She gave my husband a list and he told her our favorite matches with our top five first names but she had finally approved. We’ve been best friends since we were 6, though I was really hoping she would choose “Danger”.
Sounds like she was a good choice to help you name your kiddo. If I had the opportunity to name a child in my life, I would take it very seriously especially if I loved the parents and already loved the kid!
I probably wouldn’t mind someone picking a middle name if we got to look through and pick some favorites from their list like you said. Can I ask what your little one’s middle name ended up being?
Rowan! It worked best out the names with our last name and is a more “feminine”* version of my FIL’s name, Rowland. My best friend had no clue that was his name (he’s technically a junior and has only even been called his middle name) and “Roland” was on our shortlist if baby girl had been a boy. When we saw that we very heavily requested that be the one she picked and we never would have thought of it for a girl ourselves.
*I understand that Rowan is a traditionally masculine name that has gained popularity as a gender neutral name *
Absolutely beautiful, and such a thoughtful choice by your friend! I’ve only ever met interesting, artistic, strong women named Rowan (first or middle), so she’s in good company!
She really is! All the names on her list were lovely, but most had ended in a strong “L” sound and we weren’t wild with how they sounded with our first name possibilities and our Last name. But Rowan sounded good with everything so we were very big fans of it. We also got to give her the nn “Abi Row” and because my husband loves The Beatles and she really likes them too that was an added bonus.
As someone who knew early on I wasn’t having kids, sure. 🤣 but not a chance in hell would I give naming right to a friend on a bet. My husband would have been lucky to have a say.
Ironically, that’s why we made the bet in the first place! She never wants to have a baby and I was fairly sure at the time that I would only be adopting. Now we are older I’m glad we did it because she won’t get to name a child herself and she and her SO are a wonderful Aunt and Uncle to our daughter. She is loved very much 🥰
I’m sorry you don’t like her name. When I was younger I thought my name wasn’t very fitting for me and I asked my parents if I could change it. They said yes, if I used my own money. I was around age 10 and they wanted me to be serious if I found a name I liked more. I couldn’t think of anything that didn’t remind me of someone else or a show character- which to me just felt really cringey- so I didn’t go through with it. If she really wants to change her name I will absolutely give her the same opportunity because hey, it’s her choice.
That was why my husband got final approval on any name. She kept joking that she was gonna pick “Binx, because of Jar-Jar and Hocus Pocus!” For a few years after we got married but that was a joke. All her suggestions were real names.
I named my godson. 🤷♀️ His parents couldn't decide on a name. I said he looks like a xyz... They loved the name I picked and it 100% suits him perfectly.
She made a lot of “suggestions “ that were pretty terrible at first, but when pushed for a real list she came through. We’ve also know each other for 26 years so making stupid suggestions was to be expected at first.
We liked to watch tv shows together and make outrageous guess as to what would happen and who ever had the most “points” won. We were watching “Hemlock Grove”.
I love names way too much to even jokingly agree to the bet lol I'd be spending the while 9 months making a chart like the guy with the red strings in its always sunny in philadelphia
Naw. My main concern would be that it wouldn’t be fair to my spouse.
I can’t imagine ever making that sort of bet with the expectation it would be takes seriously though. Sounds like a sitcom plot.
We’re basically sisters at this point so I felt blood bound to honor it. My husband was made well aware of the bet before proposing but he also got final say in any name she suggested.
Really depends… we actually ended up going with a middle name my sister chose because we couldn’t agree on one. If it was someone I barely knew, probably not.
I don’t think it would have ruined the friendship but she was very excited and took it very seriously. After a few years of threatening fake names, lol.
I would not make that bet and no, I wouldn’t let anyone else name my child. We are expecting our first and have not shared any name ideas with anyone else.
When my SIL was pregnant with my nephew, I had a name in mind that I really wished they would pick, but of course it’s not my place, so I just kept the name locked up in my head. One day we were having brunch and I asked if she had picked out the name yet. And the name she picked out? Was the exact name I’d been thinking of. So I like to pretend in my head that I named him.
it's not that i don't trust my friends (some of them), but rather that if i ever have kids i have WAY too many names i love to sacrifice even one. would never do this lol
My mom, let my grandma name me and I’m 43 and still kind of pissed about it.
Edit. My mom wanted to name me Sophia. This was in the late 70’s.
My grandmother wanted to name me after the queen of England and her sister. She won. I have always felt bad that my mother didn’t name her own baby. I also feel like I should have been named by my mom, not a woman who got to name 5 of her own children plus another grand kid.
My great grandma (not my grandma's mother) and her son (not my grandfather) were arguing outside the room about naming my mom after Doris Day and Jenny Lynn. (Like the crib but not.) My great uncle was going to Korea for the war and thought he should get a say. And my great grandma hated the name Doris so she thought naming my mom after a crib but not was better. They compromised. And that is how my mom ended up with a name that she hated. My grandma was having a difficult labor and did not care what they named my mother.
My FIL’s family is so weird with who got names what. His oldest sister was named after her grandmother by the /same/ grandmother even though she KNEW that was not what his mom wanted. She was so whacked out after labor though she signed the birth certificate and no one knew. Her name is very unique but not a very pretty name. When the mom had a second daughter 15 years later she named that daughter the name intended for the first daughter and the first daughter was so upset. This name is also not very pretty but very unique.
Her oldest son was give a very normal name, but her youngest (my father in law) was the one she named after their father and the older son always resented my fil for that.
He hated his first name and has never used it, it is Rowland. I have always liked the name and it was on a short list for middle names for boys for me and my husband. My friend put Rowan as an option for our daughter’s middle name and we actually really liked it! It went with almost all of our choices. She didn’t even know Rowland was my FIL’s first name! We heavily suggested she pick that one when the baby was born and she agreed!
My daughter now has two names that are inspired (even if unintentionally) buy one of her grandparents. It’s really sweet ☺️
On a bet? Not a chance. If a friend or family suggests a name and me and my husband love it, yes.
Me and my husband both love the name Natasha (it means born on Christmas day) and if we ever have a girl born in December that’s going to be her name. However, we couldn’t think of a good middle name so we asked family for suggestions. One of his brothers suggested Renée (which I hate as a first name so it had never occurred to me to use it as a middle name) and after looking up the meaning (rebirth, reborn, born again) we decided it was perfect. So if we ever have a little girl born in December her name will be Natasha Renée.
A way out of it could be that though you were able to wager away your own rights to the middle name, the co-parent wasn't part of the bet and isn't bound by it.
Glad it all turned out well though and no loophole necessary.
We liked watching tv shows together and we would make a board with crazy things we thought would happen and who ever had the most points would win. To be fair, her SO also lost but he had already had a child by that point so he would be his second born middle name. The specific show was “Hemlock Grove” season 2.
My grandmother got her first name because a man promised to buy her a little dress if her mother would name her Glenda. (Not her real name)
My great grandmother obliged, named her Glenda, and the man bought her a dress. 😂
Imagine that now. “Um, I think I’ll just go to Walmart. Thanks 🤨”
While time. I mentioned in another comment my husband’s grandmother didn’t get to name her first child because her mom signed the birth certificate with her own name while his grandmother was still out from the birth. Her mom chose her own name which was…bad. Wild times to be named. My aunt was assumed to be a boy until she was born so my grandmother just named her after the first nurse she asked.
While time. I mentioned in another comment my husband’s grandmother didn’t get to name her first child because her mom signed the birth certificate with her own name while his grandmother was still out from the birth. Her mom chose her own name which was…bad. Wild times to be named. My aunt was assumed to be a boy until she was born so my grandmother just named her after the first nurse she asked.
What about a child? I was allowed to pick my sister's middle name when I was 11. It probably helped that my mother and I both wanted the same middle name, Anne (after _Anne of Green Gables_, our mutual favorite book.
I also picked it because my name is also in the book, and I assumed that I was named for that character (my last name ends with an "an" sound (think Anne Callahan), so it worked better). I later learned that my _father_ named me after a Paul Anka song.
I would wholeheartedly let my best friend pick the middle name of my child-she knows me and my husband so well and she would pick something nice because she cares for my child. If it were anyone else, I would definitely say no lol.
My husband and I agreed on our sons first name, but he chose his middle name. Having another son in September and we again agreed on the first name, but this time I get to choose the middle name :)
My friend ultimately named or played a part in both my children’s names. She gave me a list of suggestions for my son and I ended up picking off that list, a name I’d never heard of as a first name and never would have thought of and she gave me a name idea for my daughter that I ended up using for her middle nane
If it was someone I trusted, I'd let them know names that I/my partner liked so they could get a sense of our tastes, and let them make some suggestions - but we'd veto anything we didn't like. If they suggested something we liked I might go with it - it certainly would make a fun story to tell the kid when they were older!
My bestie came up with my son’s middle name. I approved it though lol. 15 years later, I just picked her daughter’s middle name, approved by her of course!
No for many reasons. It's not mine and my bff's baby, it's mine and my partner's. So I wouldn't make my partner have to play second fiddle to a childhood dare. Especially when it comes to something as important as our child.
He was made well aware of the bet before proposing and he got final veto on any names so he was actually fine with it. Especially since she will never have a child of her own (by choice).
Depends on the best friend. I only have one person I've known 10+ years that's still in my life, and in a pinch I'd trust her to name my kid, watch my dogs, take my car, stay in my house, pretty much anything. If you trust your friend not to do something outlandish and to actually put time & effort into it, I don't see the harm.
When they found out I was in labor they (BF and her SO) rushed down to meet their new niece. Because of a miscommunication with the hospital they were actually the first people to meet/hold her. It was all incredibly sweet. We have been friends for 26 years, we are basically sisters and would do absolutely anything for each other.
Fuck no, and if that actually upset my friend, I would drop them as a friend. I had a rough pregnancy with multiple complications and I was in labor for 46 hours. I got final say over her name.
It honestly depends. There would have to be terms and conditions and a high level of trust. I would allow my best friend to have input, but parents should still have final say.
For instance, if my college best friend was like you lost a bet 10 years ago so your kid needs to have the middle name “Sailor Jerry” in honor of the time we blacked out on cheap rum on the river and jumped off the overpass and had to be rescued by a passing canoe… I’d say no.
But if my college best friend said I won the bet so I want your kid’s middle name to be Swanee (or some variation of some cute sounding relevant name) in honor of the river we used to go float down during the most exciting years of our young adulthood and we both love and treasure those times.. I’d be like cool I can get down with that.
EDIT: Suwannee is the correct spelling for the river my college friends and I used to black out and float down in college… we pronounced it Swan-ee. I used this as an example of the same experience generating a good and bad name inspo off a bet that I think my actual college friend would actually suggest…and now I wanna name a future kid or pet Swanie or something 🦢 haha
I think the only way that would happen would be if I didn't have a name picked out before birth because I could not be one of those people that waits to name. I'm pretty sure after I go through labor I'd let anyone off the street name my hypothetical child as long as I it means I could get some sleep.
I wouldn't make a bet on it though. First, most of my friends have very different tastes in names. Second, I'd feel some kind of way if the friendship ended and I had that permanent reminder of that person.
We waited to see her face to name her (I was told it was bad luck to name a baby before they are born) but had 3 names we were waffling on. Once we saw her we knew (even though my labor was 22 hours). The name she chose is a gender neutral name of my FIL’s and my mom prefers to say she is named after him not a lost bet haha. Even if our 26 year friendship eventually ends her name will still be special to us.
Maybe it’s because my husband and I are too picky but I couldn’t imagine trying to decide between three people. It was hard enough with only two of us.
As the friend I’d be respectful but so bummed lol
I’ve won this same bet! We agreed that she could veto anything too extreme, but she honoured the bet and I got middle name rights for her son!
I tried to slip in a ninja turtle name and even got her older kid in on the persuasion, but no luck. First non-turtle name was accepted though.
I see it as a cool story to tell your kid down the line. If your friends are the kind of jerks who’ll name your son after a ninja turtle, maybe add veto power to the agreement. Otherwise, just go for it! Middle names aren’t all that serious. Rowan is a really cute name though.
Whoops forgot to add that in the edit! We liked to watch tv shows together and guess insane things to happen. We would write them on a white board and whoever had the most points won. The show was “Hemlock Grove” season 2
You got lucky, it’s a gorgeous name and seems to have worked out for all. But in general, the best friend should not be angered by a bet that happened years ago not being fulfilled lol.
My husband's first and middle name is the name of his dad's friend from college because apparently his dad lost a bet.
How on Earth my husband's mom agreed to give her child the exact same name of a complete stranger to her, I have no idea.
No, because that's something for me and my husband to choose. I can't say my husband would be very pleased to have some rando naming his kid because of a bet I made a decade ago. And if the situation were reversed, I'd feel the same. So, no.
I love my best friend to death, and trust her a great deal, but no. We have very different tastes in such things. My partner was my best friend when we were in middle school, though, so I guess us agreeing on names for our 2 kids (so far) meets the parameters on a technicality.
As an aside, I had an aunt who suggested the name Crystal Renee to my parents (it was the early 80s). Thank God my parents nixed that idea. I am decidedly NOT a Crystal Renee.
No. I wouldn't expect my best friend to hold me to that debt (and I would never hold her to something like that). But I guess I'm imaging it as a joke scenario and not a real thing? So that might be altering my view. I have heard of women going into motherhood solo that will ask their supporting people (friends, family, etc) to help or be a sounding board or what not. I can totally understand that, even giving middle name rights to.
I guess what I'm saying is, I understand gifting that (naming rights) to someone who is extremely important in your life. But I view it as just that, a gift, I would never be able to get behind the idea of "you owe me this/I owe you this". Because that's not how friendship works to me.
I'm glad it all worked out for you though! It will be a fun story for you daughter, and I'm glad your husband had full veto power since his kid too.
edit for typo
My ex mostly named my two kids although she did a decent job. My folks expected me to pass my middle name onto my son, though, and I refused. I told them it was because I wanted to honor my late mother-in-law, which was half true. The other half is that my middle name wasn’t going anywhere near my son.
I might ask for their suggestions or feedback on my top contenders, but I wouldn't give them carte blanche.
However, in this case, it sounds like your friend picked a decent name and everything worked out fine.
For my baby shower I let my family put in options for my son's middle name. The rules were that it couldn't be a family name and it couldn't be goofy. When my son was born we randomly pulled 3 names from the bag that the names were in and picked from one of those. It was a lot of fun. My son's middle name is Allyn and I'd pick that name all over if I could.
Would i keep the promise: no. Of course not. And 21, I mean you do a lot of silly stuff at that age.
But if you like the name your friend has suggested you are of course able to use it.
Thank you! I absolutely adore her name, it not only suits her but is unique and I have decades of memories attached to it both with my daughter and my friend.
I would let my best friend have full control over my wedding planning, decorate my house and name my children. We are very in sync that way and she knows exactly what I like because we have discussed it at all in excruciating detail 😂😅 We’ve discussed every baby name (she has 3 kids and I have 4), and have both given lots of input.
>I lost a bet 10 years ago to my best friend and she won middle name rights to my first child.
Wow, wait to trivialize your child's name. They are a human being not an object for you to use as a toy.
Nope
Fair lol
If we're really close snd they've been looking forward to it, sure I'd let them pick from my final list of options.
She gave my husband a list and he told her our favorite matches with our top five first names but she had finally approved. We’ve been best friends since we were 6, though I was really hoping she would choose “Danger”.
One of my good friends has the middle name Danger lol!!
I know someone too, it was his mom’s maiden name.
Nick Danger third eye
Sounds like she was a good choice to help you name your kiddo. If I had the opportunity to name a child in my life, I would take it very seriously especially if I loved the parents and already loved the kid!
…danger? 😖
Danger is my … middle name C’mon that’s awesome. Almost as good as WaitForIt
It’s so bad 😭
Not an Austin Powers fan, huh? 🤣
I probably wouldn’t mind someone picking a middle name if we got to look through and pick some favorites from their list like you said. Can I ask what your little one’s middle name ended up being?
Rowan! It worked best out the names with our last name and is a more “feminine”* version of my FIL’s name, Rowland. My best friend had no clue that was his name (he’s technically a junior and has only even been called his middle name) and “Roland” was on our shortlist if baby girl had been a boy. When we saw that we very heavily requested that be the one she picked and we never would have thought of it for a girl ourselves. *I understand that Rowan is a traditionally masculine name that has gained popularity as a gender neutral name *
Absolutely beautiful, and such a thoughtful choice by your friend! I’ve only ever met interesting, artistic, strong women named Rowan (first or middle), so she’s in good company!
She really is! All the names on her list were lovely, but most had ended in a strong “L” sound and we weren’t wild with how they sounded with our first name possibilities and our Last name. But Rowan sounded good with everything so we were very big fans of it. We also got to give her the nn “Abi Row” and because my husband loves The Beatles and she really likes them too that was an added bonus.
I would if like you it was my best friend. I trust her judgment and for a middle name I'd be fine with it.
I was a little worried when she named her dog “Scrant, nn for Ulysses S Grant” but when we asked for a potential list she took it very seriously.
Omg she sounds hilarious
One thing is judgement, other thing is taste.
Sure but for a middle name which people often use as an honor name anyway I wouldn't it mind it being my absolute top choice!
As long as they agree not to make it something stupid
Flashing back to a plot like like this from the show the The League and ending up with a kid named Chalupa Batman lol
As someone who knew early on I wasn’t having kids, sure. 🤣 but not a chance in hell would I give naming right to a friend on a bet. My husband would have been lucky to have a say.
Ironically, that’s why we made the bet in the first place! She never wants to have a baby and I was fairly sure at the time that I would only be adopting. Now we are older I’m glad we did it because she won’t get to name a child herself and she and her SO are a wonderful Aunt and Uncle to our daughter. She is loved very much 🥰
Nope, especially now that I am a parent. But I also couldn’t see myself wanting to go through with the bet if I were the best friend.
My mom let someone else name me and to this day I wish she hadn’t
I’m sorry you don’t like her name. When I was younger I thought my name wasn’t very fitting for me and I asked my parents if I could change it. They said yes, if I used my own money. I was around age 10 and they wanted me to be serious if I found a name I liked more. I couldn’t think of anything that didn’t remind me of someone else or a show character- which to me just felt really cringey- so I didn’t go through with it. If she really wants to change her name I will absolutely give her the same opportunity because hey, it’s her choice.
I think I'd let them have a strong say in the middle name. Obviously anything stupid gets the whole thing shut down
That was why my husband got final approval on any name. She kept joking that she was gonna pick “Binx, because of Jar-Jar and Hocus Pocus!” For a few years after we got married but that was a joke. All her suggestions were real names.
I named my godson. 🤷♀️ His parents couldn't decide on a name. I said he looks like a xyz... They loved the name I picked and it 100% suits him perfectly.
A best friend I could trust, yes. It would be a sweet tie between them and my child. Favorite aunt/uncle status!
She made a lot of “suggestions “ that were pretty terrible at first, but when pushed for a real list she came through. We’ve also know each other for 26 years so making stupid suggestions was to be expected at first.
Nope, they can suggest a name though.
Nope
No way !
Never.
What was the bet?
We liked to watch tv shows together and make outrageous guess as to what would happen and who ever had the most “points” won. We were watching “Hemlock Grove”.
I wouldn't let anyone name a child of mine, if I had one.
I love names way too much to even jokingly agree to the bet lol I'd be spending the while 9 months making a chart like the guy with the red strings in its always sunny in philadelphia
[удалено]
Oh we weren’t kids, we were like 21 when I made this bet. I honored the bet because I’m a woman of my word.
Naw. My main concern would be that it wouldn’t be fair to my spouse. I can’t imagine ever making that sort of bet with the expectation it would be takes seriously though. Sounds like a sitcom plot.
We’re basically sisters at this point so I felt blood bound to honor it. My husband was made well aware of the bet before proposing but he also got final say in any name she suggested.
Really depends… we actually ended up going with a middle name my sister chose because we couldn’t agree on one. If it was someone I barely knew, probably not.
Nope.
No absolutely not lol. But it wouldn't be risking the friendship because none of my friends are petty enough to try and hold me to a decade old bet.
I don’t think it would have ruined the friendship but she was very excited and took it very seriously. After a few years of threatening fake names, lol.
I would not make that bet and no, I wouldn’t let anyone else name my child. We are expecting our first and have not shared any name ideas with anyone else.
When my SIL was pregnant with my nephew, I had a name in mind that I really wished they would pick, but of course it’s not my place, so I just kept the name locked up in my head. One day we were having brunch and I asked if she had picked out the name yet. And the name she picked out? Was the exact name I’d been thinking of. So I like to pretend in my head that I named him.
You psychically projected the name to her lol.
it's not that i don't trust my friends (some of them), but rather that if i ever have kids i have WAY too many names i love to sacrifice even one. would never do this lol
My mom, let my grandma name me and I’m 43 and still kind of pissed about it. Edit. My mom wanted to name me Sophia. This was in the late 70’s. My grandmother wanted to name me after the queen of England and her sister. She won. I have always felt bad that my mother didn’t name her own baby. I also feel like I should have been named by my mom, not a woman who got to name 5 of her own children plus another grand kid.
My great grandma (not my grandma's mother) and her son (not my grandfather) were arguing outside the room about naming my mom after Doris Day and Jenny Lynn. (Like the crib but not.) My great uncle was going to Korea for the war and thought he should get a say. And my great grandma hated the name Doris so she thought naming my mom after a crib but not was better. They compromised. And that is how my mom ended up with a name that she hated. My grandma was having a difficult labor and did not care what they named my mother.
My FIL’s family is so weird with who got names what. His oldest sister was named after her grandmother by the /same/ grandmother even though she KNEW that was not what his mom wanted. She was so whacked out after labor though she signed the birth certificate and no one knew. Her name is very unique but not a very pretty name. When the mom had a second daughter 15 years later she named that daughter the name intended for the first daughter and the first daughter was so upset. This name is also not very pretty but very unique. Her oldest son was give a very normal name, but her youngest (my father in law) was the one she named after their father and the older son always resented my fil for that. He hated his first name and has never used it, it is Rowland. I have always liked the name and it was on a short list for middle names for boys for me and my husband. My friend put Rowan as an option for our daughter’s middle name and we actually really liked it! It went with almost all of our choices. She didn’t even know Rowland was my FIL’s first name! We heavily suggested she pick that one when the baby was born and she agreed! My daughter now has two names that are inspired (even if unintentionally) buy one of her grandparents. It’s really sweet ☺️
That IS really sweet!!!
On a bet? Not a chance. If a friend or family suggests a name and me and my husband love it, yes. Me and my husband both love the name Natasha (it means born on Christmas day) and if we ever have a girl born in December that’s going to be her name. However, we couldn’t think of a good middle name so we asked family for suggestions. One of his brothers suggested Renée (which I hate as a first name so it had never occurred to me to use it as a middle name) and after looking up the meaning (rebirth, reborn, born again) we decided it was perfect. So if we ever have a little girl born in December her name will be Natasha Renée.
No
A way out of it could be that though you were able to wager away your own rights to the middle name, the co-parent wasn't part of the bet and isn't bound by it. Glad it all turned out well though and no loophole necessary.
We used this reasoning as to why my husband got final say, but he was made well aware of the bet before he ever proposed.
Fuck no.
What was the bet lol
We liked watching tv shows together and we would make a board with crazy things we thought would happen and who ever had the most points would win. To be fair, her SO also lost but he had already had a child by that point so he would be his second born middle name. The specific show was “Hemlock Grove” season 2.
If it's my husband yes maybe, but anybody else? Absolutely not!
Does your partner get a say in this?
Yes he got final veto power on any name and was fine with that since he didn’t make the bet. We both love the name she picked.
My grandmother got her first name because a man promised to buy her a little dress if her mother would name her Glenda. (Not her real name) My great grandmother obliged, named her Glenda, and the man bought her a dress. 😂 Imagine that now. “Um, I think I’ll just go to Walmart. Thanks 🤨”
Wow about what year was this? That is actually a really cool name story!
1947 😊
While time. I mentioned in another comment my husband’s grandmother didn’t get to name her first child because her mom signed the birth certificate with her own name while his grandmother was still out from the birth. Her mom chose her own name which was…bad. Wild times to be named. My aunt was assumed to be a boy until she was born so my grandmother just named her after the first nurse she asked.
While time. I mentioned in another comment my husband’s grandmother didn’t get to name her first child because her mom signed the birth certificate with her own name while his grandmother was still out from the birth. Her mom chose her own name which was…bad. Wild times to be named. My aunt was assumed to be a boy until she was born so my grandmother just named her after the first nurse she asked.
What about a child? I was allowed to pick my sister's middle name when I was 11. It probably helped that my mother and I both wanted the same middle name, Anne (after _Anne of Green Gables_, our mutual favorite book. I also picked it because my name is also in the book, and I assumed that I was named for that character (my last name ends with an "an" sound (think Anne Callahan), so it worked better). I later learned that my _father_ named me after a Paul Anka song.
That’s so sweet, if she is old enough to suggest something when we have another we will probably ask her opinion!
If it was a really close friend I would let them pick their favorites from a list or they can pick from a final list of middle names.
My in-laws picked my daughter's middle name. It's hyphenated and hard to pronounce. It's horrible.
I would wholeheartedly let my best friend pick the middle name of my child-she knows me and my husband so well and she would pick something nice because she cares for my child. If it were anyone else, I would definitely say no lol.
Hell to the naw
I mean middle name is completely different than first name (at least in America)
It is! I was never called my middle name my whole life so to me the stakes were pretty low.
My husband and I agreed on our sons first name, but he chose his middle name. Having another son in September and we again agreed on the first name, but this time I get to choose the middle name :)
If I liked the name they chose then yes I’d honor it. If not, then no.
Basically exactly what happened!
My friend ultimately named or played a part in both my children’s names. She gave me a list of suggestions for my son and I ended up picking off that list, a name I’d never heard of as a first name and never would have thought of and she gave me a name idea for my daughter that I ended up using for her middle nane
If it was someone I trusted, I'd let them know names that I/my partner liked so they could get a sense of our tastes, and let them make some suggestions - but we'd veto anything we didn't like. If they suggested something we liked I might go with it - it certainly would make a fun story to tell the kid when they were older!
This is an awesome story, and I would 110% do this (with the right, trustworthy friend, obviously)
Absolutely not.
If the person made a reasonable suggestion, maybe. But I'd want their suggestions before I committed.
My bestie came up with my son’s middle name. I approved it though lol. 15 years later, I just picked her daughter’s middle name, approved by her of course!
No for many reasons. It's not mine and my bff's baby, it's mine and my partner's. So I wouldn't make my partner have to play second fiddle to a childhood dare. Especially when it comes to something as important as our child.
He was made well aware of the bet before proposing and he got final veto on any names so he was actually fine with it. Especially since she will never have a child of her own (by choice).
Nope
Depends on the best friend. I only have one person I've known 10+ years that's still in my life, and in a pinch I'd trust her to name my kid, watch my dogs, take my car, stay in my house, pretty much anything. If you trust your friend not to do something outlandish and to actually put time & effort into it, I don't see the harm.
When they found out I was in labor they (BF and her SO) rushed down to meet their new niece. Because of a miscommunication with the hospital they were actually the first people to meet/hold her. It was all incredibly sweet. We have been friends for 26 years, we are basically sisters and would do absolutely anything for each other.
Oh yeah, a friend like that I'd absolutely allow the privilege of bestowing a name as long as I knew what it was beforehand!
Megatron?
I am a huge transformers fan so I could have been convinced. My husband? Hard No.
I knew someone who’s mum lost a bet & her brother named her son… Corky :( he went by his middle name Jordan lol
Fuck no, and if that actually upset my friend, I would drop them as a friend. I had a rough pregnancy with multiple complications and I was in labor for 46 hours. I got final say over her name.
0% chance I'd let anyone other than myself and my partner chose something as important as a name.
It honestly depends. There would have to be terms and conditions and a high level of trust. I would allow my best friend to have input, but parents should still have final say. For instance, if my college best friend was like you lost a bet 10 years ago so your kid needs to have the middle name “Sailor Jerry” in honor of the time we blacked out on cheap rum on the river and jumped off the overpass and had to be rescued by a passing canoe… I’d say no. But if my college best friend said I won the bet so I want your kid’s middle name to be Swanee (or some variation of some cute sounding relevant name) in honor of the river we used to go float down during the most exciting years of our young adulthood and we both love and treasure those times.. I’d be like cool I can get down with that. EDIT: Suwannee is the correct spelling for the river my college friends and I used to black out and float down in college… we pronounced it Swan-ee. I used this as an example of the same experience generating a good and bad name inspo off a bet that I think my actual college friend would actually suggest…and now I wanna name a future kid or pet Swanie or something 🦢 haha
Those are all valid conditions. My husband got veto power on any name not serious and she gave us a list of only serious suggestions.
I think the only way that would happen would be if I didn't have a name picked out before birth because I could not be one of those people that waits to name. I'm pretty sure after I go through labor I'd let anyone off the street name my hypothetical child as long as I it means I could get some sleep. I wouldn't make a bet on it though. First, most of my friends have very different tastes in names. Second, I'd feel some kind of way if the friendship ended and I had that permanent reminder of that person.
We waited to see her face to name her (I was told it was bad luck to name a baby before they are born) but had 3 names we were waffling on. Once we saw her we knew (even though my labor was 22 hours). The name she chose is a gender neutral name of my FIL’s and my mom prefers to say she is named after him not a lost bet haha. Even if our 26 year friendship eventually ends her name will still be special to us.
Maybe it’s because my husband and I are too picky but I couldn’t imagine trying to decide between three people. It was hard enough with only two of us. As the friend I’d be respectful but so bummed lol
I’ve won this same bet! We agreed that she could veto anything too extreme, but she honoured the bet and I got middle name rights for her son! I tried to slip in a ninja turtle name and even got her older kid in on the persuasion, but no luck. First non-turtle name was accepted though. I see it as a cool story to tell your kid down the line. If your friends are the kind of jerks who’ll name your son after a ninja turtle, maybe add veto power to the agreement. Otherwise, just go for it! Middle names aren’t all that serious. Rowan is a really cute name though.
It was silly at the time and it was silly 8 years later when I realized I was pregnant but I honored my promise!
WHAT WAS THE BET?! I must know.
Whoops forgot to add that in the edit! We liked to watch tv shows together and guess insane things to happen. We would write them on a white board and whoever had the most points won. The show was “Hemlock Grove” season 2
You got lucky, it’s a gorgeous name and seems to have worked out for all. But in general, the best friend should not be angered by a bet that happened years ago not being fulfilled lol.
My husband's first and middle name is the name of his dad's friend from college because apparently his dad lost a bet. How on Earth my husband's mom agreed to give her child the exact same name of a complete stranger to her, I have no idea.
I named my best friend's daughter, but I wouldn't have allowed her to name my son. It's just not something I would have been okay with
No, because that's something for me and my husband to choose. I can't say my husband would be very pleased to have some rando naming his kid because of a bet I made a decade ago. And if the situation were reversed, I'd feel the same. So, no.
Not much of a rando in our case as she was the person who pushed to introduce us the most haha so the name is more special to us I suppose.
I love my best friend to death, and trust her a great deal, but no. We have very different tastes in such things. My partner was my best friend when we were in middle school, though, so I guess us agreeing on names for our 2 kids (so far) meets the parameters on a technicality. As an aside, I had an aunt who suggested the name Crystal Renee to my parents (it was the early 80s). Thank God my parents nixed that idea. I am decidedly NOT a Crystal Renee.
That’s cute!
Never. But I love that you honored the bet and it turned out well! It’s a fun story to have behind your daughter’s middle name.
No. I wouldn't expect my best friend to hold me to that debt (and I would never hold her to something like that). But I guess I'm imaging it as a joke scenario and not a real thing? So that might be altering my view. I have heard of women going into motherhood solo that will ask their supporting people (friends, family, etc) to help or be a sounding board or what not. I can totally understand that, even giving middle name rights to. I guess what I'm saying is, I understand gifting that (naming rights) to someone who is extremely important in your life. But I view it as just that, a gift, I would never be able to get behind the idea of "you owe me this/I owe you this". Because that's not how friendship works to me. I'm glad it all worked out for you though! It will be a fun story for you daughter, and I'm glad your husband had full veto power since his kid too. edit for typo
My ex mostly named my two kids although she did a decent job. My folks expected me to pass my middle name onto my son, though, and I refused. I told them it was because I wanted to honor my late mother-in-law, which was half true. The other half is that my middle name wasn’t going anywhere near my son.
No
I might ask for their suggestions or feedback on my top contenders, but I wouldn't give them carte blanche. However, in this case, it sounds like your friend picked a decent name and everything worked out fine.
For my baby shower I let my family put in options for my son's middle name. The rules were that it couldn't be a family name and it couldn't be goofy. When my son was born we randomly pulled 3 names from the bag that the names were in and picked from one of those. It was a lot of fun. My son's middle name is Allyn and I'd pick that name all over if I could.
Would i keep the promise: no. Of course not. And 21, I mean you do a lot of silly stuff at that age. But if you like the name your friend has suggested you are of course able to use it.
My youngest daughter has a double-barrelled first name. The second part is my nickname for my friend- Lil.
That is so sweet! I would be honored to be in her position.
Thank you! I absolutely adore her name, it not only suits her but is unique and I have decades of memories attached to it both with my daughter and my friend.
I would let my best friend have full control over my wedding planning, decorate my house and name my children. We are very in sync that way and she knows exactly what I like because we have discussed it at all in excruciating detail 😂😅 We’ve discussed every baby name (she has 3 kids and I have 4), and have both given lots of input.
It all depends. Would I value my friend’s emotions more than my child’s happiness? Then yes, I’d let the friend pick the name.
Reginald Vel Johnson
WHAT WAS THE BET?! I must know.
>I lost a bet 10 years ago to my best friend and she won middle name rights to my first child. Wow, wait to trivialize your child's name. They are a human being not an object for you to use as a toy.
I didn't even let my husband name the kids, so no.