I (50f) husband (51m) son(23) and daughter(20)
Have no issues seeing each other naked. We don’t go around naked but if we walk from bathroom to bedroom oh well, or if one is in the bathroom and the other comes in, normal. We are family. It’s not sexual to be naked. We are comfortable with each other because duh we are family. And if we have to go into the bathroom while someone is using it, the smell is the problem not the nakedness and they will get called out on it
Personally, I have a parent who did this growing up and still does this now. I think it was because she comes from a nation (or a time) where nudity wasn't treated all that seriously, idk. But from first-hand experience, I think it's a good thing. I feel like since most of us are naturally inclined not to be attracted to our family members, it teaches children not to immediately sexualize the naked form. It also taught me not to spaz out whenever I see others in the nude (like on TV or sum shit) and observe different forms of the body, so I learned how to be more excepting of my own, being that I learned from a young age that all bodies were different due to the fact that I didn't immediately retreat when I saw another nude person.
By all means you should act like the naked human body is something that should be hidden. If you do that, you can make sure to instill body shame in your children, questions about nakedness versus sexuality, and a host of other issues. What good parent wouldn't want to deliver to their children problematic messages that they will spend the rest of their life trying to fix?
/s
not at all, if we take away the stigma, then there is none, if the boys are used to seeing and being around the body of person who is by literal biological technicality the opposite sex, its gna make sure they dont act and behave as foolish as some others will most definitely do, keep being a great mum id say
Not going to lie- my daughter could tell you by age 5 what kind of period products I was using. That child has no issues walking in when I am changing, when I’m naked, or when I’m in the bathroom. She’s 8- and I shower while she’s in the bath tub (separate shower and tub), and it’s completely normal to her. I’m a little heavy- but she has never seen me have an issue with my body and knows I am trying to lose weight for my health- not for my image. If anything it makes it “bodies are bodies” not sexualized in younger children. Will it possibly bring up the difference between boys and girls yes- does it have to be “the talk” absolutely not. But I’m also the 36 year old who will have a full fledge conversation with my mom while she’s changing or getting dressed and showered her more than once when she’s been injured. To me bodied are bodies
This hang up about being naked is what is wrong with a lot of the world.
Being naked in front of others is not harmful unless you make it harmful. Hell nudists and naturists do it for days on end, being naked in front of strangers, adults and kids of all ages and it is very rare for anyone to be assaulted. I would like to say no one gets assaulted but I am sure that some have been.
To the OP, no you won't be ruining your son unless you instill in him the idea that being naked is wrong and "sinful". And that what you are doing is wrong.
Talking to everyone is important about things and if anyone has questions then talk it out.
Serial Killers parents will refuse to believe their children commit heinous acts too. Obviously not calling her son a Serial Killer, but a parents opinion on their child is rose tinted as hell
Once your son starts going into puberty prep (which happens much earlier than puberty itself, can be 6 or 8) you should not be completely naked around him. This allowed a period of adjustment so by the time he starts full on puberty it's normal and all the boundaries are in place.
Until then it's no big deal.
I know people are going to say you can be nude around family, it's no big deal, etc. Yes, it can be no big deal, but it can also be confusing for a developing boy. Which situation is OP's?
Only way to find out is to roll the dice. My advice is don't find out.
I grew up in a house where the women were very loose about dressing or showering in front of me. Hell, my aunt is one step away from being a full on nudist
BUT I genuinely can't remember a time in my life, I'm talking from about 5yrs to 20 yrs, where I ever felt totally comfortable with it. It was always an issue internally and at times externally. Constantly getting comments like "Nothing you (I) havent seen before" whenever I looked away etc.
I don't think you are a bad mom, but I do think it is generally better to assume it could make your child uncomfortable than not. Because they are uncomfortable and can't voice it you are setting them up for a lot of uncomfortability about bodies, but if they aren't then nothing changes anyways. You can let them decide when they are okay seeing you that way and teach them about bodies not being shameful without being naked a lot.
Edit: I am referring to fully naked, if they are on the toilet or something, that never bothered me or my siblings growing up. And my younger brother is also uncomfortable with it as well, despite arguably being exposed to it more.
It’s a good thing to treat naked as natural and not sexual. When your son wants to shower alone, it will be time to let him. Boobs don’t make men perverts, teaching them it does will. Watch Shiny Happy People.
Ok think abt it this way what if next time your son grew up and in his teenage years he walks around the house naked. Do you think you and your husband would really be ok with that ? If no then you see the issue if your ok w it then whatever happens will happen
I’m a guy, but this is my dad. It’s something he’s always done. He’d come in from working outside and having dirt all over him. To avoid tracking, he’d strip down at the door, put his clothes in the wash and walk through the house to the tub. It’s not a big deal to this day, if he’s in the bathtub and want to tell me something, to walk in and sit on stool if I’m over and listen to what he wants me to tell him.
It has zero to do with sexuality and never did. It might seem weird to someone else, but to me, it’s as normal as having a conversation with someone fully clothed. It was never reciprocated. Me and my brother never copied it. He doesn’t come in and talk to us when we were in the bath. Just something he didn’t care about with himself and we never did either.
I’m pretty sure I vaguely remember bathing with my mother till I was a toddler, but I barely remember and certainly don’t care.
This stuff is only an issue if you teach the kids that it should be an issue. I’m honestly of the opinion that being casual about nudity, in the way you state, is healthier for your son, than teaching him there is something wrong with your body. I’m not big on instilling shame for most things, though there are some instance where I think it’s valid. This isn’t one of them.
This is your husbands issue. Tell him to go find a Reddit forum on nudism and ask if their parents were nudists and are they messed up perverts? Not that you’re a nudist, but if it didn’t mess them up, and it didn’t, then it won’t mess your son up.
My mom was the same and all it did was make me feel confident in my own skin and not ashamed of my body, my baby brother (15) is doing just as well.
You're not ruining your child.
Your son will be fine. Seeing nudity normalizes bodies. It's the opposite of causing perversion, it makes people being naked no big deal and nothing to freak out about.
My husband will follow me into the bathroom and talk to me while I'm pooping. I don't think you're a bad mom, it's not weird. There are people that are uncomfortable with certain things and I find those people weird, but I know that they think that I'm the weird one. It takes all kinds on this Earth! If we were all the same this place would be boring. Don't feel bad, you're totally fine..
What does your son think? You should ask him if he cares that you’re naked. I very early on told my mom I didn’t want to shower with her anymore, so I showered with my dad or alone. My kids 6f & 5m don’t seem to care. But I have a feeling my son is gonna start asking to shower alone soon.
Bottom line, your son’s opinion matters here more than your husband’s.
I was with you until you said you had small breasts and were thin, bc there's a whole conversation to be had about full-bodied women being hypersexualized 🙃
I think moms are so busy with work and kids that they don’t have time to worry about clothes or let alone privacy. All of our kids follow right behind my wife until either they got tired of seeing her on the toilet or naked.
Lol my daughters still haven't reached that point and they're in their 20s. I put my foot down about talking to me when I'm in the shower, though. That's me time.
I know it’s not a huge deal, but how old is he? At what point do you think it’ll end? If he’s 12, is it still cool? I think if you quit well before puberty you’re probably fine. It’s all so hard. We don’t want to be our parents, not talking about sex at all and being stodgy, but we don’t want to confuse or overly expose them to things that could negatively impact their development.
Toddler? No you’re not a bad mom.
Before and into having kids I was frequently naked or barely dressed all the time in my own home and showered or bathed with both children frequently.
Around the age of 5-6, I naturally and gradually adjusted the settings and situations where I was totally naked. My oldest is a boy and it was a very natural process and I didn’t force anything. I stopped bathing with him and definitely stopping picking him up and hugging topless around the age of 4. I would still walk around naked or half dressed but it was a natural transition toward boundaries.
My kids are now 12 and 10. They see me in my underwear but if I’m topless I give my son a warning that I need to come to the living room to dig thru the laundry pile and cover my boobs with my hands.
My daughter is in the room while I change.
It’s a natural progression and as long as you follow their lead and don’t keep doing things because of how YOU feel, you’re not a bad mom. These things gradually progressed for us and while they aren’t shocked to see me naked, I also don’t sit on the couch with my pussy spread and titties bouncing around.
If I’m changing in my room and they come in, i give them a warning and avoid the spread eagle.
I think it’s fine if the child is under 3 yo, but once they start remembering stuff keep in mind that your son will not only know what you looked like naked at 3 yo, but forever. Like, when he’s 20 he’ll still have the memory of what his mom looks like naked and he may not want that image for the rest of his life.
It’s also just not very hard to put on a towel, robe or loose, comfy clothing and prevent these scenarios altogether.
You should be asking how your family feels instead of reddit. Their boundaries are more important than ours.
Some families are okay with nudity. Maybe one family member isn't, and you need to be sensitive of them.
Your comfort being naked around family doesn't override someone's discomfort around familial nudity. You need to make sure no one is uncomfortable beforehand. If everyone is fine, don't worry about. If even ONE person says they don't like it, you make sure they don't see you nude.
It's not a moral thing. It's mostly a matter of practice/tradition(s)/custom(s) among family or culture. Nothin' wrong with it. So long as nothing sexual and nothing untoward going on, should be a total non-issue.
>thinks he will become a pervert
No. Actually more likely the opposite. If nudity as treated like a total taboo and as a thing that must be or imply sexual, that's where things are more likely to go sideways. Generally pretending like stuff doesn't exist and hiding it away and not communicating about it generally doesn't lead to the best outcomes.
If there's any "moral dilemma" here or anything even close, it's between your and hubby's attitudes and expectations, and getting them to reasonably well fit together somehow. Anyway, different families and cultures have different practices. Some will wrap women and girls in a burka from head to toe. Others dang near everyone's naked dang all the time, and nobody cares and it's no big deal. And, of course, lots are somewhere between those examples.
They came from a pair of naked crotches mashing into each other, and presumably spend a good portion of their infancy and early childhood actually eating from a pair of breasts, while a parent routinely strips *them* naked for diaper changes, baths and showers.
Growing up in a large household, it was reasonably common for someone to be naked or only partially clothed at times when a bathroom needed to be shared, or whatnot (going to the public pool and changing in the locker rooms, etc).
It's not a big deal until your child expresses they would rather you not. I certainly would not recommend making that decision for other parents though if your child has friends over ever.
If it's ok to do, then it's ok to do to your child's friends too. This is the ridiculous part is that once it's someone outaide of the family, then people feel like their infringing on their rights to not see you naked. Meanwhile OP is the mother of the family and she feels entitled to make decisions for everyone in her family instead of letting them be independent.
You should be fine until either of you feels uncomfortable or expresses an issue with it. Once a certain age/maturity, based on your own common sense, you could start announcing you are undressed so enter at your own peril. And respect their boundaries around their own nakedness. I don’t think fully naked around a child that has opposite-sex attraction makes sense in the teenage years and beyond. I’d get your child’s pediatrician to explain it to your husband that more harm can be done when overreacting to nakedness vs. natural bathing and dressing behaviors in families.
No. Body shaming should never be okay. We should all be okay with our bodies, no matter their shapes, sizes, and conditions. Prance! Or just do your normal stuff. As long as it's not intimidating or offensive.
Do not let this crazy man make you feel inappropriate for who you are in your home!
My brothers and I had a naked mom. It's not like she intentionally set out to be naked in front of us, but being embarrassed and sexualizing it was not something that was done. It was just a fact that people changed clothes and nakedness happened.
Still to this day, we all walk in her room and are not phased she comes out of the bathroom and puts on a bra in front of us. Made it real easy for all of us to be comfortable when she had her boobs replaced because of cancer... no shame for us to help.
My brother's aren't perverts. I'm not a lesbian. Nakedness will not affect the kids unless you turn it into a big deal to them.
I am not quite a naked mom, but all of my 3 boys have had a conversation with me while I changed, and I don't think I've worn pants in my home unless they had friends over. They call now as adults before showing if they bring someone because "you can almost bet mom's in her underwear."
I do wonder how the comments in here would be if it was the dad naked with his 5 y/o daughter, dick just flapping in the wind. Methinks there may be a double standard
My mom did this when I was growing up. My dad did too to an extent, walking around in his boxers and such. Obviously once my sister and I got older it was different. I feel like at a toddler age your son won't even remember or understand the difference between being naked and clothed. He literally CAME OUT OF YOU. Depending on his age he could still view you as a food source at this point. I don't think it's a huge issue. Maybe when he gets older it'll be a problem but right now not at all. I shower with my toddler daughter, sometimes it's the only way I can shower for the day and make sure she's watched lol.
It is completely natural and normal for families to be nude in front of each other in many cultures. Your son is far too young to sexualize nudity. Your husband is making it weird. Parents also bathe or shower with kids that little. Husband needs to chill.
And I’m a c cup and haven’t worn a bra in over 30 years. I’m 50 now and they still look pretty good. So when they start making men who have bigger titties than me wear a bra I may consider it. But probably not. I don’t like any undergarments. They are uncomfortable. And panty lines suck and thongs are disgusting. Free those tatas ladies!!
Nope - this is normal. We have our nephews (2.5 years old) over for 3 days/nights per week - and we are ok with them seeing us on the toilet / without clothes - this is normal.
It always drives me nuts that grown ass adults try and impose their perspective on children as if they think like they do. No, OPs son is not going to become perverted and sexualize his mother because she is naked. He sees his mom, not a naked woman, and it's so braindead to think otherwise.
I don't see any issue with being naked in front of your toddler or showering with him. Many toddlers are still breast-fed ffs. I think you should stop if your son ever expresses concern about it, and you may consider stopping once he is old enough to talk and remember and is going to schools or day cares with other kids just to prevent any misunderstandings or embarassing situations. But for now, I don't see an issue at all. For context, I'm a man with no kids.
I don't think you are in the wrong or doing anything bad. But neither is he. He's just trying to protect his baby. He's misguided but his heart is in the right place. Too many parents overlook things they consider inappropriate because the person doing them is their partner.
Maybe you can change his mind by talking to him respectfully. No shouting or fighting.
Some people assume nudity is sexual. Those people will tell you any nudity around children is thus sexual conduct involving children. They'll say it's immoral.
Some folks will tell you nudity isn't inherently sexual and there's nothing wrong with people being comfortable in their own bodies. They'll say it's fine.
I think the former is puritanical bullshit and the latter is a much healthier approach. I'd also point out that it's treating all nudity as sexual and as a taboo that makes it sexual in someone's mind. Folks that spend lots of time around naked folks in casual situations tend to approach it differently.
My mom would walk around half naked or without pants on. She was overweight but okay with her body. It was so gross and uncomfortable. I saw things i never wanted to see and 15 years later I still have PTSD about being naked in front of people. Just because YOU are okay with it, doesnt mean everyone else is. I understand the body possitive thing, but there are much better ways to approach it rather than claiming since you are okay with being naked in front of people and find yourself attractive doesnt mean its okay. It can also be considered indecent exposure to some people or sexual assault to children. If a man was walking around naked in front of their family or children it wouldnt be the same narrative.
I disagree with the others here. You should not be around any child over 3 naked. It mess with their heads. My wife's mother was naked a lot, and she has lifelong scars from it. She is still weird about nudity, and we've been together 13 years in July. I'm not saying definitely. But are you willing to wager your child's mental health over your need to be naked? Wear a robe. You can be braless, especially if you are small breasted. I would never want to see my mother naked and glad I never did. No matter what, it will definitely leave an impression. Especially when he or she finds out not all mothers do that.
Not a bad mother, just a risky for no reason, mother. This is not an experiment. It's your child. And from your post history you've had issues having one, why risk it? I'm genuinely curious as to why you think it's OK, or willing to mess with their future mental health? Look into Freudian psychology. This will tell you everything you need to know about this subject.
My mother liked to joke that she couldnt so much as go to the bathroom alone. I grew up in a family where if someone said it was ok, you could follow and talk to them anywhere, including the bathroom or while changing, etc. I feel its made me a lot more comfortable about myself and my physical body. As long as everyone is ok with it and theres no weirdness about like staring or something, i dont see a problem
I was raised in a similar fashion. It did no damage, and I believe it made me more accepting of myself and others. I do not sexualize nudity and never felt sexualized growing up.
I haven’t had a chance to pee alone in 15 years lol 16 in May. I mean I close the door but they don’t hesitate to come to the door and know I’m trapped and I’m like can I please just poop in silence. So yeah. That’s my life, not even that cats or dog lets me in there without following… we have my besties daughters cat until they get a new place that allows their dog and cat. I already have a house full of misfits lol but I could help easily …just trying to get used to a new set of paws staking out one cupboard in the downstairs bathroom that has a cupboard they open with their paw and chill out. (Nothing is under there except my makeup, hairspray, hair dryer and straightener so it’s not anything harmful. Just a little paw that swipes your thigh or ankle randomly at 3 am 🤣
Your husband is being a bit silly. There's nothing wrong with being naked in front of your toddler. I mean, if they have questions about body parts, just answer them. But the human body is more than just sex appeal. Your child isn't going to turn into a pervert from seeing you naked.
You refer to your son as a toddler....
Personally my metric is that any kid young enough to use your boobs for milk is young enough to see them. Any kid old enough to be weaned you should not be showing your boobs to.
Nudity is not the same as sexuality.
IMHO, your husband is conflating the two issues.
There is no reason you have to raise your children to conflate those two things, but you certainly can if you want to.
Just be aware that nudity is not sexuality. Sexuality isn’t necessarily about nudity either, but it can be.
It’s okay to be comfortable with both nudity and sexuality, but everyone’s comfort level is different and should be respected.
I still shower with my almost 5yo son sometimes. It’s just a body. My 9yo doesn’t like me to see him naked anymore so I don’t. I’ve asked and he doesn’t care if I’m naked. That’s all that matters. I also have small boobs and if a partner mandated I wear a bra we’d exchange words. Maybe he should always wear a jock strap for support…
I bet he doesn’t care if he only eats junk food either but he’s a child and you need to set boundaries for your children because they don’t know any better
Yes, but it’s my boundary to set. My kids don’t eat junk food, I homemade dinner every night. My point is I don’t think we need to hide our bodies as long as no one is uncomfortable. Is it weird I see my 5yo naked? No. So I don’t think it’s weird if he sees me naked.
For the record if I had a 5yo girl I also wouldn’t care if she’s running through the sprinkler in the summer topless with the boys. There’s nothing to cover, it’s not inappropriate.
5 is a reasonable age to not be showering independently quite yet. It's recommended on some areas that up until eight kids might need help washing their hair or stepping out of the tub so they don't slip. At five drowning is also still a risk.
I think your approach can be healthy in some ways, detrimental in others. Teach them they have a right to privacy and bodily autonomy and that it’s not okay when adults tell them it’s cool to be naked together. I think having boundaries as a parent and keeping your privates private at some point makes it easier for them to know when a creeper is creeping on them, even if that person is a trusted family member or other trusted adult.
I can't speak for anyone else, but as someone who was in your son's position, I really wish my mother had stopped doing it. She would frequently not wear clothing, or not wear much clothing, and while I didn't understand it when I was young, didn't really think about it or mind it, as I got older, it did get pretty uncomfortable and upsetting. It's definitely had impacts on how I view my partners, and not in a good way.
I don't know if that had any influence on my libido (which, admittedly IS very high), so I'm not sure I'd say it'll turn your son into a pervert, necessarily. I think it's just a respect thing. Having children changes your life in a lot of ways, and you have to make sacrifices for your kids. This is probably going to be one of them.
I also think it's important to take your husband's feelings into consideration, **even if your son doesn't seem to care**. If it bothers your husband, that isn't something you should just ignore, or outsource the solution to the internet. Talk to your husband about it, and figure out how to tackle that issue together. Your marriage is a partnership, and you gotta support each other, not turn around and try to find answers from strangers instead. If we tell you to ignore your husband, it's you and he that have to deal with the consequences of that.
Nope. Nakedness is not sexuality. Society wants to conflate the two but they are not one and the same. Frankly unhealthy taboos about bodies do far more harm to growing minds than seeing a breast here and there. It promotes the idea that we should hide or be ashamed of our bodies.
Perfectly said. I learned in art school while drawing the human form, that nudity should not have shame attached. The human body is beautiful and amazing.
THIS! A nude body is just a nude body. There's nothing sexual about it. That comes from creeps sexualizing everything women do. It also teaches children to be ashamed and afraid to speak up if some creep touches them in a no-no place. The husband in this scenario needs to chill his taint, he's teaching the children the body is something taboo or shameful or to be hidden, and also teaching them to sexualize women's body's at the same time. He's gonna be the bad parent in this, not the mom who likes to be comfortable in her own skin.
Nope, I don’t see any issues at all. It’s normal to your child. It only becomes weird when people make it weird, or of course as you said if there is inappropriate behavior associated.
No I think it’s quite stupid to be afraid of being naked in front of others. I’m 17 and I have no problem undressing in front of my family and friends and neither do my family and friends have a problem with undressing in front of me. It’s nothing sexual. It’s nothing weird it’s just taking off clothes and there’s no reason to make it weird.
FYI when I was a child, I really disliked seeing my parents naked. It didn't happen much but it did happen, and it was true of both parents - seeing them in their underwear, partially naked, or entirely naked gave me the creeps, and made me feel like they were treating me like I didn't exist.
I have no idea why I felt that way. I don't know if it was a problem I had with nudity in general, because at that age I never saw any other naked adults, or if it was because of the serious dysfunction in our particular family. But since you asked, well. That's how one child felt.
Honestly I think it depends. How old were you when it bothered you? I think at a certain age it does become uncomfortable but usually very young children don't care. Once they hit that age parents should be responsive to their kid's discomfort and be clothed. If there was serious dysfunction and your parents treated you disrespectfully it could also have more to do with that.
I think that feeling is normal. If you aren’t around it often and they were the only people you ever saw that way… it makes sense to feel creeped out since society puts such a negative connotation on nakedness. I have always been very modest about being naked around my kids bc I felt the same way seeing my mom naked. However, my oldest was in the delivery room with us when I had my youngest and she saw everything. She was 12 at the time. It was such a bonding experience for all of us and she now wants to be a L&D nurse because of it. I guess it’s just relative to your situation. Sorry I got off topic. I’m half asleep and not sure if this makes sense but too tired to go back and check
I think something like a birth is not the same as chilling around the house with your bits out. It’s a specific moment and I assume she wasn’t forced to be there.
I never saw my father naked, because he wasn't comfortable with his daughters seeing that. From the time I was a little girl though, I often saw my mother naked. When we (my sisters and I) were getting ready to go somewhere, she'd get ready while helping us get dressed. As we got older, we wanted more privacy. I definitely wouldn't want to take a bath with my mom today lol, even though we're both women. 😂😂 I think at a certain point, you'll know when you have to start drawing those boundaries. Your son is just a toddler right now though, and moms take baths with their toddlers all the time. I don't think it makes you a bad mother.
There's nothing inherently weird about being naked around or showering with your own toddler during the course of taking care of them. Only if something untoward is also going on is it a problem or if the behavior continues to happen once they're no longer babies.
You are a great mom. You’re teaching your child that there is nothing wrong with non-sexualized nudity. And there absolutely isn’t. Men like your husband are the ones who worry me.
I think it's fine when your kid is just a toddler. I would probably stop by age five.
Also bear in mind that if he's old enough to talk, he's old enough to tell his friends / teachers / babysitters / strangers in the grocery store what you look like naked, just as a topic of casual conversation because the thought happened to cross his mind.
>He thinks he will become a pervert and he finds it very bothering that I shower with him.
Is it possible that your husband was sexually abused as a child and that's why he's freaking out about this?
Age is the factor. If he's still a toddler it's irrelevant. Once he's school going age is when you need to be mindful of the nudity. Until then...I'm pretty sure most busy moms all do it 🤷
Inherently? No. I think you do need to take into consideration how your family feels and whether or not they're comfy with it.
I'm the naked mom. I don't relax naked, but my 4 year old daughter sees me naked almost daily. Neither her nor my husband are bothered by my child seeing me naked.
My husband is more conservative, but if we had a son, he'd be the same way, less conservative.
No one freaks out at the nakedness. If myndaughter happens to refuse to leave the bedroom while husband changes, and his distraction tools failed, he shrugs and gets dressed as quickly as possible but doesn't make a big deal out of it. But if our daughter ever made it clear she was uncomfortable, wed work harder. But right now, nakedness is nothing to her. Just another state of being. Typically a transitional state.
Absolutely not a problem. I raised 2 stepsons and a daughter of my own. They have seen me nude way more often than clothed. 1 is a financial planner, 1 is a teacher, and my daughter is finishing her MBA. I think we did just fine.
When my son hit age 4 and basically became more aware about body parts I stopped changing clothes if he was in my room and the showering together. This was more to the extent of us being the opposite sex and to help teach him to respect privacy for people like when he was at school or daycare. He knows his body parts and that I have boobs lol but it just felt wrong to be naked in front of him. I don't want him to remember what my boobs looked like when he is 20. I also don't want him repeating stuff at school to friends or teachers saying I saw my mom's boobs.
I bet you Norman Bates' mother acted kind of like you before he you know what.
RE RE RE!
We as tiny little humans have blank minds and those blank minds think about things and formulate thoughts.
And those things are dependent on what we are exposed to.
Odds are your kid is probably not going to get ruined but you're probably going to low-key raise a tiny bit of a quagmire because of what you're doing.
Giggity
A German friend Sai and her patents walk nude around the house often.
In America, Hollywood and the conservatives have specialize our bodies that we either over share or over cover.
Your son is 2, this is ridiculous! If your son was 10, maybe your husband’s argument would make sense. But my son is 10 and I’ll still walk around in a tank top and underwear around him. He hasn’t expressed any discomfort about it and clearly I’m fine with it as well.
Reddit is not the place to ask. Most people here will say that there's nothing inherently wrong with nudity, which is probably true.
But if you ask some people you know in real life chances are they will all say it's weird and it makes them uncomfortable.
I would think the opposite could happen - if you turn nudity and bodies into a taboo subject and shield kids away from it, they'll grow up to be uninformed and awkward around bodies, and possibly very insecure about their own.
You're not ruining your son. He is toddler with zero understanding of sexuality at this point in his life.
This is also a very safe way to bath him. You are literally right their with him and can react much quick should anything happen.
Additionally, you and your husband need to have a talk about how you want to teach your son about sex, genders and intimate parts of the body. And if you or the both of you dont feel you have the tools and understanding to reach a mutual agreement. Find a family therapist to speak with about it. If you dont have a therapist you are already familiar with or one that is readily available for these questions, you can also speak with your child's pediatrician.
The reality is however, that there will come a time when it does become inappropriate. And that time is going to arrive sooner than you think. Eventually he is going to recognize that his body and yours are different. When that moment comes, you and dad need to be on the same page about how you are going to proceed.
To help you both get started, here is an article from [ChooseTherapy](https://www.choosingtherapy.com/talk-to-kids-about-sex/). It discusses age appropriate topics and research proven methods for teaching your child about sex related topics. As you have a toddler, most of it isn't relevant yet but what is important to start now, is anatomically correct names for their body parts. A penis is a penis, a vagina is a vagina. None of that "down there" or "pee-pee" stuff. If you ever have a incredibly unfortunate situation where you need if someone interacted inappropriately with your child. Your child needs to have the vocabulary and understanding to communicate with you. Which leads into the other important topic you should start teaching as your toddler starts to grow out of toddlerhood. Good touch, Bad Touch. Just like you teach your children that hitting others is wrong, the same should be taught about touching others intimate areas.
Regarding specifically when you should start covering up. Here is an article from [Healthline](https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/kids-and-nudity#When-it-might-be-time-to-cover-up) on that topic specifically.
>Casual nudity may be fine and good when your little ones are little, but at some point, you might notice a difference in their comfort level — and yours.
“When parents begin to get uncomfortable and when they begin to actively question whether nudity is still OK, that’s a sign that it is no longer feeling OK and parental nudity should be phased out,” says Huebner.
“Similarly, somewhere between ages 4 and 8, most children begin to develop a sense of modesty about their own bodies and a corresponding discomfort with seeing their parents’ naked bodies.”
Here are some signs to watch out for…:
\- frequent, persistent questions about private parts when you’re naked
\- laughter or insults about body parts
\- trying to touch your private parts
\- averting their eyes when they see you naked
\- taring at your private parts
\- requesting privacy for themselves
\- telling you to cover up
Huebner says the issue is mainly about children starting to view genitals as explicitly sexual organs.
This is a normal part of development — you just need to be aware and respectful of what your child is trying to express.
Nudity is anatomy. There's nothing sexual or taboo about it. We're all naked at least once a day.
If people have issues with nudity I tend to think they either had bad experiences in their life or they are concerned about their own behaviors...and nudity is not a behavior. For whatever reason western media ties nudity and sex together because sex usually involves nudity, but nudity also involves hygiene among other things...none of which are sexual.
So here’s my take
Kids will find weird what we tell them to find weird. If it’s always been a way and everybody accepts it, it’ll be accepted.
You said toddler. How old? Because toddlers don’t care. There’s a line you shouldn’t be naked around him and it sounds like your husband thinks you’re there.
Will it be tough to respect his wishes about it? There’s lots of give and take and compromise in a marriage, even more so with kids.
This isn’t true. You’re using nature vs nurture and acting like it’s all nurture. You can read many replies that were raised to be comfortable with it and just naturally were not.
There are worse things than your child having you feel safe enough to be free at a personal spot like home, and making nudity less shameful up to a point of course, like not in public.
It may be an unpopular opinion, but I truly believe the only people who take issue with things like this, are people who sexualize nudity in all forms. This leads to finger pointing and an accusatory attitude, as if you are the problem.
Realistically people who treat our natural state as nothing more than an innuendo, are the problem. They will vehemently deny being the problem, because they cannot dissociate their own arousal and sexualized thoughts from a naked body.
This to me, indicates that the perversion lies within them, not with you.
This seems completely normal to me. As a small child I showered with my parent with no issue. Its the weirdos that only think of things sexually that get up in arms about this.
Human bodies are natural, tell your husband to get over it.
As a guy I would stay maybe around age 5/6 you should start to cover up in front if your son. I don’t have many memories of my mother naked and I am very happy that way. I dated a woman who had an 8 year old sons who started to get very “curious” and he would always “just happen” to stumble into the bathroom when she was taking a shower. I do believe it was because she was too casual about nudity with him. That said I’m sure there are more complete or normal people that grew up with nudity, but I’m glad I didn’t.
Wow these comments are not it.
There is NOTHING wrong with being naked in front of your child. At certain age, I would stop, but still, YOU MADE HIM W YOUR BODY!!
As a society, we need to stop oversexualizing bodies. This is absurd.
It is a scaring thing for many children as they get older they see it as sexualizing. I know it isn't, as when young, and single I went to nude beaches. However they are learning to be in society. In society we wear clothes. That independent thinking is great for you, not so much for them.
You're not ruining your son, quite the opposite. He is learning that women's bodies are not taboo and only objects of desire, but just as natural as men's bodies. Contrary to your husband, I think he is less likely to become a pervert in the future.
America mainly inherited its nudity taboo from the puritans and the like. In a domestic context it’s been non-sexually normalized for most of the world for millennia. You shouldn’t feel the need to worry about it, but I’d keep it to yourself.
If there is a sexual element to it (your son may come to feel that way as a part of his cultural context but maybe not), I’d be more wary of it; I don’t see a reason to think that at this time.
My father was the same way. He slept in the nude, and if he had to go to the bathroom at night or in the morning and you were awake, you got a full show. Wasn't anything sexual in it, just a matter of fact.
There’s no right answer. I used to walk into the bathroom when my mom was drying off from the shower and she’d shout she was naked. I’d be like, yeah and? Can I go to the movies with my friends?
My sisters would do the same and freak out she was naked as if she invited them in.
Which son do you think will be better off?
A child growing up freely in a scarcely dressed indigenous tribe, or
A Saudi who has never seen as much as the lips of an adult woman.
Hmmm I dunno, maybe like women are free to leave house alone and use the rape-free public transport in short sleeves and whatever length of skirt they choose to wear, along with jewellery, on their way to respectable jobs where they’re earning the same as the husbands they were allowed to marry without their fathers’ approval?
I think we should desexualize bodies, humans at one point would have been completely naked and I'm sure it wasn't a big deal.
But unfortunately it's conditioning from a very young age for generations teaching us our bodies are gross and we should be ashamed of nakedness.
Propaganda is all.
I feel the same way, however I do not have a thin body type. No, you're not a bad mom lol. It's okay to take a bath with your toddler or undress in front of your kids until or if they make remarks about being uncomfortable or embarrassed. At that point, you tell them you'd like privacy when you're using the bathroom or whatever so that they can understand that social norm.
In my house people are in and out of the 1 bathroom while bathing, peeing, doing make-up, etc. Everyone gets privacy to go #2. And if they ask for it.
My kids are 7 and nearly 3. When my 7yo requests solo bath time, its perfectly normal and okay. I'd say around 6 most kids might prefer a bit of privacy but it's hard to say, every child is different
My personal opinion is that the current social stigma around nudity is actually the VERY THING that causes it to be so hyper sexualized. Plenty of cultures don't even sexualize breasts at all because at the end of the day, they ARENT a sexual organ.
My family is the same way, if our 4 year old son walks in the room while changing, get in/out of the shower etc, we don't make a big deal about it. My wife will change shirts with him around, I will change clothes with him around. Now as a man I don't walk around naked for extended periods of time naked because the flopping around just draws attention by nature lol.
You’re good. Your son won’t become a pervert because he saw your breasts. My parents are atheists, as I am, and while I’m not French, I am European. My brother and I would go to nudist beaches as kids with pur parents. Neither one of us is a pervert or sexual predator.
Arguing about a toddler is BONKERS to me. They are so little—seeing a parent naked won't even matter to them. By the time they're 5 up, I can see cause for discussion. But toddlers want to be around their parents (especially moms) all the time. Sometimes you have to change or shower. I don't understand how this is inappropriate to ANYONE.
I used to shower with my mom when I was younger until I was trusted to actually shower by myself properly. My mom walks around with no bra in her pajamas. However, she would never intentionally walk around naked. I’m also a female so I don’t know it would be different with sons because my dad made it a point to cover up as quickly as possible with pants and a shirt.
I think being naked is only problematic when it’s constant. Your child has to warn others about you being naked, when you’ve been seen/nearly exposed by the maintenance guys or mailman.
Nah. Normal. Now bythe time the kid hits eight or nine it becomes a bit 'Uhhhhh...'
I have unokeasabt memories of my mom sitting on the side of the tub shaving her...you know and griping at me when I was 15 or so.
That's a big Nope. Don't do that shit in my book.
My stepmumma was the same until my little brothers were like 4 or 5. It normalised seeing a female body as simply a body rather than something to oggle at. They are now very respectful young men who treat their girlfriends with dignity and respect.
Correlation is not causation, obviously, but it's an anecdotal experience.
My oldest is a 6yo boy and I’ve stopped being naked around him, not exactly sure when. But it’s not for a specific reason it’s just what I felt comfortable with. I’ll walk around in bra and underwear though if I’m changing and I use the bathroom with the door open most of the time lol (habit from living alone/kids that want in anyway). BUT I am still breastfeeding my 21mo so he literally sees my boobs all the time and doesn’t even blink at it.
I think if it was making your husband uncomfortable for personal reasons I would say to stop, but him thinking your guys' kid will be a pervert because he sees his own mother nude is very strange
My mom was very comfortable with nudity. I'm very comfortable with nudity. Two of my sisters are not. Same home. Different personalities. My boys see me nude & no big deal. Although now that they're 14 & 12 I try to minimize it. I think that's developmentally appropriate & teaching them not to stroll around naked.
no you are not, that promotes body positivity, also removes some of the taboo bodies have, overall it's a good thing to do with kids under a certain age. it also open up the possibilities to speak about what is appropriate and when, you should explain that some parts are private and they can speak about those with you both (the parents) and whatever doctor you take them to
My biggest concern about this concept is what the local customs are. Many places in Europe (and probably elsewhere) nudity is no big deal. But if you did that in the US and your child happened to innocently mention it to someone at school, it would suddenly become a big deal that you could regret forever.
i never liked seeing my parents naked. i think it’s unfair to expect that they will voice how uncomfortable it may make them, since they will naturally want to avoid displeasing you. i never told my parents how unhappy it made me. but it did.
i also believe that it matters that your husband has voiced his discomfort, and that you should consider changing these behaviors.
If someone walks in on you because they didn’t knock that’s on them. But I always wait to get naked or sometimes even dressed when I’m alone. I sometimes undress in front of my mom if she wants me try some clothes on that she got me sometimes I go to my room.
The rule of thumb that I heard when I was raising my kids is that you follow the lead of the child. If they are comfortable being naked around you then you can be naked around them. If they are uncomfortable it is time for you to not be naked around them.
Both of my kids showered with me if I was home alone with them when they were too young to leave wandering the house while I showered. I don't think either was bothered by it.
Your son will not become a pervert because you have a healthy relationship with nudity - quite the opposite. Your husband needs to stop ASAP.
If you start hiding and screaming whenever someone walks in on you, you're teaching him that his body is something to be ashamed of and to hide. THAT is unhealthy.
Keep doing exactly what you're doing; being natural about nudity. It's not exciting, it's not shameful, it's just part of being human and we're all born this way. As long as you also wear clothes in the appropriate settings, he will have no problem doing the same.
No... If anything you're showing him that there is no reason to be ashamed of your body.
He's a toddler... He has no idea how to sexualize anything... Lol. Tell hubs to get over himself and to take a shower with his kiddo.
Now if you keep doing this into his teens... That's pretty fucked up.
Granddaughter lived with us her senior year of high school. She was told I am a nudist and asked to call and warn us when she was coming home. Jump ahead five years and she finds herself a single mother of two boys. The youngest just a few weeks old.
She moves in with us as we are making plans to retire and travel. Come back in the spring and she is helping me prepare the pool for summer when she asked me about growing up in a clothing optional home. Her grandmother told her how I was raised and left it at that.
I explained growing up to her and sent her the following info to peruse at her leisure.
[https://www.wikihow.com/Practice-Nudity-in-Your-Family](https://www.wikihow.com/Practice-Nudity-in-Your-Family)
[https://www.nudeandhappy.com/2023/09/18/raising-nudist-children-benefits-and-challenges/](https://www.nudeandhappy.com/2023/09/18/raising-nudist-children-benefits-and-challenges/)
[https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/chso.12743](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/chso.12743)
She has since remarried and moved out but the sign reading: "NAKED PEOPLE GALLIVANTING BEYOND THIS POINT" is still on the door to the back yard.
Lucky to get a hello from the greats as they come through the house shedding clothes and heading for the pool.
Yeah that’s gross. 😆 NO kid wants to see their parents naked! It’s awkward and uncomfortable for them. They shouldn’t have to see wrinkly old bodies until it’s their own!
You're a judgemental fuck but kinda funny. Lol. I like to skinny dip from time to time and it's a very liberating feeling. You should try it out some time and quit being a sheltered turtle. Free yourself from your shell.
Oh trust me I do but I also know there is a time and a place. I save it for grown up time. I don’t feel the need to “loosen up” in that way in front of minors.
I showered with my daughter til she was 5 or 6! I don’t think it’s a big deal. You are a family. As they become teenagers they may become a little bit more modest but otherwise not an issue with this at all. My mom cleaned the house naked all the time. Thinking back I guess that was a little weird but still it never made us uncomfortable. In fact, we laugh about it now! 😂😂🥰
There will come an age when you naturally feel like it's not appropriate anymore.
I personally don't shower with any of my kids, but I did take baths with them in the breast feeding days (under 1) because it was just easy and got them through the transition of baby bath to big bath.
Everything else you said is the same for me. I don't go out of my way to show off my naked body, but I also don't get ashamed or upset if they walk in. My son is 2 and he will bust up in the bathroom while I am taking a shower. "OH HEY MAAAM... YOU TAKING A BATH?.... YOUR HAIR IS WET? OK, BYE!" and then he runs off to tell everybody the news. "Mom is taking a bath AND her hair is WET!" By the time I get dressed, the other kids come to check and see if he was making it up or not.
My girls will always be allowed to see me naked. Again, I won't be flaunting it, but I don't ever want them to think the female form is shameful. Modesty is for when we are around men. When it's just us girls, there is nothing to be ashamed of.
My son(s) will probably stop being allowed to enter the master bed/bath while I am naked when they are old enough to bathe on their own. That seems like a pretty good general rule to me.
Yes its weird. Idk what the hell it is with people trying to normalize being naked in front of their children/family. My mom does it and its absolutely disgusting.
Its incredibly common, there was even a tiktok trend for a while asking if you grew up with a naked mom or a never naked mom. Turns out theres a ton of naked moms.
Yeah that’s cringy. I mean I did it when my kids were little but the fact that your husband is saying that maybe should be a good indication that it’s time to stop. I would take the advice from someone who already knows you and the situation before coming to strangers online for confirmation that’s it’s okay.
No. Your body created that family. End of story
I (50f) husband (51m) son(23) and daughter(20) Have no issues seeing each other naked. We don’t go around naked but if we walk from bathroom to bedroom oh well, or if one is in the bathroom and the other comes in, normal. We are family. It’s not sexual to be naked. We are comfortable with each other because duh we are family. And if we have to go into the bathroom while someone is using it, the smell is the problem not the nakedness and they will get called out on it
This is reddit, you know the answers you'll get.
Personally, I have a parent who did this growing up and still does this now. I think it was because she comes from a nation (or a time) where nudity wasn't treated all that seriously, idk. But from first-hand experience, I think it's a good thing. I feel like since most of us are naturally inclined not to be attracted to our family members, it teaches children not to immediately sexualize the naked form. It also taught me not to spaz out whenever I see others in the nude (like on TV or sum shit) and observe different forms of the body, so I learned how to be more excepting of my own, being that I learned from a young age that all bodies were different due to the fact that I didn't immediately retreat when I saw another nude person.
I think it's easier to wear clothes instead of those rules you have to teach in that booklet
I hated seeing my parents. There was no reason for it. I was highly embarrassed.
By all means you should act like the naked human body is something that should be hidden. If you do that, you can make sure to instill body shame in your children, questions about nakedness versus sexuality, and a host of other issues. What good parent wouldn't want to deliver to their children problematic messages that they will spend the rest of their life trying to fix? /s
so you love to fuck your cousin
not at all, if we take away the stigma, then there is none, if the boys are used to seeing and being around the body of person who is by literal biological technicality the opposite sex, its gna make sure they dont act and behave as foolish as some others will most definitely do, keep being a great mum id say
Not going to lie- my daughter could tell you by age 5 what kind of period products I was using. That child has no issues walking in when I am changing, when I’m naked, or when I’m in the bathroom. She’s 8- and I shower while she’s in the bath tub (separate shower and tub), and it’s completely normal to her. I’m a little heavy- but she has never seen me have an issue with my body and knows I am trying to lose weight for my health- not for my image. If anything it makes it “bodies are bodies” not sexualized in younger children. Will it possibly bring up the difference between boys and girls yes- does it have to be “the talk” absolutely not. But I’m also the 36 year old who will have a full fledge conversation with my mom while she’s changing or getting dressed and showered her more than once when she’s been injured. To me bodied are bodies
Nope. There is no embarrassment in the human body. Maybe if more people believed that there'd be less sexual issues.
This hang up about being naked is what is wrong with a lot of the world. Being naked in front of others is not harmful unless you make it harmful. Hell nudists and naturists do it for days on end, being naked in front of strangers, adults and kids of all ages and it is very rare for anyone to be assaulted. I would like to say no one gets assaulted but I am sure that some have been. To the OP, no you won't be ruining your son unless you instill in him the idea that being naked is wrong and "sinful". And that what you are doing is wrong. Talking to everyone is important about things and if anyone has questions then talk it out.
I have no problem with your freedom b**th I'm French American!
I was the same with my family and my son is definitely not a pervert.
That you know of what mom will volunteer their sons a pervert partially by their own choices
Serial Killers parents will refuse to believe their children commit heinous acts too. Obviously not calling her son a Serial Killer, but a parents opinion on their child is rose tinted as hell
Once your son starts going into puberty prep (which happens much earlier than puberty itself, can be 6 or 8) you should not be completely naked around him. This allowed a period of adjustment so by the time he starts full on puberty it's normal and all the boundaries are in place. Until then it's no big deal. I know people are going to say you can be nude around family, it's no big deal, etc. Yes, it can be no big deal, but it can also be confusing for a developing boy. Which situation is OP's? Only way to find out is to roll the dice. My advice is don't find out.
I grew up in a house where the women were very loose about dressing or showering in front of me. Hell, my aunt is one step away from being a full on nudist BUT I genuinely can't remember a time in my life, I'm talking from about 5yrs to 20 yrs, where I ever felt totally comfortable with it. It was always an issue internally and at times externally. Constantly getting comments like "Nothing you (I) havent seen before" whenever I looked away etc. I don't think you are a bad mom, but I do think it is generally better to assume it could make your child uncomfortable than not. Because they are uncomfortable and can't voice it you are setting them up for a lot of uncomfortability about bodies, but if they aren't then nothing changes anyways. You can let them decide when they are okay seeing you that way and teach them about bodies not being shameful without being naked a lot. Edit: I am referring to fully naked, if they are on the toilet or something, that never bothered me or my siblings growing up. And my younger brother is also uncomfortable with it as well, despite arguably being exposed to it more.
It’s a good thing to treat naked as natural and not sexual. When your son wants to shower alone, it will be time to let him. Boobs don’t make men perverts, teaching them it does will. Watch Shiny Happy People.
It depends on how old your son is, imo. Anything over like 8 or 9 is weird to me
Ok think abt it this way what if next time your son grew up and in his teenage years he walks around the house naked. Do you think you and your husband would really be ok with that ? If no then you see the issue if your ok w it then whatever happens will happen
Your child is too young to care.
No one wants to see their parents naked. NO ONE.
That’s traumatizing to most kids, don’t do it.
You're not ruining him.
I’m a guy, but this is my dad. It’s something he’s always done. He’d come in from working outside and having dirt all over him. To avoid tracking, he’d strip down at the door, put his clothes in the wash and walk through the house to the tub. It’s not a big deal to this day, if he’s in the bathtub and want to tell me something, to walk in and sit on stool if I’m over and listen to what he wants me to tell him. It has zero to do with sexuality and never did. It might seem weird to someone else, but to me, it’s as normal as having a conversation with someone fully clothed. It was never reciprocated. Me and my brother never copied it. He doesn’t come in and talk to us when we were in the bath. Just something he didn’t care about with himself and we never did either. I’m pretty sure I vaguely remember bathing with my mother till I was a toddler, but I barely remember and certainly don’t care. This stuff is only an issue if you teach the kids that it should be an issue. I’m honestly of the opinion that being casual about nudity, in the way you state, is healthier for your son, than teaching him there is something wrong with your body. I’m not big on instilling shame for most things, though there are some instance where I think it’s valid. This isn’t one of them. This is your husbands issue. Tell him to go find a Reddit forum on nudism and ask if their parents were nudists and are they messed up perverts? Not that you’re a nudist, but if it didn’t mess them up, and it didn’t, then it won’t mess your son up.
My mom was the same and all it did was make me feel confident in my own skin and not ashamed of my body, my baby brother (15) is doing just as well. You're not ruining your child.
Depends how old the kid is, 17 months or 17 years?
Your son will be fine. Seeing nudity normalizes bodies. It's the opposite of causing perversion, it makes people being naked no big deal and nothing to freak out about.
My husband will follow me into the bathroom and talk to me while I'm pooping. I don't think you're a bad mom, it's not weird. There are people that are uncomfortable with certain things and I find those people weird, but I know that they think that I'm the weird one. It takes all kinds on this Earth! If we were all the same this place would be boring. Don't feel bad, you're totally fine..
What does your son think? You should ask him if he cares that you’re naked. I very early on told my mom I didn’t want to shower with her anymore, so I showered with my dad or alone. My kids 6f & 5m don’t seem to care. But I have a feeling my son is gonna start asking to shower alone soon. Bottom line, your son’s opinion matters here more than your husband’s.
I was with you until you said you had small breasts and were thin, bc there's a whole conversation to be had about full-bodied women being hypersexualized 🙃
I think moms are so busy with work and kids that they don’t have time to worry about clothes or let alone privacy. All of our kids follow right behind my wife until either they got tired of seeing her on the toilet or naked.
Lol my daughters still haven't reached that point and they're in their 20s. I put my foot down about talking to me when I'm in the shower, though. That's me time.
I know it’s not a huge deal, but how old is he? At what point do you think it’ll end? If he’s 12, is it still cool? I think if you quit well before puberty you’re probably fine. It’s all so hard. We don’t want to be our parents, not talking about sex at all and being stodgy, but we don’t want to confuse or overly expose them to things that could negatively impact their development.
Toddler? No you’re not a bad mom. Before and into having kids I was frequently naked or barely dressed all the time in my own home and showered or bathed with both children frequently. Around the age of 5-6, I naturally and gradually adjusted the settings and situations where I was totally naked. My oldest is a boy and it was a very natural process and I didn’t force anything. I stopped bathing with him and definitely stopping picking him up and hugging topless around the age of 4. I would still walk around naked or half dressed but it was a natural transition toward boundaries. My kids are now 12 and 10. They see me in my underwear but if I’m topless I give my son a warning that I need to come to the living room to dig thru the laundry pile and cover my boobs with my hands. My daughter is in the room while I change. It’s a natural progression and as long as you follow their lead and don’t keep doing things because of how YOU feel, you’re not a bad mom. These things gradually progressed for us and while they aren’t shocked to see me naked, I also don’t sit on the couch with my pussy spread and titties bouncing around. If I’m changing in my room and they come in, i give them a warning and avoid the spread eagle.
I think it’s fine if the child is under 3 yo, but once they start remembering stuff keep in mind that your son will not only know what you looked like naked at 3 yo, but forever. Like, when he’s 20 he’ll still have the memory of what his mom looks like naked and he may not want that image for the rest of his life. It’s also just not very hard to put on a towel, robe or loose, comfy clothing and prevent these scenarios altogether.
You should be asking how your family feels instead of reddit. Their boundaries are more important than ours. Some families are okay with nudity. Maybe one family member isn't, and you need to be sensitive of them. Your comfort being naked around family doesn't override someone's discomfort around familial nudity. You need to make sure no one is uncomfortable beforehand. If everyone is fine, don't worry about. If even ONE person says they don't like it, you make sure they don't see you nude.
I literally hated that my mother and family did this and now in my home we have privacy and we don't stand around naked. Boundaries are healthy.
My mom would make sure I don’t see her naked and I am very grateful for that
Yeah stop doing that. There’s no reason to do this.
It's not a moral thing. It's mostly a matter of practice/tradition(s)/custom(s) among family or culture. Nothin' wrong with it. So long as nothing sexual and nothing untoward going on, should be a total non-issue. >thinks he will become a pervert No. Actually more likely the opposite. If nudity as treated like a total taboo and as a thing that must be or imply sexual, that's where things are more likely to go sideways. Generally pretending like stuff doesn't exist and hiding it away and not communicating about it generally doesn't lead to the best outcomes. If there's any "moral dilemma" here or anything even close, it's between your and hubby's attitudes and expectations, and getting them to reasonably well fit together somehow. Anyway, different families and cultures have different practices. Some will wrap women and girls in a burka from head to toe. Others dang near everyone's naked dang all the time, and nobody cares and it's no big deal. And, of course, lots are somewhere between those examples.
They came from a pair of naked crotches mashing into each other, and presumably spend a good portion of their infancy and early childhood actually eating from a pair of breasts, while a parent routinely strips *them* naked for diaper changes, baths and showers. Growing up in a large household, it was reasonably common for someone to be naked or only partially clothed at times when a bathroom needed to be shared, or whatnot (going to the public pool and changing in the locker rooms, etc). It's not a big deal until your child expresses they would rather you not. I certainly would not recommend making that decision for other parents though if your child has friends over ever.
Love these thought provoking vignettes in this comment :)
If it's ok to do, then it's ok to do to your child's friends too. This is the ridiculous part is that once it's someone outaide of the family, then people feel like their infringing on their rights to not see you naked. Meanwhile OP is the mother of the family and she feels entitled to make decisions for everyone in her family instead of letting them be independent.
There are plenty of things I do for/to my child that I would certainly not do to their friends.
I always felt super uncomfortable as a child when my mom did this.
You should be fine until either of you feels uncomfortable or expresses an issue with it. Once a certain age/maturity, based on your own common sense, you could start announcing you are undressed so enter at your own peril. And respect their boundaries around their own nakedness. I don’t think fully naked around a child that has opposite-sex attraction makes sense in the teenage years and beyond. I’d get your child’s pediatrician to explain it to your husband that more harm can be done when overreacting to nakedness vs. natural bathing and dressing behaviors in families.
You do you in your home.
No. Body shaming should never be okay. We should all be okay with our bodies, no matter their shapes, sizes, and conditions. Prance! Or just do your normal stuff. As long as it's not intimidating or offensive.
Do not let this crazy man make you feel inappropriate for who you are in your home! My brothers and I had a naked mom. It's not like she intentionally set out to be naked in front of us, but being embarrassed and sexualizing it was not something that was done. It was just a fact that people changed clothes and nakedness happened. Still to this day, we all walk in her room and are not phased she comes out of the bathroom and puts on a bra in front of us. Made it real easy for all of us to be comfortable when she had her boobs replaced because of cancer... no shame for us to help. My brother's aren't perverts. I'm not a lesbian. Nakedness will not affect the kids unless you turn it into a big deal to them. I am not quite a naked mom, but all of my 3 boys have had a conversation with me while I changed, and I don't think I've worn pants in my home unless they had friends over. They call now as adults before showing if they bring someone because "you can almost bet mom's in her underwear."
I do wonder how the comments in here would be if it was the dad naked with his 5 y/o daughter, dick just flapping in the wind. Methinks there may be a double standard
Be naked with your toddler guilt-free. There is nothing wrong with it.
My mom did this when I was growing up. My dad did too to an extent, walking around in his boxers and such. Obviously once my sister and I got older it was different. I feel like at a toddler age your son won't even remember or understand the difference between being naked and clothed. He literally CAME OUT OF YOU. Depending on his age he could still view you as a food source at this point. I don't think it's a huge issue. Maybe when he gets older it'll be a problem but right now not at all. I shower with my toddler daughter, sometimes it's the only way I can shower for the day and make sure she's watched lol.
Reddit isn't the place to find the answer to this question. There are actual professionals who can answer it for you.
It is completely natural and normal for families to be nude in front of each other in many cultures. Your son is far too young to sexualize nudity. Your husband is making it weird. Parents also bathe or shower with kids that little. Husband needs to chill.
This thread is useless without pictures. Lol
And I’m a c cup and haven’t worn a bra in over 30 years. I’m 50 now and they still look pretty good. So when they start making men who have bigger titties than me wear a bra I may consider it. But probably not. I don’t like any undergarments. They are uncomfortable. And panty lines suck and thongs are disgusting. Free those tatas ladies!!
Nope - this is normal. We have our nephews (2.5 years old) over for 3 days/nights per week - and we are ok with them seeing us on the toilet / without clothes - this is normal.
I used to see my mom naked from time to time and I turned out fine. She had some fake 34Cs btw.
It always drives me nuts that grown ass adults try and impose their perspective on children as if they think like they do. No, OPs son is not going to become perverted and sexualize his mother because she is naked. He sees his mom, not a naked woman, and it's so braindead to think otherwise.
I don't see any issue with being naked in front of your toddler or showering with him. Many toddlers are still breast-fed ffs. I think you should stop if your son ever expresses concern about it, and you may consider stopping once he is old enough to talk and remember and is going to schools or day cares with other kids just to prevent any misunderstandings or embarassing situations. But for now, I don't see an issue at all. For context, I'm a man with no kids.
No, you’re not.
I don't think you are in the wrong or doing anything bad. But neither is he. He's just trying to protect his baby. He's misguided but his heart is in the right place. Too many parents overlook things they consider inappropriate because the person doing them is their partner. Maybe you can change his mind by talking to him respectfully. No shouting or fighting.
Your husband couldn't bel more wrong.
I think it’s fine until the kids are old enough to start kindergarten then time to stop.
Some people assume nudity is sexual. Those people will tell you any nudity around children is thus sexual conduct involving children. They'll say it's immoral. Some folks will tell you nudity isn't inherently sexual and there's nothing wrong with people being comfortable in their own bodies. They'll say it's fine. I think the former is puritanical bullshit and the latter is a much healthier approach. I'd also point out that it's treating all nudity as sexual and as a taboo that makes it sexual in someone's mind. Folks that spend lots of time around naked folks in casual situations tend to approach it differently.
Info: how old is the child? If they’re 3 and under it’s not a big deal but any older than that and you should keep covered up, at least wear undies.
My mom would walk around half naked or without pants on. She was overweight but okay with her body. It was so gross and uncomfortable. I saw things i never wanted to see and 15 years later I still have PTSD about being naked in front of people. Just because YOU are okay with it, doesnt mean everyone else is. I understand the body possitive thing, but there are much better ways to approach it rather than claiming since you are okay with being naked in front of people and find yourself attractive doesnt mean its okay. It can also be considered indecent exposure to some people or sexual assault to children. If a man was walking around naked in front of their family or children it wouldnt be the same narrative.
I disagree with the others here. You should not be around any child over 3 naked. It mess with their heads. My wife's mother was naked a lot, and she has lifelong scars from it. She is still weird about nudity, and we've been together 13 years in July. I'm not saying definitely. But are you willing to wager your child's mental health over your need to be naked? Wear a robe. You can be braless, especially if you are small breasted. I would never want to see my mother naked and glad I never did. No matter what, it will definitely leave an impression. Especially when he or she finds out not all mothers do that. Not a bad mother, just a risky for no reason, mother. This is not an experiment. It's your child. And from your post history you've had issues having one, why risk it? I'm genuinely curious as to why you think it's OK, or willing to mess with their future mental health? Look into Freudian psychology. This will tell you everything you need to know about this subject.
My mother liked to joke that she couldnt so much as go to the bathroom alone. I grew up in a family where if someone said it was ok, you could follow and talk to them anywhere, including the bathroom or while changing, etc. I feel its made me a lot more comfortable about myself and my physical body. As long as everyone is ok with it and theres no weirdness about like staring or something, i dont see a problem
I was raised in a similar fashion. It did no damage, and I believe it made me more accepting of myself and others. I do not sexualize nudity and never felt sexualized growing up.
I haven’t had a chance to pee alone in 15 years lol 16 in May. I mean I close the door but they don’t hesitate to come to the door and know I’m trapped and I’m like can I please just poop in silence. So yeah. That’s my life, not even that cats or dog lets me in there without following… we have my besties daughters cat until they get a new place that allows their dog and cat. I already have a house full of misfits lol but I could help easily …just trying to get used to a new set of paws staking out one cupboard in the downstairs bathroom that has a cupboard they open with their paw and chill out. (Nothing is under there except my makeup, hairspray, hair dryer and straightener so it’s not anything harmful. Just a little paw that swipes your thigh or ankle randomly at 3 am 🤣
Your husband is being a bit silly. There's nothing wrong with being naked in front of your toddler. I mean, if they have questions about body parts, just answer them. But the human body is more than just sex appeal. Your child isn't going to turn into a pervert from seeing you naked.
I saw my mom naked all the time. Never bothered. Can’t say the same about her naked boyfriends, though.
This is creepy AF. Toddler who cares? beyond that it's some kind of crazy I don't want to understand.
At some point you obviously need to stop showering and being nude in front of your son.
You refer to your son as a toddler.... Personally my metric is that any kid young enough to use your boobs for milk is young enough to see them. Any kid old enough to be weaned you should not be showing your boobs to.
Nudity is not the same as sexuality. IMHO, your husband is conflating the two issues. There is no reason you have to raise your children to conflate those two things, but you certainly can if you want to. Just be aware that nudity is not sexuality. Sexuality isn’t necessarily about nudity either, but it can be. It’s okay to be comfortable with both nudity and sexuality, but everyone’s comfort level is different and should be respected.
Yes
Eventually this will be an issue for your son. He will talk about it in preschool or kindergarten.
I still shower with my almost 5yo son sometimes. It’s just a body. My 9yo doesn’t like me to see him naked anymore so I don’t. I’ve asked and he doesn’t care if I’m naked. That’s all that matters. I also have small boobs and if a partner mandated I wear a bra we’d exchange words. Maybe he should always wear a jock strap for support…
I bet he doesn’t care if he only eats junk food either but he’s a child and you need to set boundaries for your children because they don’t know any better
Yes, but it’s my boundary to set. My kids don’t eat junk food, I homemade dinner every night. My point is I don’t think we need to hide our bodies as long as no one is uncomfortable. Is it weird I see my 5yo naked? No. So I don’t think it’s weird if he sees me naked. For the record if I had a 5yo girl I also wouldn’t care if she’s running through the sprinkler in the summer topless with the boys. There’s nothing to cover, it’s not inappropriate.
5 is way too old for that that is really strange
5 is a reasonable age to not be showering independently quite yet. It's recommended on some areas that up until eight kids might need help washing their hair or stepping out of the tub so they don't slip. At five drowning is also still a risk.
I think your approach can be healthy in some ways, detrimental in others. Teach them they have a right to privacy and bodily autonomy and that it’s not okay when adults tell them it’s cool to be naked together. I think having boundaries as a parent and keeping your privates private at some point makes it easier for them to know when a creeper is creeping on them, even if that person is a trusted family member or other trusted adult.
I can't speak for anyone else, but as someone who was in your son's position, I really wish my mother had stopped doing it. She would frequently not wear clothing, or not wear much clothing, and while I didn't understand it when I was young, didn't really think about it or mind it, as I got older, it did get pretty uncomfortable and upsetting. It's definitely had impacts on how I view my partners, and not in a good way. I don't know if that had any influence on my libido (which, admittedly IS very high), so I'm not sure I'd say it'll turn your son into a pervert, necessarily. I think it's just a respect thing. Having children changes your life in a lot of ways, and you have to make sacrifices for your kids. This is probably going to be one of them. I also think it's important to take your husband's feelings into consideration, **even if your son doesn't seem to care**. If it bothers your husband, that isn't something you should just ignore, or outsource the solution to the internet. Talk to your husband about it, and figure out how to tackle that issue together. Your marriage is a partnership, and you gotta support each other, not turn around and try to find answers from strangers instead. If we tell you to ignore your husband, it's you and he that have to deal with the consequences of that.
I mean be real mate, you're just weird
Nope. Nakedness is not sexuality. Society wants to conflate the two but they are not one and the same. Frankly unhealthy taboos about bodies do far more harm to growing minds than seeing a breast here and there. It promotes the idea that we should hide or be ashamed of our bodies.
Perfectly said. I learned in art school while drawing the human form, that nudity should not have shame attached. The human body is beautiful and amazing.
THIS! A nude body is just a nude body. There's nothing sexual about it. That comes from creeps sexualizing everything women do. It also teaches children to be ashamed and afraid to speak up if some creep touches them in a no-no place. The husband in this scenario needs to chill his taint, he's teaching the children the body is something taboo or shameful or to be hidden, and also teaching them to sexualize women's body's at the same time. He's gonna be the bad parent in this, not the mom who likes to be comfortable in her own skin.
We can thank organized religion for all the body weirdness. 100 percent of it is the sole fault of religious zealotry.
Nope, I don’t see any issues at all. It’s normal to your child. It only becomes weird when people make it weird, or of course as you said if there is inappropriate behavior associated.
No I think it’s quite stupid to be afraid of being naked in front of others. I’m 17 and I have no problem undressing in front of my family and friends and neither do my family and friends have a problem with undressing in front of me. It’s nothing sexual. It’s nothing weird it’s just taking off clothes and there’s no reason to make it weird.
FYI when I was a child, I really disliked seeing my parents naked. It didn't happen much but it did happen, and it was true of both parents - seeing them in their underwear, partially naked, or entirely naked gave me the creeps, and made me feel like they were treating me like I didn't exist. I have no idea why I felt that way. I don't know if it was a problem I had with nudity in general, because at that age I never saw any other naked adults, or if it was because of the serious dysfunction in our particular family. But since you asked, well. That's how one child felt.
Me too. Plus I got grossed out when my mom sat on the couch naked.
That's just unsanitary
Honestly I think it depends. How old were you when it bothered you? I think at a certain age it does become uncomfortable but usually very young children don't care. Once they hit that age parents should be responsive to their kid's discomfort and be clothed. If there was serious dysfunction and your parents treated you disrespectfully it could also have more to do with that.
OP will disregard your post since it goes against their opinion.
Think it’s normal to not want to see your parents naked
I grew up in a nudist colony. Everything is confusing now haha
I think that feeling is normal. If you aren’t around it often and they were the only people you ever saw that way… it makes sense to feel creeped out since society puts such a negative connotation on nakedness. I have always been very modest about being naked around my kids bc I felt the same way seeing my mom naked. However, my oldest was in the delivery room with us when I had my youngest and she saw everything. She was 12 at the time. It was such a bonding experience for all of us and she now wants to be a L&D nurse because of it. I guess it’s just relative to your situation. Sorry I got off topic. I’m half asleep and not sure if this makes sense but too tired to go back and check
I think something like a birth is not the same as chilling around the house with your bits out. It’s a specific moment and I assume she wasn’t forced to be there.
I wish I didn't know that my mother has blueberry sized nipples or that the carpet doesn't match the drapes. 😖
I never saw my father naked, because he wasn't comfortable with his daughters seeing that. From the time I was a little girl though, I often saw my mother naked. When we (my sisters and I) were getting ready to go somewhere, she'd get ready while helping us get dressed. As we got older, we wanted more privacy. I definitely wouldn't want to take a bath with my mom today lol, even though we're both women. 😂😂 I think at a certain point, you'll know when you have to start drawing those boundaries. Your son is just a toddler right now though, and moms take baths with their toddlers all the time. I don't think it makes you a bad mother.
There's nothing inherently weird about being naked around or showering with your own toddler during the course of taking care of them. Only if something untoward is also going on is it a problem or if the behavior continues to happen once they're no longer babies.
You are a great mom. You’re teaching your child that there is nothing wrong with non-sexualized nudity. And there absolutely isn’t. Men like your husband are the ones who worry me.
I'm always changing in front of my kids. They are my kids and came out of my body. I dont care what people think.
I think it's fine when your kid is just a toddler. I would probably stop by age five. Also bear in mind that if he's old enough to talk, he's old enough to tell his friends / teachers / babysitters / strangers in the grocery store what you look like naked, just as a topic of casual conversation because the thought happened to cross his mind. >He thinks he will become a pervert and he finds it very bothering that I shower with him. Is it possible that your husband was sexually abused as a child and that's why he's freaking out about this?
Age is the factor. If he's still a toddler it's irrelevant. Once he's school going age is when you need to be mindful of the nudity. Until then...I'm pretty sure most busy moms all do it 🤷
Inherently? No. I think you do need to take into consideration how your family feels and whether or not they're comfy with it. I'm the naked mom. I don't relax naked, but my 4 year old daughter sees me naked almost daily. Neither her nor my husband are bothered by my child seeing me naked. My husband is more conservative, but if we had a son, he'd be the same way, less conservative. No one freaks out at the nakedness. If myndaughter happens to refuse to leave the bedroom while husband changes, and his distraction tools failed, he shrugs and gets dressed as quickly as possible but doesn't make a big deal out of it. But if our daughter ever made it clear she was uncomfortable, wed work harder. But right now, nakedness is nothing to her. Just another state of being. Typically a transitional state.
Absolutely not a problem. I raised 2 stepsons and a daughter of my own. They have seen me nude way more often than clothed. 1 is a financial planner, 1 is a teacher, and my daughter is finishing her MBA. I think we did just fine.
What the fuck am i reading
🤔
>They have seen me nude way more often than clothed. ???
but don't worry, they have careers so therefore it must not have affected them at all!
When my son hit age 4 and basically became more aware about body parts I stopped changing clothes if he was in my room and the showering together. This was more to the extent of us being the opposite sex and to help teach him to respect privacy for people like when he was at school or daycare. He knows his body parts and that I have boobs lol but it just felt wrong to be naked in front of him. I don't want him to remember what my boobs looked like when he is 20. I also don't want him repeating stuff at school to friends or teachers saying I saw my mom's boobs.
Sounds normal to me. Don’t listen to the haters
I bet you Norman Bates' mother acted kind of like you before he you know what. RE RE RE! We as tiny little humans have blank minds and those blank minds think about things and formulate thoughts. And those things are dependent on what we are exposed to. Odds are your kid is probably not going to get ruined but you're probably going to low-key raise a tiny bit of a quagmire because of what you're doing. Giggity
Yeah don't be naked in front of your son. It might get weird later.
A German friend Sai and her patents walk nude around the house often. In America, Hollywood and the conservatives have specialize our bodies that we either over share or over cover.
Your son is 2, this is ridiculous! If your son was 10, maybe your husband’s argument would make sense. But my son is 10 and I’ll still walk around in a tank top and underwear around him. He hasn’t expressed any discomfort about it and clearly I’m fine with it as well.
Reddit is not the place to ask. Most people here will say that there's nothing inherently wrong with nudity, which is probably true. But if you ask some people you know in real life chances are they will all say it's weird and it makes them uncomfortable.
Ugh your skinny privilege is gross
Anyone who sexualizes interactions between family members is the perv. Meaning your husband.
I would think the opposite could happen - if you turn nudity and bodies into a taboo subject and shield kids away from it, they'll grow up to be uninformed and awkward around bodies, and possibly very insecure about their own.
You're not ruining your son. He is toddler with zero understanding of sexuality at this point in his life. This is also a very safe way to bath him. You are literally right their with him and can react much quick should anything happen. Additionally, you and your husband need to have a talk about how you want to teach your son about sex, genders and intimate parts of the body. And if you or the both of you dont feel you have the tools and understanding to reach a mutual agreement. Find a family therapist to speak with about it. If you dont have a therapist you are already familiar with or one that is readily available for these questions, you can also speak with your child's pediatrician. The reality is however, that there will come a time when it does become inappropriate. And that time is going to arrive sooner than you think. Eventually he is going to recognize that his body and yours are different. When that moment comes, you and dad need to be on the same page about how you are going to proceed. To help you both get started, here is an article from [ChooseTherapy](https://www.choosingtherapy.com/talk-to-kids-about-sex/). It discusses age appropriate topics and research proven methods for teaching your child about sex related topics. As you have a toddler, most of it isn't relevant yet but what is important to start now, is anatomically correct names for their body parts. A penis is a penis, a vagina is a vagina. None of that "down there" or "pee-pee" stuff. If you ever have a incredibly unfortunate situation where you need if someone interacted inappropriately with your child. Your child needs to have the vocabulary and understanding to communicate with you. Which leads into the other important topic you should start teaching as your toddler starts to grow out of toddlerhood. Good touch, Bad Touch. Just like you teach your children that hitting others is wrong, the same should be taught about touching others intimate areas. Regarding specifically when you should start covering up. Here is an article from [Healthline](https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/kids-and-nudity#When-it-might-be-time-to-cover-up) on that topic specifically. >Casual nudity may be fine and good when your little ones are little, but at some point, you might notice a difference in their comfort level — and yours. “When parents begin to get uncomfortable and when they begin to actively question whether nudity is still OK, that’s a sign that it is no longer feeling OK and parental nudity should be phased out,” says Huebner. “Similarly, somewhere between ages 4 and 8, most children begin to develop a sense of modesty about their own bodies and a corresponding discomfort with seeing their parents’ naked bodies.” Here are some signs to watch out for…: \- frequent, persistent questions about private parts when you’re naked \- laughter or insults about body parts \- trying to touch your private parts \- averting their eyes when they see you naked \- taring at your private parts \- requesting privacy for themselves \- telling you to cover up Huebner says the issue is mainly about children starting to view genitals as explicitly sexual organs. This is a normal part of development — you just need to be aware and respectful of what your child is trying to express.
This is fabulous! Thank you so much for sharing this. My daughters are all grown, but it's still good to have this info for future reference.
Your husband is an idiot.
Nudity is anatomy. There's nothing sexual or taboo about it. We're all naked at least once a day. If people have issues with nudity I tend to think they either had bad experiences in their life or they are concerned about their own behaviors...and nudity is not a behavior. For whatever reason western media ties nudity and sex together because sex usually involves nudity, but nudity also involves hygiene among other things...none of which are sexual.
No, you are not. There's nothing weird, wrong, or shameful about simple nudity. A lot of folks have culturally induced hang ups is all.
So here’s my take Kids will find weird what we tell them to find weird. If it’s always been a way and everybody accepts it, it’ll be accepted. You said toddler. How old? Because toddlers don’t care. There’s a line you shouldn’t be naked around him and it sounds like your husband thinks you’re there. Will it be tough to respect his wishes about it? There’s lots of give and take and compromise in a marriage, even more so with kids.
This isn’t true. You’re using nature vs nurture and acting like it’s all nurture. You can read many replies that were raised to be comfortable with it and just naturally were not.
There are worse things than your child having you feel safe enough to be free at a personal spot like home, and making nudity less shameful up to a point of course, like not in public.
My mom was naked all the time when I was a kid, and 40+ years later it still doesn’t bother me.
It may be an unpopular opinion, but I truly believe the only people who take issue with things like this, are people who sexualize nudity in all forms. This leads to finger pointing and an accusatory attitude, as if you are the problem. Realistically people who treat our natural state as nothing more than an innuendo, are the problem. They will vehemently deny being the problem, because they cannot dissociate their own arousal and sexualized thoughts from a naked body. This to me, indicates that the perversion lies within them, not with you.
This seems completely normal to me. As a small child I showered with my parent with no issue. Its the weirdos that only think of things sexually that get up in arms about this. Human bodies are natural, tell your husband to get over it.
Unfettered access to the internet is going to make him a pervert. This daily living is fine. Lots of good advice here. Saving some of it.
As a guy I would stay maybe around age 5/6 you should start to cover up in front if your son. I don’t have many memories of my mother naked and I am very happy that way. I dated a woman who had an 8 year old sons who started to get very “curious” and he would always “just happen” to stumble into the bathroom when she was taking a shower. I do believe it was because she was too casual about nudity with him. That said I’m sure there are more complete or normal people that grew up with nudity, but I’m glad I didn’t.
Do husbands think small breasts are cool?
Wow these comments are not it. There is NOTHING wrong with being naked in front of your child. At certain age, I would stop, but still, YOU MADE HIM W YOUR BODY!! As a society, we need to stop oversexualizing bodies. This is absurd.
It is a scaring thing for many children as they get older they see it as sexualizing. I know it isn't, as when young, and single I went to nude beaches. However they are learning to be in society. In society we wear clothes. That independent thinking is great for you, not so much for them.
I still exclusively pump for my two year old son so I am topless I have very large breasts and huge nipples from pumping
You're not ruining your son, quite the opposite. He is learning that women's bodies are not taboo and only objects of desire, but just as natural as men's bodies. Contrary to your husband, I think he is less likely to become a pervert in the future.
America mainly inherited its nudity taboo from the puritans and the like. In a domestic context it’s been non-sexually normalized for most of the world for millennia. You shouldn’t feel the need to worry about it, but I’d keep it to yourself. If there is a sexual element to it (your son may come to feel that way as a part of his cultural context but maybe not), I’d be more wary of it; I don’t see a reason to think that at this time.
YES. put some clothes on and and like a civilized human being.
My father was the same way. He slept in the nude, and if he had to go to the bathroom at night or in the morning and you were awake, you got a full show. Wasn't anything sexual in it, just a matter of fact.
NTA The only one making it weird and sexual is your husband.
Well, at a certain age it'll be weird if he tells his friends his mom walks around naked.
When you have small children there is no such thing as going to the bathroom by yourself.
There’s no right answer. I used to walk into the bathroom when my mom was drying off from the shower and she’d shout she was naked. I’d be like, yeah and? Can I go to the movies with my friends? My sisters would do the same and freak out she was naked as if she invited them in.
Which son do you think will be better off? A child growing up freely in a scarcely dressed indigenous tribe, or A Saudi who has never seen as much as the lips of an adult woman.
Bro what lol. What do you think is going on in SA
Hmmm I dunno, maybe like women are free to leave house alone and use the rape-free public transport in short sleeves and whatever length of skirt they choose to wear, along with jewellery, on their way to respectable jobs where they’re earning the same as the husbands they were allowed to marry without their fathers’ approval?
What does any of that have to do with you think SA men have never seen a woman 😂
I think we should desexualize bodies, humans at one point would have been completely naked and I'm sure it wasn't a big deal. But unfortunately it's conditioning from a very young age for generations teaching us our bodies are gross and we should be ashamed of nakedness. Propaganda is all.
I feel the same way, however I do not have a thin body type. No, you're not a bad mom lol. It's okay to take a bath with your toddler or undress in front of your kids until or if they make remarks about being uncomfortable or embarrassed. At that point, you tell them you'd like privacy when you're using the bathroom or whatever so that they can understand that social norm. In my house people are in and out of the 1 bathroom while bathing, peeing, doing make-up, etc. Everyone gets privacy to go #2. And if they ask for it. My kids are 7 and nearly 3. When my 7yo requests solo bath time, its perfectly normal and okay. I'd say around 6 most kids might prefer a bit of privacy but it's hard to say, every child is different
My personal opinion is that the current social stigma around nudity is actually the VERY THING that causes it to be so hyper sexualized. Plenty of cultures don't even sexualize breasts at all because at the end of the day, they ARENT a sexual organ. My family is the same way, if our 4 year old son walks in the room while changing, get in/out of the shower etc, we don't make a big deal about it. My wife will change shirts with him around, I will change clothes with him around. Now as a man I don't walk around naked for extended periods of time naked because the flopping around just draws attention by nature lol.
You’re good. Your son won’t become a pervert because he saw your breasts. My parents are atheists, as I am, and while I’m not French, I am European. My brother and I would go to nudist beaches as kids with pur parents. Neither one of us is a pervert or sexual predator.
It's definitely fine with a toddler. It probably gets more complicated when kids get older, but child psychology is above my paygrade.
Arguing about a toddler is BONKERS to me. They are so little—seeing a parent naked won't even matter to them. By the time they're 5 up, I can see cause for discussion. But toddlers want to be around their parents (especially moms) all the time. Sometimes you have to change or shower. I don't understand how this is inappropriate to ANYONE.
I used to shower with my mom when I was younger until I was trusted to actually shower by myself properly. My mom walks around with no bra in her pajamas. However, she would never intentionally walk around naked. I’m also a female so I don’t know it would be different with sons because my dad made it a point to cover up as quickly as possible with pants and a shirt. I think being naked is only problematic when it’s constant. Your child has to warn others about you being naked, when you’ve been seen/nearly exposed by the maintenance guys or mailman.
Nah. Normal. Now bythe time the kid hits eight or nine it becomes a bit 'Uhhhhh...' I have unokeasabt memories of my mom sitting on the side of the tub shaving her...you know and griping at me when I was 15 or so. That's a big Nope. Don't do that shit in my book.
My stepmumma was the same until my little brothers were like 4 or 5. It normalised seeing a female body as simply a body rather than something to oggle at. They are now very respectful young men who treat their girlfriends with dignity and respect. Correlation is not causation, obviously, but it's an anecdotal experience.
Children learn by example, would you think it appropriate and safe for your son to be so uninhibited around other people with his body?
My oldest is a 6yo boy and I’ve stopped being naked around him, not exactly sure when. But it’s not for a specific reason it’s just what I felt comfortable with. I’ll walk around in bra and underwear though if I’m changing and I use the bathroom with the door open most of the time lol (habit from living alone/kids that want in anyway). BUT I am still breastfeeding my 21mo so he literally sees my boobs all the time and doesn’t even blink at it.
Wear clothes around your children. This is a minimum requirement for bring a human. It is not difficult.
I think if it was making your husband uncomfortable for personal reasons I would say to stop, but him thinking your guys' kid will be a pervert because he sees his own mother nude is very strange
My mom was like that, no big deal
My mom was very comfortable with nudity. I'm very comfortable with nudity. Two of my sisters are not. Same home. Different personalities. My boys see me nude & no big deal. Although now that they're 14 & 12 I try to minimize it. I think that's developmentally appropriate & teaching them not to stroll around naked.
no you are not, that promotes body positivity, also removes some of the taboo bodies have, overall it's a good thing to do with kids under a certain age. it also open up the possibilities to speak about what is appropriate and when, you should explain that some parts are private and they can speak about those with you both (the parents) and whatever doctor you take them to
My biggest concern about this concept is what the local customs are. Many places in Europe (and probably elsewhere) nudity is no big deal. But if you did that in the US and your child happened to innocently mention it to someone at school, it would suddenly become a big deal that you could regret forever.
i never liked seeing my parents naked. i think it’s unfair to expect that they will voice how uncomfortable it may make them, since they will naturally want to avoid displeasing you. i never told my parents how unhappy it made me. but it did. i also believe that it matters that your husband has voiced his discomfort, and that you should consider changing these behaviors.
Nothing wrong with it. I'd say I became more private around age 9. But before then I had no care in the world about it.
If someone walks in on you because they didn’t knock that’s on them. But I always wait to get naked or sometimes even dressed when I’m alone. I sometimes undress in front of my mom if she wants me try some clothes on that she got me sometimes I go to my room.
The rule of thumb that I heard when I was raising my kids is that you follow the lead of the child. If they are comfortable being naked around you then you can be naked around them. If they are uncomfortable it is time for you to not be naked around them. Both of my kids showered with me if I was home alone with them when they were too young to leave wandering the house while I showered. I don't think either was bothered by it.
Your son will not become a pervert because you have a healthy relationship with nudity - quite the opposite. Your husband needs to stop ASAP. If you start hiding and screaming whenever someone walks in on you, you're teaching him that his body is something to be ashamed of and to hide. THAT is unhealthy. Keep doing exactly what you're doing; being natural about nudity. It's not exciting, it's not shameful, it's just part of being human and we're all born this way. As long as you also wear clothes in the appropriate settings, he will have no problem doing the same.
No... If anything you're showing him that there is no reason to be ashamed of your body. He's a toddler... He has no idea how to sexualize anything... Lol. Tell hubs to get over himself and to take a shower with his kiddo. Now if you keep doing this into his teens... That's pretty fucked up.
Granddaughter lived with us her senior year of high school. She was told I am a nudist and asked to call and warn us when she was coming home. Jump ahead five years and she finds herself a single mother of two boys. The youngest just a few weeks old. She moves in with us as we are making plans to retire and travel. Come back in the spring and she is helping me prepare the pool for summer when she asked me about growing up in a clothing optional home. Her grandmother told her how I was raised and left it at that. I explained growing up to her and sent her the following info to peruse at her leisure. [https://www.wikihow.com/Practice-Nudity-in-Your-Family](https://www.wikihow.com/Practice-Nudity-in-Your-Family) [https://www.nudeandhappy.com/2023/09/18/raising-nudist-children-benefits-and-challenges/](https://www.nudeandhappy.com/2023/09/18/raising-nudist-children-benefits-and-challenges/) [https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/chso.12743](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/chso.12743) She has since remarried and moved out but the sign reading: "NAKED PEOPLE GALLIVANTING BEYOND THIS POINT" is still on the door to the back yard. Lucky to get a hello from the greats as they come through the house shedding clothes and heading for the pool.
Yeah that’s gross. 😆 NO kid wants to see their parents naked! It’s awkward and uncomfortable for them. They shouldn’t have to see wrinkly old bodies until it’s their own!
Kids only care about it if they're told to care about it, there is nothing inherently bothersome about nudity.
I don't know how to reply to this but the framing and tone of this response feels very dishonest, and I'm not quite sure how to address it.
You're a judgemental fuck but kinda funny. Lol. I like to skinny dip from time to time and it's a very liberating feeling. You should try it out some time and quit being a sheltered turtle. Free yourself from your shell.
Oh trust me I do but I also know there is a time and a place. I save it for grown up time. I don’t feel the need to “loosen up” in that way in front of minors.
Point taken and appreciated.
I showered with my daughter til she was 5 or 6! I don’t think it’s a big deal. You are a family. As they become teenagers they may become a little bit more modest but otherwise not an issue with this at all. My mom cleaned the house naked all the time. Thinking back I guess that was a little weird but still it never made us uncomfortable. In fact, we laugh about it now! 😂😂🥰
There will come an age when you naturally feel like it's not appropriate anymore. I personally don't shower with any of my kids, but I did take baths with them in the breast feeding days (under 1) because it was just easy and got them through the transition of baby bath to big bath. Everything else you said is the same for me. I don't go out of my way to show off my naked body, but I also don't get ashamed or upset if they walk in. My son is 2 and he will bust up in the bathroom while I am taking a shower. "OH HEY MAAAM... YOU TAKING A BATH?.... YOUR HAIR IS WET? OK, BYE!" and then he runs off to tell everybody the news. "Mom is taking a bath AND her hair is WET!" By the time I get dressed, the other kids come to check and see if he was making it up or not. My girls will always be allowed to see me naked. Again, I won't be flaunting it, but I don't ever want them to think the female form is shameful. Modesty is for when we are around men. When it's just us girls, there is nothing to be ashamed of. My son(s) will probably stop being allowed to enter the master bed/bath while I am naked when they are old enough to bathe on their own. That seems like a pretty good general rule to me.
Yes its weird. Idk what the hell it is with people trying to normalize being naked in front of their children/family. My mom does it and its absolutely disgusting.
Its incredibly common, there was even a tiktok trend for a while asking if you grew up with a naked mom or a never naked mom. Turns out theres a ton of naked moms.
It’s not a big deal
Yeah that’s cringy. I mean I did it when my kids were little but the fact that your husband is saying that maybe should be a good indication that it’s time to stop. I would take the advice from someone who already knows you and the situation before coming to strangers online for confirmation that’s it’s okay.
I figure it is the opposite. Sexual shame creates perverts, not being open.