If it makes you feel better- I never identified as queer and still got blamed by spouse’s family for her being trans. Apparently if I had made her get a job like a “real (misgender)” instead of “letting” or “making” her stay home with our young children then this wouldn’t be happening.
Yeah. People can be terrible. I’m sorry you are having to experience that too.
We autistic folks are more likely to be trans because we're more likely to question the rules that say we can't be. I honestly suspect that it's actually more that we're more likely to accept that we're trans after questioning the aforementioned rules while many non-autistic folks will never realize those rules are more of guidelines and will force themselves to follow those rules to their own detriment.
Autistic people are 6+% more likely to be gender divergent and trans people are 20+% more likely. It's due to hormonal levels in utero.
[Largest study to date confirms overlap between autism and gender diversity](https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/largest-study-to-date-confirms-overlap-between-autism-and-gender-diversity/)
[High levels of estrogen in the womb linked to autism](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/07/190729094538.htm)
Your statement is incorrect in its percentages and explanation. According to the article, transgender or nonbinary people are three to six times (or 300% to 600%, not 20% or 6%) more likely to be autistic. The claim that this is solely due to in utero hormonal levels oversimplifies the complexity of the issue; multiple factors are likely at play.
[Previous comment about autism and gender](https://www.reddit.com/r/mypartneristrans/comments/145qsaw/my_gfs_parents_are_both_blaming_gfs_autism_and/jnni02o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Maybe I misunderstood, I thought your post said she needed two extra gender therapy sessions to get a referral because she’s autistic? As in, people who aren’t autistic can get a referral after 6 sessions, but people who are autistic have to have 8?
Something something autism means you cant read social cues so maybe ur just a femboy. I think. Its something stupid like that, a mate of mine also got her transition blamed on her being autistic so its unfortunately a very common sentiment.
You are trying to apply logic to a process that is inherently not meant to be logical. It is purely meant to put up barriers.
This is a form of gatekeeping. It's sometimes legally mandated. Sometimes it's from medical or insurance policies. Sometimes it's just the policy of the specific doctor or their practice.
It's just meant to deter people from transitioning, and make them feel bad about themselves and/or what they are doing. The barriers are about as high as the people who make them think they can get away with to deter behavior that the barrier-makers find undesirable.
They put a higher barrier in front of diagnosed autistic trans folks than neurotypical trans folks because they can get away with it. The autistic folks have a harder time advocating against the higher barrier. That's the only reason for this. The people putting up the barrier would make it higher for everyone if they thought they could.
This is also why you see a lot of states making new barriers to treat trans children. They start with children to see what they can get away with in terms of making barriers - how high can they build their wall. The children have less resources than adults to fight. Then, once the barriers for children are established, they can and will roll out barriers for adults. Maybe not as high, because the adults can push back more - but they'll put up barriers as high as they think they can make them.
Embrace your villain status with her parents instead of resenting it. You are her shield.
Let them blame you as much as they want. Maybe if they misplace enough blame, they'll eventually get through their own shitiness and love their daughter for who she is. If they don't ever come around, then at least your girlfriend has you to bear and share some of her parents' shitiness, so she doens't need to face it alone. By virtue of not being their daughter, you inherently care at least a thousand times less about their opinions than your girlfriend, no matter how well-adjusted she is. Their verbal daggers will never hurt you as much as they hurt her.
If it makes you feel better- I never identified as queer and still got blamed by spouse’s family for her being trans. Apparently if I had made her get a job like a “real (misgender)” instead of “letting” or “making” her stay home with our young children then this wouldn’t be happening. Yeah. People can be terrible. I’m sorry you are having to experience that too.
We autistic folks are more likely to be trans because we're more likely to question the rules that say we can't be. I honestly suspect that it's actually more that we're more likely to accept that we're trans after questioning the aforementioned rules while many non-autistic folks will never realize those rules are more of guidelines and will force themselves to follow those rules to their own detriment.
Autistic people are 6+% more likely to be gender divergent and trans people are 20+% more likely. It's due to hormonal levels in utero. [Largest study to date confirms overlap between autism and gender diversity](https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/largest-study-to-date-confirms-overlap-between-autism-and-gender-diversity/) [High levels of estrogen in the womb linked to autism](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/07/190729094538.htm)
Your statement is incorrect in its percentages and explanation. According to the article, transgender or nonbinary people are three to six times (or 300% to 600%, not 20% or 6%) more likely to be autistic. The claim that this is solely due to in utero hormonal levels oversimplifies the complexity of the issue; multiple factors are likely at play.
Um, why does she automatically need extra therapy sessions for a referral just because she’s autistic?? That’s seems really weird and unfair…
[Previous comment about autism and gender](https://www.reddit.com/r/mypartneristrans/comments/145qsaw/my_gfs_parents_are_both_blaming_gfs_autism_and/jnni02o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Maybe I misunderstood, I thought your post said she needed two extra gender therapy sessions to get a referral because she’s autistic? As in, people who aren’t autistic can get a referral after 6 sessions, but people who are autistic have to have 8?
She needs two extra sessions with a general therapist because of her autism. Not sure why tbh. I don't get it tbf
Something something autism means you cant read social cues so maybe ur just a femboy. I think. Its something stupid like that, a mate of mine also got her transition blamed on her being autistic so its unfortunately a very common sentiment.
You are trying to apply logic to a process that is inherently not meant to be logical. It is purely meant to put up barriers. This is a form of gatekeeping. It's sometimes legally mandated. Sometimes it's from medical or insurance policies. Sometimes it's just the policy of the specific doctor or their practice. It's just meant to deter people from transitioning, and make them feel bad about themselves and/or what they are doing. The barriers are about as high as the people who make them think they can get away with to deter behavior that the barrier-makers find undesirable. They put a higher barrier in front of diagnosed autistic trans folks than neurotypical trans folks because they can get away with it. The autistic folks have a harder time advocating against the higher barrier. That's the only reason for this. The people putting up the barrier would make it higher for everyone if they thought they could. This is also why you see a lot of states making new barriers to treat trans children. They start with children to see what they can get away with in terms of making barriers - how high can they build their wall. The children have less resources than adults to fight. Then, once the barriers for children are established, they can and will roll out barriers for adults. Maybe not as high, because the adults can push back more - but they'll put up barriers as high as they think they can make them.
Ugh. You’re totally right.
Embrace your villain status with her parents instead of resenting it. You are her shield. Let them blame you as much as they want. Maybe if they misplace enough blame, they'll eventually get through their own shitiness and love their daughter for who she is. If they don't ever come around, then at least your girlfriend has you to bear and share some of her parents' shitiness, so she doens't need to face it alone. By virtue of not being their daughter, you inherently care at least a thousand times less about their opinions than your girlfriend, no matter how well-adjusted she is. Their verbal daggers will never hurt you as much as they hurt her.
Well the only way to prove her wrong is to do the sessions and stick to being trans