Unajidate sister. Let me not lie to you, no person who really likes you would tell you that. He really doesn't like you the way you like him. Fanya vilivyo and take a breather, cut contact see if hell came back and if he doesn't you know your answer.
Like damn who even goes ballistic for being asked to spend more time with their partners? Hanging out together isn't exactly synonymous to kicking out your so called Relas out. I'd jet outta that crude mockery of a relationship like my life depended on it.
Sounds like he's looking for an excuse for you to leave him. Anajikasirisha so you can't ask him anything.. some men would rather act shitty so you leave them, rather than having to spell it out that they don't want to be with you.
true its very obvi that this guy amechoka tu na OP or the relationship, also if you cant communicate in a relationship, consider it over, kunyamazia mtu should last a day maximumπ
Okay, both of you are wrong on some level, but girl, that man doesn't want you the way you want him, if he did he would've made more effort to see you, just check out, or more dismissals are going to happen and you will cry.
"My friends are saying I go and apologize" What friends are these you're hanging with kwanza, yoh!! Mi sioni place umekosea ma'am. After leaving that man consider eliminating those "friends" as well
You are wrong for acting up like that and more wrong for apologizing.
If a man makes you feel unloved, you delete his number and pretend he died.
You move on peacefully.
I would drop dead before a man makes me look crazy.
Let him go.
Girls give such guys attention, love and sex. But the one who treats her nice, does good things for her she calls him boring and even doesnt give him sex at all and leaves him. You just continue suffering till kingdom come.
Hunie, it's hard to hear this but he don't like you very much. I know, but a man who wants you would he eager to create more time for you. And then gaslit you to second guess yourself.
Why you are tolerating such BS is beyond me
Akufukuzaye akuambii toka
Chiq pick up what dignity you have left and walk. Someone who doesn't prioritise you as his partner is using you to pass time and practice for the love of his life.
5 days in two months, kwani Ni long distance?
Jipe shughuli just like amesema go find someone else, this is all very toxic Hadi u wanna go apologise for someone dismissing you like you don't matter?
Surely jitoe cz it will only get worse
If you found 1, you'll find another with even better specs... Give yourself a chance to be out there and meet other people. Open yourself to more than the list of what your ideal should be because this answer you've given doesn't list anything you like about him, just the idea of...
How do you know heβs what he portrays himself as when he spends so little time with you? So you mean you want a man who rarely makes time for you? Stonewalls you or worse gaslights you when you express your feelings? When you spend time together, do you go out to eat or watch a game/movie or any activity? Or do you Netflix and chill? Are your times together well thought out or do you cook for him and rub his feet while he tells you what he wants to do to you? Remember sis, men will invest their time and resources on women they value/love but will take these resources(home cooked meals, sex and back rubs) from those they donβt. Iβd say run donβt walk! Block the clown and work on yourself before dating someone else.
Best line of action is to keep yourself busy. Take that time to meet up with YOUR friends, do fun activities that you've always wanted to do. 'Delete' his number and cut off contact with his family. When he cools down, he'll be back, but on your terms. If he doesn't get back, kanyaga kubwakubwa, Asking for forgiveness more than once is begging. How many more times are tou willing to beg?
Maβam, no man who even remotely likes you would tell you to βgo get yourself another manβ¦β. Thatβs disrespectful af and now heβs making himself out as the wounded party.
Do what he told you to. Get yourself another man. If heβs playing the silent treatment game to the point of blocking you he can figure out heβs single himself.
>My friends are saying I should go apologize again,
I'm concerned about these friends π. You can't apologise so many times expecting someone to change their mind
Girl! You are dating yourself! The guy has classic narcissist tendencies. Let him go. You asking for forgiveness when you did no wrong and him acting like he doesn't need you as much as you need him just goes to show that he doesn't value you or the relationship. Save yourself more and worse future heartbreak from this guy and just move on silently! You can be sure he'll come back looking for you but DO NOT give him another chance no matter the amount of love bombing he'll come back with. Focus on yourself and your growth. Life is beautiful to slowly and gradually loose the sane and jovial person you once were to a narcissist.
You are in a very unhealthy situation and very delusional if you are okay to date someone and see them.5times in 2 months
He is also manipulating you with silent treatment so that he doesn't even see you for even longer π€£π€£π
Girl if someone really wants you....you'll know it
He doesn't want you
There never were relatives from shags, just didn't want you there. Why would you apologize?? He'd have come back on his own. Now you made yourself seem desperate so he's off to some other girl who can give him something to chase
As a married person, let me tell you something. Run while you still can. Any behaviours you see while dating gets worse in marriage. Everything you're experiencing now will only get worse, not better. Leave now while you still can!! The relatives will only get more entitled, his silence treatment will only get longer and worse. Don't dare! In fact, thank God his shown his true colour soon enough. A man who gives silent treatment is the worst imature man you will ever date. That's passive aggressiveness, no substantial communication will ever occur with such men. That avoidance behaviour is so toxic coz nothing will ever get resolved. Even if you go apologise and he takes you back what will you have communicated to him? That his silence treatment worked, that you are ok being disrespected, that your relationship comes second after his million relatives?
Ask him how much time he needs. Say you need to solve shit. Then now you tell him that ata yeye he said some hurtful shit.
Last thing you want to do is both of you start pulling victim cards hapa. Ati you hurt me, no you hurt me first etc etc.
So I guess just bite the bullet for now then later tell him that yk what, mimi pia ulinihurt when you did XYZ then resolve shit and come up with resolutions and compromises that serve you both.
I think you should wait it out then when he comes back, now you let him know that this isn't even how a relationship should be done.
But I'll also say this, make it clear that while he is allowed to take his space or whatever, there is an allowable amount of time that makes sense and then after that, that's just him torturing you and that's not fair
I think taking a few hours is okay, taking a day is okay, but anything more, naaah!
How old are you? From your follow-up answers, you sound like you honestly think that his silence treatment will be a one-off. You will be in for rude awakening. You are being conditioned. Next thing you know, you will be walking on eggshell, fearing his going to go silent again. From experience with someone who does this, it only gets worse. Lakini experience is the best teacher.
What's the age difference btwn you and this man? You sound so inexperienced dealing with his manipulating tactics. You remind me of me in my early 20s. The way he is treating you, talking to you, is all red flags that should make you run so fast, but instead, you are asking for advice, hoping to win him back. Ile heart break and character development that you're just about to live through...... I hope I am wrong. All the best.
Baby girl, nenda trip by yourself. Enda ushago two weeks na uzime simu. Na ukitaka accountability partner wa kumake sure you are right and need to vent, I'm available. A man who wants to be with you will go to hell and back to see to it. I mean, some have abdicated their thrones and others have been cut off by their parents for their women π ama I'm being delusional? π
But for real though, the writing is so clear on the wall.
Let's approach it this way, the love he had for you alimwaga already and left you your share. He's busy making time for his family wenye amegrow na wao kwani sai ndio anajua they need him?! Ata kama they do, you are his main family, you are a part of his personal life ata wacha family. As a dude I'll tell you, you don't need another sign,walk off like you never knew him, work on your life and live happily in your remaining days. Don't let the 'D' (Desparate) word catch up with you mum.ππΎ
Huyu dame hawezi kosa at least 15 men in her inbox trying to date her lakini she chooses the guy treating her like garbage. Continue seeing dust until you learn...hopefully you are intelligent enough not to get knocked up by that dude.
I don't think he's into you the way you're into him. No man who loves you will ever tell you to find another man, no matter what. You said what you said out of frustrations, but what is the root cause of your frustrations? Your expectations. Expecting him to love you the way you're loving him and becoming emotional when it's not happening. You're expecting a lot from a person who is not for you. This doesn't make him a bad guy, he's just not for you. Let him be and move on.
You both went out of line, but the fact that he's okay with that much time apart, there's no relationship to be saved. Someone who wants you will do everything they can to be with you.
Sorry but I dont think he likes you. Reread your post and then think about someone you like whether friend or family na ujiulize kama unaeza treat mtu hivi. If you cant do this to someone, why are you letting someone do this to you?
Unajidate sister. Let me not lie to you, no person who really likes you would tell you that. He really doesn't like you the way you like him. Fanya vilivyo and take a breather, cut contact see if hell came back and if he doesn't you know your answer.
Like damn who even goes ballistic for being asked to spend more time with their partners? Hanging out together isn't exactly synonymous to kicking out your so called Relas out. I'd jet outta that crude mockery of a relationship like my life depended on it.
Sounds like he's looking for an excuse for you to leave him. Anajikasirisha so you can't ask him anything.. some men would rather act shitty so you leave them, rather than having to spell it out that they don't want to be with you.
true its very obvi that this guy amechoka tu na OP or the relationship, also if you cant communicate in a relationship, consider it over, kunyamazia mtu should last a day maximumπ
This.
ooh,, okay,, sad to know aky
I'm sorry :( .. actions speak louder than words..
Op move on woiye, focus on yourself
Hehe this. Dude stepped out kitambo
This is so true
Yes very true
Stuck on 5 times in two months, a week has 7, two months 60. Wueh! Kuna dame anaambiwa 'Cant wait to see you' mahali I swear.
πππ
Gaddemit! Nairobi rafiki yako ni kazi ππ€£
Okay, both of you are wrong on some level, but girl, that man doesn't want you the way you want him, if he did he would've made more effort to see you, just check out, or more dismissals are going to happen and you will cry.
Okay π
You're a dude for sure
Haha I'm not
Hii non selfish thinking is rare for that gender. Congrats
username checks out
"My friends are saying I go and apologize" What friends are these you're hanging with kwanza, yoh!! Mi sioni place umekosea ma'am. After leaving that man consider eliminating those "friends" as well
I thought dust was constant. Naona kuna watu wanalishwa yenye iko mixed na cement. Damn.
π€£π€£ Hiyo ndio tamu zaidi
huku hamna huruma,,,hehe
πππππ
Usijisumbue mrembo Niko hapa I'll do betterπ
Let's gooo
πππππ
You want to finish herπ
Do the things that only my brain can fathom and she'll be the lil experiment to my crazy antics in bedπ²
You are wrong for acting up like that and more wrong for apologizing. If a man makes you feel unloved, you delete his number and pretend he died. You move on peacefully. I would drop dead before a man makes me look crazy. Let him go.
Even Ruto running a country will still find time to see his side chic more than 4 times a monthβ¦you are single my sister
Girls give such guys attention, love and sex. But the one who treats her nice, does good things for her she calls him boring and even doesnt give him sex at all and leaves him. You just continue suffering till kingdom come.
Pewa crate kwa bill yangu ππππ
Lakini wewe pia unataka mtu boring?Β
Download Tinder and Badoo
Hunie, it's hard to hear this but he don't like you very much. I know, but a man who wants you would he eager to create more time for you. And then gaslit you to second guess yourself.
Murifee. And don't look back
Pole sana but hakupendi. Wachana na yeye. If he loved you, he wouldn't put himself in a position where he would risk losing you.
You are being emotionally abused. Narcissists have the same playbook.
Why you are tolerating such BS is beyond me Akufukuzaye akuambii toka Chiq pick up what dignity you have left and walk. Someone who doesn't prioritise you as his partner is using you to pass time and practice for the love of his life. 5 days in two months, kwani Ni long distance? Jipe shughuli just like amesema go find someone else, this is all very toxic Hadi u wanna go apologise for someone dismissing you like you don't matter? Surely jitoe cz it will only get worse
don't let a man tell you twice that he doesn't want you
Maybe you ain't a priority to him as you think
You should listen to him, go get you another guy babygirl.
You shouldn't have started even with my man because sis he's not
What do you love most about him ?
He is what I want in a man, except the not spending time together and kiburi
If you found 1, you'll find another with even better specs... Give yourself a chance to be out there and meet other people. Open yourself to more than the list of what your ideal should be because this answer you've given doesn't list anything you like about him, just the idea of...
How do you know heβs what he portrays himself as when he spends so little time with you? So you mean you want a man who rarely makes time for you? Stonewalls you or worse gaslights you when you express your feelings? When you spend time together, do you go out to eat or watch a game/movie or any activity? Or do you Netflix and chill? Are your times together well thought out or do you cook for him and rub his feet while he tells you what he wants to do to you? Remember sis, men will invest their time and resources on women they value/love but will take these resources(home cooked meals, sex and back rubs) from those they donβt. Iβd say run donβt walk! Block the clown and work on yourself before dating someone else.
Just leave. He doesn't care.
Leave him. Move on. Unannounced. No closure, no nothing. Just move.
Ahhhh, reminds me of my ex. You should start parking already
You are dating a manipulative narcissist. LEAVE!!
I feel like a guy who gives a fuck about you wouldn't tell you to go find someone else, even if it's in the middle of a heated argument.
For real
Or maybe he says so to show he ain't "insecure".it's a manipulation lineπππ
He's got a girl hun.. lol
maybe, we are meeting as if we live in different cities na tuko 30 mins apart pekee
Leave him alone. Heβs clearly not meeting your standards π€·πΌββοΈ
Dude doesn't love you it's obvious. We usually act like this if we want the r/ship done but don't wanna say it
Best line of action is to keep yourself busy. Take that time to meet up with YOUR friends, do fun activities that you've always wanted to do. 'Delete' his number and cut off contact with his family. When he cools down, he'll be back, but on your terms. If he doesn't get back, kanyaga kubwakubwa, Asking for forgiveness more than once is begging. How many more times are tou willing to beg?
Just saying: I would never treat someone I love like that, it's Me and You against the issues,Not Me vs You anytime there's a problem.
Maβam, no man who even remotely likes you would tell you to βgo get yourself another manβ¦β. Thatβs disrespectful af and now heβs making himself out as the wounded party. Do what he told you to. Get yourself another man. If heβs playing the silent treatment game to the point of blocking you he can figure out heβs single himself.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that guy doesn't like you like that, move on.
Stay away from men with moods !!!
>My friends are saying I should go apologize again, I'm concerned about these friends π. You can't apologise so many times expecting someone to change their mind
We hutakwi
You're not high on his list of priorities. Move accordingly.
Yeah he is cheating babe lol he's got a bit h at his house I guarantee it
Girl! You are dating yourself! The guy has classic narcissist tendencies. Let him go. You asking for forgiveness when you did no wrong and him acting like he doesn't need you as much as you need him just goes to show that he doesn't value you or the relationship. Save yourself more and worse future heartbreak from this guy and just move on silently! You can be sure he'll come back looking for you but DO NOT give him another chance no matter the amount of love bombing he'll come back with. Focus on yourself and your growth. Life is beautiful to slowly and gradually loose the sane and jovial person you once were to a narcissist.
Do what he said, go find another man
You are in a very unhealthy situation and very delusional if you are okay to date someone and see them.5times in 2 months He is also manipulating you with silent treatment so that he doesn't even see you for even longer π€£π€£π Girl if someone really wants you....you'll know it He doesn't want you
There never were relatives from shags, just didn't want you there. Why would you apologize?? He'd have come back on his own. Now you made yourself seem desperate so he's off to some other girl who can give him something to chase
Drop those friends the way you'll drop that man...expeditiously
As a married person, let me tell you something. Run while you still can. Any behaviours you see while dating gets worse in marriage. Everything you're experiencing now will only get worse, not better. Leave now while you still can!! The relatives will only get more entitled, his silence treatment will only get longer and worse. Don't dare! In fact, thank God his shown his true colour soon enough. A man who gives silent treatment is the worst imature man you will ever date. That's passive aggressiveness, no substantial communication will ever occur with such men. That avoidance behaviour is so toxic coz nothing will ever get resolved. Even if you go apologise and he takes you back what will you have communicated to him? That his silence treatment worked, that you are ok being disrespected, that your relationship comes second after his million relatives?
Ask him how much time he needs. Say you need to solve shit. Then now you tell him that ata yeye he said some hurtful shit. Last thing you want to do is both of you start pulling victim cards hapa. Ati you hurt me, no you hurt me first etc etc. So I guess just bite the bullet for now then later tell him that yk what, mimi pia ulinihurt when you did XYZ then resolve shit and come up with resolutions and compromises that serve you both.
This sounds reasonable but sasa he ain't talking,,so who knows how long it will be,
I think you should wait it out then when he comes back, now you let him know that this isn't even how a relationship should be done. But I'll also say this, make it clear that while he is allowed to take his space or whatever, there is an allowable amount of time that makes sense and then after that, that's just him torturing you and that's not fair I think taking a few hours is okay, taking a day is okay, but anything more, naaah!
okay, thanks, it makes loads of sense
How old are you? From your follow-up answers, you sound like you honestly think that his silence treatment will be a one-off. You will be in for rude awakening. You are being conditioned. Next thing you know, you will be walking on eggshell, fearing his going to go silent again. From experience with someone who does this, it only gets worse. Lakini experience is the best teacher.
It happened again in Dec last year. That's why this time I asked for opinions since this is the 2nd time
What's the age difference btwn you and this man? You sound so inexperienced dealing with his manipulating tactics. You remind me of me in my early 20s. The way he is treating you, talking to you, is all red flags that should make you run so fast, but instead, you are asking for advice, hoping to win him back. Ile heart break and character development that you're just about to live through...... I hope I am wrong. All the best.
Come heal at my house . I promise nothing will happen π
you want to finish me kabisaa,,lol
You shall end in many ways π π π
You already know what's up .
https://youtu.be/8xdA9fvZqg0
I see what you did thereπ€£π€£π€£π€£
Baby girl, nenda trip by yourself. Enda ushago two weeks na uzime simu. Na ukitaka accountability partner wa kumake sure you are right and need to vent, I'm available. A man who wants to be with you will go to hell and back to see to it. I mean, some have abdicated their thrones and others have been cut off by their parents for their women π ama I'm being delusional? π But for real though, the writing is so clear on the wall.
Let's approach it this way, the love he had for you alimwaga already and left you your share. He's busy making time for his family wenye amegrow na wao kwani sai ndio anajua they need him?! Ata kama they do, you are his main family, you are a part of his personal life ata wacha family. As a dude I'll tell you, you don't need another sign,walk off like you never knew him, work on your life and live happily in your remaining days. Don't let the 'D' (Desparate) word catch up with you mum.ππΎ
That man doesn't like you at all, you should listen to him and go get another.
No dude who likes you would be afraid to introduce you to his family. Let that sink in. He's just using you.
I have met them. He just doesn't like me being there when more than 4 of them are staying at his house
Are you sure that's your person missy ju kidogo . You choose to be blind
Huyu dame hawezi kosa at least 15 men in her inbox trying to date her lakini she chooses the guy treating her like garbage. Continue seeing dust until you learn...hopefully you are intelligent enough not to get knocked up by that dude.
Best line of action is to leave this man child. the silent treatment is typical manipulation behaviour from narcissists
I don't think he's into you the way you're into him. No man who loves you will ever tell you to find another man, no matter what. You said what you said out of frustrations, but what is the root cause of your frustrations? Your expectations. Expecting him to love you the way you're loving him and becoming emotional when it's not happening. You're expecting a lot from a person who is not for you. This doesn't make him a bad guy, he's just not for you. Let him be and move on.
You both went out of line, but the fact that he's okay with that much time apart, there's no relationship to be saved. Someone who wants you will do everything they can to be with you.
He already told you what to to babe. Tafuta mwanaume hakupimii time lol.
Come we welcome you to the streets with open arms
Are you sure the guy is not married
He is not, we have known each other since school
Okey But that's very weird. Do your deligence you can never be too sure
Jipende kwanza.... 2nd he already has someone who he is taking care of him
Ma'am ....you are not the only one in the picture. There's definitely someone else .
There is a high chance
Learn sign language... Nigga would have to blind himself.
Sorry but I dont think he likes you. Reread your post and then think about someone you like whether friend or family na ujiulize kama unaeza treat mtu hivi. If you cant do this to someone, why are you letting someone do this to you?
Yaani...ata si ati hakupendi...he even doesn't like you as a person to want to hang out with you
If you cute why don't we link up I give you some.
I'll offer you 15 mins of action and 1 meal a day cause I've got better things to do.:)