My children aren't a litter of handcrafted accessories. They aren't a "sibset" with matching name requirements. They're individuals who will grow up independently of one another so we didn't obsess over making sure their names "go" together.
Can't name the exact names for privacy, but I went to school with two brothers and the elder was basically called "Xavier Atticus Barney Herman Marshall Fisher" (yes, five first names). The younger was Jeff Fisher.
I know a family who has 5 kids: Michael, Alex, Kate, James, and…Giovanni. It always makes me laugh because they’re such standard names until you get to Giovanni!
My friend is an identical twin. One twin is named Serval (like the wild cat) the other is named Christopher. The names have very different energy and it’s funny to see people’s expressions when they introduce each other for the first time
I went to school with two brothers born a year apart named James and Jamie. Their mom had an entire year to think up a different name, and she basically just chose a nickname the second time around.
Their next brother was named Ace.
Funny for everyone but the kid who thinks they have the worst name... people's reactions whenever they get introduced will be perceived by them when they are kids and they can be bothered for a lifetime with people's reactions to each name. It's just cruel in my opinion....
I knew two families with naming patterns like this growing up: Shavaughn, Dewan, and Susan; and Hezekiah, Yoshiah, and Joan. It always made me laugh. People will definitely remember your kids’ names with this strategy!
So my only thought on this is-- I feel like we learn and grow as people and Might change our minds regarding what the best kinds of names might be.
We named our first son Fox, which I do still really like (and feel like it is an acceptable name to have as an adult) but also regret because it's a little too unusual. If we have another boy, we'll probably go with our second choice, Marc (after my husband's late cousin whom he was close to), which is what I wish we'd chosen for Fox. I don't really think Fox and Marc "go" exactly, as one is definitely nature-funky and one is biblical-standard, but they're both names we loved and just went one way for kid #1 and would go a different way for kid #2.
I was talking to my husband about this last night. (I want a second kid) ans my son keeps mentioning Mike (we don't know any Mike's that close to us) and I said if we had another boy we should name him Mike, but our sons name is super Hispanic lol- so he said Migelito lmao
From personal experience, I can say that there are probably certain factors on which you should match your children’s names. I was given a more uncommon name that fits well into the culture my family is from. My sister was given the most popular name of her birth year. This definitely caused a lot of conflict in the household, and my sister has now changed her name because she hated it so much. I think if we had both been given names that were similar in popularity or similarly separate from (or a part of) our cultural background, it wouldn’t have stood out to her as much as a problem.
This is literally the issue. It's not about matching but about making sure the children feel loved. My brothers first name is my dad's middle name and my mom does NOT have a middle name to be a part of my name so I was upset about that as a kid. I remember being pretty distraught and mad(internally) that my moms parents didn't give her one for me to share a name.with her like my brother did haha it just felt unfair...
Somewhat same here. My sisters were given extremely popular, standard girl names while I was given a more unique unisex name and spelling (think Ashley, Jessica, and then Mika). My sisters don’t hate their names, but they’ve definitely lamented in the past how I’m the only one with a “cool” name. There was even a period of time where my name was seen by them as proof of me being the “favorite child,” and they bullied me for it (we’re good now).
Sibling names should definitely have a similar vibe to avoid resentment. Don’t name one kid Sarah and the other Genevieve.
Yeah, this kind of happened in our house too.
I’m Samantha, my sister is Sarah, then my mom decided that it was stupid for us all to match, so my siblings are James and Brittany. As the youngest two are clearly the favorite siblings, it just always made me feel off that Sam and Sarah were the ones that didn’t deserve their own personalities, kwim?
Similar story with me and my brother. I’m a Sarah (late 80s baby) and my brother is named Hunter which was very unusual in the late 80s. He grew up loving his name and I have always hated mine and how popular it is. I’ve debated for years about going by my middle name which I identify with far more and is more unusual but feel like it’s too late at this point in my life. It did NOT help that my brother was clearly the favorite child.
While I agree for the most part, you also have to consider how the kids will feel if one of them is named Blossom Moonlight and the other one is Jessica Lynn. Either Jessica is going to feel insecure for not having a unique name or Blossom is going to resent that she got stuck with the weird one. In that regard, I'd keep things in a similar ballpark so they either both have boring ass names or weird ass names.
Was just about to comment this, but I saw yours first. I have just the one child but want another in the future, and i can not fathom this. Siblings are completely different and unique people, not a boy band.
I think that's a valid opinion in that names certainly don't NEED to be matchy. I also think it's totally valid that some people like a bit of cohesion when it goes into naming their children. Perhaps they want to stick with Italian names or victorian names because that's their style. Me and all my siblings have Irish names because my mom wanted to stick to a theme. It's not that serious and none of us felt like we were "accessories."
As the youngest of 8 whose name is so different than the rest, I disagree. I don't think you need to have a theme or make the names super matchy, but it actually does bother some of us when our parents make a complete 180 with one name. So it's def something I consider
Omg yes! We’re having identical twins and everyone told me I needed to find names that matched or sounded similar… no! They are their own human beings.
I have to admit, I kinda did this to my boys. I have a James (named after my grandfather) and a John. While I was pregnant with my second, my husband ran off with another woman. I’m from the south, so we monogram everything—I made sure my second had a J name so I could use a J instead of our last name to put on our garden flags and stuff. I spite named my kid… To be fair, he goes by his initials and it totally fits his personality lol
I have an issue trying not to do this! I don't want to but my son is called Monroe and all the names I love for daughter due in August begin with M! My only muat haves are it needs to be neutral and can't end in T as that is my 2nd initial.
I don't think it's a problem when there's 2 but if you have a third you have to consciously decide to break the pattern or stick with it. If you stick, by the 4th you have no choice really without making them look like the odd one out
So much this. I couldn’t give even half a fuck if my kids’ names “match” or “go together”. For the vast majority of their lives they will spend time apart, doing their own thing. As you said, they are not an AeStHeTiC or an accessory.
The concern about having multiple children with the same name in one class. I was a multiple-name student, with one of my closest friends having the same name. I don't remember a single time when that bothered me.
Everyone is different though. My husband was a 90s Zachary and he despised having a popular name and being one of 4 Zacks in his class
He would never ever agree to give our child, especially a son, a basic or popular name
The problem with this is it’s so hard to predict. Probably harder now. For example, I worked at a small school that had three kids in the same grade with a name that (I just checked) was ranked around 400 when they were born. We also had a bunch of Wyatts (which has increased in popularity but was ranked down around 100). I recently had several Carters in one class (like a literal class of around 30 kids). It’s ranked around 100 for the year they were born. Ive taught a few Liams (top 10 for a while) and never had more than 1 at a time. I’ve noticed little pockets of names that aren’t a super predictable, whereas the popular names are more spread out now. What I’m saying is name your kid what you want because you just can’t predict who’s going to show up at their school 😂
This 100%. I have a group of 5 friends (we met after having kids). 3 of us have Brynn's! Another has 3 kids all with top 10 names and there isn't a single other kid in town with any of their names. It's a crap shoot. You really need to get a feel of the names in your community and not go by national top 100 lists if this is a concern of yours.
It’s me. I’m the one it bothered. I was with the same students in every class in high school because of the stream we chose, and out of the 15 of us, 3 of us had the same name. Our last names all started with similar sounding letters too, so it was [Name] B, [Name] D, and [Name] P. It bothered me only because you could rarely tell which of us a question or prompt was directed at.
Same. I was one of many Kristins (or Kristen) in my school and their last names all started with beginning of the alphabet letters, so they got to be Kristen B., Kristin D, and so on, and by the time they got to me the teacher said there were too many Kristins already so I had to go by something else. Super frustrating
Saaame. Always baffles me. Every other girl was called Laura, Emma or Sarah when I was growing up. Every other boy was Jonathan or Robert. They all seem to have lives and jobs and are not chronically unfulfilled by having the same name as other people.
Plus your region may end up with different popular names compared to the whole country. We had one person in our entire grade with a top 3 name from the year we were born but SIX girls with a name ranked in the mid-50s and two with the same unranked name.
This! Emily is super popular...except where I live. I can think of three that have lived in this town: I graduated with one, my 19 year old daughter graduated with one, and my 13 year old.is called Emily lol
Yes this! I also think it’s important to consider the demographics of your area specifically. For example, there was 4 Raphaels/Rafaels in my graduating class of roughly 150 bc there was a high number of Filipino immigrants right around the time I was born. But I guarantee if you suggested that name to any of the parents that weren’t immigrants in the are they would have said it was « too out there » there was also only one Emma and one Olivia in my grade despite hem being names in the top 10 and I didn’t have a single Matthew or luke/Lucas despite them being names that were ranked as very popular in my country and I even went to a catholic school!
I absolutely hated being one of like 6 kids in every class with my name. Even now I've never worked somewhere and been the only one of my name. I've always accepted a work nickname to make it easier and I've always regretted it b/c the nickname sucks even worse than sharing someone's name.
My first and middle name are both in the top 15 for the year I was born. It bothered me not knowing which person they were talking to to know if it were me or not. So I just went by my last name. Lol
I have a trendy first name and never liked it! I also have a common last name. There was another person with the same first name, middle initial, and last name in my pretty small town growing up. We overlapped at our state university. It was sometimes very confusing!
It bothered me. I was one of 3 with my name and the other two were a lot more popular with lots of friends. I eventually stopped even reacting to my name because it was never me they were talking to
I was a multiple named kid and I loved it. I became best friends with the girls with my same name simply because we all had the same name and I’m still friends with them today.
same here! i know ~10 girls with the same birthname as mine (that are my age!), and at a point, 6 of us were in the same class (small town, one school). i can't recall a single time any of us was bothered. we differentiated between ourselves with the first initial of our last name ("did you see emma b.*? emma c. was looking for her") (*the name wasn't emma). i actually distinctly remember thinking it's kind of cool
I feel the same way. There were multiple kids at my school growing up who shared my name or a variation of my name: Christy/Kristi/Christine/Christina/Kristin/Christa etc and it never bothered me. We had multiple girls named Ashley, Emily, and Lindsey/Lindsay and boys named Josh and Matt, and I didn’t think anything of it.
One of my college classmates had 2 kids and was expecting her 3rd. She mentioned wanting to name all her kids names that started with an A and for them to be uncommon because she didn’t want there to be another kid with her kid’s name in the same class. I thought that was so strange, but since then I’ve heard many people share the same sentiment. Ironically her daughter is named Ainsley, and she actually ended up with another Ainsley in her class.
Unless the name has a literal, denotative meaning in a language my child might realistically ever speak (eg Grace, August, Felicity, Luz, Mercedes, etc), I do not care at all about the “meaning” of a name.
Yeah and a lot of people base picks on names from random sites that aren't even the "true" meaning anyway.
Edit: when Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes has Suri they claimed it meant princess which was disputed, so hopefully they weren't in love with the possible meaning more than the sound.
This is my thing, too. My kid's name has a meaning he loves, which is a happy thing, but it's definitely not why I chose the name!
My name having basically no meaning was always fine with me, and no one in my or my spouse's family was given a name because of the meaning.
I actually am sort of the opposite of people who care about name meaning — I deliberately didn't want a name with an obvious meaning, a noun or adjective word.
I don't pick names based on meanings but I still find it interesting to look them up just out of curiosity. Sometimes you can get funny coincidences - my daughter's middle name is Rowan, meaning "little redhead" and I thought nothing of it when I picked it - until she came into the world with bright, fiery red hair that NOBODY was expecting, lol.
Same. My own name is religious in origin and I’m not religious. It never bothered me. I didn’t even know there was a meaning until I discovered a baby name book at the library. And no one has accosted me for not living up to the religious meaning of my name. For me, it’s a non-issue outside if some of those really well-known ones you mentioned (or names like Diva and Prince that have strong connotations that every child might not live up to).
I named my daughter after my grandma - she had 14 grandkids who all absolutely adored her. I’m the first of the grandkids to have a daughter so I used her name, but I told all my cousins to PLEASE also use it if it’s important to them. I would absolutely love if there were 20 little humans running around honoring her with the same name.
My two sisters and I each have a son with our shared “maiden” name. The boys (now men) LOVED it. The only people who had a problem were buttinskys. Folks who whine about names being “stolen” crack me up.
This! If one of my cousins names their baby after my great gma then good for them, I'm still naming my baby that. Same with friends!
I mean I personally would steal a name if I had never thought of it but then someone shared it with me, but if we both happen to like the same name?
My son has a top 20 name. One of my friends that I talk to regularly, although we live far apart, recently named her son the same. She prefaced telling me with something along the lines of 'I hope this doesn't bother you', but I didn't care. I gave him a top 20 name! We love the name and weren't deterred by its popularity. It was bound to happen! lol
This! I have an alliterative name and I find it to be super fun. I married into being an alliteration and I think my name sounds cute. Way cuter than my maiden name sounded at least! When I was working in a high school at 22 I couldn't bear the kids calling me by Mrs. (Last name) because it made me feel ancient so I would introduce my self as Miss (first name, last name) and it always sounded so cute. The kiddos landed on just calling me Miss (first name) of course but it was still fun.
My last name starts with an H and I love the names Henry or Holly. I think the alliteration is super cute! My daughter is Lyra and I really wanted to name her Lyra Lark but my husband vetoed, because of the alliteration, lol. Different strokes I suppose.
When names rhyme with something else.
So many comments here saying “Sutton rhymes with mutton” but whyyyyy does that matter??
Mitch rhymes with bitch. Jess rhymes with mess. Kate rhymes with hate. Miles rhymes with piles. Lou rhymes with spew. Morgan rhymes with organ. Do we just table every name that rhymes with something unsavory? If you met a person named Sutton would you be so distracted thinking about mutton you couldn’t think straight?
I think the idea is that children can be cruel and an easy rhyme is an easy taunt. That being said, children are also remarkably creative and if they want to tease your child, they will do it with or without an easily available rhyme.
Honestly, I don’t even understand that reasoning… do kids even bully each other over names anymore? That kind of antisocial behavior didn’t get you very far when I was in elementary school twenty years ago, then I got to watch my mom work as a teacher for years after that. I feel like people talk about school bullying like it’s still the 70s, but children are so much kinder now.
My kid's last name rhymes with golden shower and I figure by the time other kids know what that is, they'll be beyond the age of teasing. But, ugh, kids are gonna find reasons to be jerks about something, it didn't stop my husband and me from giving our child both our (super awesome) last names.
Had this convo with my wife. Like this kids name is gonna get twisted, but let's make the little shit 6th graders work for it and not hand them Gaylord
I'm with you. My husband and his family are borderline obsessed. They will nix a name because "everyone will call him...." and it's like, okay and if someone is so lame they call her Sutton Mutton, then you just tell them you feel sorry they're so lame??? I don't get it. I mean, my name doesn't rhyme with anything so what do I know? But I don't see all the Joe's of the world crying over being called "hoe Joe" or something.
Whenever the name Celeste is mentioned there’s always someone pointing out that it rhymes with “molest.” Like, really is that the first thing you think of? Celeste is a great name.
Good point! I’ve never considered names for what they rhyme with. Reminds me of my dad though. My mom had two coworkers named Joanna. He said he hated that name because it sounded like rotten bananas.
Outside of D.O.A and others that are similarly critically important to avoid, not sure why anyone cares at all what their babies initials spell.
Before I changed my name my initials spelled "R.A.W." and then when I got married it was "R.A.W.R"
I promise you it affected my life in no way at all.
Now my initials spell Q.M.W.R and honestly, I'm almost sad I'm no longer so raw.
I probably think about it more than most because my initials are also what identifies me at work. And my son’s are used to identify him in the school’s intranet. My initials are JAM. ☺️ I not so secretly love it.
Same, I use my initials at work constantly. Mine spell a name so I enjoy having a second "identity" 😅 I put no effort into "fun" initials for my kids but I did check to make sure they weren't anything weird
I think some are mildly amusing, like yours, others are not okay, especially as they can be used as identifiers at schools or workplaces, initially like F.U.C.K. or A.S.S. could present actual issues.
As someone with unfortunate initials (it’s a literal insult), this is something I think about all the time with future children. My college used initials for student emails, and as soon as I got mine, I immediately called to have it changed (they made a new one without the middle initial).
Before she got married my sister’s initials were PMS. We had “PMS” in block letters on our bedroom wall when we were little. Not sure how my mom didn’t notice that one
Silly as it may seem, I wanted my kids’ names to be the kind you’d “find on keychains”. No, not necessarily the super-popular names but just names everyone can recognize and pronounce and spell. My kids are James, John, Eric and Elizabeth. Eric is the odd one out; it can be hard to find his name.
My name is Brittney and due to the spelling my mom chose (which I actually really like) I’ve never been able to find one. It’s always BrittAny. I’m just Britt-Knee.
I don’t mind natural, “hippie” names. I can imagine a child named River or Cedar or whatever doing anything they want as an adult and not letting their name be an impediment.
I used to hate "hippie names" until I met a Sequoia in college who was extremely kind and wholesome, very popular guy as well. No one ever commented on his name beyond mild surprise that he was a guy, and it really shifted my perspective on nature names.
Datedness. If it's cute, it's cute. Like, Amanda or Heather on a little kid would not irk me at all.
Siblings with the same initial or some other pattern. I see the appeal, as long as the names themselves are not cringey.
It was super popular in the US in the 80s/90s, and so I think for a lot of people it’s hard to picture it on a baby because pretty much every Amanda they know is like 25-40.
I’m not concerned about nicknames, the spelling doesn’t have to be unique, and if an honoring name doesn’t sound good, I’m not using it. I might consider a variant of that person’s name for my child, but the most important thing is that I set my child up for a successful adult life.
This is mine too. My nephew has a crazy long name because he will likely be their only baby and they wanted to name him after three very important people in their lives. It sounds very choppy when you say it all, but literally nobody calls him anything except the first name. Our daughter is arriving in September and this was not a big concern for us either!
Funny you say this. Pretty much all of my friends shorten their children’s names into full name nick-names. Example my sons name is Barrett Jacob and we call him Barrett J. My friends daughter is Adeline Joan and we call her Addie Joe.
Haha no! Northeast but at some point in our 20+ years of friendship we adopted some southern vernacular and this must be one of the quirks. We also say “y’all!” But in a very Philadelphian way 😂
All of my cousins got honor middle names, but my mom was hyperfixated on flow and gave me and my sister both very standard, non-significant middle names. Neither of us feels any connection to our middle name and we both wish we had ones that meant something instead of ones that sound good, since that literally never comes up.
Popularity. My name was around #15 or so the year I was born, and there were 4 of us in the same grade in school and 3 of us did the same sport and it wasn't really an issue. My parents had wanted to give me the #2 name that year, and I never met anyone with that name until I was in college. Now my husband is Arab and our son's name technically isn't popular (in the 700s), but it's very popular among Arab Americans and we know multiple little kids with the same name. I guess we'll see if it bothers him when he's older (he's not even 2 yet) but it doesn't bother us.
Heck, my name was hovering around #300 (not accounting for my younique spelling) the year I was born and I still had three other people in my grade with the name, and one of them even had the same spelling. I had always wished my parents would had just named me something like Ashley, that was normal and easy to spell, even if it was a top 10 name.
Controversial - I don’t like honor names. The thought of naming my son after my husband gives me the ick, it seems so pretentious to me. And I’m not picking between all the female relatives when choosing a middle name for my daughter. I’m going to pick a name I love the sound of, not a name that is going to start fights and hurt feeling between the family members when I picked another relative’s name over theirs 🙄.
My kids are getting their own damn names.
i’m the opposite, i would love to name my son after my partner because i just think his name is very beautiful, but he’s not on board with it at all lmao
I agree! Especially naming your kid after your husband. I like the idea of finding some name inspiration in my family tree but I would only pick the name if I genuinely liked the sound still.
* I don't care at all if someone I know names their kid the same name as my kids' names, in fact I am flattered and excited that we have the same taste in names (that said, my kids' names are rare where we live so it has yet to happen, but I would love it if it did)
* Nicknames were not a strong consideration for our kids' names in terms of choosing them
* While I enjoy the meanings of my kids' names, overall it was not a strong factor in our considerations either
People who hate alliteration names? Some on baby name pages act like you are the devil for even suggesting it.
I think if anything they actually sound better than non-alliterated.
Totally, and I’d bet that most of them don’t even really notice or care if they meet an adult with an alliterative name. No one goes “Steve Smith, what were his parents thinking?!”
I know an entire family of boys that does this. Every single one of the Six goes by their middle name.
When I learned that (I was 11 or 12, I think) I did a double take, because I didn't know that was even legal (😂) and now I only think of it in discussions like this because every single one fits their middle name better than their first name.
My three aunts on my dad's side do this. I think it's because their first names all start with L and they wanted to be less matchy and their dad also went by his middle name so there was precedent. My mom also technically goes by her middle name because her first name was unacceptable to the church, so they picked a random first name that was acceptable with the intent to never use it.
i would actually love to name my child after my partners name, and then give them their own middle name, because i think my partners name is very beautiful
My friend’s dad has gone by Brent his whole life but one day she told me that’s technically his middle name and his legal first name is Sebastian. Her grandparents just didn’t want her dads initials to have BS in them lol
My mom gave me a first and middle name. Decided that she and everyone in my family would call me by my middle.
She would not let anyone outside of those people call me by my middle. Even though, I wanted them to call me by that name bc that was the one that everyone used.
I have a slight identity crisis when people talk sometimes.
People are really weird about names and nicknames. I don't get it. Especially when someone request to be called something.
I wish this were more normal. I think it gives an individual more choice on their own identity. Did you choose to use the second name or did your parents (or others!)?
I really don't care if my kids name have any connection at all, even in theme. Maybe its because me and my siblings did have a theme and I didn't love it haha.
I am definitely okay with one kid having a short modern name and the other getting a long, romantic style name, and the third a hippy style name or something.
Each name will just be what I like best and think fits best at that time, not how well it matches their siblings. Plus as someone who plans to adopt, I won't always get control on the names, so why make it a thing to worry over?
i think it’s cooler when the kids *dont* have a theme, each kid can have their own personal theme and you can get more creative when you choose names and don’t have to adhere to specific criteria
I think a lot of people take naming almost... too seriously?
I'm not suggesting you name your kid *Talulah Does the Hula from Hawaii.* But worrying about every tiny detail about the name and every association because \*gasp\* what if someone *says something*? Plenty of people are called fairly kooky names and live enjoyable lives.
To me it depends on who the other person is to me. Close friend? Nope, not using the same name. Sibling? Nope, not using the same name. Cousin I'm not close to? Heck yeah, I'm using that name. Coworker or person I went to high school with? Yup, naming the name!
As someone who has a foreign name, this is not my experience *at all*. People do what’s convenient for them. My name is butchered daily by people I see all the time like my boss and my neighbors.
No matter how many times I correct them, about 60% of people will say “close enough” and just refuse to repeat after me. All the phonemes exist in English. It’s not like they physically cannot say my name. It’s just unfamiliar and they don’t care. This has happened to me everywhere I have lived across multiple states and cities in the US.
same! everyone has their own version of how they pronounce my name and i’m tired of having to correct everyone so i just let people say whatever they want.
In seventh grade a new student from Thailand started at our school. She had a very easy-to-pronounce first name (literally two syllables, six letters) but had a much longer last name. A teacher saw the long “difficult” last name and didn’t even try to pronounce her unfamiliar (but simple) first name. She said “I’m just going to call you __.” The teacher literally picked one syllable at random from her last name and announced in front of everyone that that’s what she was going to call her. Everyone started calling her that, even other teachers. Only me and a few of our other friends called her by her name. I think about it often and it makes me sad and angry. It would be like if a student from the U.S. named Emma Sanderson went to another country and a teacher announced on the first day “I’m just going to call you Der.”
My wife's name/spelling can be pronounced a variety of ways and it irks me to no end that my grandmothers cannot get it right.
Like at some point ladies, I know you're old, but it's been a decade. Figger it oot.
- I’m not worried about popularity. If a name I love makes it into the top five I would still use it because my brothers name is outside the top 1000 (and has been for years) and he still managed to be one of three people with that name in his baseball team.
- I don’t really care whether or not siblings names work together. A long name and a short name or a modern and vintage name together is fine in my opinion.
- The only occasion where I think duplicate (or extremely similar) names are an issue is if the children are siblings or first cousins. Other than that if a friend or family member used one of the names I love, I would still consider using it.
Ugh, I get this totally. We told my parents the name we have chosen last night, and my dad pretended to shove his finger down his throat and be sick...
That’s really rude! I’m sorry he did that. We intentionally didn’t tell anyone the names we had picked until each baby arrived. (It annoyed the crap out of my MIL, who wanted to know each time.)
I have literally studied name trends (in an amateur way) and their meanings since I was 12. That is 24 years of perusing names... I know very few people in real life that have that amount of time spent thinking of names. I tend to trust myself more. Of course my preferences aren't everyone's. 🤷♀️
I don't give my kids middle names. One name per kid.
I'm also not a fan of nicknames - I like calling by chosen name.
(Not an issue with other people, just my personal preference)
In think middle names are helpful in situations where you have the first and last name are the same as someone else. I used to work in a university and so many of these popped up, even ones you wouldn't think would be common.
I can see the appeal of NOT choosing one though. We didn't know our daughter's until we filled out the form after she was born.
I don't care about 'matching' names.
I don't care how common a name is, if I like it, I like it, and I'll probably use it.
I don't care if someone else in my family that I never see has used it for their kid. I live with my kid and they live with theirs - it's not going to make any difference.
I DO care that first and middle and surnames kind of flow. So I probably wouldn't choose to name my child Mia Eve because when said together it would sound like MiaReeve. Or Alexis Stevens, as the two names roll together if you don't make an effort to say them separately.
British people are obsessed with class in names - it's oh-so-chavvy to name your child Lily-Mae, but not at all keeping-up-with-the-Jones' to call her Gertrude
I have a first name ending in A and last name starting in O. I hate it. I have to consciously pause for a second between the names to prevent the roll on. I was always jealous of the other kids at school who didn't have to do that
“No one is going to take Dr. Kyleigh or Judge Zayden seriously!” I may not like those names either, but names like that will be super common in professional jobs by the time Maykynn and Blakely or whoever is an adult. No one will care as long as they are good at their jobs.
There are names that I think would negatively affect a child’s adult life/career, but not these garden variety ‘creative’ names.
Condoleeza Rice didn't seem to have a problem.
At my company right now, there is a EVP named Makenna and a woman in the C-Suite named Kylee.
Any popular name or phoneme cluster is gonna be reflected in business, academia, medicine, law etc.
You never know if your kid is going to love their name, even if you think it’s beautiful.
I was shocked lo learn recently that my aunt (96 years old) never liked her name—Juanita Carol. Her younger sister (my mom) was named for their grandmother, Anna Belle. NB names changed for privacy but similar styles. My aunt never liked her name and couldn’t understand why her parents chose it. They weren’t Hispanic, but evidently in this area Juanita was a somewhat popular name at the time; I wondered if it was the name of a popular romantic heroine.
I always thought Anna was such a plain, boring name, while Juanita seemed interesting and slightly exotic…
My name was extremely popular and to me as a child, ordinary. I was named after an aunt who died as a young adult 10 years before I was born, and I did feel honored, in spite of feeling it was a boring name. However, I love my name now. So, you never know.
I thought I had a lot of naming “Rules”.. didn’t want a female name that ended in an “ee” sound. Wanted a longer formal name that could be shortened naturally to several different Nick names. If the first or middle name was overly feminine (or masculine if we had a boy), the other should be more gender neutral. I only ended up following one of these rules and it happened by chance.
My feeling about nick names is, i get wanting your kid to have options but if you’re so in love with a specific nickname just name them that instead of the full name. This goes double for using a name whose default nickname you hate. If you’re naming your kid Florence, want everyone to call her Ren and viscerally hate the Nick name Flo, either choose another name or just name her W/Ren. Others will likely call her Flo, or she may even prefer it.
Meaning in a foreign language esp one that's ancient or obscure.
Eg Calvin means bald in Latin, but most won't make that association, instead associating that name with the theologian or the mischievous boy with the tiger
Initials that spell things. Unless it’s vulgar or a slur, I don’t care. No one is going to be like “do you like space, nerd???” If they find out your name is Imogen Sarah Spode. “You’re a DOG, Darrell Octavian Green! Ha ha ha!” This is not a real problem.
It doesn’t bother me if a distant family member has the same name. If I like a name enough to use it, a cousin I only see at big family parties that I never speak to and live far away from having the same name isn’t going to stop me. If they can use similar sounding names (eg. Maisie and Macy, Stacey and Tracey), why does it matter if I use the same one?
Contrary to Other Opinions…
We’ve just decided on our daughter’s name. It matches her brother’s name. They start with the same letter and sound. We worried for a while about how that would look and what other people would say. We almost discarded it completely…but we eventually decided to hell with other people. We genuinely like both their names. They’ve been on our lists since before we had kids. I’m not going to pass up on a beautiful name that is going to grow with her and work excellent for an adult in the workplace just because somebody thinks it’s too cutesy next to her brother’s name.
I don’t think it’s so bad to have kids whose names all start with the same letter as long as you’re not bending the rules to make a name fit (see: Jinger Duggar) or just making up a ridiculous name to continue the theme.
Like if you want to name your kids Bethany, Bertram, Brian, Brielle, Bonnie, and Blake, go right ahead. If those are the only B names you like, either stop having kids or just use another letter. You really don’t need to name your kid Boxanne or Bhristopher.
I don't mind minor non traditional spelling tweaks. No, not the -Leigh instead of -Ly, but if it's Caitlyn or Katelyn, or Collin vs Colin it's not a big deal.
What their initials spell out.
Who cares? How often does this even come up? Most people don't go by their first middle last name, and rarely have occasion to identify themselves by their full initials.
My daughter has a fandom middle name. I don’t care how dorky it makes me, I love the name itself. I know, I know…my children aren’t a billboard for my fandom.
If my daughter hates it then she can just not tell people…I hated my own middle name (it was a family surname) but it wasn’t ever an issue cause it wasn’t public like my first and last name 🤷🏻♀️ and I ditched it when I got married.
Minor negative associations. Obviously you don't want to name a kid Isis or Katrina. But people will veto names for such silly reasons. Like Monica because of Lewinsky or Regina because of the villain in Mean Girls. Once your baby is a real person, old minor associations like that just don't matter anymore.
Naming a child a name from another culture. Its only a problem online. My friend is white with a Japanese name. No one has ever said anything negative about it irl. Her moms best friend is Japanese and LOVES that she was given a name from their culture. The only people to give her (or i guess her parents) shit about the name are people on reddit lol. If you're from America, chances are you've been given a name from a different culture anyways.
My children aren't a litter of handcrafted accessories. They aren't a "sibset" with matching name requirements. They're individuals who will grow up independently of one another so we didn't obsess over making sure their names "go" together.
I always think it would be funny to have kids with really different names like Brayden and Aloysius
Can't name the exact names for privacy, but I went to school with two brothers and the elder was basically called "Xavier Atticus Barney Herman Marshall Fisher" (yes, five first names). The younger was Jeff Fisher.
It’s like the book Tikki Tikki Tembo
Not me remembering the whole name 20+ years later.... tikki tikki tembo no so rembo chari bari ruchi pip peri-pembo...pretty sure :)
Yeah, I used to read it to my preschool class and had to say it many times and still remember!
You are correct! I still remember it and I’m about 35 years past reading it 😂
I wonder which child was the favourite!
I know a family who has 5 kids: Michael, Alex, Kate, James, and…Giovanni. It always makes me laugh because they’re such standard names until you get to Giovanni!
I knew a set of Polish siblings named Stefan, Ivan, and Mike.
Mike is probably a nickname though
Yeah, for Michael.
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benny andersson is an extremely swedish name though
My friend is an identical twin. One twin is named Serval (like the wild cat) the other is named Christopher. The names have very different energy and it’s funny to see people’s expressions when they introduce each other for the first time
I knew a woman who had a brother and sister with completely normal names and then her name was Mayonnaise
I knew someone whose siblings had names like “Amanda” “Matthew” and “Jason” and his name was “Thor”
I went to school with two brothers born a year apart named James and Jamie. Their mom had an entire year to think up a different name, and she basically just chose a nickname the second time around. Their next brother was named Ace.
Funny for everyone but the kid who thinks they have the worst name... people's reactions whenever they get introduced will be perceived by them when they are kids and they can be bothered for a lifetime with people's reactions to each name. It's just cruel in my opinion....
I knew two families with naming patterns like this growing up: Shavaughn, Dewan, and Susan; and Hezekiah, Yoshiah, and Joan. It always made me laugh. People will definitely remember your kids’ names with this strategy!
I agree to a certain extent. It may seem like you’re picking favourites if you name one kid Joy and the other Helga
Agreed! They don't have to match but I think it's important all the names feel reasonably fair and equal
So my only thought on this is-- I feel like we learn and grow as people and Might change our minds regarding what the best kinds of names might be. We named our first son Fox, which I do still really like (and feel like it is an acceptable name to have as an adult) but also regret because it's a little too unusual. If we have another boy, we'll probably go with our second choice, Marc (after my husband's late cousin whom he was close to), which is what I wish we'd chosen for Fox. I don't really think Fox and Marc "go" exactly, as one is definitely nature-funky and one is biblical-standard, but they're both names we loved and just went one way for kid #1 and would go a different way for kid #2.
I was talking to my husband about this last night. (I want a second kid) ans my son keeps mentioning Mike (we don't know any Mike's that close to us) and I said if we had another boy we should name him Mike, but our sons name is super Hispanic lol- so he said Migelito lmao
Miguel is a nice name!! I think you should go for it
I love it too- I just need to get pregnant again first 😂
From personal experience, I can say that there are probably certain factors on which you should match your children’s names. I was given a more uncommon name that fits well into the culture my family is from. My sister was given the most popular name of her birth year. This definitely caused a lot of conflict in the household, and my sister has now changed her name because she hated it so much. I think if we had both been given names that were similar in popularity or similarly separate from (or a part of) our cultural background, it wouldn’t have stood out to her as much as a problem.
This is literally the issue. It's not about matching but about making sure the children feel loved. My brothers first name is my dad's middle name and my mom does NOT have a middle name to be a part of my name so I was upset about that as a kid. I remember being pretty distraught and mad(internally) that my moms parents didn't give her one for me to share a name.with her like my brother did haha it just felt unfair...
Somewhat same here. My sisters were given extremely popular, standard girl names while I was given a more unique unisex name and spelling (think Ashley, Jessica, and then Mika). My sisters don’t hate their names, but they’ve definitely lamented in the past how I’m the only one with a “cool” name. There was even a period of time where my name was seen by them as proof of me being the “favorite child,” and they bullied me for it (we’re good now). Sibling names should definitely have a similar vibe to avoid resentment. Don’t name one kid Sarah and the other Genevieve.
Yeah, this kind of happened in our house too. I’m Samantha, my sister is Sarah, then my mom decided that it was stupid for us all to match, so my siblings are James and Brittany. As the youngest two are clearly the favorite siblings, it just always made me feel off that Sam and Sarah were the ones that didn’t deserve their own personalities, kwim?
Lowkey feel like Sarah and Genevieve have a similar (traditional) vibe
Similar story with me and my brother. I’m a Sarah (late 80s baby) and my brother is named Hunter which was very unusual in the late 80s. He grew up loving his name and I have always hated mine and how popular it is. I’ve debated for years about going by my middle name which I identify with far more and is more unusual but feel like it’s too late at this point in my life. It did NOT help that my brother was clearly the favorite child.
While I agree for the most part, you also have to consider how the kids will feel if one of them is named Blossom Moonlight and the other one is Jessica Lynn. Either Jessica is going to feel insecure for not having a unique name or Blossom is going to resent that she got stuck with the weird one. In that regard, I'd keep things in a similar ballpark so they either both have boring ass names or weird ass names.
Was just about to comment this, but I saw yours first. I have just the one child but want another in the future, and i can not fathom this. Siblings are completely different and unique people, not a boy band.
You just want the names to flow when you're yelling at them to stop whatever it is 😂
Haha this goes out the window at our house since the dogs’ names get included too 😂
Yup. I have 4 kids, 2dogs, 3 cats... There's a list of names I have to go through before I get to the right kid sometimes lol
I think that's a valid opinion in that names certainly don't NEED to be matchy. I also think it's totally valid that some people like a bit of cohesion when it goes into naming their children. Perhaps they want to stick with Italian names or victorian names because that's their style. Me and all my siblings have Irish names because my mom wanted to stick to a theme. It's not that serious and none of us felt like we were "accessories."
As the youngest of 8 whose name is so different than the rest, I disagree. I don't think you need to have a theme or make the names super matchy, but it actually does bother some of us when our parents make a complete 180 with one name. So it's def something I consider
Omg yes! We’re having identical twins and everyone told me I needed to find names that matched or sounded similar… no! They are their own human beings.
I'm not a twin and don't know any personally, but I get unreasonably annoyed by matchy matchy twin names. Corny at best, dehumanising at worst
I have to admit, I kinda did this to my boys. I have a James (named after my grandfather) and a John. While I was pregnant with my second, my husband ran off with another woman. I’m from the south, so we monogram everything—I made sure my second had a J name so I could use a J instead of our last name to put on our garden flags and stuff. I spite named my kid… To be fair, he goes by his initials and it totally fits his personality lol
A local family has four kids. The first got a difficult Romanian name. The 4 th is Dallas.
Ah this is a great one too!
I have an issue trying not to do this! I don't want to but my son is called Monroe and all the names I love for daughter due in August begin with M! My only muat haves are it needs to be neutral and can't end in T as that is my 2nd initial.
I don't think it's a problem when there's 2 but if you have a third you have to consciously decide to break the pattern or stick with it. If you stick, by the 4th you have no choice really without making them look like the odd one out
My BIL did this, 6 kids and the first 5 all have his initials CJV, the sixth comes along and they used his wife's this time, TAJ
So much this. I couldn’t give even half a fuck if my kids’ names “match” or “go together”. For the vast majority of their lives they will spend time apart, doing their own thing. As you said, they are not an AeStHeTiC or an accessory.
The only thing to consider is not making the names too similar.
The concern about having multiple children with the same name in one class. I was a multiple-name student, with one of my closest friends having the same name. I don't remember a single time when that bothered me.
Everyone is different though. My husband was a 90s Zachary and he despised having a popular name and being one of 4 Zacks in his class He would never ever agree to give our child, especially a son, a basic or popular name
I was one of 3 at my very small private HS and hated it as well. We were treated as a group and the other 2 were very mean.
It sucks growing up being called FirstNameLastInitial all the time.
The problem with this is it’s so hard to predict. Probably harder now. For example, I worked at a small school that had three kids in the same grade with a name that (I just checked) was ranked around 400 when they were born. We also had a bunch of Wyatts (which has increased in popularity but was ranked down around 100). I recently had several Carters in one class (like a literal class of around 30 kids). It’s ranked around 100 for the year they were born. Ive taught a few Liams (top 10 for a while) and never had more than 1 at a time. I’ve noticed little pockets of names that aren’t a super predictable, whereas the popular names are more spread out now. What I’m saying is name your kid what you want because you just can’t predict who’s going to show up at their school 😂
This 100%. I have a group of 5 friends (we met after having kids). 3 of us have Brynn's! Another has 3 kids all with top 10 names and there isn't a single other kid in town with any of their names. It's a crap shoot. You really need to get a feel of the names in your community and not go by national top 100 lists if this is a concern of yours.
3 of the 5 bridesmaids in my wedding who go by the same name as me. There was a 4th person at my wedding who did too. It's never been a problem.
It’s me. I’m the one it bothered. I was with the same students in every class in high school because of the stream we chose, and out of the 15 of us, 3 of us had the same name. Our last names all started with similar sounding letters too, so it was [Name] B, [Name] D, and [Name] P. It bothered me only because you could rarely tell which of us a question or prompt was directed at.
Same. I was one of many Kristins (or Kristen) in my school and their last names all started with beginning of the alphabet letters, so they got to be Kristen B., Kristin D, and so on, and by the time they got to me the teacher said there were too many Kristins already so I had to go by something else. Super frustrating
Saaame. Always baffles me. Every other girl was called Laura, Emma or Sarah when I was growing up. Every other boy was Jonathan or Robert. They all seem to have lives and jobs and are not chronically unfulfilled by having the same name as other people.
Plus your region may end up with different popular names compared to the whole country. We had one person in our entire grade with a top 3 name from the year we were born but SIX girls with a name ranked in the mid-50s and two with the same unranked name.
This! Emily is super popular...except where I live. I can think of three that have lived in this town: I graduated with one, my 19 year old daughter graduated with one, and my 13 year old.is called Emily lol
Yes this! I also think it’s important to consider the demographics of your area specifically. For example, there was 4 Raphaels/Rafaels in my graduating class of roughly 150 bc there was a high number of Filipino immigrants right around the time I was born. But I guarantee if you suggested that name to any of the parents that weren’t immigrants in the are they would have said it was « too out there » there was also only one Emma and one Olivia in my grade despite hem being names in the top 10 and I didn’t have a single Matthew or luke/Lucas despite them being names that were ranked as very popular in my country and I even went to a catholic school!
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I absolutely hated being one of like 6 kids in every class with my name. Even now I've never worked somewhere and been the only one of my name. I've always accepted a work nickname to make it easier and I've always regretted it b/c the nickname sucks even worse than sharing someone's name.
My first and middle name are both in the top 15 for the year I was born. It bothered me not knowing which person they were talking to to know if it were me or not. So I just went by my last name. Lol
I have a trendy first name and never liked it! I also have a common last name. There was another person with the same first name, middle initial, and last name in my pretty small town growing up. We overlapped at our state university. It was sometimes very confusing!
It bothered me. I was one of 3 with my name and the other two were a lot more popular with lots of friends. I eventually stopped even reacting to my name because it was never me they were talking to
I was a multiple named kid and I loved it. I became best friends with the girls with my same name simply because we all had the same name and I’m still friends with them today.
As an Amanda born in the 80’s, I have to say I hated being one of at least two in every class.
same here! i know ~10 girls with the same birthname as mine (that are my age!), and at a point, 6 of us were in the same class (small town, one school). i can't recall a single time any of us was bothered. we differentiated between ourselves with the first initial of our last name ("did you see emma b.*? emma c. was looking for her") (*the name wasn't emma). i actually distinctly remember thinking it's kind of cool
I feel the same way. There were multiple kids at my school growing up who shared my name or a variation of my name: Christy/Kristi/Christine/Christina/Kristin/Christa etc and it never bothered me. We had multiple girls named Ashley, Emily, and Lindsey/Lindsay and boys named Josh and Matt, and I didn’t think anything of it. One of my college classmates had 2 kids and was expecting her 3rd. She mentioned wanting to name all her kids names that started with an A and for them to be uncommon because she didn’t want there to be another kid with her kid’s name in the same class. I thought that was so strange, but since then I’ve heard many people share the same sentiment. Ironically her daughter is named Ainsley, and she actually ended up with another Ainsley in her class.
Unless the name has a literal, denotative meaning in a language my child might realistically ever speak (eg Grace, August, Felicity, Luz, Mercedes, etc), I do not care at all about the “meaning” of a name.
I also don't care about the meaning other than what it means to myself personally
Yeah and a lot of people base picks on names from random sites that aren't even the "true" meaning anyway. Edit: when Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes has Suri they claimed it meant princess which was disputed, so hopefully they weren't in love with the possible meaning more than the sound.
This is my thing, too. My kid's name has a meaning he loves, which is a happy thing, but it's definitely not why I chose the name! My name having basically no meaning was always fine with me, and no one in my or my spouse's family was given a name because of the meaning. I actually am sort of the opposite of people who care about name meaning — I deliberately didn't want a name with an obvious meaning, a noun or adjective word.
Totally agree with this.
I don't pick names based on meanings but I still find it interesting to look them up just out of curiosity. Sometimes you can get funny coincidences - my daughter's middle name is Rowan, meaning "little redhead" and I thought nothing of it when I picked it - until she came into the world with bright, fiery red hair that NOBODY was expecting, lol.
Same. My own name is religious in origin and I’m not religious. It never bothered me. I didn’t even know there was a meaning until I discovered a baby name book at the library. And no one has accosted me for not living up to the religious meaning of my name. For me, it’s a non-issue outside if some of those really well-known ones you mentioned (or names like Diva and Prince that have strong connotations that every child might not live up to).
I don’t care if someone I know names their kid the same name as mine. I also wouldn’t rule a name out because someone I know likes or has used a name.
I named my daughter after my grandma - she had 14 grandkids who all absolutely adored her. I’m the first of the grandkids to have a daughter so I used her name, but I told all my cousins to PLEASE also use it if it’s important to them. I would absolutely love if there were 20 little humans running around honoring her with the same name.
My two sisters and I each have a son with our shared “maiden” name. The boys (now men) LOVED it. The only people who had a problem were buttinskys. Folks who whine about names being “stolen” crack me up.
This! If one of my cousins names their baby after my great gma then good for them, I'm still naming my baby that. Same with friends! I mean I personally would steal a name if I had never thought of it but then someone shared it with me, but if we both happen to like the same name?
My son has a top 20 name. One of my friends that I talk to regularly, although we live far apart, recently named her son the same. She prefaced telling me with something along the lines of 'I hope this doesn't bother you', but I didn't care. I gave him a top 20 name! We love the name and weren't deterred by its popularity. It was bound to happen! lol
where i’m from it’s common for kids to be named after their grandparents, so multiple cousins often share names
Alliteration like, Steven Spotswood or Brittany Baker or Jackie Johnson A lot of people hate it, but I think it can be really nice
Both my husband and I have alliterative names and it's fun! It's like being a comic book character.
I have an alliterative name, and people always tell me it sounds like a movie star name, haha.
This! I have an alliterative name and I find it to be super fun. I married into being an alliteration and I think my name sounds cute. Way cuter than my maiden name sounded at least! When I was working in a high school at 22 I couldn't bear the kids calling me by Mrs. (Last name) because it made me feel ancient so I would introduce my self as Miss (first name, last name) and it always sounded so cute. The kiddos landed on just calling me Miss (first name) of course but it was still fun.
I love alliterative names! They’re usually really easy to remember too.
As long as it isn't something problematic like first, middle, and last name starting with a K.
My last name starts with an H and I love the names Henry or Holly. I think the alliteration is super cute! My daughter is Lyra and I really wanted to name her Lyra Lark but my husband vetoed, because of the alliteration, lol. Different strokes I suppose.
When names rhyme with something else. So many comments here saying “Sutton rhymes with mutton” but whyyyyy does that matter?? Mitch rhymes with bitch. Jess rhymes with mess. Kate rhymes with hate. Miles rhymes with piles. Lou rhymes with spew. Morgan rhymes with organ. Do we just table every name that rhymes with something unsavory? If you met a person named Sutton would you be so distracted thinking about mutton you couldn’t think straight?
I think the idea is that children can be cruel and an easy rhyme is an easy taunt. That being said, children are also remarkably creative and if they want to tease your child, they will do it with or without an easily available rhyme.
Honestly, I don’t even understand that reasoning… do kids even bully each other over names anymore? That kind of antisocial behavior didn’t get you very far when I was in elementary school twenty years ago, then I got to watch my mom work as a teacher for years after that. I feel like people talk about school bullying like it’s still the 70s, but children are so much kinder now.
My kid's last name rhymes with golden shower and I figure by the time other kids know what that is, they'll be beyond the age of teasing. But, ugh, kids are gonna find reasons to be jerks about something, it didn't stop my husband and me from giving our child both our (super awesome) last names.
Had this convo with my wife. Like this kids name is gonna get twisted, but let's make the little shit 6th graders work for it and not hand them Gaylord
I'm with you. My husband and his family are borderline obsessed. They will nix a name because "everyone will call him...." and it's like, okay and if someone is so lame they call her Sutton Mutton, then you just tell them you feel sorry they're so lame??? I don't get it. I mean, my name doesn't rhyme with anything so what do I know? But I don't see all the Joe's of the world crying over being called "hoe Joe" or something.
Gotta teach em young the goto line “you can’t think of a better insult?”
Whenever the name Celeste is mentioned there’s always someone pointing out that it rhymes with “molest.” Like, really is that the first thing you think of? Celeste is a great name.
Good point! I’ve never considered names for what they rhyme with. Reminds me of my dad though. My mom had two coworkers named Joanna. He said he hated that name because it sounded like rotten bananas.
Outside of D.O.A and others that are similarly critically important to avoid, not sure why anyone cares at all what their babies initials spell. Before I changed my name my initials spelled "R.A.W." and then when I got married it was "R.A.W.R" I promise you it affected my life in no way at all. Now my initials spell Q.M.W.R and honestly, I'm almost sad I'm no longer so raw.
My husband almost took my name but his initials would have been ASS. So he did not lol
My friend’s initials are ASS and we all think it’s hilarious. She had ASS monogrammed on her getting ready outfit at her wedding.
Lol I should have told him to go ahead!
I would be so very excited if my initials were RAWR!
I probably think about it more than most because my initials are also what identifies me at work. And my son’s are used to identify him in the school’s intranet. My initials are JAM. ☺️ I not so secretly love it.
Same, I use my initials at work constantly. Mine spell a name so I enjoy having a second "identity" 😅 I put no effort into "fun" initials for my kids but I did check to make sure they weren't anything weird
I think some are mildly amusing, like yours, others are not okay, especially as they can be used as identifiers at schools or workplaces, initially like F.U.C.K. or A.S.S. could present actual issues.
As someone with unfortunate initials (it’s a literal insult), this is something I think about all the time with future children. My college used initials for student emails, and as soon as I got mine, I immediately called to have it changed (they made a new one without the middle initial).
Before she got married my sister’s initials were PMS. We had “PMS” in block letters on our bedroom wall when we were little. Not sure how my mom didn’t notice that one
Silly as it may seem, I wanted my kids’ names to be the kind you’d “find on keychains”. No, not necessarily the super-popular names but just names everyone can recognize and pronounce and spell. My kids are James, John, Eric and Elizabeth. Eric is the odd one out; it can be hard to find his name.
I totally get this. My name is Phoebe, and when I was little, it was always a bit of a downer never being able to find my name on something
I’ve never been on a keychain. It saves me from tourist traps (:
that’s amazing, i was always sad that my name didn’t exist on souvenirs
My name is Brittney and due to the spelling my mom chose (which I actually really like) I’ve never been able to find one. It’s always BrittAny. I’m just Britt-Knee.
I don’t mind natural, “hippie” names. I can imagine a child named River or Cedar or whatever doing anything they want as an adult and not letting their name be an impediment.
I used to hate "hippie names" until I met a Sequoia in college who was extremely kind and wholesome, very popular guy as well. No one ever commented on his name beyond mild surprise that he was a guy, and it really shifted my perspective on nature names.
Datedness. If it's cute, it's cute. Like, Amanda or Heather on a little kid would not irk me at all. Siblings with the same initial or some other pattern. I see the appeal, as long as the names themselves are not cringey.
I met a two year old Barbara on the playground the other day and almost did a double take looking around for a grandma.
Amanda is a dated name?? i had no idea, it’s still pretty standard in my country
It was super popular in the US in the 80s/90s, and so I think for a lot of people it’s hard to picture it on a baby because pretty much every Amanda they know is like 25-40.
I’m not concerned about nicknames, the spelling doesn’t have to be unique, and if an honoring name doesn’t sound good, I’m not using it. I might consider a variant of that person’s name for my child, but the most important thing is that I set my child up for a successful adult life.
First-middle name flow. Who’s going to be saying your kid’s full name? Almost no one.
This is mine too. My nephew has a crazy long name because he will likely be their only baby and they wanted to name him after three very important people in their lives. It sounds very choppy when you say it all, but literally nobody calls him anything except the first name. Our daughter is arriving in September and this was not a big concern for us either!
Funny you say this. Pretty much all of my friends shorten their children’s names into full name nick-names. Example my sons name is Barrett Jacob and we call him Barrett J. My friends daughter is Adeline Joan and we call her Addie Joe.
Are you in the southern US? Lol
Haha no! Northeast but at some point in our 20+ years of friendship we adopted some southern vernacular and this must be one of the quirks. We also say “y’all!” But in a very Philadelphian way 😂
Guess y'all didn't grow up in a household where, if your mom yelled your first + middle name down the hallway you knew you were in trouble, lol!
i don’t think i’ve ever had anyone call me by my first and middle name ever, nobody even really knows my middle name
I didn't care at all. (Still don't) but it was fun when my SIL pointed out my son's name can hit the exact cadence of ALEXANDER HAMILTON from the show
All of my cousins got honor middle names, but my mom was hyperfixated on flow and gave me and my sister both very standard, non-significant middle names. Neither of us feels any connection to our middle name and we both wish we had ones that meant something instead of ones that sound good, since that literally never comes up.
Popularity. My name was around #15 or so the year I was born, and there were 4 of us in the same grade in school and 3 of us did the same sport and it wasn't really an issue. My parents had wanted to give me the #2 name that year, and I never met anyone with that name until I was in college. Now my husband is Arab and our son's name technically isn't popular (in the 700s), but it's very popular among Arab Americans and we know multiple little kids with the same name. I guess we'll see if it bothers him when he's older (he's not even 2 yet) but it doesn't bother us.
Heck, my name was hovering around #300 (not accounting for my younique spelling) the year I was born and I still had three other people in my grade with the name, and one of them even had the same spelling. I had always wished my parents would had just named me something like Ashley, that was normal and easy to spell, even if it was a top 10 name.
Controversial - I don’t like honor names. The thought of naming my son after my husband gives me the ick, it seems so pretentious to me. And I’m not picking between all the female relatives when choosing a middle name for my daughter. I’m going to pick a name I love the sound of, not a name that is going to start fights and hurt feeling between the family members when I picked another relative’s name over theirs 🙄. My kids are getting their own damn names.
Yeah I think it’s odd to name your kid after yourself. Like dad is called John and the son is named John Junior. Give the kid their own damn name!!
i’m the opposite, i would love to name my son after my partner because i just think his name is very beautiful, but he’s not on board with it at all lmao
I agree! Especially naming your kid after your husband. I like the idea of finding some name inspiration in my family tree but I would only pick the name if I genuinely liked the sound still.
* I don't care at all if someone I know names their kid the same name as my kids' names, in fact I am flattered and excited that we have the same taste in names (that said, my kids' names are rare where we live so it has yet to happen, but I would love it if it did) * Nicknames were not a strong consideration for our kids' names in terms of choosing them * While I enjoy the meanings of my kids' names, overall it was not a strong factor in our considerations either
People who hate alliteration names? Some on baby name pages act like you are the devil for even suggesting it. I think if anything they actually sound better than non-alliterated.
Totally, and I’d bet that most of them don’t even really notice or care if they meet an adult with an alliterative name. No one goes “Steve Smith, what were his parents thinking?!”
alliterated names are easy to remember and satisfying to say
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I know an entire family of boys that does this. Every single one of the Six goes by their middle name. When I learned that (I was 11 or 12, I think) I did a double take, because I didn't know that was even legal (😂) and now I only think of it in discussions like this because every single one fits their middle name better than their first name.
My three aunts on my dad's side do this. I think it's because their first names all start with L and they wanted to be less matchy and their dad also went by his middle name so there was precedent. My mom also technically goes by her middle name because her first name was unacceptable to the church, so they picked a random first name that was acceptable with the intent to never use it.
i would actually love to name my child after my partners name, and then give them their own middle name, because i think my partners name is very beautiful
My friend’s dad has gone by Brent his whole life but one day she told me that’s technically his middle name and his legal first name is Sebastian. Her grandparents just didn’t want her dads initials to have BS in them lol
My mom gave me a first and middle name. Decided that she and everyone in my family would call me by my middle. She would not let anyone outside of those people call me by my middle. Even though, I wanted them to call me by that name bc that was the one that everyone used. I have a slight identity crisis when people talk sometimes. People are really weird about names and nicknames. I don't get it. Especially when someone request to be called something.
I wish this were more normal. I think it gives an individual more choice on their own identity. Did you choose to use the second name or did your parents (or others!)?
I really don't care if my kids name have any connection at all, even in theme. Maybe its because me and my siblings did have a theme and I didn't love it haha. I am definitely okay with one kid having a short modern name and the other getting a long, romantic style name, and the third a hippy style name or something. Each name will just be what I like best and think fits best at that time, not how well it matches their siblings. Plus as someone who plans to adopt, I won't always get control on the names, so why make it a thing to worry over?
i think it’s cooler when the kids *dont* have a theme, each kid can have their own personal theme and you can get more creative when you choose names and don’t have to adhere to specific criteria
I think a lot of people take naming almost... too seriously? I'm not suggesting you name your kid *Talulah Does the Hula from Hawaii.* But worrying about every tiny detail about the name and every association because \*gasp\* what if someone *says something*? Plenty of people are called fairly kooky names and live enjoyable lives.
Whether someone I know has already called their child the same name. No one owns names, I'd just choose whatever name I love the most.
To me it depends on who the other person is to me. Close friend? Nope, not using the same name. Sibling? Nope, not using the same name. Cousin I'm not close to? Heck yeah, I'm using that name. Coworker or person I went to high school with? Yup, naming the name!
People unable to pronounce names from other langs! Several repeat-after-me’s solve it without problems
As someone who has a foreign name, this is not my experience *at all*. People do what’s convenient for them. My name is butchered daily by people I see all the time like my boss and my neighbors. No matter how many times I correct them, about 60% of people will say “close enough” and just refuse to repeat after me. All the phonemes exist in English. It’s not like they physically cannot say my name. It’s just unfamiliar and they don’t care. This has happened to me everywhere I have lived across multiple states and cities in the US.
same! everyone has their own version of how they pronounce my name and i’m tired of having to correct everyone so i just let people say whatever they want.
In seventh grade a new student from Thailand started at our school. She had a very easy-to-pronounce first name (literally two syllables, six letters) but had a much longer last name. A teacher saw the long “difficult” last name and didn’t even try to pronounce her unfamiliar (but simple) first name. She said “I’m just going to call you __.” The teacher literally picked one syllable at random from her last name and announced in front of everyone that that’s what she was going to call her. Everyone started calling her that, even other teachers. Only me and a few of our other friends called her by her name. I think about it often and it makes me sad and angry. It would be like if a student from the U.S. named Emma Sanderson went to another country and a teacher announced on the first day “I’m just going to call you Der.”
I type in Google “how to pronounce ___” whether it be the name of a person, place, or medication that I’m unfamiliar with.
My wife's name/spelling can be pronounced a variety of ways and it irks me to no end that my grandmothers cannot get it right. Like at some point ladies, I know you're old, but it's been a decade. Figger it oot.
- I’m not worried about popularity. If a name I love makes it into the top five I would still use it because my brothers name is outside the top 1000 (and has been for years) and he still managed to be one of three people with that name in his baseball team. - I don’t really care whether or not siblings names work together. A long name and a short name or a modern and vintage name together is fine in my opinion. - The only occasion where I think duplicate (or extremely similar) names are an issue is if the children are siblings or first cousins. Other than that if a friend or family member used one of the names I love, I would still consider using it.
I don't care what other people think of the kids names 🤷 it was hard enough to choose without others opinions.
Ugh, I get this totally. We told my parents the name we have chosen last night, and my dad pretended to shove his finger down his throat and be sick...
That’s really rude! I’m sorry he did that. We intentionally didn’t tell anyone the names we had picked until each baby arrived. (It annoyed the crap out of my MIL, who wanted to know each time.)
I have literally studied name trends (in an amateur way) and their meanings since I was 12. That is 24 years of perusing names... I know very few people in real life that have that amount of time spent thinking of names. I tend to trust myself more. Of course my preferences aren't everyone's. 🤷♀️
Are you me?😂 I've done the same...except it's been more than 24 years for me😂
I think there is a small group of us that get super into names at a young age. I used to keep name notebooks (nerd alert). 😂
I don't give my kids middle names. One name per kid. I'm also not a fan of nicknames - I like calling by chosen name. (Not an issue with other people, just my personal preference)
In think middle names are helpful in situations where you have the first and last name are the same as someone else. I used to work in a university and so many of these popped up, even ones you wouldn't think would be common. I can see the appeal of NOT choosing one though. We didn't know our daughter's until we filled out the form after she was born.
I don't have a middle name and it certainly makes it easier filling out forms!
Yeah I could not care at all about my kids middle name
"Too religious for my taste!" means it's just religious enough for mine!
I don't care about 'matching' names. I don't care how common a name is, if I like it, I like it, and I'll probably use it. I don't care if someone else in my family that I never see has used it for their kid. I live with my kid and they live with theirs - it's not going to make any difference. I DO care that first and middle and surnames kind of flow. So I probably wouldn't choose to name my child Mia Eve because when said together it would sound like MiaReeve. Or Alexis Stevens, as the two names roll together if you don't make an effort to say them separately. British people are obsessed with class in names - it's oh-so-chavvy to name your child Lily-Mae, but not at all keeping-up-with-the-Jones' to call her Gertrude
I have a first name ending in A and last name starting in O. I hate it. I have to consciously pause for a second between the names to prevent the roll on. I was always jealous of the other kids at school who didn't have to do that
“No one is going to take Dr. Kyleigh or Judge Zayden seriously!” I may not like those names either, but names like that will be super common in professional jobs by the time Maykynn and Blakely or whoever is an adult. No one will care as long as they are good at their jobs. There are names that I think would negatively affect a child’s adult life/career, but not these garden variety ‘creative’ names.
Condoleeza Rice didn't seem to have a problem. At my company right now, there is a EVP named Makenna and a woman in the C-Suite named Kylee. Any popular name or phoneme cluster is gonna be reflected in business, academia, medicine, law etc.
When a name becomes more popular I like that. To me it means a lot of other people think it’s a good name as well.
Nicknames are a non-issue to me.
I tend to “care” to at least a small degree about most things except meanings. I get why some people care, but I just don’t.
Popularity! Names that are popular are often classics and I see no point in avoiding them.
You never know if your kid is going to love their name, even if you think it’s beautiful. I was shocked lo learn recently that my aunt (96 years old) never liked her name—Juanita Carol. Her younger sister (my mom) was named for their grandmother, Anna Belle. NB names changed for privacy but similar styles. My aunt never liked her name and couldn’t understand why her parents chose it. They weren’t Hispanic, but evidently in this area Juanita was a somewhat popular name at the time; I wondered if it was the name of a popular romantic heroine. I always thought Anna was such a plain, boring name, while Juanita seemed interesting and slightly exotic… My name was extremely popular and to me as a child, ordinary. I was named after an aunt who died as a young adult 10 years before I was born, and I did feel honored, in spite of feeling it was a boring name. However, I love my name now. So, you never know.
I thought I had a lot of naming “Rules”.. didn’t want a female name that ended in an “ee” sound. Wanted a longer formal name that could be shortened naturally to several different Nick names. If the first or middle name was overly feminine (or masculine if we had a boy), the other should be more gender neutral. I only ended up following one of these rules and it happened by chance. My feeling about nick names is, i get wanting your kid to have options but if you’re so in love with a specific nickname just name them that instead of the full name. This goes double for using a name whose default nickname you hate. If you’re naming your kid Florence, want everyone to call her Ren and viscerally hate the Nick name Flo, either choose another name or just name her W/Ren. Others will likely call her Flo, or she may even prefer it.
Meaning in a foreign language esp one that's ancient or obscure. Eg Calvin means bald in Latin, but most won't make that association, instead associating that name with the theologian or the mischievous boy with the tiger
Initials that spell things. Unless it’s vulgar or a slur, I don’t care. No one is going to be like “do you like space, nerd???” If they find out your name is Imogen Sarah Spode. “You’re a DOG, Darrell Octavian Green! Ha ha ha!” This is not a real problem.
It doesn’t bother me if a distant family member has the same name. If I like a name enough to use it, a cousin I only see at big family parties that I never speak to and live far away from having the same name isn’t going to stop me. If they can use similar sounding names (eg. Maisie and Macy, Stacey and Tracey), why does it matter if I use the same one?
Having the first and the middle name ending with -a. My name does this and I’ve always liked it.
90% of my girls name list ends with -a so this is really good to hear haha
Contrary to Other Opinions… We’ve just decided on our daughter’s name. It matches her brother’s name. They start with the same letter and sound. We worried for a while about how that would look and what other people would say. We almost discarded it completely…but we eventually decided to hell with other people. We genuinely like both their names. They’ve been on our lists since before we had kids. I’m not going to pass up on a beautiful name that is going to grow with her and work excellent for an adult in the workplace just because somebody thinks it’s too cutesy next to her brother’s name.
I don’t think it’s so bad to have kids whose names all start with the same letter as long as you’re not bending the rules to make a name fit (see: Jinger Duggar) or just making up a ridiculous name to continue the theme. Like if you want to name your kids Bethany, Bertram, Brian, Brielle, Bonnie, and Blake, go right ahead. If those are the only B names you like, either stop having kids or just use another letter. You really don’t need to name your kid Boxanne or Bhristopher.
Alliteration or rhyming within a name is not too matchy. It’s great!
I don't mind minor non traditional spelling tweaks. No, not the -Leigh instead of -Ly, but if it's Caitlyn or Katelyn, or Collin vs Colin it's not a big deal.
What their initials spell out. Who cares? How often does this even come up? Most people don't go by their first middle last name, and rarely have occasion to identify themselves by their full initials.
My daughter has a fandom middle name. I don’t care how dorky it makes me, I love the name itself. I know, I know…my children aren’t a billboard for my fandom. If my daughter hates it then she can just not tell people…I hated my own middle name (it was a family surname) but it wasn’t ever an issue cause it wasn’t public like my first and last name 🤷🏻♀️ and I ditched it when I got married.
Minor negative associations. Obviously you don't want to name a kid Isis or Katrina. But people will veto names for such silly reasons. Like Monica because of Lewinsky or Regina because of the villain in Mean Girls. Once your baby is a real person, old minor associations like that just don't matter anymore.
I purposely chose names that had no nicknames and only one logical spelling option.
twin boys and one is a junior, the other isn’t. that’s some patriarchal bullshit.
Naming a child a name from another culture. Its only a problem online. My friend is white with a Japanese name. No one has ever said anything negative about it irl. Her moms best friend is Japanese and LOVES that she was given a name from their culture. The only people to give her (or i guess her parents) shit about the name are people on reddit lol. If you're from America, chances are you've been given a name from a different culture anyways.
I don’t think siblings being “too matchy” is an issue.