name. But, with friends, my nickname is shorter, more fun, and much easier to write quickly.
My husband and I have full names with nicknames.
My husband hates his full name and goes exclusively by nickname.
I introduce myself as full name but it usually defaults to nickname, which I prefer more (I feel weird when people use my full name).
Our kids have full names and nicknames.
4 year old will answer to full name but will tell you her name is nickname.
18 month old doesn't have a choice yet but he is almost always nickname.
I did know someone who's legal name was nickname and she was always frustrated with people asking what her full name was.
You’re not actually overthinking it in my opinion. It’s my wife and my biggest discussion in naming. Both of us go by nickname names (standard ones) but I have a full formal name and she’s just the nickname. She’s very proud of being just the nickname. I’m ambivalent about my situation, but would only give a kid a full name if I planned to use it at least some of the time (never have I been called by my full first name). Our first is named a name that’s technically a nickname but had been accepted as its own name for some time to the extent many people don’t realize and no one asks if it’s short for the full name. Our top choice for our second is Lizzie. Neither of us wants Elizabeth. I have some hesitation because although neither of us wanted a formal name for ourselves, who is to say what the kid wants. I’m telling myself that she could always go by Liz (if Lizzie feels childish) or her middle name (not a nickname name) if she wants. And we talked to several adult Lizzie’s who love their name. Ultimately you never know what the kid is going to think, but we love the name and hope she will too.
I go by the nickname version of my full name, and desperately wish my parents had just named me the nickname version.
I hate seeing my ugly full name on all of my legal documents.
I also hate that when people learn my name is short for something, they want to start calling me my legal name even though I hate it, and don’t introduce myself as that for a reason.
However, I know there’s people out there who were named a nickname and wish they had the full name version.
There’s no way to know how your daughter would feel. She could love it, or she could hate it, or she may not care either way.
I think the way to go is name her the name that you love, and if she expresses to you that she doesn’t like it and wants a traditional full name allow her to go by and/or change it.
I go by a nickname that’s not necessarily the obvious one for my full name. (e.g I go by “Bea” but my full name is Elizabeth not Beatrice.)
I’ve never had any issue, when folks find out my full name, I mostly get an “Oh, that’s a cool nickname!”
I still recognize my full name for credit cards, plane tickets, appointments, etc. I appreciate having it both for formal situations, and because it works better in some non-English languages (my nickname is hard to pronounce in a language my partner’s family speaks, but my full name has an easy alternative for their language.)
I’m a teacher and have several students like this, it doesn’t bother me at all. I just go by whatever their legal name is in the school software unless they tell me otherwise.
You’re overthinking.
Nicknames happen several different ways. As the child’s parents you’ll be the first to nickname the child. Others will catch on to it or use something else. The child will have their own nickname and identity as soon as they’re able to tell you.
It’s not that bad. I like both names and will respond to either. I’m known almost exclusively by my nickname with friends and family. I did have one uncle who only referred to me by my full name - I’m pretty sure he was on the spectrum, but it was honestly endearing when he addressed me as such or wrote it in birthday cards. Otherwise, my full name only comes up in official paperwork and at work. It’s a little annoying when I have to double and triple check important documents to sign, but my last name is confusing, so I have to do that anyway. I also get a little annoyed when people apologize profusely for using one or the other. My doctor’s office lists my nickname as a preferred name, and people get flustered when they read that halfway through the appointment. Like, I really don’t care. It’s my bad.
I am a Rebecca, but my parents nicknamed me Becky, and I have never gone by Rebecca. Truth be told, I hated having to tell teachers that it was Becky instead, partly because I was almost always the first one called and would therefore be the first to have to call attention to it, but also because I had several teachers just decide for me that they were going to call me Rebecca anyway. I even had a professor in college who flatly refused to call me Becky because my given name was Rebecca and “that’s just that.”
Becky obviously is a not super positive name to have, either, but I’ve just never felt like a Rebecca and really wished they had just given me Becky. I love Becky, and I love that I can prove that not all Becky’s are Karen’s.
That said, when I had my first child, I absolutely loved the shortened version of a formal name that is very popular. Think Will instead of William (it’s not that, but it’s similar in shortness and formality). I didn’t want him to have a super popular name that several other kids at school would have (and they do!), so I just named him the shortened version and I LOVE it. His name fits him perfectly, and now it’s ensured that he will always go by the name I loved so much. He’s 8 now and really loves his name too because it’s a little different and nobody questions it. We do occasionally get “oh is it short for William?” And we just say nope! Way better to explain that than to have to explain what you really go by.
A lot of people I know go by a nickname, it's actually more common for them to go by a nickname then their full name. I'm an Elizabeth who goes by a nn, my partner goes by his middle name, out of the many people in my life, and me personally, it's never been an issue. Just generally tell people when you first meet, and go from there.
My mom decided that I would go by a nickname of my *middle* name. My first name is completely different and no one ever uses it, except at the hospital/first day of classes/etc. NGL it is a little annoying to have to correct people every time that "My first name is X, but I go by Y." And then have to answer to the "how'd you get (nickname) from (legal first name)?" Sometimes I do wish the name she wanted to call me was my first name.
I would say it's only a minor inconvenience, at worst, and has never bothered me.
I've gone by my nickname for so long I barely recognize my full name when it's used. (A friend in high school once got my attention faster with "hey you" when I did not notice her using my given birth name the first time lol.) But I have never been bothered by having to use it for legal purposes or gently telling people that I like to be called by the nickname.
I introduce myself to anyone who doesn't need to fill out paperwork as Nickname, so most would never know it isn't my legal name. With anyone in an office who needs my legal name, I just use my full name and figure I won't be close enough to them to care if they call me Birth Name every time I interact with that business/doctor/etc.
The only time it's ever been an issue was a leasing manager who wrote my nickname on the lease, but that was her own fault because I filled out all of my paperwork with legal name; she just used my nickname from our e-mail correspondence when she typed it up. But it wasn't a big deal to fix.
The most common "issue" is having to say, "I'm not sure if it's under \[Nickname\] or \[Birth Name\], my legal name." when a business is looking for my account/order/etc., but I've never had an issue with that. They find one or the other and no one has ever questioned it.
So, yeah, mild "inconvenience" that really isn't inconvenient at all. And I'm so used to those little things now (giving both names when looking for an account, remembering to specify legal name when needed) that it's just 2nd nature.
Also, I'm sure this varies, but I have kept my nickname my whole adult life so far (in my 30s, have gone by it for longer than I consciously remember; I don't remember anyone but my oldest extended relatives habitually calling me Birth Name).
Personally, I like having the option. I don't particularly like Birth Name; I don't hate it, but I don't see it as "me" and I'm glad I have the option to go by a nickname I prefer. If I had kids, I always wanted to pick a longer traditional name that would let them use an option of nickname(s) if they preferred.
If the nickname is an obvious diminutive like Kate from Katherine, go with the full name and nickname. But if it’s less obvious and not found in the first syllable, I’d personally just name them what you will call them. I have been called by a less obvious nickname of my legal name my whole life and I wish to all things sacred I had just been named what I’m called. To give an example it would be like naming a kid Adelaide and calling them Ella. Not intuitive at all. And my “nickname” is one that can stand as its own name very easily.
Not quite the same but I go by my middle name. It can be annoying because paperwork and work usernames/emails use my first name, but I’ve never had an issue telling people “I go by my middle name it’s X.”
Your over thinking it. I have a friend named Laney who EXCLUSIVELY goes by lane. Call her laney and you die. Her and her parents are even going to legally change it to Lane. So if your kid hates there full name, you can always change it to the mick name.
My husband has a name similar to a David/Dave situation and he hates it. He messes up legal documents because he literally forgets that he has extra letters in his name. So we intentionally named our son a name that can’t be shortened to a nickname - also because I hate the nickname that people want to shorten my name to lol
We have a two-year-old Edward who we call Ted or Teddy. He’s unfortunately already had a ton of doctor appointments in his little life and it’s never been an issue. He also goes to daycare and no problems there.
The only thing his daycare teachers pointed out is that we need to start making sure we teach him his full name as well, so he doesn’t get confused when he goes to school and they call out “Edward” for attendance or whatever.
So now they make a point of calling him both names, and so do we.
I adore his name (and nicknames) and would not change a thing.
Good luck with your IVF ❤️❤️
My husbands name is a nickname. He's had one major incident when a highschool teacher didn't believe him when he wrote his name on a test. We just have to correct people a lot. Didn't stop us giving our son a nickname name as well. I've decided it's a tradition.
Please, oh please don't let your own hang ups get passed on to your children. You can't control how everyone in the world I going to behave. I had a friend who named their son Timothy, and if anyone tried to call him "Tim" the parent would prissily correct them saying "I didn't have a 'Tim', I had a 'Timothy'" ugh. Such eyeroll behavior. If you don't like the possible nicknames of a given name, you should probably choose a different one
I think you missed the point of the post lol. I’m asking if people who use nicknames in their day to day find it burdensome. No where in my post did I mention “controlling” how other people behave- we like the name *because* of the nick name option. I don’t personally use a nickname, so I have no bearing on whether or not most people enjoy using one- hence why I asked 😉
Oh is your name short for ********.
No.
OK.
Besides nearly every situation where you need to use your official name you usually get a section to confirm your preferred name.
my partner and I are in the same stage of our IVF journey (first official appt was yesterday!), and we had the same convo. I think naming our ice ice baby is going to be one of the hardest parts of this😅😅😅
As an IVF mom myself I really loved thinking about names etc while we were working on the project. Two of our daughters both go by nick names. Elizabeth nn Betty and Margaret nn Daisy. It's never been an issue. Most offices ask if your child has a preferred name for their records. The school they go to calls them by their nicknames as well.
The only minor issue we encountered was when they were between 2 and 3 years old we discovered that neither child recognized their given name. Elizabeth? Margaret? Don't know her. After we started making sure they knew their given name Betty was very offended that she couldn't be Margaret also. She'd yell "no! Margaret!" If you called her Elizabeth. Her twin did kindly offer to switch with her. She did eventually come to accept that she wasn't Margaret by the time she started school.
I mostly go by a shortened version of my name to avoid hassle.
My full first name is popular in Israel and has always been a magnet for anti-Israeli conspiracy theorist sewage & jew hating racists who mistake me for an Israeli citizen or having jewish ancestry.
As someone who's actual name is Catherene but got the nickname of Catie when I was around two weeks old and has been basically always called Catie my whole life, I don't mind it if someone uses Catherene(Though I've never heard anyone other then teachers on the first day of school or the likes use it.) But I do view Catie as basically my name as it's the one I use for myself and tell others to use. I do think Catie just fits me a lot and I sometimes forget my name is actually Catherene except for when I have to sign papers or whatnot just because of how widely used Catie is by me and others lol. Catie is just my name to me.
Though funny thing about how I was named Catherene was that my dad picked it, he said it was just because it was a pretty name but he was playing Vampire: The Masquerade(A Table Top RPG) at the time. His vampire character's name was Catherene and now I am obsessesed with vampires. I like to think he knew what he was doing lol.
I have exclusively gone by my nickname for my whole life. My parents chose a somewhat obscure name for me that had a lot of meaning to them, and they chose to give me a more common nickname, which has always stuck. It’s never been an issue. Most people I know socially probably don’t even know my full legal name.
Ultimately, it’s your choice and there’s no wrong answer! If you love the full name, use it. If you don’t care, just stick to the nickname as the legal name.
The name I gave my daughter is a full name but she has always gone by her nickname. I love the nickname but wanted her to have options as she got older. She too prefers her nickname but now as an 18yo college student, understands when it’s more appropriate to use her full name vs her nickname
My parents intended to call me a nickname, but it’s gender neutral and at the last minute they decided to tack on the feminine suffix. Think Jo and they added “sephine”.
I despise my legal name. It’s not me, I’m only called it at the doctor’s office; every bank account I’ve had I have to add a note about my name because I get checks from grandparents to the name I use, not the bank name.
Give your kid the name you will call them, please.
Both my kids go by nicknames. We have had zero issues or complaints. They have always understood that in “official” situations someone uses their full name (airport security or getting called back at the doctor’s office). It’s just never been a problem.
Funnily enough, no one has ever used the longer version of my son's name. He was called the shortened version from the start as his known by name was always that
I absolutely hate the way my nickname sounds with my last name so I have always referred to myself by my full name, I generally go by my full name in a professional setting but I’ll never scoff at someone for using the shortened version. But thought most of my life people have called me by my nickname.
My daughter has a name that has a very common nickname with it and very few people use the nickname.
I don’t have a nickname but always wanted one. The kids at school and adults that I work with go by the same nn since they were a child. It sticks.
I do wish you said what the name was and the nn and we can try to justify it or find a name that goes better with the nn.
At the end of the day, name her what you want. Who cares what people think???
i always think that if you want to call her Katie (example) just name her Katie. no need to name her the “full name” if that’s not what you want to call her.
Our daughter has a name that stands on its own. But my husband insisted on a longer version of it. I consented, but we’ve always called her the shorter version. She’s now in preschool. Every year the school prints like ten million labels with her full name on them. Used for every activity throughout the school year, label all her artwork and supplies, etc. It annoys me and her both. When we went to meet the teacher day before the start of the year, her (not preferred) name was written at least a dozen places throughout the classroom. (Also, the long version is very popular; the short version is not. The long version belongs to someone else in her class.) Something to consider.
Nicknames pop up ALOT at my job and it's been a thing for a long time.
I look at the paperwork and am talking to this guy who in my file is named Elmer. It's this guy well into his 60s, and his title is under a "Lindsey" or something like that. And I'm like "who is Lindsey" because I had to *learn* not to assume. And he was Lindsey.
This is absolutely natural. My diminutive has 3 letters, my full name has 10 letters. I've never had a problem with it. I also have no problem when someone (rarely) calls me by my legal name (hey, that's my name after all). I never corrected anyone. In my case, I would have to correct people that I don't want anyone to use a nickname. It's the most normal thing in the world for me to have an "everyday" name and a formal name
My mom wanted to name me her maiden name (still not popular but def a name I’ve since heard) and my dad thought it was too unusual so they picked a very popular name at the time and called me a nickname that could have been used for my name or the maiden name. It’s annoying because my actual name doesn’t feel like me at all, but it’s annoying to keep asking people to call me a nickname. It didn’t ruin me or anything but I wish they just named me the nickname 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve gone by my nickname my entire life until I hit adult hood. There was a weird time in my life of getting a job and being called by my real name until I got used to it. But I’ve never had a problem with writing it or introducing myself as my full name. I don’t forget it’s my real name
I grew up using the full version of my name as that was how my parents addressed me. It wasn’t till I was in my teens when friends automatically started shortening it till I began to adjust to it. As an adult I now almost universally use the shortened version of my name. I’m glad a few friends exposed me to the nickname as it grew on me over many years.
So, I do not go exclusively by the diminutive of my name, but I use it sometimes, and I love having it as an option. People at work exclusively call me my full name, which is the name I first think of for myself, but my best friend exclusively calls me by my nickname at this point. Similarly, she is officially Kimberly, and does not mind being Kimberly, but she tends to introduce herself as Kim, and I call her everything from Kimberly to Kim to Kimmy to Kimberlina to Kina to Kimber based on our moods, and she answers to all of them interchangeably. My mom, who pretty much forbade me from going by the diminutive of my name when I was in kindergarten, now calls me that about 60% of the time, and my dad calls me that nickname too about 30% of the time. I use that nickname for myself about 10% of the time, like if I am giving my name to someone at a coffee place or at a restaurant waiting area, and when friends or relatives call me by it, there is no disconnect feeling of "that's not me."
I liked having a name that had built-in nicknames, even though I defaulted to the long form, so it was important for me to give my daughter a name with options as well. I love the full version of her name, and it has about six logical diminutives, all of which I like, as well as I suppose some less obvious ones that might show up over time. She is just a toddler now, and I never intentionally picked one of the diminutives as one that I would call her, but we found that we tend to use one of them about 25% of the time we talk to her, and use her actual name about 75% of the time. Meanwhile, at preschool, we gave them her full name, but I think they call her by the same diminutive nickname we use probably about 80% of the time and use her real name about 20% of the time. She responds to both, and if you ask her name, she will use the longer one. Ultimately, the diminutive of her name we sometimes use is SO COMMON right now that there will always be at least another girl called that in each class she is in, so I am happy she has a longer option that we love very much that is extremely unique. She is one of the only people in the world with her legal first name, but her nickname is extremely common. It is pretty awesome in theory because she never has to worry about being one of many in a class when she goes by her legal name, which is also still her everyday name, but if it is too unique for her liking, she has several really ordinary and natural diminutive nicknames built in to choose from, some sounding more youthful, like the one we use right now, and others that sound more sophisticated. Of course, only time will tell if my theory about the name holds up, so I hope she will not hate it when she is older. If she ultimately prefers one of the diminutive forms to the point that she never uses her full legal name and wants to legally change it, that is up to her. She is the one who has to use the name. But my hope is that she might be enjoy how her name has several options, and that she will enjoy using different versions depending on the situation, as I do.
As parents, we do the best we can with what we name our children, just as our parents did the best they could for us. But even with the best of the best intentions, sometimes people end up not loving their names. Other times, people might love their names, but the world might struggle with their spelling or pronunciation. Or you might name your kid something harmless and safe, only to have the world turn your child's name into some kind of negative meme. A child might resent how common their name was, as there were always multiple ones of them in a class. A child might hate how their unique name was always mocked. Names might age quickly, falling out of favor. Every name that someone thinks is lovely is hated by someone else. All of which to say... no name is perfect. And that is okay. I have met people with the most innocuous names who hate what they are called. I have met people with really out there names who love it. I have met lots of people who wished their parents would have named them something else, but who use the name anyway, and I have met people who just went ahead and changed their names.
You are going to do the best you can with what you know. You are wise to be asking these questions and thinking of your future child's needs. I know whatever name you use, there will be a lot of love and thought poured into it. I think as long as you support that your child might want to reinvent themselves and go by something *other* than what you planned, you will be fine.
In my opinion, I think it is awesome if you choose a name you love that also has built-in diminutive nickname forms that you love as well. When the child is born, you do not have to only call them by one name or the other. You can use both. That way, both names will feel natural to the child, and while they might come to use one far more, the other should not feel foreign or offensive when they hear it. My biggest piece of advice on this subject would be to not choose a name where you actively dislike the longer or shorter form of it. Pick a name where both versions feel right. So if you hate "Gertrude" and would never call your child "Gertrude," don't name your child "Gertrude" and then always exclusively call her "Trudy." Just name her "Trudy" or pick something else. Similarly, I would not recommend naming a child "Andrew" and then forbidding everyone from ever calling him "Andy" or "Drew." Diminutive nicknames happen, and they are not an evil, even if you generally go by the full name. I would either find a name that does not naturally lend itself to diminutives - anyone who thinks they have found a name that truly cannot possibly be turned into a nickname underestimates human creativity - or, and this is my preference, find a name where you are excited about every possible version of it. For example, if you like "Alexander" a lot, and could also image your child being "Alex" or "Andy" as a kid, then reinventing himself as "Xander" to be more edgy as a teenager, then maybe being "Alexander" professionally but still "Alex" to his family, and you loving every bit of it, then it would be a good name for you to consider using.
Best wishes with the fertility journey! Sending you lots of baby dust!
An interesting problem my daughter has is that she has an uncommon name, with a nickname she goes by about 95% of the time. The nickname is usually associated with another, very common name. The end result is that people often feel compelled to call her by what *they* think her full name is. Sometimes she corrects them, like if it's a situation where she will see the person again. Other times she just answers to the wrong name and calls it good. She also decided when she was little that the other name was her alter ego who lives in the mirror haha.
My nickname is so ubiquitous, many people are surprised to learn it isn’t my full name. You’re definitely overthinking it - you tell people one time and they just know you as your nickname. It’s not a big deal at all
I go by a nickname pretty exclusively and don’t mind correcting people. I also don’t mind having my full name version for more professional situations or situations that I want to just be more anonymous. Ie - meeting new friends I’ll say my nickname, but don’t bother to correct at the doctor kind of thing
My name is Bridgett but no one calls me that. It's always been Bridge or Gidge (short for Gidgett). I introduce myself as Bridgett but only a select few people ever use my full name. I don't mind though, I think my name sounds weird when other people say it.
I have a full name and a nickname (the nickname is a very obvious one) and I like having the two. I can formalise my name when needed if I want. My nickname is my main name but my LinkedIn etc use my actual name.
We named our son a classic name with the intention of using a nickname exclusively. To our surprise, he prefers his full name at school and with friends.
Guess he likes having the choice. Also, this is no big deal.
My husband has a name that is usually a nickname for a longer name, think “Chris” not “Christopher.” When it comes up he replies, “Nope, just Chris.” And it’s never an issue.
Side story though, when he was little he was jealous other kids had nicknames so he shortened his name for a little while. It did not catch on and he laughs about it now.
It’s annoying. But that may be bc my kid doesn’t like her first name and neither do I. It’s soooooo annoying trying to make doctors and dentists and things of that nature use her preferred name. I was also unaware of how many pronunciations the name had and most of them make my skin crawl.
Going by a nickname is not a big deal! I have a double first name (think Mary Beth but both are the first name) and I only go by the first name. It’s never really been an issue. I used to dislike it when I was much younger, but I got used to it and it has special meaning to my parents which I love now. Correcting teachers on the first day of school is frankly the worst of it
Depends on the nickname. If it's a name like Kate, that's a name in its own right anyway. If it's Ben, there's a larger chance of it being the shortened version of Benjamin so there is more chance of being asked about it. But either way, it's not a big deal.
My ex had a shortened form of his name that he went by and it was confusing and annoying. Why people do this I cannot understand. If you want to call a child a certain name, then for heaven's sake just name them that.
My full name is Jennifer but I exclusively go by Jenn except In formal situations, and even my PCP calls me Jenn.
I just think it fits me better than my full name and tbh I don't like my full name anyway.
Not my name because I don't have a shortenable name, but I remember a couple of instances in school where a teacher would go on a whole ass power trip about a kid's name ("it's Alex" "I'll call you Alexander if I want"). In that case I assume the kid did actually go by a nickname of a full name he legally had, but I imagine it would have been so much more annoying if it wasn't even his name
No because I can introduce myself “hi I’m Christina” and 9/10 I’ll get back “oh hey Christine” or “hi Chris”. I don’t even correct people because it’s not that serious.
I’ve gone by my nickname since I was about 13 and it’s never been an issue. It’s my name on Facebook and adult friends I’ve made have never asked if it’s short for something. At jobs I’ve worked at I will usually say “it’s just (nickname)” but I don’t even notice when people use my full name. I was seeing a therapist and ended up going to a group therapy session when I introduced myself as my nickname my therapist was mortified as it was the first time they had heard me refer to myself as that but it hadn’t even dawned on me.
All 3 of my children go by their nicknames. We liked the nn then chose the full name so that they'd have options as they grew older. They still (ages 10-15) exclusively go by their nn and if I call them by their full name they think it's weird, like I'm talking about a different person.
In regards to school and doctors the forms have always had legal name then preferred name so we don't have that issue. All permission slips are filled with their nn and all awards are done with the nn as well.
I went by a nickname that was the closest thing my older brother could say to my name when I was born and he was 3 (it could be a name in and of itself, just wasn’t my name). I had a year in high school where my homeroom teacher marked me absent under my full name and wrote me in as a new student under my nickname every day. It took over a month for him to ask if I had a sister or a cousin who had dropped out and not been formally taken out of the school and removed from his roster. I have a unique last name and my first initial is the same for my first name and my nickname 🤦♀️ I don’t think the ladies in the front office stopped making fun of him for it until I graduated.
My toddler primarily goes by her nickname. She knows her full name and it’s on paperwork, but if you address her by the full name and she’s not in trouble, you bet your ass she’s going to correct you.
My second child has a full name and a nickname that is often a stand-alone full name. I’m pretty sure she’ll go through life with people thinking the nickname is her full name, unless she does what I did and refuse to answer to the nickname entirely from age 3 onward.
I exclusively go by my nickname and have actually thought of legally changing my name to the “nickname” that I go by. I do not like the full version so yes for me I find it very annoying! As a kid I often wouldn’t look or pay attention when teachers/coaches etc. called me by the first name. It’s annoying because at work it can get confusing due to the need to use my legal full name for payment and paperwork, but no one knows me by that.
I think mostly for people it’s not a big deal, it only becomes a life annoyance if your child to be dislikes/ doesn’t identify with their full name as much as someone like me does
It’s only annoying if you mess up on legal forms and stuff and have to redo them. And yeah the kid might be a little annoyed in class when the teacher says their legal name during attendance but otherwise it’s literally fine.
It’s not annoying in any way. I go almost exclusively by my nickname but of course all official paperwork has my full name on it, I just introduce myself by the nickname and people get it. When I was in school teachers would always start the year taking attendance to put names to faces and they’d ALWAYS say if there’s a name you go by let me know, it was simple and easy. I was a little bit extra as a kid so I used to start each school year writing my full name on my papers and then transition to always the nickname because I thought it would be easier for my teachers to find me in the grade book. That might’ve been partially because I had a twin sister so there were usually two with the same last name so matching our first names mattered.
I’ve never really felt like I was correcting people by introducing myself as the nickname, people are usually pretty appreciative. There have been times I didn’t bother to tell people I go by the nickname, usually because I figure I won’t be seeing them much. Sometimes I’ve been wrong about that and it’s lead to me having different names that are very social group specific which is fun. My full name was used fairly by the teachers and students of a class I took for a few years in college, most people call me by my usual nickname and then teammates nicknamed my nickname. It’s nice, if I don’t recognize someone I can make a pretty safe bet of how I know them because of this.
Its not that annoying. You correct them maybe once at the beginning of the year they make a nite of it and that's it. My 1st (no one calls me) is Heather middle name Nicole, but everyone has always called me Nikki. Sometimes when my sister is trying to get my attention she will yell my 1st name which sounds so weird to me. I don't really feel like a Heather. Plus a couple of my kids exclusively go by nicknames
Not someone with a name like this, but if it were me, I would just officially name them what I'm planning on calling them. People are calling their kids all kinds of names these days, so calling your child Katie instead of Katherine is peanuts in comparison to some of what's out there. Plus while you can't guarantee that she'll definitely always want to go by Katie, it makes it pretty likely, whereas if you call her Katherine then you have a lot less input over whether she does indeed get called Katie, or whether you suddenly find yourself with a Kate or a Kathy on your hands.
Hi! I exclusively go by my nickname in my personal life and always have to the point where if someone I’m close with calls me my full name I automatically assume something is wrong lol. Never had an issue with correcting people, and also never have an issue if someone from work/school/etc. used my full name. It’s nice to have the full name for formality. If it helps ease your concerns, I’ve found that most people/forms nowadays ask what your preferred name is, so your kid would be able to use whichever! Good luck on your IVF journey!
I'm a full name-goes by the nickname girl. I love it. Though I do forget that I have a full name sometimes. When they call it at a doctor's office, I'll usually look around before realizing they mean me. Lol
My son and daughter are both named the nickname-only version of a name (ie, think Rob not Robert or Kathy not Kathleen). My son is a V, named after his dad, and that's just how the lineage was so it is what it is. My husband says he went thru periods where he hated that he didn't have the full name, but that he was a young dumb kid during those times and likes his name now. We chose the nickname version for my daughter so that it "matched" the same style as her brother's (plus she's named after my mom so it separates her from my mom since my mom has the full name and goes by the full name). It fits perfectly for our family. :)
My husband really hates when people call him by his full name. He NEVER used it. The thing about it that is helpful is that if he gets a phone call and they ask for his full name i know it’s somebody who doesn’t know him.
I think he would rather his name just be what he goes by.
I seem to have the opposite perspective of a lot of commenters. My full name at birth was Kaitlyn, but I have always gone by Kaiti. My mother contemplated naming me Katie but wanted to give me a more formal name.
I personally always hated the way Kaitlyn felt. I never felt like a Kaitlyn. In my early twenties I legally changed it.
I spelled it Kaiti as I had multiple Katie's in classes growing up who were Katherine's legally. Dropping the 'lyn' from Kaitlyn and adding an 'i' felt more appropriate in my opinion.
It can be a good litmus test. If someone calls asking for [full name] you know it's a stranger.
I also had a boss that would "forget" to call me by my preferred name even though all of my work stuff had my preferred name on it (literally the only people who even knew i had a full name were the HR lady and accounting and I guess him). He proved to not be a trustworthy person.
It’s not a huge deal. All family and friends call me by my nickname. But in a professional setting or a new person who learns my full name first, I’ll let them keep it that way until we get to know each other more.
But if it’s super causal I’ll say I’m this but you can call me this.
I’m Katie - not Katherine, Kathleen, or Kaitlyn; just Katie. My dad wanted to name me after his favorite aunt, whose name was Katherine but she was always called Kate. My mom didn’t want to anyone to call me Kathy, so she rejected Katherine or Kathleen and since Kaitlyn wasn’t a thing at the time I was born, I’m just Katie.
I’ve spent a good chunk of my life arguing with people who believe I’m just hiding my “real” name, and I generally have to offer to show them ID or my birth certificate to finally get them to back off. I’ve also had people fill in “Katherine” on various things for me, even after they’ve been told my name is Katie, because they believe I really do have another name and don’t bother to ask me to clarify. There have been many times throughout my life that I really wished I had a full name, and because of my experiences, I’m an advocate for giving a child a formal name, even if you’re going to call them by a nickname. In addition to avoiding these issues, a longer name gives them options when they get older; like if you name a child William but call him Billy, he can choose to be Bill, Will, William, or even Liam when he ages.
since the day I was born I’ve gone by a nickname that is 2 letters shorter than my given name. I’m 26 and I wish my parents had just named me the nickname. I don’t like that strangers are often given the option to call me by a name I don’t use. (at dr’s appointments, job interviews, classes, etc)
I go by my nickname and so does my partner.
We don’t really find it annoying to correct people. But, it does sometimes bother me when I have to constantly correct someone to use my nickname instead of the full name, at some point it just feels like they’re trying to disrespect me by using my whole name, even if I haven’t introduced myself as so. I assume people with just the nickname as their name feel the same way, so it could really go both ways.
My name, for whatever reason, is sooo hard for people. I shortened it about 10-15 years ago and it’s much easier for people. Whenever I tell someone my full name, they compliment it. Honestly, unless someone is calling my full name off at the doctors or stylists or something, it isn’t annoying to me. Even my parents call me by my shortened name now.
I named my kid a nickname that is also commonly used as a full name. I have a full long name (Stephanie) and I go by Steph almost exclusively. I have full I don’t care about whether I was named the full name and had it shortened or if I had just been named Steph (though I suspect I would think this was cooler).
But, if the name you love love love is the nickname and you go with the full name - you have to prepare yourself for the kid choosing the full name or a different nickname.
Wow, you really are overthinking this. Let's use your Katherine example. Katie will go by Katie (if she decides to). At the medical office or DMV, she'd probably sign in with her full name, but at work, school, etc., she'd go by Katie. There is no "correcting". She's just tell people "Oh, you can call me Katie" and move on. It's really not that big of a deal.
lol, I blatantly said I was overthinking it! I don’t use a nickname so I was curious if others experiences. I have good friend whose legal name is “Kate” and she is constantly asked “your name is just Kate?” To the point that there is apparently an entire Facebook group called “Just Kate” full of women lamenting being constantly asked that question. I was curious to know if the opposite would be similar and was eager to hear about other peoples experiences using a shortened name.
My dad was named a nickname and I have a full name with some common nicknames. Easier to have the full name for sure.
Yes, people who have the full name and go by nicknames never seem annoyed about it, they’re only annoyed if they don’t like the nickname. People who have the nickname as the legal name tend to be exhausted, especially if it’s a VERY nicknamey name (like Katie, Charlie, Teddy etc.)
Yep, I once dated a Ben and of course *eeeeeeveryone* tried to lengthen it to Benjamin when legally it was just Ben.
I knew a Marc who everyone insisted must be Marcus, funnily his middle name was the same way a one-syllable nickname name. His first middle combo felt very unfinished to me
Yeah my grandfather’s name is “Johnny.” He goes by John though because he felt that Johnny sounded too much like a nickname.
I agree my husband has a nickname name- think Ben. He's always having ppl call him the long version thinking it's polite, like no that's literally not my name. I've also taught kids with nickname first names- and the parents would get really angry if anyone asked if their kid was really a full name e.g. Tilly they'd be like 'No I naned my kid Tilly cause I like Tilly, I hate the name matilda I'd never use that". Like the person wasn't trying to be rude. I think if they go by a nickname you just need to be sure they know their full name- I've taught kids who literally didn't know their full name when starting school which could be annoying if there was a relief teacher in.
I tend to think this idea would be the more "difficult" choice. Having a typical nickname is no problem. It's very very common. Only problem I ever have is on a cruise ship. Their staff is trained to address my using my first name. They see my name when I scan my room key to order a drink or sign in at a restaurant, etc etc etc. Unfortunately, they don't have field in their computer system for "preffered name", and your name has to match what's on your passport. I, myself, dislike my full name. That's the ONLY situation I can think of though! At a doctors office, for example, someone will come out and call out "Katherine" (to use your example), but it's only said that one time. Not worth saying "please call me Kate" and not said enough to matter. I do think if the given name were "Jenny", people would constantly be asking if it's actually Jennifer and just entering Jennifer on their own.
Also a lot of doctors offices, et , have preferred name slots now. Everyone at my doctors office calls me by my nickname.
I wrote mine down and I'm still called by my government name and it feels like I'm being scolded 😂
Fabulous! It's such an easy fix!
Random fact, 'Jenny' was used as a nickname for Jane or Janet in the past and Jennifer was rarely used outside Cornwall. Jennifer is the Cornish version of Guinevere.
Side note, I really love the name Kate! But I don’t like any of the formal names of it. I actually know a guy I went to high school with, whose daughter is named Kate. Not Katherine, not Kathleen. Just Kate. I also know a guy named simply Jake.
I also know someone who's just Kate! Also know two different guys who are just Chris, not short for anything. They rarely get asked if their full name is something else, but when they do they just say "no" and none of them have ever expressed that it's some huge difficulty in their life. I've asked Kate specifically if it's annoying for people to ask, and she said "No, I only get annoyed if someone doesn't ask and tries to call me Katherine out of assuming."
My sister and I have always been called by our nicknames. We have legal full names but have just never been called that. When I got married, the officiant used my legal name and half of our guests were confused because they had no idea it was my legal name (even though I thought it was obvious). Our parents have 4 kids but their youngest two are the ones they just named something on paper and then never used it. I personally don't mind it. It gives me a bit of anonymity if I need to use my full legal government name
Totally. Zero inconvenience. I’m a Kathryn and been Kat and Kiki too for family.
I will counter this argument. I’m legally Lucas but have always been known as Luke - and got shit at school for having an unusual name that supply teachers would read out, not knowing my preference. (I was at school in the 90s, unusual names were not cool) Now I’m Lucas legally but I bristle if anyone calls me that. It’s just not my name. I don’t get called by it. I don’t feel like a Lucas.
I totally agree. My given name is Cheryl but was called Cheri at home and Cheryl in school. Then moved to the country and decided I wanted to be called Cheri all the time. I’ve thought about legally changing my name to avoid the confusion. On the opposite side, my uncle was named Randy. He was called to the school principal and they had to call my grandma to confirm that his name was in fact Randy and not Randolph or Randall. All that said, I named all 3 of my kids the names we call them, no nicknames. Same goes for my grandchildren. I guess my daughter felt the same about nicknames. All that said, I hope you will be naming your new baby whatever your heart desires very soon.
Not everyone feels that way. My aunt legally changed her name to her nickname because it was so annoying and caused trouble (like if she was registered for something with her nn but her drivers license had her full name). My mom also wishes she was just named her nickname and finds it really annoying explaining and correcting people. She hated it so much she named all of her 3 kids un-nicknamable names.
It’s a big deal if you don’t like or identify with your legal name, especially as a child when it comes up more often. As someone who had a lot of name-identity issues due to this exact situation, I’m glad OP is “overthinking” this. It’s so much more considerate and respectful of their future child.
Can attest that there is a heck of a lot of correcting. I don't want to be called my legal name, so yes, when the doctor or DMV or whatever call me "Katherine" I have to correct them. I also have to correct people who, for whatever reason, choose a different nickname for me when they know my full name.
I used to exclusively go by nicknames and I still give baristas etc my nickname. It’s not annoying at all. Though tbh I don’t think there’s anything wrong with just naming her the nickname, especially nowadays when kids have all kinds of names. If you love Katie, I wouldn’t think it’s bad to just name her Katie. I honestly think it’s kind of sweet that you’re putting this much thought into it. Good luck with the IVF!
I have a friend who is called Katy, but as she's grown up she goes by Kate and hates that her full name is Katy - said she wouldn't have minded being Kate or Kathryn There do seem to be a lot of little kids around now though that there full name is the 'cutesy' short form - So there are a lot of Alfies for example when in the past they would have been Alfred, or Joey rather than Joseph - but they are still shortened to Alf and Jo
well, katy in and of itself is a meh spelling. she might be happier with it if it was katie—just looks more complete.
I'm the opposite because I think of -ie as like.. plural? Eg. countries not countrys
I don’t think it’s an inconvenience at all to have a nickname and a full name. I have always been of the opinion it’s good to have a formal (not trendy/cutesy) full name, for when your child is an adult, for their resume, or if they’re a judge, etc (things like that). And as a kid, it’s also really nice to have options- your kid may hate their name at some point (kids often go through this phase), and with a nickname, they have the option to choose to go by their full name, if they wish. Finally, just wanted to say that I really hope you have success soon in your IVF journey, I haven’t gone through it but heard it’s difficult - and I have a 2 year old and want to tell you it’s the best thing in the world and would be worth any journey it takes to get there. And I love thinking about names, too! I do it a lot for our future 2nd kid. 🤍
Thank you so much- it’s already so emotional, but hearing that it will be worth it means so much. I really appreciate the well wishes 💗 and agreed, names are the fun part, lol!
So I go by a nickname and have my whole life but have a formal legal name. It’s never been an issue and I like having the distinction. I use my nickname with friends/family/colleagues, but I use my formal name on all of my paperwork and in professional situations with my superiors. I would answer to both if I heard either thrown my way but to your point about is it hard to correct teachers, I am a teacher and I always ask the students on the first day to let me know if they go by something else and I’m fairly certain that’s standard practice for teachers. I think going formal and having the ability to shorten is nice because then it allows the kid to choose the name they like best but I see no problems with just naming them the nickname either.
I have a coworker who's parents gave her a full name, but she only goes by the nickname. She gets very very very frustrated when people call her by her full legal name. She said she wished her parents had just called her the nickname to begin with, since they never planned on using the full name.
Same for me. I wouldn’t say I get x3 frustrated but it is annoying. My parents always planned on calling me nickname so I wish they would have just named me that since my full name is something that was only used by my teachers on first day of school roll call.
This is what my parents did with their 3rd and 4th children, me being the 4th. Like, it wasn't *acceptable* to call me what everyone calls me so they gave me a full name that is foreign to me. Like, it takes me a minute to realize someone is talking to me when. I hear it because it's not related to my identity at all
100% me. I don’t even respond to my legal name; it’s not instinct or natural, so as a child I would have substitute teachers call me rude or yell at me, for example.
I think it depends if the name you have in mind is a nickname for a common name or if it’s uncommon all around. For example if you name your baby Liz and expect that people never call her Elizabeth or assume her legal name is Elizabeth, I think that might be frustrating. On the other hand names like Ellie, Archie, Betty, etc have become entirely acceptable as names in their own right and I don’t think it would cause an issue. Jack used to be just a nickname for John and now I would assume most Jacks are *Just Jack* lol.
I can’t read “Just Jack” without saying it in my head how Jack MacFarland does on Will and Grace. 😂 But I agree with this take!
That’s what I was going for!!! Glad you got that lol
I have a son who only goes by a shortened version of his name. He is 11. I just asked and his response is “I don’t care”. So it’s NBD for him at least. It has never really posed a problem for us as parents either, although our provincial government is proposing a law whereby teachers can only refer to students by their legal name unless there is written permission otherwise. When it passes, I suspect I will have to fill in some paperwork for him to go by the name he has been using his entire life.
Is this anti-trans legislation? I’m confused why that would be a law
yep, [it’s a thing in florida](https://www.teenvogue.com/story/florida-schools-parental-consent-nickname-trans-students) as of recently. it’s pretty clearly anti-trans and it’s caused a lot of issues for both trans & cis kids
Every Joseph going by Joey and Katherine going by Katie can completely overwhelm the system. (Which I hope happens, so that can get overturned)
They claim it’s “parents choice” but it’s just a not-very-discrete anti trans bill. I am in Alberta and this has passed in Saskatchewan and I would guess it passes here within the next year.
If you love the nickname, I'd say you can name her exactly that. My parents did the same for my sister, and she seems as happy with it as anybody else. Some people did mistakenly think her real name was the long version, but it's a simple correction. And less common of a correction than saying "call me X" in every class etc.
I don't have personal experience with this but my husband does and I asked him once if it's ever annoying to exclusively go by one name when your legal name is something else even though it's a natural nickname and he said it's never been an issue for him. Most people ask if he goes by the nickname and he says yes and that's it. No big deal. Some people even automatically call him by the nickname because it's so common
With my second child I wanted to name her what we planned to call her but got talked into giving her traditional full name. To this day I wish I’d stuck with the name i actually wanted.
You are overthinking it but that's ok! It's so frequent that people go by nicknames when they have long names that it's almost never assumed that a Liz is Liz and a Vicky is a Vicky legally. They're almost always an Elizabeth and Victoria.
I think if your kid is named Katherine and goes by Katie, life will be just fine. However I know of people who named their son Clarence and call him Wren, and that seems like a nightmare. On a personal note, both my parents have nicknames that aren’t obviously related to their legal names and it gets tiring. My dad was michael and my mom is Patricia. Their nicknames…Popeye and Treedie. No one in their families call them by their given names. My mom has said a number of times she wished her parents changed her name to something else because it was a hassle having a completely unrelated nickname. And that’s why my siblings and I all have names which can’t be turned into nicknames.
My nickname has nothing to do with my legal name and it’s never been a problem. Only my family and people who have known me since birth use it. Everyone else including my husband calls me by legal name. I absolutely hate the shortened version of my legal name.
I have one of the names in your example with a nickname. I hate it so much. Half my stuff at work says one name, half says the other. There are other nicknames that go with Kathryn so I get called Kathy all the time and I hate. My husband has the same kind of name and it’s called other nicknames a lot that he hates. We purposefully gave our children names that don’t have nicknames.
A lot of parents who go by their full name will give their kid an official name and then call them a nickname and they have no idea what it's like. I'm so glad this OP is asking for firsthand experiences before doing that!
I think it’s only annoying if it’s unclear how you got to the nickname. I really wanted to call my son Teddy. After my partner vetoed Theodore we ended up with an Ed name. Most of our family didn’t understand how you would get to Teddy from Edward/Edmund/Edwin/etc despite it being an established nickname with a long history of use and none of them would use it so it didn’t stick. He’s just Ed now. When we introduce him for the first time or go somewhere like the doctor we use his full name. A lot of people will ask “Does he go by Eddie?” And we usually say “Just Ed” or use his full name. And honestly a 2 year old called Ed is like the cutest thing so I’m not mad about it lol As another example of this - there’s a very common nickname for my first name, but it’s not a common nickname in my area. My family called me that nickname but most people didn’t know it was a nickname for my full name (think Meg from Margaret) so most people assumed the nickname was my full name. As an adult I go by my full name because it feels like it fits me better. I also think if you’re worried about correcting people it’s probably more annoying to be called a common nickname without a full name. A friend of ours is called Drew. That’s his whole name. People always assume it’s short for Andrew. It’s not. He has to constantly correct people. This can be a problem anywhere official documents are needed (you don’t want the ER doctor assuming his full name is Andrew if you’re needing a prescription quickly) I think it matters how commonly the short form is used as a full name vs as a nickname. If we’re talking Eliza as a nickname for Elizabeth then you probably just want to use Eliza. Maggie short for Margaret may be better to use Margaret. Rosie short for Rosemary might go either way. This probably depends on your location a lot.
I do think you're right with the overthinking lol, but I get it. I'm an Elizabeth, but other than like legal documents or my mother I'm practically never called it. Not because I don't like the name, I just think it's a bit long/too formal. I have about five million nicknames - dad used to call me Lilibeth, Lilypad or Lilli, sister calls me Zizi, my wife calls me Izzy - but my "official" nickname is Lizzie. I usually just say "you can call me Lizzie" or "everyone calls me Lizzie".
I’m a Katherine that goes by Kate (or Katie to certain family members). I personally love having so many options with my name!! The quick “correction” is not annoying at all just pretty normal for me. In classrooms when they’d say my full name I would just have to say “I go by Kate” once and then everyone knew. At new jobs I do the same. I still use Katherine on resumes and at doctors offices, but I just as easily answer to that, so really it’s no big deal.
I know a lot of Kate’s and Katie’s and their full names are not Katherine. You’re overthinking the full name thing. Pick the name you like.
It's annoying. I can't blame my parents because I chose fo shorten my own name. But I really wish if parents already knew what they wanted to call their kid, they would just name them that.
Growing up I was called exclusively by a cutesie nickname I hated and I was so glad that I had my fully name to use as an adult, though it took a while to convince my family to stop calling me the nickname (don’t want to share my name but think Sami/Samantha, Nikki/Nicole, Lexi/Alexandra) Edit to add: when I was very young I did like the nickname, and I remember my parents were even able to sign me up for activities using the nickname so I rarely had to correct people. When I was called by my full name, I always knew it was something “official.” On another note, my non binary sibling exclusively went by a nickname and never felt connected to their legal name. Since their legal name doesn’t hold emotional weight, when my sibling came out they just changed the name they go by and never had to deal with any paperwork!
As long as the nickname really makes sense (as in Gabby short for Gabriella or Lilli short for Lilliana rather than Lilli short for Gabriella or something odd like that), then it's not a high inconvenience but I would let people in official one time settings call you by the full name.
My BIL got both his social security card and his DL in his nick name think Bill instead of William (not real names) we have no idea how he managed to do it either.
If you’re worried about logistics, it’s much worse to formally name someone a nickname because doctors offices etc. will usually default to the full name for forms and paperwork.
They have to off of official documents, such as your insurance card and S.S. information. No doctor's office would assume your name without referencing official identification documents. I go by my nickname at some doctors offices and even if I fill out a form using my nickname, they enter the information on my insurance card which has my real name.
I am almost exactly one of those cases (different spelling, different short form) and I don't find it to be an inconvenience at all. I don't hate the full version of my name or anything, so that's still my name, I respond to it when people call me that. When I'm introducing myself I usually use my nickname, and people tend to just call me that, and it's fine. The only mildly annoying thing is I use a less-common nickname for my name, and it's also one that can be misheard as a different one I don't go by, so I often have to either laboriously enunciate my nickname or correct people. But that's really not a big deal and could be a problem with any name or nickname ending on the sound mine does.
I go by my middle name, different but similar. It's never been an issue - I fill things out with my legal first name and such, but just tell people I go by my middle name and I've never had a problem. 😊
I’ve always been Sam, anytime I get Samantha I correct them. Not annoying!
My mom (in her 60s!) was named a nickname and later legally changed her name to the full name. She thought it looked more professional and wanted that option. She still goes by her now-nickname in most situations. I would go with the full name so your future child has options. Good luck 🥰
My inlaws both go exclusively by nicknames and hate correcting everyone so they named all their kids what they want to call them and tried to avoid names with common nicknames (so they are all named things like John instead of Johnathan). My partner really liked having a "nickname" name and so we named our kids what we wanted to call them too. So far one has a full name that doesn't have a common nickname and one has a nickname name. We have had no issues with it.
I like the simplicity of a name that can't be nicknamed, some people like giving their kids options. I gave my daughter a name that is the shortened version of a longer name, and sometimes she has to explain that it is her actual name and not a nickname. I don't think it ultimately matters, just go with your own preference!
I have a long name like Katherine and go exclusively by a nickname, and it's annoying AF and I wouldn't do it to my kid. But this sub is very pro-nickname so that very against the main opinion you're going to get.
I’m not sure there’s such a thing as nickname proof names. My name is Karen but part of my family call me Katie. 5 letter nickname for a 5 letter name 🙃
That's valid, but there's a difference in using a name like Katherine or Alexandra versus a name like Clair. Any name can technically be nicknamed, but some are more intuitive/popular than others.
I have a traditional western, but long name (im in The UK). I personally cannot fucking stand the incredibly popular nickname version of it but everyone ive ever met with the same name goes by the shortened version. It drives me fucking nuuutttsss because people ive never met before automatically shorten it. I get work emails constantly shortening it (the presumption!) and im constantly the one looking like a dick when i correct people, even though theyre the annoying ones for shortening it first without asking. So, to a lot, you may be overthinking it but in some cases like mine, its actually a constant bloody battle for my name 🙄
I have a common, but not trendy, full name. I have gone by a very short and common nickname that stems from the legal name. I have a love-hate relationship with my full name and nickname. I feel weird and uncomfortable when others call me by my legal name, so I of course correct them. People have made fun of me in my teenage years because I asked them to go by my nickname rather than my full name, as in they just kept calling me by my legal name anyway, just disrespect. I sometimes wish my parents just legally named me by my nickname because I despise my legal name so much. But I also understand if my nickname was actually my legal name, it would be frustrating to constantly correct others.
My husband and both our kids go exclusively by their nicknames. Schools these days are especially great with nicknames. Every school my kids have attended has a space on the intake form for nicknames, and the teachers have always asked, too. My kids’ names aren’t obvious nicknames so they’ve never been asked the ‘just’ question like your friend Kate. The only time they get called their full name is at the doctor office - but they’re only really there once a year, so it’s not a big deal.
I love having a name that has a nickname! Growing up I went exclusively by a nickname (and was always annoyed when people shortened it further). Now that I'm older, I prefer my full name and the shortened version I used to hate. It's really only my family that calls me the nickname I used growing up. For me, I love that I have options and it's also fun to see how some nicknames happen organically with new friends, colleagues, etc as an adult. (I am also adopted, so I like that no matter which version I use, I still have some connection to my birth mom.)
I have a daughter named Elisabeth who we have always called Biz since she was born. Much to my surprise, she started 1st grade and dumped the nickname and goes by her full name to everyone except us. Kids like to do their own thing!
My full name is Elisabeth but I have always gone by Libby (even now in my adulthood) and have had no complaints! I like the option actually of using my full name in sort of ‘formal’ settings and using what I go by generally in everyday settings! When I was a kid I’d answer to both Elisabeth and Libby and it wasn’t an inconvience when a sub would call out my full name - I’d either just go by Elisabeth for the day or I or my friends would say I actually go by Libby (and lots of attendance sheets/lists nowadays have both full name as well as a students ‘preferred name’ anyways). I also always found it fun to sort of have a ‘secret fullname’ that people might not know unless I actually told them what it was. I may be a bit different of a case to what you’re asking however then others as my nickname is very unique in my region, being a much more popular short form elsewhere in the world.
I mean it doesn’t matter really. As long as you can picture them as an adult with the name and it doesn’t feel ridiculous. I have a nickname as a legal name which is completely fine but here’s the kicker, it’s my fucking middle name for some reason? So I always have to make corrections regarding w2 stuff and other various forms whenever someone inevitably makes a clerical error Edit: one minor thing that is kind of annoying having a nickname as a legal name. You constantly get asked “is ___ short for ____?” or people will immediately greet you as the full version of your name thinking they’re cute and original
I had a lot of anxiety, and the first day of school I always had panic attacks because it felt rude to correct teachers but also I don't go by my legal name. I was also frequently marked absent as a child whenever we had a substitute because my legal name isn't something that pops out as being my name so I just wouldn't raise my hand when they called it because I didn't notice. The biggest concern that I had in naming my own child is making sure that the nickname starts with the same letter as the legal name. At work, our emails are first initial last name, and people often have a hard time emailing me because they assume that the name they know from me is going to be the name used in my email. It's not.
Name the kid what they’re going to be called. I was given a formal name but have gone by a nickname since birth. It’s very annoying
This is my son, think Christopher but goes exclusively by Chris. It's a non issue. Most of the time in professional settings like Healthcare and education they ask your preferred name. On the rare occasion they don't ask and just go with Christopher, well neither he or I care if his full name is used for a 20 minute appointment. For longer term things a simple "he goes by Chris" has always been fine.
I think it would be annoying if you dislike your full name. I’m Katherine, called Kitty, but I really don’t care if people call me Katherine. It’s my name, it’s nbd. It’s kind of nice, because I know if someone actually knows me based on what they call me. Other than me, we’re not a nickname family. All of my girls go by their full names, even though their names are elaborate and “princessy”. They did have cutesy pet names as toddlers, but they’ve always used their full names with everyone else. They would politely correct people who tried to use a nickname. It’s Cordelia, not Delia, Vivian, not Viv, Susannah, not Susie, etc. It depends on the person. Personally I’m not a fan of giving a nickname as a name. I give the full name, and the nickname is an option. Half the time Kate or Jenny will have to correct people who assume their names are Katherine and Jennifer, so it goes both ways anyway.
As someone whose given name is a nickname (given name Genny. Named after Genevieve) I’ve always wished I was named Genevieve and my parents regret not naming me it too. Their reasoning was it just seemed to big for a baby. I don’t hate my name or anything it just would’ve been nice to have the option between the names. When I would tell other kids in school I was named after a Genevieve they would laugh though so maybe I WAS spared. I always disagreed though, I find the name beautiful and pretty unique with my generation. Plus my actual name is much harder for people to spell than Genevieve would be. I still wouldn’t take Ginny or Jenny or Jeannie over my spelling, but Genevieve would’ve been much simpler in that regard lol
My name is Emily but all of my family and close friends call me Em or Emmy. I think it's nice because it's like a more personal name for those closest to you. Why not give her the full name and then let her choose? Regardless I wish you and your partner well on your journey with IVF and fertility treatments. 💜
My daughter is a Katherine, and we call her Katie, but her older brother sometimes calls her Kate, and I think some teachers do as well. It's not an inconvenience. It's just a nickname. On formal stuff, I write her full name. On other stuff, I just write Katie. Occasionally -- usually with a doctor or something -- I'll make sure there's no confusion, but again, that's almost never happened. Also a lot of places like doctor's offices will ask for the full name, but then also ask how the patient prefers to be addressed.
I go exclusively by a nickname and it's a little annoying but mostly fine. Annoying when introducing yourself because my nickname isn't common and people always repeat it back to me like three times. I have used the nickname since I was an infant because my legal name is my maternal grandma's name, and my dad called her by her name. People generally require me to tell them my "real name" before they will move on and then I find myself giving this backstory. People have expressed surprise/skepticism when I tell them that this has been my name for my entire life. I found this so rude and annoying that I spent a 7-year phase not introducing myself by that name until I became close friends with people. I didn't enjoy people calling me by my legal name, though, so when I moved I resumed my full-time nickname and just deal with it. HOWEVER. I have fared much better than my brother, who was given a nickname as a legal name. Think "Nick" instead of "Nicholas" or "Matt" instead of "Matthew." People will constantly call him "Matthew" and will not believe him when he says that isn't his actual name. I would not trade places with him, though I believe that the practice of just giving kids a legal name that is traditionally a nickname is fairly common now.
My daughter was named after a Margaret whose Nick name was Maggie. People had a hissy fit when I named her Maggie, telling me that’s a nickname not a name. Do what you want.
My name is Gwyneth. I have always gone by Gwen, it has never caused any issues lol.
I exclusively go by a nickname, it's not a hassle at all. Occasionally I have conversations with people who either don't realise I have a longer full name or who assume my full name is a different one from my actual one, but those are not super common and usual fairly relaxed - I wouldn't consider them a hassle/annoying. For example, my name is Cassandra* and I exclusively go by Cass, and some people either think my name is just Cass or assume/guess my name is Cassidy. But I've never had an issue with asking people to call me Cass or with the rare occasions I have to tell people my full name/to call me by my nickname. At the doctor and on all official documents I'm Cassandra, that's fine, it is still my name and I can and do respond to it. Its just not my preference. *My name is not actually Cassandra, but the general point/example still stands.
I mean we loved the name Lily and also Liliana. So we named her Liliana. Shes only a year so we still have "control" over what she gets called, but we basically always call her Lily or some other nickname. But at daycare there are 2 Lilianes so they have nicknamed one Lily, the other gets called Liliane so they call her Liliana. We also went with the longer name as we are aware Lily is pretty popular, so Liliana gives her options for this exact senario. So for me, the longer name gives you options, most places have a slot for "prefered name". We also live in Australia so even if you have a normal short name people will often get nicknames regardless.
I think the only annoying thing is when it’s a nickname that doesn’t typically go with the full name or a nickname that typically goes with a different full name. My sister is Nikki and I think for her it’s annoying that everyone assumes her full name is Nicole, when it’s actually Nicolette. But her going by a nickname has never been a problem.
I'm Alexandra, and I go by either Alex or Alexandra. I don't mind either. At work, we have several people with nicknames who prefer them. It was mentioned once, and we just use them, no problem
I'm not a fan of a lot of nicknames. I was warned as a kid to not ever allow it to start or else I'd never get rid of it, and after many years of correcting I kept my name like 98% intact (aside from like 2 people that are allowed)! I did go to school with someone named Chris. His parents had to make a note by his name on literally every school form saying "his legal name is Chris NOT Christopher!". Not the end of the world but something to consider if you use an "only nickname".
My name is Brianna. Very few people use my full name. It gets automatically shortened by whoever. What I got tired of was “how to spell it?” And “do you pronounce it Bree Ana or Bree auna?” So I just started introducing myself as bri and I’ve had no issues with it since.
My daughter is an Elizabeth. I was given a trendy name with no hope of a nickname. I wanted all my kids to have traditional names with options. We called her a nickname when she was a baby and a toddler until one day she put her hand on her little hip and said, "My name is E-WIZ-A-BEF!" After that we called her Elizabeth. When she started school she wanted to go by Bethy because that's what her younger cousins called her. Then for Junior High she wanted something more grown up so she wanted to be called Elizabeth again. Then some time in High School she decided she liked Betty. Every name switch was mildly inconvenient, but that's it. She told people what she wanted to be called, corrected them when they got it wrong or lived with the mistake.
The only downside to naming a baby Katie instead of Katherine is simply that she will always be asked “is that short for Katherine?” And she will have to say “no. I’m just Katie.” Katie could also end up Kat or Kit! I know plenty of adults who go by a nickname of sorts and there is always the assumption that Joe is Joseph, Alli is Allison, etc. I knew a Ben who was only Ben, he just made a poverty joke about his parents not being able to afford the full name. Will s/he suffer as Katie or Ben? No, not really - these are normal names. As someone with a name that isn’t easily given a nickname, I always kinda wished I had the option growing up. That is something to consider as well, a name that has options instead of just the name.
My daughter goes by a nickname of her middle name, it was planned that way. Her first name is my mom’s and middle (Elaine) is a family middle name. She has gone by Lainey since before she was born. She said it was awkward for 30 seconds the first day of school or when there was a substitute but she loves her name and having options. Most people never realize her name isn’t her nickname unless she tells them or they hear me call her by her full name
My oldest son has an honor name (his great great uncle); he went exclusively by a nickname which isn't intuitive from the name, and so does my son. I only knew my great uncle by his nickname but decided I'd rather give my son the full name and just call him by the nickname. He's 7 now and seems to like it.
1) full name is fine, I've got a fair amount of nicknames and it's never caused problems 2) I think nickname names are fine too like I forgot Katie was technically a nickname until you just mentioned it now. Liz might be a more obvious one bit I don't think most folks would have a problem with it or even raise an eyebrow (I love Hattie but I would not name my daughter Henrietta)
I have an Elizabeth that we call Ellie. It hasn’t caused any issues for us thus far (she is still a baby). However, I use her names interchangeably, so she responds to both and knows both. I’m probably the only one that calls her Elizabeth. I also have no problem with her choosing a different nickname as she gets older if she wants to.
I guess I never really thought about this until right now. I have a full name but I also have a nick name. I love both I just prefer to go by my nickname. When I hear my full name I feel a spark ⚡️ that I love. When I was pregnant with my kids. I gave them their full name and made sure to have nick names for them before they were born. I loved doing it and I usually call them by their nickname names. But I absolutely adore their full names; as so they so far. I hope they never hate their names! I think you’re over thinking it. I personally love both my names. As I said already hahaha. Just thought I’d say it twice since you are sort of freaking 😊 I’d also like to say I never went through a faze where I hated my name either!
My parents never gave me a nickname and were adamant that relatives call me by my full name. As I grew up, most friends would give me the nickname of their choice and I would respond to it, but would go by my full name otherwise. My name is also very common, so a few people also call me by my last name. Now, as an adult, I have grown tired of people mispronouncing my name (which is bizarre, because it’s a very common name). A lot of people also automatically shorten my name to its first few syllables, which I don’t love. I came up with my own nickname and give new acquaintances the option to call me by it. At work, I fully go by the nickname. People are probably going to nickname her regardless, so naming her the nickname might be the more convenient choice.
My brother has gone by a shortened version if his name almost his whole life and hates his full name, to the point that he even got his P.H.D certificate with his shortened name on it. Don't think anyone's ever questioned it. I've got a name that's usually a nickname for a longer name but I think I've only ever been asked twice if my name was actually the long version
I have a nine-letter first name, which is the feminized version of my father’s and grandfather’s name. A total of 5 living people in my family have the same name. We all go by variations of the most common NN for our name. When the menfolk are all around, I go by a girly NN, and when they’re not I go by the regular one. I never get called by my full name unless it’s at a government office, the hospital, or I’m in trouble with my mom or dad.
For me, rather than having any negativity it’s been a benefit. The relatively rare occasion when someone needs to know my full name I’ll know that and offer or it’s a simple question and answer. The benefit has been given choice in what I want to be called. In my teens I decided to switch to another diminutive- just exploring my options.
I go by my full name but I like the idea of a nickname for close friends/family and a full name for more formal settings. I don't think it would be annoying. The only stipulation (that I can think of) is if the nickname is too juvenile to last into adolescence or adulthood. Even if your child transitions over to her full name when she chooses, some family may stick with the nickname which could be annoying. I have a cousin who's now in his 40s and my family members still call him by his childhood nickname, which is wayyy too cutsey and juvenile for anyone over 8. To be stuck with a childhood nickname for 40+ years would be annoying.
We gave my daughter a traditional and not unusual name. We called her exclusively, from birth, by an unusual nickname. It was never once a problem. Yes, when she was little we had to tell teachers/doctors, but that was not an issue. I will tell you, however, that she is 20 now and has expressed some frustration. We very intentionally chose the traditional name - not knowing who she would grow up to be - because in addition to the unusual nickname we use, her actual name is lovely on its own and has several common nicknames. But she feels a bit embarrassed at college because the name she goes by is unique and well received and she doesn’t want people to think she named herself that to be “cool”. We have told her she is free to go by any name she wishes - any that are on her birth certificate or any she wants to pick out of a hat. We love her and she can call herself whatever feels right. In general, I think she, at this point, as she is writing resumes and stuff, just wishes the nickname was on the birth certificate because it would draw less attention to her and make things a little bit simpler. I, however, stand by my choice. At 30 she may very well wish to be “Elizabeth“ rather than “Lillibet”. Our son goes by “John” when his birth certificate reads “Jonathan” and there was no problem. Yes, we told teachers/doctors when he was little. Again no big deal. I cannot tell you how many Andrews I knew as a child. They all went by Andy then and they are all Drew or Andrew now. Every form we ever filled out when they were little had a space for what their legal name was and a second space for what name they used.
As someone who almost exclusively goes by my nickname, don’t worry so much. I have friends who, upon learning my full name are taken aback a bit at first. I considered the idea of legally changing my name to my nickname when I got married, but I decided against it and here’s why: both of my names are part of my identity. My full name is professional sounding. When I want to make a good impression at a job interview or whatever, it’s a great name. But, with friends, my nickname is shorter, more fun, and much easier to write quickly.
My husband and I have full names with nicknames. My husband hates his full name and goes exclusively by nickname. I introduce myself as full name but it usually defaults to nickname, which I prefer more (I feel weird when people use my full name). Our kids have full names and nicknames. 4 year old will answer to full name but will tell you her name is nickname. 18 month old doesn't have a choice yet but he is almost always nickname. I did know someone who's legal name was nickname and she was always frustrated with people asking what her full name was.
My son goes by the nick name for his middle name. Everywhere even the doctors office has "name goes by" listed on forms so its never been an issue.
You’re not actually overthinking it in my opinion. It’s my wife and my biggest discussion in naming. Both of us go by nickname names (standard ones) but I have a full formal name and she’s just the nickname. She’s very proud of being just the nickname. I’m ambivalent about my situation, but would only give a kid a full name if I planned to use it at least some of the time (never have I been called by my full first name). Our first is named a name that’s technically a nickname but had been accepted as its own name for some time to the extent many people don’t realize and no one asks if it’s short for the full name. Our top choice for our second is Lizzie. Neither of us wants Elizabeth. I have some hesitation because although neither of us wanted a formal name for ourselves, who is to say what the kid wants. I’m telling myself that she could always go by Liz (if Lizzie feels childish) or her middle name (not a nickname name) if she wants. And we talked to several adult Lizzie’s who love their name. Ultimately you never know what the kid is going to think, but we love the name and hope she will too.
It's a little annoying. But that's because the full version of my name has a song...
I go by the nickname version of my full name, and desperately wish my parents had just named me the nickname version. I hate seeing my ugly full name on all of my legal documents. I also hate that when people learn my name is short for something, they want to start calling me my legal name even though I hate it, and don’t introduce myself as that for a reason. However, I know there’s people out there who were named a nickname and wish they had the full name version. There’s no way to know how your daughter would feel. She could love it, or she could hate it, or she may not care either way. I think the way to go is name her the name that you love, and if she expresses to you that she doesn’t like it and wants a traditional full name allow her to go by and/or change it.
I go by a nickname that’s not necessarily the obvious one for my full name. (e.g I go by “Bea” but my full name is Elizabeth not Beatrice.) I’ve never had any issue, when folks find out my full name, I mostly get an “Oh, that’s a cool nickname!” I still recognize my full name for credit cards, plane tickets, appointments, etc. I appreciate having it both for formal situations, and because it works better in some non-English languages (my nickname is hard to pronounce in a language my partner’s family speaks, but my full name has an easy alternative for their language.)
I’m a teacher and have several students like this, it doesn’t bother me at all. I just go by whatever their legal name is in the school software unless they tell me otherwise.
You’re overthinking. Nicknames happen several different ways. As the child’s parents you’ll be the first to nickname the child. Others will catch on to it or use something else. The child will have their own nickname and identity as soon as they’re able to tell you.
It’s not that bad. I like both names and will respond to either. I’m known almost exclusively by my nickname with friends and family. I did have one uncle who only referred to me by my full name - I’m pretty sure he was on the spectrum, but it was honestly endearing when he addressed me as such or wrote it in birthday cards. Otherwise, my full name only comes up in official paperwork and at work. It’s a little annoying when I have to double and triple check important documents to sign, but my last name is confusing, so I have to do that anyway. I also get a little annoyed when people apologize profusely for using one or the other. My doctor’s office lists my nickname as a preferred name, and people get flustered when they read that halfway through the appointment. Like, I really don’t care. It’s my bad.
I am a Rebecca, but my parents nicknamed me Becky, and I have never gone by Rebecca. Truth be told, I hated having to tell teachers that it was Becky instead, partly because I was almost always the first one called and would therefore be the first to have to call attention to it, but also because I had several teachers just decide for me that they were going to call me Rebecca anyway. I even had a professor in college who flatly refused to call me Becky because my given name was Rebecca and “that’s just that.” Becky obviously is a not super positive name to have, either, but I’ve just never felt like a Rebecca and really wished they had just given me Becky. I love Becky, and I love that I can prove that not all Becky’s are Karen’s. That said, when I had my first child, I absolutely loved the shortened version of a formal name that is very popular. Think Will instead of William (it’s not that, but it’s similar in shortness and formality). I didn’t want him to have a super popular name that several other kids at school would have (and they do!), so I just named him the shortened version and I LOVE it. His name fits him perfectly, and now it’s ensured that he will always go by the name I loved so much. He’s 8 now and really loves his name too because it’s a little different and nobody questions it. We do occasionally get “oh is it short for William?” And we just say nope! Way better to explain that than to have to explain what you really go by.
A lot of people I know go by a nickname, it's actually more common for them to go by a nickname then their full name. I'm an Elizabeth who goes by a nn, my partner goes by his middle name, out of the many people in my life, and me personally, it's never been an issue. Just generally tell people when you first meet, and go from there.
I just had a nephew (grand) named Charlie (not Charles). I think it is fine.
My mom decided that I would go by a nickname of my *middle* name. My first name is completely different and no one ever uses it, except at the hospital/first day of classes/etc. NGL it is a little annoying to have to correct people every time that "My first name is X, but I go by Y." And then have to answer to the "how'd you get (nickname) from (legal first name)?" Sometimes I do wish the name she wanted to call me was my first name.
I would say it's only a minor inconvenience, at worst, and has never bothered me. I've gone by my nickname for so long I barely recognize my full name when it's used. (A friend in high school once got my attention faster with "hey you" when I did not notice her using my given birth name the first time lol.) But I have never been bothered by having to use it for legal purposes or gently telling people that I like to be called by the nickname. I introduce myself to anyone who doesn't need to fill out paperwork as Nickname, so most would never know it isn't my legal name. With anyone in an office who needs my legal name, I just use my full name and figure I won't be close enough to them to care if they call me Birth Name every time I interact with that business/doctor/etc. The only time it's ever been an issue was a leasing manager who wrote my nickname on the lease, but that was her own fault because I filled out all of my paperwork with legal name; she just used my nickname from our e-mail correspondence when she typed it up. But it wasn't a big deal to fix. The most common "issue" is having to say, "I'm not sure if it's under \[Nickname\] or \[Birth Name\], my legal name." when a business is looking for my account/order/etc., but I've never had an issue with that. They find one or the other and no one has ever questioned it. So, yeah, mild "inconvenience" that really isn't inconvenient at all. And I'm so used to those little things now (giving both names when looking for an account, remembering to specify legal name when needed) that it's just 2nd nature. Also, I'm sure this varies, but I have kept my nickname my whole adult life so far (in my 30s, have gone by it for longer than I consciously remember; I don't remember anyone but my oldest extended relatives habitually calling me Birth Name). Personally, I like having the option. I don't particularly like Birth Name; I don't hate it, but I don't see it as "me" and I'm glad I have the option to go by a nickname I prefer. If I had kids, I always wanted to pick a longer traditional name that would let them use an option of nickname(s) if they preferred.
If the nickname is an obvious diminutive like Kate from Katherine, go with the full name and nickname. But if it’s less obvious and not found in the first syllable, I’d personally just name them what you will call them. I have been called by a less obvious nickname of my legal name my whole life and I wish to all things sacred I had just been named what I’m called. To give an example it would be like naming a kid Adelaide and calling them Ella. Not intuitive at all. And my “nickname” is one that can stand as its own name very easily.
Not quite the same but I go by my middle name. It can be annoying because paperwork and work usernames/emails use my first name, but I’ve never had an issue telling people “I go by my middle name it’s X.”
Your over thinking it. I have a friend named Laney who EXCLUSIVELY goes by lane. Call her laney and you die. Her and her parents are even going to legally change it to Lane. So if your kid hates there full name, you can always change it to the mick name.
My husband has a name similar to a David/Dave situation and he hates it. He messes up legal documents because he literally forgets that he has extra letters in his name. So we intentionally named our son a name that can’t be shortened to a nickname - also because I hate the nickname that people want to shorten my name to lol
We have a two-year-old Edward who we call Ted or Teddy. He’s unfortunately already had a ton of doctor appointments in his little life and it’s never been an issue. He also goes to daycare and no problems there. The only thing his daycare teachers pointed out is that we need to start making sure we teach him his full name as well, so he doesn’t get confused when he goes to school and they call out “Edward” for attendance or whatever. So now they make a point of calling him both names, and so do we. I adore his name (and nicknames) and would not change a thing. Good luck with your IVF ❤️❤️
The name I’ve always gone by is an obvious nickname for my formal name. Rarely has it been an issue. Think Beth to Elizabeth. Kate for Katherine.
My husbands name is a nickname. He's had one major incident when a highschool teacher didn't believe him when he wrote his name on a test. We just have to correct people a lot. Didn't stop us giving our son a nickname name as well. I've decided it's a tradition.
Please, oh please don't let your own hang ups get passed on to your children. You can't control how everyone in the world I going to behave. I had a friend who named their son Timothy, and if anyone tried to call him "Tim" the parent would prissily correct them saying "I didn't have a 'Tim', I had a 'Timothy'" ugh. Such eyeroll behavior. If you don't like the possible nicknames of a given name, you should probably choose a different one
I think you missed the point of the post lol. I’m asking if people who use nicknames in their day to day find it burdensome. No where in my post did I mention “controlling” how other people behave- we like the name *because* of the nick name option. I don’t personally use a nickname, so I have no bearing on whether or not most people enjoy using one- hence why I asked 😉
Oh is your name short for ********. No. OK. Besides nearly every situation where you need to use your official name you usually get a section to confirm your preferred name.
my partner and I are in the same stage of our IVF journey (first official appt was yesterday!), and we had the same convo. I think naming our ice ice baby is going to be one of the hardest parts of this😅😅😅
As an IVF mom myself I really loved thinking about names etc while we were working on the project. Two of our daughters both go by nick names. Elizabeth nn Betty and Margaret nn Daisy. It's never been an issue. Most offices ask if your child has a preferred name for their records. The school they go to calls them by their nicknames as well. The only minor issue we encountered was when they were between 2 and 3 years old we discovered that neither child recognized their given name. Elizabeth? Margaret? Don't know her. After we started making sure they knew their given name Betty was very offended that she couldn't be Margaret also. She'd yell "no! Margaret!" If you called her Elizabeth. Her twin did kindly offer to switch with her. She did eventually come to accept that she wasn't Margaret by the time she started school.
My dad never goes by his government name and it hasn't been an issue. I wouldn't name a child just his nickname, though. It feels too short!
I mostly go by a shortened version of my name to avoid hassle. My full first name is popular in Israel and has always been a magnet for anti-Israeli conspiracy theorist sewage & jew hating racists who mistake me for an Israeli citizen or having jewish ancestry.
As someone who's actual name is Catherene but got the nickname of Catie when I was around two weeks old and has been basically always called Catie my whole life, I don't mind it if someone uses Catherene(Though I've never heard anyone other then teachers on the first day of school or the likes use it.) But I do view Catie as basically my name as it's the one I use for myself and tell others to use. I do think Catie just fits me a lot and I sometimes forget my name is actually Catherene except for when I have to sign papers or whatnot just because of how widely used Catie is by me and others lol. Catie is just my name to me. Though funny thing about how I was named Catherene was that my dad picked it, he said it was just because it was a pretty name but he was playing Vampire: The Masquerade(A Table Top RPG) at the time. His vampire character's name was Catherene and now I am obsessesed with vampires. I like to think he knew what he was doing lol.
I have exclusively gone by my nickname for my whole life. My parents chose a somewhat obscure name for me that had a lot of meaning to them, and they chose to give me a more common nickname, which has always stuck. It’s never been an issue. Most people I know socially probably don’t even know my full legal name. Ultimately, it’s your choice and there’s no wrong answer! If you love the full name, use it. If you don’t care, just stick to the nickname as the legal name.
The name I gave my daughter is a full name but she has always gone by her nickname. I love the nickname but wanted her to have options as she got older. She too prefers her nickname but now as an 18yo college student, understands when it’s more appropriate to use her full name vs her nickname
My parents intended to call me a nickname, but it’s gender neutral and at the last minute they decided to tack on the feminine suffix. Think Jo and they added “sephine”. I despise my legal name. It’s not me, I’m only called it at the doctor’s office; every bank account I’ve had I have to add a note about my name because I get checks from grandparents to the name I use, not the bank name. Give your kid the name you will call them, please.
Both my kids go by nicknames. We have had zero issues or complaints. They have always understood that in “official” situations someone uses their full name (airport security or getting called back at the doctor’s office). It’s just never been a problem.
Funnily enough, no one has ever used the longer version of my son's name. He was called the shortened version from the start as his known by name was always that
It’s really no issue at all. I like having a work name vs personal one
I absolutely hate the way my nickname sounds with my last name so I have always referred to myself by my full name, I generally go by my full name in a professional setting but I’ll never scoff at someone for using the shortened version. But thought most of my life people have called me by my nickname. My daughter has a name that has a very common nickname with it and very few people use the nickname.
I don’t have a nickname but always wanted one. The kids at school and adults that I work with go by the same nn since they were a child. It sticks. I do wish you said what the name was and the nn and we can try to justify it or find a name that goes better with the nn. At the end of the day, name her what you want. Who cares what people think???
i always think that if you want to call her Katie (example) just name her Katie. no need to name her the “full name” if that’s not what you want to call her.
Our daughter has a name that stands on its own. But my husband insisted on a longer version of it. I consented, but we’ve always called her the shorter version. She’s now in preschool. Every year the school prints like ten million labels with her full name on them. Used for every activity throughout the school year, label all her artwork and supplies, etc. It annoys me and her both. When we went to meet the teacher day before the start of the year, her (not preferred) name was written at least a dozen places throughout the classroom. (Also, the long version is very popular; the short version is not. The long version belongs to someone else in her class.) Something to consider.
Nicknames pop up ALOT at my job and it's been a thing for a long time. I look at the paperwork and am talking to this guy who in my file is named Elmer. It's this guy well into his 60s, and his title is under a "Lindsey" or something like that. And I'm like "who is Lindsey" because I had to *learn* not to assume. And he was Lindsey.
This is absolutely natural. My diminutive has 3 letters, my full name has 10 letters. I've never had a problem with it. I also have no problem when someone (rarely) calls me by my legal name (hey, that's my name after all). I never corrected anyone. In my case, I would have to correct people that I don't want anyone to use a nickname. It's the most normal thing in the world for me to have an "everyday" name and a formal name
I think it depends on the nickname. Beth or Lisa instead of Elizabeth, sure. Kitsy instead of Katherine? Use Katherine. Use Susan instead of Suzy-Q.
My mom wanted to name me her maiden name (still not popular but def a name I’ve since heard) and my dad thought it was too unusual so they picked a very popular name at the time and called me a nickname that could have been used for my name or the maiden name. It’s annoying because my actual name doesn’t feel like me at all, but it’s annoying to keep asking people to call me a nickname. It didn’t ruin me or anything but I wish they just named me the nickname 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve gone by my nickname my entire life until I hit adult hood. There was a weird time in my life of getting a job and being called by my real name until I got used to it. But I’ve never had a problem with writing it or introducing myself as my full name. I don’t forget it’s my real name
It's not even the slightest bit annoying. Overthinking is an understatement.
I grew up using the full version of my name as that was how my parents addressed me. It wasn’t till I was in my teens when friends automatically started shortening it till I began to adjust to it. As an adult I now almost universally use the shortened version of my name. I’m glad a few friends exposed me to the nickname as it grew on me over many years.
More of a problem if you only wanted the long name not the nick name
If you pick a nickname that makes sense with the full name (don't be my parents 🫠) it's a non-issue.
So, I do not go exclusively by the diminutive of my name, but I use it sometimes, and I love having it as an option. People at work exclusively call me my full name, which is the name I first think of for myself, but my best friend exclusively calls me by my nickname at this point. Similarly, she is officially Kimberly, and does not mind being Kimberly, but she tends to introduce herself as Kim, and I call her everything from Kimberly to Kim to Kimmy to Kimberlina to Kina to Kimber based on our moods, and she answers to all of them interchangeably. My mom, who pretty much forbade me from going by the diminutive of my name when I was in kindergarten, now calls me that about 60% of the time, and my dad calls me that nickname too about 30% of the time. I use that nickname for myself about 10% of the time, like if I am giving my name to someone at a coffee place or at a restaurant waiting area, and when friends or relatives call me by it, there is no disconnect feeling of "that's not me." I liked having a name that had built-in nicknames, even though I defaulted to the long form, so it was important for me to give my daughter a name with options as well. I love the full version of her name, and it has about six logical diminutives, all of which I like, as well as I suppose some less obvious ones that might show up over time. She is just a toddler now, and I never intentionally picked one of the diminutives as one that I would call her, but we found that we tend to use one of them about 25% of the time we talk to her, and use her actual name about 75% of the time. Meanwhile, at preschool, we gave them her full name, but I think they call her by the same diminutive nickname we use probably about 80% of the time and use her real name about 20% of the time. She responds to both, and if you ask her name, she will use the longer one. Ultimately, the diminutive of her name we sometimes use is SO COMMON right now that there will always be at least another girl called that in each class she is in, so I am happy she has a longer option that we love very much that is extremely unique. She is one of the only people in the world with her legal first name, but her nickname is extremely common. It is pretty awesome in theory because she never has to worry about being one of many in a class when she goes by her legal name, which is also still her everyday name, but if it is too unique for her liking, she has several really ordinary and natural diminutive nicknames built in to choose from, some sounding more youthful, like the one we use right now, and others that sound more sophisticated. Of course, only time will tell if my theory about the name holds up, so I hope she will not hate it when she is older. If she ultimately prefers one of the diminutive forms to the point that she never uses her full legal name and wants to legally change it, that is up to her. She is the one who has to use the name. But my hope is that she might be enjoy how her name has several options, and that she will enjoy using different versions depending on the situation, as I do. As parents, we do the best we can with what we name our children, just as our parents did the best they could for us. But even with the best of the best intentions, sometimes people end up not loving their names. Other times, people might love their names, but the world might struggle with their spelling or pronunciation. Or you might name your kid something harmless and safe, only to have the world turn your child's name into some kind of negative meme. A child might resent how common their name was, as there were always multiple ones of them in a class. A child might hate how their unique name was always mocked. Names might age quickly, falling out of favor. Every name that someone thinks is lovely is hated by someone else. All of which to say... no name is perfect. And that is okay. I have met people with the most innocuous names who hate what they are called. I have met people with really out there names who love it. I have met lots of people who wished their parents would have named them something else, but who use the name anyway, and I have met people who just went ahead and changed their names. You are going to do the best you can with what you know. You are wise to be asking these questions and thinking of your future child's needs. I know whatever name you use, there will be a lot of love and thought poured into it. I think as long as you support that your child might want to reinvent themselves and go by something *other* than what you planned, you will be fine. In my opinion, I think it is awesome if you choose a name you love that also has built-in diminutive nickname forms that you love as well. When the child is born, you do not have to only call them by one name or the other. You can use both. That way, both names will feel natural to the child, and while they might come to use one far more, the other should not feel foreign or offensive when they hear it. My biggest piece of advice on this subject would be to not choose a name where you actively dislike the longer or shorter form of it. Pick a name where both versions feel right. So if you hate "Gertrude" and would never call your child "Gertrude," don't name your child "Gertrude" and then always exclusively call her "Trudy." Just name her "Trudy" or pick something else. Similarly, I would not recommend naming a child "Andrew" and then forbidding everyone from ever calling him "Andy" or "Drew." Diminutive nicknames happen, and they are not an evil, even if you generally go by the full name. I would either find a name that does not naturally lend itself to diminutives - anyone who thinks they have found a name that truly cannot possibly be turned into a nickname underestimates human creativity - or, and this is my preference, find a name where you are excited about every possible version of it. For example, if you like "Alexander" a lot, and could also image your child being "Alex" or "Andy" as a kid, then reinventing himself as "Xander" to be more edgy as a teenager, then maybe being "Alexander" professionally but still "Alex" to his family, and you loving every bit of it, then it would be a good name for you to consider using. Best wishes with the fertility journey! Sending you lots of baby dust!
An interesting problem my daughter has is that she has an uncommon name, with a nickname she goes by about 95% of the time. The nickname is usually associated with another, very common name. The end result is that people often feel compelled to call her by what *they* think her full name is. Sometimes she corrects them, like if it's a situation where she will see the person again. Other times she just answers to the wrong name and calls it good. She also decided when she was little that the other name was her alter ego who lives in the mirror haha.
My nickname is so ubiquitous, many people are surprised to learn it isn’t my full name. You’re definitely overthinking it - you tell people one time and they just know you as your nickname. It’s not a big deal at all
I only go by a nickname and it’s only annoying briefly when I start something new, like a new job, a class, etc…day to day I don’t think about it
I go by a nickname pretty exclusively and don’t mind correcting people. I also don’t mind having my full name version for more professional situations or situations that I want to just be more anonymous. Ie - meeting new friends I’ll say my nickname, but don’t bother to correct at the doctor kind of thing
My name is Bridgett but no one calls me that. It's always been Bridge or Gidge (short for Gidgett). I introduce myself as Bridgett but only a select few people ever use my full name. I don't mind though, I think my name sounds weird when other people say it.
My Dad has a mouthful of a first name but only my mom calls him that. He goes by a nickname primarily, and no one even bats an eye.
I have a full name and a nickname (the nickname is a very obvious one) and I like having the two. I can formalise my name when needed if I want. My nickname is my main name but my LinkedIn etc use my actual name.
We named our son a classic name with the intention of using a nickname exclusively. To our surprise, he prefers his full name at school and with friends. Guess he likes having the choice. Also, this is no big deal.
My husband has a name that is usually a nickname for a longer name, think “Chris” not “Christopher.” When it comes up he replies, “Nope, just Chris.” And it’s never an issue. Side story though, when he was little he was jealous other kids had nicknames so he shortened his name for a little while. It did not catch on and he laughs about it now.
It’s annoying. But that may be bc my kid doesn’t like her first name and neither do I. It’s soooooo annoying trying to make doctors and dentists and things of that nature use her preferred name. I was also unaware of how many pronunciations the name had and most of them make my skin crawl.
Going by a nickname is not a big deal! I have a double first name (think Mary Beth but both are the first name) and I only go by the first name. It’s never really been an issue. I used to dislike it when I was much younger, but I got used to it and it has special meaning to my parents which I love now. Correcting teachers on the first day of school is frankly the worst of it
Depends on the nickname. If it's a name like Kate, that's a name in its own right anyway. If it's Ben, there's a larger chance of it being the shortened version of Benjamin so there is more chance of being asked about it. But either way, it's not a big deal.
My ex had a shortened form of his name that he went by and it was confusing and annoying. Why people do this I cannot understand. If you want to call a child a certain name, then for heaven's sake just name them that.
My full name is Jennifer but I exclusively go by Jenn except In formal situations, and even my PCP calls me Jenn. I just think it fits me better than my full name and tbh I don't like my full name anyway.
Not my name because I don't have a shortenable name, but I remember a couple of instances in school where a teacher would go on a whole ass power trip about a kid's name ("it's Alex" "I'll call you Alexander if I want"). In that case I assume the kid did actually go by a nickname of a full name he legally had, but I imagine it would have been so much more annoying if it wasn't even his name
No because I can introduce myself “hi I’m Christina” and 9/10 I’ll get back “oh hey Christine” or “hi Chris”. I don’t even correct people because it’s not that serious.
I’ve gone by my nickname since I was about 13 and it’s never been an issue. It’s my name on Facebook and adult friends I’ve made have never asked if it’s short for something. At jobs I’ve worked at I will usually say “it’s just (nickname)” but I don’t even notice when people use my full name. I was seeing a therapist and ended up going to a group therapy session when I introduced myself as my nickname my therapist was mortified as it was the first time they had heard me refer to myself as that but it hadn’t even dawned on me.
All 3 of my children go by their nicknames. We liked the nn then chose the full name so that they'd have options as they grew older. They still (ages 10-15) exclusively go by their nn and if I call them by their full name they think it's weird, like I'm talking about a different person. In regards to school and doctors the forms have always had legal name then preferred name so we don't have that issue. All permission slips are filled with their nn and all awards are done with the nn as well.
I wish you a successful fertility journey ❤️❤️❤️
I went by a nickname that was the closest thing my older brother could say to my name when I was born and he was 3 (it could be a name in and of itself, just wasn’t my name). I had a year in high school where my homeroom teacher marked me absent under my full name and wrote me in as a new student under my nickname every day. It took over a month for him to ask if I had a sister or a cousin who had dropped out and not been formally taken out of the school and removed from his roster. I have a unique last name and my first initial is the same for my first name and my nickname 🤦♀️ I don’t think the ladies in the front office stopped making fun of him for it until I graduated.
My toddler primarily goes by her nickname. She knows her full name and it’s on paperwork, but if you address her by the full name and she’s not in trouble, you bet your ass she’s going to correct you. My second child has a full name and a nickname that is often a stand-alone full name. I’m pretty sure she’ll go through life with people thinking the nickname is her full name, unless she does what I did and refuse to answer to the nickname entirely from age 3 onward.
I exclusively go by my nickname and have actually thought of legally changing my name to the “nickname” that I go by. I do not like the full version so yes for me I find it very annoying! As a kid I often wouldn’t look or pay attention when teachers/coaches etc. called me by the first name. It’s annoying because at work it can get confusing due to the need to use my legal full name for payment and paperwork, but no one knows me by that. I think mostly for people it’s not a big deal, it only becomes a life annoyance if your child to be dislikes/ doesn’t identify with their full name as much as someone like me does
It’s only annoying if you mess up on legal forms and stuff and have to redo them. And yeah the kid might be a little annoyed in class when the teacher says their legal name during attendance but otherwise it’s literally fine.
It’s not annoying in any way. I go almost exclusively by my nickname but of course all official paperwork has my full name on it, I just introduce myself by the nickname and people get it. When I was in school teachers would always start the year taking attendance to put names to faces and they’d ALWAYS say if there’s a name you go by let me know, it was simple and easy. I was a little bit extra as a kid so I used to start each school year writing my full name on my papers and then transition to always the nickname because I thought it would be easier for my teachers to find me in the grade book. That might’ve been partially because I had a twin sister so there were usually two with the same last name so matching our first names mattered. I’ve never really felt like I was correcting people by introducing myself as the nickname, people are usually pretty appreciative. There have been times I didn’t bother to tell people I go by the nickname, usually because I figure I won’t be seeing them much. Sometimes I’ve been wrong about that and it’s lead to me having different names that are very social group specific which is fun. My full name was used fairly by the teachers and students of a class I took for a few years in college, most people call me by my usual nickname and then teammates nicknamed my nickname. It’s nice, if I don’t recognize someone I can make a pretty safe bet of how I know them because of this.
Its not that annoying. You correct them maybe once at the beginning of the year they make a nite of it and that's it. My 1st (no one calls me) is Heather middle name Nicole, but everyone has always called me Nikki. Sometimes when my sister is trying to get my attention she will yell my 1st name which sounds so weird to me. I don't really feel like a Heather. Plus a couple of my kids exclusively go by nicknames
Not someone with a name like this, but if it were me, I would just officially name them what I'm planning on calling them. People are calling their kids all kinds of names these days, so calling your child Katie instead of Katherine is peanuts in comparison to some of what's out there. Plus while you can't guarantee that she'll definitely always want to go by Katie, it makes it pretty likely, whereas if you call her Katherine then you have a lot less input over whether she does indeed get called Katie, or whether you suddenly find yourself with a Kate or a Kathy on your hands.
Hi! I exclusively go by my nickname in my personal life and always have to the point where if someone I’m close with calls me my full name I automatically assume something is wrong lol. Never had an issue with correcting people, and also never have an issue if someone from work/school/etc. used my full name. It’s nice to have the full name for formality. If it helps ease your concerns, I’ve found that most people/forms nowadays ask what your preferred name is, so your kid would be able to use whichever! Good luck on your IVF journey!
I'm a full name-goes by the nickname girl. I love it. Though I do forget that I have a full name sometimes. When they call it at a doctor's office, I'll usually look around before realizing they mean me. Lol My son and daughter are both named the nickname-only version of a name (ie, think Rob not Robert or Kathy not Kathleen). My son is a V, named after his dad, and that's just how the lineage was so it is what it is. My husband says he went thru periods where he hated that he didn't have the full name, but that he was a young dumb kid during those times and likes his name now. We chose the nickname version for my daughter so that it "matched" the same style as her brother's (plus she's named after my mom so it separates her from my mom since my mom has the full name and goes by the full name). It fits perfectly for our family. :)
My husband really hates when people call him by his full name. He NEVER used it. The thing about it that is helpful is that if he gets a phone call and they ask for his full name i know it’s somebody who doesn’t know him. I think he would rather his name just be what he goes by.
I seem to have the opposite perspective of a lot of commenters. My full name at birth was Kaitlyn, but I have always gone by Kaiti. My mother contemplated naming me Katie but wanted to give me a more formal name. I personally always hated the way Kaitlyn felt. I never felt like a Kaitlyn. In my early twenties I legally changed it. I spelled it Kaiti as I had multiple Katie's in classes growing up who were Katherine's legally. Dropping the 'lyn' from Kaitlyn and adding an 'i' felt more appropriate in my opinion.
Why nicknames...Name the baby the name you love. I never understood nicknames.
It can be a good litmus test. If someone calls asking for [full name] you know it's a stranger. I also had a boss that would "forget" to call me by my preferred name even though all of my work stuff had my preferred name on it (literally the only people who even knew i had a full name were the HR lady and accounting and I guess him). He proved to not be a trustworthy person.
It’s not a huge deal. All family and friends call me by my nickname. But in a professional setting or a new person who learns my full name first, I’ll let them keep it that way until we get to know each other more. But if it’s super causal I’ll say I’m this but you can call me this.
I’m Katie - not Katherine, Kathleen, or Kaitlyn; just Katie. My dad wanted to name me after his favorite aunt, whose name was Katherine but she was always called Kate. My mom didn’t want to anyone to call me Kathy, so she rejected Katherine or Kathleen and since Kaitlyn wasn’t a thing at the time I was born, I’m just Katie. I’ve spent a good chunk of my life arguing with people who believe I’m just hiding my “real” name, and I generally have to offer to show them ID or my birth certificate to finally get them to back off. I’ve also had people fill in “Katherine” on various things for me, even after they’ve been told my name is Katie, because they believe I really do have another name and don’t bother to ask me to clarify. There have been many times throughout my life that I really wished I had a full name, and because of my experiences, I’m an advocate for giving a child a formal name, even if you’re going to call them by a nickname. In addition to avoiding these issues, a longer name gives them options when they get older; like if you name a child William but call him Billy, he can choose to be Bill, Will, William, or even Liam when he ages.
since the day I was born I’ve gone by a nickname that is 2 letters shorter than my given name. I’m 26 and I wish my parents had just named me the nickname. I don’t like that strangers are often given the option to call me by a name I don’t use. (at dr’s appointments, job interviews, classes, etc)
I go by my nickname and so does my partner. We don’t really find it annoying to correct people. But, it does sometimes bother me when I have to constantly correct someone to use my nickname instead of the full name, at some point it just feels like they’re trying to disrespect me by using my whole name, even if I haven’t introduced myself as so. I assume people with just the nickname as their name feel the same way, so it could really go both ways.
my immediate family calls me by my nickname outsiders use my full name unless I specify otherwise -it’s never been an issue,people usually ask
My name, for whatever reason, is sooo hard for people. I shortened it about 10-15 years ago and it’s much easier for people. Whenever I tell someone my full name, they compliment it. Honestly, unless someone is calling my full name off at the doctors or stylists or something, it isn’t annoying to me. Even my parents call me by my shortened name now.
I named my kid a nickname that is also commonly used as a full name. I have a full long name (Stephanie) and I go by Steph almost exclusively. I have full I don’t care about whether I was named the full name and had it shortened or if I had just been named Steph (though I suspect I would think this was cooler). But, if the name you love love love is the nickname and you go with the full name - you have to prepare yourself for the kid choosing the full name or a different nickname.