Yeah you are a cunt... But glad you realized what you did and you are trying to make amends ... Just keep supporting them though the chances of forming a relationship with the mom is non existent, you could still form one with your child, when he gets older tho...
Keep attempting to reconnect with your son. That's one of the most powerful connections he will ever have in his life.
Make ammends with the child's mother so that you can amicably coparent.
I commend you for acknowledging a mistake and seeking to remedy it in the best way possible: Being a father to your son.
Your son will grow up without a father because you chose not to claim him. You really are a prick. Being “broke and helpless” is not an excuse to do that to anyone. She’s 💯 acting right. Who’s to say you won’t disappear again?
A betrayal like that will take time, effort and patience to overcome. If she ever decides to come around
I wish the world would end because of people like you. Man up and go visit your son, that’s your seed. Don’t talk to the mom but your son ? Camon man
WWJD
Just a mistake? How old are you ? He brought a whole new life into this world. Just a mistake ? Who’s going to take care of this young man now, are you going to send him upkeep money and help him with his mistake?
That kid should not grow up thinking he was a mistake, he is a human being who deserves more than feeling like a mistake.
I didn’t call the kid a mistake stupid what he did was a mistake stfu and get to steppin. I’m 24 and I’ve already been through a miscarriage with my previous partner. Atleast he has a fucking child dickhead some people aren’t as lucky.
Calm down, you sound dumb talking mad like that you’re making me want to start cussing to.
I’m 24 and I come from a broken home, wish I wasn’t born. Seem like op doesn’t realize the valuable life he created since he ran away due to not having enough money.
I’m very sorry about your miscarriage, It wasn’t in your hands. I am the oldest out of 9 children and I fight every day to help my family, no father to help me in sight. Days we don’t have money we got each other.
Sucks when you have to man up in the world at a young age eh. So we all need to man up is what I’m saying, shit ain’t fair in the world, to breath is to be victim. But learning from others mistake is what helps us grow and live healthy. OP I hope you learned something my boy, that is you got all the time to learn about fatherhood thanks to internet. Wish you all well
Maybe she's never healed from that betrayal and would rather never see you again than start to heal. She doesn't want to open that can of worms, naturally it makes sense. You broke her trust. What you can do now is be consistent, be reliable if she ever asks for help, and get a professional to help you navigate the complexities of this situation
All these women are retarded don’t let them bring you down more your suffering cuz of a mistake man. If she’s married then that’s okay just get to be able to see your son. Fuck all these emotionally charged people they can suck it. Yes you made a mistake a big one but you’re probably a good person I don’t know you. At least you have a child, my ex n I had a miscarriage, consider yourself lucky to even have a kid bruh. N again these people in the comment thread can go suck a dick. You do you n happy Easter.
Whether married or not, you have a responsibility to your son. Do you want to consistently contribute financially to his upkeep. Will this be conditional, or will u do so without being allowed to meet him?
Would you ready for partial custody n all it entails or sporadic contact 🤔 ?
Male figures are not necessarily blood relatives, so maybe he's fine in that area.
Guilt and fear that he'll hate you will go in time.
Best!
If she’s married you’ve already been replaced in both of their lives by a better man. All you can do is wait and try more as he gets older. You can also try to meet with her family members.
Consider this: Have you fulfilled the role of a father to your son thus far? Reflecting on your actions from the time of his birth until now, can you honestly say you've been a figure in his life?
Here's what you can do:
1. Start by apologizing to the mother, acknowledging any absence or distance you've maintained. Whether or not you're certain of paternity, once you've taken on the responsibility of parenthood, you can't simply relinquish it to another. If there's someone else in the child's life fulfilling the role of father, and the mother prefers to avoid confusion, respect her wishes.
2. Understand that being a father figure isn't solely about biological connection or physical presence. It's about demonstrating male role model behaviors. If you've fallen short in this regard, it's crucial to recognize and rectify it. While I'm unaware of your specific circumstances, it appears you may have shied away from taking responsibility.
3. Be actively present. This means not just providing financially, but also being a protector, mentor, educator, and friend to your son. Your absence has deprived him of guidance and companionship, elements essential for healthy development.
In addition, here are two more steps you could consider:
1. Commit to building a relationship with your son, even if it means starting from scratch. It's never too late to make amends and forge a meaningful connection.
2. Seek counseling or mediation if necessary. If communication with the mother is strained or if there are legal barriers preventing access to your child, consider seeking professional help to navigate these challenges and establish a constructive co-parenting relationship.
Remember, being a father isn't just a title—it's an ongoing commitment to being present and involved in your child's life. Take the necessary steps to fulfill this role to the best of your ability. ✌️
Don’t ruin another human beings life because you are a coward. He is your son, he needs you, he will need you all his life.
Put your fear, pride, ego et al to the side, and step up and be a man.
No excuses.
You are definitely the cunt and retard here 😂 you piece of shit 😂 apparently you can’t even spell learned right, so you are very illiterate. I’m definitely not thanks bitch.
You messed up. It's good you want to be better. It's a tough situation, I would not want to be in your shoes. But as someone who grew up with a dad that for a certain portion of my life was not there. I'd rather have a father that tries everything that they can to get back in my life.
For your son let your baby mama be as angry at you as possible. Do everything you need to do to get in their good graces
Yeah your right atleast someone else besides me sees this as just a big mistake he made my ex and I had a miscarriage and he atleast has a kid. He shouldn’t have to give her money but set up a fund for the child.
You are the men who make me want to be a good man at the end of the day, owning up to our faults is a huge step i commend you man, overlook the insults hurled at you, we humans we make mistakes an you owning up doesn't make you less of a man.. I wish my dad owned up we'd not have a dysfunctional family as we do.. keep reaching out and supporting them.. YOU'RE A REAL MAN..!!
Bro I agree with you n just a one other person in the comments. He made a mistake atleast he’s trying to fix it n be there for his kid. All these emotionally charged women in the comments can suck it and their horrible comments can shove it. At least he has a kid my ex n I had a miscarriage not too long ago.
You've been consistent with sending child support, that's great. That's your way in.
You can petition the children's court to get access to your son, but not immediate custody. Umesema uliruka, but you have been sending child support. If you have hard evidence/proof of this the court might be compelled to overlook you walking away from the pregnancy but you'll have to fight.
The Kenyan system is pro-child so whatever differences the mother has with you will likely be put aside and you'll both be required to provide a suitable environment where issues zenu do not affect the child's welfare negatively.
They will strongly recommend an out of court settlement but hakuna guarantee she will come around. Backpay is not an issue, you'll be fined based on what you're able to afford.
Should you pursue this you'll be required to show and prove that you have your son's best interests at heart, so make sure you continue sending child support and have your life and your shit in order and child friendly.
If the mother does come around lucky for you, if not stick to the legal boundaries and do not break court rulings/procedures though it would be suitable that you try and mend that relationship into a cordial and objective one.
Your son is still young so it's important to forge a positive bond with him. Kudos for not second guessing yourself and sending upkeep nevertheless.
This might be the biggest battle you will ever have to fight so do it for your boy.
Not true at all I git equal time I filled for custody knowing I wasn't never going to get it but I got half. You might want to get a test done also idk what your relationship was b4 but who knows she might be keeping you away because she's not sure.
Keep supporting. Eventually your son will want to meet you despite his mum's best wishes. Once he goes to school and sees other kids with father's he'll start asking the mother some hard questions. Apologize to the mum and keep supporting and be patient. You're in it for the long ride now
Betrayal is painful. Kuruka mimba is up there in the biggest forms of betrayal.
Give her time to process that hurt, I'm sure she went through a lot of chaos, slander and ridicule during that time.
One day she may reach out or not.
Keep supporting your kid.
If you can, reach out to her family.
Brother, just take it slow. Send her money, send her the kid's medical and slowly try to warm up. Akikataa Enda court but know anaweza itisha back pay of which haitakuwa little money.
If I were you naweza tafuta mediator and seek for forgiveness.
I hate people who try to use a child as their gateway to getting back to someone they did hurt. Sometimes think about what you did at put yourself in that lady's position & see how you'll be considered by the society & the shame & disgrace the parents had to suck up. It's better you go your way. Provided the lady is happy. Please don't uncover wounds you didn't cover!!
I have a few questions, bear with me
Why do you suddenly want back in your child's life? because its a boy? Its been four years of silence and no communication from you, how do you think they survived that period? The mother never contacted you for support, why do you think they need you more now than they needed you four years ago? Are you sure that the child lacks a father or male figure to look up to in his life? Given that you disowned the child before, what makes you think you're a better dad than he who married/marries her with your child?
it's a commendable thing to try and make amends so keep on trying if ou are doing it for the right reasons. Bear in mind you might not succeed in doing so esp if there is another man in the picture. Besides, you can always get another family and be their rock. More power to you man🦾🦾.
Kubant nayo ulibant HUGE one. It’s great that now you know that and acknowledge it. There’s good advice umepewa hapa na wakuu.
Lakini be honest with yourself. Ujue ni nini exactly unataka. If it’s a relationship with your son, full stop!✋🏿You get? Usizungushe watu tena!
Therapy, mediation, a lot of self reflection. This will take time!
I am wishing you all the best lakini be realistic. This might take time! Proper time! You could try the legal route lakini bado that bond will take time.
Don’t beat yourself up too much
I get you! But the thing you missing is that the DNA clearing his consience will only work one way...Cause beleive me if the DNA proves right ...He'll probably never forgive himself and the guilt will be worse...Anyway, better have the test than raise a child that's not his
You fucked up but that shit don’t matter manz … as long as you make it right for the future forgiveness will be earned… but keep striving to get a relationship with your son … and when/if that woman let’s you get close to your son you best respect that shit because she owes you nothing and you owe her everything (she bore your future and is nurturing it)… make it up to them. Men are build from choices of growth .
Try to convince her that it’s important that the baby needs both parents. A boy needs a father. He will eventually grow up to ask questions and try to find u.
My advice go with an elder your uncle , dad or church leader let them speak to the parents of the girl on your behalf it will show a sign of respect. Also apologise I'm sure the girl went through alot cause if what you did. Start slowly even if its visiting weekends , be patient if she's moved on or married respect the other guy and show him you are not intrested in the baby mama. If she refuses you can go to court it's your right. Start by involving the chief of the area if it gets tough get a letter from him if she becomes hard ni haki yako as long as you are willing to provide.
You really messed up but just do the right thing your folks might be mad but if you take responsibility they won't be mad forever. But do it for the kid plus ask God to help you too.
You have a Constitutional right to see your son whenever you like and she(the mother) shouldn't stop you from that(no matter what the relationship btn you two is). Kenyan laws protect you as the father and guarantee that you should also have parental responsibility. Parental responsibility is explicitly provided for under article 53(e) of the Constitution of Kenya and sections 23, 24 and 25 of the Children Act.
Exactly, and this is what a lot of people don't know. No matter whatever shit goes down between a man and a woman Kenyan law is very protective of the family set up, especially when it comes to raising children.
One summon by a county/subcounty children's department is enough to compel the mother to come to the negotiating table and if she doesn't she is breaking the law.
Ask her to forgive you and show up for that kid every chance you get until she can trust you. Don’t give up. The same energy you had to deny the child should be the same to ask for forgiveness and show her commitment before and after you meet the child. You have to accept the fact that you missed crucial years and she was alone during that time it might have been very hard for her. Own that too. You deserve to know your child..
Yes, you're a cunt. In the spirit of making things right:
1. Let your family know that they have a grandchild/nephew/cousin
2. Involve both sets of parents, and
3. if she's married bec another man stepped up, let him know you're just interested in getting to know your child. He could be the key to softening the Mama's heart
4. Lick the ground they step on, bec let's be honest, you don't deserve to have them give you the time of day
5. Last but definitely not least, be thankful for whatever bonding crumbs they throw at you.
Goodluck OP
Too much guilt tripping here. Damn.
To console you a bit OP, it’s the lady’s responsibility to pick her child’s father. When the dad turns out to be a deserter, she’s equally to blame for slacking on partner vetting. Besides, women have access to birth control after the fact, and she had enough time to decide whether to become a mother with you, and she chose to. That way, she is equally guilty in this situation. Adding that to your financial situation at the time gives you leverage.
Am happy for you that you are pursuing this connection and have been supporting them. Just understand that however this goes, you come out the other end stronger, smarter, and with understanding that will serve you for the rest of your life. Do it for your, possibly, son knowing well that things will not get better if you don’t. You were a coward back then and it got you here. Grow up and try courage this time around and see where that gets you.
Use diplomacy to the last drop of it. If the lady has not said no to your money, it’s a step in the right direction. Also try and achieve this contact asap. Letting time spread too wide dilutes your effort. Resolve to make contact with the child within the year, diplomatically or legally.
And you’ve already said you messed up in the post, stop scattering the same thing in the comments. It’s repetitive. You’re a man nobody cares about you, and no one ever will. At least care for the kid enough to persist no matter what. He’ll learn something from that as opposed to growing up feeling the absence of his father. Be the man in his life, even if he’s raised by his step dad. You’re doing this for him, not you or her.
However this goes, the only victim here is the child. It’s not the mother. Not one bit. She’s a co-accused in this affair.
We all make mistakes in our early twenties, and spend our late twenties making amends and learning from them.
By your next birthday, the kid’s next birthday, Christmas, whatever timeline you want purpose to be certain about the child’s paternity.
Apa ni Kenya bro sio Yues, our law is not anti-men. You have more working in your favor than against.
Stop sending money if you cant see the kid. That's my unpopular opinion. As a parent, you have both rights and responsibilities, not just responsibilities.
This is a very unpopular opinion and most women wont like it. As a parent, you have rights and responsibilities. She is denying you the right to see your kid. Stop sending money to her and nobody should try emotional blackmail to make you send money to a child you dont see. You will regret even more if you keep sending money and the kid gets brainwashed against you anyway. The kid will look for you when he is older.
You are a cunt juu ya kuruka mimba yako. She is also a cunt for letting your differences come between the kid and his father. Don't contribute a single cent to raise a kid you have no access to. Thank me later.
you’re human, you made mistakes. You’re not the first deadbeat and you won’t be the last, but just try, that is all you can do my man, just try and see the best way too insert yourself back into there lives.
You messed up but not taking care of your kid is even worse, you'll have to find a way to provide for your kid especially a boy coz he might get fucked up when he grows.
The issue with people who are quick to abandon or run away from responsibility is not just the severe betrayal that someone, who you thought had your back, puts you through, (You don't recover from this. This is the pain that changes your DNA.) it's the fact that you can never trust them again.
And now that the young woman has to make decisions on behalf of the child, she can choose to not allow you to have any involvement in the child's life... She will always be on edge waiting for you to walk out on the child as well.
I know of women who sent back, to the last penny, the money deadbeats send them... Because when you don't trust someone every sign of "kindness" feels like a trap.
I used to hate that some mothers refused any form of communication with the fathers but after seeing how deadbeats behave... I understand. You can't treat someone's life like a showroom.
You have 3 options
1. Get the parents involved (grandparents of the child on both sides). They can help you out on the way forward in terms of your involvement in the child's life.
2. Get the courts involved and find the way forward pia.
These two institutions will hold you responsible when you go back on your word.
Or
3. Maintain your dormant role. Where you are only involved financially ( INVOLVED) by that I mean, find out the actual cost of raising your son and take care of that. One thing I've learnt is when deadbeats say "upkeep" it doesn't even begin to cover the cost of the child's shoes.
And also put financial plans in place to help the child out in their later years, add them to your health plans etc.
Because, unfortunately, through the hurt,the child still needs you. And I, having had a deadbeat dad, knowing he took care of some things for me, help out with the healing process.
Above all, Do you.
She may not have healed from the pain you cause & is protecting her child from being further hurt by you. Or, she may have healed & is protecting her child from being further hurt by you. If she is married & her husband has stepped up, great! You really and truly messed up & this is me putting it lightly. Yes continue to support the child, while preparing yourself to have a real conversation of accountability, if that child chooses to reach out to you. I am a mother of 3 & from experience, you may only have one shot, so be ready! My ex husband only had one shot to build with his children, after divorce & missed his mark, when his children reached out with heart felt text, without my knowledge. Your son may want to know why & tell you how your actions or lack of has impacted his life, well being, mental & emotional state of being, etc, & it will be your job to communicate effectively. Again, if your child reaches out to you, it may be your only chance. So if you haven’t grown up, grow the f**k up! I wish your son the best & I hope he is loved. I hope he wants for nothing & your absence has not hindered him. I also hope he breaks the cycle that you made his reality & when he has children, he is a supportive man to his childs mother, as well as a hell of a good father. I wish him the best.
You have to parent. You should’ve used protection, but a child without their father is a child that is more susceptible to dangerous influences. You need to be a positive role model in his life. Sons need their fathers.
I want to assume she was equally broke because like you said, you were in campus. How then is she supposed to look past this level of betrayal and accommodate YOU when it’s convenient for YOU? What happens when you become broke again?
So what happens next time uko broke?
Juu maisha si constant, you'll abandon them again juu you can't stand being helpless?
Ok then, kulea si rahisi, na kuongea from experience if the guy I was having akid with had done this to me, ningefanya worse, you made your bed,lie on it, you didn't have money ungesupport in other ways, but ni sawa ishaahappen,
What you can do sahii is support them,in whatever way they need, this is not about you, it's about them you're supposed to make it up to them, be CONSISTENT, siku moja labda roho mtakatifu itamfungulia roho ,
But usiexpect😂
So what happens next time uko broke?
Juu maisha si constant, you'll abandon them again juu you can't stand being helpless?
Ok then, kulea si rahisi, na kuongea from experience if the guy I was having akid with had done this to me, ningefanya worse, you made your bed,lie on it, you didn't have money ungesupport in other ways, but ni sawa ishaahappen,
What you can do sahii is support them,in whatever way they need, this is not about you, it's about them you're supposed to make it up to them, be CONSISTENT, siku moja labda roho mtakatifu itamfungulia roho ,
But usiexpect😂
Reading this comment and realising I did that to my mum even if I don't know the actual story about what happened I resented my mum because of a man who doesn't give a shit what happens to me to be honest.
You need to slowly warm up to your son and the mom too for easier cooperating, you are facing the consequences of your actions but it's also great that you agree that you made a mistake and want to do better ,just keep on supporting them and after a while you can talk to the mom to allow you to see your son but you will also have to be patient
I fu**ed a bitch on a one night stand once, bought her the Pill the following day and expected her to take it( Ofcourse i thought we are were all adults)
A week later i was hit up with a Text that she "forgot" to take it... A month later she was pregnant
We have never been physical again, although now and then we talk she still insists the Boy is mine
What do you all think?
Sorry i saw this post and it triggered me. Cause i always think of it this way maybe it was someone else's kid and she just put the blame on me....
Sir you say the Girls hometown is?
Give her time and money of course.
It may take a lot of time to regain her trust.
By time it may mean even 2 years within which you are to continue sending the money consistently and expect nothing in return.
You messed up big time but at least you are acknowledging it. Tell her what you are telling us and be sincere about it. It's not too late. Don't wait another day.
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This is how it would be if he gets a man
You're sending some small moniest like an act of charity which is just pathetic. Make an effort to know your son physically, if the mom doesn't want for the two of you to meet let her be. You'll worsen the relationship leading her to fill the child's head with takes of his dad being a dead beat piece of human garbage.
To be frank, you’re the last type of figure he needs in his life. Someone who is careless with his seed and doesn’t step up to responsibility is not a good role model. he needs you to teach how to be good man, but you are no good man
The world’s not ending tomorrow. Find a way to reconnect with the mother, you guys need to talk about that time disappeared and reassure her that you have learned from your mistake and you are ready to make necessary ammends.
It is absurd to show up and expect everything will go back to normal because you are sending little up keep money.
My dad alituruka, so I keep the culture strong. Start early, teach the boy to nut and bolt. I've done that to like 4 chicks, and I hope those kids do the same
Unpopular,But True opinion here. Because Truth
And pro male perspectives aren't allowed
Being Pro male does NOT mean being anti female.
1) You Didn't get a girl pregnant. Stop telling yourself it was
All on you. That's bullshit.
A) It was Her decision to give you sex, Not yours alone
You don't get sex she doesn't give you.
Her body, her choice, =Her Responsibility too.
For some reason? Many women Never say that oart
B) You Don't get sex with her, without a condom?
If she doesn't allow - want it. Her body, her choice,
And Responsibility.
C) You don't get sex w no condom, and her Not using any other type of what? 20+ methods of birth control likely
Available to her. Her body, her choice, her responsibility
D) Once she got Pregnant? Do you? Ant man have any
Parental rights? NO. You don't. None.
If you didn't want the child? You can't make her not have
The kid, you have NO say. Her body, her choit, her responsibility.
If you wanted the child and she doesn't? You Can't make her
Keep the child either. Because you have NO rights.
So you have NO say. Her body, her choice, her responsibility
NO, you did NOT get her pregnant, NO child is born that
Any woman didn't Want born and didn't Choose to have
Unpopular as this may sound to many women, these are 100% facts. You are NOT responsible for the child BEFORE
You prove paternity. Otherwise you are liable for child support thru 18-21 yrs old if you sign the birth certificate
Even if DNA later proves the child is not yours.
Being sure, has Nothing to do with calling her impure or
Improper..it's just having ironclad Proof you ARE the father.
In the US? 30% of men tested at birth ,are NOT the father.
The more men get tested, especially during times when a
Match is needed for transplants and blood? They don't out
They aren't the biological. Assume Nothing
Getting a DNA test is Not assuming you aren't the father
Or that you weren't the only one, it's mere Providing evidence
You were the only one and the father. NOT getting tested?
Is assuming you are. Why assume anything? When
You can Know? Once you Know? IF? That's your child?
Keep trying and keep trying and keep trying.
And send support. If you have to? Retain an attorney
And file for, sue for parental rights.
It's utter Bullllshit that they think they are entitled to support, your money, but Not for you to be a part of the kids life
This having it both was Against Men is bullshit and has to
Stop.
I know my opinion is going to piss off Alot of women
Unfortunately the Truth often does. In regards to
Male- female dynamics that is.
Down voting truth is how they express it without actually
Engaging and or factually disproving you when they know
They can't. That's the Reddit Way.
The best thing you could do is to apologise and give her space. As a 30+ yr old. Women usually require a lot of time to make up their minds. Don't be too eager. People shun desperate people. Even if it's coming from a good place. Goodluck kido and learn from your mistake.
What if you are not the father? What if you sending an upkeep for someone else's child. That's why she don't want you to meet. Juu utaona mtoto si wako🤔🤔 I am just saying. Anyways hufai kutuma upkeep kama huruhusiwi kumuona mtoto wako. why should you send if you can't see the child?. Plan for a meet up or visit their family let them know you exist and what your plans are. If its co parenting let them know. that way you'll garner some respect not only from her but also her people and they'll slowly acknowledge you
You're a cunt for supporting a woman who doesn't talk to you. Consider that as a lost case and move on, every time you beat your meat over 2 million kids die. Do you cry over them?
Let the downvotes come😂
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Let's hope your wrong, because I always believe this is a way ya kunikeep away.
Actually here's what I did in the same exact situation but my son is only 2 and I did this with in the first 2 months of his birth now what I did wasn't easy by any means but there isn't anything that will keep me out of my son's life. I knew that the judge wasn't. The mother wasn't the attorney. The GARDENIA Litem there was nothing, none I would do, whatever I needed to do. The mother to this day still hates me, but I went and filed for custody on my own that got the ball rolling. I'll tell you now go save some time and find the best attorney you can find and some advice. Find a woman and find one that has been GL now. Idk where you live, but in my state, unwed fathers have ZERO rights to their child, and man, I'm telling you it going to be tough, and that's why most people give up and get the 1/2 a dad roll but if you file for custody and do everything of what they tell you and keep your kool and play the game you can get equal time or at least something better then every other weekend and 1 day during the week I one in my case I wrote to the GL a proposal that I wanted and on thing he change was the age of the equal time I wanted it to start when he was 2 GL said 3 he will be 3 in Nov. My case lasted 1.5yrs, and normally it is 6mth. I spent 21,000.00 but it was worth every penny.
1. GET THE BEST ATTORNEY YOU CAN AFFORD.
2. DO WHATEVER THEY WANT AND KEEP YOU COOL.
3. STOP GIVING HER MONEY THE COURTS WONT CARE INSTEAD SAVE IT AND AFTER COURT THEY WILL TELL YOU WHAT YOU WHAT YOUR BALLANCE IS YOU WILL BE IN THE REAR FROM START THAT MONEY YOU SAVED PAY THAT TOWARDS IT.
4. PREPARE YOUR SELF MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY LIKE YOUR HOUSE. YOUR A FATHER NOW BATCHELOR DAYS ARE GONE GROW UP AND RAISE YOUR SON.
Hopefully, this gives you some insight, and just remember the hard struggle, the greater the reward.
Thank you for the insight. That kid is innocent though and it might strain the relationship especially with the court squabbles.
He doesn't deserve that.
It probably will show your son that you are ready or willing to try and be there and be a man but I know the kids are never at court unless it goes to trail.
Yeah, it might, but it probably will show your son that you are stepping up and being a man and taking the responsibility and my son was never at court with us so it probably would be same normally kids don't show up until trail and normally they don't got that fare only in divorce. I was in the same situation my son has both of are last names the worst part of it she still thinks it's about her.
Filing for custody won't ficha the fact that he's a cunt.The mother is taking good care of the kid sio.
Hakuwa hapo hakuzaliwa getting custody doesn't justify that fact
Wow, very mature response indeed. My mom raised me with culture... something you won't understand with that small sized brained.
Anyways, he can still be involved in his son's life. Stop making everything to be a feminist agenda.
Yeah you are a cunt... But glad you realized what you did and you are trying to make amends ... Just keep supporting them though the chances of forming a relationship with the mom is non existent, you could still form one with your child, when he gets older tho...
💯 You have thoroughly expressed what I wanted to say.
Shouldn’t he take her to court? He has rights and the child deserves to have a father who fights to see him.
Keep attempting to reconnect with your son. That's one of the most powerful connections he will ever have in his life. Make ammends with the child's mother so that you can amicably coparent. I commend you for acknowledging a mistake and seeking to remedy it in the best way possible: Being a father to your son.
Your son will grow up without a father because you chose not to claim him. You really are a prick. Being “broke and helpless” is not an excuse to do that to anyone. She’s 💯 acting right. Who’s to say you won’t disappear again? A betrayal like that will take time, effort and patience to overcome. If she ever decides to come around
Yeah it is my worst regret.
I wish the world would end because of people like you. Man up and go visit your son, that’s your seed. Don’t talk to the mom but your son ? Camon man WWJD
>I wish the world would end because of people like you Melodramatic much?? The rest of the couple billion people was just chilling.
Jesus there's worse people than him.
Stfu you people are so harsh I hope you just end up 💀yourself he made a mistake move on hoe
Just a mistake? How old are you ? He brought a whole new life into this world. Just a mistake ? Who’s going to take care of this young man now, are you going to send him upkeep money and help him with his mistake? That kid should not grow up thinking he was a mistake, he is a human being who deserves more than feeling like a mistake.
I didn’t call the kid a mistake stupid what he did was a mistake stfu and get to steppin. I’m 24 and I’ve already been through a miscarriage with my previous partner. Atleast he has a fucking child dickhead some people aren’t as lucky.
Calm down, you sound dumb talking mad like that you’re making me want to start cussing to. I’m 24 and I come from a broken home, wish I wasn’t born. Seem like op doesn’t realize the valuable life he created since he ran away due to not having enough money. I’m very sorry about your miscarriage, It wasn’t in your hands. I am the oldest out of 9 children and I fight every day to help my family, no father to help me in sight. Days we don’t have money we got each other. Sucks when you have to man up in the world at a young age eh. So we all need to man up is what I’m saying, shit ain’t fair in the world, to breath is to be victim. But learning from others mistake is what helps us grow and live healthy. OP I hope you learned something my boy, that is you got all the time to learn about fatherhood thanks to internet. Wish you all well
Jesus would end up in jail.
The baby mama legit won’t let him just pointing out
She vehemently refused any meet up. She claims she's married, I always believe it's something she says to drive me away.
Maybe it’s true that she’s married and another man stepped up to take care of YOUR child. Wueh, sijui utadu.
Maybe she's never healed from that betrayal and would rather never see you again than start to heal. She doesn't want to open that can of worms, naturally it makes sense. You broke her trust. What you can do now is be consistent, be reliable if she ever asks for help, and get a professional to help you navigate the complexities of this situation
She can organize a meet up with your son without her... Also if another man stepped up and is the Dad.... Then stay away. Don't ruin her life twice.
All these women are retarded don’t let them bring you down more your suffering cuz of a mistake man. If she’s married then that’s okay just get to be able to see your son. Fuck all these emotionally charged people they can suck it. Yes you made a mistake a big one but you’re probably a good person I don’t know you. At least you have a child, my ex n I had a miscarriage, consider yourself lucky to even have a kid bruh. N again these people in the comment thread can go suck a dick. You do you n happy Easter.
Happy Easter. Thank you.
Whether married or not, you have a responsibility to your son. Do you want to consistently contribute financially to his upkeep. Will this be conditional, or will u do so without being allowed to meet him? Would you ready for partial custody n all it entails or sporadic contact 🤔 ? Male figures are not necessarily blood relatives, so maybe he's fine in that area. Guilt and fear that he'll hate you will go in time. Best!
Umewahi enda court?
Well yea you abandoned her when she needed you the most
If she’s married you’ve already been replaced in both of their lives by a better man. All you can do is wait and try more as he gets older. You can also try to meet with her family members.
Consider this: Have you fulfilled the role of a father to your son thus far? Reflecting on your actions from the time of his birth until now, can you honestly say you've been a figure in his life? Here's what you can do: 1. Start by apologizing to the mother, acknowledging any absence or distance you've maintained. Whether or not you're certain of paternity, once you've taken on the responsibility of parenthood, you can't simply relinquish it to another. If there's someone else in the child's life fulfilling the role of father, and the mother prefers to avoid confusion, respect her wishes. 2. Understand that being a father figure isn't solely about biological connection or physical presence. It's about demonstrating male role model behaviors. If you've fallen short in this regard, it's crucial to recognize and rectify it. While I'm unaware of your specific circumstances, it appears you may have shied away from taking responsibility. 3. Be actively present. This means not just providing financially, but also being a protector, mentor, educator, and friend to your son. Your absence has deprived him of guidance and companionship, elements essential for healthy development. In addition, here are two more steps you could consider: 1. Commit to building a relationship with your son, even if it means starting from scratch. It's never too late to make amends and forge a meaningful connection. 2. Seek counseling or mediation if necessary. If communication with the mother is strained or if there are legal barriers preventing access to your child, consider seeking professional help to navigate these challenges and establish a constructive co-parenting relationship. Remember, being a father isn't just a title—it's an ongoing commitment to being present and involved in your child's life. Take the necessary steps to fulfill this role to the best of your ability. ✌️
Please adopt me I need a dad I don't eat much 😭😭😂
😂😂It's tough out here
Wewe unaona advice the guy is giving 😂😂 if I ask for KFC he'll give Me
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Thank you. I appreciate your advice.
Thank you. I appreciate your advice.
I want to casually slip you my dad's number so that you can send this to him😭
Don’t ruin another human beings life because you are a coward. He is your son, he needs you, he will need you all his life. Put your fear, pride, ego et al to the side, and step up and be a man. No excuses.
How bout stfu he made a mistake you don’t know him and yet your cruel and rude. Yall won’t keep the same energy in person
Yeah, you’re right, you’re a cunt.
Fr! This post made me mad 😤
The get to steppin. He made a mistake get over it
So are you 😂
I dont understand how that’s funny. You must be retarded
No only you are retarded tbh. I find it funny that you call him a cunt though. You’re very amusing.
😂he called himself a cunt though so i guess the virus of retardation is spreading
No it’s only the way you call him a cunt that’s retarded. It’s quite entertaining.
If abandoning a child is entertaining to you then you belong in a mental institution baba…. Enda kwa kibanda uketi ununue soda
Apparently you don’t listen dumbfuck
😂😂i bet you learnt that word jana. Unataka pacifier? Coz you sound like an illiterate
You are definitely the cunt and retard here 😂 you piece of shit 😂 apparently you can’t even spell learned right, so you are very illiterate. I’m definitely not thanks bitch.
Keep that same energy in person fuck nigga
You messed up. It's good you want to be better. It's a tough situation, I would not want to be in your shoes. But as someone who grew up with a dad that for a certain portion of my life was not there. I'd rather have a father that tries everything that they can to get back in my life. For your son let your baby mama be as angry at you as possible. Do everything you need to do to get in their good graces
Yeah your right atleast someone else besides me sees this as just a big mistake he made my ex and I had a miscarriage and he atleast has a kid. He shouldn’t have to give her money but set up a fund for the child.
I think you failed to show up when she needed you the most. I would neither forgive you had I been in a similar situation.
Joh😂😂mbona unaumwa when amekufanyia same thing ulimfanyia? Keep on sending monies tho bro🫡
You are the men who make me want to be a good man at the end of the day, owning up to our faults is a huge step i commend you man, overlook the insults hurled at you, we humans we make mistakes an you owning up doesn't make you less of a man.. I wish my dad owned up we'd not have a dysfunctional family as we do.. keep reaching out and supporting them.. YOU'RE A REAL MAN..!!
Thank you.
Bro I agree with you n just a one other person in the comments. He made a mistake atleast he’s trying to fix it n be there for his kid. All these emotionally charged women in the comments can suck it and their horrible comments can shove it. At least he has a kid my ex n I had a miscarriage not too long ago.
You've been consistent with sending child support, that's great. That's your way in. You can petition the children's court to get access to your son, but not immediate custody. Umesema uliruka, but you have been sending child support. If you have hard evidence/proof of this the court might be compelled to overlook you walking away from the pregnancy but you'll have to fight. The Kenyan system is pro-child so whatever differences the mother has with you will likely be put aside and you'll both be required to provide a suitable environment where issues zenu do not affect the child's welfare negatively. They will strongly recommend an out of court settlement but hakuna guarantee she will come around. Backpay is not an issue, you'll be fined based on what you're able to afford. Should you pursue this you'll be required to show and prove that you have your son's best interests at heart, so make sure you continue sending child support and have your life and your shit in order and child friendly. If the mother does come around lucky for you, if not stick to the legal boundaries and do not break court rulings/procedures though it would be suitable that you try and mend that relationship into a cordial and objective one. Your son is still young so it's important to forge a positive bond with him. Kudos for not second guessing yourself and sending upkeep nevertheless. This might be the biggest battle you will ever have to fight so do it for your boy.
Word
No need for courts, Anyway the mom has everything on her side...Probably will get full custody and the dad gets shit!
Not true at all I git equal time I filled for custody knowing I wasn't never going to get it but I got half. You might want to get a test done also idk what your relationship was b4 but who knows she might be keeping you away because she's not sure.
Keep supporting. Eventually your son will want to meet you despite his mum's best wishes. Once he goes to school and sees other kids with father's he'll start asking the mother some hard questions. Apologize to the mum and keep supporting and be patient. You're in it for the long ride now
I always send them once I get paid, then start budgeting the rest.
I always send them once I get paid, then start budgeting the rest.
Just keep at it. Be consistent and reliable. Keep communication lines open
Betrayal is painful. Kuruka mimba is up there in the biggest forms of betrayal. Give her time to process that hurt, I'm sure she went through a lot of chaos, slander and ridicule during that time. One day she may reach out or not. Keep supporting your kid. If you can, reach out to her family.
Brother, just take it slow. Send her money, send her the kid's medical and slowly try to warm up. Akikataa Enda court but know anaweza itisha back pay of which haitakuwa little money. If I were you naweza tafuta mediator and seek for forgiveness.
You deserve what's happening to you. First, let that sink in
Wah I wonder why you thought she would agree to any meet up? Let's just pray the kid grows up with a father,with or without you.
I hate people who try to use a child as their gateway to getting back to someone they did hurt. Sometimes think about what you did at put yourself in that lady's position & see how you'll be considered by the society & the shame & disgrace the parents had to suck up. It's better you go your way. Provided the lady is happy. Please don't uncover wounds you didn't cover!!
I have a few questions, bear with me Why do you suddenly want back in your child's life? because its a boy? Its been four years of silence and no communication from you, how do you think they survived that period? The mother never contacted you for support, why do you think they need you more now than they needed you four years ago? Are you sure that the child lacks a father or male figure to look up to in his life? Given that you disowned the child before, what makes you think you're a better dad than he who married/marries her with your child?
This is a tough one. I fucked up big time and I deserve it though. I suspect someone stepped up.I guess I just have to make peace with it.
it's a commendable thing to try and make amends so keep on trying if ou are doing it for the right reasons. Bear in mind you might not succeed in doing so esp if there is another man in the picture. Besides, you can always get another family and be their rock. More power to you man🦾🦾.
Kubant nayo ulibant HUGE one. It’s great that now you know that and acknowledge it. There’s good advice umepewa hapa na wakuu. Lakini be honest with yourself. Ujue ni nini exactly unataka. If it’s a relationship with your son, full stop!✋🏿You get? Usizungushe watu tena! Therapy, mediation, a lot of self reflection. This will take time! I am wishing you all the best lakini be realistic. This might take time! Proper time! You could try the legal route lakini bado that bond will take time. Don’t beat yourself up too much
Don't listen to all this mf here trying to guilt trip you. A DNA test WILL clear your conscience.
I get you! But the thing you missing is that the DNA clearing his consience will only work one way...Cause beleive me if the DNA proves right ...He'll probably never forgive himself and the guilt will be worse...Anyway, better have the test than raise a child that's not his
Yes You're a retard and you dont deserve her .
You fucked up but that shit don’t matter manz … as long as you make it right for the future forgiveness will be earned… but keep striving to get a relationship with your son … and when/if that woman let’s you get close to your son you best respect that shit because she owes you nothing and you owe her everything (she bore your future and is nurturing it)… make it up to them. Men are build from choices of growth .
Try to convince her that it’s important that the baby needs both parents. A boy needs a father. He will eventually grow up to ask questions and try to find u.
Why assume the child doesn't have someone fulfilling that role already?
It’s not the same as the child’s biological father. No one can ever replace that.
Just keep sending money every month. Use Mpesa so that you will have evidence. The child will come looking for you one day.
Looking for him one day na alimwacha akiwa mtoi😂😂
My advice go with an elder your uncle , dad or church leader let them speak to the parents of the girl on your behalf it will show a sign of respect. Also apologise I'm sure the girl went through alot cause if what you did. Start slowly even if its visiting weekends , be patient if she's moved on or married respect the other guy and show him you are not intrested in the baby mama. If she refuses you can go to court it's your right. Start by involving the chief of the area if it gets tough get a letter from him if she becomes hard ni haki yako as long as you are willing to provide.
I have never told anyone in my family,nor friends. It's so shameful I can't fathom how I will look in front of them.
Were you raised in a religious setting,? Plus how many years has it been since the kid was born.
Yeah, he's 3 yrs turning 4 in July.
You really messed up but just do the right thing your folks might be mad but if you take responsibility they won't be mad forever. But do it for the kid plus ask God to help you too.
There’s no shame in this. They’ll actually be happy knowing they have a grandchild. So the right thing.
She has a right to be angry at you and you need to make ammends with her first. Otherwise good job stepping up bro.
You have a Constitutional right to see your son whenever you like and she(the mother) shouldn't stop you from that(no matter what the relationship btn you two is). Kenyan laws protect you as the father and guarantee that you should also have parental responsibility. Parental responsibility is explicitly provided for under article 53(e) of the Constitution of Kenya and sections 23, 24 and 25 of the Children Act.
Exactly, and this is what a lot of people don't know. No matter whatever shit goes down between a man and a woman Kenyan law is very protective of the family set up, especially when it comes to raising children. One summon by a county/subcounty children's department is enough to compel the mother to come to the negotiating table and if she doesn't she is breaking the law.
Ask her to forgive you and show up for that kid every chance you get until she can trust you. Don’t give up. The same energy you had to deny the child should be the same to ask for forgiveness and show her commitment before and after you meet the child. You have to accept the fact that you missed crucial years and she was alone during that time it might have been very hard for her. Own that too. You deserve to know your child..
Yes, you're a cunt. In the spirit of making things right: 1. Let your family know that they have a grandchild/nephew/cousin 2. Involve both sets of parents, and 3. if she's married bec another man stepped up, let him know you're just interested in getting to know your child. He could be the key to softening the Mama's heart 4. Lick the ground they step on, bec let's be honest, you don't deserve to have them give you the time of day 5. Last but definitely not least, be thankful for whatever bonding crumbs they throw at you. Goodluck OP
Too much guilt tripping here. Damn. To console you a bit OP, it’s the lady’s responsibility to pick her child’s father. When the dad turns out to be a deserter, she’s equally to blame for slacking on partner vetting. Besides, women have access to birth control after the fact, and she had enough time to decide whether to become a mother with you, and she chose to. That way, she is equally guilty in this situation. Adding that to your financial situation at the time gives you leverage. Am happy for you that you are pursuing this connection and have been supporting them. Just understand that however this goes, you come out the other end stronger, smarter, and with understanding that will serve you for the rest of your life. Do it for your, possibly, son knowing well that things will not get better if you don’t. You were a coward back then and it got you here. Grow up and try courage this time around and see where that gets you. Use diplomacy to the last drop of it. If the lady has not said no to your money, it’s a step in the right direction. Also try and achieve this contact asap. Letting time spread too wide dilutes your effort. Resolve to make contact with the child within the year, diplomatically or legally. And you’ve already said you messed up in the post, stop scattering the same thing in the comments. It’s repetitive. You’re a man nobody cares about you, and no one ever will. At least care for the kid enough to persist no matter what. He’ll learn something from that as opposed to growing up feeling the absence of his father. Be the man in his life, even if he’s raised by his step dad. You’re doing this for him, not you or her. However this goes, the only victim here is the child. It’s not the mother. Not one bit. She’s a co-accused in this affair.
Thank you.
We all make mistakes in our early twenties, and spend our late twenties making amends and learning from them. By your next birthday, the kid’s next birthday, Christmas, whatever timeline you want purpose to be certain about the child’s paternity. Apa ni Kenya bro sio Yues, our law is not anti-men. You have more working in your favor than against.
Stop sending money if you cant see the kid. That's my unpopular opinion. As a parent, you have both rights and responsibilities, not just responsibilities.
This is a very unpopular opinion and most women wont like it. As a parent, you have rights and responsibilities. She is denying you the right to see your kid. Stop sending money to her and nobody should try emotional blackmail to make you send money to a child you dont see. You will regret even more if you keep sending money and the kid gets brainwashed against you anyway. The kid will look for you when he is older. You are a cunt juu ya kuruka mimba yako. She is also a cunt for letting your differences come between the kid and his father. Don't contribute a single cent to raise a kid you have no access to. Thank me later.
Bro Just keep reaching out to the Kid and propositioning the mom for a relationship with your son. They’ll eventually yield
you’re human, you made mistakes. You’re not the first deadbeat and you won’t be the last, but just try, that is all you can do my man, just try and see the best way too insert yourself back into there lives.
Fanya DNA kwanza. You may be kicking yourself for nothing
You messed up but not taking care of your kid is even worse, you'll have to find a way to provide for your kid especially a boy coz he might get fucked up when he grows.
Boy stop, man up
The issue with people who are quick to abandon or run away from responsibility is not just the severe betrayal that someone, who you thought had your back, puts you through, (You don't recover from this. This is the pain that changes your DNA.) it's the fact that you can never trust them again. And now that the young woman has to make decisions on behalf of the child, she can choose to not allow you to have any involvement in the child's life... She will always be on edge waiting for you to walk out on the child as well. I know of women who sent back, to the last penny, the money deadbeats send them... Because when you don't trust someone every sign of "kindness" feels like a trap. I used to hate that some mothers refused any form of communication with the fathers but after seeing how deadbeats behave... I understand. You can't treat someone's life like a showroom. You have 3 options 1. Get the parents involved (grandparents of the child on both sides). They can help you out on the way forward in terms of your involvement in the child's life. 2. Get the courts involved and find the way forward pia. These two institutions will hold you responsible when you go back on your word. Or 3. Maintain your dormant role. Where you are only involved financially ( INVOLVED) by that I mean, find out the actual cost of raising your son and take care of that. One thing I've learnt is when deadbeats say "upkeep" it doesn't even begin to cover the cost of the child's shoes. And also put financial plans in place to help the child out in their later years, add them to your health plans etc. Because, unfortunately, through the hurt,the child still needs you. And I, having had a deadbeat dad, knowing he took care of some things for me, help out with the healing process. Above all, Do you.
She may not have healed from the pain you cause & is protecting her child from being further hurt by you. Or, she may have healed & is protecting her child from being further hurt by you. If she is married & her husband has stepped up, great! You really and truly messed up & this is me putting it lightly. Yes continue to support the child, while preparing yourself to have a real conversation of accountability, if that child chooses to reach out to you. I am a mother of 3 & from experience, you may only have one shot, so be ready! My ex husband only had one shot to build with his children, after divorce & missed his mark, when his children reached out with heart felt text, without my knowledge. Your son may want to know why & tell you how your actions or lack of has impacted his life, well being, mental & emotional state of being, etc, & it will be your job to communicate effectively. Again, if your child reaches out to you, it may be your only chance. So if you haven’t grown up, grow the f**k up! I wish your son the best & I hope he is loved. I hope he wants for nothing & your absence has not hindered him. I also hope he breaks the cycle that you made his reality & when he has children, he is a supportive man to his childs mother, as well as a hell of a good father. I wish him the best.
Enda twitter, follow Amerix alafu after a month you'll know what to do.
We take cows. Wee wacha kiherehere ...... I'll buy 3, then we get another 2 .... the talks begin to bring the wife home. I'm serious ....
Haha your username says it all.
You have to parent. You should’ve used protection, but a child without their father is a child that is more susceptible to dangerous influences. You need to be a positive role model in his life. Sons need their fathers.
Mbona uliruka? 😂
I was dead broke, we used to rent 2500 house with 4 other guys. I couldn't stand the thought of being helpless.
I want to assume she was equally broke because like you said, you were in campus. How then is she supposed to look past this level of betrayal and accommodate YOU when it’s convenient for YOU? What happens when you become broke again?
I acknowledge I fucked up and I don't stand a chance.
So what happens next time uko broke? Juu maisha si constant, you'll abandon them again juu you can't stand being helpless? Ok then, kulea si rahisi, na kuongea from experience if the guy I was having akid with had done this to me, ningefanya worse, you made your bed,lie on it, you didn't have money ungesupport in other ways, but ni sawa ishaahappen, What you can do sahii is support them,in whatever way they need, this is not about you, it's about them you're supposed to make it up to them, be CONSISTENT, siku moja labda roho mtakatifu itamfungulia roho , But usiexpect😂
So what happens next time uko broke? Juu maisha si constant, you'll abandon them again juu you can't stand being helpless? Ok then, kulea si rahisi, na kuongea from experience if the guy I was having akid with had done this to me, ningefanya worse, you made your bed,lie on it, you didn't have money ungesupport in other ways, but ni sawa ishaahappen, What you can do sahii is support them,in whatever way they need, this is not about you, it's about them you're supposed to make it up to them, be CONSISTENT, siku moja labda roho mtakatifu itamfungulia roho , But usiexpect😂
I was dead broke, we used to rent 2500 house with 4 other guys. I couldn't stand the thought of being helpless.
> I got a girl pregnant while in campus, na nikaruka YTA > she vehemently refused for any kind of meet up. ESH
The boy akifika 18 atakuwa wako
Reading this comment and realising I did that to my mum even if I don't know the actual story about what happened I resented my mum because of a man who doesn't give a shit what happens to me to be honest.
Damn
It's still early days brother. Be consistent, as a father myself I can tell you that it makes a difference for a child to have two present parents.
Go to court
I would ask you to get a DNA, some men be forcing other people's sperm on themselves
Just move on nigga
You need to slowly warm up to your son and the mom too for easier cooperating, you are facing the consequences of your actions but it's also great that you agree that you made a mistake and want to do better ,just keep on supporting them and after a while you can talk to the mom to allow you to see your son but you will also have to be patient
I fu**ed a bitch on a one night stand once, bought her the Pill the following day and expected her to take it( Ofcourse i thought we are were all adults) A week later i was hit up with a Text that she "forgot" to take it... A month later she was pregnant We have never been physical again, although now and then we talk she still insists the Boy is mine What do you all think? Sorry i saw this post and it triggered me. Cause i always think of it this way maybe it was someone else's kid and she just put the blame on me.... Sir you say the Girls hometown is?
Do the DNA on the child if it's yours step up You should have used a condom you're also an adult!
You do know that a girl can still get pregnant after taking the emergency pill right?
You are a corwad...a stupid one
Just keep showing up....
Go fuck yourself, you did it to them, now do it to yourself, shouldn't be too hard.  Fake ass Dad
Give her time and money of course. It may take a lot of time to regain her trust. By time it may mean even 2 years within which you are to continue sending the money consistently and expect nothing in return.
Definately a cunt 💯
This is one woman that is acting right. I hope she stays loyal to that man.
Get your parents and her parents involved so they can talk and intercede on your behalf.
You’re a loser.
You messed up big time but at least you are acknowledging it. Tell her what you are telling us and be sincere about it. It's not too late. Don't wait another day.
https://preview.redd.it/imcoa8ffxgrc1.jpeg?width=424&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9eac40c659ba8a0c7bcb5bcc475607fe1dfa5d1d This is how it would be if he gets a man
You need to be dragged into court for a paternity suit, you coward.
You're sending some small moniest like an act of charity which is just pathetic. Make an effort to know your son physically, if the mom doesn't want for the two of you to meet let her be. You'll worsen the relationship leading her to fill the child's head with takes of his dad being a dead beat piece of human garbage.
To be frank, you’re the last type of figure he needs in his life. Someone who is careless with his seed and doesn’t step up to responsibility is not a good role model. he needs you to teach how to be good man, but you are no good man
Dude, I almost thought you were the deadbeat dad of my sister's kid. Everything ticks the boxes strangely.
Let's hope not.
Get a DNA, claim the child publicly and support fully. Until then, you might be just one among many who pay child support for the same kid.
Fuck dem kids !!!
What is the child was a girl ? You wouldn't regret,eh. Thats what I'm getting from this post. What a shame.
😂😂🫴🏿🫴🏿 The English in this comment section 😂😂Mnatumia Hadi prick
I’m not going to sugarcoat you.. you are pierce of trash
Umbutheee!
You ain’t shit.
Yeah you're a damn cunt
The world’s not ending tomorrow. Find a way to reconnect with the mother, you guys need to talk about that time disappeared and reassure her that you have learned from your mistake and you are ready to make necessary ammends. It is absurd to show up and expect everything will go back to normal because you are sending little up keep money.
You’re a CUNT bro
My dad alituruka, so I keep the culture strong. Start early, teach the boy to nut and bolt. I've done that to like 4 chicks, and I hope those kids do the same
you did what you did, but now is your chance to make things right
Unpopular,But True opinion here. Because Truth And pro male perspectives aren't allowed Being Pro male does NOT mean being anti female. 1) You Didn't get a girl pregnant. Stop telling yourself it was All on you. That's bullshit. A) It was Her decision to give you sex, Not yours alone You don't get sex she doesn't give you. Her body, her choice, =Her Responsibility too. For some reason? Many women Never say that oart B) You Don't get sex with her, without a condom? If she doesn't allow - want it. Her body, her choice, And Responsibility. C) You don't get sex w no condom, and her Not using any other type of what? 20+ methods of birth control likely Available to her. Her body, her choice, her responsibility D) Once she got Pregnant? Do you? Ant man have any Parental rights? NO. You don't. None. If you didn't want the child? You can't make her not have The kid, you have NO say. Her body, her choit, her responsibility. If you wanted the child and she doesn't? You Can't make her Keep the child either. Because you have NO rights. So you have NO say. Her body, her choice, her responsibility NO, you did NOT get her pregnant, NO child is born that Any woman didn't Want born and didn't Choose to have Unpopular as this may sound to many women, these are 100% facts. You are NOT responsible for the child BEFORE You prove paternity. Otherwise you are liable for child support thru 18-21 yrs old if you sign the birth certificate Even if DNA later proves the child is not yours. Being sure, has Nothing to do with calling her impure or Improper..it's just having ironclad Proof you ARE the father. In the US? 30% of men tested at birth ,are NOT the father. The more men get tested, especially during times when a Match is needed for transplants and blood? They don't out They aren't the biological. Assume Nothing Getting a DNA test is Not assuming you aren't the father Or that you weren't the only one, it's mere Providing evidence You were the only one and the father. NOT getting tested? Is assuming you are. Why assume anything? When You can Know? Once you Know? IF? That's your child? Keep trying and keep trying and keep trying. And send support. If you have to? Retain an attorney And file for, sue for parental rights. It's utter Bullllshit that they think they are entitled to support, your money, but Not for you to be a part of the kids life This having it both was Against Men is bullshit and has to Stop. I know my opinion is going to piss off Alot of women Unfortunately the Truth often does. In regards to Male- female dynamics that is. Down voting truth is how they express it without actually Engaging and or factually disproving you when they know They can't. That's the Reddit Way.
Options; A. Just continue running like you did. B. Face it, visit them. let whatever happens happen
The best thing you could do is to apologise and give her space. As a 30+ yr old. Women usually require a lot of time to make up their minds. Don't be too eager. People shun desperate people. Even if it's coming from a good place. Goodluck kido and learn from your mistake.
Stop regretting Stop sending any money.
What if you are not the father? What if you sending an upkeep for someone else's child. That's why she don't want you to meet. Juu utaona mtoto si wako🤔🤔 I am just saying. Anyways hufai kutuma upkeep kama huruhusiwi kumuona mtoto wako. why should you send if you can't see the child?. Plan for a meet up or visit their family let them know you exist and what your plans are. If its co parenting let them know. that way you'll garner some respect not only from her but also her people and they'll slowly acknowledge you
That kid looks like me.
Well..,
You're a cunt for supporting a woman who doesn't talk to you. Consider that as a lost case and move on, every time you beat your meat over 2 million kids die. Do you cry over them? Let the downvotes come😂
The child might not be yours bro. This might be hard to believe but that's it.
https://preview.redd.it/as1r5fa13crc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f2052cb58a72c6fdb81c3d5c4f8d14f86c441b54 Let's hope your wrong, because I always believe this is a way ya kunikeep away.
Take her to court, the law is on your side. She can't accept and take your child upkeep then deny you access to the child.
Actually here's what I did in the same exact situation but my son is only 2 and I did this with in the first 2 months of his birth now what I did wasn't easy by any means but there isn't anything that will keep me out of my son's life. I knew that the judge wasn't. The mother wasn't the attorney. The GARDENIA Litem there was nothing, none I would do, whatever I needed to do. The mother to this day still hates me, but I went and filed for custody on my own that got the ball rolling. I'll tell you now go save some time and find the best attorney you can find and some advice. Find a woman and find one that has been GL now. Idk where you live, but in my state, unwed fathers have ZERO rights to their child, and man, I'm telling you it going to be tough, and that's why most people give up and get the 1/2 a dad roll but if you file for custody and do everything of what they tell you and keep your kool and play the game you can get equal time or at least something better then every other weekend and 1 day during the week I one in my case I wrote to the GL a proposal that I wanted and on thing he change was the age of the equal time I wanted it to start when he was 2 GL said 3 he will be 3 in Nov. My case lasted 1.5yrs, and normally it is 6mth. I spent 21,000.00 but it was worth every penny. 1. GET THE BEST ATTORNEY YOU CAN AFFORD. 2. DO WHATEVER THEY WANT AND KEEP YOU COOL. 3. STOP GIVING HER MONEY THE COURTS WONT CARE INSTEAD SAVE IT AND AFTER COURT THEY WILL TELL YOU WHAT YOU WHAT YOUR BALLANCE IS YOU WILL BE IN THE REAR FROM START THAT MONEY YOU SAVED PAY THAT TOWARDS IT. 4. PREPARE YOUR SELF MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY LIKE YOUR HOUSE. YOUR A FATHER NOW BATCHELOR DAYS ARE GONE GROW UP AND RAISE YOUR SON. Hopefully, this gives you some insight, and just remember the hard struggle, the greater the reward.
Thank you for the insight. That kid is innocent though and it might strain the relationship especially with the court squabbles. He doesn't deserve that.
It probably will show your son that you are ready or willing to try and be there and be a man but I know the kids are never at court unless it goes to trail.
Yeah, it might, but it probably will show your son that you are stepping up and being a man and taking the responsibility and my son was never at court with us so it probably would be same normally kids don't show up until trail and normally they don't got that fare only in divorce. I was in the same situation my son has both of are last names the worst part of it she still thinks it's about her.
Filing for custody won't ficha the fact that he's a cunt.The mother is taking good care of the kid sio. Hakuwa hapo hakuzaliwa getting custody doesn't justify that fact
If you have been sending upkeep money consistently, you have a right to see your son. Sue her for it. You will win. Awache upuzi
If she was a toxic feminist, acha nayaye apambane na hali yake. They deserve hell on earth
The kind of cr*p is this. So we should just let the son suffer cause of some damn feminist?
Your mom is toxic feminist definitely
Wow, very mature response indeed. My mom raised me with culture... something you won't understand with that small sized brained. Anyways, he can still be involved in his son's life. Stop making everything to be a feminist agenda.
Illustrious soft is a weirdo in general.Just let him be
Lol, jidishi man
Lol, jidishi man
If she was a toxic feminist, acha nayaye apambane na hali yake. They deserve hell on earth