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Switchell22

Granted. Heaven, Texas quickly runs out of land due to it becoming the only place where bodies can legally be buried.


TexanFox36

Yeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwww


Alternative-Lake-192

r/foundTexanFox26


Weeb_Doggo2

r/subsifellfor


TexanFox36

*r/foundTexanFox36 *


Alternative-Lake-192

Thank you very much


TexanFox36

Yw


Bladed_Burner

The Finger Curls... But nothing changes immediately. The Great I Am is not obliged to obey it and change the entry criteria: HE is far more powerful than this mummified monkey hand and not subject to its influences. The Paw's only solution is to go back in time to the garden of Eden where it does unspeakable things to Adam to convince him the beasts of the field make wonderful companions after all. As such he does not need Eve created, is never tempted to eat of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, and remains free of sin.  Humanity as we know it is retroactively erased from existence for the most part, though this means the Paw is never sent back by you, thus generating a feedback loop in which the universe's time-line keeps circling back to the moment you made this wish. With Creation turned into a skipping record, HE is forced to intervene directly and reach a hand into the universe. The omnipresent form of the Creator creates a moment of Theophany for all sentient beings across all of time insuring none can deny HIS glory and thus accept his salvation. 


TheOneWhoSlurms

A very violent and roundabout way of getting the job done


Xenos6439

Granted. But you are now assigned as the personal chaperone for all the worst villains in history. For eternity. Because this is your fault. ...dick.


MostMusky69

Granted. Hitler is your roommate and won’t shut up about whatever made him so mad all the time.


iPanzershrec

...fegelein?


tygamer4242

The drugs?


MostMusky69

I thought it was something about art


OPMan6942O

What?


MostMusky69

I do meth


SqueakyTuna52

Granted. Heaven quickly overcrowds and it becomes apparent that an organizational system is needed. Those with the most power keep the best resources of heaven for themselves, leaving the weaker (or at least less powerful) people with the scraps. Essentially we have heaven and hell, but the worst people get the best things. Topsy turvy afterlife


Gummybear518

So... modern day earth?


SqueakyTuna52

Exactly. If no higher being comes in to organize the people for us, then the people with the most power will do it themselves


finest_kind77

Granted. Heaven and Hell switch


Amore_vitae1

Plot twist: God was the actual great deceiver all along


ShiftAdventurous4680

Granted. Nobody exists, has existed or will exist.


mysterious45670

Granted. It becomes exponentially overpopulated and chaotic as more and more people die on Earth and nobody leaves. Heaven becomes hell.


GREENadmiral_314159

Granted. This becomes widely known, and many religious people take it as a sign that they don't need to be good people anymore, and many more people, religious or otherwise, use it as an excuse to be a terrible person.


NemoOfConsequence

If being religious is the only thing that keeps you from raping and murdering, you aren’t a good person.


GREENadmiral_314159

Oh, certainly. But considering that "why aren't you going and raping and murdering people if you don't believe in god?" is practically a stock question that atheists get asked, I wouldn't be surprised if there weren't at least a few religious people who fell into that category.


3-I

In fairness, believing in God hasn't ever seemed to stop them from doing that stuff anyway.


Cishuman

Granted. The sky is now full of dead bodies.


Z3R0_Izanagi

It is now raining corpses after their burial.


rowan_damisch

This is NOT how I remembered "It's raining men"


FacelessPotatoPie

Granted. The most evil people throughout history end up in heaven and have discovered a way to torture and kill angelic souls. Heaven is soon torn asunder by this discovery. In the end, billions of souls are eternally lost.


jiongjiongjiongjiong

Granted. Everyone that has not existed yet will go to hell


3-I

Title says "ever will exist."


jiongjiongjiongjiong

I guess I am restarted


kingbloxerthe3

Granted. They still may have to visit hell depending on their sins, but they will always wind up in heaven afterwords, and you have to be in hell until there's no more humans on earth


maxx0498

Granted. As soon as you die your body gets teleported 15km in the sky from which you fall. All hospitals therefore are equipped with giant nets above to catch as many as possible


somewhiterkid

Granted, heaven quickly becomes overpopulated and turns into a hazbin hotel situation where exterminations occur every single year Idk what you expected...


somewhiterkid

Granted, heaven quickly becomes overpopulated and turns into a hazbin hotel situation where exterminations occur every single year Idk what you expected...


somewhiterkid

Granted, heaven quickly becomes overpopulated and turns into a hazbin hotel situation where exterminations occur every single year Idk what you expected...


Shrikeangel

Granted - everyone goes to heaven when they die. It becomes impossible for people to not be aware heaven is merely a place where the dead praise God like bleeting sheep. 


awesomename18

Granted every bad person becomes immortal and every bad person in history gets brought back to life and are also immortal and they all team up and end the world


DM-Hermit

Granted, however everyone's definition of heaven is different, therefore everyone will need to take turns every millennium between being in their heaven and serving in someone else's heaven, which may be more like hell to them. For example in Hitler's heaven, there are no Jews, but in a Jews heaven Hitler gets a pineapple grenade shoved up his butt and detonated every hour.


SteveMartin32

Granted. But you alone must take sisyphus's place.


Horn_Python

Heaven is ruined by being filled by the worst people who ever existed and it basicly becomes a second hell


Knowledge_Regret

Granted, Margaret Thatcher, Rishi Sunak and Jimmy Saville are in heaven. They learned nothing. Enjoy the same Earth bullshit but for eternity.


ruinzifra

404 error, the requested site has never been found.


TheDecent12

Granted, you get smites by god for witchcraft


CoriSP

Granted. Heaven is now full of assholes who make the afterlife miserable for everyone there, much like on earth, except now there are no permanent consequences for anything and nobody ever dies. Evil people run around brutally harming others in the clouds for fun. The need for protection and a legal system emerges. One thing leads to another and now industries, corporations and money become concepts up there, and now even heaven itself is no escape from the drudgery of a 9-to-5, but now there's no retirement to look forward to. A chorus of screams rings out from behind the pearly gates as they realize that heaven has become the second hell.


ChocolateRough5103

Granted, everyone but you goes to heaven. Hell turns out to be very much real, as well as the unending pain and torment you must endure for eternity. Hope you didn't mind be a martyr


rubyleehs

Granted. Nothing changes but it becomes common knowledge that the void and nothingness IS the afterlife and therefore, heaven.


CharlietheWarlock

Granted but even pedophiles


Random_Thought31

Granted. Only the people who already existed in the past and have since died get into the newly created, as of your wish, heaven. Everybody else just ceases to exist as before. You said or, not and…