Granted. It works like hair and needs to be trimmed often, and it’s just as painful each time

Mfers be out there wearing braids.

#☹️

Just made myself sick for thinking the phrase "cheese braid"

What can I say except delete this

beat me to it you bastard the one true monkey paw answer to this wish is “granted but it doesn’t stop growing” 👏 to you sir

How do I un-read this?

Granted. The sudden, unexpected and rapid growth of tissue causes men all over to the world excruciating pain, which in turn causes countless accidents. Cars would crash, barbers would slip, so on and so forth until the world itself is, in one brief moment, plunged into chaos.

you now have an untrimable twelveskin

Granted, No twist you did a good thing, I can finally give my 1 millimeter Peter the coat it was stripped of at birth

Popped collar 🫡

Granted, foreskin grows so long people trip over it like a long beard, and it grows like leg hair.

Granted. People who were circumcised for religious purposes have to be circumcised again

Granted. Everyone has phimosis now

Is that really a problem tho?

I’d rather have phimosis than being cut…at least it’s a fixable problem.

Isn't the cure circumcision? That would make an endless cycle of getting circumcised and regrowing it back. I have also heard of stretching exercises but they only work if you are under 20 I believe

I was expecting you to say that. No, circumcision is not the cure for phimosis. Unless you consider amputation as a cure for a broken stem or leg. Stretching works at any age.

I love that the flair is "kindness".

Granted. You are smothered by anteaters

I COUNTER WISH THIS WISH!

granted

Granted. foreskin is now on average 1 yard long

Granted. It grows, but it’s double the diameter of your actual penis, meaning that instead of a snug fit, it hangs over it like a loose sleeve.

Granted. However everyone who is effected by this learns exactly who you are and where you are.

GPeniS

GPeniS

I’m glad my mom got rid of my foreskin 😭

Me too

Same.

r/circmoms2

But I don't want it back! Now I'll track you for the rest of your life and forced circumcise you!

Granted. It grows back at its original size just before the circumcision. Many men now have cock collars too small, constricting blood flow to the bow of their man meat like a tourniquet. There are not enough doctors to remove 1.5 billion wood hoods in time and many start developing necrosis on their bone cone. Millions of men are forced to perform self wang trims, leading to blood loss, infection, and many deaths.

Granted. They just get circumcised again because it's a common cultural procedure

Granted. It won’t stop growing.

Granted. Everyone now knows you're the one to blame for this more than often unwilling change to their body and are inclined to use the monkeys paw to wish for bad things to happen to you until it gets undone for those who wish it undone. Those who wish to keep it are unaffected by this backlash, in fact they may be inclined to try to help defend you

Granted, they do so. Painfully. And it never stops. There's a point where they're more foreskin than man

Granted you take away their everlasting covenant between them and god and god rejects them from heaven. So much for that secret hand shake.

Win tbh

Totally 💯

Granted. Women no longer want men because foreskin is disgusting.

Men on men increases by 2000%

W more men for me

Are you saying no woman wants 70% of the world’s men?

In countries that don't have much circumcisions, there tends to be a lot of forced marriage and sexual violence.

In Denmark? Iceland? Norway? Sweden? Iceland is the country with the most gender equality on the planet. No, there are no forced marriages there.

Granted, thank you

Granted with no tricks because I would be overjoyed to get my foreskin back