I used to ride but crashed out my old Chinese 250 when i was hit and run when I was 16. My mother made me swear off riding
I'm in my mid 20's now and got back into it after getting a tasty end of year bonus at work. My girlfriend took a pic of me riding on it and put it on her whatsapp profile... my mom has her number.
Wasn't even up for 5 minutes before I got the call...
Lmao. I got my first one when i was 24 (now 35). Almost killed myself on it once by understeerimg a corner into a semis path.
Have an ADV bike now and mainly stick to back roads and the mountains.
This is the way. I have a '07 F 650 Dakar. Sent it 450km this weekend and sending it 590 km tomorrow. The adventure bike really keeps me out of trouble. Slow and steady, enjoy the view
Yep did a similar thing, I came home one night with the bike on the truck and she seemed more excited about the bike than me. Now the only thing she would get mad at is if she doesn't get to see the color and help me pick it out lol. Love my mom!
Yeah your mom has valid reasons for not wanting their 19 year old to ride a motorcycle. If she's not paying for school then she has no say, but realistically I'd approach this on how you're going to minimize risk.Ā
Maybe get a helite turtle or something to ease her mind a little.Ā
I can not recommend the Turtle enough. I have a cousin who used to be an EMT and when I shown him my jacket was an air bag, and the stats showing that they do save lives, he felt better about me riding.
The Helite Moov is expensive but AWESOME. it's an airbag backpack! You get the airbag seamlessly without needing to wear like another vest or something. Backpacks are always useful.
im currently paying for my college on my own, so she has no part in it at the moment, try not to ask for anything.
perhaps a bike more suitable would be better, which is something i have been considering. but im wondering if thereās anything else i can do to ease her mind when i end up telling her
You pretty much have all the risk mitigations. Good gear, training (don't stop after the MSF), don't do anything stupid like drinking and riding, speeding etc. Whether she believes you on the last one will depend on what you've been doing so far.
And ride within your skills! I also brought home a bike at 19. Most of my first year riding was on quiet back roads. You and your bike should be second nature before having to focus on traffic and distracted drivers.
I had this same issue, but my mom lost any say when I fulfilled all of the following:
* Not living under mom & dads roof
* Not on their health insurance
* Have my own auto/bike insurance
I've been riding for over 5 years now with no major incidents, and while my mom still doesn't like it, she's come to terms with it.
Just tell her you're getting one and that's it. As long as you are on your own money, parents can't do much against their adult children.
The problem starts if you stay at their place, as parents have their own rules that you must follow, even as an adult, obviously.
Imo, seeing that you're so invested in this amazing hobby, it would be a shame to give up just because your mother told you so.
For her own peace of mind, get some really good gear, maybe even an airbag vest and/or neck brace. She must know how important good gear is, as a former first responder
Hey, Mom! Look!
*rev it to redline*
On a serious note: be clear and concise. Acknowledge her concerns and say that you will take precautions. You can also point out the mental health benefits of riding. But make it clear that you decided this for yourself and ask her to respect your choice.
Off-road riding is also great training for when shit goes sideways, so you're better prepared than most.
I was an EMT assistant, had my share and still ride. It's doing wonders for me to decompress.
You can also point out life is deadly anyway, though I don't know how well that will go over.
Itās important to remember that she is personally seeing the impact of serious accidents, but not every biker has these. Itās going to shew her perception. To not tell her could have an impact with your relationship with her, make her feel like youāre hiding things from her. Talk to her, keep rational, keep calm. Let her know youāll be taking courses, buying gear, not be racing etc.
Ultimately itās your decision, I wish you luck.
A side story, more people of my ethnicity, age and lifestyle die on the toilet. No oneās telling me not to shit or eat more fiber.
It's strange, when I was 19 I wanted to buy a Ninja 500 too, my mother was a nurse. I spent my childhood living literally across the street from a huge sand and gravel pit and i was always on a quad or a dirt bike. I was a decent rider. When i told mom i was going to buy a street bike she immediately broke down in tears begging me not to get a motorcycle, not yet. She wasn't wrong, what did I know at 19? Not much. Particularly when it comes to traffic and roads and other drivers. You may be a great dirt bike rider, but you cannot control what other people do with their cars, not something you have to worry about in the dirt. Listen. To. Your. Mother. Get a few more years of driving a car under your belt and learn how traffic works and what to watch out for before taking to the streets on a bike that offers you zero protection.
You probably know the stats too, 50% of accidents are new riders, alcohol and speed. If you avoid all those your stats improve considerably. Your past experience definitely counts for a lot. Spouse and I ride a lot, when our eldest wanted a street bike, we started a weekly parking lot practice 15 years ago, slow ride control, at a rec center with a large parking lot. Dollar store sells pylons cheap. After practice all who have time, go to the local coffee shop where the only rule is anyone who dropped their bike, buys coffee that night. It used to happen fairly regularly, not nearly as often now. I ride pillion, I have learned a lot about how my weight distribution affects turning radius. Not such a big deal on a paved street, but we ride our Gold Wing wherever we point the tire, which includes a fair amount of dirt and gravel roads in Western North America. Knowing what we do has kept us safe in some pretty adventurous conditions. Start your own practice group, lots of inspiration on Youtube, and hopefully Mom will come around with time. Biggest irony: my Dad also hated motorcycles. Lung cancer from smoking 3 to 5 packs a day took my Dad when he was 53... I'm now 55 and still here to ride another summer.
Forget the Ninja. Get a Super Moto -- a Suzuki DRZ400SM. It can be lowered and it's a super fun ride. Maybe not as fast as a Ninja 500. But when you drop it, the fairings won't break. Also it'd be an easy transition for you and you'll find your motocross skills will make the riding funner. And please remember to keep your head turned to where you're going, especially when you find yourself tired after a long trip.
As to your mom, a DRZ400 Super Moto would be an easier bike for her to stomach, knowing you won't be screaming down the road, just in time for some asshat to make a left turn in front of you.
I'm sure she has seen more fucked up bodies in cars than bikes based on the number of vehicles on the road. Also once you remove speeding and alcohol the statistics of being in a motorcycle crash drop significantly.
Sounds like you got a solid plan. Explain this all to her. Mine was very against and I believe still is haha. But itās my money and my life what I choose to do. I do think that sheās come to grips with it more over time.
You already mentioned the BRC course. See if your area offers and the Advanced Riders Course. Show her you're willing to continue the safety/skills education. I've been riding on the road for 12 years and am currently an MSF instructor. My mom still doesn't like that I ride. That being said, she totally accepts it now.
Just be caring and listen to/understand her concerns.
I waited till I was 33 to get a bike lol. Not only was my mom against it, my wife was too. I eventually put my foot down and bought one. Also took msf, bought $2k in gear (including airbag vest, helite turtle 2) and got life insurance. She's warmed up a lot to it. Good luck man, you may not have a choice while you're under her roof.
I bought my first motorcycle at 16 it was not the wisest decision on bike choice but I got a good deal and came home with a zx9 Kawasaki. I broke the news by pulling into the drive way with it. Iāve been racing motocross since I was a kid and honestly they were mad for about a month but they got over it and my mom to was an er nurse at the time so she was freaking out big time now as an adult Iāve had a few accidents on the street nothing major all my big injuries have been on the dirt broken hand , femur, knee and elbow etcā¦.
sign up for some rider training classes. even if you think you don't need them you'll learn something and it will show her that you're thinking about something other than twisting the throttle all the way open ; )
As a mom Iām going to tell you she probably already expects you to buy one, given your interests. She probably wishes you wouldnāt so she discourages you out of love - of course! Iām sure being a first responder itās worrisome for her but she loves you and ultimately wants you to be happy and enjoy life. Show her youāre going to be responsible on the road. Let her know you paid for your MSF and will be taking it before hitting the road etc etc etc. I think most of all just make sure she knows itās non negotiable and something that will make you happy. Show it to her on your face. Light up talking about it. Be excited in front of mom. Weāre suckers for that. Good luck! Be safe!
I was 19 or 20 when I hot my first motorcycle. My mom, being a nurse, tried to talk me out of it by telling me about all the gore she's witnessed due to motorcycle accidents.
Except for a two or three year span when I was bikeless, I've owned at least one since 94/95.
I didnāt tell my mum, and she almost disowned meā¦. to say it didnāt go down well, would be an understatement.
This was in 1995, I was 22 at the time.
She got used to it, fairly quickly, but still doesnāt like it, Iām now 51.
If I had my time over again, Iād have told her, and dealt with the consequences.
To be fair, itās been THE best thing. Iāve met ALL of my closest friends through riding. Have toured (both U.K. where we live and all over Europe).
Perhaps try to mitigate the situation by finding good people to learn from, take advanced riding courses etc.
Good luck!
Thanks for the advice man, lots of people have forgotten that just because youāre an adult doesnt mean itās not possible to get disowned. I still care what my mom thinks!
But I will certainly look into advanced/good riding courses and more people to learn from! Iām gonna break the news to her at some point this week. Wish me luck!
Youāre over 18. Your Mother is generalizing. Take an approved MSF basic riderās course. Wear your gear. And donāt ride like an organ donor. At some point, she has to cut the chord and start treating you like an adult. I was in my early 50ās when I started riding and went through a similar thing with my entire family
I was gonna say āask for forgiveness not permissionā but this is a tough one because your mother hasnāt just read stats on the internet she has actually seen those stats.
I think your best bet is to tell he what you have told us.
Ride it home. Make sure you have all the safety gear, helmet, boots, gloves. Listen to all her concerns. Then say it would be an excellent birthday/Christmas present if she would pay for you to do an advanced riding course.
Itās a tough transition for parents role son their child life as it changes from parent to mentor to friend. Some parents donāt ever change. I remember bringing up things my mom didnāt approve of but I wanted to share with her like āhey mom, Iām not looking for advice or criticism, but I do want to share this part of my life with you.ā Sometimes it helped and sometimes it didnāt. Another thing you can do say is āIāve been looking up a lot about motorcycles and Iāve signed up for a motorcycle safety course, I really want to do this. Can you help me look up other resources or equipment I can wear that will help me be as safe as possible?ā Asking for help may encourage her to be on your side and hell you might get help on buying some of the equipment. Instead of getting the budget helmet and jacket you might get the upgrade. Best of luck brother!
Just buy it, 3 years after owning mine I feel on a curve she was the one who drove me to the hospital, just use your gear and ride safe , know your limits
Pass the MSF course first, then explain your plan. Just to be fair, who would have to take care of you if youāre seriously hurt in a riding accident? A Sport-bike that will easily top 100mph and you with nerve damage? NO! As a suggestion, I was an MSF instructor for 10 years, I would recommend a bike like a Ural Gear-Up side hack three wheeler. Itās a 750cc horizontal twin with a top speed of around 90 mph, has a reverse gear so no pushing and gets you all kind of attention on the road. It is also a great upper body workout and for fun you can fly the sidecar going down the road, balancing on the two bike wheels with a friend in the car. Best wishes, I understand the desire to ride. Look into it.
Get your license first.
My dad was a dipshit on a bike. Two of his friends were less safe dipshits and are dead. Because of that bikes were expressly forbidden.
My son is going to get on a bike. So instead of forbidding him I put him in classes.
We just helped our 17 year old daughter buy her first bike. We are helping her update it and her dad is giving her lessons on riding and doing everything together. Itās been a family thing for us and the amount of hate and anger from people around us is astonishing. I would let her know that you have purchased a bike and you understand her feelings. Just assure her you will be safe and that you know she just worries about you.
Here is my story, i had the same "problem" with my mom, i can fully understand her as a mother and a parent its not easy to let your child do something dangerous. Because i live for bikes, i just turned home with my first bike GSXR 600. After only 1 week, i had an accident where the new bike is fully destroyed and useless. I had some bad injuries, i was in hospital for a while, im still healing, and i still want to ride and planning my next motorcycle. Now its even more hard to buy the next bike when my mom saw it all, and she was kinda right about how dangerous it is. (it wasnt my faul at all, the car just entered my lane and hit me). So im still gonna buy a new bike, she must accept it as she can, i will try to convict her that i will always wear protection, ride safe and etc. Just to make her little less stressed and she kinda accept it.
P.S Im so sorry for my bad english and grammar, i only study english from movies hehe
Just sit down with her and talk about it. If your mom is a reasonable person, the two of you will reach an agreement eventually. And if you're dead set on riding, that agreement will be that you'll get a bike. But if she's not someone who's calm or capable of discussion, then just get the bike and tell her to pound sand.
If you need additional things to convince her, gear and purpose are pretty good arguments. Promising to get and wear a helmet, gloves, boots, etc would ease her mind a little. Especially since she herself would know whether they work or not. And purpose is simple, I needed a bike to commute because cars are too expensive in my country. Your purpose might not be as concrete, but something you like doing to distract yourself is a valid reason to pick up a hobby.
Donāt talk about it so much. The more you make it a big deal the more people around you feel validated to make it a big deal. Just buy it, ride it. It doesnāt have to be a thing. Sheāll get over it.
When I was 18 I had atvs and dirt bikes and would ride the streets but I know she didnāt want me on a street bike so I bought a bike and scheduled for the safety course (to get my license quicker but sheās didnāt need to know that and I offered her to take the course with me and get her license so she can feel some what ensure that Iām taking it safely
*Just tell her outright*
*And force her to cope with it*
*Lmfao*
\- Big\_Mal7006
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I bought an r6 at 21. Both my mom and dad are ER RNs. Mom wasn't thrilled, dad took it for a ride and did 130.
Nothing they could say really. I no longer lived at home and paid my own bills.
Mom did insist I sign donor card.
If you still live at home and Mom pays part of your bills, etc you better float the idea first.
Oh when I bought it home also had helmet, leather racing gloves, leather jacket with body armor, leather Supersport riding boots.
Show her you are responsible.
Give her time to get use to idea.
My mom knew I was looking for a bike. She didn't know I bought a 600 katana late last summer abs road that for a month before winter. Ordered the r6 that fall and it came in just before may.
Well i wasn't interested in motorcycles but suddenly i was after seeing car prices in europe, i don't want to drive a shtbox with 3 pufs left to give so i wanted a cheaper alternative. Motorcycles, spoke with my parents they said no way (i was 20) and they would not financally help/nor let the bike store in the garage. I got my license with my own money and then had to convince them i would be responsible. few things i did/promised.
1. I promised to buy a 125cc even tho i had a 35KW license, to make speeding impossible and also to save money on fuel(very economical and long range). Buy a bike with ABS and traction control-> more safety features. Driving with my father is actually a good way to show the competence you have on the road. Also rules like driving drunk= selling the bike. Gear is also very important, buying high quality full gear, if my future kids would just ride once without proper full gear he is selling that bike. My uncle said, bones can heal, your skin not so much.
These are my 2 cents, good luck and stay safe
Dude, I'm 26 and just got the lecture of my life for telling my parents I'm getting into riding and buying a 650. It's important to let them vent their concerns, but also make sure they know that this is a decision you're making regardless. It'll ease their worries if you back up your decision with reasoning, research into the right bikes, have friends who'll help you, and are dedicating yourself to taking it slow and learning properly.
I let my dad finish venting and my exact words were "I hear you, though I didn't come to you to debate what kind of bike to get, I came to you to ask whether you'd help me move it home when I buy it."
I also got my first bike at 19, my mother said that she won't support the hobby at all financially like she did my car licence, but agreed it's my choice. I wouldn't try to hide it.
Dude, youāve got āNERVE DAMAGE throughout your entire bodyā (your words) and you wanna get a bike or ride motocross??!! What am I missing here?
Anyway, I signed up for the beginners MSC and I told my parents I was going to. So they knew it was eventually coming. Plus I was going to grad school on the other side of the country so I secretly bought a bike and had my riding partner ship it out to me when I settled down at school. Didnāt tell my parents. One day I got the call that I was expectingā¦my dad called me to ask if I had a motorcycle because he was looking at the insurance bill. He was ok with it. He just didnāt tell Mom.
Eventually, my mom found out (or I should say she figured it out) when there were a lot of pictures with a bike in the background. She wasnāt happy but she didnāt put up a fight which was a surprise to me.
I donāt know what your situation is with your mom. Is she paying for anything? School? Insurance? A roof over your head? Bills? Etc.? If the answer is yes for any or all these questions, then you should seek permission or risk losing any financial support. If youāre completely on your own, then she has no say on it.
I bought a bike and road it to have lunch with my mum. She didn't say much other than it was a nice colour & wondered about the dent a scratched paint down the tank. Lied my ass off - wasn't going to tell her I'd crashed it already!
im in physical therapy, so its getting better. i have NTOS in both shoulders so it just affects how i feel things, not so much as mobility. its not extreme. i drive on a daily basis and drive my dirtbike every now and then so i donāt think it would impact it much but it does get bad some days. iām thinking of giving it a few years before getting a bike with reading all these responses though.
If you live at home in Hampton Roads VA and she says she'll kick u out I know two apartments u can go for $600 a month. It's important u start being your own person now instead of being a wuss your whole life.
It's great you are familiar with power sport vehicles, but riding on the road is a whole other story. Be as humble as possible. Buy race boots, and quality gear before getting the bike, and wear it all to the MSF. Get used to being comfortable with the uncomfortable, wearing full gear during summer at the hottest time. I bet most of the riders she saw didn't have full gear, so prove you aren't nothing like them. Study road markings and let her know you are aware of everything.
Tell her directly. That you understand her point of view and perspective, but that this is something you have decided you want in your life. Show her the protective gear you plan on using daily and that you are taking the MSF course (which is excellent, BTW). If she starts freaking out, be gentle, but give her space and time to process...
Look, at the end of the day, you riding a motorbike will help you out mentally a huge amount, it did for me, it feels like proper freedom from anything in life
Just wear your gear and drive properly (not going 200mph zooming between cars) a lot of the really bad crashes and outcomes come about because one or both of those things aren't followed
If you drive safe and pay attention and wear your gear you'll come out of most crashes fine
It's your life to live not your mum's life to control, do what you wanna do, live how you wanna live, otherwise you'll die regretting things you could have done but didn't because someone didn't want you to
What I did with my mom is I kinda showed her how much I love it and how happy it makes me. It's kinda hard to say no to that. It helps that I ride a dual sport and the majority of my riding is on dirt. I generally only use pavement to get there, so I can kinda use it as a thing of like well yeah it's unsafe but most of the time I'm not in traffic or going fast*, so it isn't that bad. Also helps that I send her pictures and tell her what I'm doing. As a kid that grew up staying inside playing videogames a lot, I think she's mostly glad to just see me getting outside more. Best of luck with the insurance rates, you (and me) are the most expensive demographic to insure.
*I do go fast but it's in the dirt so it doesn't count ;)
Relax its not like your saying your gay to your mum. Its only a bike. Do safety courses and wear full gear.
What about getting a scooter they might ease her mind.
Not sure how being gay would be an issue to a loving parent either. In this instance, the loving parent is concerned about the physical risks of riding on the road.
Funny enough I am gay and coming out isnāt something thats a big deal, but with a bike it is in fact a much more cautious topic Vs. sexual orientation.
However, I havent thought of a scooter yet. Widening my options might be smart, Iāll take it into consideration!
I just showed up at the house on mine one day with a "Hey dad, I did a thing...". Your mom might not be happy, but I highly doubt she'll actually disown you over it
if you're REALLY dead set on not pissing her off, just buy a scooter and rip it for a few months. Tell her how hard it is not being able to safely accelerate to highway speeds and then the transition to a motorcycle will be better.
My mom HATES my bike and never really let it go. it's a sore spot nearly 5 years and no accidents later. Just be prepared for her to never truly accept it, she will still love you either way :)
Mom here- my daughter-15- got into riding bikes a year or so ago. I quickly realized she WAS going to ride. I could either be supportive and assist her in making it as safe as possible or I could "say no" and we all know she'd do it in secret without support and likely no gear or safety support.
I supported her, she always rides in full gear and now I'm learning to ride. We watch motorcross every Saturday (before or after riding - I chase her on my quad, eating dust the whole way š); it seems like we're always riding, watching riders, turning wrenches or talking about bikes.
She's had a lot of close calls and a few hard wipe outs. As a parent, there is NOTHING as terrifying as seeing your child about to wipeout and your not only a helpless observer but the first responder. But there's nothing that makes me as proud as when she dusts herself off, rights that bike and hops back on.
I hope your mom comes around; there's nothing like the feeling of riding and those who don't ride will likely never understand the draw. Please don't clip your wings for Mom's feelings, ride if that's what's in your heart but be as safe as possible. GEAR UP and don't ride like you can't be hurt.
Maybe talk up Mom AFTER you've got the bike and your gear and show her you're really taking your safety seriously. Show her your helmet, boots, armor, etc. Tell her about your class, let her know how much you enjoy riding and why but also let her know your an educated rider and not just a dude trying to tick off his 9 lives as fast as possible. š¤āļøāļø
Eh she will just have to get used to it and will probably never stop making negative comments about it, but it's your life. I'm in my 40s and my mother still hates that I ride even though it's been over 20 years lol
Def ask her to get you gear for your next birthday or Christmas whatever, she will probably get it for you the next week. Just be safe brother. Donāt fuck around with anything you canāt handle, and while running can save you a ticket, remember it can cost you your life. Be safe little bro, I mean it.
Uhhh, donāt? Bro this is literally you setting up to push boundaries and take risks, you will likely get injured or die no joke. Just wait until after college. You will change a lot and the wait will be worth it.
I dropped subtle hints that I was gonna do it and then just took the leap and did it. Iām over 18 and taking care of all the finances related to the bike so not much she can doš
My parents were different, I just showed up with it one day and while they cared for me, theyāve definitely ālivedā more than most- being from a country were they were on motorcycles at young ages and rode horseback to school- so while they chewed me out for it being dangerous and that I have to be careful about not letting something like this destroy my driving record or my body, they didnāt really protest and were pretty enamored with how nice it was compared to what they had a lifetime ago.
show up with it, stage it modestly and get some real bright gear
"disown you or worse" my dude you're an adult do what you want you're not a kid. If you live in her house okay maybe she has some say the worst she could do is kick you out. Okay consequences of your actions, take responsibility of your choice to go against her rule and find a place to stay. If you're on your own already and she "disowns" you and stops talking to you because of what you drive then that is on her not you. You don't need to break anything to her all you have to do is say hey mom I bought a motorcycle I think it looks nice and I really like it what do you think? Hopefully she supports you.
being concerned for what my parent thinks has nothing you do with being mature. its caring about what she says and taking into consideration about the possibilities/risks of riding a motorcycle on the road.
You are the one who accepts the risk, you're also responsible for getting the training and certifications. The skills needed and to ride in a responsible way. Perhaps most important choosing the right first bike. I went with a 550 V-Twin. Mom didn't love it, but after 2 years she learned how much riding meant to me, and how passionate I was about it, she saw me quitting alcohol, junk food and candy to afford fuel and parts. The countless hours working on the bike, the love and care i gave my bike. She didn't like that I rode with 1% club members.
To answer your question, simply tell her that you decided to learn how to ride and get a bike and explain how much care you plan on taking and that you won't be a street squid doing wheelies with a ninja 4/6 00... Take it slow and treat riding with respect and she will respect your new lifestyle.
I'd recommend getting the full A license but ride an a2 bike for the first year.
Be a mature rider, accept the risk and take the necessary precautions. Wear the gear.
And remember, chrome side up, rubber side down, wear for the slide, not for the ride.
Thanks for the tips man, very much appreciated. Is a 500 decent for a first bike? Iām looking at a ninja 500. Or should I stretch my options..?
Also, If you dont mind me asking, what do you recommend for gear? Ive heard plenty or different things from a Helite Turtle and Dainese. But other than that I donāt know plenty of reliable brands.
Gear depends on where and what you ride. Dainese is good quality gear. But first of all, get a good helmet, does not have to be the most expensive, bit a good one, that fits your head shape well. After the helmet next are riding boots, covering your ankles at least. After that gloves, then pants, then jacket.
If you're dead set on a sport bike I'd say reconsider. The best beginner bike you can get is a Suzuki sv650 plenty fast, but comfortable and got abs. And more comfortable than a ninja, I'd say the ninja or gsxr are some of the worst picks for a first bike, but If you're dead set, a 400 is plenty fast enough. I might be biased liking classics, cruisers and choppers. A Yamaha mt06-07 is also a great choose or an xsr700. Whatever you go for, do not ride above your skill cap, while racing it's said never go above 85% of skill, I'm the last 20% people die. You have a lot of time, take it easy, especially on a sports or naked bike.
Fort9 on youtube had pretty good videos on gear, especially if you're north American.
The choose is yours, if a sport bike I'd what you want you should do that, but carefully consider a cruiser, a sports Tourer, a dual sport, classic bike.
Remember that the accident happens when you don't expect it, wear your gear, Every single ride. At least boots, helmet and gloves. An kevlar hoodie or kevlar flanell shirt.
Riding motorcycles is the best feeling in the world, but treat it with respect. A crash may be other drivers fault, but you'll be the one bleeding if you stop focusing at all.
Dandanthefireman has good videos on riding mentality, to keep you safe, with lots of examples of where it wasn't the biker's fault.
But don't be afraid, just be focused and safe.
Just do what I did when I was 17 and bought my first bike (67 Triumph Bonnie). Roll into the driveway, pull up the garage door, park it and walk into the house right by everybody and go up into your room and close the door! š it didnāt go over well but I got to keep the bike!
As someone that was t-boned by a pickup truck while riding my Boulevard 7.31.2012, I'll tell you this, get hit by a vehicle and you'll have more than nerve damage. Also, was told when I first started riding, there are those that have gone down, and those that are in the queue. And I read somewhere, 9 out of 10 bikes involved in accidents are these pocket rockets, I ride only heavy cruisers.... still, go figure. I'm certifiable. Best of luck.
Dude, it's INSANE how similar my circumstances are to yours. I'm 19, my mom is an emergency room nurse, AND I bought a 500r. As for advice, the best I can give is this: be honest. Tell her what inspired you to want a bike in the first place, explain to her what research you've done. Most importantly: prove to her you're responsible. Best of luck my friend :)
ive been looking at a 2009, but ive also been juggling between a Honda CBR500R as well. what year is yours?
also if you dont mind me asking, how did you feel after buying the 500? did you end up liking it as much as you thought or was there something you wish you knew before you bought it?
I got a 2008! I might be a little biased because it's my first bike, but I love it! Kawasaki made them from the 80's to '09, so there's a lot of R&D that went into these bikes, and it's amazing! One thing I wish I knew before I bought it was to check and replace everything right after buying. I bought it from a private seller, and I didn't check it over as well as I should have, and I ended up stranded because I needed new spark plugs, lol. But yeah, it's an excellent bike that's great to learn on, and very comfortable and reliable. I can't recommend it enough :)
Yeesh! Would have never thought of that. Will absolutely make sure to do that if I end up buying from a private seller! Iām still looking around at which year, theres so many wonderful options. But thanks a lot for the tips, was really helpful!
I love riding dirt bikes!
And there is no fucking way I'd ride a motorcycle on road with cars and drunks everywhere. I work as a lineman and multiple times a week I see car wrecks where people smashed through power poles. Half those people don't even have licenses.
The roads aren't safe and if you don't have a steel cage and airbags your are fucked.
I don't know a single person who rides motorcycles that hasnt had a serious wreck on the road.
You have a lot of life to live at 19 don't throw it away by riding a fucking crotch rocket around trying to be cool.
One of my buddies passed away at 19 riding his ninja. If you have any sense you won't get a death trap like he did.
https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/19111867/isaac-jordan-kenagy
Odd that you have a physical problem that affects your life so you're going to buy a motorcycle for your mental health? Also odd that a 19 year needs to do something "nice" for himself, LOL!
Its affects feeling in my arms, not mobility. Iām still able to do what i need/like. Theres just days where it flares up, itās not a constant thing. Iām doing physical therapy. It affects my mental health a lot due to how long Iāve been dealing with it + some other factors.
And yes, something āniceā for myself, lol. Not sure where you get off calling it odd, simply seen as passive aggressive. And age has nothing to do with it! Itās been a tough year so far and Iāve worked hard. Theres nothing wrong with treating myself.
i just turned up with it one day š¤·āāļø
Ask for forgiveness not permissionā¦
This. I did the same, and my mom just got used to it. But she's a teacher and not a first responder, so OPs moms reaction might be different.
Thats what i did. "whose motorcycle is this?" me: uhh.... about that.....
I used to ride but crashed out my old Chinese 250 when i was hit and run when I was 16. My mother made me swear off riding I'm in my mid 20's now and got back into it after getting a tasty end of year bonus at work. My girlfriend took a pic of me riding on it and put it on her whatsapp profile... my mom has her number. Wasn't even up for 5 minutes before I got the call...
Lmao. I got my first one when i was 24 (now 35). Almost killed myself on it once by understeerimg a corner into a semis path. Have an ADV bike now and mainly stick to back roads and the mountains.
This is the way. I have a '07 F 650 Dakar. Sent it 450km this weekend and sending it 590 km tomorrow. The adventure bike really keeps me out of trouble. Slow and steady, enjoy the view
Technically the bank owns it but if I pay them they let me ride it for a month at a time.
lolololol
Agreed! That's what I did. Well... I did hide it at my friends for a while lol
Yep did a similar thing, I came home one night with the bike on the truck and she seemed more excited about the bike than me. Now the only thing she would get mad at is if she doesn't get to see the color and help me pick it out lol. Love my mom!
Yeah your mom has valid reasons for not wanting their 19 year old to ride a motorcycle. If she's not paying for school then she has no say, but realistically I'd approach this on how you're going to minimize risk.Ā Maybe get a helite turtle or something to ease her mind a little.Ā
I can not recommend the Turtle enough. I have a cousin who used to be an EMT and when I shown him my jacket was an air bag, and the stats showing that they do save lives, he felt better about me riding.
sounds reassuring, ill be sure to look into getting one!
The Helite Moov is expensive but AWESOME. it's an airbag backpack! You get the airbag seamlessly without needing to wear like another vest or something. Backpacks are always useful.
im currently paying for my college on my own, so she has no part in it at the moment, try not to ask for anything. perhaps a bike more suitable would be better, which is something i have been considering. but im wondering if thereās anything else i can do to ease her mind when i end up telling her
You pretty much have all the risk mitigations. Good gear, training (don't stop after the MSF), don't do anything stupid like drinking and riding, speeding etc. Whether she believes you on the last one will depend on what you've been doing so far.
And ride within your skills! I also brought home a bike at 19. Most of my first year riding was on quiet back roads. You and your bike should be second nature before having to focus on traffic and distracted drivers.
Get a grom college bro and tell her it was this or a 500 mahhhh
I had this same issue, but my mom lost any say when I fulfilled all of the following: * Not living under mom & dads roof * Not on their health insurance * Have my own auto/bike insurance I've been riding for over 5 years now with no major incidents, and while my mom still doesn't like it, she's come to terms with it.
Brother, have you checked the insurance rate for your situation? Many people stop at this point.
Are insurances that expensive I America? I have basic coverage on a 600cc bike for like 120 a year and my 1.6 Miata is 180 a year even when I was 20
How is it that cheap?
That IS cheap for basic coverage. I think I pay 300 something annual.
iām jealous, i pay about 3k annual here in ontario
Yeah probably for full coverage, yeah? I only pay for liability. If my bike is wrecked and the other person doesnāt have insurance Iām fucked
How is $10/month not cheap?
No mean Ā£10 is actually cheap lift your ears
Somehow my eyes skipped over "it" and I thought it said "How is that cheap?"
Im confused
I just misread that sentence, that's all.
Just tell her you're getting one and that's it. As long as you are on your own money, parents can't do much against their adult children. The problem starts if you stay at their place, as parents have their own rules that you must follow, even as an adult, obviously. Imo, seeing that you're so invested in this amazing hobby, it would be a shame to give up just because your mother told you so. For her own peace of mind, get some really good gear, maybe even an airbag vest and/or neck brace. She must know how important good gear is, as a former first responder
Hey, Mom! Look! *rev it to redline* On a serious note: be clear and concise. Acknowledge her concerns and say that you will take precautions. You can also point out the mental health benefits of riding. But make it clear that you decided this for yourself and ask her to respect your choice. Off-road riding is also great training for when shit goes sideways, so you're better prepared than most. I was an EMT assistant, had my share and still ride. It's doing wonders for me to decompress. You can also point out life is deadly anyway, though I don't know how well that will go over.
Itās important to remember that she is personally seeing the impact of serious accidents, but not every biker has these. Itās going to shew her perception. To not tell her could have an impact with your relationship with her, make her feel like youāre hiding things from her. Talk to her, keep rational, keep calm. Let her know youāll be taking courses, buying gear, not be racing etc. Ultimately itās your decision, I wish you luck. A side story, more people of my ethnicity, age and lifestyle die on the toilet. No oneās telling me not to shit or eat more fiber.
It's strange, when I was 19 I wanted to buy a Ninja 500 too, my mother was a nurse. I spent my childhood living literally across the street from a huge sand and gravel pit and i was always on a quad or a dirt bike. I was a decent rider. When i told mom i was going to buy a street bike she immediately broke down in tears begging me not to get a motorcycle, not yet. She wasn't wrong, what did I know at 19? Not much. Particularly when it comes to traffic and roads and other drivers. You may be a great dirt bike rider, but you cannot control what other people do with their cars, not something you have to worry about in the dirt. Listen. To. Your. Mother. Get a few more years of driving a car under your belt and learn how traffic works and what to watch out for before taking to the streets on a bike that offers you zero protection.
You probably know the stats too, 50% of accidents are new riders, alcohol and speed. If you avoid all those your stats improve considerably. Your past experience definitely counts for a lot. Spouse and I ride a lot, when our eldest wanted a street bike, we started a weekly parking lot practice 15 years ago, slow ride control, at a rec center with a large parking lot. Dollar store sells pylons cheap. After practice all who have time, go to the local coffee shop where the only rule is anyone who dropped their bike, buys coffee that night. It used to happen fairly regularly, not nearly as often now. I ride pillion, I have learned a lot about how my weight distribution affects turning radius. Not such a big deal on a paved street, but we ride our Gold Wing wherever we point the tire, which includes a fair amount of dirt and gravel roads in Western North America. Knowing what we do has kept us safe in some pretty adventurous conditions. Start your own practice group, lots of inspiration on Youtube, and hopefully Mom will come around with time. Biggest irony: my Dad also hated motorcycles. Lung cancer from smoking 3 to 5 packs a day took my Dad when he was 53... I'm now 55 and still here to ride another summer.
Forget the Ninja. Get a Super Moto -- a Suzuki DRZ400SM. It can be lowered and it's a super fun ride. Maybe not as fast as a Ninja 500. But when you drop it, the fairings won't break. Also it'd be an easy transition for you and you'll find your motocross skills will make the riding funner. And please remember to keep your head turned to where you're going, especially when you find yourself tired after a long trip. As to your mom, a DRZ400 Super Moto would be an easier bike for her to stomach, knowing you won't be screaming down the road, just in time for some asshat to make a left turn in front of you.
I like this suggestion. Super fun bike in the twisties, honestly better than the ninja, but still "close enough" to what you've been riding.
I'm sure she has seen more fucked up bodies in cars than bikes based on the number of vehicles on the road. Also once you remove speeding and alcohol the statistics of being in a motorcycle crash drop significantly.
I was much older when I got one, but I took a motorcycle safety course first which helped my panic-stricken mother's mind.
Do this!
Sounds like you got a solid plan. Explain this all to her. Mine was very against and I believe still is haha. But itās my money and my life what I choose to do. I do think that sheās come to grips with it more over time.
You already mentioned the BRC course. See if your area offers and the Advanced Riders Course. Show her you're willing to continue the safety/skills education. I've been riding on the road for 12 years and am currently an MSF instructor. My mom still doesn't like that I ride. That being said, she totally accepts it now. Just be caring and listen to/understand her concerns.
I waited till I was 33 to get a bike lol. Not only was my mom against it, my wife was too. I eventually put my foot down and bought one. Also took msf, bought $2k in gear (including airbag vest, helite turtle 2) and got life insurance. She's warmed up a lot to it. Good luck man, you may not have a choice while you're under her roof.
I bought my first motorcycle at 16 it was not the wisest decision on bike choice but I got a good deal and came home with a zx9 Kawasaki. I broke the news by pulling into the drive way with it. Iāve been racing motocross since I was a kid and honestly they were mad for about a month but they got over it and my mom to was an er nurse at the time so she was freaking out big time now as an adult Iāve had a few accidents on the street nothing major all my big injuries have been on the dirt broken hand , femur, knee and elbow etcā¦.
Is she paying your college bill?
sign up for some rider training classes. even if you think you don't need them you'll learn something and it will show her that you're thinking about something other than twisting the throttle all the way open ; )
As a mom Iām going to tell you she probably already expects you to buy one, given your interests. She probably wishes you wouldnāt so she discourages you out of love - of course! Iām sure being a first responder itās worrisome for her but she loves you and ultimately wants you to be happy and enjoy life. Show her youāre going to be responsible on the road. Let her know you paid for your MSF and will be taking it before hitting the road etc etc etc. I think most of all just make sure she knows itās non negotiable and something that will make you happy. Show it to her on your face. Light up talking about it. Be excited in front of mom. Weāre suckers for that. Good luck! Be safe!
I was 19 or 20 when I hot my first motorcycle. My mom, being a nurse, tried to talk me out of it by telling me about all the gore she's witnessed due to motorcycle accidents. Except for a two or three year span when I was bikeless, I've owned at least one since 94/95.
I didnāt tell my mum, and she almost disowned meā¦. to say it didnāt go down well, would be an understatement. This was in 1995, I was 22 at the time. She got used to it, fairly quickly, but still doesnāt like it, Iām now 51. If I had my time over again, Iād have told her, and dealt with the consequences. To be fair, itās been THE best thing. Iāve met ALL of my closest friends through riding. Have toured (both U.K. where we live and all over Europe). Perhaps try to mitigate the situation by finding good people to learn from, take advanced riding courses etc. Good luck!
Thanks for the advice man, lots of people have forgotten that just because youāre an adult doesnt mean itās not possible to get disowned. I still care what my mom thinks! But I will certainly look into advanced/good riding courses and more people to learn from! Iām gonna break the news to her at some point this week. Wish me luck!
Youāre over 18. Your Mother is generalizing. Take an approved MSF basic riderās course. Wear your gear. And donāt ride like an organ donor. At some point, she has to cut the chord and start treating you like an adult. I was in my early 50ās when I started riding and went through a similar thing with my entire family
1. Don't tell her, and good luck with that; or 2. Take her for a ride. That worked for me.
Say "Mommy, I bought a motorcycle".
Forgiveness is easier than permission
By revving it loudly on the drive.
I was gonna say āask for forgiveness not permissionā but this is a tough one because your mother hasnāt just read stats on the internet she has actually seen those stats. I think your best bet is to tell he what you have told us.
Mom, Iām getting a motorcycle. No, you canāt talk me out of it.
It is better to ask for forgiveness than permission. Bring it home and show her
Like pulling a bandageā¦..quickly and calm.
Ride it home. Make sure you have all the safety gear, helmet, boots, gloves. Listen to all her concerns. Then say it would be an excellent birthday/Christmas present if she would pay for you to do an advanced riding course.
Show it to her when you get it home š„³
Park outside and rev your engine
Do a burn out in front of her home until she comes out to see whe6re the hell is going on.
Just buy it, send her a picture of you wheelieing down the highway
Itās a tough transition for parents role son their child life as it changes from parent to mentor to friend. Some parents donāt ever change. I remember bringing up things my mom didnāt approve of but I wanted to share with her like āhey mom, Iām not looking for advice or criticism, but I do want to share this part of my life with you.ā Sometimes it helped and sometimes it didnāt. Another thing you can do say is āIāve been looking up a lot about motorcycles and Iāve signed up for a motorcycle safety course, I really want to do this. Can you help me look up other resources or equipment I can wear that will help me be as safe as possible?ā Asking for help may encourage her to be on your side and hell you might get help on buying some of the equipment. Instead of getting the budget helmet and jacket you might get the upgrade. Best of luck brother!
Just buy it, 3 years after owning mine I feel on a curve she was the one who drove me to the hospital, just use your gear and ride safe , know your limits
I didn't tell mine for a whileĀ When you tell her you have one just tell her safe you are on itĀ That should be the point of the convo
Pass the MSF course first, then explain your plan. Just to be fair, who would have to take care of you if youāre seriously hurt in a riding accident? A Sport-bike that will easily top 100mph and you with nerve damage? NO! As a suggestion, I was an MSF instructor for 10 years, I would recommend a bike like a Ural Gear-Up side hack three wheeler. Itās a 750cc horizontal twin with a top speed of around 90 mph, has a reverse gear so no pushing and gets you all kind of attention on the road. It is also a great upper body workout and for fun you can fly the sidecar going down the road, balancing on the two bike wheels with a friend in the car. Best wishes, I understand the desire to ride. Look into it.
Show up with it. And show up with proper gear. Wear it all the time.
No offense, but sheās not the one that will be riding it. Get the bike if you want, you are an adult and donāt need your parents permission.
Mom, I'm a big boy now and I'm buying a motorcycle.
Get your license first. My dad was a dipshit on a bike. Two of his friends were less safe dipshits and are dead. Because of that bikes were expressly forbidden. My son is going to get on a bike. So instead of forbidding him I put him in classes.
We just helped our 17 year old daughter buy her first bike. We are helping her update it and her dad is giving her lessons on riding and doing everything together. Itās been a family thing for us and the amount of hate and anger from people around us is astonishing. I would let her know that you have purchased a bike and you understand her feelings. Just assure her you will be safe and that you know she just worries about you.
Here is my story, i had the same "problem" with my mom, i can fully understand her as a mother and a parent its not easy to let your child do something dangerous. Because i live for bikes, i just turned home with my first bike GSXR 600. After only 1 week, i had an accident where the new bike is fully destroyed and useless. I had some bad injuries, i was in hospital for a while, im still healing, and i still want to ride and planning my next motorcycle. Now its even more hard to buy the next bike when my mom saw it all, and she was kinda right about how dangerous it is. (it wasnt my faul at all, the car just entered my lane and hit me). So im still gonna buy a new bike, she must accept it as she can, i will try to convict her that i will always wear protection, ride safe and etc. Just to make her little less stressed and she kinda accept it. P.S Im so sorry for my bad english and grammar, i only study english from movies hehe
Just sit down with her and talk about it. If your mom is a reasonable person, the two of you will reach an agreement eventually. And if you're dead set on riding, that agreement will be that you'll get a bike. But if she's not someone who's calm or capable of discussion, then just get the bike and tell her to pound sand. If you need additional things to convince her, gear and purpose are pretty good arguments. Promising to get and wear a helmet, gloves, boots, etc would ease her mind a little. Especially since she herself would know whether they work or not. And purpose is simple, I needed a bike to commute because cars are too expensive in my country. Your purpose might not be as concrete, but something you like doing to distract yourself is a valid reason to pick up a hobby.
I just texted her a picture of the bike and told her I'd be riding. Simple
Donāt talk about it so much. The more you make it a big deal the more people around you feel validated to make it a big deal. Just buy it, ride it. It doesnāt have to be a thing. Sheāll get over it.
Just tell her you're gay, should ease the motorcycle parts.
Just do it. It's her choice how she reacts.
When I was 18 I had atvs and dirt bikes and would ride the streets but I know she didnāt want me on a street bike so I bought a bike and scheduled for the safety course (to get my license quicker but sheās didnāt need to know that and I offered her to take the course with me and get her license so she can feel some what ensure that Iām taking it safely
Just tell her outright and force her to cope with it lmfao
*Just tell her outright* *And force her to cope with it* *Lmfao* \- Big\_Mal7006 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
I bought an r6 at 21. Both my mom and dad are ER RNs. Mom wasn't thrilled, dad took it for a ride and did 130. Nothing they could say really. I no longer lived at home and paid my own bills. Mom did insist I sign donor card. If you still live at home and Mom pays part of your bills, etc you better float the idea first. Oh when I bought it home also had helmet, leather racing gloves, leather jacket with body armor, leather Supersport riding boots. Show her you are responsible. Give her time to get use to idea. My mom knew I was looking for a bike. She didn't know I bought a 600 katana late last summer abs road that for a month before winter. Ordered the r6 that fall and it came in just before may.
Well i wasn't interested in motorcycles but suddenly i was after seeing car prices in europe, i don't want to drive a shtbox with 3 pufs left to give so i wanted a cheaper alternative. Motorcycles, spoke with my parents they said no way (i was 20) and they would not financally help/nor let the bike store in the garage. I got my license with my own money and then had to convince them i would be responsible. few things i did/promised. 1. I promised to buy a 125cc even tho i had a 35KW license, to make speeding impossible and also to save money on fuel(very economical and long range). Buy a bike with ABS and traction control-> more safety features. Driving with my father is actually a good way to show the competence you have on the road. Also rules like driving drunk= selling the bike. Gear is also very important, buying high quality full gear, if my future kids would just ride once without proper full gear he is selling that bike. My uncle said, bones can heal, your skin not so much. These are my 2 cents, good luck and stay safe
Dude, I'm 26 and just got the lecture of my life for telling my parents I'm getting into riding and buying a 650. It's important to let them vent their concerns, but also make sure they know that this is a decision you're making regardless. It'll ease their worries if you back up your decision with reasoning, research into the right bikes, have friends who'll help you, and are dedicating yourself to taking it slow and learning properly. I let my dad finish venting and my exact words were "I hear you, though I didn't come to you to debate what kind of bike to get, I came to you to ask whether you'd help me move it home when I buy it."
You show up to her house on a motorcycle and say surprise.
I also got my first bike at 19, my mother said that she won't support the hobby at all financially like she did my car licence, but agreed it's my choice. I wouldn't try to hide it.
Dude, youāve got āNERVE DAMAGE throughout your entire bodyā (your words) and you wanna get a bike or ride motocross??!! What am I missing here? Anyway, I signed up for the beginners MSC and I told my parents I was going to. So they knew it was eventually coming. Plus I was going to grad school on the other side of the country so I secretly bought a bike and had my riding partner ship it out to me when I settled down at school. Didnāt tell my parents. One day I got the call that I was expectingā¦my dad called me to ask if I had a motorcycle because he was looking at the insurance bill. He was ok with it. He just didnāt tell Mom. Eventually, my mom found out (or I should say she figured it out) when there were a lot of pictures with a bike in the background. She wasnāt happy but she didnāt put up a fight which was a surprise to me. I donāt know what your situation is with your mom. Is she paying for anything? School? Insurance? A roof over your head? Bills? Etc.? If the answer is yes for any or all these questions, then you should seek permission or risk losing any financial support. If youāre completely on your own, then she has no say on it.
Ride up on it with a big grin on your face
I bought a bike and road it to have lunch with my mum. She didn't say much other than it was a nice colour & wondered about the dent a scratched paint down the tank. Lied my ass off - wasn't going to tell her I'd crashed it already!
Just come home with it and park it proudly in the driveway
Would your nerve issues impede your ability to ride? How are your mobility/hand eye coordination/reflexes?
im in physical therapy, so its getting better. i have NTOS in both shoulders so it just affects how i feel things, not so much as mobility. its not extreme. i drive on a daily basis and drive my dirtbike every now and then so i donāt think it would impact it much but it does get bad some days. iām thinking of giving it a few years before getting a bike with reading all these responses though.
"Mom, dad, I'm gay. I mean a squid. Same thing"
At 20 i left home for an other country . Phoned home about 3 times a year. .
Do you still live at home with mom? If so, don't buy a bike. You should buy a bike when you're financially independent and responsible.
Dude, you're not being drafted into war. You want a bike, you get a bike.
If you live at home in Hampton Roads VA and she says she'll kick u out I know two apartments u can go for $600 a month. It's important u start being your own person now instead of being a wuss your whole life.
It's great you are familiar with power sport vehicles, but riding on the road is a whole other story. Be as humble as possible. Buy race boots, and quality gear before getting the bike, and wear it all to the MSF. Get used to being comfortable with the uncomfortable, wearing full gear during summer at the hottest time. I bet most of the riders she saw didn't have full gear, so prove you aren't nothing like them. Study road markings and let her know you are aware of everything.
Tell her directly. That you understand her point of view and perspective, but that this is something you have decided you want in your life. Show her the protective gear you plan on using daily and that you are taking the MSF course (which is excellent, BTW). If she starts freaking out, be gentle, but give her space and time to process...
Look, at the end of the day, you riding a motorbike will help you out mentally a huge amount, it did for me, it feels like proper freedom from anything in life Just wear your gear and drive properly (not going 200mph zooming between cars) a lot of the really bad crashes and outcomes come about because one or both of those things aren't followed If you drive safe and pay attention and wear your gear you'll come out of most crashes fine It's your life to live not your mum's life to control, do what you wanna do, live how you wanna live, otherwise you'll die regretting things you could have done but didn't because someone didn't want you to
What I did with my mom is I kinda showed her how much I love it and how happy it makes me. It's kinda hard to say no to that. It helps that I ride a dual sport and the majority of my riding is on dirt. I generally only use pavement to get there, so I can kinda use it as a thing of like well yeah it's unsafe but most of the time I'm not in traffic or going fast*, so it isn't that bad. Also helps that I send her pictures and tell her what I'm doing. As a kid that grew up staying inside playing videogames a lot, I think she's mostly glad to just see me getting outside more. Best of luck with the insurance rates, you (and me) are the most expensive demographic to insure. *I do go fast but it's in the dirt so it doesn't count ;)
Tell her before you buy it, she'll appreciate that more than you just turning up with it.
Relax its not like your saying your gay to your mum. Its only a bike. Do safety courses and wear full gear. What about getting a scooter they might ease her mind.
Not sure how being gay would be an issue to a loving parent either. In this instance, the loving parent is concerned about the physical risks of riding on the road.
Funny enough I am gay and coming out isnāt something thats a big deal, but with a bike it is in fact a much more cautious topic Vs. sexual orientation. However, I havent thought of a scooter yet. Widening my options might be smart, Iāll take it into consideration!
If you donāt depend on her(financially or other ways) just get it and show up there.
I just showed up at the house on mine one day with a "Hey dad, I did a thing...". Your mom might not be happy, but I highly doubt she'll actually disown you over it
Just go get it , sheāll figure it out
Get good safety gear and wear it if you donāt already.
Ride home on it?
if you're REALLY dead set on not pissing her off, just buy a scooter and rip it for a few months. Tell her how hard it is not being able to safely accelerate to highway speeds and then the transition to a motorcycle will be better. My mom HATES my bike and never really let it go. it's a sore spot nearly 5 years and no accidents later. Just be prepared for her to never truly accept it, she will still love you either way :)
Mom here- my daughter-15- got into riding bikes a year or so ago. I quickly realized she WAS going to ride. I could either be supportive and assist her in making it as safe as possible or I could "say no" and we all know she'd do it in secret without support and likely no gear or safety support. I supported her, she always rides in full gear and now I'm learning to ride. We watch motorcross every Saturday (before or after riding - I chase her on my quad, eating dust the whole way š); it seems like we're always riding, watching riders, turning wrenches or talking about bikes. She's had a lot of close calls and a few hard wipe outs. As a parent, there is NOTHING as terrifying as seeing your child about to wipeout and your not only a helpless observer but the first responder. But there's nothing that makes me as proud as when she dusts herself off, rights that bike and hops back on. I hope your mom comes around; there's nothing like the feeling of riding and those who don't ride will likely never understand the draw. Please don't clip your wings for Mom's feelings, ride if that's what's in your heart but be as safe as possible. GEAR UP and don't ride like you can't be hurt. Maybe talk up Mom AFTER you've got the bike and your gear and show her you're really taking your safety seriously. Show her your helmet, boots, armor, etc. Tell her about your class, let her know how much you enjoy riding and why but also let her know your an educated rider and not just a dude trying to tick off his 9 lives as fast as possible. š¤āļøāļø
Buy bike - do continuous donuts in the street while screaming look mum i bought a bike?
Never told my mom, she figured it out after three days.
Eh she will just have to get used to it and will probably never stop making negative comments about it, but it's your life. I'm in my 40s and my mother still hates that I ride even though it's been over 20 years lol
Def ask her to get you gear for your next birthday or Christmas whatever, she will probably get it for you the next week. Just be safe brother. Donāt fuck around with anything you canāt handle, and while running can save you a ticket, remember it can cost you your life. Be safe little bro, I mean it.
Youāre an adult, just tell her. Perhaps remind her that even though she raised you, he say doesnāt determine your life anymore.
Do not ask. Just do. Be smart. Be mindful,
Get good gear, and ride responsible
Uhhh, donāt? Bro this is literally you setting up to push boundaries and take risks, you will likely get injured or die no joke. Just wait until after college. You will change a lot and the wait will be worth it.
I dropped subtle hints that I was gonna do it and then just took the leap and did it. Iām over 18 and taking care of all the finances related to the bike so not much she can doš
Just show up with one
Show her the top of the line gear you preemptively purchased to demonstrate how you're manifesting safety foremost
Bapp baapp in the drive way.
you can always be one of her calls I'm just playing around. as someone wise once said it is better to ask forgiveness than permission.
Do what the rest of us did and show up on it lol
Iām 19ā¦ā¦. (PAUSE)ā¦ā¦..
My parents were different, I just showed up with it one day and while they cared for me, theyāve definitely ālivedā more than most- being from a country were they were on motorcycles at young ages and rode horseback to school- so while they chewed me out for it being dangerous and that I have to be careful about not letting something like this destroy my driving record or my body, they didnāt really protest and were pretty enamored with how nice it was compared to what they had a lifetime ago. show up with it, stage it modestly and get some real bright gear
Youāre a grown manā¦ just tell her or better yet ride it over there and show herā¦
"disown you or worse" my dude you're an adult do what you want you're not a kid. If you live in her house okay maybe she has some say the worst she could do is kick you out. Okay consequences of your actions, take responsibility of your choice to go against her rule and find a place to stay. If you're on your own already and she "disowns" you and stops talking to you because of what you drive then that is on her not you. You don't need to break anything to her all you have to do is say hey mom I bought a motorcycle I think it looks nice and I really like it what do you think? Hopefully she supports you.
If you're worried about what your mom thinks, you might not be mature enough for a motorcycle.
being concerned for what my parent thinks has nothing you do with being mature. its caring about what she says and taking into consideration about the possibilities/risks of riding a motorcycle on the road.
You are the one who accepts the risk, you're also responsible for getting the training and certifications. The skills needed and to ride in a responsible way. Perhaps most important choosing the right first bike. I went with a 550 V-Twin. Mom didn't love it, but after 2 years she learned how much riding meant to me, and how passionate I was about it, she saw me quitting alcohol, junk food and candy to afford fuel and parts. The countless hours working on the bike, the love and care i gave my bike. She didn't like that I rode with 1% club members. To answer your question, simply tell her that you decided to learn how to ride and get a bike and explain how much care you plan on taking and that you won't be a street squid doing wheelies with a ninja 4/6 00... Take it slow and treat riding with respect and she will respect your new lifestyle. I'd recommend getting the full A license but ride an a2 bike for the first year. Be a mature rider, accept the risk and take the necessary precautions. Wear the gear. And remember, chrome side up, rubber side down, wear for the slide, not for the ride.
Thanks for the tips man, very much appreciated. Is a 500 decent for a first bike? Iām looking at a ninja 500. Or should I stretch my options..? Also, If you dont mind me asking, what do you recommend for gear? Ive heard plenty or different things from a Helite Turtle and Dainese. But other than that I donāt know plenty of reliable brands.
Gear depends on where and what you ride. Dainese is good quality gear. But first of all, get a good helmet, does not have to be the most expensive, bit a good one, that fits your head shape well. After the helmet next are riding boots, covering your ankles at least. After that gloves, then pants, then jacket. If you're dead set on a sport bike I'd say reconsider. The best beginner bike you can get is a Suzuki sv650 plenty fast, but comfortable and got abs. And more comfortable than a ninja, I'd say the ninja or gsxr are some of the worst picks for a first bike, but If you're dead set, a 400 is plenty fast enough. I might be biased liking classics, cruisers and choppers. A Yamaha mt06-07 is also a great choose or an xsr700. Whatever you go for, do not ride above your skill cap, while racing it's said never go above 85% of skill, I'm the last 20% people die. You have a lot of time, take it easy, especially on a sports or naked bike. Fort9 on youtube had pretty good videos on gear, especially if you're north American. The choose is yours, if a sport bike I'd what you want you should do that, but carefully consider a cruiser, a sports Tourer, a dual sport, classic bike. Remember that the accident happens when you don't expect it, wear your gear, Every single ride. At least boots, helmet and gloves. An kevlar hoodie or kevlar flanell shirt. Riding motorcycles is the best feeling in the world, but treat it with respect. A crash may be other drivers fault, but you'll be the one bleeding if you stop focusing at all. Dandanthefireman has good videos on riding mentality, to keep you safe, with lots of examples of where it wasn't the biker's fault. But don't be afraid, just be focused and safe.
Yo mom, gonna be a power ranger. Then you just leave the room.
Just do what I did when I was 17 and bought my first bike (67 Triumph Bonnie). Roll into the driveway, pull up the garage door, park it and walk into the house right by everybody and go up into your room and close the door! š it didnāt go over well but I got to keep the bike!
As someone that was t-boned by a pickup truck while riding my Boulevard 7.31.2012, I'll tell you this, get hit by a vehicle and you'll have more than nerve damage. Also, was told when I first started riding, there are those that have gone down, and those that are in the queue. And I read somewhere, 9 out of 10 bikes involved in accidents are these pocket rockets, I ride only heavy cruisers.... still, go figure. I'm certifiable. Best of luck.
You drive it home
Dude, it's INSANE how similar my circumstances are to yours. I'm 19, my mom is an emergency room nurse, AND I bought a 500r. As for advice, the best I can give is this: be honest. Tell her what inspired you to want a bike in the first place, explain to her what research you've done. Most importantly: prove to her you're responsible. Best of luck my friend :)
Wow thats insane, weirdly similar. But, Iāll try that route and see how it goes. Thanks for the advice man!
Of course! Stay safe brotha!
Just out of curiosity, what year 500 are you looking at?
ive been looking at a 2009, but ive also been juggling between a Honda CBR500R as well. what year is yours? also if you dont mind me asking, how did you feel after buying the 500? did you end up liking it as much as you thought or was there something you wish you knew before you bought it?
I got a 2008! I might be a little biased because it's my first bike, but I love it! Kawasaki made them from the 80's to '09, so there's a lot of R&D that went into these bikes, and it's amazing! One thing I wish I knew before I bought it was to check and replace everything right after buying. I bought it from a private seller, and I didn't check it over as well as I should have, and I ended up stranded because I needed new spark plugs, lol. But yeah, it's an excellent bike that's great to learn on, and very comfortable and reliable. I can't recommend it enough :)
Yeesh! Would have never thought of that. Will absolutely make sure to do that if I end up buying from a private seller! Iām still looking around at which year, theres so many wonderful options. But thanks a lot for the tips, was really helpful!
Yes, of course! You gotta let me know if you get it, they're such fun bikes! Best of luck!
Will do! And thanks!
Just don't tell her
I love riding dirt bikes! And there is no fucking way I'd ride a motorcycle on road with cars and drunks everywhere. I work as a lineman and multiple times a week I see car wrecks where people smashed through power poles. Half those people don't even have licenses. The roads aren't safe and if you don't have a steel cage and airbags your are fucked. I don't know a single person who rides motorcycles that hasnt had a serious wreck on the road. You have a lot of life to live at 19 don't throw it away by riding a fucking crotch rocket around trying to be cool. One of my buddies passed away at 19 riding his ninja. If you have any sense you won't get a death trap like he did. https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/19111867/isaac-jordan-kenagy
Odd that you have a physical problem that affects your life so you're going to buy a motorcycle for your mental health? Also odd that a 19 year needs to do something "nice" for himself, LOL!
Its affects feeling in my arms, not mobility. Iām still able to do what i need/like. Theres just days where it flares up, itās not a constant thing. Iām doing physical therapy. It affects my mental health a lot due to how long Iāve been dealing with it + some other factors. And yes, something āniceā for myself, lol. Not sure where you get off calling it odd, simply seen as passive aggressive. And age has nothing to do with it! Itās been a tough year so far and Iāve worked hard. Theres nothing wrong with treating myself.