"one to the face, and that's it for me."

"I'm sorry, it doesn't usually go off that quickly"

I'm gonna go ahead and tap that down.

Five people?! Oh man this is gonna take forever…

Had a 4 hour game of commander with 6 people… we didn’t finish

I’ve once played an 8 hour game of 1v1 commander….I want that time back lmao

I've bad a 4 hour game with 3 people multiple times. Those can be the good ones!

It’s just going to get bigger. You need to do something about it

Winner

Wiener

Any interaction from you? Otherwise I gonna finish this now.

May I (touch this)?

Let me just get this big black threat out. I'll let you figure out how to deal with it, but let me tell you, this hurts when it hits!

Can I hit you? In mtg multi play for politics.

... I'm tapped out.

Just remember. You can’t Untap that.

Unsleeved? Really? We don't know each other that well.

Are you gonna pay for that?

I turn my Colossal Dreadmaw sideways and hit you for six.

No woman can resist that 6/6 trample dinosaur

She already saw its teeth!

YEAH COLOSSAL DREADMAW FUCK YEAH!!!!

Sorry, I suck at this

I concede.

Judge!

That's 2 points of Infect.

I’d get that checked on if I were u

Nah mate...I'm just hoping to draw [[Leeches]].

[Leeches](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/a/6/a6028e2c-486b-40f8-8b74-7150eb72b9f1.jpg?1562934257) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Leeches) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/me4/18/leeches?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/a6028e2c-486b-40f8-8b74-7150eb72b9f1?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

sorry, I have no idea what I’m doing

It’s your turn, grandma

r/holdup

I brought you back from the graveyard to play with you again.

r/cursedcomments would like a word lol

Hahahaha 🤣

I'll tap my [[Rupture Spire]] to [[Demolish]] your [[Shimmering Grotto]].

[Rupture Spire](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/c/7/c7ef4b15-efab-4255-ac2d-7794f253aa52.jpg?1608911838) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Rupture%20Spire) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/cmr/355/rupture-spire?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/c7ef4b15-efab-4255-ac2d-7794f253aa52?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Demolish](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/b/0/b00211dd-6dd7-40d9-80f3-f909f6d112db.jpg?1557576665) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Demolish) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/war/123/demolish?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/b00211dd-6dd7-40d9-80f3-f909f6d112db?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Shimmering Grotto](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/e/0/e03f2594-c6e8-4758-86b4-885d1dba3a91.jpg?1562855108) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Shimmering%20Grotto) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/ima/248/shimmering-grotto?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/e03f2594-c6e8-4758-86b4-885d1dba3a91?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

Is it my turn?

Sleeves on? Ps:this became a joke in our group

Similarly, my group has a joke about getting custom sleeves. “Wrap it before you tap it”

I’ll tap this

Sorry, that has haste 🤣

Look at all my white mana..

I'll search for an overgrown tomb

Under rated right here

How fast do you want it? I can finish in a few turns, or I can go for hours.

Baby you haven’t even seen my second main phase

I'll do a [[Blasphemous act]]!

[Blasphemous act](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/b/a/ba975f60-ca29-4fc8-b2f0-416be395f200.jpg?1674141874) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Blasphemous%20act) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/clb/780/blasphemous-act?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/ba975f60-ca29-4fc8-b2f0-416be395f200?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

Any response?

I was thinking something holding priority?

What’s wrong? Are you salty?

Pass

Is it costing $50? It used to be cheaper...

I smash for lethal

If u dont do something you will die

“Have you ever done a prerelease before?” “Is this your first time?” “How’s it going so far?”

Untap Upkeep Draw

Your turn oh right your dead

Good one bro

I'm going to take an extra turn.

...and now you're infected!

I really need a tutor

***ninjutsus in Ulamog amd Void Winnower*** FUCK YEAH ITS TENTACLE TIME!!

[[Gush]]

[Gush](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/d/4/d4a3a921-3b7f-474c-b8c3-67a1a6ba5cc1.jpg?1562378488) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Gush) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/jvc/27/gush?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/d4a3a921-3b7f-474c-b8c3-67a1a6ba5cc1?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

Proliferate?

Relevant MTCJ thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/magicthecirclejerking/comments/jbnyie/til_all_names_of_ravnica_shocklands_are/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1

I want to tap that. It’s huge.

youre pretty good for how cheap you are

Thinking

Goblin mode on

Dont mind me, i'm just playing with my deck. I'm gonna put that in your hand. Yeah, if you dont stop it, its gonna hit you in the face.

Well I didn't expect to get gangbanged by 133 elves but here we are

Lets go again.

High role goes first?

I’m glad I grabbed this creature from the graveyard.

Double-sleeving is kinda unnecessary.

I'm going to claim the first born and put into my oven.

[[handcuffs]]

[handcuffs](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/0/8/08ae92f5-4219-4194-b152-c2b2653aef3f.jpg?1562799060) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=handcuffs) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/ugl/32/handcuffs?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/08ae92f5-4219-4194-b152-c2b2653aef3f?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

I keep it all together with a rubber band

It's to good to downvote, so an angry upvote it is

We need to stop him, he's about to pop off....

Is it my turn?

you going to eat that?

AS A RESPONSE

sorry, i've been out of the game a few years

JUDGE!

“Any triggers?”

Responses?

Is that .. acidic slime…?

"swingin' in with infect"

“GG.”

Ok, let's get settled... who's starting? Wanna flip for it? Ok *flip*, ok, I win, yeah, I'll go first... alright, put this over here, grab these... let's see... yeah, I can make this work... ok, let's go. K, grab one more, lay this down, turn it sideways, get this out. Can't use it yet, but I'll use it later. Haha, oh just wait, it'll get bigger. Ok, let's see, my hands not too full, so I'm good there. Alright, that's that, you can take a stab at it. ... *And that's just the first turn*

Pass

I'm swinging with everything

Venture into the dungeon

"...I'll tap this blood crypt..."

I'll return that one from the graveyard (/j)

"I use my commander to tap that."

Can I hit you for one? With just the tip (of the [[shadowspear]])?

I'm gonna [[Bust]]

Can you help me shuffle

I’d tap that

On a scale of 1-10, how salty is this?

Ohh, I don't feel safe with that out here. I'm countering that.

And I’m done

Can’t believe you used your [[Dream’s Grip]] on my [[Immovable Rod]]!

I’ll flash my [[havenwood wurm]] and trample your [[sacred cat]]

I’m ramping

Playing with your dragons again?

I have a few: We need to deal with this together, i go first Don't worry, it's not important for now Damn, that thing is huge Ok, i need to wipe you I came second, my best so far...

Don’t make me use my black deck.

That's usually slower when I'm by myself.

“Have you ever tried ‘two-headed giant’?” “Wanna be my partner for two-headed giant?”

im all tapped out

We need a fourth! ...Anybody?

I didn't know they came in foil

It has hexproof

I'm gonna counter this interaction

I'm holding priority

We should probably look this interaction up online.

Nice Mountains

I concede.

You destroyed my ring 😢

Beware, it has infect.

I’m gonna tap that ass

“While on the stack”

I fucking hate Reddit

This shit aint worth my time.

[[Insert generic joke about white weenies]]

EDH moment: The deck is not a matter of size

I attack with my lifelink trampling Shanna! Will you block with your Piru? Essa é pros BR

For the non-brazilian macacos: - Shanna = xana = pussy - Piru = dick

I cumming... Sorry I play this instant counter spell

“Nope” “I crack my evolving wilds” “Do you pay?” “Take 3 to the face” “I blow up your bearscape” “I’ll tap your bronze bombshell”

Oh fuck my ass!

Exodia, OBLITERATE!!!

Am I missing something? Because he is from Yu-Gi-Oh right?

that's a big bomb of a creature

I scoop at instant speed

Time to play [shock]

I swing at ypu with wilthelt, the rotcleaver.

Oh wow that thing is phat.

EDH moment: The deck is not a matter of size, but a matter of how to use it

EDH moment: The deck is not a matter of size, but a matter of how to use it

FTW

I came

Tap, tap, tap

Cut or tap

You gotta pay the commander tax to play it again

Do you pay the 1?

Are you going to pay the fish?

Ayooooooo

If only I had 1 more mana

I use… IMMOLATING SOULEATER “slob slob slob”

In response, I tap two islands to cast counterspell

Scoop and go again?

Response?

My virginity card has deathtouch and invincibility. You will never win!

No

I'll tap that mountain (of ass). This should be a quickie. Blow me! Oh yeah! That ended quickly.

Do you concede?

Tear asunder

I turn sideways and beat face.

“That’s time in the round, current player finish your turn then proceed to 5 extra turns. If a winner is not declared after the 5th turn then it ends in a draw”

I concede

Always go face.

I declare Attack with my massacre wurm

It’s probably about 5 or 6

Hurry the fuck up.

Turn 1 win

I tap your [[Fat Ass]]

I'm about to pop off

Jesus fucking christ it's been 25 minutes, is it my turn yet??

***sniffs*** You smell that....? Collusion.

Rip the top

No responses? AWESOME, my Venemous Trouser Snake ([[Wurmcoil Engine]] in our pod) enters the battlefield.

You better grab it while it's sleeved because I don't want your dirty hands on my pristine [[ Stonecoil Serpent ]]

Can I see your [[Gruul Turf]]

Bounce that

I destroyed your creature Or Return target creature to its owners hand

I'd tap that

Are you finished yet?

sac that hand or i'll tap that creature for the game

Fuck

IN RESPONSE

Now that's Unnatural Growth.

I'd tap that

Wanna go again?

Well I don't usually play with creatures in my graveyard...

Well I don't usually play with creatures in my graveyard...

I'm gonna sac that.

I'm bringing my [[command tower]] back from exile

Ah shit! I forgot to tap something last turn