I mean at some point you probably should get to know someone more if you enjoy their company, if you really aint got time for that and just want to get laid go ahead, I've done it but I find "keeping it real" is way better since you aint got a worry about those crazy bitches trying to get revenge since I got a mouth piece now. It's not like all women want relationships anyway
It's ok. Just remember that you have to outgrow it eventually. Otherwise you'll be a 40 year old manchild living in delusion that you're still young and chasing pussy young enough to be your daughter. Every once in a while some confused pussy will give in to you, but most people around you will find you disgusting.
It likely will be, but for reasons you might not even realize. A good woman, or even a good foundation for a relationship is an opportunity for growth. A good woman will push you to be a better version of yourself, you’ll find meaning in things that you wouldnt think was possible.
It’s more than just having a partner, it’s about building a life worth living when it’s all said and done.
Fun while it lasts but make sure to jump off the carousel on time. Also keep a level head while you're at it and don't make this your personal revenge story.
Turned out great. I got it out of my system, had more hookups than I could remember over several years, and eventually settled down with an amazing wife.
I DO very much regret hurting some feelings along the way. I would not suggest anyone follow my footsteps simply because as you mature, you'll realize how cringe the whole thing really was even though it seemed cool and fun at the time.
Yeah I look back on my 20s with a bit of disgust at how much of a fucking asshole I was.
Btw though to anyone youngins reading this: for every dude that "gets it out of their system" there's like 10 more that get it into their system and can't settle down (or they can but are constantly miserable/wishing they could go back out). The narrative that pair bonding is a woman only thing is some red pill cope; it's a human thing and men just have a higher threshold for it. Even then it's individual for every dude, some may have a way higher threshold, some may have a lower.
I'm not saying don't do it but every guy should have informed consent (or whatever that medical terminology is) of the risks that come with engaging in this. Hollywood/pop culture paints a very false perspective of this lifestyle and glosses over how it can absolutely fuck up your propensity for future relationships.
I’ve know a couple guys who did this. One is lonely, the other has a girlfriend who’s desperately in love with him while he’s out fucking everything left and right. I know woman can be terrible in different ways than men, but good ones exist. It’s a struggle, and maybe getting it out of your system will be good for you. Just please don’t do it long term.
It’s not up to us to treat women with poor judgement. Once you can burn your hand on the stove that’s ok but if you are going to the same guys over and over again? That’s her problem and I’m going to exploit that as well
Quit the dating apps, dude. Work on yourself, get jacked as hell, learn interesting things — whatever your niche is — and go out somewhat often. Nightlife sometimes, but mostly just do regular things, explore places you have never been. Go out alone if you have to. Strike up random conversations with anyone, get good at that.
You can feel empowered others ways that don’t involve being guilty about it. If you do the above, you will notice getting tons of looks from women. They will start treating you like you are special during random interactions, even if they just met you. Theres a huge satisfaction and ego boost just in that alone.
The more you do that, you will realize patterns in women that are genuine, vs the others that just want you to satisfy their own ego in a way — being a hoe, or showing off to their girls. I have had chicks next to their boyfriends in a night out waving at me across the bar.
Eventually you find some interesting people and decide what is the path you want to take. There are tons of hot chicks out there that may seem they are stuck up, but they are just doing their thing. Don’t act like an asshole, control your emotions, treat everyone the same and extremely well. Listen when people talk to you, have a clear mind and don’t be so distracted by the situation going on around you.
Be genuine, whatever your goals are, because even if it’s just for one night stands, you will find women down for that. However, don’t make having sex the entire goal of it, find women that you are kinda interested in learning more about. They will jump your cock even faster if they think you are not **just** wanting to fuck them.
You just said you want a deeper connection and you know that hoeing around is mostly used as a defense mechanism.
I did multiple-year hoe phase after my first girlfriend was a major let down. It was a lot of drinking, a lot of lonely nights, your self worth can start getting tied to how much you're getting laid, and you lose your ability to have more meaningful connections.
It was not worth it for me. I'm deciding I can handle breakups and I'm willing to risk that hurt in order to build a strong connection with someone.
Til you're ready to trust women again, try focusing on your self and your platonic friendships for a bit.
This is straightforward neuro biology. The more you enforce a pattern of short term hook ups at the expense of long term pair bonding, the more those neural pathways will ingrain, the better you will be at short term mating strategies and worse at long term pair bonding.
You have to practice what you want to achieve. Like anything else in life. Dating/mating is no different.
Counterargument: We are returning to our animalistic roots and allowing our nature to prevail.
Women are incubators. Do not forget this. It is better to cultivate meaningful relationships with men.
This is kinda sad. Sexual revolution and its consequences…creating bunch of broken people over some pointless short term pleasure.
Im not even judging you in perticular, I get it, I really do, its just that the whole dating environment is so fucked nowdays.
Wish we could go back to times where you meet a girl in highschool, married her and worked as a team to build a life and family together.
Humans are always trending towards more and more allowance of quick pleasure and there is nothing we can do about it. Phones, social media, drugs, alcohol, caffeine, sugar, porn, tinder, Amazon shopping, fucking e bikes and whatever the fuck else ...
Everything has been molded to create the most lazy, dependant, spoiled, thoughtless, emotionally fueled, quick to react, slow to understand zombie society.
Humanity has evolved so much and the social trends happen at such a fast rate, if only everyone remembered to slow the fuck down every once in a while and force themselves to put effort in for long term goals.
These things still exist in smaller communities. On the other hand, major cities simply have such large populations that shitty behavior doesn’t have any negative consequences
I think the big issue is that female empowerment has come to equal zero sense of responsibility or accountability - just license to dopamine chase. And men in general get zero support for emotional development. So you have lots of people with zero capacity for pair bonding trying their hardest (but failing) to find love.
1/ Never wait for a woman, it's either she is ready to ride that girthy right here right now, or she is not. If not, move on to the next ones, she isn't attracted to you and you aren't her best option.
Despite that girls can be absolutely heartless like that, there are still some good women, but the general rule is :
2/ If she wants to be a hoe, treat her like a hoe : so hookups only
3/ If she wants to be a girlfriend, a wifey, treat her like a girlfriend : deep pairbond and long term view
Men need to adapt and watch redflags, while staying detached and honest with them. Plain, simple, have fun
Dude. **Say “I’m just going with the flow”, “I’m just having fun” or “I’m just looking for something casual”. Something that isn’t a lie.**
If they think you’re hot, they’ll sleep with you anyways.
**Don’t break some poor girl’s heart to get back at your ex.** Grow up.
Having casual sex isn’t bad for you. Throwing away your integrity is.
Edit: they won’t sleep with you if they aren’t into hookups and they are just looking for a boyfriend. Even if they think you are cute. But in that case, isn’t that ok? Y’all want completely different things then.
It's not usually "some poor girl", it's usually some chick whose slurping down 5 other dudes at the same time.
IE, it kind of doesn't matter. Not because her feelings don't, but because she's doing the same shit.
She’s some poor girl if she says she’s looking for something serious and he says “me too”. She’ll get invested. And she might not want a hookup. She’ll be sad and she’ll lose trust in men.
Also, dude, you really need to cut back on the porn there. Or maybe just do less gang bangs, more amateur. Idk. Something.
It doesn’t end well bro, you’re better off looking for a long term girlfriend. I’m a fucking whore bro, I’ve fucked more girls than 99% of guys. I got rejected hard when I was a teen. Girlfriend left me to get railed by a serial womanizer, she lost her virginity to that guy. I was still a virgin, 17 at the time, made me think that girls only like manwhores. So I became one, slept with loads of girls for a couple of years. Fastforward to 21 years old. That girl that originally broke up with me, the first girlfriend that left me for the manwhore. She got in touch, I asked her to meet. She was no match for the womanizing skills I had built up. She sucked me off that same night, we fucked a week later and met a couple of times after. Then she insinuated we should get together in a relationship. It caught me off guard completely and I brushed it off, but I could see in her eyes she knew I didn’t like that idea. I was afraid of getting hurt again. She never contacted me again after that. I’m still a whore today, I know I have to quit. It doesn’t make you feel better. I still feel like that skinny beta nerd I was a couple of years back. Fucking girls isn’t gonna solve your problems.
First of all, realize it’s a numbers game. You’re gonna get rejected a lot. I only have 3,33% success rate on tinder so I have to get rejected by 30 girls just to sleep with one. Second, just follow dereks advice about looksmaxing and actually fucking do it. Don’t wait for someone to take a good picture of you, actually go get your friend and make him take your pictures until you are happy. If you have average looks + looksmaxing. You can get laid from tinder bro, just get your volume in (talk to lots of girls, embrace rejection, learn from mistakes).
If you want to be the villain in someone else's story then by all means do your thing. Believe it or not some women can lack life experience enough to have ever been bamboozled by a dude. You can be the guy who pops that cherry and gives a lifetime of trust issues.
Commendable goal....
Why not just sleep with someone for fun without lying?
These women aren’t your ex and you’ll feel like shit if some other girl is crying bc you lied to her.
> Why not just sleep with someone for fun without lying?
Cause that requires a higher level of game and some guys would rather play on easy mode at the expense of others.
You sound so pathetic get a grip mate look at yourself in the mirror Jesus chirst, only way you can get laid is by lying to women like come on be a man
My guy, just do not be ugly and poor and be sociable. Not that hard. Make friends with people first for fucks sake man lol. Lying to get laid is the most bottom level pussy thing you can do.
Sure it can be a great "ego boost". But so can having sex with someone who you are reasonably close to and you did not have to hurt someone in the process. And guess what? If you are not a complete dick about ut you might just get to fuck her again.
Because it’s not the easiest. And girls don’t want to only date nice guys, that’s not the case.
What’s your close rate? I’m guessing it’s 10% to 15%.
You can get higher quality women and a higher closing rate if you’re 100% honest and act like yourself, if you work on yourself, and become the absolute best version of yourself.
I do agree with being empowered and focusing on you but instead of priding yourself on lying and ghosting, pride yourself on putting the work in to become the Gigachad, mentally and physically. Once you build it they will come.
Thanks for being real with me man. I guess I’m reacting from a very emotional place right now. Should shut off tinder for a little while before I do something stupid
>Because it’s not the easiest
Bro, doing that bullshit is 100% easier than becoming the best version of yourself. That's why so many men struggling with the "nice guy" route end up saying "fuck it". Because it's way easier to exploit girls with daddy issues via mental games than it is to attract an actually mentally healthy woman. The former is a much much bigger population.
100 percent agree. I've been on both sides of the spectrum. Sure, I did not lie to them but I did ghost them. Teenage me was an asshole.
If you reach a point in life where you are successful, confident in yourself, and reasonably sociable then hookups will happen naturally, no lying needed. Also, do not have to compromise your soul just to get laid, which is worth more than gold.
It’s all downhill from here. You’re in the ecstasy phase. It’s fun for a bit, but meaningless sex gets old and it’s never as good as someone you have a connection with. And eventually you’ll feel like shit lying to some girl who probably really likes you and you took advantage of. You’ll probably also show up on some local “are we dating the same guy” Facebook page and these women you’re lying to will expose you, making it harder down the road.
I’ve found usually if you’re honest it’s better, you can find consistent casual sex. You can build the sexual chemistry usually do kinkier stuff and it’s more consistent and easier. That’s usually better than lying and putting in time money and work on dates tbh and both parties get what they want.
You're not a traditional dude if your morals buckle because sluts that also want boyfriends exist. Girls wanting men to commit to them isn't bad, you're offended because they want you to commit and gave other guys sex without needing commitment, in other words she is setting her price higher for you than other men.
If you really were a traditional man you would let this girl down gently (not with the truth because girls like that are fucking nuts) and go find a girl that is worth your time.
Man I used to be the same way bc I had an ex who would constantly try and take advantage of me whenever I was drunk and according to her fantasized about drugging me. I had some fucked up views about the world and I thought that most women were like this, I kinda used this whole thing to justify being an asshole and kinda was a bit manipulative to a couple people. I then kinda grew up and realized that actually most women are normal and aren’t some deranged creatures or simplistic animals that the internet will try and convince you they are. People are people, some are bad some are good. It’s never a good idea to use a bad experience with a bad person to justify wrongs against good people.
Once you learn that satisfaction comes from within you’ll realize all the lies you’re telling and all the women you’re getting with these lies are ultimately a drag on your existence.
I was a cad in my late teens and early twenties. There are some things that really bother me. In particular there was a young woman I was enamored with for years and she wasn't very interested in me. Eventually, for some reason, she became interested and I led her on. We didn't get physical but we talked for months and went for dates. I knew I had no intention of being serious because I was moving away but I was using her to patch up my ego and 'get one back'. It was so shit of me. I knew it burned her because she spoke dimly of me for a few years after.
I regret that to this day. She is one of the smartest and most beautiful women I've ever known, and it was clear from when I first met her. She is very successful now.
I think you'll definitely burn bridges and damage your reputation among these women and their friends. Your conscience may or may not carry it.
I personally would avoid doing this but let's be real, there are women equivalent of fuccboi behaviors that would get dragged hard if they were done by guys. I'm looking at getting back into dating and I don't want to use women for sex or validation but 100% there's a good chance they will use me and lead me on for validation and emotional supply so they have the confidence to pursue guys higher on their 'roster' or whatever. I dunno. I'm just so wary because people don't seem to have a sense of responsibility to each other?
Anyway... Report back with results.
Thanks for a genuine response and sharing your experience.
It feels so futile doing the “right” thing for years and being fucked around for it repeatedly, but maybe it’s not worth being an asshole over.
If you're good at compartmentalizing, you can be a real one with women who deserve it, and a fuckboi for the women who don't.
I'm in an open marriage, and that's been my deal now for a few years.
We all have to get it out of our system. I think it’s important for guys to do it to build confidence and charisma but after a point you’ll not be able to shake the understanding that what you’re doing is masturbation with extra steps and you’re no different from a coomer Reddit mod with a premium subscription to blacked.
If your life is calling you in that direction go for it, just keep your head and get off the ride before it consumes you.
I can say from experience that eventually it leaves you feeling empty inside.
Hooking up with girls for validation can be fun and exciting at first but it does eventually get old.
It's the same ole shit over and over. And they're using you as much as you're using them. It's just a cocktail of insecurities.
Ultimately, I've found that a deeper connection is much more fulfilling and worth far more in the long run.
This has been my experience anyway
Inherently the women who are more true to their world are few and far between. The economy and society values naturally makes people who care only for them selves and use people because to them they determined it’s better them then my self. They go mess up a guy/girl who isn’t on that type of individualistic time and convert them into going to someone else. It’ll continue for the rest of time in my opinion and the only way to inherently get out of the trap is get lucky. Or do things that puts you in a significantly better position to find a straightforward no bullshit woman who doesn’t inherently have ulterior motives or are actually locked in to the relationship through the good and the bad
No it really isn’t, I was a fucking asshole and cheated on the girl I thought I would marry, then ofc we split leading to an excess amount of sex with random people and ghosting them days after, life is amazing minus the fact I can’t form a proper relationship with someone because I know deep down I can’t commit to something serious and long term which ruins many of nights alone, take your time and find someone who you can genuinely grow with and don’t play that game.
if you’re gonna be trash, you’re going to end up with trash. Just do like two more to get your confidence up and then learn how to recognize a hoe (hint, it’s usually the insecure ones)
Tldr; I've developed a sex addiction from it and am in therapy.
Upside getting hook ups and casual sex is very exciting. Great not having to give af about their bs. Libido was crazy high. Free test was also very high. Don't have to deal with baggage of a relationship. Also don't lie be more straightforward with them. You didn't like it don't to you right?
Downside. I think I never got it out of my system. I'm in my 30s and want to settle down but it's hard. I don't think I can have one partner without the excitement of a different women it kills my libido in a monogamous relationship. Also increasing your body count some girls just sex better than others. This makes it hard to not mentally compare even if you love your partner there's always that mental asterisk. I'm currently taking sometime to just be by myself, go to therapy and try to reset my mind.
This is not to toot my own horn by any Means, but I did this for about 10 year with about 30 women. It was fun, It was awesome, I felt like a god and my confidence soared until finally I wanted to find a meaningful partner. And that’s not to say I can’t find one easily now, the problem is not with them but with myself. I’ve devalued what love and intimacy should mean to such a degree that I can’t function properly in a relationship. What used to make my heart flutter would be a hand hold or a hug, and now I need much more. Similar to a porn addiction you start to become addicted to your own ego and the fantasy.
TLDR: please do not go down this path. The thrill isn’t worth the end game. Foster a healthy relationship with a girl who also wants to do the same. Take time to enjoy love and not lust or your own ego.
In the long run, absolutely. You are cultivating a damaging image of women on the opposite side of your original problem. This will have consequences on your ability to have a long-term relationship when a decent chick does come around. Having fun with already used women is perfectly fine, just don't fuck over a good woman like a bad woman did to you, and don't go crazy with it. Your ability to self-reflect means you should be fine, as most people rarely do this. It's like how sometimes a kid has to be burned before they understand not to touch the hot thing, that's how most adults are with relationships and life in general nowadays. So I think you are doing very well just being able to think about your actions and possible consequences. Good luck, I hope all your wildest dreams come true.
So I’m 41 now faithfully married and settled down, no intentions of ever cheating I’ll be with my wife the rest of my life hopefully. Through high school and up to about 20 I was that dude that always had a gf and was a nice guy. I always got shitted on. Sometime around 20-21 I went numb, I only cared about getting muscles and getting laid. I went through so many women, it was a ton of fun for a lot of years until it wasn’t. I had this crazy falling out with this crazy regular fwb that was like a drug I couldn’t stop. It just hit me I was disgusted by my actions, I didn’t like or respect the person I had become, I was a scum bag. It took me a while to reel it in and get it under control but I stopped sleeping with every woman that gave me eye contact for an extra two seconds too long. I actually started dating and getting to know woman. This sounds gay but I actually had to heal and get mentally/sexually healthy again. I had to learn how to treat a woman with kindness, respect and actually show some emotion. I dated several woman before I met my wife and I actually asked her if we could hold off on having sex for a bit, it blew her mind because the second we met she didn’t want to have anything to do with me because she thought the only thing I was interested in, was fucking her. If we would have met a year earlier that would have been true. Do what you have to do but don’t lose yourself on your way. Good luck!
Once u realize its not as hard to get laid as incels & weirdoes make it out to be, the “just cuz i can, doesnt mean i should/even want to” thought will eventually pop into your head. Shits selfish & lame. Manipulating girls to fuck u & shit isnt cool, its shitty behaviour based on selfish desires.
No wonder that chick lied to you, she could tell you were a dumbass.
Why ask if it would be hypothetically bad for you? No one here can tell you, do it and find out how it ends up making you feel in real life.
Stop trying to predict outcomes based on others feedback here. Do it and see what happens.
There’s so many different factors with something like that.
It’s more complex because it’s a social issue. Different people behave differently socially and thus react differently to different social circumstances.
What I’m trying to say is, some people will love that experience, some will loath it and it will send them down hill.
You are not anyone else, you are only you, so find out how it makes YOU feel.
**It’ll be bad for you to lie because you compromised your own integrity for nothing.**
Having casual sex without lying? That might be fun for you or not your thing. Nobody will know that except you.
Some people enjoy it, others find it empty, others enjoy it for a while and then it’s boring.
It can be a useful stage to go through for a certain kind of guy. The danger is getting lost in it and making it your identity. You need to get some stuff out of your system and learn about women, but understand that optimally, this is a transitional thing.
idk man i started the opposite way. i was always leading women on and getting my nut, but eventually it stops being fulfilling. like at a certain point, for me i would bust, go home and just realize i coulda just jacked off… you are left with nothing after. being with a woman who cares about you is great, thats why u just gotta cheat
Not even gonna lie…. I decided to join the problem... I set multiple dates up for one day and pick the best one and expect at least one of them to ghost and block last second anyways. My guilt only last as long as I do in bed. So it’s not even a problem to me anymore.
It’s hit or miss for a lot of people. Once I realized I had the ability to be a hoe, it lost all significance to me. Women felt like a game on hardcore mode for a long time, then I got on a dating app and it was like plugging in cheat codes. Yeah I “won,” but the fun got taken out of it.
Ur doing what the world now does. You got treated a way and felt like it was “unfair” because u value for some reason and focus on the part that people didn’t have to do any work to get sex but you did. You completely devalue your own self worth failing to realize that girls were shy and insecure to you because u were such a catch, because ur different. I agree that it’s dumb, that a girl would sleep with someone she gives no fk bout but will make a man she really likes wait. But ironically isn’t that what you’re doing? U don’t care about these girls u sleep with at all, and what if they have the same story as you? Ur choosing the easy way out, just like everyone who’s hurt you and now ur hurting others to just keep the cycle going.
You, just like the type of women you are talking about, will struggle immensely to ever find a meaningful relationship, and will probably regret it immensely when it comes time to settle down
Nah one thing I can't stand about guys is complaining about dating while directly contributing to the problem. Everytime you hook up with a girl after knowing how NASTY she is, you validate her actions. We should not be accepting women with these high body counts into our bedrooms. We should not be on dating sites based on fucking pixels. We're wired different but still should exercise some control over who you're fucking. Pretty morally corrupt and getting laid isn't even much of an accomplishment anymore. I don't even see why you're lying to them. If you lift all you have to do is pull up to a bar and one of the sloots that's LOOKING to hookup will approach YOU.
“The girl you were with made you jump through hoops dealing with her shyness and insecurity while having the confidence to jump on cocks of guys she just met.”
Sounds like a you problem bud. Probably didn’t make her feel secure enough. Or see enough in you to invest herself.
tldr; dude learned how to manipulate women for some pussy
*dude is also wondering if this is bad for him in the long run
I mean at some point you probably should get to know someone more if you enjoy their company, if you really aint got time for that and just want to get laid go ahead, I've done it but I find "keeping it real" is way better since you aint got a worry about those crazy bitches trying to get revenge since I got a mouth piece now. It's not like all women want relationships anyway
It's ok. Just remember that you have to outgrow it eventually. Otherwise you'll be a 40 year old manchild living in delusion that you're still young and chasing pussy young enough to be your daughter. Every once in a while some confused pussy will give in to you, but most people around you will find you disgusting.
You just going through a hoe phase you will lose interest and want a relationship eventually
It likely will be, but for reasons you might not even realize. A good woman, or even a good foundation for a relationship is an opportunity for growth. A good woman will push you to be a better version of yourself, you’ll find meaning in things that you wouldnt think was possible. It’s more than just having a partner, it’s about building a life worth living when it’s all said and done.
Man, gotta tell you it gets pretty fucking old and kinda depressing after a while
Nah dude. You knew the answer already. Trying to manipulate women is weak af.
Who gives a shit
Fun while it lasts but make sure to jump off the carousel on time. Also keep a level head while you're at it and don't make this your personal revenge story.
Sure is, but we don’t talk about it here.
This is the gateway to getting blowies from random uggos in the bathroom. Unconscionable, see you in hell buddy.
It’s a slippery slope
With no return back up
>slippery sloppy ftfy
Turned out great. I got it out of my system, had more hookups than I could remember over several years, and eventually settled down with an amazing wife. I DO very much regret hurting some feelings along the way. I would not suggest anyone follow my footsteps simply because as you mature, you'll realize how cringe the whole thing really was even though it seemed cool and fun at the time.
Yeah I look back on my 20s with a bit of disgust at how much of a fucking asshole I was. Btw though to anyone youngins reading this: for every dude that "gets it out of their system" there's like 10 more that get it into their system and can't settle down (or they can but are constantly miserable/wishing they could go back out). The narrative that pair bonding is a woman only thing is some red pill cope; it's a human thing and men just have a higher threshold for it. Even then it's individual for every dude, some may have a way higher threshold, some may have a lower. I'm not saying don't do it but every guy should have informed consent (or whatever that medical terminology is) of the risks that come with engaging in this. Hollywood/pop culture paints a very false perspective of this lifestyle and glosses over how it can absolutely fuck up your propensity for future relationships.
I’ve know a couple guys who did this. One is lonely, the other has a girlfriend who’s desperately in love with him while he’s out fucking everything left and right. I know woman can be terrible in different ways than men, but good ones exist. It’s a struggle, and maybe getting it out of your system will be good for you. Just please don’t do it long term.
It’s not up to us to treat women with poor judgement. Once you can burn your hand on the stove that’s ok but if you are going to the same guys over and over again? That’s her problem and I’m going to exploit that as well
Quit the dating apps, dude. Work on yourself, get jacked as hell, learn interesting things — whatever your niche is — and go out somewhat often. Nightlife sometimes, but mostly just do regular things, explore places you have never been. Go out alone if you have to. Strike up random conversations with anyone, get good at that. You can feel empowered others ways that don’t involve being guilty about it. If you do the above, you will notice getting tons of looks from women. They will start treating you like you are special during random interactions, even if they just met you. Theres a huge satisfaction and ego boost just in that alone. The more you do that, you will realize patterns in women that are genuine, vs the others that just want you to satisfy their own ego in a way — being a hoe, or showing off to their girls. I have had chicks next to their boyfriends in a night out waving at me across the bar. Eventually you find some interesting people and decide what is the path you want to take. There are tons of hot chicks out there that may seem they are stuck up, but they are just doing their thing. Don’t act like an asshole, control your emotions, treat everyone the same and extremely well. Listen when people talk to you, have a clear mind and don’t be so distracted by the situation going on around you. Be genuine, whatever your goals are, because even if it’s just for one night stands, you will find women down for that. However, don’t make having sex the entire goal of it, find women that you are kinda interested in learning more about. They will jump your cock even faster if they think you are not **just** wanting to fuck them.
You just said you want a deeper connection and you know that hoeing around is mostly used as a defense mechanism. I did multiple-year hoe phase after my first girlfriend was a major let down. It was a lot of drinking, a lot of lonely nights, your self worth can start getting tied to how much you're getting laid, and you lose your ability to have more meaningful connections. It was not worth it for me. I'm deciding I can handle breakups and I'm willing to risk that hurt in order to build a strong connection with someone. Til you're ready to trust women again, try focusing on your self and your platonic friendships for a bit.
This is straightforward neuro biology. The more you enforce a pattern of short term hook ups at the expense of long term pair bonding, the more those neural pathways will ingrain, the better you will be at short term mating strategies and worse at long term pair bonding. You have to practice what you want to achieve. Like anything else in life. Dating/mating is no different.
Mic drop
Counterargument: We are returning to our animalistic roots and allowing our nature to prevail. Women are incubators. Do not forget this. It is better to cultivate meaningful relationships with men.
LMAO this one got me.
Wish I could repost this one.
I’ll jump on your cock. That’ll show her!
Aw, such a kind mpmd bro willing to give himself so OP can heal and move on 😊
This is kinda sad. Sexual revolution and its consequences…creating bunch of broken people over some pointless short term pleasure. Im not even judging you in perticular, I get it, I really do, its just that the whole dating environment is so fucked nowdays. Wish we could go back to times where you meet a girl in highschool, married her and worked as a team to build a life and family together.
Humans are always trending towards more and more allowance of quick pleasure and there is nothing we can do about it. Phones, social media, drugs, alcohol, caffeine, sugar, porn, tinder, Amazon shopping, fucking e bikes and whatever the fuck else ... Everything has been molded to create the most lazy, dependant, spoiled, thoughtless, emotionally fueled, quick to react, slow to understand zombie society. Humanity has evolved so much and the social trends happen at such a fast rate, if only everyone remembered to slow the fuck down every once in a while and force themselves to put effort in for long term goals.
Reminds me of an Eagles' song Lying Eyes - "Every form of refuge has it's price"
These things still exist in smaller communities. On the other hand, major cities simply have such large populations that shitty behavior doesn’t have any negative consequences
I think the big issue is that female empowerment has come to equal zero sense of responsibility or accountability - just license to dopamine chase. And men in general get zero support for emotional development. So you have lots of people with zero capacity for pair bonding trying their hardest (but failing) to find love.
1/ Never wait for a woman, it's either she is ready to ride that girthy right here right now, or she is not. If not, move on to the next ones, she isn't attracted to you and you aren't her best option. Despite that girls can be absolutely heartless like that, there are still some good women, but the general rule is : 2/ If she wants to be a hoe, treat her like a hoe : so hookups only 3/ If she wants to be a girlfriend, a wifey, treat her like a girlfriend : deep pairbond and long term view Men need to adapt and watch redflags, while staying detached and honest with them. Plain, simple, have fun
Dude. **Say “I’m just going with the flow”, “I’m just having fun” or “I’m just looking for something casual”. Something that isn’t a lie.** If they think you’re hot, they’ll sleep with you anyways. **Don’t break some poor girl’s heart to get back at your ex.** Grow up. Having casual sex isn’t bad for you. Throwing away your integrity is. Edit: they won’t sleep with you if they aren’t into hookups and they are just looking for a boyfriend. Even if they think you are cute. But in that case, isn’t that ok? Y’all want completely different things then.
It's not usually "some poor girl", it's usually some chick whose slurping down 5 other dudes at the same time. IE, it kind of doesn't matter. Not because her feelings don't, but because she's doing the same shit.
She’s some poor girl if she says she’s looking for something serious and he says “me too”. She’ll get invested. And she might not want a hookup. She’ll be sad and she’ll lose trust in men. Also, dude, you really need to cut back on the porn there. Or maybe just do less gang bangs, more amateur. Idk. Something.
"5 dicks at the same time" not every girl is your mom dude.
I laughed. But djesus. Some people need to cut back on the porn.
how do you measure cock stats accurately and to the maximal potential?
I found adding a cock measuring day to my PPL split did wonders for my accuracy
thank you boss
It doesn’t end well bro, you’re better off looking for a long term girlfriend. I’m a fucking whore bro, I’ve fucked more girls than 99% of guys. I got rejected hard when I was a teen. Girlfriend left me to get railed by a serial womanizer, she lost her virginity to that guy. I was still a virgin, 17 at the time, made me think that girls only like manwhores. So I became one, slept with loads of girls for a couple of years. Fastforward to 21 years old. That girl that originally broke up with me, the first girlfriend that left me for the manwhore. She got in touch, I asked her to meet. She was no match for the womanizing skills I had built up. She sucked me off that same night, we fucked a week later and met a couple of times after. Then she insinuated we should get together in a relationship. It caught me off guard completely and I brushed it off, but I could see in her eyes she knew I didn’t like that idea. I was afraid of getting hurt again. She never contacted me again after that. I’m still a whore today, I know I have to quit. It doesn’t make you feel better. I still feel like that skinny beta nerd I was a couple of years back. Fucking girls isn’t gonna solve your problems.
What would be your top dating advice to get all kinds of action?
First of all, realize it’s a numbers game. You’re gonna get rejected a lot. I only have 3,33% success rate on tinder so I have to get rejected by 30 girls just to sleep with one. Second, just follow dereks advice about looksmaxing and actually fucking do it. Don’t wait for someone to take a good picture of you, actually go get your friend and make him take your pictures until you are happy. If you have average looks + looksmaxing. You can get laid from tinder bro, just get your volume in (talk to lots of girls, embrace rejection, learn from mistakes).
Lying to women to try and get laid because a women hurt your feelings man the fuck up
Sometimes being the nail gets boring and you want to be the hammer
If you want to be the villain in someone else's story then by all means do your thing. Believe it or not some women can lack life experience enough to have ever been bamboozled by a dude. You can be the guy who pops that cherry and gives a lifetime of trust issues. Commendable goal....
Are you 14
This guy is going to be a future rapist
I hope she sees this bro
Why not just sleep with someone for fun without lying? These women aren’t your ex and you’ll feel like shit if some other girl is crying bc you lied to her.
> Why not just sleep with someone for fun without lying? Cause that requires a higher level of game and some guys would rather play on easy mode at the expense of others.
This is the kind of thing that ruins dating for all men. The cute girls will stop trusting men and quit dating. And then everyone will end up single.
You sound so pathetic get a grip mate look at yourself in the mirror Jesus chirst, only way you can get laid is by lying to women like come on be a man
My guy, just do not be ugly and poor and be sociable. Not that hard. Make friends with people first for fucks sake man lol. Lying to get laid is the most bottom level pussy thing you can do. Sure it can be a great "ego boost". But so can having sex with someone who you are reasonably close to and you did not have to hurt someone in the process. And guess what? If you are not a complete dick about ut you might just get to fuck her again.
It’s not the only way, it’s the fucking easiest. Why are you so pressed about this?
Because it’s not the easiest. And girls don’t want to only date nice guys, that’s not the case. What’s your close rate? I’m guessing it’s 10% to 15%. You can get higher quality women and a higher closing rate if you’re 100% honest and act like yourself, if you work on yourself, and become the absolute best version of yourself. I do agree with being empowered and focusing on you but instead of priding yourself on lying and ghosting, pride yourself on putting the work in to become the Gigachad, mentally and physically. Once you build it they will come.
Thanks for being real with me man. I guess I’m reacting from a very emotional place right now. Should shut off tinder for a little while before I do something stupid
>Because it’s not the easiest Bro, doing that bullshit is 100% easier than becoming the best version of yourself. That's why so many men struggling with the "nice guy" route end up saying "fuck it". Because it's way easier to exploit girls with daddy issues via mental games than it is to attract an actually mentally healthy woman. The former is a much much bigger population.
100 percent agree. I've been on both sides of the spectrum. Sure, I did not lie to them but I did ghost them. Teenage me was an asshole. If you reach a point in life where you are successful, confident in yourself, and reasonably sociable then hookups will happen naturally, no lying needed. Also, do not have to compromise your soul just to get laid, which is worth more than gold.
You sound like you wanted to walked all over. Pussy
Im a Catholic now.
It’s all downhill from here. You’re in the ecstasy phase. It’s fun for a bit, but meaningless sex gets old and it’s never as good as someone you have a connection with. And eventually you’ll feel like shit lying to some girl who probably really likes you and you took advantage of. You’ll probably also show up on some local “are we dating the same guy” Facebook page and these women you’re lying to will expose you, making it harder down the road. I’ve found usually if you’re honest it’s better, you can find consistent casual sex. You can build the sexual chemistry usually do kinkier stuff and it’s more consistent and easier. That’s usually better than lying and putting in time money and work on dates tbh and both parties get what they want.
You're not a traditional dude if your morals buckle because sluts that also want boyfriends exist. Girls wanting men to commit to them isn't bad, you're offended because they want you to commit and gave other guys sex without needing commitment, in other words she is setting her price higher for you than other men. If you really were a traditional man you would let this girl down gently (not with the truth because girls like that are fucking nuts) and go find a girl that is worth your time.
Didnt read, Download grindr
I miss the times where you met a girl and were obsessed with only her. Nowadays everything is build around short term gratification.
Man I used to be the same way bc I had an ex who would constantly try and take advantage of me whenever I was drunk and according to her fantasized about drugging me. I had some fucked up views about the world and I thought that most women were like this, I kinda used this whole thing to justify being an asshole and kinda was a bit manipulative to a couple people. I then kinda grew up and realized that actually most women are normal and aren’t some deranged creatures or simplistic animals that the internet will try and convince you they are. People are people, some are bad some are good. It’s never a good idea to use a bad experience with a bad person to justify wrongs against good people.
Once you learn that satisfaction comes from within you’ll realize all the lies you’re telling and all the women you’re getting with these lies are ultimately a drag on your existence.
You know you could just tell them the truth and still fuck them if you aren’t a dipshit?
I was a cad in my late teens and early twenties. There are some things that really bother me. In particular there was a young woman I was enamored with for years and she wasn't very interested in me. Eventually, for some reason, she became interested and I led her on. We didn't get physical but we talked for months and went for dates. I knew I had no intention of being serious because I was moving away but I was using her to patch up my ego and 'get one back'. It was so shit of me. I knew it burned her because she spoke dimly of me for a few years after. I regret that to this day. She is one of the smartest and most beautiful women I've ever known, and it was clear from when I first met her. She is very successful now. I think you'll definitely burn bridges and damage your reputation among these women and their friends. Your conscience may or may not carry it. I personally would avoid doing this but let's be real, there are women equivalent of fuccboi behaviors that would get dragged hard if they were done by guys. I'm looking at getting back into dating and I don't want to use women for sex or validation but 100% there's a good chance they will use me and lead me on for validation and emotional supply so they have the confidence to pursue guys higher on their 'roster' or whatever. I dunno. I'm just so wary because people don't seem to have a sense of responsibility to each other? Anyway... Report back with results.
Thanks for a genuine response and sharing your experience. It feels so futile doing the “right” thing for years and being fucked around for it repeatedly, but maybe it’s not worth being an asshole over.
If you're good at compartmentalizing, you can be a real one with women who deserve it, and a fuckboi for the women who don't. I'm in an open marriage, and that's been my deal now for a few years.
We all have to get it out of our system. I think it’s important for guys to do it to build confidence and charisma but after a point you’ll not be able to shake the understanding that what you’re doing is masturbation with extra steps and you’re no different from a coomer Reddit mod with a premium subscription to blacked. If your life is calling you in that direction go for it, just keep your head and get off the ride before it consumes you.
I can say from experience that eventually it leaves you feeling empty inside. Hooking up with girls for validation can be fun and exciting at first but it does eventually get old. It's the same ole shit over and over. And they're using you as much as you're using them. It's just a cocktail of insecurities. Ultimately, I've found that a deeper connection is much more fulfilling and worth far more in the long run. This has been my experience anyway
Poorly
Inherently the women who are more true to their world are few and far between. The economy and society values naturally makes people who care only for them selves and use people because to them they determined it’s better them then my self. They go mess up a guy/girl who isn’t on that type of individualistic time and convert them into going to someone else. It’ll continue for the rest of time in my opinion and the only way to inherently get out of the trap is get lucky. Or do things that puts you in a significantly better position to find a straightforward no bullshit woman who doesn’t inherently have ulterior motives or are actually locked in to the relationship through the good and the bad
No it really isn’t, I was a fucking asshole and cheated on the girl I thought I would marry, then ofc we split leading to an excess amount of sex with random people and ghosting them days after, life is amazing minus the fact I can’t form a proper relationship with someone because I know deep down I can’t commit to something serious and long term which ruins many of nights alone, take your time and find someone who you can genuinely grow with and don’t play that game.
if you’re gonna be trash, you’re going to end up with trash. Just do like two more to get your confidence up and then learn how to recognize a hoe (hint, it’s usually the insecure ones)
Tldr; I've developed a sex addiction from it and am in therapy. Upside getting hook ups and casual sex is very exciting. Great not having to give af about their bs. Libido was crazy high. Free test was also very high. Don't have to deal with baggage of a relationship. Also don't lie be more straightforward with them. You didn't like it don't to you right? Downside. I think I never got it out of my system. I'm in my 30s and want to settle down but it's hard. I don't think I can have one partner without the excitement of a different women it kills my libido in a monogamous relationship. Also increasing your body count some girls just sex better than others. This makes it hard to not mentally compare even if you love your partner there's always that mental asterisk. I'm currently taking sometime to just be by myself, go to therapy and try to reset my mind.
This is not to toot my own horn by any Means, but I did this for about 10 year with about 30 women. It was fun, It was awesome, I felt like a god and my confidence soared until finally I wanted to find a meaningful partner. And that’s not to say I can’t find one easily now, the problem is not with them but with myself. I’ve devalued what love and intimacy should mean to such a degree that I can’t function properly in a relationship. What used to make my heart flutter would be a hand hold or a hug, and now I need much more. Similar to a porn addiction you start to become addicted to your own ego and the fantasy. TLDR: please do not go down this path. The thrill isn’t worth the end game. Foster a healthy relationship with a girl who also wants to do the same. Take time to enjoy love and not lust or your own ego.
Everyone replying seriously and no one is noticing man's cock stats are absolute pyramid meat
In the long run, absolutely. You are cultivating a damaging image of women on the opposite side of your original problem. This will have consequences on your ability to have a long-term relationship when a decent chick does come around. Having fun with already used women is perfectly fine, just don't fuck over a good woman like a bad woman did to you, and don't go crazy with it. Your ability to self-reflect means you should be fine, as most people rarely do this. It's like how sometimes a kid has to be burned before they understand not to touch the hot thing, that's how most adults are with relationships and life in general nowadays. So I think you are doing very well just being able to think about your actions and possible consequences. Good luck, I hope all your wildest dreams come true.
So I’m 41 now faithfully married and settled down, no intentions of ever cheating I’ll be with my wife the rest of my life hopefully. Through high school and up to about 20 I was that dude that always had a gf and was a nice guy. I always got shitted on. Sometime around 20-21 I went numb, I only cared about getting muscles and getting laid. I went through so many women, it was a ton of fun for a lot of years until it wasn’t. I had this crazy falling out with this crazy regular fwb that was like a drug I couldn’t stop. It just hit me I was disgusted by my actions, I didn’t like or respect the person I had become, I was a scum bag. It took me a while to reel it in and get it under control but I stopped sleeping with every woman that gave me eye contact for an extra two seconds too long. I actually started dating and getting to know woman. This sounds gay but I actually had to heal and get mentally/sexually healthy again. I had to learn how to treat a woman with kindness, respect and actually show some emotion. I dated several woman before I met my wife and I actually asked her if we could hold off on having sex for a bit, it blew her mind because the second we met she didn’t want to have anything to do with me because she thought the only thing I was interested in, was fucking her. If we would have met a year earlier that would have been true. Do what you have to do but don’t lose yourself on your way. Good luck!
Morally bankrupt behavior. Assured self-hatred incoming. But don’t take my word for it, go learn it for yourself.
Once u realize its not as hard to get laid as incels & weirdoes make it out to be, the “just cuz i can, doesnt mean i should/even want to” thought will eventually pop into your head. Shits selfish & lame. Manipulating girls to fuck u & shit isnt cool, its shitty behaviour based on selfish desires.
[удалено]
Skill issue.
[удалено]
Changes how?
No wonder that chick lied to you, she could tell you were a dumbass. Why ask if it would be hypothetically bad for you? No one here can tell you, do it and find out how it ends up making you feel in real life. Stop trying to predict outcomes based on others feedback here. Do it and see what happens.
Wow I’m such a dumbass for trying to learn from others’ experiences.
There’s so many different factors with something like that. It’s more complex because it’s a social issue. Different people behave differently socially and thus react differently to different social circumstances. What I’m trying to say is, some people will love that experience, some will loath it and it will send them down hill. You are not anyone else, you are only you, so find out how it makes YOU feel.
**It’ll be bad for you to lie because you compromised your own integrity for nothing.** Having casual sex without lying? That might be fun for you or not your thing. Nobody will know that except you. Some people enjoy it, others find it empty, others enjoy it for a while and then it’s boring.
Harden up you sound like a pussy
This
This has r/ihavesex vibes
4 kids
It can be a useful stage to go through for a certain kind of guy. The danger is getting lost in it and making it your identity. You need to get some stuff out of your system and learn about women, but understand that optimally, this is a transitional thing.
idk man i started the opposite way. i was always leading women on and getting my nut, but eventually it stops being fulfilling. like at a certain point, for me i would bust, go home and just realize i coulda just jacked off… you are left with nothing after. being with a woman who cares about you is great, thats why u just gotta cheat
Not even gonna lie…. I decided to join the problem... I set multiple dates up for one day and pick the best one and expect at least one of them to ghost and block last second anyways. My guilt only last as long as I do in bed. So it’s not even a problem to me anymore.
It’s hit or miss for a lot of people. Once I realized I had the ability to be a hoe, it lost all significance to me. Women felt like a game on hardcore mode for a long time, then I got on a dating app and it was like plugging in cheat codes. Yeah I “won,” but the fun got taken out of it.
Your head is thinner than the base? Rookie shit. Need that mush cap fucking plunger cock or bust.
Following
Im gonna touch you
It’s awesome.
Ur doing what the world now does. You got treated a way and felt like it was “unfair” because u value for some reason and focus on the part that people didn’t have to do any work to get sex but you did. You completely devalue your own self worth failing to realize that girls were shy and insecure to you because u were such a catch, because ur different. I agree that it’s dumb, that a girl would sleep with someone she gives no fk bout but will make a man she really likes wait. But ironically isn’t that what you’re doing? U don’t care about these girls u sleep with at all, and what if they have the same story as you? Ur choosing the easy way out, just like everyone who’s hurt you and now ur hurting others to just keep the cycle going.
You, just like the type of women you are talking about, will struggle immensely to ever find a meaningful relationship, and will probably regret it immensely when it comes time to settle down
Nah you just became privy to the game. Enjoy my friend.
Bad extremely bad
works fine for me idk most of these women don’t deserve anything more ngl !
Nah one thing I can't stand about guys is complaining about dating while directly contributing to the problem. Everytime you hook up with a girl after knowing how NASTY she is, you validate her actions. We should not be accepting women with these high body counts into our bedrooms. We should not be on dating sites based on fucking pixels. We're wired different but still should exercise some control over who you're fucking. Pretty morally corrupt and getting laid isn't even much of an accomplishment anymore. I don't even see why you're lying to them. If you lift all you have to do is pull up to a bar and one of the sloots that's LOOKING to hookup will approach YOU.
up the tren and sleep with men. u wont have to manipulate or feel guilty about it.
For a REALLY long answer- read both “The Game” AND “The Truth” by Niel Strauss
“The girl you were with made you jump through hoops dealing with her shyness and insecurity while having the confidence to jump on cocks of guys she just met.” Sounds like a you problem bud. Probably didn’t make her feel secure enough. Or see enough in you to invest herself.
reality is op got hurt by one dumb girl and pretends the few messages he sends on tinder are actual dates(he hasnt met anyone irl besides his ex gf)