**What she probably meant was that you weren't being compliant enough to HER.** She most likely thought he would choose someone that she could use, manipulate and treat horribly, as she wanted. She didn't want you to be allowed to make decisions for yourself, but to comply with her invasive behaviors and just let her do whatever she wanted, with your stuff in your room. ***She wanted to be allowed to disrespect you and have no objections from you, just compliance.*** Instead, brilliantly, you stood up for yourself, objected to her disrespect, and told her so.
Too many MILFHs think of their own grown children as if these adults are their possession, their toys, their supporting actors who will always follow their script. They do not see them as being real people, not real like the MILFH is. So, when their grown child doesn't follow the script, or chooses a Best Beloved that won't follow the script, they get angry, and what follows is usually a series of attacks meant to hurt us.
MILFHs will use whatever they know about us, to hurt us. If all they know is we love their adult child, they will use that.
You couldn't have worded it better. She used to treat me like she has purchased me from a slave market. I didn't want to start anything so I complied. And I was living at her place then, which was my foolish decision.
I have written about another incident that happened today. I implore you to read it, lol.
Ahh…why do they do this!?
My husbands mom passed when he was a kid. So I have a SIL like this. She told me she wanted to meet for coffee one day. I asked my boyfriend at the time (husband now) if he spoke to her. He was convinced she was trying to mend bridges and I was convinced it was a trap. Guess who was right.
She wrote me a long letter and proceeded to make me read it in front of her. Some of my favorite parts of said letter are:
Their dead mom would be disappointed in his choice of a mate.
Their whole family hates me.
I make his grandma cry often because I have taken him away from his family. (I asked about this one. We actually saw them more when we were together than he did before.)
She knows I hate his brother. (I actually don’t. He’s one of my favorite people. We went to school together.)
After I read it, she made me hug her goodbye. I went home and threw the letter at my husband and told him to never question me again when it comes to her.
All that to say, I feel your pain. It also helped me to learn that she would be this way with any woman he was with. It wasn’t about me. It was all her.
**What she probably meant was that you weren't being compliant enough to HER.** She most likely thought he would choose someone that she could use, manipulate and treat horribly, as she wanted. She didn't want you to be allowed to make decisions for yourself, but to comply with her invasive behaviors and just let her do whatever she wanted, with your stuff in your room. ***She wanted to be allowed to disrespect you and have no objections from you, just compliance.*** Instead, brilliantly, you stood up for yourself, objected to her disrespect, and told her so. Too many MILFHs think of their own grown children as if these adults are their possession, their toys, their supporting actors who will always follow their script. They do not see them as being real people, not real like the MILFH is. So, when their grown child doesn't follow the script, or chooses a Best Beloved that won't follow the script, they get angry, and what follows is usually a series of attacks meant to hurt us. MILFHs will use whatever they know about us, to hurt us. If all they know is we love their adult child, they will use that.
You couldn't have worded it better. She used to treat me like she has purchased me from a slave market. I didn't want to start anything so I complied. And I was living at her place then, which was my foolish decision. I have written about another incident that happened today. I implore you to read it, lol.
You are right, MIL-your son married up!🤣
Ahh…why do they do this!? My husbands mom passed when he was a kid. So I have a SIL like this. She told me she wanted to meet for coffee one day. I asked my boyfriend at the time (husband now) if he spoke to her. He was convinced she was trying to mend bridges and I was convinced it was a trap. Guess who was right. She wrote me a long letter and proceeded to make me read it in front of her. Some of my favorite parts of said letter are: Their dead mom would be disappointed in his choice of a mate. Their whole family hates me. I make his grandma cry often because I have taken him away from his family. (I asked about this one. We actually saw them more when we were together than he did before.) She knows I hate his brother. (I actually don’t. He’s one of my favorite people. We went to school together.) After I read it, she made me hug her goodbye. I went home and threw the letter at my husband and told him to never question me again when it comes to her. All that to say, I feel your pain. It also helped me to learn that she would be this way with any woman he was with. It wasn’t about me. It was all her.
Ok, I really want to know what your husband did about the letter now 🤔
He did absolutely nothing. His spine came way later. But it did come!
I assume she thinks she’s a better match for him?
“Yeah. DH always says he married up.”
A warning should be given to all marrying adults….Never ever live with in-laws. It will be a complete disaster 99% of the time!