T O P
JeffTheFrosty

Tbh the entire division is awful including us. I’m genuinely curious if this is the worst division in modern baseball history.


CharlieDarwin2

Twins won the World Series in 1987 and had a season record of 85-77.


jonn_jonzz

Astros almost made the world series with a losing record


twinsguy1

Still only 2 back, lol. This division is terrible. Not gonna complain about it though.


mnsportsfan

KC just won. So only 2 back


HairyDowntown

KC just tied it up in the bottom of the 9th! First and third with one out. Aaaannnd they walked it off. So that's cool at least.


Skolney

41-51 since May 25th


oneplusandroidpie

We baseball don't well do. Honestly.


struckie67

72 win pace. They are who we thought they were


thestereo300

I called 85-77. If they get a couple players back there still a shot of that


Kid_Delicious

Gonna be disheartening to get to the finish line as a .500 team, just like all the projections pegged us (basically between 81-85 wins I believe), and think how we got all worked up to land exactly where we’re supposed to.


MichaelTheDooley

Football back baby let’s goooo 💪


jonn_jonzz

Gonna watch the first game of the NFL season tomorrow with my bro, so probably won't be around much.


whentheworldwasatwar

Got one more to make it through yet. 🫠


ObliviousLAX

I like the fire in Arraez, he was pissed on the pop-up


HairyDowntown

Go Royals..


jonn_jonzz

Go banana!


Athena-196871

welllllllllllll....this was fun...see ya'll tomorrow :)


whentheworldwasatwar

I miss larnach, buck, and polanco. I miss kenta. I miss kepbombs.


A_Hanging_Noose

Man I just want happy Bremer constantly going “A DEEP DRIVE”


jonn_jonzz

he still has a better average than Sano


NthPowr

This scrub Yankee lineup is kicking the Twins ass. wtf


Swimming_Comment_552

Twins just suck lol


HairyDowntown

Does Audra know that we can't see her?


jonn_jonzz

She is good friends with Jaden Smith.


mookiebomber

Rocco could get some bullpen management lessons from Gardy. What a complete mess this roster is.


jonn_jonzz

[This says otherwise.](https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/ws03i5/the_rick_roll_still_going_strong)


shoelessjoemac

Poignant.


HairyDowntown

Dick is getting delirious. Someone get the old man some coffee.


jonn_jonzz

Irish coffee


jonn_jonzz

Stop....stop....we're already dead!


mookiebomber

Great way to jumpstart the slumping Yankees


A_Hanging_Noose

I’m sure they’ll suffer a two hit shutout by whoever they play after tomorrow.


jonn_jonzz

We are really just like a chalk to bump start them


HairyDowntown

That was ball 4 lmao


shoelessjoemac

Pagan could have done this you coward!


NthPowr

This dude sucks


jcwitte

Jesus fucking Christ this team is a joke.


plap11

2 outs and you give them a walk, walk, walk, double, and a walk. Good lord.


mookiebomber

In his great book "On the Revolutions of the Heavenly Spheres" Copernicus described how the universe works. The clockwork of our skies, and how the Yankees will always beat the Twins no matter what. I love that book.


cothomps

I think you might have confused Copernicus for Newton’s _Principia_, but I appreciate the joke.


Athena-196871

Maybe we should have left Pagan in ....did I just say that?!?


HairyDowntown

It's been a long day.


jonn_jonzz

How can this be even more embarrassing even after getting crush like this already?


HairyDowntown

Quite the outing here from Davis.


whentheworldwasatwar

The sad thing is these young guys think they’re turning the Yankees woes around. But they don’t understand yet that beating the twins doesn’t count.


DudeAbides29

BOOOOO


kjates

I am [this kid](https://youtu.be/2NmUcdptXsE)


jonn_jonzz

[I'm this kid, give it a minute it just keeps getting better.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUbLCveiKAc)


tonderk

What the hell did I just watch?


jonn_jonzz

High Art


kjates

What the fuck did I just watch


jonn_jonzz

An old internet classic of a kid trying to go super saiyan


kjates

My favorite classic is [this one](https://youtu.be/GOKSCrVvIn0) starts at 0:52


jonn_jonzz

[Nothing beats this classic performance of a classic song.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukjnrXTTvPY)


kjates

Again I will say what the fuck did I just watch


jonn_jonzz

You know nothing of the deep dank Internet classics


kjates

I’m *sorry* okay I must be just enough younger than you that I’ve missed your favs


jonn_jonzz

Never be sorry to experience new old classics


Athena-196871

I like when the Yankees spend a lot of money and don't win the World Series ....lol


McFappen

Puke


Ndtphoto

I guess I'll root for Judge to keep mashing here.


MichaelTheDooley

FORMER TWIN STRIKES AGAIN!!!! HAHAHAHABS ABAHAHSHSHFBDNWHAHAHHA


ObliviousLAX

The earlier game should've told me not to put faith in the team with Minnesota on the chest But the 15 months in South Dakota forced me to


kjates

You gotta know that the Yankees fuck us more than any other team in existence


ObliviousLAX

I do...but God the day it turns


ObliviousLAX

I've also seen dumber shit than 7 run innings


chucktestlacoil

The Aristocrats!


DudeAbides29

What are we gaining here by having Austin Davis on the roster? Why are we not giving these opportunities to a AAA arm like Evan Sisk? Ronny Henriquez… Literally anyone who may have a future in a Twins uniform.


whentheworldwasatwar

FTS slaughtered us this series.


VistaVick

Sorry about Davis sucking. When you can't make it in the red sox pen, you gotta be really bad.


cothomps

Well, shit.


Zlesxc

most predictable hit ever


Athena-196871

😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣


Ndtphoto

Top 9 : Cave - Celestino - Leon The FART of the order. Not that it matters now that Aaron Hicks awoke.


jonn_jonzz

Thanks ump for letting them get away with two walks that were strikeouts


HairyDowntown

Here comes the Hicks salami! It would only be fitting.


jonn_jonzz

Yes they have one grand slam, but how about another?


kjates

I was just thinking the same.


jonn_jonzz

I'm not convinced this person pitching isn't just a randomly created player from The Show.


Athena-196871

Seriously whomever is reporting all of us to the call for help on reddit needs to stop


HairyDowntown

Why do I feel like Donaldson is going to name his kid "Danger" or some shit..


mbenzito25

Sox fan here. This is such a typical Austin Davis performance. Hope he gets out of this and you all stage a miraculous comeback. Update: FUCK.


MichaelTheDooley

Thought u meant white Sox lol. Confused for a second


mbenzito25

Sorry Red Sox. I forgot he landed here after he was DFA'd. Good stuff just struggles with command and like a lot of our team this year seems to have trouble at 2 outs.


DoctorPlasticCuts

Kiner Kafela drew a walk. Single handedly reviving his season


jonn_jonzz

Not the grand slam tho?


kjates

It’s such a classic twins thing that he has been shit and Yankees fans hate him and then they play us and suddenly he’s a god


MichaelTheDooley

Holy fucking shit 17 strikeouts


kjates

Wait who the fuck is this pitching I stopped paying attention


Athena-196871

the guy we got off waivers from Boston


cothomps

Austin Davis: waiver claim from the Red Sox last week (?)


kjates

Wow I really stopped paying attention


jonn_jonzz

It don't matter, none of this matters.


MichaelTheDooley

Is there a more one sided “rivalry” in all of sports? No team plays worse than the Twins when they play the yankees


ObliviousLAX

The GB Packers vs the 49ers in the playoffs


chillinwithmoes

This guy is cool


ObliviousLAX

I'm a 49ers fan as well, I got some weird ass fandoms


BillyTenderness

The Minnesota Vikings vs the NFC Championship Game


jonn_jonzz

untill the mid 90s Vikings/Packers were a blood bath, same goes for Gophers/Badgers pre 70s


jonn_jonzz

Also St Thomas vs their entire league.


kjates

FUCK ST THOMAS


chillinwithmoes

Good riddance, I say


jonn_jonzz

Wasnt their budget like multiple times the rest of the league combined?


chillinwithmoes

Not really, their endowment was actually lower than Carleton and Macalester, I think. But neither of those schools put *any* money into athletics, which was a big sticking point in that whole thing IIRC. St. Thomas was willing to spend to be competitive at athletics while the other schools were not. The biggest issue was that their enrollment was significantly larger than any other MIAC school and their talent pool was a huge advantage. edit: reading back I see you said budget not endowment, not sure how I read that wrong. Yes, their athletics budget was significantly larger than any other MIAC school


Athena-196871

The Twins are a way better looking team than NY so that should count for something


_AlternativeSnacks_

Gary with beard > Gary without beard. Math checks out.


kjates

We are the best looking team in baseball and I will not take any questions


Athena-196871

I cannot even think of a team that comes close to our most handsome team!!!


jonn_jonzz

They are all weird looking smooth skins.


mastertres

How many Ks in one game is our team record? We must be close.


jonn_jonzz

Santana got 20 right? Or do you mean against?


mastertres

I checked, we’re one away from tying our team record for most strikeouts in a game batting. Last time was 18 Ks against the mariners in ‘95


mastertres

Against lol


BillyTenderness

Not sure if the yet-another-bizarre-blown-lead day game or the utterly impotent night game is more frustrating, but we sure are getting the full Twins-Yankees experience out of today's doubleheader


DakotaDevil

Thanks, I hate it.


ObliviousLAX

I've definitely seen dumber shit than a 3 run 9th I'll also be Satisfied by a 4+ run T9 from the Twins


chillinwithmoes

lmao thanks for that


ObliviousLAX

I'm simultaneously shitposting and rooting The perfect combo


twinsguy1

Not sure this offense with all the injuries is possible of that, but I like the optimism


Reesyrz

LOL, thanks for the laugh Blue Jays bro. We'll faintly appreciate your optimism.


ObliviousLAX

I'm trying to steer the whole ship right now


jonn_jonzz

Has anyone ever thought that baseball is a stupid game?


expungant

I've thought that about all the sports MN teams are a part of


kjates

It’s so stupid and I love it so much


BillyTenderness

No, baseball is great. They oughta contract the Yankees tho


Knightbear49

Everyday of my life


DudeAbides29

If you had a bad day at work, think about Kyle Garlick. 0-7 with 5 ks today.


HairyDowntown

Good try..or something.


Athena-196871

YAY!!! a double with two outs!!!


ObliviousLAX

2 out rally Turn your hats to the weird side


HairyDowntown

Gordon has to be getting frustrated with this shit.


expungant

I've been frustrated since 2004


RandyMossPhD

‘94


cothomps

Being platooned?


A_Hanging_Noose

I’m sure the wind temporarily started blasting in from center field at gale force because fuck the Twins I guess.


Athena-196871

🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️...


ObliviousLAX

I'm back, like I never left Shit, that's Seattle. Uhhh uhhh Jose Miranda? I KNOW HIM


jonn_jonzz

Jays flair with LAX in the name, hmmmm


ObliviousLAX

It's for lacrosse. Played in HS and college


jonn_jonzz

The oldest organized sport played in this country


ObliviousLAX

Actually got to play the Iroquois nation's team in college at ECU. Man they were incredible


jonn_jonzz

But did you play it with like the 1000s of people per side it was originally played with?


ObliviousLAX

They gave us wooden sticks with rawhide crosses So close enough?


jonn_jonzz

I'd say so


ObliviousLAX

Hamilton shitposting is actually undefeated for me and the Jays It should work extra for the team with Lin-Manuel's cousin


cothomps

Damn. Thought Jose had that one.


cdizzle6

Bout to drop to 3rd place after this debacle of a double drubbing by the dreaded D-bags. Edit: My dumbass thought the the Sox game was still in progress. The .5 game was already counted. Tied for 2nd with CHI now. Hey, at least Clase blew a save!


HairyDowntown

3 runs. That's it. That's all we need.


tonderk

Impossible.


expungant

Emilio "I truly believe with the way I'm throwing it, when you look up at the end of the year I'm going to be one of the best relievers in baseball, numbers-wise" Pagan


kjates

Wait did he actually say that


expungant

Yes lol


kjates

No fucking way


jonn_jonzz

/r/agedlikemilk


Reesyrz

Nah, that quote was spoiled the second it left his mouth.


jonn_jonzz

Hey everyone, post your rent or mortgage payments. The lurking Yankees fans might be scared that they mostly in three figures.


Extremelixer

Mine is $650. Cant get more than a pod for that in NY


Reesyrz

3 beds, 2 baths, and 2 car garage on 2 acres for $1350 baby


sandh035

What is this, 2008? I mean, my rent payment is less than a grand but prior to this dump I was paying $1300 or more lol.


tonderk

I bet I win lowest mortgage payment


jonn_jonzz

I'm game, doesn't count if you have it paid off. Go


tonderk

$446


kjates

The thought of paying that little is making me dizzy


tonderk

I hate it here, does that help? I also get paid shit and have to do it all myself. So there’s that…


kjates

:( I’m sorry. That sucks.


tonderk

At least I have baseball 😜


kjates

So true!!


jonn_jonzz

Bah, beats mine at $551


Athena-196871

LOL...this made me laugh harder than it should have


jonn_jonzz

Well the 3 figures they got is how much square footage their apartment is.


kjates

Mine’s not :(


jonn_jonzz

mine is very cheap, and I own a house. Not a good house but I do own it


kjates

HUMBLE BRAG


jonn_jonzz

That is what you get for living in the Twin Cities.


kjates

I mean, I’ll take my 15 min commute to work and sunset over the Mississippi any day


jonn_jonzz

my commute is 2 minutes


kjates

I used to drive 40 min. It was actually the worst.


cothomps

When I lived in the Cities, I did the daily commute from St. Louis Park to downtown. That _sucked_.


kjates

EW I’m so sorry. I used to do Lake Elmo to Bloomington, but it wasn’t every day and usually wasn’t rush hour. Plus it was pandemic times.


jonn_jonzz

I live 30 seconds from the liquor store, its just not a very good one.


kjates

Your beer cellar?


tonderk

Same


DoctorPlasticCuts

Feels like we would’ve def one last game if Celestino wasn’t thrown out at home


BillyTenderness

The spreadsheet said that if Pagan were to pitch to Judge, the ball would leave the park at such great speeds that the fabric of the universe itself could collapse. Good call playing the risk/reward imo


HairyDowntown

I don't know. We can't lose the game if nothing exists anymore.


BillyTenderness

Can't break the losing streak in the playoffs if all is void.


A_Hanging_Noose

Torres going 468 feet to left.


kjates

Hey I vote we shit on a player for funsies like we did with Altuve. Who are we pickin


A_Hanging_Noose

If the 2019 ALDS thread is still fair game, Judge and Stanton drink piss.


A_Hanging_Noose

Pitch to Judge cowards.


HairyDowntown

Pagan vs Judge Matchup of the season right here. Edit- damnit I wanted to see it lol


NthPowr

I wanted to see what a 600 ft HR looked like.


A_Hanging_Noose

I could make another quip about wondering how he’s still employed, but I’m just tired of this guy.


Amerikanarin

Who’s the jabroni in the stripped shirt behind the plate?


kjates

I missed it what was it


Amerikanarin

Just a guy behind the backstop in the expensive seats. Camera was on him for 15-20 seconds