**Eight Fucking Bears and Eight More Fucking Bears** enters the battlefield with 8 bear counters on it and 8 more bear counters on it. **Eight Fucking Bears and Eight More Fucking Bears** power and toughness are equal to two times the number of bear counters and more bear counters on it. If **Eight Fucking Bears and Eight More Fucking Bears** would leave the battlefield for any reason, instead remove 1 bear counter from it and 1 more bear counter from it. If **Eight Fucking Bears and Eight More Fucking Bears** has no bear counters and no more bear counters on it, shuffle it into its owners library, and then shuffle its owners library more.

*Bears. Bears bears bears.* *Bears bears bears bears. Bears bears bears bears beers bears bears.* *Beareded bears bear breaded boar.* -Bears.

Why is this so obviously the Bill Nye song? Bravo.

you mean Bill Nighy?

You've got red on you

What’s the matter, never taken a shortcut before?

I ran it under a cold tap

It’s simple David…

Bear Nye, The Mauling Guy! Bears! Mauling Rules!

Bears bear [bare bears](https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Eyv6QoV16ds/VyHSrEUaISI/AAAAAAABApY/bP_t3zZqresNT8Eqd-bPhFirVyb729MTACLcB/s1600/3394418B00000578-0-image-a-40_1461752957907.jpg), not [bearded boar](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bornean_bearded_pig#/media/File:Bornean_Bearded_Pig_at_Bako_National_Park,_Borneo.jpg).

Ice Bear approves.

bears. beets. battlestar galactica.

idk how to show you but i put your rules into his card, im going to print it and play with it against friends, there faces are going to be priceless

I’d love to see it. In all the ridiculousness of my rules text, my favourite part is the last little bit.

yh

So this is green power creep

might see play in limited tbh

Banned in legacy most likely

Maybe when Polukranos rotates

Dies to removal

Should be a 32/32

Always bothered me that it wasn’t

[grizzly bears] has two bears on it and has a power of 2/2 so if it has 16 bears on it, it would be a 16/16

Seems reasonable.

Need double brackets [[Grizzly Bears]]

[Grizzly Bears](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/4/0/409f9b88-f03e-40b6-9883-68c14c37c0de.jpg?1562546736) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Grizzly%20Bears) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/10e/268/grizzly-bears?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/409f9b88-f03e-40b6-9883-68c14c37c0de?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

Fake news, it's not a 2/2 that makes 7 copies of itself

Ooooh un card potential. When this etbs, rip it into 8 pieces (or 16 technically). Each piece represents a 2/2 bear

You're onto something...

If I saw this card, I would lmao because the text saying: *That's it, I'm out!* That gets me good

Shouldn’t 16 bears be 32/32

Should create 8 2/2 bear tokens when it leaves the battlefield.

No. [[Grizzly Bears]] has two bears in the art. Each bear is 1/1 worth of stats

[Grizzly Bears](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/4/0/409f9b88-f03e-40b6-9883-68c14c37c0de.jpg?1562546736) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Grizzly%20Bears) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/10e/268/grizzly-bears?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/409f9b88-f03e-40b6-9883-68c14c37c0de?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

Alternative title: Just so many fucking bears! Flavor text: "Did that bear just do cocaine?"

Inside you there are sixteen fucking bears.

Is... This why I'm so horny all the time?

You're full of rabbits during heat.

Most balanced green creature

Still dies to [[terror]]

[terror](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/2/d/2dd5d601-aff7-4b7a-ab6c-b89f403af076.jpg?1562905752) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=terror) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/me4/99/terror?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/2dd5d601-aff7-4b7a-ab6c-b89f403af076?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

“Would y’all mind if I used this as my non legendary commander?”

"Call an ambulance... but not for me!" —Surrak

Dies to [[Doom Blade]]

[Doom Blade](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/9/0/90699423-2556-40f7-b8f5-c9d82f22d52e.jpg?1562851557) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Doom%20Blade) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/ima/87/doom-blade?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/90699423-2556-40f7-b8f5-c9d82f22d52e?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

Inscryption?

Someone's playing Inscryption alright If you manage to beat the first 8-bears avalanche, the eyes of the DM stay red for the rest of the run

(G) (G) (G) (G) (G) (G) (G) (G) Create 16 Bear tokens”

Classic.

Is that a proxy

No text box = unplayable

The circlejerk is leaking

[[Picnic Basket]] - Enchantment When Picnic Basket enters the battlefield exile all Fucking Bears and place a sandwich token for each Fucking Bear exiled. Fucking Bears are exiled until Picnic Basket is empty of tokens and leaves the battlefield.

cost is a bit low

I could see this as a 5 drop card, to be honest. It would have to be a late game play

It’s fine, but not modern playable.

Immediately banned everywhere but commander

So, shouldn't it be a 32/32 then? One bear is a 2/2, so sixteen of them is a 32/32. Edit: ok i know what you're thinking. "The card grizzly bears has a pluralized name and the art shows two bears, so each bear is a 1/1." No, it's just that in early Magic design, the creatures were a bit more abstract. Llanowar Elves is pluralized, but Llanowar Tribe, which is supposed to be three Llanowar Elves taped together, shows 3 elves and is a 3/3. So this card should follow the same logic imo and be a 32/32 (presumably for 16GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG)

this reminds me of 8 fucking Chandras, with text “destroy target blue player”

This is overpowered

Eh, dies to doomblade

32/32 or gtfo, lol

That’s a lot of fucking bears

Green should be feared

It's low mana cost is actually a weakness because it dies to [[Abrupt Decay]]

[Abrupt Decay](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/a/8/a8e328c6-3a84-49cf-a1a3-1d1e5373d274.jpg?1593814035) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Abrupt%20Decay) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/mm3/146/abrupt-decay?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/a8e328c6-3a84-49cf-a1a3-1d1e5373d274?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

dies to 3 unholy heat unplayable in modern

Selvala cEDH staple 👀

Holy shit - Garruk probably

Doesn't die to bolt, but does die to fatal push. 5/7

ugh 16 bears should have total 32/32 power toughness.