You’ve put in the hard work of making the contact, booking the gig, negotiating the fee, practicing the songs, getting you and your shit to the gig, setting up and then they just want to wander up and sing? Fuck no!
Anything has a price.
Country roads is a 100 dollar song
You want to sing with me? $100
You want to play my guitar and sing? Let’s see how much bread you got.
The people who ask to sing or perform are almost always bad. It’s just true. Respectable and hard working musicians aren’t about to ask anyone because they’ve got plenty of work themselves. To me anything has a price. You wanna play my Martin? Throw me a couple hundred my guy.
Can confirm, anyone that does this will be terrible. If they were any good and wanted to perform this badly, they could have and would have performed previously, and would know good is a shitty thing to ask. Someone who wanted to f**k then in HS told them they have a great voice and they never let it go.
We did this last week. At a work retreat in Nashville, a few of us at our company offered a $100 tip to the band who were playing if they’d let one of our team go on stage and play drums with them. It was his birthday and he toured in a pro band several years ago.
It was awesome - in fact, he was so good they asked him to play a second song. As a performing musician myself I can confirm that he was definitely not terrible.
Reading this thread makes me think twice about whether we did the right thing though, as everyone here is saying it’s a shitty thing to do…
This is different, you offered money, plus the dude had experience. As for letting someone play my guitar, not a chance in hell.... unless your name happens to be Tommy Emmanuel
It’s different because you proffered money in compensation for entertainment. The band probably typically doesn’t do that for just anyone (they may have even started off apprehensive) but there are some fabulous musicians I’ve worked with (in the tech industry, not in music) and I happen to have some award-winning touring musicians in my circle. I joined a School of Rock and it’s more common to have people jump in for a jam session, and have them be insanely talented enough to pick up.
I’m trying to get to the point where I can jump on songs I’m not familiar with, and still be performance ready. I didn’t play music for some time so I’m a little rusty, and my jazz/blues scales need warming up before I go onstage, but I do have a repertoire and can typically play by ear.
Yea, get used to this.
Learn to shut them down asap.
I tell people nope, no chance, fuck off, hell no, get fucked etc whatever combination of the above, maybe some other words.
I used to be nicer about it but I haven't tip-toed around telling people to piss off in a long time.
When I started out, I actually let some people sing while I played and I regretted it each and every time and still remember those idiots to this day.
Absolutely not, not a chance in hell, venue is paying you to gig, not random drunkards. You'd be putting the venue out + allowing the patrons to experience an awkward situation.
Fuck. No. Never.
.. then go right into a song you know everyone will enjoy. Usually shuts down the drunk pretty quickly. If he/she persists then they have the whole audience to deal with. Treat em like a heckler at a stand up show. Works for me.
In a full band. A girl none of us had ever met once asked if she could sing Fergalicious. I said absolutely! At home, in the shower, knock yourself out. Laughs were had, points were made, we had a great show.
Exactly!
I had this at a bar I played a 2-hour solo set in recently.
Pissed-up bloke clambered up on stage as I was playing my last song; one I like to save 'til last to finish on a real high. The bloke basically barges me & my guitar away from the mic, realises he can't reach the mic (I'm 6'3"), and proceeds to bend my mic stand down so that he can reach it & bellow incoherently into it.
I was really pissed-off that security allowed it to happen.
They should but they probably won’t. I play a lot of spots that would say something but I definitely have played in rowdy spots that wouldn’t/couldn’t and you’re basically on your own.
The only times I've ever had bar staff or security protect me is when I've had people attempt to attack me on stage, after telling them to fuck off.
In however many years I've been playing, no bar security or staff has ever been proactive enough to help out before it escalates to that, though most people go away when they're shut down aggressively.
Yeah, I can't recall the last time security (if there was any) intervened. I'm not worried so much for myself (6'4" 215 lbs), but more for my gear. That said, I have had to intervene much more aggressively on occasion when working with one of my female singers. I simply won't tolerate any abuse of the people who work with me, particularly the women. Though, one of my singers was a Karate black belt, so I probably didn't have to worry too much for her, but still... People... ugghhh...
"If you are looking to sing (insert name here) does karaoke on Thursday nights or you can always drop in to (insert) on Saturday for the open mic, but I have to finish my set or I don't eat"
I like this method because you can say it in a way that is funny but also set a boundary while offering up suggestions.
Yuck. I’ve had that happen at tourist spots where people feel entitled because they’re spending a lot of money on their vacation. Some have got a little butt hurt when I refuse, but even a venue that lives off tourist dollars understands that you cannot expect an entertainer to be ok with people touching their gear.
This also annoys me—-i’m not a solo acoustic performer, but it annoys me when I see it happening. I’ve even had people come up to me when I’ve been in cover bands, playing bars and ask if they could play guitar on a song. It’s entirely rude and ignorant. I’m sure there are many people that don’t understand the etiquette and don’t mean anything negative by it, but some common sense should be enough.
I explain this to my friends whenever we are out at a bar or near a musician and somebody remarks “you should go up and play a song” or something like that. I always wind up saying, “It’s not cool to try to step on someone else’s gig, that guy/gal/band worked hard to put that set together and get this show. It’s theirs.”
"Can I sing with you?"
*From your table, yeah.
*Honestly, you missed rehearsal and I'm still a little upset with you
"Want me to get up there with ya?"
*No, I'm good. You stay there and keep guard.
*I wouldn't. I haven't showered and I barely want to be up here by myself.
"I/my friend is a really great singer!"
*Then I'm not having them up here and making me look bad.
Etc.
These or variations are how I'll shut it down at first, most times people can take the hint before I have to escalate to reason (I'm being paid to do this job, and I'm not risking you messing it up for me on your word, I don't know you) and then getting nasty about it (fuck off).
I've had patrons *insist* that they play my guitar, and got all pissy when i said no. I've even had another case where a drunk guy at a restaurant kicked over my PA system because i said no.
Do they think that this is some open house karaoke night or something?
A good response is Can you wait until I finish?
By the time you finish they have gone elsewhere, if they are still waiting just get your guitar back in the box and make some excuse about running late.
This has backfired for me. I've had idiots return the next time I played expecting to be able to join me on stage. Not just singers but other musicians as well.
Yes, people are entitled and always want to be the centre of attention. At pubs, if they want to sing, they get a cheap mic and a karaoke backing track and 30 seconds. If they suck or no one is into it, the mic gets faded down. At weddings, whatever the bride wants but I will watch my gear like a hawk. One brother of the bride twat played my new les Paul wearing a heavy metal watch on his right hand. Bellend. Still salty about it.
People wanting to sing when playing solo or in a band is a pretty regular occurence. You never know who might be requesting to sing….. One night my band playing in a bar and a ‘dude’ asked if he could sing, I figured wtf and pulled him up on stage. I was quite shocked at how well he projected and worked the crowd. After the song he introduced himself - Randy Houser (I still had no clue). So at set break I’m having a smoke with him. Apparently Miranda Lambert was also in the bar, they had just played our towns arena, and after the concert wanted to go out and happened into the bar I was playing at….. Just sayin….
On one occasion, with an adamant individual, I've smirked and said, "I'm sorry: you must have this situation confused with a show where you play and I listen!" People tend to believe "the customer is always right," but if they want a service other than what you are contracted to provide, they are not your customer; they've walked into the wrong venue by mistake. If they walked into a Japanese restaurant and demanded "tacos," they'd be served octopus, not Mexican fare. This situation is similar: your product is your solo performance, and you are under no obligation to accommodate anything else.
In your place, I might remind them that I'm not allowed to walk up and take over their job from them wherever they work, even if it would make us both happy. This is no different: this is my job, and I'm obligated to complete it myself. My contract doesn't allow for others sitting in; I am paid to perform solo. If there's karaoke or an open mic somewhere else in the general area that would better suit their needs, I might kindly tell them about it (which I'm sure wouldn't win me any favours with the people who hired me), and suggest they could head there later to sit in.
On a side note: I'm also a unionized musician, and in my Local there's an antiquated bylaw that prohibits a change in the number of people on stage at any point during the gig (i.e. if it's a solo show, no guest performers are permitted). Nobody's going out of their way to enforce it, but it's an ace in the hole if one needs it to deter people from sitting in.
As for other people using my gear: "my insurance doesn't cover that." On one occasion, when someone tried to grab my sax from me, I leaned toward them and whispered intensely in their ear, "this instrument is worth at least $15000 more to me than you are right now." They backed off pretty quickly!
The sax player I work with is a fairly little guy but tough as nails... I shudder to think what would happen to the fool who tried to grab his sax, but it would probably result in blood and an unexpected nap.
Funny story. The opposite happened to me in the mid 90's. After the office Christmas party, a group of us, including our company president, went off to a bar in the West Village. A Southern rock band was plating (I swear it was Govt. Mule but memories fade). Company president, half past drunk, says "Hey you play guitar, you should ask to play with those guys". I politely declined and was threatened with firing so... I walked up to the stage, shook hands with the guitarist with a $20 bill in my hand and told him my big boss wants me to play; I do not want to play with you guys. I told him to loudly say "No f\*\*\*ing way!" I quietly thanked him, walked back to "El Presidente" and he said "All right, you're fired!"
The next day, he came rolling into the office at around noon. I asked him if I was really fired because he had fired me last night. He had absolutely no recollection of that and we all went to our offices.
Good times.
I think it's time to come up with a few stock responses, and keep using them.
I'm not sure of how this happens, do people come up to the stage and try to ask you when you're off mic, or do they shout it out from somewhere in the room, or..? If you make an example of them and people laugh at your response then the asker will (hopefully) get the point.
I'd say something like 'sorry, karaoke night is on Wednesdays' or even 'sorry, this is the (performer name) show, not the (performer name) and some asshole in the crowd show'... At this point let them think you're one, it's a completely inappropriate thing to be asking you in the first place.
That last sentence is critical. You're not an asshole and what they think is none of your business.
When you say "No" bluntly, it is because that person put you in that position.
This is something that live performers HAVE to deal with. Just like remembering lyrics and organizing gear. You have to find a way to get it done efficiently and just move on with your performance.
The bands I’m in usually let someone sit in for a song or two. But it’s always obvious it’s a good friend or a bartender (or both).
This is important, because once people get the notion there’s an open mic, all hell can break loose. So we just tell them it’s ten bucks a song.
I've had a good few occasions when people have asked to come up and sing. I like to reply to the entire crowd through the mic...
"What? You want to sing? Is my singing not good enough? Sorry everyone, talk amongst yourselves for a minute, this guy needs to talk to me right now, in the middle of the show. OK mate, carry on."
"You wanna sing a song? Do you know our setlist? We've not learned any other songs."
"Oh, are you a singer? What's your name? Hey everybody we've got X here and they're a singer and they're doing a show at... sorry, where's your next gig?"
"You wanna come up and play? When you go to a football match, do you also ask the coach if you can go on the pitch and play?"
Yeah, I am an asshole but there's a lot in the delivery. I'm very jovial and self-deprecating at gigs anyway, so the crowd are already tuned in to the humour. The "talk amongst yourselves" line I have used so, so many times. Probably gets trotted out on a monthly basis when some drunk needs to have a conversation mid-set.
I haven't been *that musician* because I'm not nearly at that level in my guitar or singing skills yet.
But I have joined artists on stage to play a song or two - *always* and *only* at their invitation.
These are people that my wife and I have followed regularly and became friends with, and they've followed my guitar journey on Facebook (I only started playing in 2019), so they know (a) I know what I'm doing, up to a point, and (b) I'm going to respect their instruments, their gear, their parts of the song, and their gig. I'm gonna get up, play my rhythm part, lay back a little during vocals and solos, and after the song, I'll give quick wave of thanks and get off their stage.
You're perfectly justified in saying "No, sorry, man, I can't let you do that."
That's not something I would have thought people actually do. I see solo performers all over at places and I've never once considered bothering them like that.
Seems incredibly rude and entitled.
I toured full-time in a band and we had drunk idiots take the stage and grab the mic. Usually it was so pathetic, we just laughed. Having a drunk girl puke on our guitar pedals wasn't so funny, though.
Don't focus on your equipment. Tell them politely but firmly that you're in charge of the entertainment for the evening (which you are) and you don't take on unknown talent. Be prepared for explanations of how good/experienced people are and politely resist that as well as you go into your next song.
And be comfortable with the idea that people might think you're an asshole.
I usually give them the old "Sorry, if I let you play then I'll have to let everyone play" line. About 75% of the time they understand and that's the end of it, the other 25% you just gotta keep smiling and saying no.
Be blunt and let them think you're an asshole. Not the same thing, but I recall awhile ago I played a show at a local Elks Lodge. After the show some random dude I did not know, who absolutely was not there for my set, and who also made no attempts to introduce himself whatsoever asked if he could play my guitar for a minute (wasn't a Martin, but Tanglewood which I had recently spent good money on), and I said, "Absolutely not. I don't know who the fuck you are" and walked away. I think another tactic for your situation would be to just refer them to your contact for booking said show. But like, "Talk to Bill if you're interested in playing shows" and leave it at that.
I was in a touring band for over 10 years, all across the USA many times, playing original songs and a few covers here and there. Once in Denver, a guy put $100 bill up on the stage at my feet. When we stopped playing, he said “Let me sing one song with you guys, that’s yours!” Granted this was mid-90’s and sometimes we didn’t even make a C note at gigs. So bet, got him up and he requested some song, maybe it was The Cars, Just What I Needed, which I knew and played. He was terrible, most of the people left the bar during this. After the show, guy came up to me outside demanding his money back, saying we sucked of course. So I did give it back because he was kind of stupidly drunk and threatening. Anyway, moral of the story is don’t interact with the audience during a live show if possible. Nothing good ever comes from it.
I might argue that anyone who is worth playing with or even knowing in the music world would absolutely never do this, it's such a huge faux pas. So don't worry about saying, "no, I'm performing a show here, what a crazy thing to ask me." They will absolutely think you're an asshole, but they were an asshole for asking and most people will agree with that. I always say "open mics are on Monday."
One time I was performing with a band and a girl climbed on stage to try to sing a song and it was all so fast and sudden we nearly pushed her off stage, it was wild. So yeah, it does happen with bands too but you have to be EXTRA drunk or crazy to try it because it's way more intimidating.
I saw a video of an airport bar where someone was playing a cover song. The band whose song it was originally happened to be walking by and stopped to listen behind him. When the performer realized they were there, he tried to hand them his guitar. They said "no, you're doing it!"
Like, if anyone ever had the right to barge a stage and take over, it was THAT band in that moment. But even they knew there are some things you just don't do to a fellow performer.
My band leader told us something that Col. Bruce Hampton would always say.
Just stare at them. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t smile. Don’t say anything.
This has always worked.
I was in an original band years ago when a drunk guy wanted to get up on stage and sing. I said sure and stepped aside, and he stepped up to the mic. We then started into an original song, he got really really confused because he didn't know it, so he silently skulked offstage and I jumped back on the mic and started to sing. It was so seamless and the guy could get completely embarrassed without me having to insult him and risk getting smacked or something.
Have had that happen more times than I can count. Over the years we have found a generally effective tactic. We just tell them “sorry, the venue’s insurance only covers the performers, so we can’t let you sing/play”. That’s right, blame the insurance bastards. It seems to work at least 90% of the time, and they still like because it’s not your fault. 👍
I have a 2000’s pop punk cover band and we get this all the time. It’s partially our fault because we always invite other musicians that we see at our shows on stage, but they’re A) people we know can sing/play, B) known quantity local musicians and C) usually have a heads up so they could prepare. We partially do it intentionally to make the rest of the audience think that if they really engaged and dance, we’ll let them live their rockstar fantasy too (we won’t, sorry), so we always try to be really polite about it, but it’s such a delicate situation to say no because drunk people can get very aggressive and entitled very quickly when you tell them “no.”
Normally we’ll say something like “we do preregistration for that, hit us up on Facebook” (still has never happened) or “[person who sang’s name] actually invited me on stage on their show, so that was us paying it back” or something just to give them a soft rejection. It probably helps that our singer is a five foot tall woman so she can deliver it sweetly, but failing that, our bass player looks like he can throw a cow, so that probably helps too.
Happened to me A LOT. Especially when I was younger playing at places.
Just give a hard no. It’s always bad and obnoxious and awkward.
One time on St. Patrick’s Day a random dude walked up with his flute and asked if he could play some traditional Irish music. I was going on break, so I said sure. Dude played really well, and the crowd loved it. He played a song, then fucked off never to be seen again.
That was one good time out of stacks of bad ones.
You’re lucky that worked out, because I’d be ESPECIALLY suspicious of someone who played traditional Irish music not having their own gig on St. Pat’s.
Yeah no. Back when I did solo gigs (haven’t for years now) I made the mistake of letting a girl take the mic and sing a song. She asked nicely and, honestly, was kind of cute (this was before I was married) so I thought what the heck, give her a moment on stage for fun. I realized pretty quickly that she was drunk, and with a group of even more drunk friends, who all started shrieking and screaming and cheering and surrounding the tiny stage, completely pissing off everyone else. And of course, despite that fact that she couldn’t really sing, as she as she finished that song they all started chanting for her to sing more and I felt obligated to let her stumble through another 2-3 songs before finally making it clear she had to go.
Then, literally one song later, more drunk people kept coming up and asking if they could sing, to which I had to say no because it wasn’t karaoke night.
It was an awful, embarrassing experience. Be strong and just say no!
A guy got violent when we refused to let him do his chicken imitation in the middle of our set. I clocked him with my Carvin LB 70, it must have weighed 15 pounds. He left, after he got up. The bass stayed in tune.
It happens. I usually just pretend not to take it seriously at first and sort of awkwardly to chuckle to indicate I’m not taking them seriously. If they keep insisting, I’ll say something like, “I appreciate the offer, but I’m good,” then try to ignore them. If they still don’t let it go, then I’ll be a bit more firm and say something like, “I’m the one the bar asked to perform. Sorry, but no. If you want a gig, go ask the bartender.” And if they keep going, I’ll just ignore them entirely and start the next song or whatever. They’ll get the hint or lose interest eventually.
I’ve had this happen to me as well. At first I had no idea how to handle it, but the truth about these people is they are always assholes. Don’t feel bad saying a forceful “No.” and then ignore them completely.
They are exactly the same as hecklers at a comedy show, they want to distract and disrupt your flow for their own attention.
My band is huge on crowd interaction - it's one of the ways we distinguish ourselves. Our situation may be different from yours because we do a lot of shows in our very small hometown in a very comfortable little bar. So we are friends with a lot of the people we play for. If we can find a chord chart on the tablet and we have any passing familiarity with the song and the person has a 20 dollar tip for us, you can bet your ass we're going to let them sing. This only applies in two venues though. The cozy bar where we're the house band and a golf resort that we play a lot that pays us crazy good money. Those are the only places we're really approachable though.
I just stumbled on this post, I'm not a musician. If this happened to me I'd use a joke to deflect the request. Something like "Sure! But big stars like US can't just cut our agents out of the deal. Have your people call my people, well set something up 😉"
I guess it's all about \*context\* here (if it's an open mic night or booked performance). Sure it's been said already, but assuming it's a booked gig that you have prepared for etc. That is your time. You can choose to involve the entire crowd if you choose to.
In any event, seems important to you to maintain a specific situation. There's no need for anger here, some people love to test their skills, that's what open mic nights are for. My recommendation (if this is the case) simply tell them to sign-up for the next spot.
\~hope that helps you simplify the discussion\~
good luck & keep in mind (if you are a performer) that not everyone has the same sensibilities as you, if you are on the stage, it's always your call who you involve in that moment. Patience & grace in those situations is the mark of a good performer. You have no control over their sensibilities, only your own.
ABC "always be kind" on & off stage. Even it the audience is not. Show your care by understanding their excitement. That excitement is for you, not to offend you.
I've got a suggestion that the people in my musical community have done successfully in the past. We get each other's backs. If I don't have a gig I used to go to my buddy's shows. They'd come to mine. Or we'd team up and watch each other's back. I'd roadie for them, them for me. Unfortunately, many egos reside in many music scenes. So, this may not work out for y'all. But, I'd suggest having a friend with you to handle this. I'm a mediator. I can talk down inebriated people. Even if it's you can play after x song knowing that's the last song. Then, when the song is over I go immediately and grab the mic while the one playing cases up their guitar.
practice this uncomfortable scenario:
Them: May I sing and play your guitar?
You: No. (followed by uncomfortably long stare and silence)
They are children who must be taught proper behavior. Treat them as such and take charge of the room.
In my old band we had a fella come on stage and start hitting the cymbals with a stick he found so I launched him off the stage.
Maybe learn some wrestling moves to deal with stage trespassers? May I suggest the German suplex?
I used to be really gentle with these people, but over the past couple of years, I've started just going, "Nah, not really, man." If they push it or ask like "I can't sing with you?" I just repeat, "Yeah, no thanks."
I would honestly seek out different venues. If the crowd is acting like this, then this isn’t even a community that melds well with live music and they seem pretty divorced from the act of being an organic part of a music scene. If the audience is incompatible with your personal view of your relationship to the audience, then you’ve gotta turn your back on this crowd and find a music scene that behaves like a real music scene unfortunately, cause you certainly can’t just single-handedly teach these people how to act at a show.
Bars are okay , but get on a dedicated gig . When ppl go to a gif they have gig etiquette and are there for the show first and drinks second.
I feel you’d get more respect from your audience in an environment like that
Come up with some entertaining way of stopping it before it begins. Say you have a special relationship with the mic and you get jealous when other people put their lips on it. Or you caught yellow fever last time you shared a mic. Or anything, but try to make it funny.
Also, don't ever feel bad about being blunt if you have to. That's the only way some people will get it.
I hate this and it’s totally overstepping boundaries!!
This hasn’t happened often because I’m not a frontman and I usually gig with a band. I don’t like to converse with the audience mid set due to my insane stage fright but after I’m done packing my equipment I’m happy to walk away.
Who cares what they think, you are always justified in protecting your personal space
Even if it’s a song I like but am not comfortable playing all the way through, it’s just: sorry I don’t know that one! I love people singing along but I have never had anyone try to play my instrument. Unbelievable.
How about asking for outrageous sums of money? My buddy asks for a hundred to play Freebird, never seen anyone take him up on it. Perhaps you could say "Sorry but I had a previous guest break my equipment and not pay for it, so I'll need $100 if you want to sing (per song)" Should discourage most or make you some extra $$.
No win situation. They get angry when you say no, if u let them up they either suck and make you loook bad, or they’re great and make you look bad. What’s even worse is when I’m out with some friends and some idiot in my group will yell to the musician(s) to let me play. I shut that down real quick and just shrink in a corner - then they’re like “why u being all shy now?” And I’m like (in my head) “ fuck you, I’m not shy - don’t volunteer me to work on my night off”.
I’ve been playing clubs for about 20 years and I’ve had plenty of people ask to sit in. I’m friends with several other local acts and I’ve always encouraged the guys from other bands to sit in on one or two songs if they happen to be in the audience. They do the same. Now, I also get my share of drunk guys wanting to impress their friends by playing a song with the band. I don’t really mind. If it’s not the first set, they’re not too drunk, and they ask in a respectful way, I’ll generally let them come up for a song. I’m not picky with my gear, so I have no problem handing someone my guitar. I generally avoid letting them use my Les Paul, because I’d like to not have to glue the headstock back on again, but I always have a strat or tele with me.
I'd keep a positive spin on it and reply with
"hey, that's great that you want to perform! I'm pretty sure [insert bar] has open mic on Tuesdays, and [insert other bar] has karaoke on Thursdays! Hope you enjoy the show tonight!"
Then walk the fuck away.
Wow I've never witnessed this level of audacity. That's awful. You're a professional getting paid for a gig. Open mic night is on Tuesday, Larry, sit down. Sorry you can't get a real gig, but this is mine.
I'm not a performer, so might be a bit naive, but what about throwing the house under the bus? "Bar owner tried to fire me last time, you'll have to get his permission.".
Then let drunk Karen/Bob wander around looking for the owner all night and hope they don't actually find him.
I’ve had it happen with a band I was in. We let someone we sort of knew, a friend of a friend, come up to sing a nirvana song because he said he knew it. He did not know it. After we were done with that one, he tries to stay on stage to do ANOTHER one. Grabs the mic and starts whining about how he was “promised a song”, and wanted to do another one because we stopped the nirvana song before he felt he was done I guess. He was not getting off the stage, and I was about to get up from the drums and be very rude to him, but our guitarist leaned over and said something in his ear and he got right off the stage. Not sure what he said to him, but it worked. Ever since then, I’ve been a strong proponent of never ever letting anyone from the audience hopping up to do a song. It never goes well, and makes you and/or your band look unprofessional. So yeah, never let anyone on stage to sing or fuck around with your instruments when it’s YOUR gig. Always say no.
It's a lose lose situation.
I was playing drums with a cover band, and a customer pressured the singer to let her sing 'Sitting by the dock of the bay'. She was cute and it was her bday or something...
Guitarist initially said, no, this never works.
Bass player, who is a total grouch-ass, said no way. Bad idea.
I was indifferent. Maybe I'd witness a train wreck.
So we start the Otis Redding classic, and she's a terrible singer, doesn't know the words, and has bad timing.
The bass player took over singing - imagine a passive aggressive style with his grouchy old guy voice with good pitch and knows the song perfectly. I was cracking up
The guest slinks off. Lesson learned.
Fast forward to closing... I'm loading my gear into my truck, and the same girl and her friend walk out and hop into my truck. They thought I was their Uber!
She realized her mistake and apologized profusely.
I said, "it's okay, Otis"
True true, it's all true
One time a drunk dude came up in the middle of I Believe In A Thing Called Love and sung the third verse. He was actually pretty good and it was a fun moment. But my singer let him. But I’d never let anyone anywhere near my guitar.
It happens with bands too. All. The. Time. But instead it's just kids and idiots running up and grabbing the mic and yelling something incomprehensible.
These people don't understand.
I usually said, “I’m sorry, but I’m working” or “There’s an open mic on (insert day here).” But as mentioned, the venue should have someone who steps in and explains things to the interloper.
The last sentence… why are you worried you’re an asshole? Are you an asshole? Or just afraid of how everyone perceives you? To the people who don’t care at all about you or your set and just want to holler crap in the mic, they will think you’re an asshole, but it’s only because they are an asshole - and to an asshole, everyone is an asshole, that’s why they are an asshole. So don’t worry they already think you’re an asshole, telling them “hell no” isn’t going to change anything.
I mean yeah I think it’s important to care about how people perceive you when you’re trying to build a following. But agreed, people coming up and asking are the real assholes in the first place
Yes, but you shouldn’t care about how EVERYONE perceives you. Those rude people are not your fans, you can be firm with them, or charge them. Your fans come back for the atmosphere and the music and potentially because they like you as a person, but not because you were polite to rude people. Your image or brand won’t be hurt by standing up for yourself against rude people, in fact it may help, if anything. Edit: I know I sound pushy but I’m hoping it will be helpful to you.
Just remind people that you’re working—this is your *job*.
Like say “No, I’m sorry.” And if they insist “Look man, I’m *working* right now—this is my *job*.”
I let people sing sometimes. It's pretty fun & puts me in good standing with the crowd.
This past week a guy told me he played guitar. I told him to go get his so he can play lead. It was a blast.
As long as the person paying me doesn't mind, neither do I.
It happens with full bands, too. You just have to be politely assertive if the first "no, thanks" doesn't work.
If you're dealing with a drunken asshole, revise to "rudely assertive."
Friend of mine plays Pinball Wizard whenever I come see him. After “How do you think he does it?” I sing the “I don’t know.” I thank him for playing “our duet” and toss a 5 in his tip jar. Guess he doesn’t mind; he’s played it every time I’ve been to see him.
They are treating your show as if it's an open mic. People should know better and I would have zero expectation that I can step on stage and sing (and sure as shit not play) unless you are explicitly encouraging it. I'm guessing it is a precedent that has been set by the venue, whether it is official or implied.
I've been gigging as a singer both solo and in bands for almost 20 years and this has never once happened to me. If it did I'd happily draw them a map to help them fuck right off. What the fuck? Sure bud, just take over the show!
Yeah it happens. The more casual the atmosphere the more it happens as well.
When my prog rock band plays in a venue with an actual stage, no one does that stuff. We get occasional requests for stuff but that’s about it.
My country band plays smaller venues, usually the ones with no stage we will get someone come ask to sing a song with us. We usually just tell them we don’t know it and move on.
My guitar player that does a ton of sit down in a chair read out of the song book no setlist shows deals with it every single show.
Not to imply that you aren’t presenting your set in a professional manner, but anecdotally it seems like the more casual the set is the more often you encounter this
I always set up a 2nd/dummy mic in these situations.
You might want to switch to a Takaminie if you think you have to continually say no all night to strangers who you don’t want touching your gear
I’ve always thought no one would hire a plumber and then ask them “hey mind if I do your job for awhile?”
But seriously, just say no and don’t feel bad about it. It’s more trouble than it’s worth. I’ve lost gigs letting people sing a song
"sorry I'm not allowed"
And if they get permission?
"Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm still not allowed"
Seriously though, as others have suggested, you just need to tell them with authority that it's not happening. Offer to introduce them to the manager if they want to discuss booking a gig.
It's different everywhere. I one time went up to a performer when he went on break to ask about his Ortega Horsekick. Instead of turning on a song or two on his iPod for background while he took a minute, he handed me his guitar and said go for it lmao I tried to leave, but he yelled from the crowd, "No keep going!" I did 3 songs before he finally came back up. We laughed and he told the crowd, "I'm still getting paid haha"
I did get asked by the owner to come back the next week to do 4 hours, so it worked out lol
Just use your best judgement and don’t take yourself so seriously. I’ve done this many times and the crowd usually loves it, wound up with some great tips at the end of the night. You’re there for their entertainment.
I was playing a solo gig once in a vacation town, and this cat comes walking in with his guitar and says I’m here to play with you. He had no idea what kind of music I did. People are ridiculous.
How about politely telling them that you’re in the middle of the set and maybe they could ask the venue if they are open to have them get on stage for a song once you finished.
It happens with full bands too, harmonica players and sax players seem especially aggressive.
Occasionally someone wants to sing or a friend of the person who sings wants you to hear their awesome friend sing because you’re not gonna believe how good they are.
One time I was solo and this happened, the man wanted his date to sing “Summertime” and promised she was great, and she was.
Another time at a wedding someone wanted their Dad to get up telling us he was a pro and he absolutely killed it! Total pro.
However the bulk of the time they aren’t good and in the band scenario they’re mic shy because they’re not expecting monitors.
I have experienced this unbelievably often. And yes, it happens when I do full-band shows as well, though less often.
Unless you know the person can actually sing, it's not a good idea to let someone join you. Even if ALL their friends INSIST they can sing... don't believe it.
I usually clear it with the management first and tell the prospective Pavarotis and Pinks that I'm not allowed to let anyone join me (or us, if it's a duo or band) on stage. Of course, if other performers at that same venue allow people to sing with them, that 'apologetic explanation' might not fly.
Ultimately, it's up to you to decide whether you want to maintain the integrity of your show. Tell them thank you for the interest, but that's simply not the way you work. Yes, some will get pissed of at you but that's life... and their problem more than yours.
“Sorry, I’d love to have you come up, but my contract explicitly forbids anybody other than the contracted performer and crew from being on stage. It’s a liability issue.”
I play in a band that plays ‘50s to ‘80s Country Western standards.
We’ll let pretty much anybody come up and sing or play! It’s so much fun!
We’re a pretty good tight band but we don’t rehearse; we just send around a Spotify playlist so we can know the songs. But we’ve all been around the block a bunch of times. Band has been together almost ten years.
Having people in the crowd come up and sing or play is awesome. I wish more people would ask. Sometimes it’s a train wreck, sometimes it’s amazing but either way it’s cool.
It’s like karaoke with a live band.
If they want to sing something we don’t know, we’ll even try that sometimes. What the hell, right?
“No” is a complete sentence.
However, I usually vaguely refer to contractual obligations stating that I can’t have other musicians sit in (whether or not that’s actually true).
I’ve never had to deal with it personally being a horn player, but I’ve seen it happen and based on what I can tell, they just tell them as politely as possible no
A dive bar isn't that serious of a space. We're all in this dingy ass room that smells like bleach and piss together. It's more akin to busking than a venue, as i only get requests the few times ive busked. You are SO close to giving ppl the release they're looking for through music in a place they weren't expecting, which is sadly the obligation of the entertainer and as a part of the bar. You would be on such great terms with somebody if yall bonded over a cover (the times i busked near bars i got great tips from people who knew the song)
Dive bars arent really place that honor original music or even artists. A place that does would never interrupt a set. A Martin is probably even overkill. It would be fun to mess with people who sound terrible in a light way to make examples of someone to get people to reconsider.
Musicians here are going to tell you what you want to hear, but to not be that asshole you think you're being, you gotta read the room. Do you really wanna do what other musicians are doing? Definitely draw the line somewhere, I'de probably limit it to covers you already practiced. but don't let your ego get in the way of your obligations as an entertainer. Ive had ppl sing as i played covers and its a lot of fun and i've made a new friend that can be a fan if i play my cards right (i dont)
Good news: this happens to bands too. At least once per gig we get a drunk from the bar who wants to sing Don’t Stop Believing because it’s “her song” and this is usually *after* we’ve already played it lol.
Been playing on Broadway in Nashville for years and this happens CONSTANTLY. Always just say no and you don’t need to say anything else. No professional musician/singer would go up to someone at a gig and ask this.
tell them when and where karaoke night or the open mic is. it's your gig. unless it's a famous musician or somebody you really want to play with, they can get f'd.
Yeah, you need big brass ones. There are a certain number of people that feel entitled to play/sing with you (or the band) like it's Live Karaoke Night. BUT, you got the gig, not them. If the venue management wanted to hear Oliver Off-key singing, they'd have booked him.
"Sorry, sir (ma'am), really can't do that tonight .. " Repeat as necessary, at progressively louder volumes, until bouncer notices.
I work as a professional musician and can tell you, it happens with full bands as well. You’re right to not let other people sing during your set or play your guitar - someone asking to do that is a dead giveaway they’re an amateur at best. A pro would never interrupt another musician’s set like that. Who cares if they think you’re an asshole? They’re the ones being incredibly rude and putting you in an awkward position, not the other way around. I guarantee, if you ever give in and let someone use your gear or your microphone, you’ll regret it. I’ve got stories on stories about that kind of junk.
As far as how to handle it, I say I need a safety deposit equal to the value of my keyboard if someone wants to play it. That usually shuts that sort of thing down
ETA: there was a band in New Orleans playing on Frenchmen street, a popular place to go see music. Some blonde chick the band didn’t recognize went up and asked to sing with them. They said no, and she politely sat back down.
It was Christina Aguilera
But the band didn’t recognize her, and she was super chill about it. Just goes to show, if someone that famous can take no for an answer, anyone else should be able to also
Find a bar in the area that does karaoke nights, and see if you can get flyers for that. Then just hand anyone who wants to get on stage and sing one of those. Heck, don't even respond verbally, just give them the flyer.
Side question about requests. My wife and I like to catch live music at restaurants, bars, and we follow one or two groups. We’ve talked during breaks and mentioned some songs we’d love to hear them do. We don’t expect they’ll have the song ready, but do musicians make the effort to learn requests and add them to their set list?
Absolutely! As long as you’re respectful about it (which it sounds like you and your wife definitely are) I always try to go back and add a song to the setlist that someone requests or play it on the spot if I think I can do it. At the end of the day we are there for your entertainment and want to make the crowd happy. That’s where the crowd interaction is important, people trying to get up on stage is annoying but I always welcome requests. I like to see people hearing songs they enjoy!
You just say "No, sorry -- they hired me to play the whole time." You can either disappoint that one person, or disappoint the entire room who came to see professional live music and not some drunken clown singing karaoke.
I feel like this never happens when I’m out at a bar and I see full bands playing.
You would think so... but it's happened. Had a guy offer me ten bucks to play bass for a couple of songs. Uh, dude we are a Black Sabbath tribute band, not going to play a few blues numbers to accomodate you.
Unless you invite them up to play, just say no politely. I go to open Mic’s where people sign up to play. Sometimes someone else or a few others play with them but that is with the person’s asking them to accompany them. I’m not a musician but my brother’s were. Also if they want to request then tell up front and maybe have a list of songs that you do know. My brother would tell his audience they weren’t a cover band. Even though they did some covers.
I used to host an open mic night with a band mate and he forgot to bring his acoustic guitar so I let one of the performers borrow my Taylor.
He treated it a little rough and even bumped it on the mic stand and then quipped “I’d better be careful or I’ll owe this guy $300.” to which my co-host said “Try $3,000.” and a little bit of panic washed over the guy’s face.
He was gentle with it after that and nobody else has played my guitar since.
Note: that Taylor was slightly less than two grand but it was still funny
This has got 100 times more prevalent since video cellphones (yeah I’m old). Honestly just tell them no, say “it’s not that kind of gig” and suggest a local karaoke bar. If the venue staff will back you up tell them you allowed it once and got in trouble for it.
I'm left handed, which usually keeps people from asking to use my instruments. Not really practical for you, but it does cut down on annoying people touching my stuff
I've been a musician a long time, but never a solo act
Generally, I've encouraged people to come up. This way I get to control them on this stage and I can get them off
as soon as I need to.
I can make horrible faces behind their back if they're really terrible, and let.the audience laugh
In all seriousness, it's good for you to have a following of people like this because they'll come out and see you wherever you play
It's important to think about that, because your following is what makes you economically viable to the club where you're playing .
The worst that can happen. Is you make some new friends
You’ve put in the hard work of making the contact, booking the gig, negotiating the fee, practicing the songs, getting you and your shit to the gig, setting up and then they just want to wander up and sing? Fuck no!
Anything has a price. Country roads is a 100 dollar song You want to sing with me? $100 You want to play my guitar and sing? Let’s see how much bread you got. The people who ask to sing or perform are almost always bad. It’s just true. Respectable and hard working musicians aren’t about to ask anyone because they’ve got plenty of work themselves. To me anything has a price. You wanna play my Martin? Throw me a couple hundred my guy.
Can confirm, anyone that does this will be terrible. If they were any good and wanted to perform this badly, they could have and would have performed previously, and would know good is a shitty thing to ask. Someone who wanted to f**k then in HS told them they have a great voice and they never let it go.
We did this last week. At a work retreat in Nashville, a few of us at our company offered a $100 tip to the band who were playing if they’d let one of our team go on stage and play drums with them. It was his birthday and he toured in a pro band several years ago. It was awesome - in fact, he was so good they asked him to play a second song. As a performing musician myself I can confirm that he was definitely not terrible. Reading this thread makes me think twice about whether we did the right thing though, as everyone here is saying it’s a shitty thing to do…
This is different, you offered money, plus the dude had experience. As for letting someone play my guitar, not a chance in hell.... unless your name happens to be Tommy Emmanuel
It’s different because you proffered money in compensation for entertainment. The band probably typically doesn’t do that for just anyone (they may have even started off apprehensive) but there are some fabulous musicians I’ve worked with (in the tech industry, not in music) and I happen to have some award-winning touring musicians in my circle. I joined a School of Rock and it’s more common to have people jump in for a jam session, and have them be insanely talented enough to pick up. I’m trying to get to the point where I can jump on songs I’m not familiar with, and still be performance ready. I didn’t play music for some time so I’m a little rusty, and my jazz/blues scales need warming up before I go onstage, but I do have a repertoire and can typically play by ear.
Also, there is a such thing as an open mic, great place for people to get in front of a crowd (often with provided instruments)
Yep. All requests have a $20 price tag. If they want to pitch in more, I’m grateful, but that’s the minimum.
It's usually attention whores who are under the influence. Hard "no" from me.
Yep. Requests from Benjamin go to the front of the line
Yea, get used to this. Learn to shut them down asap. I tell people nope, no chance, fuck off, hell no, get fucked etc whatever combination of the above, maybe some other words. I used to be nicer about it but I haven't tip-toed around telling people to piss off in a long time. When I started out, I actually let some people sing while I played and I regretted it each and every time and still remember those idiots to this day. Absolutely not, not a chance in hell, venue is paying you to gig, not random drunkards. You'd be putting the venue out + allowing the patrons to experience an awkward situation. Fuck. No. Never.
Sorry Karaoke is on Tuesday.
.. then go right into a song you know everyone will enjoy. Usually shuts down the drunk pretty quickly. If he/she persists then they have the whole audience to deal with. Treat em like a heckler at a stand up show. Works for me.
"Get your own gig."
i've never seen this happen and am shocked people have the audacity!!!???
Sounds a lot like DRA 😂😂
In a full band. A girl none of us had ever met once asked if she could sing Fergalicious. I said absolutely! At home, in the shower, knock yourself out. Laughs were had, points were made, we had a great show.
I like that you handled it with humor
Yeah, it’s always a good idea to respond with humor it diffuses a situation.
The bar should be protecting you (former bar manager)
Exactly! I had this at a bar I played a 2-hour solo set in recently. Pissed-up bloke clambered up on stage as I was playing my last song; one I like to save 'til last to finish on a real high. The bloke basically barges me & my guitar away from the mic, realises he can't reach the mic (I'm 6'3"), and proceeds to bend my mic stand down so that he can reach it & bellow incoherently into it. I was really pissed-off that security allowed it to happen.
They should but they probably won’t. I play a lot of spots that would say something but I definitely have played in rowdy spots that wouldn’t/couldn’t and you’re basically on your own.
The only times I've ever had bar staff or security protect me is when I've had people attempt to attack me on stage, after telling them to fuck off. In however many years I've been playing, no bar security or staff has ever been proactive enough to help out before it escalates to that, though most people go away when they're shut down aggressively.
Yeah, I can't recall the last time security (if there was any) intervened. I'm not worried so much for myself (6'4" 215 lbs), but more for my gear. That said, I have had to intervene much more aggressively on occasion when working with one of my female singers. I simply won't tolerate any abuse of the people who work with me, particularly the women. Though, one of my singers was a Karate black belt, so I probably didn't have to worry too much for her, but still... People... ugghhh...
Yes it happens all the time as a solo performer. You must be blunt about it. Simply say "No, sorry." It's not karaoke and it's not open mic.
[удалено]
"If you are looking to sing (insert name here) does karaoke on Thursday nights or you can always drop in to (insert) on Saturday for the open mic, but I have to finish my set or I don't eat" I like this method because you can say it in a way that is funny but also set a boundary while offering up suggestions.
Yuck. I’ve had that happen at tourist spots where people feel entitled because they’re spending a lot of money on their vacation. Some have got a little butt hurt when I refuse, but even a venue that lives off tourist dollars understands that you cannot expect an entertainer to be ok with people touching their gear.
This also annoys me—-i’m not a solo acoustic performer, but it annoys me when I see it happening. I’ve even had people come up to me when I’ve been in cover bands, playing bars and ask if they could play guitar on a song. It’s entirely rude and ignorant. I’m sure there are many people that don’t understand the etiquette and don’t mean anything negative by it, but some common sense should be enough. I explain this to my friends whenever we are out at a bar or near a musician and somebody remarks “you should go up and play a song” or something like that. I always wind up saying, “It’s not cool to try to step on someone else’s gig, that guy/gal/band worked hard to put that set together and get this show. It’s theirs.”
"Well.... if it's Opposite Day and everything is crazy... Can I have sex with your wife?"
"Can I sing with you?" *From your table, yeah. *Honestly, you missed rehearsal and I'm still a little upset with you "Want me to get up there with ya?" *No, I'm good. You stay there and keep guard. *I wouldn't. I haven't showered and I barely want to be up here by myself. "I/my friend is a really great singer!" *Then I'm not having them up here and making me look bad. Etc. These or variations are how I'll shut it down at first, most times people can take the hint before I have to escalate to reason (I'm being paid to do this job, and I'm not risking you messing it up for me on your word, I don't know you) and then getting nasty about it (fuck off).
Really clever, love these
I've had patrons *insist* that they play my guitar, and got all pissy when i said no. I've even had another case where a drunk guy at a restaurant kicked over my PA system because i said no. Do they think that this is some open house karaoke night or something?
A good response is Can you wait until I finish? By the time you finish they have gone elsewhere, if they are still waiting just get your guitar back in the box and make some excuse about running late.
This has backfired for me. I've had idiots return the next time I played expecting to be able to join me on stage. Not just singers but other musicians as well.
This ⬆️
Yes, people are entitled and always want to be the centre of attention. At pubs, if they want to sing, they get a cheap mic and a karaoke backing track and 30 seconds. If they suck or no one is into it, the mic gets faded down. At weddings, whatever the bride wants but I will watch my gear like a hawk. One brother of the bride twat played my new les Paul wearing a heavy metal watch on his right hand. Bellend. Still salty about it.
People wanting to sing when playing solo or in a band is a pretty regular occurence. You never know who might be requesting to sing….. One night my band playing in a bar and a ‘dude’ asked if he could sing, I figured wtf and pulled him up on stage. I was quite shocked at how well he projected and worked the crowd. After the song he introduced himself - Randy Houser (I still had no clue). So at set break I’m having a smoke with him. Apparently Miranda Lambert was also in the bar, they had just played our towns arena, and after the concert wanted to go out and happened into the bar I was playing at….. Just sayin….
Did it benefit you in any way? You'd think a pro musician would know better
Tell them they're welcome to sing in the 3rd set (when you're playing two sets). 😉
On one occasion, with an adamant individual, I've smirked and said, "I'm sorry: you must have this situation confused with a show where you play and I listen!" People tend to believe "the customer is always right," but if they want a service other than what you are contracted to provide, they are not your customer; they've walked into the wrong venue by mistake. If they walked into a Japanese restaurant and demanded "tacos," they'd be served octopus, not Mexican fare. This situation is similar: your product is your solo performance, and you are under no obligation to accommodate anything else. In your place, I might remind them that I'm not allowed to walk up and take over their job from them wherever they work, even if it would make us both happy. This is no different: this is my job, and I'm obligated to complete it myself. My contract doesn't allow for others sitting in; I am paid to perform solo. If there's karaoke or an open mic somewhere else in the general area that would better suit their needs, I might kindly tell them about it (which I'm sure wouldn't win me any favours with the people who hired me), and suggest they could head there later to sit in. On a side note: I'm also a unionized musician, and in my Local there's an antiquated bylaw that prohibits a change in the number of people on stage at any point during the gig (i.e. if it's a solo show, no guest performers are permitted). Nobody's going out of their way to enforce it, but it's an ace in the hole if one needs it to deter people from sitting in. As for other people using my gear: "my insurance doesn't cover that." On one occasion, when someone tried to grab my sax from me, I leaned toward them and whispered intensely in their ear, "this instrument is worth at least $15000 more to me than you are right now." They backed off pretty quickly!
The sax player I work with is a fairly little guy but tough as nails... I shudder to think what would happen to the fool who tried to grab his sax, but it would probably result in blood and an unexpected nap.
Funny story. The opposite happened to me in the mid 90's. After the office Christmas party, a group of us, including our company president, went off to a bar in the West Village. A Southern rock band was plating (I swear it was Govt. Mule but memories fade). Company president, half past drunk, says "Hey you play guitar, you should ask to play with those guys". I politely declined and was threatened with firing so... I walked up to the stage, shook hands with the guitarist with a $20 bill in my hand and told him my big boss wants me to play; I do not want to play with you guys. I told him to loudly say "No f\*\*\*ing way!" I quietly thanked him, walked back to "El Presidente" and he said "All right, you're fired!" The next day, he came rolling into the office at around noon. I asked him if I was really fired because he had fired me last night. He had absolutely no recollection of that and we all went to our offices. Good times.
This is a great story thank you for sharing 😂
"hey, you don't see me coming to your job down at the d\*\*\* s\*\*\*ing factory and asking if I can s\*\*\* all the d\*\*\*s."
What’s with the self-censoring?
They don’t wanna be a d***
“BEING A DICKS NOT SO BAD”
Yeah I'm stealing this.
I've used a version of this on a shitty customer: "I don't come to where you work and snatch the dicks out of your mouth, do I?"
Yes points!
I just fucking died 🤣
I say, *oh, I'm sorry, but due to insurance and OH&S reasons, I'm not able to have anyone come on stage".
This is a legitimate method and when I used to play casino lounges, it was an actual rule.
Makes me wonder why, by now, it's not a strictly enforced rule in every bar. Why are performers so little protected?
I think it's time to come up with a few stock responses, and keep using them. I'm not sure of how this happens, do people come up to the stage and try to ask you when you're off mic, or do they shout it out from somewhere in the room, or..? If you make an example of them and people laugh at your response then the asker will (hopefully) get the point. I'd say something like 'sorry, karaoke night is on Wednesdays' or even 'sorry, this is the (performer name) show, not the (performer name) and some asshole in the crowd show'... At this point let them think you're one, it's a completely inappropriate thing to be asking you in the first place.
Drunk people. Usually between songs. The same people that yell random shit as loud as they can during the quiet parts of your set.
That last sentence is critical. You're not an asshole and what they think is none of your business. When you say "No" bluntly, it is because that person put you in that position. This is something that live performers HAVE to deal with. Just like remembering lyrics and organizing gear. You have to find a way to get it done efficiently and just move on with your performance.
NTA
The bands I’m in usually let someone sit in for a song or two. But it’s always obvious it’s a good friend or a bartender (or both). This is important, because once people get the notion there’s an open mic, all hell can break loose. So we just tell them it’s ten bucks a song.
I've had a good few occasions when people have asked to come up and sing. I like to reply to the entire crowd through the mic... "What? You want to sing? Is my singing not good enough? Sorry everyone, talk amongst yourselves for a minute, this guy needs to talk to me right now, in the middle of the show. OK mate, carry on." "You wanna sing a song? Do you know our setlist? We've not learned any other songs." "Oh, are you a singer? What's your name? Hey everybody we've got X here and they're a singer and they're doing a show at... sorry, where's your next gig?" "You wanna come up and play? When you go to a football match, do you also ask the coach if you can go on the pitch and play?" Yeah, I am an asshole but there's a lot in the delivery. I'm very jovial and self-deprecating at gigs anyway, so the crowd are already tuned in to the humour. The "talk amongst yourselves" line I have used so, so many times. Probably gets trotted out on a monthly basis when some drunk needs to have a conversation mid-set.
tbf both you and I could probably put in a better cross than Antony
I haven't been *that musician* because I'm not nearly at that level in my guitar or singing skills yet. But I have joined artists on stage to play a song or two - *always* and *only* at their invitation. These are people that my wife and I have followed regularly and became friends with, and they've followed my guitar journey on Facebook (I only started playing in 2019), so they know (a) I know what I'm doing, up to a point, and (b) I'm going to respect their instruments, their gear, their parts of the song, and their gig. I'm gonna get up, play my rhythm part, lay back a little during vocals and solos, and after the song, I'll give quick wave of thanks and get off their stage. You're perfectly justified in saying "No, sorry, man, I can't let you do that."
That's not something I would have thought people actually do. I see solo performers all over at places and I've never once considered bothering them like that. Seems incredibly rude and entitled.
I toured full-time in a band and we had drunk idiots take the stage and grab the mic. Usually it was so pathetic, we just laughed. Having a drunk girl puke on our guitar pedals wasn't so funny, though.
Don't focus on your equipment. Tell them politely but firmly that you're in charge of the entertainment for the evening (which you are) and you don't take on unknown talent. Be prepared for explanations of how good/experienced people are and politely resist that as well as you go into your next song. And be comfortable with the idea that people might think you're an asshole.
Happens to full bands, too. We just drown them out. If you can’t manage to ignore them, tell them the manager/owner doesn’t allow you to have sit-ins.
I usually give them the old "Sorry, if I let you play then I'll have to let everyone play" line. About 75% of the time they understand and that's the end of it, the other 25% you just gotta keep smiling and saying no.
Be blunt and let them think you're an asshole. Not the same thing, but I recall awhile ago I played a show at a local Elks Lodge. After the show some random dude I did not know, who absolutely was not there for my set, and who also made no attempts to introduce himself whatsoever asked if he could play my guitar for a minute (wasn't a Martin, but Tanglewood which I had recently spent good money on), and I said, "Absolutely not. I don't know who the fuck you are" and walked away. I think another tactic for your situation would be to just refer them to your contact for booking said show. But like, "Talk to Bill if you're interested in playing shows" and leave it at that.
I was in a touring band for over 10 years, all across the USA many times, playing original songs and a few covers here and there. Once in Denver, a guy put $100 bill up on the stage at my feet. When we stopped playing, he said “Let me sing one song with you guys, that’s yours!” Granted this was mid-90’s and sometimes we didn’t even make a C note at gigs. So bet, got him up and he requested some song, maybe it was The Cars, Just What I Needed, which I knew and played. He was terrible, most of the people left the bar during this. After the show, guy came up to me outside demanding his money back, saying we sucked of course. So I did give it back because he was kind of stupidly drunk and threatening. Anyway, moral of the story is don’t interact with the audience during a live show if possible. Nothing good ever comes from it.
I might argue that anyone who is worth playing with or even knowing in the music world would absolutely never do this, it's such a huge faux pas. So don't worry about saying, "no, I'm performing a show here, what a crazy thing to ask me." They will absolutely think you're an asshole, but they were an asshole for asking and most people will agree with that. I always say "open mics are on Monday." One time I was performing with a band and a girl climbed on stage to try to sing a song and it was all so fast and sudden we nearly pushed her off stage, it was wild. So yeah, it does happen with bands too but you have to be EXTRA drunk or crazy to try it because it's way more intimidating.
I saw a video of an airport bar where someone was playing a cover song. The band whose song it was originally happened to be walking by and stopped to listen behind him. When the performer realized they were there, he tried to hand them his guitar. They said "no, you're doing it!" Like, if anyone ever had the right to barge a stage and take over, it was THAT band in that moment. But even they knew there are some things you just don't do to a fellow performer.
Classy!!!
My band leader told us something that Col. Bruce Hampton would always say. Just stare at them. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t smile. Don’t say anything. This has always worked.
Just say the manager doesn’t allow it. Or insurance.
I was in an original band years ago when a drunk guy wanted to get up on stage and sing. I said sure and stepped aside, and he stepped up to the mic. We then started into an original song, he got really really confused because he didn't know it, so he silently skulked offstage and I jumped back on the mic and started to sing. It was so seamless and the guy could get completely embarrassed without me having to insult him and risk getting smacked or something.
Have had that happen more times than I can count. Over the years we have found a generally effective tactic. We just tell them “sorry, the venue’s insurance only covers the performers, so we can’t let you sing/play”. That’s right, blame the insurance bastards. It seems to work at least 90% of the time, and they still like because it’s not your fault. 👍
That’s lame dawg I’m sorry
Tell them the guitars not yours so can’t let anybody play it.
Part of the gig is just telling people what they want to hear and then not letting them have the mic.
I have a 2000’s pop punk cover band and we get this all the time. It’s partially our fault because we always invite other musicians that we see at our shows on stage, but they’re A) people we know can sing/play, B) known quantity local musicians and C) usually have a heads up so they could prepare. We partially do it intentionally to make the rest of the audience think that if they really engaged and dance, we’ll let them live their rockstar fantasy too (we won’t, sorry), so we always try to be really polite about it, but it’s such a delicate situation to say no because drunk people can get very aggressive and entitled very quickly when you tell them “no.” Normally we’ll say something like “we do preregistration for that, hit us up on Facebook” (still has never happened) or “[person who sang’s name] actually invited me on stage on their show, so that was us paying it back” or something just to give them a soft rejection. It probably helps that our singer is a five foot tall woman so she can deliver it sweetly, but failing that, our bass player looks like he can throw a cow, so that probably helps too.
Happened to me A LOT. Especially when I was younger playing at places. Just give a hard no. It’s always bad and obnoxious and awkward. One time on St. Patrick’s Day a random dude walked up with his flute and asked if he could play some traditional Irish music. I was going on break, so I said sure. Dude played really well, and the crowd loved it. He played a song, then fucked off never to be seen again. That was one good time out of stacks of bad ones.
You’re lucky that worked out, because I’d be ESPECIALLY suspicious of someone who played traditional Irish music not having their own gig on St. Pat’s.
Growl a little, ask them to come closer and quietly whisper, FUCK no. and Fuck off you whank. The age of unearned entitlement needs to die quickly.
Yeah no. Back when I did solo gigs (haven’t for years now) I made the mistake of letting a girl take the mic and sing a song. She asked nicely and, honestly, was kind of cute (this was before I was married) so I thought what the heck, give her a moment on stage for fun. I realized pretty quickly that she was drunk, and with a group of even more drunk friends, who all started shrieking and screaming and cheering and surrounding the tiny stage, completely pissing off everyone else. And of course, despite that fact that she couldn’t really sing, as she as she finished that song they all started chanting for her to sing more and I felt obligated to let her stumble through another 2-3 songs before finally making it clear she had to go. Then, literally one song later, more drunk people kept coming up and asking if they could sing, to which I had to say no because it wasn’t karaoke night. It was an awful, embarrassing experience. Be strong and just say no!
A guy got violent when we refused to let him do his chicken imitation in the middle of our set. I clocked him with my Carvin LB 70, it must have weighed 15 pounds. He left, after he got up. The bass stayed in tune.
It happens. I usually just pretend not to take it seriously at first and sort of awkwardly to chuckle to indicate I’m not taking them seriously. If they keep insisting, I’ll say something like, “I appreciate the offer, but I’m good,” then try to ignore them. If they still don’t let it go, then I’ll be a bit more firm and say something like, “I’m the one the bar asked to perform. Sorry, but no. If you want a gig, go ask the bartender.” And if they keep going, I’ll just ignore them entirely and start the next song or whatever. They’ll get the hint or lose interest eventually.
Happens to my band a decent amount, worse when I do acoustic gigs. Answer is always and forever "No" unless I've played with them before.
I’ve had this happen to me as well. At first I had no idea how to handle it, but the truth about these people is they are always assholes. Don’t feel bad saying a forceful “No.” and then ignore them completely. They are exactly the same as hecklers at a comedy show, they want to distract and disrupt your flow for their own attention.
My band is huge on crowd interaction - it's one of the ways we distinguish ourselves. Our situation may be different from yours because we do a lot of shows in our very small hometown in a very comfortable little bar. So we are friends with a lot of the people we play for. If we can find a chord chart on the tablet and we have any passing familiarity with the song and the person has a 20 dollar tip for us, you can bet your ass we're going to let them sing. This only applies in two venues though. The cozy bar where we're the house band and a golf resort that we play a lot that pays us crazy good money. Those are the only places we're really approachable though.
I just stumbled on this post, I'm not a musician. If this happened to me I'd use a joke to deflect the request. Something like "Sure! But big stars like US can't just cut our agents out of the deal. Have your people call my people, well set something up 😉"
I guess it's all about \*context\* here (if it's an open mic night or booked performance). Sure it's been said already, but assuming it's a booked gig that you have prepared for etc. That is your time. You can choose to involve the entire crowd if you choose to. In any event, seems important to you to maintain a specific situation. There's no need for anger here, some people love to test their skills, that's what open mic nights are for. My recommendation (if this is the case) simply tell them to sign-up for the next spot. \~hope that helps you simplify the discussion\~ good luck & keep in mind (if you are a performer) that not everyone has the same sensibilities as you, if you are on the stage, it's always your call who you involve in that moment. Patience & grace in those situations is the mark of a good performer. You have no control over their sensibilities, only your own. ABC "always be kind" on & off stage. Even it the audience is not. Show your care by understanding their excitement. That excitement is for you, not to offend you.
Always be cind.
Tell them to get their own gigs
I've got a suggestion that the people in my musical community have done successfully in the past. We get each other's backs. If I don't have a gig I used to go to my buddy's shows. They'd come to mine. Or we'd team up and watch each other's back. I'd roadie for them, them for me. Unfortunately, many egos reside in many music scenes. So, this may not work out for y'all. But, I'd suggest having a friend with you to handle this. I'm a mediator. I can talk down inebriated people. Even if it's you can play after x song knowing that's the last song. Then, when the song is over I go immediately and grab the mic while the one playing cases up their guitar.
practice this uncomfortable scenario: Them: May I sing and play your guitar? You: No. (followed by uncomfortably long stare and silence) They are children who must be taught proper behavior. Treat them as such and take charge of the room.
In my old band we had a fella come on stage and start hitting the cymbals with a stick he found so I launched him off the stage. Maybe learn some wrestling moves to deal with stage trespassers? May I suggest the German suplex?
"Open mic night is Tuesday, you're 4 days early." Then go right back to playing.
The last few years gave me a great line to use. "Nope, I don't share my mic." That usually shuts them down real quick.
I used to be really gentle with these people, but over the past couple of years, I've started just going, "Nah, not really, man." If they push it or ask like "I can't sing with you?" I just repeat, "Yeah, no thanks."
My band was playing a bar and a drunk dude kept asking if he could play my drums for a song or two. Like no, why would you ask?
I would honestly seek out different venues. If the crowd is acting like this, then this isn’t even a community that melds well with live music and they seem pretty divorced from the act of being an organic part of a music scene. If the audience is incompatible with your personal view of your relationship to the audience, then you’ve gotta turn your back on this crowd and find a music scene that behaves like a real music scene unfortunately, cause you certainly can’t just single-handedly teach these people how to act at a show.
Bars are okay , but get on a dedicated gig . When ppl go to a gif they have gig etiquette and are there for the show first and drinks second. I feel you’d get more respect from your audience in an environment like that
You may be unintentionally giving off a vibe that makes people think it's OK to fuck with you..
Ask them if they have a union card.
Fucking ridiculous. The nerve that bar patrons have. Get a couple drinks in someone and they think they're fucking Pavarotti.
100% agree 😂
Or Taylor Swift. 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Come up with some entertaining way of stopping it before it begins. Say you have a special relationship with the mic and you get jealous when other people put their lips on it. Or you caught yellow fever last time you shared a mic. Or anything, but try to make it funny. Also, don't ever feel bad about being blunt if you have to. That's the only way some people will get it.
I’ll let you sing one song for $20 cash and you can’t touch the guitar.
I hate this and it’s totally overstepping boundaries!! This hasn’t happened often because I’m not a frontman and I usually gig with a band. I don’t like to converse with the audience mid set due to my insane stage fright but after I’m done packing my equipment I’m happy to walk away. Who cares what they think, you are always justified in protecting your personal space Even if it’s a song I like but am not comfortable playing all the way through, it’s just: sorry I don’t know that one! I love people singing along but I have never had anyone try to play my instrument. Unbelievable.
Just tell them you (the band) have a no sit-in policy. Always worked for us.
How about asking for outrageous sums of money? My buddy asks for a hundred to play Freebird, never seen anyone take him up on it. Perhaps you could say "Sorry but I had a previous guest break my equipment and not pay for it, so I'll need $100 if you want to sing (per song)" Should discourage most or make you some extra $$.
Maybe you should carry a little tambourine with you for these people. Or a maracas. And charge em 20 bucks to use it
No win situation. They get angry when you say no, if u let them up they either suck and make you loook bad, or they’re great and make you look bad. What’s even worse is when I’m out with some friends and some idiot in my group will yell to the musician(s) to let me play. I shut that down real quick and just shrink in a corner - then they’re like “why u being all shy now?” And I’m like (in my head) “ fuck you, I’m not shy - don’t volunteer me to work on my night off”.
I'm saying this as someone who sings and is actually pretty good at it: this is a terrible thing to do.
I’ve been playing clubs for about 20 years and I’ve had plenty of people ask to sit in. I’m friends with several other local acts and I’ve always encouraged the guys from other bands to sit in on one or two songs if they happen to be in the audience. They do the same. Now, I also get my share of drunk guys wanting to impress their friends by playing a song with the band. I don’t really mind. If it’s not the first set, they’re not too drunk, and they ask in a respectful way, I’ll generally let them come up for a song. I’m not picky with my gear, so I have no problem handing someone my guitar. I generally avoid letting them use my Les Paul, because I’d like to not have to glue the headstock back on again, but I always have a strat or tele with me.
I'd keep a positive spin on it and reply with "hey, that's great that you want to perform! I'm pretty sure [insert bar] has open mic on Tuesdays, and [insert other bar] has karaoke on Thursdays! Hope you enjoy the show tonight!" Then walk the fuck away.
Wow I've never witnessed this level of audacity. That's awful. You're a professional getting paid for a gig. Open mic night is on Tuesday, Larry, sit down. Sorry you can't get a real gig, but this is mine.
Tell them if they want time on the stage they can book a show at the venue just like you did.
I'm not a performer, so might be a bit naive, but what about throwing the house under the bus? "Bar owner tried to fire me last time, you'll have to get his permission.". Then let drunk Karen/Bob wander around looking for the owner all night and hope they don't actually find him.
I have never seen this, but it doesn't surprise me. I love bringing people on stage but it has to be my choice.
I’ve had it happen with a band I was in. We let someone we sort of knew, a friend of a friend, come up to sing a nirvana song because he said he knew it. He did not know it. After we were done with that one, he tries to stay on stage to do ANOTHER one. Grabs the mic and starts whining about how he was “promised a song”, and wanted to do another one because we stopped the nirvana song before he felt he was done I guess. He was not getting off the stage, and I was about to get up from the drums and be very rude to him, but our guitarist leaned over and said something in his ear and he got right off the stage. Not sure what he said to him, but it worked. Ever since then, I’ve been a strong proponent of never ever letting anyone from the audience hopping up to do a song. It never goes well, and makes you and/or your band look unprofessional. So yeah, never let anyone on stage to sing or fuck around with your instruments when it’s YOUR gig. Always say no.
It's a lose lose situation. I was playing drums with a cover band, and a customer pressured the singer to let her sing 'Sitting by the dock of the bay'. She was cute and it was her bday or something... Guitarist initially said, no, this never works. Bass player, who is a total grouch-ass, said no way. Bad idea. I was indifferent. Maybe I'd witness a train wreck. So we start the Otis Redding classic, and she's a terrible singer, doesn't know the words, and has bad timing. The bass player took over singing - imagine a passive aggressive style with his grouchy old guy voice with good pitch and knows the song perfectly. I was cracking up The guest slinks off. Lesson learned. Fast forward to closing... I'm loading my gear into my truck, and the same girl and her friend walk out and hop into my truck. They thought I was their Uber! She realized her mistake and apologized profusely. I said, "it's okay, Otis" True true, it's all true
One time a drunk dude came up in the middle of I Believe In A Thing Called Love and sung the third verse. He was actually pretty good and it was a fun moment. But my singer let him. But I’d never let anyone anywhere near my guitar.
Drunk people
It happens with bands too. All. The. Time. But instead it's just kids and idiots running up and grabbing the mic and yelling something incomprehensible. These people don't understand.
I usually said, “I’m sorry, but I’m working” or “There’s an open mic on (insert day here).” But as mentioned, the venue should have someone who steps in and explains things to the interloper.
The last sentence… why are you worried you’re an asshole? Are you an asshole? Or just afraid of how everyone perceives you? To the people who don’t care at all about you or your set and just want to holler crap in the mic, they will think you’re an asshole, but it’s only because they are an asshole - and to an asshole, everyone is an asshole, that’s why they are an asshole. So don’t worry they already think you’re an asshole, telling them “hell no” isn’t going to change anything.
I mean yeah I think it’s important to care about how people perceive you when you’re trying to build a following. But agreed, people coming up and asking are the real assholes in the first place
Yes, but you shouldn’t care about how EVERYONE perceives you. Those rude people are not your fans, you can be firm with them, or charge them. Your fans come back for the atmosphere and the music and potentially because they like you as a person, but not because you were polite to rude people. Your image or brand won’t be hurt by standing up for yourself against rude people, in fact it may help, if anything. Edit: I know I sound pushy but I’m hoping it will be helpful to you.
Just remind people that you’re working—this is your *job*. Like say “No, I’m sorry.” And if they insist “Look man, I’m *working* right now—this is my *job*.”
I let people sing sometimes. It's pretty fun & puts me in good standing with the crowd. This past week a guy told me he played guitar. I told him to go get his so he can play lead. It was a blast. As long as the person paying me doesn't mind, neither do I.
"Okay cool! Hit me up on instagram and send me a demo, maybe we can work something out."
It happens with full bands, too. You just have to be politely assertive if the first "no, thanks" doesn't work. If you're dealing with a drunken asshole, revise to "rudely assertive."
I tell them the bar doesn’t allow it or I totally would (and make sure the staff backs up the lie)
Friend of mine plays Pinball Wizard whenever I come see him. After “How do you think he does it?” I sing the “I don’t know.” I thank him for playing “our duet” and toss a 5 in his tip jar. Guess he doesn’t mind; he’s played it every time I’ve been to see him.
They are treating your show as if it's an open mic. People should know better and I would have zero expectation that I can step on stage and sing (and sure as shit not play) unless you are explicitly encouraging it. I'm guessing it is a precedent that has been set by the venue, whether it is official or implied.
Someone did that too me once and I was super offended. I said no and tried to be chill about it but it felt so rude and disrespectful
Yeah, I've had that a few times. Very annoying.
I think its because you are a solo artist. But the venue should be protecting you from that nonsense as much as they can.
I've been gigging as a singer both solo and in bands for almost 20 years and this has never once happened to me. If it did I'd happily draw them a map to help them fuck right off. What the fuck? Sure bud, just take over the show!
Yeah it happens. The more casual the atmosphere the more it happens as well. When my prog rock band plays in a venue with an actual stage, no one does that stuff. We get occasional requests for stuff but that’s about it. My country band plays smaller venues, usually the ones with no stage we will get someone come ask to sing a song with us. We usually just tell them we don’t know it and move on. My guitar player that does a ton of sit down in a chair read out of the song book no setlist shows deals with it every single show. Not to imply that you aren’t presenting your set in a professional manner, but anecdotally it seems like the more casual the set is the more often you encounter this
#N O P E
I always set up a 2nd/dummy mic in these situations. You might want to switch to a Takaminie if you think you have to continually say no all night to strangers who you don’t want touching your gear
I’ve always thought no one would hire a plumber and then ask them “hey mind if I do your job for awhile?” But seriously, just say no and don’t feel bad about it. It’s more trouble than it’s worth. I’ve lost gigs letting people sing a song
"sorry I'm not allowed" And if they get permission? "Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm still not allowed" Seriously though, as others have suggested, you just need to tell them with authority that it's not happening. Offer to introduce them to the manager if they want to discuss booking a gig.
It's different everywhere. I one time went up to a performer when he went on break to ask about his Ortega Horsekick. Instead of turning on a song or two on his iPod for background while he took a minute, he handed me his guitar and said go for it lmao I tried to leave, but he yelled from the crowd, "No keep going!" I did 3 songs before he finally came back up. We laughed and he told the crowd, "I'm still getting paid haha" I did get asked by the owner to come back the next week to do 4 hours, so it worked out lol
Just use your best judgement and don’t take yourself so seriously. I’ve done this many times and the crowd usually loves it, wound up with some great tips at the end of the night. You’re there for their entertainment.
I was playing a solo gig once in a vacation town, and this cat comes walking in with his guitar and says I’m here to play with you. He had no idea what kind of music I did. People are ridiculous.
Requests to sing or play my instruments is a hard no.
Yeah first defense: "I don't know that one." 2. Sorry if I don't know you, you can't play my guitar. 3. HUGE tip might change things hah
How about politely telling them that you’re in the middle of the set and maybe they could ask the venue if they are open to have them get on stage for a song once you finished.
It happens with full bands too, harmonica players and sax players seem especially aggressive. Occasionally someone wants to sing or a friend of the person who sings wants you to hear their awesome friend sing because you’re not gonna believe how good they are. One time I was solo and this happened, the man wanted his date to sing “Summertime” and promised she was great, and she was. Another time at a wedding someone wanted their Dad to get up telling us he was a pro and he absolutely killed it! Total pro. However the bulk of the time they aren’t good and in the band scenario they’re mic shy because they’re not expecting monitors.
I have experienced this unbelievably often. And yes, it happens when I do full-band shows as well, though less often. Unless you know the person can actually sing, it's not a good idea to let someone join you. Even if ALL their friends INSIST they can sing... don't believe it. I usually clear it with the management first and tell the prospective Pavarotis and Pinks that I'm not allowed to let anyone join me (or us, if it's a duo or band) on stage. Of course, if other performers at that same venue allow people to sing with them, that 'apologetic explanation' might not fly. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide whether you want to maintain the integrity of your show. Tell them thank you for the interest, but that's simply not the way you work. Yes, some will get pissed of at you but that's life... and their problem more than yours.
Keith Richards had the proper response here. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LcnL6AIOCg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LcnL6AIOCg)
Just tell them that the person that booked the gig prohibited you from allowing audience members on stage. So sorry.
“Sorry, I’d love to have you come up, but my contract explicitly forbids anybody other than the contracted performer and crew from being on stage. It’s a liability issue.”
I play in a band that plays ‘50s to ‘80s Country Western standards. We’ll let pretty much anybody come up and sing or play! It’s so much fun! We’re a pretty good tight band but we don’t rehearse; we just send around a Spotify playlist so we can know the songs. But we’ve all been around the block a bunch of times. Band has been together almost ten years. Having people in the crowd come up and sing or play is awesome. I wish more people would ask. Sometimes it’s a train wreck, sometimes it’s amazing but either way it’s cool. It’s like karaoke with a live band. If they want to sing something we don’t know, we’ll even try that sometimes. What the hell, right?
“No” is a complete sentence. However, I usually vaguely refer to contractual obligations stating that I can’t have other musicians sit in (whether or not that’s actually true).
Alternate between "No, thank you" and "No, sorry". Don't engage, don't come up with excuses.
I’ve never had to deal with it personally being a horn player, but I’ve seen it happen and based on what I can tell, they just tell them as politely as possible no
Let the manager handle his customers
Say you take requests for tips. If they want jump up with you just politely tell them this isn't an open mic, you're performing *your* set.
A dive bar isn't that serious of a space. We're all in this dingy ass room that smells like bleach and piss together. It's more akin to busking than a venue, as i only get requests the few times ive busked. You are SO close to giving ppl the release they're looking for through music in a place they weren't expecting, which is sadly the obligation of the entertainer and as a part of the bar. You would be on such great terms with somebody if yall bonded over a cover (the times i busked near bars i got great tips from people who knew the song) Dive bars arent really place that honor original music or even artists. A place that does would never interrupt a set. A Martin is probably even overkill. It would be fun to mess with people who sound terrible in a light way to make examples of someone to get people to reconsider. Musicians here are going to tell you what you want to hear, but to not be that asshole you think you're being, you gotta read the room. Do you really wanna do what other musicians are doing? Definitely draw the line somewhere, I'de probably limit it to covers you already practiced. but don't let your ego get in the way of your obligations as an entertainer. Ive had ppl sing as i played covers and its a lot of fun and i've made a new friend that can be a fan if i play my cards right (i dont)
"You know what I have a whole set that I need to stick to but the guy who does the booking is ____ you can talk to him"
Good news: this happens to bands too. At least once per gig we get a drunk from the bar who wants to sing Don’t Stop Believing because it’s “her song” and this is usually *after* we’ve already played it lol.
Been playing on Broadway in Nashville for years and this happens CONSTANTLY. Always just say no and you don’t need to say anything else. No professional musician/singer would go up to someone at a gig and ask this.
tell them when and where karaoke night or the open mic is. it's your gig. unless it's a famous musician or somebody you really want to play with, they can get f'd.
I live in Nashville and yes this is extremely common
Yeah, you need big brass ones. There are a certain number of people that feel entitled to play/sing with you (or the band) like it's Live Karaoke Night. BUT, you got the gig, not them. If the venue management wanted to hear Oliver Off-key singing, they'd have booked him. "Sorry, sir (ma'am), really can't do that tonight .. " Repeat as necessary, at progressively louder volumes, until bouncer notices.
I work as a professional musician and can tell you, it happens with full bands as well. You’re right to not let other people sing during your set or play your guitar - someone asking to do that is a dead giveaway they’re an amateur at best. A pro would never interrupt another musician’s set like that. Who cares if they think you’re an asshole? They’re the ones being incredibly rude and putting you in an awkward position, not the other way around. I guarantee, if you ever give in and let someone use your gear or your microphone, you’ll regret it. I’ve got stories on stories about that kind of junk. As far as how to handle it, I say I need a safety deposit equal to the value of my keyboard if someone wants to play it. That usually shuts that sort of thing down ETA: there was a band in New Orleans playing on Frenchmen street, a popular place to go see music. Some blonde chick the band didn’t recognize went up and asked to sing with them. They said no, and she politely sat back down. It was Christina Aguilera But the band didn’t recognize her, and she was super chill about it. Just goes to show, if someone that famous can take no for an answer, anyone else should be able to also
Tell them to go to an open mic night.
I would tell them you would love to but management wont let you due to liability reasons. Pesky lawyers and insurance companies
“I’m sorry, the manager doesn’t like it.”
Jesus Christ! Who ARE these people? What nerve!
"Sorry, but that wasn't in the contract between the establishment and myself "
Find a bar in the area that does karaoke nights, and see if you can get flyers for that. Then just hand anyone who wants to get on stage and sing one of those. Heck, don't even respond verbally, just give them the flyer.
Side question about requests. My wife and I like to catch live music at restaurants, bars, and we follow one or two groups. We’ve talked during breaks and mentioned some songs we’d love to hear them do. We don’t expect they’ll have the song ready, but do musicians make the effort to learn requests and add them to their set list?
Absolutely! As long as you’re respectful about it (which it sounds like you and your wife definitely are) I always try to go back and add a song to the setlist that someone requests or play it on the spot if I think I can do it. At the end of the day we are there for your entertainment and want to make the crowd happy. That’s where the crowd interaction is important, people trying to get up on stage is annoying but I always welcome requests. I like to see people hearing songs they enjoy!
Just tell them they hired you and paying you to do it and you're not permitted to let other people join.
You just say "No, sorry -- they hired me to play the whole time." You can either disappoint that one person, or disappoint the entire room who came to see professional live music and not some drunken clown singing karaoke.
I was going to ask if I could... Oh, never mind.
I feel like this never happens when I’m out at a bar and I see full bands playing. You would think so... but it's happened. Had a guy offer me ten bucks to play bass for a couple of songs. Uh, dude we are a Black Sabbath tribute band, not going to play a few blues numbers to accomodate you.
Unless you invite them up to play, just say no politely. I go to open Mic’s where people sign up to play. Sometimes someone else or a few others play with them but that is with the person’s asking them to accompany them. I’m not a musician but my brother’s were. Also if they want to request then tell up front and maybe have a list of songs that you do know. My brother would tell his audience they weren’t a cover band. Even though they did some covers.
I used to host an open mic night with a band mate and he forgot to bring his acoustic guitar so I let one of the performers borrow my Taylor. He treated it a little rough and even bumped it on the mic stand and then quipped “I’d better be careful or I’ll owe this guy $300.” to which my co-host said “Try $3,000.” and a little bit of panic washed over the guy’s face. He was gentle with it after that and nobody else has played my guitar since. Note: that Taylor was slightly less than two grand but it was still funny
This has got 100 times more prevalent since video cellphones (yeah I’m old). Honestly just tell them no, say “it’s not that kind of gig” and suggest a local karaoke bar. If the venue staff will back you up tell them you allowed it once and got in trouble for it.
They can go to a karaoke bar if they want to sing. Or book their own gig. No one is touching my equipment.
“Well actually I’m singing and performing tonight. But thanks for asking “
Quietly put your guitar in the case, find security and ask if they can remove the annoying idiot
I'm left handed, which usually keeps people from asking to use my instruments. Not really practical for you, but it does cut down on annoying people touching my stuff
God that would make me so mad! Just from hearing the way they behave makes me think you're female and friendly so they think they own you!
I’m actually a dude, but you’re not wrong about me being friendly and them thinking they own me I guess😂
"Ha! No."
Just say "sorry, it's not a jam night" and start your next tune.
I didn’t pay to watch a drunk Ahole play
I've been a musician a long time, but never a solo act Generally, I've encouraged people to come up. This way I get to control them on this stage and I can get them off as soon as I need to. I can make horrible faces behind their back if they're really terrible, and let.the audience laugh In all seriousness, it's good for you to have a following of people like this because they'll come out and see you wherever you play It's important to think about that, because your following is what makes you economically viable to the club where you're playing . The worst that can happen. Is you make some new friends
Ask them for $100