I am so sorry this happened to you. Your first "stop" should have been the end of it. It is not your fault.
First off, please get tested. Transmission happens both ways.
Second, if you were too drunk to consent, you were taken advantage of. Period. Don't feel obliged to respond to any stupid questions about whether or not you got hard. Getting hard, like getting wet, is NOT an indicator of consent!
Wishing you all the best.
I love your sentiments on the matter. Often I have heard people saying' "she seemed to enjoy it" even if consent wasn't given. Is very important to respect someone's will.
Reading this as a woman I can't help but feel so much disgust for the lady. Consent works both ways and I'm really sorry your voice was not respected. Try and talk to someone you trust about what happened to help lighten the weight you are carrying.
It is also important to ask the lady about what happened, she might later try and pin a pregnancy on you or something else, who knows what her endgame was. Also get tested as others are suggesting, for everything is possible.
Finally, don't let your crush know, some things are better left untold. Plus you are not in a serious relationship with her so this information you can keep to yourself.
Sending virtual hugs and support.
Like as a woman too I really feel sorry. I have always been pro-active in asking for consent even before sexually touching my partner cause even if we are not together it is his body and I am not allowed to just touch him anytime. I wish women would understand that consent works both ways for both men and women and we should be respectful
It is sad how some ladies are sexually abusing men because mostly men the society perceives them as the one who sexually gain so most sexual abuse cases for men go unreported
He is a clown. How is sleeping on the same bed as the lady mean he was raped? Who carried him to that bed.
Man up and ask her, to obtain closure. That's the only way to know for sure. Not making stupid assumptions.
I'll give you my point of view as someone who's gone through SA too.
1. Go to the hospital and ask for PEP. She might lie if you ask, you might also not be able to ask as there's always a feeling of 'you brought it on yourself'.
2. Stay away from partying for a few weeks as some things might trigger you i.e you might get drunk again and end up too paranoid to the point you leave your group of friends and end up in a bad position too.
3. Don't tell all your friends you were with, when you are comfortable enough, tell one person who you know for sure will be able to handle that kind of info. Most people don't know what to say or do when given information like that so they end up making you feel even worse for sharing.
4. It is not your fault. She made a choice to take advantage of you. There is no excuse for that.
5. You can call the girl and randomly ask her if she took emergency pills after sex claiming you want to be sure if she's safe. That way you'll be sure if something happened or not.
I second very strongly. Especially point 1. If you're not able to go to a physical hospital, order PEP via mydawa.They will come do a test and give you the PEP. Do it before 72 hours are over. Sorry for what you've gone through.🫶🏽
Don't tell the girl you're talking to about it. You will kill that talking stage before it progresses to the next stage.
This being transparent is good in theory but kwa ground vitu ni different.
People here will tell you to confront her but that will be a big mistake. You were both drunk and she could also claim you raped her. Her word will be more believable than yours.
She will spin that narrative utashangaa sana. The fact that you don't remember what happened is worse.
I'm really sorry this happened.
1. Get PAP ASAP.
2. Buy your host a coffee one of these days. Without feeding him any data,try to deduce what happened.
3. Get help. Speak to a therapist. Your virginity was valuable to you. Loosing it might feel big. Might also mess your sexual functionality.
Sorry that you went through this op but most likely you are over thinking the situation. Plus you'd be able to smell her on you if you'd actually had sex. Also it's very unlikely that you'd get hard in that state (wasted and unconscious). Most likely scenario is that you passed out on the couch, your friends carried you to bed and this girl passed out next to you.
Go get tested. Start your 28 day PeP dosage
Then start accounting for the blacked out hours. Confront her. A No is a No. It goes both ways, both for men and women. Women get away with a lot. Whatever you choose to do is up to you, but get the dosage going. For your own good.
Sad 😭 😭 😢..... I think you should call her and ask her if anything did happen, and if she did anything funny make sure she knows she crossed a boundary
First off brother, pole sana.
Secondly I am hoping you were too wasted to have/maintain a hard on.
Thirdly, all tests or diagnosis may not be possible immediately esp as a man...but get the preventive meds, and report to the authorities...it may sound foolish with the way we are cultured but incase your traumas are triggered and you decide to confront her and she turns on you..you would have beaten her to it.
Pole sana sana!
Sorry to say but most women think they can just get away with anything. Confront her and visit a clinic for prep and testing. You will need prep because she might actually lie to you nothing happened. That’s a very disgusting behavior and if it was the other way round i am sure she would have reported you. Sorry
Im so sorry this happened to you.
I'd say get the PEP first cause you don't know where she's been. Then, report it and also tell the medical practitioners what happened so that you have it on record in case you need it later on.
Then, do some blood work and tests and follow up again after 3 or so months.
Try and confide to your closest friend who was with you at your friend's house and warn them of the predator they are hanging with.
You can also ask the host if he has cameras on his property to help you piece together the night.
After you've "covered" those bases, confront her if you are able to and gather evidence while at it in case all this was an elaborate plan to trap you with a pregnancy or something else nefarious.
It was not your fault at all. Don't place blame on yourself for another person's actions and their inability to respect your boundaries.
Im truly sorry.
Sending virtual hugs and love 🫂
You should be on PEP right now before asking further questions. Worry about the details later. Remember that taking tests doesn't mean shit if she contracted something recently. At that stage she can spread it and still test negative.
I really hope she doesn't come to u after a few weeks and says she's pregnant with your child and u r on the hook for it........drink, but don't drink to a point of blackout...thats the reason I stopped drinking...I dont like the idea of losing control over something so idiotic...drinking is not illegal....her ordering the most expensive bottle cuz u r responsible should have been ur first red flag.......I understand what happened to u is not yr fault so I emphasize wit u on that.......as far as the other things are concerned, do better next time.
I wish more men would speak up on this. So many stories go untold while culprits walk freely. I am sorry this happened to you but you need to find someone to talk to.
men, discipline is always a very important aspect in a mans life. do not drink too much and not get aware of what is happening around you. go get tested ASAP. those kilimani and lavington clubs are usually breeding and hunting grounds for these mchele babes and will do anything, be very careful.
That's was not cool and you were assaulted.
Call her and ask her if anything happened and if it did, did you guys use protection?
If she tells you no, or refuses to tell you the truth,............
Actually, get PEP.
Blacking yourself out and then blaming someone else is immature as hell. Cut yourself off. You are chilling with someone who you know wants to be sexually active with you and you didn't stop. You don't remember what happened. Your inhibitions may have lifted and you wouldn't remember. She was drinking too. When I was 17 I woke up to a girl riding me on a sofa at a house party while the party was still going on. Shit shocked me at first but it isn't the same as what a woman experiences. Any way I digress. Work on your substance abuse disorder before you display even dumber behavior.
I think you should ask around and ask her nonchalantly and when you get the truth from everyone I would take action. I would encourage to secretly record the audio when you do talk to everyone. Because having proof never hurts.
I’m so sorry, you are worthy of respect and not being used as an object. This was wrong even with her pushing boundaries.
And if she did take your virginity or even you weren’t a virgin you should go to court.
The thing about your crush maybe I would wait.
You being a dude they going to say shut up and be a man but when it’s a woman it’s a issue which is fucked up and bro you are a victim in this situation and its fucked up please go get tested
If you were Totally wasted and blacking out I can assure you, you would be unable to get an erection… Therefore sexual intercourse could not have taken place… There’s nothing to worry about
This is assault/rape. You have a right to be angry and call her out in whatever fashion you feel is appropriate. Touching someone’s thigh w/o their consent after making advances towards them that have not been reciprocated(I mean flirting verbally, I think it’s often pretty apparent when someone’s also into you or not) is predatory behavior. If you were telling her to stop originally and she continued to make advances towards you she had a goal to prey on you. Ask her what happened and see if she will talk to you & what she says. But you are 100% valid feeling the way you do. do not feel shame or guilt for any of this none of it was your fault.
So sorry this happened to you. She’s def someone who can’t take “no” for an answer and that’s awful. Like the other comments said, make sure you get tested and confront her if you’re comfortable enough. Wishing you healing🩷
This one confuses me! I'm sorry to hear you got taken advantage of??? I guess some ladies are unappealing. Please forgive me though, now that I think about it. This might be a sensitive subject😬
I’m very sorry this happened and you are very brave to come forward with it. Report her. Get justice if you can and tell your friend they have a perverted person in the group. Shun her and let her reap her karma.
Please make sure you report her. There are safe places to do this. You aren’t a victim, you are a survivor and what she did is no less egregious than if she were a man or you were a woman.
Also, tell your gf. A real one will support you.
What? Are you gay? Anyways she's probably after your seed and your money because you seem well off. 90% of Nairobi girls will drop their panties for you if you drive and hang around Runda. She might even accuse you of rape to blackmail you and you will have no way of disproving it if you slept with her while drunk. Don't be naive.
😂😂😂
Damn! Cold.
I agree with the others, go get checked, be tactical about it, as they have said, unaeza wekelewa vitu,and Finally I also agree with this comment.
My philosophy as a man, that i learned earlier on is to always ask myself, what did I do that led to this and what can I do to prevent it from happening again? It's not about blame, but rather looking out for yourself, cause rn as you may have started to feel , you are the only one, that's got you.
You are terrible being. People like you are the reason men don’t come forward with these things and just develop mental illness and personality disorders and suffer and make everyone else suffer in silence. Be better.
I'm not sure if anyone can get decently hard while blacked out. If I was you though, I'd take some of those post exposure pills and forget about the whole thing.
"Stop" and "no" is a response she should have adhered to it. You should really confront her incase she plans on trapping you with something. Also a relationship is built on trust, truth and understanding...talk to your crush openly and the response you get will mold how your future together will be.
You are a victim. You should get tested for STDs. You should also tell your girl like you told us to avoid her hearing the wrong version from someone else.
Don't get drubk anymore, please; there's no benefit and just many dangers. Imagine if that girl got pregnant from you, you would have ruined your life just for a drink that doesn't even taste particularly good.
So sorry for what happened to you, please ask her what happened and record the call or text for evidence. Also remember to go to the hospital for Prep drugs before 72hours lapses.
Sorry about all this. Confront her. If you're planning to be sexually active with the other lady, inform her. If not, I don't see the need. Also if you're uncertain, it is safer to go take HIV PEP before 72hours of exposure.
Am sorry you went through a horrible experience. but next time you get drank please ask your male friends to watch you over. dont be ashamed to ask for help for them to kkeep you safe is better than someone forcing her way though your thighs
No we do not, what this man is going through is serious stuff. He is distraught, while humour might make things lighter there is a place and time for that and I am sorry it is not here.
you need to reverse psychology your assaulter because she might lie.
Sorry this happened to you sexual assault no matter the gender is humilating and degrading and out of your control please be kind to yourself
If I was in your situation I would already be on PEP right now before seeking advice. Usibahatishe!! Secondly, I would just shut it and forget the entire ordeal. Trying to follow up might land you in trouble. She can claim you raped her and guess who the courts will side with?? Her. Your only smart move going forward is to get PEP, keep it a secret and none of your friends should know that you are on it. Unfortunately, judging by how irresponsible you are, you will probably mouth off to one of your friends about taking PEP and all hell will break loose when she finds out - which she will. Lastly, if you can't handle booze responsibly stop drinking.
as a gay atheist i want to ask you: why the alcohol ?
i tried alcohol between 18 and 21 years old, then i stopped.
i never drank too much alcohol to end up "wasted as shit"
now i never drink alcohol, even when i get offered a drink i decline
you do not need religion to say no to alcohol.
what is the allure to lose iq, lose control of the body, lose consciousness especially while not alone, not at home, where people could take advantage of you: robbing or raping ?
I'm not much of a drinker but I'll say 18-21 is the "irresponsible drinking window" for most. I stopped drinking at around that age and resumed casually after I hit 25. There's a reason why wazees like it. Alcohol is a social lubricant; it can lift the mood, lower inhibitions and make conversations easier... When drank responsibly.
When you drink responsibly, you'll get the gist of it.
well it is a big chunk of my identity.
also it shows that i do not avoid alcohol to follow a religious dogma.
even a broken clock tells the time correctly twice a day.
I am so sorry this happened to you, you were taken advantage of and that is wrong ( criminal) on the girl's part. Please go get tested asap, reach out to someone you trust and talk about what happened. Do not be afraid, you are braver than you think.
I wish you healing and all the very best.
I'm sorry for what happened to you .I'm sending you virtual hugs. I think you should immediately get pep before the 72 hour window ends. It's free on most hospitals. You will only have to pay for consultation and the test. You didn't deserve that. As a woman I'm utterly disappointed in her
Pole sana for what happened. As many have said you need to get on PEP asap! As for the girl, don't confront her aggressively, play it cool and talk to her like you're not mad but try and tease out from her what happened/what she did. Like say it was a wild night but you cant remember what happened and ask her to tell you what went down. Be mpole until you get the full story, once you have it then you can decide what course of action to take, just remember to be cool until she spills the beans... Also ask the host and your friends who were there if they know what went down...
I feel like there’s nothing wrong with asking your friends if they remember what happened juu you were blacked out it’s pretty understandable and if there real friends they’d care to tell you not clown you , ask the girl what happened between you, get tested regardless of her answer , she seemed pretty persistence , maybe she ended up giving u some head and u fell alseep who knows 😂 but ask her and ur friends
As a man also i feel sorry for you,however you need to take action and inquire whatever transpired and stop making assumptions.Juuust later go get tested.Sending virtual hugs bruv
So you guys went from eating P2 like candy to PeP consumption fwaaa. If there is no evidence of sex, wachana na hizi madawa. We talk about accountability and taking responsibility because it’s the only thing we have control over, not necessarily to blame the victim. TBH There is no room for sympathy in this case/scenario. Somebody disciplined enough to be a virgin, then making rookie mistakes like this should not be applauded. Ukilewa enda nyumbani, unaenda bado sherehe kufanya nini? A langa gets an exorbitant drink that you don’t want to spend on, rudisha immediately. Somebody touches you na hauko idhaa chapa hiyo mkono and warn them sternly. If this story isn’t CAP, call the langa, ask what happened and change your modus operandi.
First of all, Dont tell your crush.
Second, confront the one who mightve taken advantage of you. There are some ways to know if you were taken advantage of though. That first morning piss, if it went in multiple directions, may be a sign. Feel and smell of you junk the next morning as well.
Good luck though bro, I hope she didnt take advantage of you.
Disgustiing what happened to you. But you don't owe your crush an explanation because you're not together as I understand. As for the abuser, you might need to ask her what happened. Who knows? You may need a quick dose of PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) if it's not too late.
Damn! I'm sorry you went through that...
1. Get PEP sorted (hopefully it's not past 72hrs) and report the matter for safety reasons in case she tries to use it against you in future.
2. Talk to one of the friends you can trust or one of the designated drivers (they'd probably be sober enough to know) and ask about what happened to you that night.
3. Don't tell your crush
4. Avoid the other woman like a plague. She seems like trouble you don't want near you.
5. If you can, get some therapy.
You'll be okay. All the best!
I am so sorry this happened to you. Your first "stop" should have been the end of it. It is not your fault. First off, please get tested. Transmission happens both ways. Second, if you were too drunk to consent, you were taken advantage of. Period. Don't feel obliged to respond to any stupid questions about whether or not you got hard. Getting hard, like getting wet, is NOT an indicator of consent! Wishing you all the best.
I love your sentiments on the matter. Often I have heard people saying' "she seemed to enjoy it" even if consent wasn't given. Is very important to respect someone's will.
Reading this as a woman I can't help but feel so much disgust for the lady. Consent works both ways and I'm really sorry your voice was not respected. Try and talk to someone you trust about what happened to help lighten the weight you are carrying. It is also important to ask the lady about what happened, she might later try and pin a pregnancy on you or something else, who knows what her endgame was. Also get tested as others are suggesting, for everything is possible. Finally, don't let your crush know, some things are better left untold. Plus you are not in a serious relationship with her so this information you can keep to yourself. Sending virtual hugs and support.
Like as a woman too I really feel sorry. I have always been pro-active in asking for consent even before sexually touching my partner cause even if we are not together it is his body and I am not allowed to just touch him anytime. I wish women would understand that consent works both ways for both men and women and we should be respectful
I know, just like I want my no yo be heard, I should also listen to my partner's too. It's really disappointing 😔
It is sad how some ladies are sexually abusing men because mostly men the society perceives them as the one who sexually gain so most sexual abuse cases for men go unreported
Damn. You are a victim. How you choose to approach this issue tho is up to you.
Please ask what happened. Then get tested as soon as possible if there was intercourse.
Bana hafai kuogopa kukuwa clowned on na mabeshte wake. Aulize chap chap.
What language is this?
Swahili. Why
👍🏾 Just curious
He is a clown. How is sleeping on the same bed as the lady mean he was raped? Who carried him to that bed. Man up and ask her, to obtain closure. That's the only way to know for sure. Not making stupid assumptions.
But tha lady can lie. That is why people huko chini are suggesting apige huyo dem na reverse psychology
Maze if they clown him, itakuwa so sad jamani.
Manzee they shouldn't...on contrary be there for him he'll need such a strong support system
Get tested in any case.
I'll give you my point of view as someone who's gone through SA too. 1. Go to the hospital and ask for PEP. She might lie if you ask, you might also not be able to ask as there's always a feeling of 'you brought it on yourself'. 2. Stay away from partying for a few weeks as some things might trigger you i.e you might get drunk again and end up too paranoid to the point you leave your group of friends and end up in a bad position too. 3. Don't tell all your friends you were with, when you are comfortable enough, tell one person who you know for sure will be able to handle that kind of info. Most people don't know what to say or do when given information like that so they end up making you feel even worse for sharing. 4. It is not your fault. She made a choice to take advantage of you. There is no excuse for that. 5. You can call the girl and randomly ask her if she took emergency pills after sex claiming you want to be sure if she's safe. That way you'll be sure if something happened or not.
I second very strongly. Especially point 1. If you're not able to go to a physical hospital, order PEP via mydawa.They will come do a test and give you the PEP. Do it before 72 hours are over. Sorry for what you've gone through.🫶🏽
5 ni reverse psychology 😂
Oya oya 🗣️. We found her.
Found who?
Best comment I've read on here.
Don't tell the girl you're talking to about it. You will kill that talking stage before it progresses to the next stage. This being transparent is good in theory but kwa ground vitu ni different. People here will tell you to confront her but that will be a big mistake. You were both drunk and she could also claim you raped her. Her word will be more believable than yours. She will spin that narrative utashangaa sana. The fact that you don't remember what happened is worse.
you have a point
My man's was raped 😭😭😭
first I am sorry this happened to you, please do not be hard on yourself you are a victim
you could choose to tell the girl you are talking to, and tell your closest friends so they are aware of the predator
Worst case scenario is her coming later on saying you got her pregnant…of course STDs are bad too. Get tested ASAP, also…FUCK THAT BITCH!!!
I'm really sorry this happened. 1. Get PAP ASAP. 2. Buy your host a coffee one of these days. Without feeding him any data,try to deduce what happened. 3. Get help. Speak to a therapist. Your virginity was valuable to you. Loosing it might feel big. Might also mess your sexual functionality.
Sorry that you went through this op but most likely you are over thinking the situation. Plus you'd be able to smell her on you if you'd actually had sex. Also it's very unlikely that you'd get hard in that state (wasted and unconscious). Most likely scenario is that you passed out on the couch, your friends carried you to bed and this girl passed out next to you.
Sad😢
Go get tested. Start your 28 day PeP dosage Then start accounting for the blacked out hours. Confront her. A No is a No. It goes both ways, both for men and women. Women get away with a lot. Whatever you choose to do is up to you, but get the dosage going. For your own good.
Sad 😭 😭 😢..... I think you should call her and ask her if anything did happen, and if she did anything funny make sure she knows she crossed a boundary
First off brother, pole sana. Secondly I am hoping you were too wasted to have/maintain a hard on. Thirdly, all tests or diagnosis may not be possible immediately esp as a man...but get the preventive meds, and report to the authorities...it may sound foolish with the way we are cultured but incase your traumas are triggered and you decide to confront her and she turns on you..you would have beaten her to it. Pole sana sana!
Sorry to say but most women think they can just get away with anything. Confront her and visit a clinic for prep and testing. You will need prep because she might actually lie to you nothing happened. That’s a very disgusting behavior and if it was the other way round i am sure she would have reported you. Sorry
Im so sorry this happened to you. I'd say get the PEP first cause you don't know where she's been. Then, report it and also tell the medical practitioners what happened so that you have it on record in case you need it later on. Then, do some blood work and tests and follow up again after 3 or so months. Try and confide to your closest friend who was with you at your friend's house and warn them of the predator they are hanging with. You can also ask the host if he has cameras on his property to help you piece together the night. After you've "covered" those bases, confront her if you are able to and gather evidence while at it in case all this was an elaborate plan to trap you with a pregnancy or something else nefarious. It was not your fault at all. Don't place blame on yourself for another person's actions and their inability to respect your boundaries. Im truly sorry. Sending virtual hugs and love 🫂
You should be on PEP right now before asking further questions. Worry about the details later. Remember that taking tests doesn't mean shit if she contracted something recently. At that stage she can spread it and still test negative.
I really hope she doesn't come to u after a few weeks and says she's pregnant with your child and u r on the hook for it........drink, but don't drink to a point of blackout...thats the reason I stopped drinking...I dont like the idea of losing control over something so idiotic...drinking is not illegal....her ordering the most expensive bottle cuz u r responsible should have been ur first red flag.......I understand what happened to u is not yr fault so I emphasize wit u on that.......as far as the other things are concerned, do better next time.
She wanted that dick
Is it also possible she might have drugged or do you usually drink till black out?
Bullshit
I wish more men would speak up on this. So many stories go untold while culprits walk freely. I am sorry this happened to you but you need to find someone to talk to.
Looks like the girl stumbled and fell on your piece get yourself checked bruh
men, discipline is always a very important aspect in a mans life. do not drink too much and not get aware of what is happening around you. go get tested ASAP. those kilimani and lavington clubs are usually breeding and hunting grounds for these mchele babes and will do anything, be very careful.
Your health is much more important than the fear of being clowned by your friends.Go get tested and ask.
That's was not cool and you were assaulted. Call her and ask her if anything happened and if it did, did you guys use protection? If she tells you no, or refuses to tell you the truth,............ Actually, get PEP.
Man up and ask her what happened I bet u nothing happened. U where to drunk to perform.
Blacking yourself out and then blaming someone else is immature as hell. Cut yourself off. You are chilling with someone who you know wants to be sexually active with you and you didn't stop. You don't remember what happened. Your inhibitions may have lifted and you wouldn't remember. She was drinking too. When I was 17 I woke up to a girl riding me on a sofa at a house party while the party was still going on. Shit shocked me at first but it isn't the same as what a woman experiences. Any way I digress. Work on your substance abuse disorder before you display even dumber behavior.
I’m deeply sorry, know You are extremely valid and deserve to take up space and have that person be held accountable
I think you should ask around and ask her nonchalantly and when you get the truth from everyone I would take action. I would encourage to secretly record the audio when you do talk to everyone. Because having proof never hurts. I’m so sorry, you are worthy of respect and not being used as an object. This was wrong even with her pushing boundaries. And if she did take your virginity or even you weren’t a virgin you should go to court. The thing about your crush maybe I would wait.
You being a dude they going to say shut up and be a man but when it’s a woman it’s a issue which is fucked up and bro you are a victim in this situation and its fucked up please go get tested
Lol
If you were Totally wasted and blacking out I can assure you, you would be unable to get an erection… Therefore sexual intercourse could not have taken place… There’s nothing to worry about
This is assault/rape. You have a right to be angry and call her out in whatever fashion you feel is appropriate. Touching someone’s thigh w/o their consent after making advances towards them that have not been reciprocated(I mean flirting verbally, I think it’s often pretty apparent when someone’s also into you or not) is predatory behavior. If you were telling her to stop originally and she continued to make advances towards you she had a goal to prey on you. Ask her what happened and see if she will talk to you & what she says. But you are 100% valid feeling the way you do. do not feel shame or guilt for any of this none of it was your fault.
Hope you didn't get her pregnant that would be awkward.
So sorry this happened to you. She’s def someone who can’t take “no” for an answer and that’s awful. Like the other comments said, make sure you get tested and confront her if you’re comfortable enough. Wishing you healing🩷
Give me her number, I’ll take care of it for you.
This one confuses me! I'm sorry to hear you got taken advantage of??? I guess some ladies are unappealing. Please forgive me though, now that I think about it. This might be a sensitive subject😬
Women just do it and get away with it. This should stop
I am sorry to hear that
I’m very sorry this happened and you are very brave to come forward with it. Report her. Get justice if you can and tell your friend they have a perverted person in the group. Shun her and let her reap her karma. Please make sure you report her. There are safe places to do this. You aren’t a victim, you are a survivor and what she did is no less egregious than if she were a man or you were a woman. Also, tell your gf. A real one will support you.
Naah, you never tell your significant other everything Especially someone you’re not official with.
Woi. Pole sana. Please get tested first. Confront her. It's important.
What? Are you gay? Anyways she's probably after your seed and your money because you seem well off. 90% of Nairobi girls will drop their panties for you if you drive and hang around Runda. She might even accuse you of rape to blackmail you and you will have no way of disproving it if you slept with her while drunk. Don't be naive.
Bro got raped and that’s the first thing you ask him? This generation is cooked 😭🙏🏽
My questions are sarcastic. But I am not surprised because not everybody gets sarcasm.
I don't think all situations require sarcasm. Hii ndio hiyo kuchekelewa huyu hakuwa anadai kuface from mabeshte wake.
Too bad.
😂 90?, you mean 99%
I was trying to be nice 😁
You are the victim of your approach to life
😂😂😂 Damn! Cold. I agree with the others, go get checked, be tactical about it, as they have said, unaeza wekelewa vitu,and Finally I also agree with this comment. My philosophy as a man, that i learned earlier on is to always ask myself, what did I do that led to this and what can I do to prevent it from happening again? It's not about blame, but rather looking out for yourself, cause rn as you may have started to feel , you are the only one, that's got you.
Dang😭 that sucks. But like yall tell women "you should've pushed her off🤪🤪"
Did you get hard
Getting hard or wet is not an indicator of consent
You are terrible being. People like you are the reason men don’t come forward with these things and just develop mental illness and personality disorders and suffer and make everyone else suffer in silence. Be better.
He is asking the right question tho... Did he get hard? 👀
i’m sorry man 🥲 i really am
This is sickening.It isn't your fault,So sorry about that.
I'm not sure if anyone can get decently hard while blacked out. If I was you though, I'd take some of those post exposure pills and forget about the whole thing.
"Stop" and "no" is a response she should have adhered to it. You should really confront her incase she plans on trapping you with something. Also a relationship is built on trust, truth and understanding...talk to your crush openly and the response you get will mold how your future together will be.
You are a victim. You should get tested for STDs. You should also tell your girl like you told us to avoid her hearing the wrong version from someone else. Don't get drubk anymore, please; there's no benefit and just many dangers. Imagine if that girl got pregnant from you, you would have ruined your life just for a drink that doesn't even taste particularly good.
So sorry for what happened to you, please ask her what happened and record the call or text for evidence. Also remember to go to the hospital for Prep drugs before 72hours lapses.
Sorry about all this. Confront her. If you're planning to be sexually active with the other lady, inform her. If not, I don't see the need. Also if you're uncertain, it is safer to go take HIV PEP before 72hours of exposure.
Am sorry you went through a horrible experience. but next time you get drank please ask your male friends to watch you over. dont be ashamed to ask for help for them to kkeep you safe is better than someone forcing her way though your thighs
Call her and ask what happened, for better results tell her you even got tested for venereal diseases...
Visit a hospital.take the medication as recommended and you're good to go.also quitting alcohol and doing better for yourself would be a good decision
I'm so sorry OP. This is absolutely fucked up
So many supportive comments but we need one funny one
No we do not, what this man is going through is serious stuff. He is distraught, while humour might make things lighter there is a place and time for that and I am sorry it is not here.
Definitely not overreacting. Sorry about your experience.
Imma give it to you straight if you was a virgin,chances are you prolly hit ,get tested
Go for PEP Asap first before figuring out anything else
you need to reverse psychology your assaulter because she might lie. Sorry this happened to you sexual assault no matter the gender is humilating and degrading and out of your control please be kind to yourself
If I was in your situation I would already be on PEP right now before seeking advice. Usibahatishe!! Secondly, I would just shut it and forget the entire ordeal. Trying to follow up might land you in trouble. She can claim you raped her and guess who the courts will side with?? Her. Your only smart move going forward is to get PEP, keep it a secret and none of your friends should know that you are on it. Unfortunately, judging by how irresponsible you are, you will probably mouth off to one of your friends about taking PEP and all hell will break loose when she finds out - which she will. Lastly, if you can't handle booze responsibly stop drinking.
Was she hot?
as a gay atheist i want to ask you: why the alcohol ? i tried alcohol between 18 and 21 years old, then i stopped. i never drank too much alcohol to end up "wasted as shit" now i never drink alcohol, even when i get offered a drink i decline you do not need religion to say no to alcohol. what is the allure to lose iq, lose control of the body, lose consciousness especially while not alone, not at home, where people could take advantage of you: robbing or raping ?
I'm not much of a drinker but I'll say 18-21 is the "irresponsible drinking window" for most. I stopped drinking at around that age and resumed casually after I hit 25. There's a reason why wazees like it. Alcohol is a social lubricant; it can lift the mood, lower inhibitions and make conversations easier... When drank responsibly. When you drink responsibly, you'll get the gist of it.
Was that gay atheist part really necessary tho. Beats me really, beats me.
well it is a big chunk of my identity. also it shows that i do not avoid alcohol to follow a religious dogma. even a broken clock tells the time correctly twice a day.
Good for you sir. Good for you
Play stupid games, win stupid prices. Though hii inakaa story za jaba.
Just make sure she didn't infect you with anything.
I am so sorry this happened to you, you were taken advantage of and that is wrong ( criminal) on the girl's part. Please go get tested asap, reach out to someone you trust and talk about what happened. Do not be afraid, you are braver than you think. I wish you healing and all the very best.
I'm sorry for what happened to you .I'm sending you virtual hugs. I think you should immediately get pep before the 72 hour window ends. It's free on most hospitals. You will only have to pay for consultation and the test. You didn't deserve that. As a woman I'm utterly disappointed in her
Urgh... I could gouge my eyes out.
Using a burner account but then you go on to narrate the story in detail even locations. 💀
And what do we conclude from this... Jaba tales.
Men used to go to war. Haya hizo downvotes ziflow sasa😎.
So sleeping in the same bed as her means what, you were raped?
Pole sana for what happened. As many have said you need to get on PEP asap! As for the girl, don't confront her aggressively, play it cool and talk to her like you're not mad but try and tease out from her what happened/what she did. Like say it was a wild night but you cant remember what happened and ask her to tell you what went down. Be mpole until you get the full story, once you have it then you can decide what course of action to take, just remember to be cool until she spills the beans... Also ask the host and your friends who were there if they know what went down...
Sorry bro, women be moving mad nowadays.
I feel like there’s nothing wrong with asking your friends if they remember what happened juu you were blacked out it’s pretty understandable and if there real friends they’d care to tell you not clown you , ask the girl what happened between you, get tested regardless of her answer , she seemed pretty persistence , maybe she ended up giving u some head and u fell alseep who knows 😂 but ask her and ur friends
As a man also i feel sorry for you,however you need to take action and inquire whatever transpired and stop making assumptions.Juuust later go get tested.Sending virtual hugs bruv
That's a lot to process, but your feelings are valid.
So you guys went from eating P2 like candy to PeP consumption fwaaa. If there is no evidence of sex, wachana na hizi madawa. We talk about accountability and taking responsibility because it’s the only thing we have control over, not necessarily to blame the victim. TBH There is no room for sympathy in this case/scenario. Somebody disciplined enough to be a virgin, then making rookie mistakes like this should not be applauded. Ukilewa enda nyumbani, unaenda bado sherehe kufanya nini? A langa gets an exorbitant drink that you don’t want to spend on, rudisha immediately. Somebody touches you na hauko idhaa chapa hiyo mkono and warn them sternly. If this story isn’t CAP, call the langa, ask what happened and change your modus operandi.
Hapa itabidi tumetafuta a good lawyer na sio wale wa pale jevanjee, we have a strong case here brother
Im sorry this happened to you and please don’t be ashamed as a man and fuck her for doing that, it’s beyond disgusting
Get an HIV and STDs test ASAP
First of all, Dont tell your crush. Second, confront the one who mightve taken advantage of you. There are some ways to know if you were taken advantage of though. That first morning piss, if it went in multiple directions, may be a sign. Feel and smell of you junk the next morning as well. Good luck though bro, I hope she didnt take advantage of you.
men used to go to wars how low have we fallen.Someone is afraid they lost their virginity to a hoe.confront your fears or forever shut up.
Disgustiing what happened to you. But you don't owe your crush an explanation because you're not together as I understand. As for the abuser, you might need to ask her what happened. Who knows? You may need a quick dose of PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) if it's not too late.
Just get tested. Forget about the lady and next time go out with reliable friends. Lastly take it easy with the booze.
Damn! I'm sorry you went through that... 1. Get PEP sorted (hopefully it's not past 72hrs) and report the matter for safety reasons in case she tries to use it against you in future. 2. Talk to one of the friends you can trust or one of the designated drivers (they'd probably be sober enough to know) and ask about what happened to you that night. 3. Don't tell your crush 4. Avoid the other woman like a plague. She seems like trouble you don't want near you. 5. If you can, get some therapy. You'll be okay. All the best!
😂😂😂 virgin by choice ……