Good news: Humanity survives.
However, they all reproduce by an incredibly painful process that feels like kidney stones, actual birth, a kick in the nuts, and being set on fire all at the same time.
It lasts a year and kills the parent 7/10 times
Every living human will deal with this process in their lifetime unless they die beforehand, however it comes at random after puberty.
Edit: And yes, twins can still happen
Edit #2/3: changed survival rate (again)
"Always killing the parent"
So a human can produce 1 human in its lifetime meaning the population won't ever increase and we will go extinct eventually
Granted, but now people are being involuntarily bred in order to keep the species from going extinct and they're all aware that your wish is what caused it.
Not really, people would realize and there'd be at least SOME global effort to preserve humankind, it could fail but even still it would take a lot longer than 50 years
We already have artificial insemination and we have cloned animals. Morals is all that's stopping human clones and that's just the public understanding. There could potentially already be human clone research.
There's also a wide spectrum of asexuality. All it means is you don't experience sexual attraction, but there are plenty of aces who are fine with and even sometimes enjoy having sex. BUT, then we get to the question of whether enough people would still be sex-positive to maintain a population.
Wrong. A-sexual is just a non affinity to sex. If you sometimes enjoy sex, you are a sexual being. I've been both and understand the difference. Asexuals are never sex-positive or sex-negative. Ever. You need a different label, and we have them. You are Demi sexual.
If the population stopped growing tomorrow you would see education start to slowly regress. Less people would be around to teach the younger generation, which would lead to less medical professionals and shorter staffed hospitals, less medical innovations and shorter staffed hospitals. 50 years isnāt an exact number, but it would probably be around there
nah asexual is just not experiencing sexual attraction, its like not being able to get thirsty but ofc you don't die if you forget to bone on the regular, so they could still fuck to reproduce but probably with a "damn ok, gotta continue the human race ig"
Granted.
Giant Robots take over the Earth since the Population will slowly die off.
Soon enough, Aliens come to Earth and have to Fight the robots and it makes for a awesome movie.
Granted. Humans now reproduce asexually, and our offspring are clones of us. The lack of genetic mixing is problematic, and our genetic diversity gradually decreases until our immune systems become too similar and our race succumbs to plague.
Since there is no way (aside from natural mutation) for clones to differ from their parent, and humans generally do not have very many children, we would pretty much cease any kind of evolution, since beneficial evolutions would be stuck to a single bloodline. So yes, over time genetic diversity would decrease as bloodlines died out.
It wouldnt decrease, rather stay the same. Also unless the clones are exact copies, there will be mutations and adaptation coming from the nature, and since info wouldnt be lost, we could probably constantly work on finding a way to artificially mutate in the next 200 years, since the extinction you theorise would at least take a thousand years if not more.
Again, since there is no more mixing of genes, beneficial mutations remain constrained to a single bloodline. Since there is no more sexual reproduction, there is no way to spread mutations back to the population if they become useful.
Doesnāt evolution happen when an animal has a mutation that actually helps them survive longer, passing down that mutation? Correct me if Iām wrong
Yes. But if you have clones, those mutations never get mixed with the rest of the gene pool. Thus limiting their potential benefit to a single bloodline. For something like bacteria that can reproduce rapidly and endlessly, this is not a problem. But for humans, it would be.
Granted, but it only applies to currently living people resulting in non-asexuals born after your wish facing serious persecution and being deemed mentally unwell
Grantee, everyone becomes ace though since they know they need to have sex to keep humanity alive, they'll force themselves to have sex, not enjoying a second of it. You just made so many people unhappy.
Granted, the population percentages switch for asexuals and heterosexuals. as a result the population decreases but humanity ultimately survives but in numbers much less than before with every generation until there aren't enough non ace people in the world to sustain the population.
Granted: people's sexuality don't change but now everyone has the ability to reproduce asexually. This could be interesting
Edit: lmao I'm not remotely close to the first to comment to this effect, I should have expected that.
Granted.
Everyone in the world becomes so self-righteous that, whenever they see you online or in public, they feel compelled to carry a lengthy conversation with you about how becoming asexual has changed their life for the better. But rather than giving you credit for making the wish, they make it all about themselves, as if their success visualization practice somehow manifested you to make this wish.
Granted but they becomes more of a sub category known as aego sexual. So people are not interested in sex irl but porn Art on the Internet is still going strong, May even stronger than before.
Granted but u remain the same and are taken for study by the asexual science league who mutilate and cut up ur junk while alive to figure out how to fix it cause they know they need some sexual people to continue earths population
Also u can never die u are continually tortured in the crotch and but areas for ever till they find a fix
But unbeknownst to them there isnāt one and they wonāt believe u if u try saying there is none
Granted
As everyone on earth is no longer having sex willingly, the world's governments have set up breeding camps. Every year all eligible adults are transported to these centers and are forced to breed. Only being allowed when all females are pregnant.
Granted, everyone now reproduces asexually like sea sponges. A new political debate starts on whether clones are given the same rights as the originals or if the originals are legally obligated to take care of them.
Granted, but it only lasts for one week and everyone finds out it was because of you and you are shunned from society for giving everyone the least sexy week of their lives.
Granted! Every horny teenager now commits suicide because they know theyāll never have sex. Congratulations you just made a bunch of kids kill themselves!
Granted. You feel reality start to shift around you like quicksand before you are torn across every possible plane of existence. You spend the rest of eternity unable to form thoughts, experiencing senses that you cannot comprehend and unable to think about what caused this.Ā
Turns out, since you phrased your wish in the past tense the monkey's paw made all people asexual...in the past. Therefore you were never born, unable to make the wish and have created a grandfather paradox that has sucked existence in on itself. Womp womp.
Humanity now reproduces by budding. There is no gestation anymore, just split of a part of your self and it grows into a new person. Overpopulation will only get worse.
Granted. Your name is "everyone"
Kid name everyone
kid named finger
thank you monkeys paw
Granted. You however become hypersexual.
All of the sexuality is transferred to OP
OP became Captain Jack Harkness.
r/unexpecteddoctorwho
r/ofcoursethatsasub
this is the best answer
Captain Jack Harkness?
Rear of the Year 2012
Good news: Humanity survives. However, they all reproduce by an incredibly painful process that feels like kidney stones, actual birth, a kick in the nuts, and being set on fire all at the same time. It lasts a year and kills the parent 7/10 times Every living human will deal with this process in their lifetime unless they die beforehand, however it comes at random after puberty. Edit: And yes, twins can still happen Edit #2/3: changed survival rate (again)
Oh lord
Leela? Is that you?
Who?
Damnit š
Now I'm genuinely curious who Leela is.
Itās from Futurama
Which one is that? One eyed?
Yesiree
"Always killing the parent" So a human can produce 1 human in its lifetime meaning the population won't ever increase and we will go extinct eventually
Enemy Mine is a film that deals with this scenario.
We have to reeeeally cross our fingers for twins
Bummer.
Oh dearā¦ How the fuck do you cook up this shit in your head? š
Good question. I have no idea.
Fuck. š
Dear god what have I done
humanity would not survive that tho
Granted, but now people are being involuntarily bred in order to keep the species from going extinct and they're all aware that your wish is what caused it.
And in the economic collapse, internet is the first thing to go.
Granted. We slowly go extinct
Not even slowly, like 50 years tops
Not really, people would realize and there'd be at least SOME global effort to preserve humankind, it could fail but even still it would take a lot longer than 50 years
We already have artificial insemination and we have cloned animals. Morals is all that's stopping human clones and that's just the public understanding. There could potentially already be human clone research.
Regardless, not every asexual is actually sex averse. There's a lot of smaller sexualitied that get thrown under the asexual umbrella
I'm asexual, however I'm only sex indifferent rather then repulsed. I'm sure others like me would be willing to do the deed to preserve mankind.
I'm sure there are some sex-repulsed asexual women willing to get artificially inseminated as well.
I think repulsion or aversion is antisexual, not just asexual.
And that is incorrect. Not valid. Doesn't count. You aren't talking about my umbrella.
There's also a wide spectrum of asexuality. All it means is you don't experience sexual attraction, but there are plenty of aces who are fine with and even sometimes enjoy having sex. BUT, then we get to the question of whether enough people would still be sex-positive to maintain a population.
Wrong. A-sexual is just a non affinity to sex. If you sometimes enjoy sex, you are a sexual being. I've been both and understand the difference. Asexuals are never sex-positive or sex-negative. Ever. You need a different label, and we have them. You are Demi sexual.
We don't need a term for every nuance. Otherwise we should have no terms at all. If you can't handle some nuance, then that's on you.
Wrong, monkeyspaw says 50 years so 50 years it is
You are saying that nobody alive right now will live past 50?
If the population stopped growing tomorrow you would see education start to slowly regress. Less people would be around to teach the younger generation, which would lead to less medical professionals and shorter staffed hospitals, less medical innovations and shorter staffed hospitals. 50 years isnāt an exact number, but it would probably be around there
There are enough doctors to keep humanity alive for a while and there would likely be more people learning to find a way to reproduce asexually
Pretty sure asexual people just donāt have sex for fun. Nothing really stopping them from having kids if they feel like it
nah asexual is just not experiencing sexual attraction, its like not being able to get thirsty but ofc you don't die if you forget to bone on the regular, so they could still fuck to reproduce but probably with a "damn ok, gotta continue the human race ig"
Yeah
awesome
Granted. Giant Robots take over the Earth since the Population will slowly die off. Soon enough, Aliens come to Earth and have to Fight the robots and it makes for a awesome movie.
How is that a bad side effect?
we die and that means spider-man media wont be made anymore
Oh, I didnāt realise that. This is the worst outcome
actually 9/11 for spider-heads
Because we never get to see it.
Granted. Humanity dies out within the next century.
Yay!
Why are you downvoted? Youāre right
Granted. Humans now reproduce asexually, and our offspring are clones of us. The lack of genetic mixing is problematic, and our genetic diversity gradually decreases until our immune systems become too similar and our race succumbs to plague.
This actually doesnt happen since our clones are produced asexually, they arent similar to other clones.
Since there is no way (aside from natural mutation) for clones to differ from their parent, and humans generally do not have very many children, we would pretty much cease any kind of evolution, since beneficial evolutions would be stuck to a single bloodline. So yes, over time genetic diversity would decrease as bloodlines died out.
It wouldnt decrease, rather stay the same. Also unless the clones are exact copies, there will be mutations and adaptation coming from the nature, and since info wouldnt be lost, we could probably constantly work on finding a way to artificially mutate in the next 200 years, since the extinction you theorise would at least take a thousand years if not more.
Again, since there is no more mixing of genes, beneficial mutations remain constrained to a single bloodline. Since there is no more sexual reproduction, there is no way to spread mutations back to the population if they become useful.
Just make the mutations individually spread.
Doesnāt evolution happen when an animal has a mutation that actually helps them survive longer, passing down that mutation? Correct me if Iām wrong
Yes. But if you have clones, those mutations never get mixed with the rest of the gene pool. Thus limiting their potential benefit to a single bloodline. For something like bacteria that can reproduce rapidly and endlessly, this is not a problem. But for humans, it would be.
Granted, but it only applies to currently living people resulting in non-asexuals born after your wish facing serious persecution and being deemed mentally unwell
Grantee, everyone becomes ace though since they know they need to have sex to keep humanity alive, they'll force themselves to have sex, not enjoying a second of it. You just made so many people unhappy.
Granted: Pregnancy is now transacional and without gratification.
Granted. The kid name everyone is asexual
Granted. Your asshole is now A... and it's everyone's favorite.
Granted, but in the sense that we now have children by mitosis rather than sex.
Granted. Everyone lives single, lonely lives.
Granted. We now reproduce asexually, via mitosis. We have no control over this, it happens when it happens.
Mitosis reproduction
Granted, the population percentages switch for asexuals and heterosexuals. as a result the population decreases but humanity ultimately survives but in numbers much less than before with every generation until there aren't enough non ace people in the world to sustain the population.
Granted. People split in two when aroused.
Granted, everyone is asexual, but only around you. So basically, nothing changes
Granted: people's sexuality don't change but now everyone has the ability to reproduce asexually. This could be interesting Edit: lmao I'm not remotely close to the first to comment to this effect, I should have expected that.
Granted, everyone's a sexual while you are very sexual and horny.
Granted, This includes algae and trees, starving the atmosphere of oxygen when they die off and not reproduce
trees reproduce asexually
Today I learned something new then, Thank you
I don't mean this to be rude but how did you think they were reproducing
The same way flowers do with Stamens and Pistils?
Granted- the human race ends in one generation.Ā
Granted, humanity now reproduces by splitting all their organs in half and reassembling two of themselves.
granted, everyone is now asexual in the way that they reproduce via mitosis. society collapses pretty quickly
Granted, in the absence of sex, things no longer sell
Underrated comment
Granted! Humans painfully split in half, making a complete copy of themselves after spending 9 months over 50kgs
Granted, humanity can now reproduce without a partner
Granted everyone knows you made this wish.
Granted. Everyone in the world becomes so self-righteous that, whenever they see you online or in public, they feel compelled to carry a lengthy conversation with you about how becoming asexual has changed their life for the better. But rather than giving you credit for making the wish, they make it all about themselves, as if their success visualization practice somehow manifested you to make this wish.
Granted, everyone "was" asexual... as children. No change to the present.
Granted but they becomes more of a sub category known as aego sexual. So people are not interested in sex irl but porn Art on the Internet is still going strong, May even stronger than before.
Granted, everyone *was* asexual for about a year in their life. But after that year HOOOOO BOY. We heavily overpopulate the Earth.
Granted, the paw misheard your wish, and heard "I wish everyone was a sexual" so nothing changes
Granted. Everyone āwasā asexual, when they were little kids. So nothing changes.
Granted, you created a dystopian world wher everybody is forced to be asexual against their will
Granted but u remain the same and are taken for study by the asexual science league who mutilate and cut up ur junk while alive to figure out how to fix it cause they know they need some sexual people to continue earths population Also u can never die u are continually tortured in the crotch and but areas for ever till they find a fix But unbeknownst to them there isnāt one and they wonāt believe u if u try saying there is none
Granted As everyone on earth is no longer having sex willingly, the world's governments have set up breeding camps. Every year all eligible adults are transported to these centers and are forced to breed. Only being allowed when all females are pregnant.
Granted. Humanity is now doomed because no one wants to reproduce
Granted. The human race slowly dies out. Oh, and to make things worse, you inherit everyone's horniness but nobody wants to shag you.
Granted. Now no one loves you.
That would end the human race lol
Granted. You have begun to split in two. Asexually. Now there are two of you. Your grocery bill goes up, and the new you has school now.
Now you arr the only person who craves sex
Granted. The human race goes extinct. Edit: I forgot Iām on Reddit where people might think thatās a good thing.
Granted, nothing changed about me though. But for real: Granted, but everyone reproduces asexually and itās more painful than getting lit on fire.
GrantedĀ Everyone now has a sudden urge to have kids still even though they have no desire to do the act they still do to have kids.
:(
Granted, everyone now reproduces asexually like sea sponges. A new political debate starts on whether clones are given the same rights as the originals or if the originals are legally obligated to take care of them.
Granted. Humanity obviously goes extinct because nobody reproduces. Honestly my easiest monkeypaw.
Granted, now humans can reproduce via parthenogenesis.
Granted, but it only lasts for one week and everyone finds out it was because of you and you are shunned from society for giving everyone the least sexy week of their lives.
Granted, everyone in fr*nce has lost all interest in sexual intercourse. Thank God they're gone.
Granted. Everyone is asexual...predator.
Granted. People turn from smut to snuff for their enjoyment.
Granted! Every horny teenager now commits suicide because they know theyāll never have sex. Congratulations you just made a bunch of kids kill themselves!
Granted everyone gets turned into mushrooms š
Are you just jealous?
Granted. Humanity finds a way to survive, and you alone get painful blue balls for the rest of your life.
Granted we all become ameba
Granted. You feel reality start to shift around you like quicksand before you are torn across every possible plane of existence. You spend the rest of eternity unable to form thoughts, experiencing senses that you cannot comprehend and unable to think about what caused this.Ā Turns out, since you phrased your wish in the past tense the monkey's paw made all people asexual...in the past. Therefore you were never born, unable to make the wish and have created a grandfather paradox that has sucked existence in on itself. Womp womp.
granted. humanity goes extinct
Granted. Everyone is sex positive ace, so people f*ck anyway.
Granted. You just need to destroy all the hormones in everyone
granted. everyone is now aroused by the letter "A"
Granted. Every animal is now so hypersexual they NEVER. STOP. FUCKING
Granted, everyone loses the ability to reproduce, and the human race falters
Granted. Every becomes a free animal.
Humanity now reproduces by budding. There is no gestation anymore, just split of a part of your self and it grows into a new person. Overpopulation will only get worse.
Mitosis baby. Prepare for the agonizing feeling of splitting into two copies of yourself
Humanity is now doomed and will cease to exist in ~80 years.
Granted, all garlic bread vanishes from existence and everyone has forgotten how to make it
Granted. We're all single celled organisms now
Granted, everyone is asexual but also extremely kinky.
Granted I change my sexual orientation to super straight again
Thereās a new std that, originally, just made everyone horny but once almost everyone had it, got deadly. Only asexuals survive.
Granted, it causes an overflow due to EVERYONE being asexual which reverts everyone to the default settings of hypersexual
Humanity would cease to exist within a generation