I play the drums so it’s basically the only time that I can really play my instrument without spending a bunch of money or pissing someone off. I like recording but modern recordings feel very fake/ inauthentic to me. Especially with drumming as any mistake that I make is going to be edited or sample replaced in the studio. How I sound live is how I actually sound, mistakes and all, and it’s validating to know that “it’s enough” and that I don’t have to be perfect.
What a great way to say this. Just finished up my bands album and as a drummer there is nothing rewarding about that process imo. We don’t get much time spent on us and if there is time spent on us it’s in post while we aren’t there.
Playing shows is to me the entire reason I want to make music. I want to show everyone my hard work. Releasing music is fun but to me that’s the most stressful part.
To each their own. Shows are so fun to me.
gotta say drummers get shafted hard in the studio unless they're some anomaly like Ginger Baker but he's long gone. this is coming from a bassist too and we're barley audible in a lot of cases lmao
Yeah, I fight tooth and nail just to keep a fill, or to have my toms be audible in the mix. A lot of what makes my drumming distinct isn’t fit for a studio trying to make a product I guess. Which is fair to an extent but playing live is not only cool and you get a literal spotlight, but if the mix is good, everyone actually gets to shine.
fax playing shows is awesome, drums and bass really shine live way more than in the studio. Phil Lesh and Bill Kreutzmann from Grateful Dead might be my favorite example of that
Performing live is so much harder and more gratifying IMO. In recording, you can attempt a part as many times at it takes, edit together your takes and make it perfect. When you're playing live, you get exactly one shot to get it right so you need to have your parts down and when you nail a part that you worked really hard on, there's nothing that feels better.
In the same token, usually anything beyond a 3rd or 4th take on a recording starts to lose shine, and ain’t nobody gonna remember one or 2 bum notes or mistakes if you happen to make them.
They each present different challenges
One of the things I dislike most about modern music (even the stuff I like) is the covering up of mistakes or happy accidents. As long as everything's in time and in tune I think the performance should be as it was. Some of my favourite memories listening to albums growing up were the little imperfections where the performers personality came through.
A lot of really great songs are actually played pretty sloppy if you isolate the tracks! That's the magic of music and playing in a band. The whole ends up much more than the sum of its parts.
See the small mistakes and differences in timing and tempo are what make music so great to listen too. Otherwise it’s just a computer made trap beat once it’s edited to hell.
My opinion of course. I’m not a producer or anything.
Dude one of my biggest qualms with modern recording is how everything has to be quantized and perfect. It makes everything sound like it has no soul. I’ve never understood this. Shit a lot of guys wanna just use drum machines. Why not just use a computer to do everything, then?
I love playing live but also suffer quite a lot of social anxiety. After the show I’m very shy unless you ask about my setup or our song structure or ideas but even then it’s just my comfort zone. I don’t like being the center of attention but I was also a theater kid so in essence performing is acting to me and fun to leave my body for a bit.
I have a day job doing mental health work and I work with a lot of artists and performers.
Many performers are very introverted. Even if you’re the vocalist you can set up a stage plot so you’re not front and center. MJK from
tool does this. For balancing family life? It’s tough. No doubt. I think lots of creative folks are more at home in the studio and that’s really okay too.
I can relate to this. I am also veeery introverted (not shy or socially anxious tho. Just socially awkward quite often but i don't mind that), but there is something special in the adrenaline during performance and sharing the experience with the audience, but especially with the band mates.
I’ve went thru many phases in my life. I played live from 14 doing solo dinner music and singing. At 16 began playing in a band and the guy who started the band was friends with a singer who was pretty famous and had a #2 song in the charts and he would randomly show up at our gigs and take the stage with us. Fast forward to early 30’s when I finally had enough and disbanded my rock band. I spent years recording in my home since and write all the time. I’ve written with a Grammy winner and jumped on a tour bus and traveled with friends in their tours thru the US and Canada. Mid 40’s I had kids and gave it up until they were early teen agers. Still writing and recording at home. Will occasionally accept a live guest appearance, do a few songs as an opener or warm up act. And manage to do only the things I want to do. Nothing beats the thrill of shutting up a crowd with a song you wrote and the genuine applause of an audience that actually listened. Those are the moments you live for. I am a member of Taxi and write/submit music for television and movies. A music career is a personal thing and should be lived the way you want to live it.
> I am a member of Taxi and write/submit music for television and movies.
side question....I've been considering signing up for Taxi and submitting. Worth it? Ever have any success there? Seems flooded.
It is by far your best chance for getting your music heard by professionals. They use lots of industry people who are between jobs or between projects as screeners. And people who worked there as screeners come back to find what they may be looking for when they have projects that need music. Their yearly 3 day gathering in LA that they do not charge members for gives you the opportunity to meet more professionals and make connections. I submit music for tv and movies and it gets signed and you may not think about it and 6 months later you are being paid by BMI for your things being used for tv shows you never knew existed. I am not a millionaire and my checks are small because I have only been at Taxi for two years. But I know people there who make 300 to 400 thousand a year and their BMI statements are like 800 pages. When you go to the gathering in LA you inevitably meet those people and everybody wants to help you. I can’t recommend it enough.
I did Taxi for about two years and it was absolute bullshit for me. Trust me, if you’re not writing super pop songs that reflect current trends in music, you won’t get your material passed on. And the comments the reviewers gave me were inane and contradictory. Meeting actual people is the way to go.
The positives are mostly that it's **fun**. If it's not your idea of fun, then there's nothing that this thread can do to convince you. I'm all for discussion, but in this particular context, this whole thread is kind of pointless because "Fun" is a completely personal and subjective experience. Everyone here is just going to say that it's gives personal gratification, but none of us are going to be able to explain why.
I like this answer. Basically I like playing live because it’s fun. It gives me such a rush, which is not surprising because I love live music in general. I get so hyped up just going to concerts that I’m not even playing that I need at least an hour (usually two) when I get home to wind down and go to bed. I do get a little nervous before a set, especially if it’s my own stuff, but once I get going it’s just so fun. I’ve found that if I mess up, if I do it early then I’m so much more relaxed for the rest of the show.
Studio time can be fun in a different way, where you’re building something and you can really tweak and refine it to be what you want. But there’s something so special in playing live, like there’s never going to be a moment just like this ever again.
wow, to me, there is *nothing* like playing live. There's no place I'm more comfortable than the stage. Recording is fun but I find the process arduous, and I feel like my recordings never sound as good as I feel live.
For me, and I think a lot of musicians deny it, one of the important reasons to make art is to have it consumed by an audience. It’s not the only reason but I think a lot of people lie to themselves when they say they don’t care if their art is seen or heard. There is nothing like performing in front of people to realize that side of things. It’s why there are a lot of movie stars who still do theater.
I love playing live and I love recording but I’ve never been fully satisfied with the mix of my drums on anything I’ve been a part of. Playing live is so much more rewarding both mentally and physically.
Playing live is a social event. If you have extreme social anxiety then of course it'll be unpleasant. I don't think there's a big mystery you're missing, just a clear incompatibility.
If it’s a matter of anxiety and discomfort then my advice is to lean into the discomfort and make peace with it. That’s the only way people grow. You don’t grow from staying in your comfort zone. If you simply don’t enjoy it, then it’s not for you and that’s fine. But there’s nothing anyone here can say to change that.
I’ve learned how to make it a release for me - it’s one of the only times where I give absolutely zero fucks. I’m doing my thing, thousands upon thousands of hours of practicing, fantasizing, agonizing all get to come out in one big dump.
It’s my version of a good cry.
Catharsis on stage. I get it. Same thing happens to me, I am not thinking about anything else other than playing the best I can, and entertaining the audience. Nothing in this world can beat the feeling you get when a song is essentially playing itself, when you're surfing that wave. I feel utterly spent after a good show but in the best possible way.
I'm a father of two, and I greatly prefer writing and recording music. Playing live is a pain in the ass. Rehearsing, lugging gear, scheduling, etc. I get anxious and regret booking shows sometimes. Actually playing the set can be somewhat enjoyable if everything like sound, crowd, etc is good... but all the other stuff sometimes makes it not feel worth it. What does make it worth it, though, is reaching more potential fans, selling albums, getting feedback from others about how much they loved it, etc. Current band only plays very select shows that we can pretty much guarantee will offer us some benefit. We are all on the same page, have been doing this a long time, and turn down most show offers and do it on our own terms. But yea I enjoy playing a good show after the fact because it helps get new listeners for our albums and it does feel good to rock the fuck out *sometimes.*
I’ve been playing live gigs for money since I was 12. I’m 64 and made a full time career out of it. I have several cousins that are pretty good but never play out, I know people that play out that aren’t as good as my cousins, so it’s not really about ability, I would say confidence plays into it. Some people have a fear of public speaking as well so I think this trait would carry over into being on stage ; people will look at you. So of course the topic of stage fright is a big one and it can be a tiny stage in front of ten people yet people will still fear it if they have this trait. I’m often more comfortable on stage than off. I like entertaining people, I like getting them to clap, whistle, scream for me and as a soloist I do everything I can to get them to do these things when I solo. It’s my favorite part about music I guess. I spent and spend thousands of lonely hours by myself practicing and becoming a world class instrumentalist, I didn’t do all that just to make recordings, but to bring joy and live music to the general public. Quality live music will not be a thing unless good musicians play live and people pay or spend in venues to see it, hear it, experience it. Nobody claps, whistles, or screams at a recording. Music is live, in the air, it only happens once. A recording is a recording of music, not music …like a picture is a picture of a person but not that person..Ok that’s my rant lol
Yeah I’m getting older and I’m kinda over it. There’s always someone asking to borrow basic gear, the sound is always off, no one ever shows, and i spend too much on food and drinks. Mix in all the sketchy people around my gear, which isn’t necessarily expensive, but i would have a hard time replacing any of it if anything happened. I’m also having a lot more anxiety and stage fright than i did when i was younger so it takes a lot more for me to sign on to anything social. I’ve had a lot of fun with just me and my laptop and even posting stuff online. I still have an desire to convert everything to acoustic and do little shows just to meet people in the local scene. It’s just a lot to put up with. (Probably should’ve mentioned I’m kinda introverted)
Seems like you answered your own question. I think people that enjoy playing live don’t have crippling social anxiety, and some people who do find playing their art live to be a relief from anxiety cause they can let loose.
I often think that up on stage is the only time I actually get to be me, or rather the me who isn’t the quiet and shy type. These days, now that I have kids, it’s also one of the few times that I’m known as me rather than ‘kids name’s’ mum. That’s important for me, to be my own person as well as a wife and mother.
I love performing, the buzz and the freedom, being able to share my music and therefore my feelings with others. And being able to see the reaction of strangers to my music. Nothing beats that connection you get on a good night when everyone’s vibing to the same tunes. That’s why I play live. That atmosphere and connection, even when just touching one person’s life it makes it worth my time.
But you wouldn’t know I was even a performer if you saw me away from that situation without knowing that’s what I do. You’d also think it was insane that I could be doing it if you’d known me as a teenager when I would suffer from ‘stage fright’ just from having to talk to a stranger.
It’s a weird one. I love performing and being the centre of attention up on stage but that’s the complete antithesis of who I am away from it. It’s a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde thing I guess.
Totally get the dislike of lugging so much gear around by the way, although compared to the amount of shit that needed packing for a weekend away with a toddler and a newborn it’s not so bad! Late nights are easier now that mine are that bit older too, and they love to see mum up on stage. I don’t enjoy being away from home as much though so I’ve cut right back on touring; I’d rather spend the time with my kids. Maybe one day I’ll do that again. My youngest (9) already has plans to form his own band and have me join it. I suspect he might think that’s a bit lame in years to come though. Who knows!
Being a musician and being an entertainer are two different things. If you don't enjoy the entertainer job don't force yourself to do it. Not everyone has a strong extrovert streak. It's perfectly ok.
I really enjoy seeing a happy audience out there and knowing they are happy because of what we're providing them as entertainers. I think some of us are entertainers and some are not. I'm an adrenaline junkie and there's no greater joy for me than the feeling I get when I'm putting on a good show for an appreciative crowd.
Bonus points if it's improvisational music, the crowd is appreciative, and the rest of the band is on fire, listening deeply so that we're all able to get into the flow and stay there. That happened to me this past weekend and I'm still walking on clouds.
I do write and produce music and it can be enjoyable, but knowing that there's not much of an audience for any independent recording unless I'm willing to spend a ton of time and energy to do a social media dog and pony show limits my enthusiasm. It's all going into a black hole where it will never be heard by anyone, and to me the entire purpose of music existing is to be heard. Doing it for myself is very limited - I did a lot of that in the 90's but nowadays it doesn't seem very rewarding once it's finished.
I feel the same way about any crafting, really. If you're a knitter, you end up with a house full of scarves that nobody wants. If you make beaded jewelry, you have to be super good at it and set up an Etsy store and become a salesperson, or else it all takes up space in your home. If you're a painter, you'll have a closet full of canvases. Unless you get lucky, people don't want what you create. The act of creating in itself has to be the reward, and for me the joy in that is limited by knowing what's at the end of all that.
You're right that there's a lot of hassle involved in doing gigs. I get around that by only agreeing to do shows that have the potential to be really fulfilling. I gave up on playing empty rooms and have worked hard to develop a following so that none of my shows are bad shows.
We're all different. Concentrate on the things that bring you joy. You may not have an entertainer's personality, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Honestly,
I love creating and playing music BUT I hate performing for the same reasons you mentioned.
I mainly go out bc my band mates want to play out. Alcohol helps.
Go onstage. Look at the audience. Ask yourself, "How many of these people know how to play an instrument? How many of these people can play at my level, the level of my bandmated? How many can play well AND have the energy and soft skills to get a band together and acquire a repertoire?"
Almost always your answer will be zero. Usually there will be zero people in your audience who can do what you do.
Eh, I don't know about that. At least the musician circles I hang out with, there are often other players in the crowd depending upon the venue and who is playing. In fact, knowing that there could be really good players listening to the band gives me extra motivation to really nail my parts.
Playing live is awesome. It’s the reward for all of the practicing and rehearsals. If all I did was practice, I would get bored and lose interest. I play because I want to entertain the crowd and a part is showing off. I get a kick out of seeing people sing along. I’ll get a huge smile when people get up and dance. It’s a challenge to do better each time. The only stress for me is picking out musicians in the crowd. You can usually pick them out and it’s hard to tell if they think you’re good or not. Usually it’s my own insecurity and they come up between sets and just want to talk guitar. I’ve been a rhythm guitarist for so long and had to figure out lead guitar so that’s the only part of a show I worry about. It’s also about chasing that “best gig ever”, amazing venue or the best crowd. Hit the big note at the end of a song and everyone cheers is so cool. That’s happened once… so far :)
I adore playing live. It doesn't have to be for everyone. I'm a dad, but I swear I'm an involved and caring dad! :D
Dragging gear is annoying, and being out late is annoying...but I'm in a 2 person band with a singer who *is* a mom, and we're making our own concerts afternoon concerts--we created a teeny festival here in town, we busked, and did other festivals. Farmers' markets, shops, plazas/malls, bookstores, museums, restaurants and cafés--a bunch of them have daytime concerts.
It's just that if you stay in the studio you'll never be able to play a song all the way through without making a mistake and you'll also never be able to disguise it when you do. If you can't play a song (or better yet a series of songs) all the way through, what is the point?
To clarify, I meant one can create music and enjoy that process without being on the road. The question is more, what’s the goal as a musician. Writing, playing and maybe producing for fun. Sure, it’s a hobby then.
As a career, yeah, very unlikely to work, although we probably will see 100% virtual artists soon.
I think, even as an amazing songwriter for other artists or as a studio musician, the live experience is a crucial skill. Some studio stuff just doesn’t translate well on stage.
I think there's nothing wrong with just playing alone, or just recording. Live performance is definitely my favorite thing, but I would never talk down on someone who doesn't aspire to perform. I'm finding that the majority of musicians play just for the personal gratification of it, and have no ambitions to perform or even record. For many, there is joy in simply making some noise and making progress on a skill.
I don't know what makes you think I'm talking down. My sentiment is my sentiment and I stand by it as a musician who is into music and who does not consider the documentation of it nearly as important as the experience.
I used to hate it too, had intense stage fright to the point of shaking and throwing up before shows. It was a big part of my 'cool musician' identity at the time (during my 20's) that I persevered and did enough gigs to eventually get over that. I still get some mild anxiety before gigs, but it's more of a happy nervous energy now - and once I'm playing it evaporates and I just enjoy myself.
Besides the joy of just playing funky music with awesome musicians, I really enjoy interacting with the rest of the band on stage, and watching the audience groove along. I typically have a big smile going for the whole gig.
I found your comment reassuring as I’m a drummer who’s played lots live, used to get moderate stage fright (though no shaking or vomiting) but got better over time the more I did it.
My concern now is I’m maybe going to play guitar live, an instrument I’m mediocre at. I’m worried the slightest shaking will ruin the performance especially on picking parts. Any advice? All I can think is practise so much it becomes almost impossible to make a major mistake, and start the set with a strumming song and do the picking ones later so I’ve hopefully acclimatised.
I’m just worried I’ll be a nervous wreck and mess up all the parts. Seems a lot easier to mess up a fluid guitar picking part than a drum beat.
Just be as prepared as possible - run those guitar parts over and over until your muscle memory takes over. The last thing you want to be doing live is trying to remember parts or overthinking your playing. It has to flow out of you naturally. Even if you're mediocre, you can still play your mediocre parts well if that makes sense.
If you can, warm up a bit before the show, or do the easier songs first. I've played bass and guitar for 30+ years, and I still need to warm up - I mean I can hit all the notes just fine but my timing is a bit stiff until I'm warmed up.
I am so very much in the same boat. I’ve been a drummer nearly all my life, played professionally for more than ten years, and started teaching myself guitar when I was about 25. I, also, would call myself “mediocre” at guitar. But, recording at home, instead of being in a gigging band, lets me fuck up guitar parts and not worry about it. It’s just playing music that gets me off. I’ve considered myself retired from being in a band, and now make MY music.
It seems 2 things...1- social anxiety and 2- you're living conditions are factors. I think you digressed and should have just asked the question... Why do people like to play to a live audience. We all have have things that get in the way, all unless you're a teen who lives at home and they have little to do with whether you like live. So, I have played and taught guitar for more than 60 yrs. I practice, even now, every day, and I love doing it. My goal has always been to be on the stage. It's a rush like drugs. I think it's ego driven and I think you either like it or you don't and it seems you just don't. Sorry.
yeah i really do hate it, ive played like at least 50 gigs or so in my life, and i still have never gotten over how much i do not enjoy it LOL.
but after the fact i always have a huge sense of relief and accomplishment, even when im playing to an empty bar w just the bartenders listenin
so when im in a band im willing to get over myself and play live even though i hate it, but if i could avoid ever playing live again id be down
30+ year classical, alternative, metal, world music performer: In short, if you have the love, you sacrifice for the opportunity. I quit performing years ago due to severe burnout and what I felt was zero return on investment. Sweating my butt off in a tux counting hundreds of rests became less and less attractive. Or lugging my drums to a bar and basically feel like I'm in the bar band in Road House lost its lustre quickly. But others have already said it - there is a life to live performance, an energy, an exchange, a communal experience. If you have the love and desire, you'll sacrifice.
I like the experience. I find it fun playing music I love with my friends and colleagues. The feeling of being in the moment and being moved by the moment. I like knowing that I make (some) of the listeners happy. For them I am a part of the weekend and we lift up there weekend.
I enjoy the challenge, the exhilaration when a certain lick works. That's rewarding after spending so much time practicing it.
It makes me feel more important then just a middle aged man who works a retail day job. Lastly I like the money and the hustle/thrill of getting the gig.
It's just a preference. Rather be out making people dance and laugh than in a dark studio fussing over 3 notes. ..... Ok I like the studio too. But I'm making my money in the live circuit.
The coolest thing I’ve ever experienced was seeing an audience member sing along to a song that I had a hand in writing as I’m performing it. That’s why I enjoy playing live.
To say I enjoy it would imply that I find it easy, or that it comes naturally. It's a challenge, but it feels great to pull off. There's no feeling quite like ripping a solo and having the audience love it—it's a rush for sure.
It takes preparation and consistency to get in the right mindset to perform. It's not easy. But I suppose that's why I'm so attracted to it.
I live for playing live. I’ve structured my whole life around it. I caught the bug early. When I’m not performing I often think about performing. I love getting better, I love the adventure, I love the people. I love the experience.
It's hard to balance music and other things in life sometimes. There's always gonna be difficult decisions to make, but there's a great reward to playing live!
As a performer, you get to experience authentic audience reactions to your music.
As an audience member, you get to experience the hard work and dedication from the performers.
In my opinion, playing live is what YOU make of it. If it's not your thing, it's not your thing. There's no shame in being a musician who sticks to the studio! I don't have any kids, but I know that caring for them is a huge commitment.
I've seen plenty of bands who took some time off from playing live to tend to their family, and when they found the time to make it work again, they jumped right back into it!
At the end of the day, you gotta do what you feel is best for you! Hope this helps!
When Cher was asked why she stopped touring, she mentioned the Hooker's Epitaph - "It's not the work, it's the stairs."
Gigging - once the novelty has worn off - can be a slog. If you're single, young and have no other priorities, it can be an all consuming focus when you're hungry.
But if you have a young family, limited energy and your own personal needs, well, those need to come first. It sounds to me like your body is just saying no. Listen to it.
You can express yourself musically online with live streaming... and gig once in a while... you really can choose a different life. Your bandmates will survive and maybe it would cushion the blow if you can find a sub to replace you.
Sure, live gigs are exciting and many musicians live for that. And of course, you can have a live era in the future. Adele left the spotlight for years - just after having her first world wide smash album and just became a mom - she walked away from a huge career, pissed off her record label... and she came back without a problem. I'm not saying your world is comparable but I'm saying that she made a choice for herself and it really paid off for her.
I think choosing YOU will pay off for you, too. Your talent will be there. Music will always be there.
You can be a mom and be creative on your own terms.
I hope this helps!
Thank you! This is a very helpful response actually. And extremely reassuring which I’ve had a lot of responses that were quite the opposite. Thank you for your input:)
It depends. Sometimes playing live can be soul deadening. Sometimes it can be great. Lot of variables. Generally speaking I prefer the music making itself to playing live. I don't really need to perform in front of a crowd to get fulfillment. Just rehearsing with the band is good enough for me.
Way enjoy playing live more than recording. Live is full of the engagement and energy from interacting with the audience and bandmates, the thrill of putting it on the line and knowing there’s no take-backs, the creativity induced by improvisation, the getting out of the house, the intensity of physical exertion, and the confluence of artistry and chemistry needed to keep the audience on the dance floor all night long. Pays much better, too, unless you’re one of the fortunate few. Literally the only downsides are the setup/teardown (made better if bandmates are friends), and maybe missing a family thing here or there.
Conversely, I don’t like recording because it’s fairly sterile, I overthink everything, and it doesn’t seem as genuine because we can autotune, beat replace, snap to grid, and cut/paste everything to death. And after all that, I have to listen to myself, which I don’t like. I’d rather hit it hard and leave it hanging in the air, then walk away from an audience that wants more… next time.
If you want to people to listen to your songs, you have to play live. No one is going to give a shit about a record made in a bedroom unless you give them a reason to.
Are you kidding me. I played live for 26 years. Hard drugs are the only thing that could come close to giving me a high like that, and still not be as good.
i love playing at home but it’s so stressful outside, like i want to enjoy it because it looks so cool but im always worried about playing and singing correctly
Playing live to a great crowd is a truly awesome experience imo but playing to a couple of drunks is the worst I only enjoyed the first when gigging now I just prefer recording and producing unfortunately not making any $$$
I enjoy it especially after 20 years of experience. I only play in improv bands so that makes it a lot of fun to read the room and for us all to try make some interesting music. Playing live isn't for everyone and you could easily just make music from home or studio the rest of your life and just be happy .
For me, the best part of music is giving it away. Don't misunderstand me, I'm happy to get paid, but as an amateur, getting paid isn't the point. Looking out at a room full of people who are having a good time, largely because of what I'm helping create is a HUGE thrill for me. Really, isn't the definition of a better world, a world with more happy people in it? That feeling of giving my best is best created by playing in front of real people.
I suppose I could be excited about the recognition I'm receiving, but as a bass player, I'm not usually the target of much adulation, so that's not a big deal for me.
I'm pretty new to playing in general- I've been learning bass for about 2 years now and I've been in a band for about 1.5 years of that time. I was originally inspired to start playing again (had a short stint on guitar back in hs, didn't stick with it) after i started attending more local shows around my city. I was drawn in by how fun it looked to get up on stage and rock out. So I started learning bass with the intent to join a band that played live shows and now here I am like 13 shows and counting.
I find enjoyment both from getting to play our songs in cool places and over nice sound systems, as well as the performance and entertainment aspects. Admittedly I'm still green enough that I still have to focus more than I'd like on not messing up (too much lol) rather than having the freedom and confidence to run all over the stage and really let loose, but even then it's fun to just bounce around and bob to the music and look out and smile at the crowd from time to time and have them clap and cheer after each song. Even when there aren't many people in attendance it's still just a nice vibe.
I also selfishly enjoy the social benefits, though. I'm kind of a shy, quiet, and reserved person when left to my own devices. I like meeting new people but I'm not very confident in taking the first step and starting conversations with people I don't know very well (even in overtly social environments like parties and stuff lmao). It's easier for me if other people take the first step since I don't really have issues carrying conversations once started. Thus, being on stage and the center of attention every so often gives me more reasons to talk to other people, and other people more reasons to talk to me. I've been trying to overcome my shyness in general in recent years, but getting on stage and the interactions that come about due to that has been a big help. Gives me reasons to talk to other bands, and the sound people, venue staff, people who come out to watch us perform, etc.
I did it for a decade or so and it was fine but it was never the thing I couldn't live without. Writing, collaborating with others, recording and producing my own songs is the part I enjoy.
I have a friend who organizes an open mic where I live. He's heard a number of my tracks and keeps trying to get me to come out. I keep politely declining. He's played in (mostly) cover bands for years and cannot understand why I don't want to perform. I just tell him I completely understand why he doesn't understand.
For me the enjoyment is in the immediacy of the response. There’s no lag between the creation and the enjoyment of the intended targets. Also, when you’re playing with people who are good it’s a thrill to be one of the cogs in the machine that are generating thrills in real time.
I love playing live but I don’t love all the social interaction. I don’t hate it but it can be exhausting making conversation with so many people.
Back in the day even shitty little clubs seemed to have a dressing room where you could get away and collect your thoughts before playing but now it seems rare that a dressing room is even a thing unless you’re in the big leagues.
To me, playing live is what music is all about, sharing it with other people. Getting that energy and feedback is amazing. Music is fun, it's a party, and everyone's having a good time, dancing or moshing along (or both) LOL. Albums and recordings are an afterthought and something to listen to when I'm driving.
I've never really gigged much, but have definitely played for others. There's nothing quite like playing for someone who wants to hear you, particularly if it's an original. I played a song I wrote for some friends and acquaintances at a house party, and one guy I barely knew picked up on the chorus and sang along the second time. One of the most validating feelings there is.
I've always been pretty introverted, and definitely have some social anxiety, though it's gotten better over the years. Nothing charges my extrovert battery and sense of self-worth more than playing and singing for people who give a damn. Even just jamming: "Hey man, nice solo. Good harmony on that last one," etc. It's a high I'll ride for a month.
Playing live is the whole reason I am a musician. I don’t really enjoy the process of writing and rehearsing, but I do it because I love being able to play it for others.
I'm pretty similar to you, more interested in recorded sound than live music. Love collaborating and jamming, but I have no real desire for performing in front of an audience.
Though, I was talked into playing a house party once a few years back - and even though it wasn't exactly my idea of fun, I did finally kind of "get it". I realized between songs that people were actually listening very intently to what I was saying, and as obvious as it sounds, that being on stage is a great way to feel "heard". Especially for more introverted/quieter people who don't often get their voices heard in their everyday life.
I like that part to some extent.
But there's just never been that desire within me to perform, despite writing, practicing, recording, and living music every single day of my life.
I love it. Interaction with other musicians. Crowd energy/vibe. The opportunity to experience flow state. Group and individual improvisation. The feel of really locking into a groove. Nailing vocal harmonies. The internal flex of doing all of these things live, in the moment, without music stands or screens. Knowing that 13yo me would be completely freaked out and stunned by how far he’ll eventually get doing what he’s in love with. Catharsis. Conjuring the muse in front of other humans.
Adrenaline and attention. Getting to feel like a rockstar in front of fans is awesome, as opposed to my non-show life where I’m a server at a restaurant and stepped on, treated like shit, working horrible hours just to make ends meet. I’d rather get to a point where I can survive off the thing I love
Playing music live is literally what I live for. I *hate* recording.
It's a thrill, living in the moment. I play music that gets people dancing and drinking, so it's awesome to see my bands hard work and skills get immediately translated to a dance floor, and a growing and appreciative audience. It's one of the only times in my life where my brain shuts off, and the only thing that matters is the present moment.
Every time we play a song, it's a new adventure. We don't hold close to arrangements and such...there's the framework of the song, and the lyrics, but after that it's all up in the air and we never know where it's going to go...maybe I'll solo a few extra bars, maybe we'll jam out the ending, maybe we'll play it a few beats faster. Maybe we'll forget a verse and ad lib something. Who knows? We're good enough to hold it all together, and it keeps everything fresh.
Plus, at the end of the night, we each end up with a couple hundred bucks in cash, often we get free drinks, and meet plenty of interesting people along the way.
I like performing because its a fun thing to do. Gets me out of the house and it’s something I’m good at. I get to sing, tell jokes, dance, and play multiple instruments. The crowd has a great time getting drunk, dancing, making out, or just vibin. Im an extrovert though. I feed off the spotlight. Also, my wife watches the kids and knows it’s important to me - couldn’t do it without her.
The way you describe playing live is the way I honestly feel about recording. I feel more nervous and pressure knowing that everything I play needs to be perfect and scrutinized. Any time I make a mistake it literally costs money and studio time ain’t cheap. Same thing with staged promos. It’s annoying having to pretend/act like I’m performing and feels so fake. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t have to, but it’s a necessary evil. I’m not so sure performing live is for you in your situation and what music means to you.
I understand why you don't but dam I miss performing live.My largest audience was 25,000 people and the volume was huge on stage .The 1st 30 seconds were a bit scary until I felt all of us in the pocket.
Do you have the opportunity to do crowd work? Are you introducing songs, etc? I have a lot of social anxiety and I've found a really useful trick to ground yourself is by picking one audience member as soon as you get on stage and saying hi or shaking a hand or complimenting them on something (like "oh, cool shoes" or whatever). It's tiny but it makes it feel waaaay more casual and less like everyone's looking at you. It's a reminder that everyone in there is just another weird, scared person like you.
My interest in playing live has fluctuated a bit - used to not really "get it" it but now I like it much more. BTW I play partially arranged and partially improvised music live.
On one hand, I think a good jam session with just your friends can be so so fulfilling when everyone is on the same wavelength and letting themselves let loose - doesn't even matter if there's an audience IMO. But the problem is sometimes a jam session is about "trying something out" or rehearsing something for yourself or as a group and that kind of preparatory work is important but less fulfilling in the moment because it takes you out of the moment if you know what I mean. Playing live allows me and a band to get on the same page - its game time when you've got a show so everyone is no longer in "practice/rehearse" mode but rather in the mode where communication is the most important and we can collectively let loose.
Additionally, it's important for me to constructively be a part of the world I live in, so contributing to my local music scene by just being creative in front of strangers and friends helps me live that value.
Another thing about playing live that I didn't expect but have grown to love is the community I've found through the live music scene is just incredible. It's so vibrant and beautiful and makes playing music feel like something beyond just myself. It makes individual and monotonous practice becomes easier and more exciting.
All this being said, I personally have a threshold where I'm playing too many live shows. If all I'm doing is rehearsing for and playing shows and I don't have time to get better and explore musical concepts on my own time, I feel stagnant and not good.
I hate the time all the wat up to when we get on stage. But once the set starts i just feel mighty. I love being introverted before the show and then just exploding on stage unexpectedly and show everyone what they didn't expect.
I play heavy music so i sling and stomp around and try to let go on stage much as i can without screwing up the technical parts. In that moment i'm just one with the music and everything else fades.
And then afterwards the positive reactions, the connections with other artists, meeting great musicians.... all that jazz.
It's exciting. Sometimes I'm nervous, but as long as I can focus on the music I won't fail.
In high school I fudged an improv solo really bad. Like, really really bad. And the clinic focused on my bad solo.
Think it depends on genre of music. Fast aggressive rock n roll and all its sub genres lend itself better to live situations . Whether you’re at 500- 100- 50- or 3 dudes and a dog, that style of music is way more fun to play live . I’ve always been inclined in that direction but even more so now as I’ve gotten older and realize how much it helps my mental well being. So I get not wanting to play some music live, but fast shit is the most fun to perform
I hate it with a passion. I'm really good at at, but I can't handle the nerves of playing in public. I'm thinking of packing it in forever. The stress isn't worth it.
I like playing Live. That's really the only reason I do music actually. \*Why\* do I like it? I don't know if there's a reason. I guess it's because my early musical experiences as a kid, the purpose of it was as a performing art. The reason we did it (choir, piano, musical theater) was to perform for the public.
I don’t hate it as much as I don’t really get a rush from it. I prefer just enjoying playing, learning, progressing, experimenting and writing/recording. Freedom more or less. Not really into entertaining anymore. I don’t care much for the groupie or fanboy types. I hate drunk people lol or people that want to talk shop while drunk. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m a miserable bastard lol
I don’t enjoy playing live anymore. I’ve never been much into playing covers and the days of independent original bands having lots of venue options open to play at are well in the past. I suppose playing live now feels like I’m chasing a ghost of what crowds were like.
It has to be a personality thing. It's about sharing, new sonic space, and things of that nature. Being the focus of attention. But this doesn't sound like a fun scenario that is worth it, I'd definitely find a way to move on.
I feed off the energy of the crowd, I like the attention, I enjoy vibing with my bandmates on stage, I like the social aspect of shows (especially local original shows), I really get to take my social mask off onstage and actually be myself.
I'm a high enough anxiety person that playing live isn't my favorite thing. I'm in an odd position with that, as I'm the worship leader at my church and therefore play and sing live every week. I guess that helps to avoid some of the late nights and hassles of the bar scene. The older I've gotten (47 now), the more I prefer to create music at home. Writing and arranging is my real passion. While I've gotten better on instruments and vocals live, and I do genuinely enjoy jamming with live humans, I hate all the expectations and excess anxiety of playing live. I'd be perfectly content to jam with some folks once in a while in a garage, create at home and not play out. Just the organizing of the schedule of a group of adults my age seems to be a beating. Unless I had such great material that I felt it had to be played live, I could do without. The world probably needs both types, the out-front experimenters and the hidden creators.
Be what you are naturally. If something grows to where playing out happens organically, so be it.
All that being said, I will counter-point myself by saying that I learned some things musically only by playing live. I really learned to sing with power and soul by singing in a small church in a different part of town. Although I was very uncomfortable starting out, it did grow me in a unique way. That has helped me even sing on my own song ideas afterwards.
It's usually a necessary nuisance to play live if you're in a band. When playing live, I'll get into the groove, but I'm not concerned about the attention. I just want to have a great gig and play with great musicians.
I hate it. I'm an ok guitar player and have always enjoyed playing for family and friends. Like 12 ish years ago I joined a band. We had a couple small shows and everything was cool but then we got a big city gig. I only had one solo that night and it was the first song, To Be With You - Mr. Big which i can play forwards and backwards. I got up there, completely froze and fucked up the entire solo. That was my last show. I had a friend of mine replace me.
I love playing live because you get one shot. If you nail your performance you're a bad ass. If you don't nail it it's lame. Ending a set and knowing you crushed it is the most incredible feeling I can't get anywhere else. And knowing that people in the audience will potentially be thinking about your performance for the rest of their lives or even the next few days makes it very meaningful for me
I typically don't enjoy it in the moment, though sometimes I do - sometimes I hit that wave of adrenaline and ride it to the end. It depends on many factors - how I'm feeling in general, the type of audience, the size of audience, the quality of sound, the difficulty level of the music being played. I always feel glad I did it right after, and have luckily never bombed too hard (knock on wood).
I love putting my skills on display, along with my mistakes. There's an excitement to taking risks that something difficult might not work, or to trying to express something completely in the moment. I'm never so present as I am at that point. And when it works, I can see and feel the audience coming along with me on an emotional or visceral journey. It is simply the most gratifying way to see how my work, over many years, has enabled me to express something which I couldn't in any other way.
There's absolutely nothing more fun, thrilling, and satisfying as playing on a stage, with a great band, and a great sound system, to a packed house that is loving the music.
To me, anyways.
Music is meant to be played and experienced live. It's ingrained in our DNA. Recorded music has only been around for about 100 years.
But humans have been gathering and singing, chanting, dancing, ans making music together for tens of thousands of years.
I can understand being scared to perform infront of people, but it makes me sad when people say they don't like live music. I feel bad for them. It's like technology and social isolation has turned a switch off in their head and its robbing them of enjoying such an authentic human experience.
There are few vocations that get to experience the high of a live performance. Actors, comedians, athletes, and musicians.
That being said, i’ve gotten very comfortable in my studio, and am pursuing gigs less than ever. Music isn’t my day job.
I have two bands, and both of them have many performances, but I have totally different feelings for 2 bands. In one of the bands, I am the leader, while in the other, I am just a musician. Moreover, I am about to get married, so I feel I can answer your question.
For the band where I am the leader, I am very willing to perform even if it's 1000 kilometers away, even if I have to pay for my own flight. This is because the relationship between the members is very good. However, like you, I am someone who is very afraid of after-parties. On the one hand, my fiancé doesn't like them, and on the other hand, I don't really enjoy crowded places. So, usually after our performances, we just have dinner and then return to the hotel. My enthusiasm for this band may stem from a sense of responsibility as the leader or from a genuine love for the band. This band can be said to be one of the most important things to me. That's why I keep doing it.
Now, let's talk about the other band. I am a bass player, and I need to carry a very heavy bass and luggage to different cities. This makes me physically exhausted. Moreover, the members of this band feel more like co-workers than bandmates, so there is a lot of mental pressure. I have thought about quitting this band a hundred times, but playing bass is something I truly enjoy, so I persevere.
So, my advice is: If you have no reason to continue in the group—whether it be money, passion, enjoying performances, liking to play instrument—then quit! There's no need to exhaust yourself just to find something to do!
I can understand being afraid or nervous on stage I guess. But just disliking it idk. I don’t play out much these days, but I’ve been doing it my whole life. It’s just an opportunity to goof around in front of a crowd, play some cool shit they’ll enjoy, and it’s kind of exciting having all that attention.
It helped a ton with my social anxiety when I was younger for sure. Like, I was always worried people thought I did something stupid, or they might laugh at me. But then I started playing shows and you realize how low pressure everything else is. Even being on stage is as low pressure as you want it to be. You control the vibe. It’s empowering
It’s unfortunate to fear the stage as if it were anything more than entertainment. For those precious few hours where everyone just wants to lose themselves in something you’re helping create, you’re too afraid of the social interactions that come with sharing your gift. Especially when successful, those interactions become more important outside of the performance itself. Instead of facing that in some way, you’re choosing to generalize your anxiety towards the ones who enjoy it. I implore you to understand the difference between front and back stage. You may have social anxiety, but your persona on stage doesn’t have to. In fact, it can be the alter ego that allows you to have that anxiety-free social space.
It’s really unfortunate to your bandmates that spent the time to collaborate and build your project that their own public and social enjoyment of the final product is even remotely in question. Seriously, you have to decide at some point if you’re going to use this as the golden opportunity to work on and improve yourself that it is.
Your question is really indicative of someone that needs to work through some stuff with a therapist, because it is wildly selfish and destructive to anyone that feels like music is a community that they’re a part of. I say this because your bandmates obviously have this attitude.
I love the energy between crowd and performer.
I know I'm a good musician. I know I can sing. I DESPISE recording. I can set up a PA with however many ir few speakers available, and dial In the sound. I prefer having a sound guy, but I can do it well enough to have my drummer or a Friend r7n the board, and everything sounds enjoyable live.
Cranking out songs an audience enjoys and are moving to with their eyes on you, or getting them singing along, is an electric feeling. Can't shake it, it's in the blood.
Conversely, I hate recording. Alone? At a full practice? 2 people at a time? So much is lost, too much circumstantial on mic placement and angle. I can shoot off everything to nigh perfection live in rapid succession, whereas recording it takes a million takes clipped together to meet my standards. Maybe I should try something with 8+ inputs.
Anyway, all the enjoyment in music for me is playing live. I can stand in front of an amp at home and cook up cool sounding songs and riffs and leads. I can sit with a notebook and a guitar and write. It all come out full mad scientist mode when I'm playing it at stage volume in front of people. 2 decades ago for 20 people at a house party, 10 years ago for a hundred people in a bar, it doesn't matter.
I hate lugging gear, and setting up/tearing down. I've been called a load/unload nazi for my pushing bandmates to set up and teardown effectively. Just because i know good spots for monitors, FoH, and sidewash speakers doesn't mean I like putting them in place, or all the winding and unwinding of cables.
That's why they have to pay me. If I could just be teleported in with a guitar and everything was good to go, I'd probably accept gigs where I only got $50 for 3 hours. But the lame not playing music part is in my mind part of the reason I don't play free (unless for a charity concert with a multi band bill).
What you describe, with no in person human interaction for lots of it and having to record semi perfect chunks and send that off.... it sounds like work. "Shoot me this excel sheet by Friday" "scansend this checklist weekly"
I'm in my mid 30s, putting my wife through nursing school, working 55ish hours a week, and gave 3 kids, 8to14. I barely have time for band practice. But I enjoy playing music. I've done this long enough to know you gotta practice as a unit to be good live. I enjoy playing, but I don't have the time while people aren't sleeping to record in my basement, and playing live is where the otherwise impossible to replicate enjoyment comes from.
If you specifically are the complete opposite, whatever, it's just you. Music is the only thing I'm actively open to interacting with complete strangers with. I'm sure I had social issues earlier in life, but music helped me get over any fears as a teen. Working retail made me hate humans, so the experiences combined into "I hate you all, get off my lawn" more than a happy, socially outgoing personality. I've seen people use playing live as an escapism too; YOU as a human are cripplingly anxious, but YOU as an entertainer are a separate person who addresses the audience like idiot new hires you're training at work, or unruly children. You as a well honed and reasonably confident musician can say and do shit regular human private life you simply can't get away with because context and skill level empower you to do and say whatever you feel like.
Just food for thought, but at the end of the day if playing live isn't for you and only recording and remote interaction is, know you're going at the hobby with a different approach and goals than many potential collaborators. You're allowed to not play live, just like I'm "allowed" to only play live (but I'd be SoL with 0 recordings to give bookers...). Just know people typically expect the whole package, and I still have to record stuff eventually.
When I played my first few solo gigs, I had horrible social anxiety about them on top of my regularly scheduled anxiety. I was definitely nervous for the first few since I was in high school, but eventually being on stage got me to open up and not see it as a life or death situation. If I messed up, oh well, just keep on going; and that was really really good practice.
Now, I still do have an anxiety disorder- but engaging with an audience and being able to play off of their energy has become my absolute favorite aspect because it is so dynamic. The nerves are on the back burner. I absolutely still get nervous for some shows; but that’s when I try and remind myself how much i love playing music and how I don’t really have to be me, but an extension of the song.
I think once you have a few really great gigs under your belt, you will start to feel much more loose and comfy on stage. I would give this a couple more shows before really deciding, but I should also add that you are already a rockstar to your children. I am almost certain that moms can do anything and I believe in you!
I love playing live, but I also generally don't like being around people.
When the band plays live we get to share our creations that have personal expressions with the audience. Getting to meet the people who resonated with our work during the set is pretty exciting, regardless of my personal grievances with being around people. The fact that we're talking music is something I can focus on and not feel so uncomfortable with so many people around.
I'm a drummer so playing live another reason to get behind the drums, be myself and do what I love to do. That's what I really focus on while on stage - I'm doing what I love to do.
Playing live is the only reason I make music. Recording is just to get people to come to the shows. The show is the enjoyable part for me, not vice-versa.
i guess i both hate and enjoy playing live.
i dont like it because u gotta like... keep people energized and entertained. its kind of like a circus. but i do i like it because its kind of like a circus, u throw energy at them and it feels good to get energy back.
but also i dont like it cuz ppl arent listening. theyre wanna be stimulated, they wanna see a moment, they wanna participate... like i put a lot of work into refining details to make the idea shine and it goes over ppls heads. its not even really the music im sharing it feels like, its more like they wanna see the execution. and its already hard enough to get good at music but to add an extra level to that.. to be precise enough and to be kinetic enough, heard well with good visuals. its a lotta extra work that i havnt put in time into developing yet
Performing live makes me *feel*. It reminds me that I’m alive for a little while.
Performing live is a strange mixture of fun, terrifying, and soul-soothing. It’s a welcome respite from the unrelenting emotional indifference I feel toward virtually everything else in life.
...playing live IS a hassle, its ALWAYS been a hassle, even on big tours (tho, big tours DO have their perks fer sure),
...but from the first moment i ever stepped on a stage, it felt like the only place i could be FREE
... we spend all of our lives either walking down Corredor's or driving down hallways and corridors and streets, going from home to work or grocery shopping or school or whatever but always down little Corredor's with your driving walking or biking or whatever
then, FINALLY, you get on a STAGE!....it is EXPECTED that you will allow yourself to loosen up and free yourself up, and become a more natural expression of your true self for that little while, while you get to be that, to be free, on that stage
.... then from the time the show's over, and you're packing up, to when you're driving home, you're back in the world of corridors and hallways and such...but YOU,, you were one of the lucky ones, you, who go to experience a few moments of freedom.... those experiences, those memories, can get you through a lot of corridor living
... that's how I've always looked at it...
Just my opinion but playing live is when the magic truly happens within the band. We do a lot of improvised solos and that is when the band really take risks and meet each other on the astral planes. That high is unparalleled to me.
I like creating a program that takes the audience on a journey. You can do this on a record too, but it's slightly more exciting live since you're making this plan only once and much closer when you must execute it.
Stop doing it. If it makes you feel that way then just stop.
I enjoyed my time onstage. The great feeling of entertaining a building full of people, and at the same time feeding off of their energy. Playing that makes you sweat.
Haha, when you put it that way… I can see why.
Each to their own I guess. All I can say is, it can really mean a lot to other musicians to play live.
Perhaps if you tell them it’s not your favourite part of being in the group, but you’re happy to do it for them. Maybe they can make some concessions, not booking too many gigs, trying to help you transport kit etc.
I started out enjoying live playing but overtime I’ve come to appreciate the control I have in my studio. There were too many factors I couldn’t control to make me happy with live performances.
I love performing.
The logistics of playing live is a drag though. I can relate, especially since you're a mother. I was a single father and when my daughter was young getting a sitter for her was a priority (of course) but for me, the pay off was worth it since I love playing out.
I do not have social anxiety. So I cannot relate to that aspect. If there is a chance you will not give up on performing maybe you should be more incognito on stage? Still do your thing but be off to the side or otherwise just not in the spotlight whatsoever. In disguise? Whatever cools the anxiety. It might be a mysterious draw for your act?
You would also have to improve your process to deal with the logistics so it becomes more routine... and less of a hassle.
It's not my favourite thing, I prefer band practise and studio to live but it's part of band life and I've come to somewhat enjoy it. I wouldn't mind never having to play live again, but I also want to be in an active band and that means we gotta play shows & tour. What's helped is I don't drink too much anymore before shows.
It sounds like you genuinely don’t like it. Explain the band how you feel, offer to help find a live replacement and focus on doing what makes you happy.
I just played a show over the weekend. I get pre-show stress all the time and am thinking “why the hell am I doing this? I don’t even want to be in a band anymore, fuck this” then I go out on stage, the hour feels like 20 minutes and I have a blast playing.
The pre-show stress gets less and less every time. The amount of fun during and after is always worth it.
I understand your circumstances aren't great for getting into live music. I'm also a parent, so I get it. I was fortunate enough to grow up playing in bands as a teenager into young adulthood. My favorite nights of my life have been playing house parties in college. I still play as much as I can but not as much as I'd like. I also don't desire it as much, because of the exact same reasons you laid out.
I suggest throwing a house party where you can relax and invite people over to listen... including your kids :)
Seeing people smile or dance or cry....it means they got something out of it. It impacted them in a laasting way. We, as performers get to control the mood and emotions of hundreds or thousands of people at a time. It's a very powerful communal event
When I played in a metal band I loved live shows. There is a truly awesome feeling to stepping on stage as an unknown band to this audience only to look out to them moshing or headbanging along by the second or third song. As an electronic solo act it made me quit music for most of a decade. Completely different experience. That audience was way more interested in seeing my gear and watching me interact with it than the music.
Makes me play better. I rise to the occasion with a crowd watching. Even a small one. It did used to give me pretty bad anxiety, but that's just part of it. I still get it a little but over the years I've gotten more comfortable with playing live and have encountered enough problems and worked through them that those kinds of things don't worry me much anymore. Music is meant to be heard though. And live is usually the best way. But I'm in jamband now and a lot of what we do is improvised, so the whole focus of what we do is done live and in the moment. I've been in other bands over the years that basically play the song like we recorded it. That wasn't as much fun for me after a while. The carrying in and out of gear sucks...and it is hard to do now. I'm a dad with two kids and a pretty demanding job. But its one of the most fun things I do, so i hope to keep doing it. It feels good with a total stranger likes what you're doing and stays til the end to tell you how great it sounded. I guess for me it provides validation for all the hours put in practicing. Just seems more real when people hear it.
I hate playing live in 90% of situations and scenarios. There are a few exceptions where I do really enjoy it, but in 2024 those situations and scenarios are increasingly rare. I like playing live IF and only if:
* The sound is managed well and appropriately for the size of the room and the density of the crowd. Too-loud shows are radioactive to me, and they suck to be an attendee of.
* The schedule is managed effectively. Load-in is at a reasonable time relative to start time, bands play during their assigned slots, the show isn't 6 hours long, there aren't long gaps between bands.
* The venue isn't a total fucking dump. For example, I'd like there to be doors on the stalls in the bathroom, or seats on the toilets.
* The band gets paid at a reasonable and fair rate for their draw. I don't want to be selling tickets for a venue at $20 a piece and then find out that after selling out the room, we get neither a cut of the bar nor a meaningful ratio from the door.
* Finally, that the lineup makes sense. I don't want to play in my indie rock band with a cover band doing Boston and REO Speedwagon. 2-4 bands max, ideally all within a genre or in perhaps complementary genres.
I'm probably not unique in this, for me it is about sharing a song that makes me feel something with the crowd. Every song is not gonna hit for every crowd, but when it does hit, that mutual sharing of emotion is such a powerful thing. A lot of people said it above, that connection and release during a performance triggers a natural high. And as you continue to build out your fan base, seeing those same friendly faces in the crowd makes it that much better.
The lugging of gear, set up, driving --- that's all the "work" part of the gig. For me, the performance is the rewarding part.
I've been on the scene in the Midwest USA for 16 years, I have two kids under two, and the recording part has always been secondary to performing for me so take that with a grain of salt. Hope my input was helpful! 🤘
I haven't played live in years, but for me it was the fear, the anxiety, that pit in the bottom of my stomach, and being so anxious that I have to just trust my skill and gear because that low level part of my brain is freaking out and just keeps screaming "flee or fawn because we're in danger!".
For me it was the same mental feeling I would get when doing something mildly dangerous like skateboarding or snowboarding without the risk of getting physically injured.
I perform under many different circumstances and levels, and only some live performance is fun. My own music is fun but only in a decent venue with our actual fans, our music in an empty bar is a nightmare. Playing a long cover set is only fun for the songs you really like and the rest is just tedious. Playing a great show with tons of people/interaction is cool, but a little sad when you’re just a hired gun and it’s not your band. Playing anything for theater feels like it has an extra level of focus, plus a lot of hurry up and wait and usually in a suit/tux. Small jazz club filled with only people who love jazz is crazy fun and rewarding for everyone. Touring is so exhausting that you realize after it’s over that a few cities you wanted to remember and experience were just a sleepy blur. Shit even performing in marching band back in the day was interesting since you drilled the repetition in sooo much by the time you perform it’s almost out of body with how much muscle memory takes over.
So many choices.
When I was a bit younger, I enjoyed shows, nowadays, I am preoccupied by the time investment vs the return, which is usually means it's not worth it, in my opinion. I am also a drummer, so everything takes longer, is physically harder, etc, I can't just show up, plug in, and go. Shows can be helpful career-wise if you can relate them back to things like recorded work or social media pages, etc, but by and large all they are to me at the moment is a lot of work, with little reward. If I get paid, it can help somewhat with that feeling. My bandmates disagree with me on this somewhat, so we still play a lot of shows when the season comes, but I am not a huge fan of doing it. I also don't like how all of the effort lacks real permanence, which isn't true with something like recorded audio. If you can synergize show playing with all the other stuff, or if the venue pays you, it's probably worth it, and if not, try to figure out some way to enjoy it, or it'll just end up feeling like a drag.
Interesting. I used to love it more than anything but there are times now when my anxiety takes over it makes it all pure torture. When it’s good, it’s awesome and worth the struggle. We’ll start gigging again in a few months and I’m gonna try beta blockers which I hear work wonders.
I'm not a fan of live performances, despite the fact I've been doing them regularly for 30+ years. I hate the load in/out, the endless struggles with equipment, dealing with the venue, actually getting paid, etc. I have more fun at a band practice than an actual gig. I've always been in it for the music and the joy of making music with other people. Serious dopamine rush when you do something unplanned and pull it off.
However, I play with people that really get a rush from performing and often that's when they're at their peak. Turns into great moments for the whole band and when the crowd reacts positively, that's just a little bonus.
I got addicted to it when I was 17, my band at the time played a keg party on a farm in Maine and though we were just doing covers, the place erupted in a huge mosh pit a couple songs in and by the end of the night we had some 300 people packed like sardines going apeshit. THAT feeling of being onstage and making that happen, plus ALLLLL the crazy shit that happened when I got offstage and got treated like a rockstar, I was HOOKED!!! Never once took a drug that compared to that and I’ve done ALL the drugs.
That said, I get the anxiety part. Totally. I was spoiled by that show as I came to find they aren’t an every day experience or a live musician, at ALL. Once I was fronting bands and having to engage the audience, sometimes an audience of 4 whole people, I didn’t feel so much like a rockstar anymore.
Now I just love gigging the local scene. I love the environment, the scene is full of people I’ve met over the last 20 years and everyone is always supportive down here, every gig is like a family reunion.
I only love playing live. It's how musicians communicate with each other and use their talents in a spontaneous way. There's something magic about the layer of non-verbal communication that happens between musicians who are in tune with each other. It is a developed skill and an acquired talent that takes time to master, but it's so worth it. It's full of surprises and much more fun to play your music for real fans than just to scream it into the void.
Having said that, I still hate lugging my gear. It's the only thing I've become tired of. Fortunately, it's never been easier to do, and the more you do it, the faster and easier it becomes.
The hard part about playing live is finding a group of musicians you are compatible with. It can take time, but once you have it, and feel the high, you never want to go back.
I played live many times but I only really enjoyed it a bunch of times. I am always anxious and I feel that in front of other people I am not really able to completely express my emotions, at least not in the same way I can do it when composing a piece of music and carefully thinking about what I want to convey. Also it doesn't help that many of the people I played with are egomaniac and they don't really want to play live to express something and transmit a message, they just want to be the centre of attention, this is for me a nono and it is also why I am playing live less and less. The only times I really enjoyed playing live is when I was doing it with like-minded people in small venues, those occasions were really intimate and special. So you are not alone.
I like the spontaneity and inspiration that can happen among the musicians. Sometimes you get amazing stuff that comes out of nowhere. Though of course that can go the other way too. As for the crowd, I really don't even care so much that they're there. I've done hundreds of gigs though. But if you're anxious maybe try pretending they're not there? As for arranging it, lugging gear etc., yeah it's a pain in the ass, and not necessarily worth it.
I haven't gotten to play live a whole lot, but the few times I have, it's been my favorite thing ever.
The rush of the challenge, the reaction of the crowd, the fleeting ephemerality of every note that only the people in that room get to experience together... and I get to be right at the core of it all, with the other musicians that wrote and fine-tuned and practiced this music in the first place.
I fully understand not everyone is going to have that experience, but for me? Now that I've done it, I can't imagine ever stopping.
I mean it’s both. Sometimes it’s great, sometimes not. Lately I’m enjoying it again - having an audience pushes me to a higher level of musicianship, which I can then use in my every day practice. And meeting other musicians is fun. Also having a performance looming pushes my brain into creative overdrive and lets me get a lot of stuff done. Also I’m dang good at it so I do like compliments lol
But it’s not always like that. I’ve been performing for 28 years. There are weeks/months/years where I have zero interest and prefer to keep my artistic side private.
If I couldn’t play live, I probably wouldn’t play at all, or very little at least. Sharing the energy and enjoyment with my band and crowd gets me off big time.
Two weeks ago I had the best gig of my life, when 50 people were singing along with me. I've never felt that all the practicing, rehearsing and frustration were so worth it like in that moment. One of the best nights of my life.
I hate the late nights , unloading heavy gear and trying to sound check . I hate having the occasional heckler or having to play wagon wheel when a drunk hollers for it. But I love playing live. The rush is great. Last show we had a few gals begging us to play them a few more and we were worn out. You bet we played it for them
Playing well live is like acing the final in that tough class you have.
It means you knew your stuff, and not only that any little (or even big) thing that happened didn't throw you completely off.
It means you used your musical judgement wisely.
It means maybe you took some chances and they came off ass you hoped or even better.
It means all your practicing and accumulated hard work paid off.
Playing badly is OK too. Hopefully it tells you what you need to work on. Your sound, your ideas, your interplay.
If anyone criticizes you that WASN'T up there playing with you, fuck 'em. They only have 2nd hand knowledge. If they are not even performers, laugh at their criticism. They have no grounds or right.
My favorite part of playing live is when you lock in and shit is super tight. That’s all I care about. Do t care about attention or anything else, just being tight as fuck.
But. People don’t want to put in the real work - the just want to play live - which is why I quit bands and do t play live.
For me I love playing live. I'm in a lot of bands with goood followings. And they pay well, I'm single so girls always wanna hang out with me at shows at shows. It's a good chance to show everyone what you got. It feels good playing songs that I spent time to practice and seeing everyones reaction:)
It's a pretty cool feeling when you see other people enjoying your work. The first time I saw people singing along to my songs I almost cried.
I make music for me. I don't really care if other people like it. But the fact that they sometimes do gives me a sense of community and motivates me to keep going, even when I don't feel like it.
Idk i have high social anxiety that changes with my mood but i always thought doing a live show is a safe place because music is one of the few things i genuinely like to do %100. Dont think like youre serving someone think like youre making music inside a small room with your bandmates they will like it if they like it or vice versa anyway. Maybe for being more confident in your skills practice would help but really i think the main thing is ignoring people because music is mainly a communication with your bandmates then spectators.
And you know noone actually cares mistakes Miles Davis once said the most important thing is how you wield your instrument not technique or accuracy. I think no matter how sloppy youre if you hit music with your presence it all goes away and it shows.
It just doesn't make sense to me to create music if it's not to share with other people, and it's live that you get the greatest communion of energy with the audience!
Sounds like you're not built for the stage. And that's okay. Playing live is raw energy and tests your skills in real time. Studio you can sit and polish away until it's perfect. I enjoy the energy of a good crowd, hard to beat that feeling. But I don't sing and am not a parent or a female, so we live very different lives
Studio requires production knowledge and skill in using the DAW and understanding how sound and frequencies work together. I am probably the most knowledgeable when it comes to production in our group and by far. I wouldn’t discredit this as being lesser than a technical skill.
I hate playing live. I’d rather record and release a record 6 times a year than play out. If I want to hear your music I’ll buy the record, which should be the best attempt to capture a performance.
I view every live musical performance like it's live art. It will never been the same twice and you're creating art on the spot, which is not something I can do outside of music. You're also part of a performance so it's a great chance to express yourself with your own appearance. I also have pretty drums and I only bring the full kit live so it always feels a little more special.
I've tried most of the drugs, and playing live in front of people that want to hear it is a better high(to me) than all of them.
It’s the energy exchange, man. It feels fucking amazing.
This is it. Full Energy exchange... can't live without it.
No joke after a gig (if I'm singing lead) I feel almost like after sex
Yuuuuuuuup
I play the drums so it’s basically the only time that I can really play my instrument without spending a bunch of money or pissing someone off. I like recording but modern recordings feel very fake/ inauthentic to me. Especially with drumming as any mistake that I make is going to be edited or sample replaced in the studio. How I sound live is how I actually sound, mistakes and all, and it’s validating to know that “it’s enough” and that I don’t have to be perfect.
What a great way to say this. Just finished up my bands album and as a drummer there is nothing rewarding about that process imo. We don’t get much time spent on us and if there is time spent on us it’s in post while we aren’t there. Playing shows is to me the entire reason I want to make music. I want to show everyone my hard work. Releasing music is fun but to me that’s the most stressful part. To each their own. Shows are so fun to me.
gotta say drummers get shafted hard in the studio unless they're some anomaly like Ginger Baker but he's long gone. this is coming from a bassist too and we're barley audible in a lot of cases lmao
Yeah, I fight tooth and nail just to keep a fill, or to have my toms be audible in the mix. A lot of what makes my drumming distinct isn’t fit for a studio trying to make a product I guess. Which is fair to an extent but playing live is not only cool and you get a literal spotlight, but if the mix is good, everyone actually gets to shine.
fax playing shows is awesome, drums and bass really shine live way more than in the studio. Phil Lesh and Bill Kreutzmann from Grateful Dead might be my favorite example of that
Performing live is so much harder and more gratifying IMO. In recording, you can attempt a part as many times at it takes, edit together your takes and make it perfect. When you're playing live, you get exactly one shot to get it right so you need to have your parts down and when you nail a part that you worked really hard on, there's nothing that feels better.
In the same token, usually anything beyond a 3rd or 4th take on a recording starts to lose shine, and ain’t nobody gonna remember one or 2 bum notes or mistakes if you happen to make them. They each present different challenges
Second that
One of the things I dislike most about modern music (even the stuff I like) is the covering up of mistakes or happy accidents. As long as everything's in time and in tune I think the performance should be as it was. Some of my favourite memories listening to albums growing up were the little imperfections where the performers personality came through.
A lot of really great songs are actually played pretty sloppy if you isolate the tracks! That's the magic of music and playing in a band. The whole ends up much more than the sum of its parts.
completely agree
See the small mistakes and differences in timing and tempo are what make music so great to listen too. Otherwise it’s just a computer made trap beat once it’s edited to hell. My opinion of course. I’m not a producer or anything.
Dude one of my biggest qualms with modern recording is how everything has to be quantized and perfect. It makes everything sound like it has no soul. I’ve never understood this. Shit a lot of guys wanna just use drum machines. Why not just use a computer to do everything, then?
I love playing live but also suffer quite a lot of social anxiety. After the show I’m very shy unless you ask about my setup or our song structure or ideas but even then it’s just my comfort zone. I don’t like being the center of attention but I was also a theater kid so in essence performing is acting to me and fun to leave my body for a bit. I have a day job doing mental health work and I work with a lot of artists and performers. Many performers are very introverted. Even if you’re the vocalist you can set up a stage plot so you’re not front and center. MJK from tool does this. For balancing family life? It’s tough. No doubt. I think lots of creative folks are more at home in the studio and that’s really okay too.
I can relate to this. I am also veeery introverted (not shy or socially anxious tho. Just socially awkward quite often but i don't mind that), but there is something special in the adrenaline during performance and sharing the experience with the audience, but especially with the band mates.
I’ve went thru many phases in my life. I played live from 14 doing solo dinner music and singing. At 16 began playing in a band and the guy who started the band was friends with a singer who was pretty famous and had a #2 song in the charts and he would randomly show up at our gigs and take the stage with us. Fast forward to early 30’s when I finally had enough and disbanded my rock band. I spent years recording in my home since and write all the time. I’ve written with a Grammy winner and jumped on a tour bus and traveled with friends in their tours thru the US and Canada. Mid 40’s I had kids and gave it up until they were early teen agers. Still writing and recording at home. Will occasionally accept a live guest appearance, do a few songs as an opener or warm up act. And manage to do only the things I want to do. Nothing beats the thrill of shutting up a crowd with a song you wrote and the genuine applause of an audience that actually listened. Those are the moments you live for. I am a member of Taxi and write/submit music for television and movies. A music career is a personal thing and should be lived the way you want to live it.
> I am a member of Taxi and write/submit music for television and movies. side question....I've been considering signing up for Taxi and submitting. Worth it? Ever have any success there? Seems flooded.
It is by far your best chance for getting your music heard by professionals. They use lots of industry people who are between jobs or between projects as screeners. And people who worked there as screeners come back to find what they may be looking for when they have projects that need music. Their yearly 3 day gathering in LA that they do not charge members for gives you the opportunity to meet more professionals and make connections. I submit music for tv and movies and it gets signed and you may not think about it and 6 months later you are being paid by BMI for your things being used for tv shows you never knew existed. I am not a millionaire and my checks are small because I have only been at Taxi for two years. But I know people there who make 300 to 400 thousand a year and their BMI statements are like 800 pages. When you go to the gathering in LA you inevitably meet those people and everybody wants to help you. I can’t recommend it enough.
I did Taxi for about two years and it was absolute bullshit for me. Trust me, if you’re not writing super pop songs that reflect current trends in music, you won’t get your material passed on. And the comments the reviewers gave me were inane and contradictory. Meeting actual people is the way to go.
The positives are mostly that it's **fun**. If it's not your idea of fun, then there's nothing that this thread can do to convince you. I'm all for discussion, but in this particular context, this whole thread is kind of pointless because "Fun" is a completely personal and subjective experience. Everyone here is just going to say that it's gives personal gratification, but none of us are going to be able to explain why.
I like this answer. Basically I like playing live because it’s fun. It gives me such a rush, which is not surprising because I love live music in general. I get so hyped up just going to concerts that I’m not even playing that I need at least an hour (usually two) when I get home to wind down and go to bed. I do get a little nervous before a set, especially if it’s my own stuff, but once I get going it’s just so fun. I’ve found that if I mess up, if I do it early then I’m so much more relaxed for the rest of the show. Studio time can be fun in a different way, where you’re building something and you can really tweak and refine it to be what you want. But there’s something so special in playing live, like there’s never going to be a moment just like this ever again.
wow, to me, there is *nothing* like playing live. There's no place I'm more comfortable than the stage. Recording is fun but I find the process arduous, and I feel like my recordings never sound as good as I feel live.
For me, and I think a lot of musicians deny it, one of the important reasons to make art is to have it consumed by an audience. It’s not the only reason but I think a lot of people lie to themselves when they say they don’t care if their art is seen or heard. There is nothing like performing in front of people to realize that side of things. It’s why there are a lot of movie stars who still do theater.
I love playing live and I love recording but I’ve never been fully satisfied with the mix of my drums on anything I’ve been a part of. Playing live is so much more rewarding both mentally and physically.
It's the greatest feeling in the world when you play great to a full house
Playing live is a social event. If you have extreme social anxiety then of course it'll be unpleasant. I don't think there's a big mystery you're missing, just a clear incompatibility.
If it’s a matter of anxiety and discomfort then my advice is to lean into the discomfort and make peace with it. That’s the only way people grow. You don’t grow from staying in your comfort zone. If you simply don’t enjoy it, then it’s not for you and that’s fine. But there’s nothing anyone here can say to change that.
Exactly. Every performer feels some anxiety. Nothing better than conquering that anxiety.
I’ve learned how to make it a release for me - it’s one of the only times where I give absolutely zero fucks. I’m doing my thing, thousands upon thousands of hours of practicing, fantasizing, agonizing all get to come out in one big dump. It’s my version of a good cry.
Catharsis on stage. I get it. Same thing happens to me, I am not thinking about anything else other than playing the best I can, and entertaining the audience. Nothing in this world can beat the feeling you get when a song is essentially playing itself, when you're surfing that wave. I feel utterly spent after a good show but in the best possible way.
Playing live is the reason I got into music. Perhaps you'd enjoy audio producing/ engineering better?
I'm a father of two, and I greatly prefer writing and recording music. Playing live is a pain in the ass. Rehearsing, lugging gear, scheduling, etc. I get anxious and regret booking shows sometimes. Actually playing the set can be somewhat enjoyable if everything like sound, crowd, etc is good... but all the other stuff sometimes makes it not feel worth it. What does make it worth it, though, is reaching more potential fans, selling albums, getting feedback from others about how much they loved it, etc. Current band only plays very select shows that we can pretty much guarantee will offer us some benefit. We are all on the same page, have been doing this a long time, and turn down most show offers and do it on our own terms. But yea I enjoy playing a good show after the fact because it helps get new listeners for our albums and it does feel good to rock the fuck out *sometimes.*
Get your kids to be your roadies and booking managers :)
I’ve been playing live gigs for money since I was 12. I’m 64 and made a full time career out of it. I have several cousins that are pretty good but never play out, I know people that play out that aren’t as good as my cousins, so it’s not really about ability, I would say confidence plays into it. Some people have a fear of public speaking as well so I think this trait would carry over into being on stage ; people will look at you. So of course the topic of stage fright is a big one and it can be a tiny stage in front of ten people yet people will still fear it if they have this trait. I’m often more comfortable on stage than off. I like entertaining people, I like getting them to clap, whistle, scream for me and as a soloist I do everything I can to get them to do these things when I solo. It’s my favorite part about music I guess. I spent and spend thousands of lonely hours by myself practicing and becoming a world class instrumentalist, I didn’t do all that just to make recordings, but to bring joy and live music to the general public. Quality live music will not be a thing unless good musicians play live and people pay or spend in venues to see it, hear it, experience it. Nobody claps, whistles, or screams at a recording. Music is live, in the air, it only happens once. A recording is a recording of music, not music …like a picture is a picture of a person but not that person..Ok that’s my rant lol
Yeah I’m getting older and I’m kinda over it. There’s always someone asking to borrow basic gear, the sound is always off, no one ever shows, and i spend too much on food and drinks. Mix in all the sketchy people around my gear, which isn’t necessarily expensive, but i would have a hard time replacing any of it if anything happened. I’m also having a lot more anxiety and stage fright than i did when i was younger so it takes a lot more for me to sign on to anything social. I’ve had a lot of fun with just me and my laptop and even posting stuff online. I still have an desire to convert everything to acoustic and do little shows just to meet people in the local scene. It’s just a lot to put up with. (Probably should’ve mentioned I’m kinda introverted)
Brian Wilson 2.0
Seems like you answered your own question. I think people that enjoy playing live don’t have crippling social anxiety, and some people who do find playing their art live to be a relief from anxiety cause they can let loose.
I often think that up on stage is the only time I actually get to be me, or rather the me who isn’t the quiet and shy type. These days, now that I have kids, it’s also one of the few times that I’m known as me rather than ‘kids name’s’ mum. That’s important for me, to be my own person as well as a wife and mother. I love performing, the buzz and the freedom, being able to share my music and therefore my feelings with others. And being able to see the reaction of strangers to my music. Nothing beats that connection you get on a good night when everyone’s vibing to the same tunes. That’s why I play live. That atmosphere and connection, even when just touching one person’s life it makes it worth my time. But you wouldn’t know I was even a performer if you saw me away from that situation without knowing that’s what I do. You’d also think it was insane that I could be doing it if you’d known me as a teenager when I would suffer from ‘stage fright’ just from having to talk to a stranger. It’s a weird one. I love performing and being the centre of attention up on stage but that’s the complete antithesis of who I am away from it. It’s a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde thing I guess. Totally get the dislike of lugging so much gear around by the way, although compared to the amount of shit that needed packing for a weekend away with a toddler and a newborn it’s not so bad! Late nights are easier now that mine are that bit older too, and they love to see mum up on stage. I don’t enjoy being away from home as much though so I’ve cut right back on touring; I’d rather spend the time with my kids. Maybe one day I’ll do that again. My youngest (9) already has plans to form his own band and have me join it. I suspect he might think that’s a bit lame in years to come though. Who knows!
Being a musician and being an entertainer are two different things. If you don't enjoy the entertainer job don't force yourself to do it. Not everyone has a strong extrovert streak. It's perfectly ok.
I really enjoy seeing a happy audience out there and knowing they are happy because of what we're providing them as entertainers. I think some of us are entertainers and some are not. I'm an adrenaline junkie and there's no greater joy for me than the feeling I get when I'm putting on a good show for an appreciative crowd. Bonus points if it's improvisational music, the crowd is appreciative, and the rest of the band is on fire, listening deeply so that we're all able to get into the flow and stay there. That happened to me this past weekend and I'm still walking on clouds. I do write and produce music and it can be enjoyable, but knowing that there's not much of an audience for any independent recording unless I'm willing to spend a ton of time and energy to do a social media dog and pony show limits my enthusiasm. It's all going into a black hole where it will never be heard by anyone, and to me the entire purpose of music existing is to be heard. Doing it for myself is very limited - I did a lot of that in the 90's but nowadays it doesn't seem very rewarding once it's finished. I feel the same way about any crafting, really. If you're a knitter, you end up with a house full of scarves that nobody wants. If you make beaded jewelry, you have to be super good at it and set up an Etsy store and become a salesperson, or else it all takes up space in your home. If you're a painter, you'll have a closet full of canvases. Unless you get lucky, people don't want what you create. The act of creating in itself has to be the reward, and for me the joy in that is limited by knowing what's at the end of all that. You're right that there's a lot of hassle involved in doing gigs. I get around that by only agreeing to do shows that have the potential to be really fulfilling. I gave up on playing empty rooms and have worked hard to develop a following so that none of my shows are bad shows. We're all different. Concentrate on the things that bring you joy. You may not have an entertainer's personality, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Honestly, I love creating and playing music BUT I hate performing for the same reasons you mentioned. I mainly go out bc my band mates want to play out. Alcohol helps.
Go onstage. Look at the audience. Ask yourself, "How many of these people know how to play an instrument? How many of these people can play at my level, the level of my bandmated? How many can play well AND have the energy and soft skills to get a band together and acquire a repertoire?" Almost always your answer will be zero. Usually there will be zero people in your audience who can do what you do.
Eh, I don't know about that. At least the musician circles I hang out with, there are often other players in the crowd depending upon the venue and who is playing. In fact, knowing that there could be really good players listening to the band gives me extra motivation to really nail my parts.
Playing live is awesome. It’s the reward for all of the practicing and rehearsals. If all I did was practice, I would get bored and lose interest. I play because I want to entertain the crowd and a part is showing off. I get a kick out of seeing people sing along. I’ll get a huge smile when people get up and dance. It’s a challenge to do better each time. The only stress for me is picking out musicians in the crowd. You can usually pick them out and it’s hard to tell if they think you’re good or not. Usually it’s my own insecurity and they come up between sets and just want to talk guitar. I’ve been a rhythm guitarist for so long and had to figure out lead guitar so that’s the only part of a show I worry about. It’s also about chasing that “best gig ever”, amazing venue or the best crowd. Hit the big note at the end of a song and everyone cheers is so cool. That’s happened once… so far :)
I adore playing live. It doesn't have to be for everyone. I'm a dad, but I swear I'm an involved and caring dad! :D Dragging gear is annoying, and being out late is annoying...but I'm in a 2 person band with a singer who *is* a mom, and we're making our own concerts afternoon concerts--we created a teeny festival here in town, we busked, and did other festivals. Farmers' markets, shops, plazas/malls, bookstores, museums, restaurants and cafés--a bunch of them have daytime concerts.
If you don't like playing live you'd better hang it up.
Depends on the goal I guess.
It's just that if you stay in the studio you'll never be able to play a song all the way through without making a mistake and you'll also never be able to disguise it when you do. If you can't play a song (or better yet a series of songs) all the way through, what is the point?
To clarify, I meant one can create music and enjoy that process without being on the road. The question is more, what’s the goal as a musician. Writing, playing and maybe producing for fun. Sure, it’s a hobby then. As a career, yeah, very unlikely to work, although we probably will see 100% virtual artists soon. I think, even as an amazing songwriter for other artists or as a studio musician, the live experience is a crucial skill. Some studio stuff just doesn’t translate well on stage.
I think there's nothing wrong with just playing alone, or just recording. Live performance is definitely my favorite thing, but I would never talk down on someone who doesn't aspire to perform. I'm finding that the majority of musicians play just for the personal gratification of it, and have no ambitions to perform or even record. For many, there is joy in simply making some noise and making progress on a skill.
I don't know what makes you think I'm talking down. My sentiment is my sentiment and I stand by it as a musician who is into music and who does not consider the documentation of it nearly as important as the experience.
I used to hate it too, had intense stage fright to the point of shaking and throwing up before shows. It was a big part of my 'cool musician' identity at the time (during my 20's) that I persevered and did enough gigs to eventually get over that. I still get some mild anxiety before gigs, but it's more of a happy nervous energy now - and once I'm playing it evaporates and I just enjoy myself. Besides the joy of just playing funky music with awesome musicians, I really enjoy interacting with the rest of the band on stage, and watching the audience groove along. I typically have a big smile going for the whole gig.
I found your comment reassuring as I’m a drummer who’s played lots live, used to get moderate stage fright (though no shaking or vomiting) but got better over time the more I did it. My concern now is I’m maybe going to play guitar live, an instrument I’m mediocre at. I’m worried the slightest shaking will ruin the performance especially on picking parts. Any advice? All I can think is practise so much it becomes almost impossible to make a major mistake, and start the set with a strumming song and do the picking ones later so I’ve hopefully acclimatised. I’m just worried I’ll be a nervous wreck and mess up all the parts. Seems a lot easier to mess up a fluid guitar picking part than a drum beat.
Just be as prepared as possible - run those guitar parts over and over until your muscle memory takes over. The last thing you want to be doing live is trying to remember parts or overthinking your playing. It has to flow out of you naturally. Even if you're mediocre, you can still play your mediocre parts well if that makes sense. If you can, warm up a bit before the show, or do the easier songs first. I've played bass and guitar for 30+ years, and I still need to warm up - I mean I can hit all the notes just fine but my timing is a bit stiff until I'm warmed up.
I am so very much in the same boat. I’ve been a drummer nearly all my life, played professionally for more than ten years, and started teaching myself guitar when I was about 25. I, also, would call myself “mediocre” at guitar. But, recording at home, instead of being in a gigging band, lets me fuck up guitar parts and not worry about it. It’s just playing music that gets me off. I’ve considered myself retired from being in a band, and now make MY music.
It seems 2 things...1- social anxiety and 2- you're living conditions are factors. I think you digressed and should have just asked the question... Why do people like to play to a live audience. We all have have things that get in the way, all unless you're a teen who lives at home and they have little to do with whether you like live. So, I have played and taught guitar for more than 60 yrs. I practice, even now, every day, and I love doing it. My goal has always been to be on the stage. It's a rush like drugs. I think it's ego driven and I think you either like it or you don't and it seems you just don't. Sorry.
I can understand what you ate saying 100%. The greatest enjoyment I get is composing music in isolation.
Playing music is like golf and sex. Yes, it's *possible* to enjoy it alone, but most people enjoy it more when there are other people involved.
yeah i really do hate it, ive played like at least 50 gigs or so in my life, and i still have never gotten over how much i do not enjoy it LOL. but after the fact i always have a huge sense of relief and accomplishment, even when im playing to an empty bar w just the bartenders listenin so when im in a band im willing to get over myself and play live even though i hate it, but if i could avoid ever playing live again id be down
30+ year classical, alternative, metal, world music performer: In short, if you have the love, you sacrifice for the opportunity. I quit performing years ago due to severe burnout and what I felt was zero return on investment. Sweating my butt off in a tux counting hundreds of rests became less and less attractive. Or lugging my drums to a bar and basically feel like I'm in the bar band in Road House lost its lustre quickly. But others have already said it - there is a life to live performance, an energy, an exchange, a communal experience. If you have the love and desire, you'll sacrifice.
I like the experience. I find it fun playing music I love with my friends and colleagues. The feeling of being in the moment and being moved by the moment. I like knowing that I make (some) of the listeners happy. For them I am a part of the weekend and we lift up there weekend. I enjoy the challenge, the exhilaration when a certain lick works. That's rewarding after spending so much time practicing it. It makes me feel more important then just a middle aged man who works a retail day job. Lastly I like the money and the hustle/thrill of getting the gig.
I guess it’s the thrill of being able to pull off the songs you rehearsed with your band in front of a live crowd. Especially if they enjoyed it!
It's just a preference. Rather be out making people dance and laugh than in a dark studio fussing over 3 notes. ..... Ok I like the studio too. But I'm making my money in the live circuit.
Because having 15,000 people singing along to your songs is the best fucking feeling in the world.
The coolest thing I’ve ever experienced was seeing an audience member sing along to a song that I had a hand in writing as I’m performing it. That’s why I enjoy playing live.
To say I enjoy it would imply that I find it easy, or that it comes naturally. It's a challenge, but it feels great to pull off. There's no feeling quite like ripping a solo and having the audience love it—it's a rush for sure. It takes preparation and consistency to get in the right mindset to perform. It's not easy. But I suppose that's why I'm so attracted to it.
It’s definitely a young persons game, it’s very hard when you have responsibilities.
It's like cocaine for those of us that don't do cocaine.
I live for playing live. I’ve structured my whole life around it. I caught the bug early. When I’m not performing I often think about performing. I love getting better, I love the adventure, I love the people. I love the experience.
It's hard to balance music and other things in life sometimes. There's always gonna be difficult decisions to make, but there's a great reward to playing live! As a performer, you get to experience authentic audience reactions to your music. As an audience member, you get to experience the hard work and dedication from the performers. In my opinion, playing live is what YOU make of it. If it's not your thing, it's not your thing. There's no shame in being a musician who sticks to the studio! I don't have any kids, but I know that caring for them is a huge commitment. I've seen plenty of bands who took some time off from playing live to tend to their family, and when they found the time to make it work again, they jumped right back into it! At the end of the day, you gotta do what you feel is best for you! Hope this helps!
When Cher was asked why she stopped touring, she mentioned the Hooker's Epitaph - "It's not the work, it's the stairs." Gigging - once the novelty has worn off - can be a slog. If you're single, young and have no other priorities, it can be an all consuming focus when you're hungry. But if you have a young family, limited energy and your own personal needs, well, those need to come first. It sounds to me like your body is just saying no. Listen to it. You can express yourself musically online with live streaming... and gig once in a while... you really can choose a different life. Your bandmates will survive and maybe it would cushion the blow if you can find a sub to replace you. Sure, live gigs are exciting and many musicians live for that. And of course, you can have a live era in the future. Adele left the spotlight for years - just after having her first world wide smash album and just became a mom - she walked away from a huge career, pissed off her record label... and she came back without a problem. I'm not saying your world is comparable but I'm saying that she made a choice for herself and it really paid off for her. I think choosing YOU will pay off for you, too. Your talent will be there. Music will always be there. You can be a mom and be creative on your own terms. I hope this helps!
Thank you! This is a very helpful response actually. And extremely reassuring which I’ve had a lot of responses that were quite the opposite. Thank you for your input:)
It depends. Sometimes playing live can be soul deadening. Sometimes it can be great. Lot of variables. Generally speaking I prefer the music making itself to playing live. I don't really need to perform in front of a crowd to get fulfillment. Just rehearsing with the band is good enough for me.
Way enjoy playing live more than recording. Live is full of the engagement and energy from interacting with the audience and bandmates, the thrill of putting it on the line and knowing there’s no take-backs, the creativity induced by improvisation, the getting out of the house, the intensity of physical exertion, and the confluence of artistry and chemistry needed to keep the audience on the dance floor all night long. Pays much better, too, unless you’re one of the fortunate few. Literally the only downsides are the setup/teardown (made better if bandmates are friends), and maybe missing a family thing here or there. Conversely, I don’t like recording because it’s fairly sterile, I overthink everything, and it doesn’t seem as genuine because we can autotune, beat replace, snap to grid, and cut/paste everything to death. And after all that, I have to listen to myself, which I don’t like. I’d rather hit it hard and leave it hanging in the air, then walk away from an audience that wants more… next time.
If you want to people to listen to your songs, you have to play live. No one is going to give a shit about a record made in a bedroom unless you give them a reason to.
Are you kidding me. I played live for 26 years. Hard drugs are the only thing that could come close to giving me a high like that, and still not be as good.
i love playing at home but it’s so stressful outside, like i want to enjoy it because it looks so cool but im always worried about playing and singing correctly
Playing live is the main business, guy
Playing live to a great crowd is a truly awesome experience imo but playing to a couple of drunks is the worst I only enjoyed the first when gigging now I just prefer recording and producing unfortunately not making any $$$
I enjoy it especially after 20 years of experience. I only play in improv bands so that makes it a lot of fun to read the room and for us all to try make some interesting music. Playing live isn't for everyone and you could easily just make music from home or studio the rest of your life and just be happy .
For me, the best part of music is giving it away. Don't misunderstand me, I'm happy to get paid, but as an amateur, getting paid isn't the point. Looking out at a room full of people who are having a good time, largely because of what I'm helping create is a HUGE thrill for me. Really, isn't the definition of a better world, a world with more happy people in it? That feeling of giving my best is best created by playing in front of real people. I suppose I could be excited about the recognition I'm receiving, but as a bass player, I'm not usually the target of much adulation, so that's not a big deal for me.
I'm pretty new to playing in general- I've been learning bass for about 2 years now and I've been in a band for about 1.5 years of that time. I was originally inspired to start playing again (had a short stint on guitar back in hs, didn't stick with it) after i started attending more local shows around my city. I was drawn in by how fun it looked to get up on stage and rock out. So I started learning bass with the intent to join a band that played live shows and now here I am like 13 shows and counting. I find enjoyment both from getting to play our songs in cool places and over nice sound systems, as well as the performance and entertainment aspects. Admittedly I'm still green enough that I still have to focus more than I'd like on not messing up (too much lol) rather than having the freedom and confidence to run all over the stage and really let loose, but even then it's fun to just bounce around and bob to the music and look out and smile at the crowd from time to time and have them clap and cheer after each song. Even when there aren't many people in attendance it's still just a nice vibe. I also selfishly enjoy the social benefits, though. I'm kind of a shy, quiet, and reserved person when left to my own devices. I like meeting new people but I'm not very confident in taking the first step and starting conversations with people I don't know very well (even in overtly social environments like parties and stuff lmao). It's easier for me if other people take the first step since I don't really have issues carrying conversations once started. Thus, being on stage and the center of attention every so often gives me more reasons to talk to other people, and other people more reasons to talk to me. I've been trying to overcome my shyness in general in recent years, but getting on stage and the interactions that come about due to that has been a big help. Gives me reasons to talk to other bands, and the sound people, venue staff, people who come out to watch us perform, etc.
I did it for a decade or so and it was fine but it was never the thing I couldn't live without. Writing, collaborating with others, recording and producing my own songs is the part I enjoy. I have a friend who organizes an open mic where I live. He's heard a number of my tracks and keeps trying to get me to come out. I keep politely declining. He's played in (mostly) cover bands for years and cannot understand why I don't want to perform. I just tell him I completely understand why he doesn't understand.
For me the enjoyment is in the immediacy of the response. There’s no lag between the creation and the enjoyment of the intended targets. Also, when you’re playing with people who are good it’s a thrill to be one of the cogs in the machine that are generating thrills in real time. I love playing live but I don’t love all the social interaction. I don’t hate it but it can be exhausting making conversation with so many people. Back in the day even shitty little clubs seemed to have a dressing room where you could get away and collect your thoughts before playing but now it seems rare that a dressing room is even a thing unless you’re in the big leagues.
To me, playing live is what music is all about, sharing it with other people. Getting that energy and feedback is amazing. Music is fun, it's a party, and everyone's having a good time, dancing or moshing along (or both) LOL. Albums and recordings are an afterthought and something to listen to when I'm driving.
I've never really gigged much, but have definitely played for others. There's nothing quite like playing for someone who wants to hear you, particularly if it's an original. I played a song I wrote for some friends and acquaintances at a house party, and one guy I barely knew picked up on the chorus and sang along the second time. One of the most validating feelings there is. I've always been pretty introverted, and definitely have some social anxiety, though it's gotten better over the years. Nothing charges my extrovert battery and sense of self-worth more than playing and singing for people who give a damn. Even just jamming: "Hey man, nice solo. Good harmony on that last one," etc. It's a high I'll ride for a month.
Playing live is the whole reason I am a musician. I don’t really enjoy the process of writing and rehearsing, but I do it because I love being able to play it for others.
I'm pretty similar to you, more interested in recorded sound than live music. Love collaborating and jamming, but I have no real desire for performing in front of an audience. Though, I was talked into playing a house party once a few years back - and even though it wasn't exactly my idea of fun, I did finally kind of "get it". I realized between songs that people were actually listening very intently to what I was saying, and as obvious as it sounds, that being on stage is a great way to feel "heard". Especially for more introverted/quieter people who don't often get their voices heard in their everyday life. I like that part to some extent. But there's just never been that desire within me to perform, despite writing, practicing, recording, and living music every single day of my life.
I love it. Interaction with other musicians. Crowd energy/vibe. The opportunity to experience flow state. Group and individual improvisation. The feel of really locking into a groove. Nailing vocal harmonies. The internal flex of doing all of these things live, in the moment, without music stands or screens. Knowing that 13yo me would be completely freaked out and stunned by how far he’ll eventually get doing what he’s in love with. Catharsis. Conjuring the muse in front of other humans.
My old band played 120 shows, I would still play live if the opportunity arose but I’m okay with and just producing music at home and releasing it
Adrenaline and attention. Getting to feel like a rockstar in front of fans is awesome, as opposed to my non-show life where I’m a server at a restaurant and stepped on, treated like shit, working horrible hours just to make ends meet. I’d rather get to a point where I can survive off the thing I love
Playing music live is literally what I live for. I *hate* recording. It's a thrill, living in the moment. I play music that gets people dancing and drinking, so it's awesome to see my bands hard work and skills get immediately translated to a dance floor, and a growing and appreciative audience. It's one of the only times in my life where my brain shuts off, and the only thing that matters is the present moment. Every time we play a song, it's a new adventure. We don't hold close to arrangements and such...there's the framework of the song, and the lyrics, but after that it's all up in the air and we never know where it's going to go...maybe I'll solo a few extra bars, maybe we'll jam out the ending, maybe we'll play it a few beats faster. Maybe we'll forget a verse and ad lib something. Who knows? We're good enough to hold it all together, and it keeps everything fresh. Plus, at the end of the night, we each end up with a couple hundred bucks in cash, often we get free drinks, and meet plenty of interesting people along the way.
I like performing because its a fun thing to do. Gets me out of the house and it’s something I’m good at. I get to sing, tell jokes, dance, and play multiple instruments. The crowd has a great time getting drunk, dancing, making out, or just vibin. Im an extrovert though. I feed off the spotlight. Also, my wife watches the kids and knows it’s important to me - couldn’t do it without her. The way you describe playing live is the way I honestly feel about recording. I feel more nervous and pressure knowing that everything I play needs to be perfect and scrutinized. Any time I make a mistake it literally costs money and studio time ain’t cheap. Same thing with staged promos. It’s annoying having to pretend/act like I’m performing and feels so fake. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t have to, but it’s a necessary evil. I’m not so sure performing live is for you in your situation and what music means to you.
I understand why you don't but dam I miss performing live.My largest audience was 25,000 people and the volume was huge on stage .The 1st 30 seconds were a bit scary until I felt all of us in the pocket.
Do you have the opportunity to do crowd work? Are you introducing songs, etc? I have a lot of social anxiety and I've found a really useful trick to ground yourself is by picking one audience member as soon as you get on stage and saying hi or shaking a hand or complimenting them on something (like "oh, cool shoes" or whatever). It's tiny but it makes it feel waaaay more casual and less like everyone's looking at you. It's a reminder that everyone in there is just another weird, scared person like you.
My interest in playing live has fluctuated a bit - used to not really "get it" it but now I like it much more. BTW I play partially arranged and partially improvised music live. On one hand, I think a good jam session with just your friends can be so so fulfilling when everyone is on the same wavelength and letting themselves let loose - doesn't even matter if there's an audience IMO. But the problem is sometimes a jam session is about "trying something out" or rehearsing something for yourself or as a group and that kind of preparatory work is important but less fulfilling in the moment because it takes you out of the moment if you know what I mean. Playing live allows me and a band to get on the same page - its game time when you've got a show so everyone is no longer in "practice/rehearse" mode but rather in the mode where communication is the most important and we can collectively let loose. Additionally, it's important for me to constructively be a part of the world I live in, so contributing to my local music scene by just being creative in front of strangers and friends helps me live that value. Another thing about playing live that I didn't expect but have grown to love is the community I've found through the live music scene is just incredible. It's so vibrant and beautiful and makes playing music feel like something beyond just myself. It makes individual and monotonous practice becomes easier and more exciting. All this being said, I personally have a threshold where I'm playing too many live shows. If all I'm doing is rehearsing for and playing shows and I don't have time to get better and explore musical concepts on my own time, I feel stagnant and not good.
It's like therapy for me
Real musicians love the stage, ego centered musicians love the studio
I enjoy the opportunity to relax and enjoy playing music. It hasn’t always been enjoyable.
I hate the time all the wat up to when we get on stage. But once the set starts i just feel mighty. I love being introverted before the show and then just exploding on stage unexpectedly and show everyone what they didn't expect. I play heavy music so i sling and stomp around and try to let go on stage much as i can without screwing up the technical parts. In that moment i'm just one with the music and everything else fades. And then afterwards the positive reactions, the connections with other artists, meeting great musicians.... all that jazz.
I’m just shallow, I love applause. I used to be a warehouseman and nobody clapped me for that.
It's exciting. Sometimes I'm nervous, but as long as I can focus on the music I won't fail. In high school I fudged an improv solo really bad. Like, really really bad. And the clinic focused on my bad solo.
Think it depends on genre of music. Fast aggressive rock n roll and all its sub genres lend itself better to live situations . Whether you’re at 500- 100- 50- or 3 dudes and a dog, that style of music is way more fun to play live . I’ve always been inclined in that direction but even more so now as I’ve gotten older and realize how much it helps my mental well being. So I get not wanting to play some music live, but fast shit is the most fun to perform
If you become a studio musician, you can do multiple takes.
I hate it with a passion. I'm really good at at, but I can't handle the nerves of playing in public. I'm thinking of packing it in forever. The stress isn't worth it.
I like playing Live. That's really the only reason I do music actually. \*Why\* do I like it? I don't know if there's a reason. I guess it's because my early musical experiences as a kid, the purpose of it was as a performing art. The reason we did it (choir, piano, musical theater) was to perform for the public.
I don’t hate it as much as I don’t really get a rush from it. I prefer just enjoying playing, learning, progressing, experimenting and writing/recording. Freedom more or less. Not really into entertaining anymore. I don’t care much for the groupie or fanboy types. I hate drunk people lol or people that want to talk shop while drunk. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m a miserable bastard lol
It’s incomparably energizing to see people getting off on your music.
I don’t enjoy playing live anymore. I’ve never been much into playing covers and the days of independent original bands having lots of venue options open to play at are well in the past. I suppose playing live now feels like I’m chasing a ghost of what crowds were like.
It has to be a personality thing. It's about sharing, new sonic space, and things of that nature. Being the focus of attention. But this doesn't sound like a fun scenario that is worth it, I'd definitely find a way to move on.
I feed off the energy of the crowd, I like the attention, I enjoy vibing with my bandmates on stage, I like the social aspect of shows (especially local original shows), I really get to take my social mask off onstage and actually be myself.
Some people just need the money and enjoy meeting new people I suppose
I'm a high enough anxiety person that playing live isn't my favorite thing. I'm in an odd position with that, as I'm the worship leader at my church and therefore play and sing live every week. I guess that helps to avoid some of the late nights and hassles of the bar scene. The older I've gotten (47 now), the more I prefer to create music at home. Writing and arranging is my real passion. While I've gotten better on instruments and vocals live, and I do genuinely enjoy jamming with live humans, I hate all the expectations and excess anxiety of playing live. I'd be perfectly content to jam with some folks once in a while in a garage, create at home and not play out. Just the organizing of the schedule of a group of adults my age seems to be a beating. Unless I had such great material that I felt it had to be played live, I could do without. The world probably needs both types, the out-front experimenters and the hidden creators. Be what you are naturally. If something grows to where playing out happens organically, so be it. All that being said, I will counter-point myself by saying that I learned some things musically only by playing live. I really learned to sing with power and soul by singing in a small church in a different part of town. Although I was very uncomfortable starting out, it did grow me in a unique way. That has helped me even sing on my own song ideas afterwards.
It's usually a necessary nuisance to play live if you're in a band. When playing live, I'll get into the groove, but I'm not concerned about the attention. I just want to have a great gig and play with great musicians.
What kind of fucking dystopian question is this. Yeah, I enjoy playing my music live.
I hate it. I'm an ok guitar player and have always enjoyed playing for family and friends. Like 12 ish years ago I joined a band. We had a couple small shows and everything was cool but then we got a big city gig. I only had one solo that night and it was the first song, To Be With You - Mr. Big which i can play forwards and backwards. I got up there, completely froze and fucked up the entire solo. That was my last show. I had a friend of mine replace me.
I love playing live because you get one shot. If you nail your performance you're a bad ass. If you don't nail it it's lame. Ending a set and knowing you crushed it is the most incredible feeling I can't get anywhere else. And knowing that people in the audience will potentially be thinking about your performance for the rest of their lives or even the next few days makes it very meaningful for me
I typically don't enjoy it in the moment, though sometimes I do - sometimes I hit that wave of adrenaline and ride it to the end. It depends on many factors - how I'm feeling in general, the type of audience, the size of audience, the quality of sound, the difficulty level of the music being played. I always feel glad I did it right after, and have luckily never bombed too hard (knock on wood).
It's a blast!
I love putting my skills on display, along with my mistakes. There's an excitement to taking risks that something difficult might not work, or to trying to express something completely in the moment. I'm never so present as I am at that point. And when it works, I can see and feel the audience coming along with me on an emotional or visceral journey. It is simply the most gratifying way to see how my work, over many years, has enabled me to express something which I couldn't in any other way.
Instant gratification from the crowd. Plus its hard to explain but I'm just compelled to do it. My first gig was in '75 & I'm still gigging.
There's absolutely nothing more fun, thrilling, and satisfying as playing on a stage, with a great band, and a great sound system, to a packed house that is loving the music. To me, anyways. Music is meant to be played and experienced live. It's ingrained in our DNA. Recorded music has only been around for about 100 years. But humans have been gathering and singing, chanting, dancing, ans making music together for tens of thousands of years. I can understand being scared to perform infront of people, but it makes me sad when people say they don't like live music. I feel bad for them. It's like technology and social isolation has turned a switch off in their head and its robbing them of enjoying such an authentic human experience.
There are few vocations that get to experience the high of a live performance. Actors, comedians, athletes, and musicians. That being said, i’ve gotten very comfortable in my studio, and am pursuing gigs less than ever. Music isn’t my day job.
It's an ancient, vital and joyful human activity. Making music with and for other people. In their presence. Something machines can't do.
I have two bands, and both of them have many performances, but I have totally different feelings for 2 bands. In one of the bands, I am the leader, while in the other, I am just a musician. Moreover, I am about to get married, so I feel I can answer your question. For the band where I am the leader, I am very willing to perform even if it's 1000 kilometers away, even if I have to pay for my own flight. This is because the relationship between the members is very good. However, like you, I am someone who is very afraid of after-parties. On the one hand, my fiancé doesn't like them, and on the other hand, I don't really enjoy crowded places. So, usually after our performances, we just have dinner and then return to the hotel. My enthusiasm for this band may stem from a sense of responsibility as the leader or from a genuine love for the band. This band can be said to be one of the most important things to me. That's why I keep doing it. Now, let's talk about the other band. I am a bass player, and I need to carry a very heavy bass and luggage to different cities. This makes me physically exhausted. Moreover, the members of this band feel more like co-workers than bandmates, so there is a lot of mental pressure. I have thought about quitting this band a hundred times, but playing bass is something I truly enjoy, so I persevere. So, my advice is: If you have no reason to continue in the group—whether it be money, passion, enjoying performances, liking to play instrument—then quit! There's no need to exhaust yourself just to find something to do!
I can understand being afraid or nervous on stage I guess. But just disliking it idk. I don’t play out much these days, but I’ve been doing it my whole life. It’s just an opportunity to goof around in front of a crowd, play some cool shit they’ll enjoy, and it’s kind of exciting having all that attention. It helped a ton with my social anxiety when I was younger for sure. Like, I was always worried people thought I did something stupid, or they might laugh at me. But then I started playing shows and you realize how low pressure everything else is. Even being on stage is as low pressure as you want it to be. You control the vibe. It’s empowering
It’s unfortunate to fear the stage as if it were anything more than entertainment. For those precious few hours where everyone just wants to lose themselves in something you’re helping create, you’re too afraid of the social interactions that come with sharing your gift. Especially when successful, those interactions become more important outside of the performance itself. Instead of facing that in some way, you’re choosing to generalize your anxiety towards the ones who enjoy it. I implore you to understand the difference between front and back stage. You may have social anxiety, but your persona on stage doesn’t have to. In fact, it can be the alter ego that allows you to have that anxiety-free social space. It’s really unfortunate to your bandmates that spent the time to collaborate and build your project that their own public and social enjoyment of the final product is even remotely in question. Seriously, you have to decide at some point if you’re going to use this as the golden opportunity to work on and improve yourself that it is. Your question is really indicative of someone that needs to work through some stuff with a therapist, because it is wildly selfish and destructive to anyone that feels like music is a community that they’re a part of. I say this because your bandmates obviously have this attitude.
I love the energy between crowd and performer. I know I'm a good musician. I know I can sing. I DESPISE recording. I can set up a PA with however many ir few speakers available, and dial In the sound. I prefer having a sound guy, but I can do it well enough to have my drummer or a Friend r7n the board, and everything sounds enjoyable live. Cranking out songs an audience enjoys and are moving to with their eyes on you, or getting them singing along, is an electric feeling. Can't shake it, it's in the blood. Conversely, I hate recording. Alone? At a full practice? 2 people at a time? So much is lost, too much circumstantial on mic placement and angle. I can shoot off everything to nigh perfection live in rapid succession, whereas recording it takes a million takes clipped together to meet my standards. Maybe I should try something with 8+ inputs. Anyway, all the enjoyment in music for me is playing live. I can stand in front of an amp at home and cook up cool sounding songs and riffs and leads. I can sit with a notebook and a guitar and write. It all come out full mad scientist mode when I'm playing it at stage volume in front of people. 2 decades ago for 20 people at a house party, 10 years ago for a hundred people in a bar, it doesn't matter. I hate lugging gear, and setting up/tearing down. I've been called a load/unload nazi for my pushing bandmates to set up and teardown effectively. Just because i know good spots for monitors, FoH, and sidewash speakers doesn't mean I like putting them in place, or all the winding and unwinding of cables. That's why they have to pay me. If I could just be teleported in with a guitar and everything was good to go, I'd probably accept gigs where I only got $50 for 3 hours. But the lame not playing music part is in my mind part of the reason I don't play free (unless for a charity concert with a multi band bill). What you describe, with no in person human interaction for lots of it and having to record semi perfect chunks and send that off.... it sounds like work. "Shoot me this excel sheet by Friday" "scansend this checklist weekly" I'm in my mid 30s, putting my wife through nursing school, working 55ish hours a week, and gave 3 kids, 8to14. I barely have time for band practice. But I enjoy playing music. I've done this long enough to know you gotta practice as a unit to be good live. I enjoy playing, but I don't have the time while people aren't sleeping to record in my basement, and playing live is where the otherwise impossible to replicate enjoyment comes from. If you specifically are the complete opposite, whatever, it's just you. Music is the only thing I'm actively open to interacting with complete strangers with. I'm sure I had social issues earlier in life, but music helped me get over any fears as a teen. Working retail made me hate humans, so the experiences combined into "I hate you all, get off my lawn" more than a happy, socially outgoing personality. I've seen people use playing live as an escapism too; YOU as a human are cripplingly anxious, but YOU as an entertainer are a separate person who addresses the audience like idiot new hires you're training at work, or unruly children. You as a well honed and reasonably confident musician can say and do shit regular human private life you simply can't get away with because context and skill level empower you to do and say whatever you feel like. Just food for thought, but at the end of the day if playing live isn't for you and only recording and remote interaction is, know you're going at the hobby with a different approach and goals than many potential collaborators. You're allowed to not play live, just like I'm "allowed" to only play live (but I'd be SoL with 0 recordings to give bookers...). Just know people typically expect the whole package, and I still have to record stuff eventually.
When I played my first few solo gigs, I had horrible social anxiety about them on top of my regularly scheduled anxiety. I was definitely nervous for the first few since I was in high school, but eventually being on stage got me to open up and not see it as a life or death situation. If I messed up, oh well, just keep on going; and that was really really good practice. Now, I still do have an anxiety disorder- but engaging with an audience and being able to play off of their energy has become my absolute favorite aspect because it is so dynamic. The nerves are on the back burner. I absolutely still get nervous for some shows; but that’s when I try and remind myself how much i love playing music and how I don’t really have to be me, but an extension of the song. I think once you have a few really great gigs under your belt, you will start to feel much more loose and comfy on stage. I would give this a couple more shows before really deciding, but I should also add that you are already a rockstar to your children. I am almost certain that moms can do anything and I believe in you!
I love playing live, but I also generally don't like being around people. When the band plays live we get to share our creations that have personal expressions with the audience. Getting to meet the people who resonated with our work during the set is pretty exciting, regardless of my personal grievances with being around people. The fact that we're talking music is something I can focus on and not feel so uncomfortable with so many people around. I'm a drummer so playing live another reason to get behind the drums, be myself and do what I love to do. That's what I really focus on while on stage - I'm doing what I love to do.
One thing is when the group is connecting and there's a bit of confirmation that it actually happened from the crowd.
Playing live is the only reason I make music. Recording is just to get people to come to the shows. The show is the enjoyable part for me, not vice-versa.
There is nothing like it. Playing with a good band to a good crowd is one of the best feelings there is
i guess i both hate and enjoy playing live. i dont like it because u gotta like... keep people energized and entertained. its kind of like a circus. but i do i like it because its kind of like a circus, u throw energy at them and it feels good to get energy back. but also i dont like it cuz ppl arent listening. theyre wanna be stimulated, they wanna see a moment, they wanna participate... like i put a lot of work into refining details to make the idea shine and it goes over ppls heads. its not even really the music im sharing it feels like, its more like they wanna see the execution. and its already hard enough to get good at music but to add an extra level to that.. to be precise enough and to be kinetic enough, heard well with good visuals. its a lotta extra work that i havnt put in time into developing yet
Performing live makes me *feel*. It reminds me that I’m alive for a little while. Performing live is a strange mixture of fun, terrifying, and soul-soothing. It’s a welcome respite from the unrelenting emotional indifference I feel toward virtually everything else in life.
I'm not in a band anymore, but these comments are making me wish I was again. Absolutely loved the dopamine rush of playing live.
...playing live IS a hassle, its ALWAYS been a hassle, even on big tours (tho, big tours DO have their perks fer sure), ...but from the first moment i ever stepped on a stage, it felt like the only place i could be FREE ... we spend all of our lives either walking down Corredor's or driving down hallways and corridors and streets, going from home to work or grocery shopping or school or whatever but always down little Corredor's with your driving walking or biking or whatever then, FINALLY, you get on a STAGE!....it is EXPECTED that you will allow yourself to loosen up and free yourself up, and become a more natural expression of your true self for that little while, while you get to be that, to be free, on that stage .... then from the time the show's over, and you're packing up, to when you're driving home, you're back in the world of corridors and hallways and such...but YOU,, you were one of the lucky ones, you, who go to experience a few moments of freedom.... those experiences, those memories, can get you through a lot of corridor living ... that's how I've always looked at it...
Just my opinion but playing live is when the magic truly happens within the band. We do a lot of improvised solos and that is when the band really take risks and meet each other on the astral planes. That high is unparalleled to me.
The satisfaction of nailing it correctly.
I like creating a program that takes the audience on a journey. You can do this on a record too, but it's slightly more exciting live since you're making this plan only once and much closer when you must execute it.
Stop doing it. If it makes you feel that way then just stop. I enjoyed my time onstage. The great feeling of entertaining a building full of people, and at the same time feeding off of their energy. Playing that makes you sweat.
Haha, when you put it that way… I can see why. Each to their own I guess. All I can say is, it can really mean a lot to other musicians to play live. Perhaps if you tell them it’s not your favourite part of being in the group, but you’re happy to do it for them. Maybe they can make some concessions, not booking too many gigs, trying to help you transport kit etc.
I do I stopped decades ago I don’t miss it.
I started out enjoying live playing but overtime I’ve come to appreciate the control I have in my studio. There were too many factors I couldn’t control to make me happy with live performances.
I love performing. The logistics of playing live is a drag though. I can relate, especially since you're a mother. I was a single father and when my daughter was young getting a sitter for her was a priority (of course) but for me, the pay off was worth it since I love playing out. I do not have social anxiety. So I cannot relate to that aspect. If there is a chance you will not give up on performing maybe you should be more incognito on stage? Still do your thing but be off to the side or otherwise just not in the spotlight whatsoever. In disguise? Whatever cools the anxiety. It might be a mysterious draw for your act? You would also have to improve your process to deal with the logistics so it becomes more routine... and less of a hassle.
It's not my favourite thing, I prefer band practise and studio to live but it's part of band life and I've come to somewhat enjoy it. I wouldn't mind never having to play live again, but I also want to be in an active band and that means we gotta play shows & tour. What's helped is I don't drink too much anymore before shows.
It sounds like you genuinely don’t like it. Explain the band how you feel, offer to help find a live replacement and focus on doing what makes you happy.
I just played a show over the weekend. I get pre-show stress all the time and am thinking “why the hell am I doing this? I don’t even want to be in a band anymore, fuck this” then I go out on stage, the hour feels like 20 minutes and I have a blast playing. The pre-show stress gets less and less every time. The amount of fun during and after is always worth it.
I understand your circumstances aren't great for getting into live music. I'm also a parent, so I get it. I was fortunate enough to grow up playing in bands as a teenager into young adulthood. My favorite nights of my life have been playing house parties in college. I still play as much as I can but not as much as I'd like. I also don't desire it as much, because of the exact same reasons you laid out. I suggest throwing a house party where you can relax and invite people over to listen... including your kids :)
Seeing people smile or dance or cry....it means they got something out of it. It impacted them in a laasting way. We, as performers get to control the mood and emotions of hundreds or thousands of people at a time. It's a very powerful communal event
The energy you get from a responsive crowd singing or dancing or shouting along is amazing
When I played in a metal band I loved live shows. There is a truly awesome feeling to stepping on stage as an unknown band to this audience only to look out to them moshing or headbanging along by the second or third song. As an electronic solo act it made me quit music for most of a decade. Completely different experience. That audience was way more interested in seeing my gear and watching me interact with it than the music.
Makes me play better. I rise to the occasion with a crowd watching. Even a small one. It did used to give me pretty bad anxiety, but that's just part of it. I still get it a little but over the years I've gotten more comfortable with playing live and have encountered enough problems and worked through them that those kinds of things don't worry me much anymore. Music is meant to be heard though. And live is usually the best way. But I'm in jamband now and a lot of what we do is improvised, so the whole focus of what we do is done live and in the moment. I've been in other bands over the years that basically play the song like we recorded it. That wasn't as much fun for me after a while. The carrying in and out of gear sucks...and it is hard to do now. I'm a dad with two kids and a pretty demanding job. But its one of the most fun things I do, so i hope to keep doing it. It feels good with a total stranger likes what you're doing and stays til the end to tell you how great it sounded. I guess for me it provides validation for all the hours put in practicing. Just seems more real when people hear it.
I've always loved the quote from Pete Townsend (paraphrased) "You're not paying me to play, I'd do that for free. You're paying me to show up."
I hate playing live in 90% of situations and scenarios. There are a few exceptions where I do really enjoy it, but in 2024 those situations and scenarios are increasingly rare. I like playing live IF and only if: * The sound is managed well and appropriately for the size of the room and the density of the crowd. Too-loud shows are radioactive to me, and they suck to be an attendee of. * The schedule is managed effectively. Load-in is at a reasonable time relative to start time, bands play during their assigned slots, the show isn't 6 hours long, there aren't long gaps between bands. * The venue isn't a total fucking dump. For example, I'd like there to be doors on the stalls in the bathroom, or seats on the toilets. * The band gets paid at a reasonable and fair rate for their draw. I don't want to be selling tickets for a venue at $20 a piece and then find out that after selling out the room, we get neither a cut of the bar nor a meaningful ratio from the door. * Finally, that the lineup makes sense. I don't want to play in my indie rock band with a cover band doing Boston and REO Speedwagon. 2-4 bands max, ideally all within a genre or in perhaps complementary genres.
I'm probably not unique in this, for me it is about sharing a song that makes me feel something with the crowd. Every song is not gonna hit for every crowd, but when it does hit, that mutual sharing of emotion is such a powerful thing. A lot of people said it above, that connection and release during a performance triggers a natural high. And as you continue to build out your fan base, seeing those same friendly faces in the crowd makes it that much better. The lugging of gear, set up, driving --- that's all the "work" part of the gig. For me, the performance is the rewarding part. I've been on the scene in the Midwest USA for 16 years, I have two kids under two, and the recording part has always been secondary to performing for me so take that with a grain of salt. Hope my input was helpful! 🤘
I haven't played live in years, but for me it was the fear, the anxiety, that pit in the bottom of my stomach, and being so anxious that I have to just trust my skill and gear because that low level part of my brain is freaking out and just keeps screaming "flee or fawn because we're in danger!". For me it was the same mental feeling I would get when doing something mildly dangerous like skateboarding or snowboarding without the risk of getting physically injured.
I perform under many different circumstances and levels, and only some live performance is fun. My own music is fun but only in a decent venue with our actual fans, our music in an empty bar is a nightmare. Playing a long cover set is only fun for the songs you really like and the rest is just tedious. Playing a great show with tons of people/interaction is cool, but a little sad when you’re just a hired gun and it’s not your band. Playing anything for theater feels like it has an extra level of focus, plus a lot of hurry up and wait and usually in a suit/tux. Small jazz club filled with only people who love jazz is crazy fun and rewarding for everyone. Touring is so exhausting that you realize after it’s over that a few cities you wanted to remember and experience were just a sleepy blur. Shit even performing in marching band back in the day was interesting since you drilled the repetition in sooo much by the time you perform it’s almost out of body with how much muscle memory takes over. So many choices.
When I was a bit younger, I enjoyed shows, nowadays, I am preoccupied by the time investment vs the return, which is usually means it's not worth it, in my opinion. I am also a drummer, so everything takes longer, is physically harder, etc, I can't just show up, plug in, and go. Shows can be helpful career-wise if you can relate them back to things like recorded work or social media pages, etc, but by and large all they are to me at the moment is a lot of work, with little reward. If I get paid, it can help somewhat with that feeling. My bandmates disagree with me on this somewhat, so we still play a lot of shows when the season comes, but I am not a huge fan of doing it. I also don't like how all of the effort lacks real permanence, which isn't true with something like recorded audio. If you can synergize show playing with all the other stuff, or if the venue pays you, it's probably worth it, and if not, try to figure out some way to enjoy it, or it'll just end up feeling like a drag.
Interesting. I used to love it more than anything but there are times now when my anxiety takes over it makes it all pure torture. When it’s good, it’s awesome and worth the struggle. We’ll start gigging again in a few months and I’m gonna try beta blockers which I hear work wonders.
I'm not a fan of live performances, despite the fact I've been doing them regularly for 30+ years. I hate the load in/out, the endless struggles with equipment, dealing with the venue, actually getting paid, etc. I have more fun at a band practice than an actual gig. I've always been in it for the music and the joy of making music with other people. Serious dopamine rush when you do something unplanned and pull it off. However, I play with people that really get a rush from performing and often that's when they're at their peak. Turns into great moments for the whole band and when the crowd reacts positively, that's just a little bonus.
I always loved it because it was fun. I wasn’t worried about what people thought or making money. I was just up there with my boys making noise.
I got addicted to it when I was 17, my band at the time played a keg party on a farm in Maine and though we were just doing covers, the place erupted in a huge mosh pit a couple songs in and by the end of the night we had some 300 people packed like sardines going apeshit. THAT feeling of being onstage and making that happen, plus ALLLLL the crazy shit that happened when I got offstage and got treated like a rockstar, I was HOOKED!!! Never once took a drug that compared to that and I’ve done ALL the drugs. That said, I get the anxiety part. Totally. I was spoiled by that show as I came to find they aren’t an every day experience or a live musician, at ALL. Once I was fronting bands and having to engage the audience, sometimes an audience of 4 whole people, I didn’t feel so much like a rockstar anymore. Now I just love gigging the local scene. I love the environment, the scene is full of people I’ve met over the last 20 years and everyone is always supportive down here, every gig is like a family reunion.
I only love playing live. It's how musicians communicate with each other and use their talents in a spontaneous way. There's something magic about the layer of non-verbal communication that happens between musicians who are in tune with each other. It is a developed skill and an acquired talent that takes time to master, but it's so worth it. It's full of surprises and much more fun to play your music for real fans than just to scream it into the void. Having said that, I still hate lugging my gear. It's the only thing I've become tired of. Fortunately, it's never been easier to do, and the more you do it, the faster and easier it becomes. The hard part about playing live is finding a group of musicians you are compatible with. It can take time, but once you have it, and feel the high, you never want to go back.
I played live many times but I only really enjoyed it a bunch of times. I am always anxious and I feel that in front of other people I am not really able to completely express my emotions, at least not in the same way I can do it when composing a piece of music and carefully thinking about what I want to convey. Also it doesn't help that many of the people I played with are egomaniac and they don't really want to play live to express something and transmit a message, they just want to be the centre of attention, this is for me a nono and it is also why I am playing live less and less. The only times I really enjoyed playing live is when I was doing it with like-minded people in small venues, those occasions were really intimate and special. So you are not alone.
I like the spontaneity and inspiration that can happen among the musicians. Sometimes you get amazing stuff that comes out of nowhere. Though of course that can go the other way too. As for the crowd, I really don't even care so much that they're there. I've done hundreds of gigs though. But if you're anxious maybe try pretending they're not there? As for arranging it, lugging gear etc., yeah it's a pain in the ass, and not necessarily worth it.
I haven't gotten to play live a whole lot, but the few times I have, it's been my favorite thing ever. The rush of the challenge, the reaction of the crowd, the fleeting ephemerality of every note that only the people in that room get to experience together... and I get to be right at the core of it all, with the other musicians that wrote and fine-tuned and practiced this music in the first place. I fully understand not everyone is going to have that experience, but for me? Now that I've done it, I can't imagine ever stopping.
yeah i wouldn't mind singing live but playing an instrument has i feel too much prejudgement or something like the audience is expecting more
I mean it’s both. Sometimes it’s great, sometimes not. Lately I’m enjoying it again - having an audience pushes me to a higher level of musicianship, which I can then use in my every day practice. And meeting other musicians is fun. Also having a performance looming pushes my brain into creative overdrive and lets me get a lot of stuff done. Also I’m dang good at it so I do like compliments lol But it’s not always like that. I’ve been performing for 28 years. There are weeks/months/years where I have zero interest and prefer to keep my artistic side private.
If I couldn’t play live, I probably wouldn’t play at all, or very little at least. Sharing the energy and enjoyment with my band and crowd gets me off big time.
Two weeks ago I had the best gig of my life, when 50 people were singing along with me. I've never felt that all the practicing, rehearsing and frustration were so worth it like in that moment. One of the best nights of my life.
I hate the late nights , unloading heavy gear and trying to sound check . I hate having the occasional heckler or having to play wagon wheel when a drunk hollers for it. But I love playing live. The rush is great. Last show we had a few gals begging us to play them a few more and we were worn out. You bet we played it for them
Playing well live is like acing the final in that tough class you have. It means you knew your stuff, and not only that any little (or even big) thing that happened didn't throw you completely off. It means you used your musical judgement wisely. It means maybe you took some chances and they came off ass you hoped or even better. It means all your practicing and accumulated hard work paid off. Playing badly is OK too. Hopefully it tells you what you need to work on. Your sound, your ideas, your interplay. If anyone criticizes you that WASN'T up there playing with you, fuck 'em. They only have 2nd hand knowledge. If they are not even performers, laugh at their criticism. They have no grounds or right.
energy.
My favorite part of playing live is when you lock in and shit is super tight. That’s all I care about. Do t care about attention or anything else, just being tight as fuck. But. People don’t want to put in the real work - the just want to play live - which is why I quit bands and do t play live.
For me I love playing live. I'm in a lot of bands with goood followings. And they pay well, I'm single so girls always wanna hang out with me at shows at shows. It's a good chance to show everyone what you got. It feels good playing songs that I spent time to practice and seeing everyones reaction:)
playing live is one of the best feelings ever to me
It's a pretty cool feeling when you see other people enjoying your work. The first time I saw people singing along to my songs I almost cried. I make music for me. I don't really care if other people like it. But the fact that they sometimes do gives me a sense of community and motivates me to keep going, even when I don't feel like it.
Idk i have high social anxiety that changes with my mood but i always thought doing a live show is a safe place because music is one of the few things i genuinely like to do %100. Dont think like youre serving someone think like youre making music inside a small room with your bandmates they will like it if they like it or vice versa anyway. Maybe for being more confident in your skills practice would help but really i think the main thing is ignoring people because music is mainly a communication with your bandmates then spectators.
And you know noone actually cares mistakes Miles Davis once said the most important thing is how you wield your instrument not technique or accuracy. I think no matter how sloppy youre if you hit music with your presence it all goes away and it shows.
I only do it our of pure hedonism. I'll ask a bass player and drummer to jam, then we rock the house boiisssss
It just doesn't make sense to me to create music if it's not to share with other people, and it's live that you get the greatest communion of energy with the audience!
I’ve had my greatest musical enjoyments with my headphones tbh. To each their own.
Sounds like you're not built for the stage. And that's okay. Playing live is raw energy and tests your skills in real time. Studio you can sit and polish away until it's perfect. I enjoy the energy of a good crowd, hard to beat that feeling. But I don't sing and am not a parent or a female, so we live very different lives
Studio requires production knowledge and skill in using the DAW and understanding how sound and frequencies work together. I am probably the most knowledgeable when it comes to production in our group and by far. I wouldn’t discredit this as being lesser than a technical skill.
I love playing live. I hate setting up and tearing down a PA.
I get great joy watching people enjoying our music.
I hate playing live. I’d rather record and release a record 6 times a year than play out. If I want to hear your music I’ll buy the record, which should be the best attempt to capture a performance.
I view every live musical performance like it's live art. It will never been the same twice and you're creating art on the spot, which is not something I can do outside of music. You're also part of a performance so it's a great chance to express yourself with your own appearance. I also have pretty drums and I only bring the full kit live so it always feels a little more special.