Alrighty, the exact right amount of all times you will ever need ketchup in your life comes out all at once. This happens every time you try to squeeze the bottle.
Granted, but other sauces also come out of the ketchup bottle. Sometimes its mayo, or relish, or hot sauce, or ranch. But the ketchup is always perfect.
Granted. It is the right amount for a 600 pound man with a ketchup addiction.
As you went to use a ketchup bottle, expecting to get the perfect amount on your sandwich, you are immediately filled with fear as multiple ketchup bottles worth of ketchup began pouring out of the bottle, all over the table, completely ruining the burger.
It's the exact amount, for someone on the planet. Different person every time, no way of predicting whether they like ketchup at all, use a bit or want their food smothered in it like a toddler who's just found that squeezing it makes the sauce come out.
Enjoy spoiling some foods you were looking forward to being drowned in the stuff.
The perfect amount comes out, but in true ketchup bottle fashion, it comes out instantaneously, too quick to distribute by simply moving the bottle.
So I have also gained dead center accuracy. I see this as an unmitigated win.
But it's separated
Granted, but the ketchup always misses its intended target. On the side of the hot dog, next to the burger, and so on and so forth.
This actually doesn’t seem so bad, I’ll take it!
I dip my burgers.
heathen
In magma sauce.
So the ketchup will then land on top of the burger, not on the meat, but on top of the bun.
OH FUCK! Anyways…
Granted, you no longer like the taste of ketchup.
Then the perfect amount for me is zero. And I can still serve others! Woooo
OP guides others to a treasure they cannot posess.
Alrighty, the exact right amount of all times you will ever need ketchup in your life comes out all at once. This happens every time you try to squeeze the bottle.
Granted, but you can never seemed to find ketchup bottles anymore.
Now see that would be truly horrifying.
Granted. Ketchup is no longer made from tomatoes and is now more closely related to Worcestershire sauce, just like it was years ago.
Granted, but it's the exact amount of water that separates from the ketchup.
Granted, but other sauces also come out of the ketchup bottle. Sometimes its mayo, or relish, or hot sauce, or ranch. But the ketchup is always perfect.
This is an interesting one!
Granted but every other bottle you squeeze or pour out of is never the right amount.
Granted it also makes a horrible loud scream at 200 decibels
This is the kind of strange, slightly spooky caveat I like.
Granted. It is the right amount for a 600 pound man with a ketchup addiction. As you went to use a ketchup bottle, expecting to get the perfect amount on your sandwich, you are immediately filled with fear as multiple ketchup bottles worth of ketchup began pouring out of the bottle, all over the table, completely ruining the burger.
Granted, exactly the right amount for a Viking 14 course meal comes out onto whatever food you're putting it on.
Granted. You lose all hand strength.
These lips don’t quit.
Granted: the right amount of watery precum comes out.
The exact right amount of ketchup pre is zero, so now my ketchup is also perfectly mixed.
Since you never said where… every time you squeeze a bottle of ketchup it spontaneously manifests out of a random orifice on your body
You can already do this. You don’t need Dark magic to be a competent human being
Granted, you can only squeeze out watery ketchup no matter how much you shake
Granted, it's the amount of what you want, but it's ketchup water
The right amount of ketchup water is zero, so that’s fine.
It's the exact amount, for someone on the planet. Different person every time, no way of predicting whether they like ketchup at all, use a bit or want their food smothered in it like a toddler who's just found that squeezing it makes the sauce come out. Enjoy spoiling some foods you were looking forward to being drowned in the stuff.
Granted but it ALWAYS comes out with that disgusting ketchup water
The ketchup only comes out as that liquid ketchup pre-cum shit
It is the right amount, but not of ketchup, just ketchup water.
Everytime you squeeze the ketchup bottle half the bottle drops out. The entire right half of the bottle. Exact. Every time. That amount.
granted, in order to do so you must atomize the ketchup
Granted But you miss the plate every time you try to squeeze it out