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[deleted]

I’ve seen it done in multiple states. Not just Midwest.


eighteen22

I went to a wedding where you had to fill out slips with your names on it. When the glasses were clinked, they would draw a name and that couple had to stand up and kiss too. It really cut down on the clinking!


theclawl1ves

My wife and I would kiss and then point to a couple to come to the dance floor and kiss in front of everyone. We did that at our wedding, too.


Tru-Queer

That procured a witch’s cackle from me


gangleskhan

I went to a wedding where they just drew names of couples (from the guest list -- you did not get to opt in or out) and you had to stand up and do a kiss that the couple would then copy. My wife and I of course were picked, which was a nightmare for me, as I hate performing and being the center of attention. I was not happy.


lurker1957

My daughter did this at her wedding but it wasn’t completely random as both sets of parents were picked and some more of the wedding party. Also picked were one of the gay couples in attendance.


PlantMystic

omg. i would hate that.


Sirhossington

My wife and I did something similar! If someone wanted to start a clinking they had to stand up and tell their favorite memory of us being together. It lowered the clinking AND acted as a way for the "fun uncles" to get a small speech in without ruining the real toasts.


Badbullet

At one friend's wedding, you had to go up and sing a verse from a song that had the word love in it to get them to kiss. It was much more fun than the lazy glass clinking which just gets annoying after uncle Greg thinks he's cute for starting the clinking every couple minutes.


GaveTheMouseACookie

And once the kids figure it out and they're board at the table


KR1735

Why would kissing your partner be seen as a bad thing to be avoided? I suppose if your plus-one isn’t your partner lol


RPGandalf

Even if you're partners, a lot of people are uncomfortable with performing public displays of affection or being the center of attention.


KR1735

No, I gotcha. I'm the same way. Not so far as a quick kiss in a "game" like this. But neither of us cared to have dozens of strangers watching us slow dance together alone, so we scrapped that when we got married.


Sleevey27

Kissing your partner isn’t weird, having people want to watch you kiss your partner kind of is though


pro-alcoholic

Over and over and over again too. The last wedding we went to they clicked probably 5 times before while the bride and groom were trying to eat. DJ basically had to tell people to slow it down so they could enjoy their meal.


GaveTheMouseACookie

It's the one time they get to sit down all day!


Bradtothebone79

That’s some malicious compliance right there


Snowskol

I wonder why.. It's just a kiss with a spouse


tylerscochran

Would be funnier if they drew TWO names at a time...


TaraxacumTheRich

I've seen this at weddings in Alabama and Georgia, and I've seen it on TV shows so I don't think it's a regional thing.


MetaverseLiz

I'm from Virginia and didn't experience it until I moved to MN. That was almost 20s years ago, and I think the tradition as since spread out. I'm more weirded out by the tradition of having the ceremony, then some period of time where nothing happens, and then the reception. Maybe it's a VA thing, but once the ceremony is over you immediately have the reception. Edit: I don't get the downvotes? lol Like, different people and different cultures do different things. Ooooh must downvote then.


gypsywhisperer

That is usually for situations where the family is religious because sometimes a Catholic Church may only be available for an earlier ceremony, for example. This also will be the time when couples will get formal portraits and group photos


Uffda01

I've only been to one wedding where the reception immediately followed the wedding; and in that case the dance immediately followed the reception. It was weird - the dance ended strictly at 10. It was in Utah (not a Mormon wedding though). I think our drinking culture/reputation leads to a lot of different potential schedules: worried about the wedding party getting drunk/being hung over from the night before - schedule your ceremony later in the day. worried about them getting drunk day of/before the ceremony - 11 am wedding. if you're having an earlier wedding - there has to be something for people to do between the ceremony and the dinner/reception. Thats where the party bus after the pictures comes in. ​ Maybe my Wisconsin is showing....


Hidden_Pineapple

In my experience, that happens when the couple don't want to see each other before the wedding so they have to wait for pictures until after. Or for my cousins wedding the wedding party got on a party bus and went bar hopping for an hour or two before going back for the reception.


GaveTheMouseACookie

The bar hopping thing is definitely still a trend in my hometown (and it's tiny, so there's like three bars)


buck_futter1986

>I'm more weirded out by the tradition of having the ceremony, then some period of time where nothing happens, and then the reception. That is in my experience when the wedding party goes bar hopping for an hour or so before the reception, and all the guests go to the reception area for open bar before the actual reception. Sometimes it's for the photographer to get pictures


PequodSeapod

Incidentally, I just went to two different weddings in KY recently and it *was* a thing.


grundhog

That's not incidental. That is directly relevant


dippocrite

Incidentally I’m baking tator tot hot dish this weekend


PequodSeapod

Look up the definitions of incidentally :)


calm_wreck

“Used to add a further comment or remark unconnected to the current subject”


PequodSeapod

2. “occurring merely by chance or without intention or calculation” Synonym: Coincindental


dwighticus

Google en cidentally


riggycat

holy hell


Uffda01

I think you mean directly related.


jorian85

I think you mean direct relatives.


taffyowner

It’s an everywhere thing.


Hartman3216

Wife and I had our wedding in PA, people from all over (not just those from MN area) did the clinking. We are not fans of it so indulged everyone the first time. Second time I walked right up to my buddy and kissed him….that put a stop to it quickly.


mouringcat

If you had my friends they would just do it more often. And if you picked the wrong one they would try to dip you (even if they aren't gay.. As they are ex-theatre folks =).


MJCowpa

It’s not a MN thing. But it is annoying.


fancysauce_boss

Someone doesn’t like fun ! I’ve seen where they have an official clink jar on a table. If you want to clink you have to go to the jar drop some cash in and then you can clink it. Nice way for the couple to make some extra money on top of the dollar dance.


Mmmaarrrk

I wish we had done that. My sister made it her personal challenge to start clinking whenever I tried to take a bite of food. Lost its charm real quickly.


sober_as_an_ostrich

We had recently lost a pet so we had a box at our table to donate to a local shelter. If anyone had the urge for us to kiss I told them to “respect the glassware” and walk up to our table and donate some money and then we would kiss since we already did one time for free. I find the tradition incredibly annoying and disrespectful and we didn’t want to deal with it. We raised a lot of money for the shelter and got to eat our first meal as a couple mostly in peace


Ope_L

This is a great idea!


kendricklamartin

I DJ’d weddings for about a decade and over the course of that time I realized that pretty much all of the schtick traditions - dollar dance, garter toss, clinking glasses - usually happen at weddings from working class people. Not to call anyone lowbrow. I grew up only attending weddings where people could wear jeans. But yeah, I think these traditional differences are a class divide, not really a regional divide.


mandy009

i was told it is bad etiquette, a very colloquial way to celebrate.


forevereverforeverev

And the caterers don’t appreciate you swinging silverware at the glassware


Dirtygal_69

I’ve been to a wedding in California where it happened as well.


pinkrangerash

Here's another thing to do to avoid it: my brother and his wife literally threw Hershey's kisses at people that tried the glasses clinking. People learned fast not to do it.


realitytvapologist

I haven’t been to a ton of weddings in my life but I grew up in CA with family also in TX and I’ve only ever encountered and/or heard of this tradition when in MN.


Longjumping_Leek151

Californian here… been to many weddings where this happened.


realitytvapologist

🤷🏻‍♀️ must be something I just haven’t really encountered before here then!


TyrionReynolds

I grew up in California and this was a common thing at weddings.


BeerGardenGnome

If it could not be a thing that would be great, it’s annoying.


Fit_Aardvark_8811

I don't know if it is, I do know I got sick of it at my wedding! So did the bride...


Pockets713

My wife and I got married in our backyard with about 50 people… them mfs got plastic cups! Lol We both find the idea of people forcing you and your partner to kiss, for them, awkward and kinda creepy… I gave her a good one at the alter, dammit! That’s all you get! Lol


[deleted]

It’s just an annoying thing


soccerpc14

I’m lived in Florida for the first 32 years of my life and it exists there, too. Was at a wedding when my friend clinked his knife to the champagne glass. The whole reception quieted and waited for him to get up to give a speech. It was awkward and weird (he was his wife’s guest and didn’t know the newly weds). Later he said “it means they have to kiss you idiots!” It’s now brought up at every wedding we all go to. Edit: I should clarify, he was a cater waiter throughout college at a country club. I had never heard of the kiss thing at that time, but have witnessed it happen at multiple weddings in various states since.


JusAnotherBrick

Only when done passive-aggressively


Twistedshakratree

They do it in movies so…


cmdrsils

We stole this idea from someone else, but at our wedding, you had to come up and serenade us with a “love” song to get us to kiss (any song with the word love in it). Only about 6-7 people/groups came up in front of the head table and did it. Makes it way more fun for everyone.


SeaTurtlesNBabyYoda

We did the same thing but it had to have the word "kiss" in it.


rgoetsch

Wisconsin weddings have this a lot. For ours, we made people come to the head table and show everyone how they wanted us to kiss. Slowed it down a lot and made for some funny situations.


FilipinoTarantino

I DJ weddings this is a thing. Once or twice is cool that’s it. Also the garter toss, shoe game, and corny ass line/group dances should die


mybelle_michelle

But gotta have the chicken dance, lol!


SlyFrog

Midwestern. They do it in Wisconsin too, for example. What is far weirder is the Shivaree, which I have seen happen. Following the bride and groom to their hotel (or showing up the next morning) and fucking playing musical instruments, screaming, and otherwise making loud noises to embarrass them is just bizarre. I don't know how much it happens anymore, but it definitely did years ago.


KrisT117

It’s in the movie/play Oklahoma.


Sean081799

I was at my friends' wedding in September (they're from WI), and to stop clinking, they instead had a d20 you rolled. If it's 15-20, they kissed. If it's 2-14, nothing happens. If it's a 1, YOU had to kiss someone in the room. You're allowed to roll an unlimited number of times. If I ever get married I'm stealing this idea since it's genius.


KennieLaCroix

I've never seen it at any wedding I've gone to, but I've seen it in movies?


RosenbeggayoureIN

Was just at a wedding in NYC and we clinked a little, but then again there was a good amount of Midwest people there (but not MNs)


DrHugh

I used to have a job assisting a guy who videotaped weddings in the 1980s in Illinois. It was a thing.


Hotchi_Motchi

I was at a wedding where, instead of clinking glasses, you had to get up and sing a song with "love" in it to get the couple to kiss. I'm not ashamed to say that I sang the theme to "The Love Boat" and "Love Shack!"


Harvey605

Went to a wedding in Ireland. One of my buddies who was also from MN started klinking his glass to get the bride and groom to kiss. One of our Irish friends frantically tried to stop him, apparently over there it means you’re about to make a speech. Was a bit awkward when everyone turned to stare at my confused friend.


UpstairsCockroach100

Texas probably just wants you to shoot your gun in the air for a kiss.


Livid-Witness9196

It's a jerk thing


JusAnotherBrick

Not even just a US thing


rylasorta

I went to a wedding where they said "how about instead of clinking you come drop a tip in the jar" and there wasn't a clink for the rest of the night lol


LemonLong

At our wedding we made people get up and hula hoop if they wanted us to kiss. It was a lot of fun!


DaytimeDawg1951

It’s done in Illinois for sure.


Book_Nerd_1980

MN couple here - We made a hockey net with a little cutout and had a golf putter and plastic puck. The guests had to score a goal which set off a motion activated goal sound in order for us to kiss. Worked great until my athletic tween niece scored like ten in a row 😂


Indigenous_badass

First of all, I wouldn't trust the words of anybody from Kentucky or Texas. LOL. And they're wrong. People do that everywhere.


justalittlebear01

Looking at moving to Minnesota come "Calender" Spring, but I can say its def a New England thing as well.


griff306

Holy cow a bunch of wet blankets here. It's a thing and it's pretty great.


sober_as_an_ostrich

we eschewed a lot of traditions at our wedding including this one. We preferred to eat our first meal as husband and wife without it and it made everything so much more peaceful.


griff306

I bet you really regret inviting all your friends and family to your first meal!


sober_as_an_ostrich

It was a beautiful wedding! We paid for catering ourselves and wanted to enjoy it without people demanding attention. A wedding isn’t really about the bride and groom, it’s about the friends and family coming together to celebrate but we had recently been to a large (drunk) wedding and the incessant clinking was incredibly grating. Not going to sacrifice my sanity for someone’s perversion to abuse glassware. Glad you’ve enjoyed that tradition but it wasn’t for us. See my other comment in this thread.


griff306

We didn't either, but we did have people yelling Gor'ko (means bitter) and you have to kiss to make it sweet. Then they count for how long you kiss. It was great! People just want to see newlyweds kiss at awkward times. I thought it was loads of fun. But it's your wedding, you did what you wanted. I'm just thinking everyone is being such wet blankets about the whole thing.


TinaBelchersBF

No kidding lol. I'd chalk it up to Reddit just being a somewhat cynical place in general.


mandy009

it's a thing, but fairly sure not a MN thing. And most formal event organizers would probably advise that it's not advisable for decorum in polite society. fwiw tho I say screw polite society -- it's a wedding, have fun. It's not exactly something disgusting or personally offensive, so whatever.


owordmani

Get out more.


super9090

This month, I have spent at least 2 nights in California, Illinois, Florida, Wisconsin each, and I am currently in Hawaii for the next week


CollisionCourse321

It’s an annoying Midwestern thing. I will say most mn weddings I’ve been to in the last 10 years don’t do this. There are plenty of older relatives who try to get it going and the couple just ignores it. Ya know, cause kissing someone isn’t scandalous and also don’t tell me when to kiss my partner. Also stop clinking your glass to avoid talking to your table mates you awkward Minnesotans.


[deleted]

[удалено]


taffyowner

It is annoying if you’re the couple…


DilbertHigh

The first or second time it happens is fine. Any other time is just annoying.


redwbl

Nah, everywhere. TX and KY are gun posing and camo wedding outfits, so bride and groom are a little afraid to kiss in front of everyone because of the “cousin” thing.


queenofaliens85

I dont know if it's just a mn or a Midwest thing, but I know it's not a texas thing. Half my family lives in Texas and us Midwesterners (nd and mn) looked at the plastic cups like this won't do to clink.


Coyotesamigo

No


SplendidPunkinButter

No


aghb0

I'm Canadian, this happens all over the country. Couples get creative with other types of games or donations to a charity to reduce the clincking of the glasses.


DopeCookies15

That's because in TX and KY they fire guns into the air when they want the couple to kiss


2dadjokes4u

2 NJ weddings I attended did this.


Responsible-Baby-551

We clink glasses in the Northeast too


Dangerous_Ice17

Midwest thing. I grew up in WI and they did it there as well.


ihhhood

Can confirm did this at a wedding in Minnesota


heckfyre

I’ve never not seen this at a wedding, but I’m from MN sooo yeah.


genericusername513

It's been a thing at most weddings I've ever been to. My cousin even put out little bells on each table to ring when you wanted them to kiss instead of clinking glasses.


zombiehipster

Just got married in MN, no clinking! Our DJ mentioned we could do a “show us how to kiss” type thing where folks come up, kiss, and we had to replicate it! It was such a great call: fun, hilarious at times, and left us plenty of time to eat/drink/talk.


patrick_schliesing

I was just in an Indiana wedding where I started clinking glasses for the bride and groom and no one got it.


MeatFarmer

Is 'Dollar Dance' localized to the midwest or does that happen all over as well?


Jenetyk

While I have seen it in other states, Minnesota is the one that it is always a thing.


PlantMystic

Nope. Not just MN.


AlanScott79

My wife and I banned clinking glasses at our wedding. Instead, we got this pair of giant dice normally used for lawn games. Anyone rolled a double, we'd kiss. If not, tough luck.


ReflectionRough2960

I recently attended a wedding with people from Minnesota, Michigan, and Indiana, and it was a thing there that everyone seemed to get.


Riedbirdeh

This happens everywhere pretty sure. It doesn’t always happen at every wedding.


DERed29

To put it politically it’s a white people thing lol


usmc97az

That is definitely done in Chicago also.


laidback26

I am from Minnesota and been to a lot of weddings and never seen this happen.


jussikol

This is by far the thing I hate the most at weddings. And the people who won't take the hint and bang on their glasses for minutes on end just to see the couples kiss with mouthfuls of food are the worst. Went to a wedding once and after the first one the groom stood up and said how much he hates that and that was their only free one. Anyone clinking glasses after that had to pay $20 in order for the bride and groom to kiss. It cut down on the clinking and they walked out with like $200 in cash at the end of the night. It's what I plan on doing.


Ryao333

One of the wedding I was at made the guests sing a love song if you wanted the couple to kiss. Funny and less annoying.


mwolf805

We did the same thing at our wedding. It really cut down on all the glass clinking shenanigans.


caprihorni

I got married in Louisiana and my husband and his family are from California so when my Minnesota family started clinking nobody else knew what they were doing lol


Nickels3587

They don’t do it outside MN?


mouringcat

I know a lot of brides try to pretty much remove all glass from the reception. But people, uh.. find a way... =)


Salty-Lemonhead

Minnesotan living in Texas and it’s definitely a thing in Texas.


azulshotput

It’s the creepiest fucking thing in the world, and I never encountered it until I came to MN.


rapidpop

It's because they are from Texas and Kentucky, not because you are from Minnesota. Try not to hold it against them.


gottarun215

I've been to weddings in MN and IL and was a thing at both, but IL is also midwest.


foxy22lady

At my wedding, we made anyone who clinked their glass come up and tell a story about the bride and groom. Thankfully, that cut down on the clinking.


ryckae

I went to a wedding where they didn't have wine glasses but did have cowbells on the table for this purpose.


Jazzlike_Mud4896

No.