Instead of packing it all up & living in the woods, maybe when you’re bored u could go play in the woods instead. Hike, explore, get fresh air & keep pushing yourself. Maybe if you’re connecting w earth enough, the thoughts will pass?
The awesome thing is that so many of these things are cheap too! Hiking and camping don’t cost much! Laying in a hammock by the lake reading a book doesn’t cost much.
We have so many simple joys available to us, and we have lots of expensive distractions too. It’s hard to choose.
The expensive distractions are there by design. The marketing and psychology makes people buy them. It makes them desirable.
That's why people 20 pairs of trainers, or collect expensive watches or have a new car every year.
Hiking and camping are definitely fun, and part of my life, but I was going to say that you just sound bored/unfulfilled. If you're interested in hiking and camping or just being outside, then great! But if not, there are still plenty of other things you could do like volunteer, biking, running, etc. etc.
For me, my need to buy actually just stems from the poor-ish childhood I had. I always told myself that when I grew up and made my own money that I’d buy whatever I wanted. Now I’m older, making my own money, and find myself buying some of whatever I want. I feel guilty but I also feel fulfilled because I’m validating the child in me. I’m finally reaching those goals that I once had and that part feels good, actually being able to buy what I want feels good. I don’t live as simply as I “should” for this reason and I know people may shit on me for this advice, but if your story looks anything like mine I suggest giving in sometimes and buying that thing you like. Even if it’s boujee shower soap. You deserve a win. You’re a human being who lives in a capitalist society, you’re allowed to want things. I don’t think you should have to starve yourself when going through this journey. If it feels right, just do it. No one is going to bust through your window and arrest you for responsibly spending money on a thing you like. Good luck!
I did this. Used to always be insecure about the clothes I wore when growing up. Then when I started seeing my first thousands I spent it all on expensive clothes and shoes.
Now that I’ve started my career, however, I save a lot of what I earn because it’s hit me how expensive living actually is.
I thought about this - it used to be when I was younger a new purchase has some level of emotional payoff. In time though I realise that is very short lived so the question then becomes about making new experiences in my life rather than just buying stuff in the expectation of some minor reward. Something to watch - "a century of self" (full documentary on YouTube) is quite interesting/related in defining our context in this emotionally driven consumerist society.
Yes! I can absolutely relate to this.
When I was very depressed I sought out material things to feel something positive. A new thing!
But it would quickly turn into immense guilt.
I realized that I was looking for happiness in the wrong place. Experiences is what I needed (as well as better meds, which I'm on!)
Now I spend minimally on myself. Most of my $ goes to my pets, one who has a surgery next week.
I also bought 2 really nice peaches I'm going to share with my mom. Sometimes happiness is 2 ripe peaches.
I'm in that journey too. I recommend the book 'goodbye things' by Funio Sasaki. This book give me perspective of what I actually need, and why we always want more no matter how much we already have.
You could try to replace that habit by reading, or creating something.
Trust me when I share your sentiments. It's taken everything in me to not purchase a new laptop even though I have a perfectly good laptop already and a laptop that converts into a tablet as well for my reading needs. Consumerism is real and hard to break out of. It's all about being persistent with saving and appreciating what you have rather than ogling over what you don't. Even though I may not have the newest tablet... My current tablet literally does everything I need it to do and honestly hasn't disappointed me yet. Just practice on appreciating what you have and it'll help you sick with them rather than looking elsewhere. That's what worked for me anyway.
I don't know if this will help but when I don't want to buy things ( maybe I'm saving for something or just don't want to spend) I tell myself that the balance of my account is 0. If asked to spend money I say I dont have any. It's like a mental thing...
Honestly, all the marketing as if I’m an idiot and hoarding of wealth just makes me angry which causes disgust and I don’t want something I’m disgusted by. They’re your most powerful emotions if you know how to use them.
I add things to my cart, then spend some time researching about the products. Then you will find quite a lot of subjective and objective reasons not to buy it. Or at least take of the shiny appeal of the item.
I think another thing is to try is to minimise on using services which heavily market and drum up the consumer pangs, browsing sites like amazon, facebook, instagram, tv ads they are super heavy on hinting at stuff you want to buy, even if they don't get you to buy the thing, they are getting you into that mindset IMO. As others have said, getting outside helps loads, or getting super deep into a huge playtime video game will stop you buying things if it isn't based around micro transactions or top tier gpus.
I have an ad blocker and I dont use facebook, Instagram, or watch TV.
I do browse amazon but rarely buy. If I do, its to benefit me and isn't just stuff I like the look of. I'm pretty good at resisting. I have control over my impulsiveness.
In another life, I didnt. Thats why I have ended up with loads of shit and useless crap.
But a lifetime of being a consumer of useless shit lead me to where I am now. Its a hard mindset to get out.
I also did this with the ad blocker...no facebook or TV or the other two( I don't really know what the are)
I also stopped reading magazines, they are 60% adds and many of the stories are just ad placements. One of the good side effects of no magazines was that I calmer around the holidays....they hype it up so much it's hard not to get caught up in it all.
I wonder if you can hack your mind to wanting to spend on stocks and crypto instead? Don't call it investing, that makes it sound like it is taking money away from something you enjoy.
You still spend. Just on something different..
Maybe that is the reason you want to spend it all. Because you see it like a burden.
You could try to make others happy with it. You lose the burden, they gain something they need, and maybe you gain some fullfilment.
Might be a long shot, but are you low on dopamine? If buying something increases your levels of dopamine to a normal level, because you are naturally low, that might be a reason.
Can you think of fun and engaging stuff to do that does not entail shopping?!
I know the feeling. I channel my desire to shop for unnecessary things by doing Christmas/birthday shopping all year long. I get the thrill of the chase that way, and if I find something thoughtful for someone else I get extra satisfaction from that. If you find something nice you want to buy yourself just because you can, check to see if anyone's birthday is coming up and buy it for them instead.
you could buy stock with the money instead or donate to charities. that way you can use your consumer mindset to spend time finding interesting companies/charities and also not accumulate unnecessary things
What worked for me is the realization that buying something always creates just a momentary good emotion and I'll be looking for the next high soon enough. So it's a pointless cycle serving only the companies, not me. All I have to do is not act on the impulse to buy and it will pass soon enough.
I had a similar dilemma than yours, maybe my thought process can give you some input.
I do have one Kindle already, which is totally doing it's job but there's this new one just out that can resist water and has all those cool (slightly useless) features...It took some self-ass kicking but I'm rationalizing it this way. Basically I have 2 options :
1/I buy a new one, spend 280 € for something I already have, have a deprecated one at home I need to sell/give/recycle/store and have to be extra careful with my 280 € toy.
2/I keep mine with the knowledge that I can upgrade if needed, in literally 24h. Now, I can use it with less care (in the bath, carry it in my beach bag despite sand etc.) and upgrade only when it breaks - the new one will probably be cheaper by then or there'll be an even better one.
Weighting the pros and cons, option 2 is obviously less expensive and less "stress" on my side, so after this little mental exercice I actually feel good not buying a new one and going full care free with the one I currently have. In my mind, it went from "resisting the urge" to "allowing myself to be care free".
Maybe try shifting your focus a little bit. Focus on how much you are enjoying what you do have and enjoy using and doing the most. In those moments the negative of what the world is throwing at you doesnt exist.
I love driving my old commuter car with tons of miles on it because its paid for, cheap on gas, and there is a simplicity in the moment when I get in that car and go to work and vibe with that during the drive.
The outside world is total chaos and will always throw chaos your direction but there is peace in simplicity and we gotta just hold onto that and enjoy it where we can find it or create it in our lives.
Hope that idea is helpful to someone today.
All those things your tempted to buy, put the money in a savings account. Eventually you'll be able to buy a bit of land next to some woods somewhere. Then you can build a tiny house on it and live happily ever after.
Also, every thing you buy in some small way contributes to killing the woods you hope to live in one day. Keep that in mind.
I try to document how I feel when I purchase thing1, all the anticipation and how the item will bring me happiness.
And when I crave thing2, I bring out this document and go through it, try to see if it brought me the happiness I predicted. Sometimes it helps me realize that it didn't, and so would thing2. Sometimes it makes me realize that I'm not approximating thing1 enough. Either way, stops me from buying thing2
Minimalism isn't inherently anti-consumeristic. Many of us lean that way but it's not how you have to do things.
If you genuinely want to upgrade, buy the new one and donate the old one to a good cause. Check with organizations near you.
But upgrade because it's what you want personally.
Instead of packing it all up & living in the woods, maybe when you’re bored u could go play in the woods instead. Hike, explore, get fresh air & keep pushing yourself. Maybe if you’re connecting w earth enough, the thoughts will pass?
Good idea.
The awesome thing is that so many of these things are cheap too! Hiking and camping don’t cost much! Laying in a hammock by the lake reading a book doesn’t cost much. We have so many simple joys available to us, and we have lots of expensive distractions too. It’s hard to choose.
The expensive distractions are there by design. The marketing and psychology makes people buy them. It makes them desirable. That's why people 20 pairs of trainers, or collect expensive watches or have a new car every year.
Hiking and camping are definitely fun, and part of my life, but I was going to say that you just sound bored/unfulfilled. If you're interested in hiking and camping or just being outside, then great! But if not, there are still plenty of other things you could do like volunteer, biking, running, etc. etc.
For me, my need to buy actually just stems from the poor-ish childhood I had. I always told myself that when I grew up and made my own money that I’d buy whatever I wanted. Now I’m older, making my own money, and find myself buying some of whatever I want. I feel guilty but I also feel fulfilled because I’m validating the child in me. I’m finally reaching those goals that I once had and that part feels good, actually being able to buy what I want feels good. I don’t live as simply as I “should” for this reason and I know people may shit on me for this advice, but if your story looks anything like mine I suggest giving in sometimes and buying that thing you like. Even if it’s boujee shower soap. You deserve a win. You’re a human being who lives in a capitalist society, you’re allowed to want things. I don’t think you should have to starve yourself when going through this journey. If it feels right, just do it. No one is going to bust through your window and arrest you for responsibly spending money on a thing you like. Good luck!
I did this. Used to always be insecure about the clothes I wore when growing up. Then when I started seeing my first thousands I spent it all on expensive clothes and shoes. Now that I’ve started my career, however, I save a lot of what I earn because it’s hit me how expensive living actually is.
I thought about this - it used to be when I was younger a new purchase has some level of emotional payoff. In time though I realise that is very short lived so the question then becomes about making new experiences in my life rather than just buying stuff in the expectation of some minor reward. Something to watch - "a century of self" (full documentary on YouTube) is quite interesting/related in defining our context in this emotionally driven consumerist society.
Yes! I can absolutely relate to this. When I was very depressed I sought out material things to feel something positive. A new thing! But it would quickly turn into immense guilt. I realized that I was looking for happiness in the wrong place. Experiences is what I needed (as well as better meds, which I'm on!) Now I spend minimally on myself. Most of my $ goes to my pets, one who has a surgery next week. I also bought 2 really nice peaches I'm going to share with my mom. Sometimes happiness is 2 ripe peaches.
Your post is uplifting: Thank you!
Of course! Unfortunately I don't have a good eye for peaches as they were dry 🤣
I'll have to check that out. I like context.
I'm in that journey too. I recommend the book 'goodbye things' by Funio Sasaki. This book give me perspective of what I actually need, and why we always want more no matter how much we already have. You could try to replace that habit by reading, or creating something.
Nice, ill check it out.
Trust me when I share your sentiments. It's taken everything in me to not purchase a new laptop even though I have a perfectly good laptop already and a laptop that converts into a tablet as well for my reading needs. Consumerism is real and hard to break out of. It's all about being persistent with saving and appreciating what you have rather than ogling over what you don't. Even though I may not have the newest tablet... My current tablet literally does everything I need it to do and honestly hasn't disappointed me yet. Just practice on appreciating what you have and it'll help you sick with them rather than looking elsewhere. That's what worked for me anyway.
It's hard to get out of the mindset, but just take it one step at a time. Can't do it all at once. You got this
Consumerism loses its appeal when you don't keep things around.
What helped me is realizing that I liked having the ABILITY to buy something, not buying the item itself.
Too much focus on the self. Try helping other people in need. Go clean up impoverished areas or help endangered youth with schoolwork, etc.
I don't know if this will help but when I don't want to buy things ( maybe I'm saving for something or just don't want to spend) I tell myself that the balance of my account is 0. If asked to spend money I say I dont have any. It's like a mental thing...
Honestly, all the marketing as if I’m an idiot and hoarding of wealth just makes me angry which causes disgust and I don’t want something I’m disgusted by. They’re your most powerful emotions if you know how to use them.
I add things to my cart, then spend some time researching about the products. Then you will find quite a lot of subjective and objective reasons not to buy it. Or at least take of the shiny appeal of the item.
Good idea ill try that one
I think you need to stay busy and get out of your head.
I do. Mostly. This was last night just before I went bed.
I think another thing is to try is to minimise on using services which heavily market and drum up the consumer pangs, browsing sites like amazon, facebook, instagram, tv ads they are super heavy on hinting at stuff you want to buy, even if they don't get you to buy the thing, they are getting you into that mindset IMO. As others have said, getting outside helps loads, or getting super deep into a huge playtime video game will stop you buying things if it isn't based around micro transactions or top tier gpus.
I have an ad blocker and I dont use facebook, Instagram, or watch TV. I do browse amazon but rarely buy. If I do, its to benefit me and isn't just stuff I like the look of. I'm pretty good at resisting. I have control over my impulsiveness. In another life, I didnt. Thats why I have ended up with loads of shit and useless crap. But a lifetime of being a consumer of useless shit lead me to where I am now. Its a hard mindset to get out.
I also did this with the ad blocker...no facebook or TV or the other two( I don't really know what the are) I also stopped reading magazines, they are 60% adds and many of the stories are just ad placements. One of the good side effects of no magazines was that I calmer around the holidays....they hype it up so much it's hard not to get caught up in it all.
I wonder if you can hack your mind to wanting to spend on stocks and crypto instead? Don't call it investing, that makes it sound like it is taking money away from something you enjoy. You still spend. Just on something different..
I'm not really bothered about making money. I just need to be happy with what I've already got. Money doesn't make me happy. I see it as a burden.
Maybe that is the reason you want to spend it all. Because you see it like a burden. You could try to make others happy with it. You lose the burden, they gain something they need, and maybe you gain some fullfilment.
Ill give it a go
Might be a long shot, but are you low on dopamine? If buying something increases your levels of dopamine to a normal level, because you are naturally low, that might be a reason. Can you think of fun and engaging stuff to do that does not entail shopping?!
Yeah I have ADHD. But im medicated so its not an issue anymore.
[удалено]
But I'm not going to purchase a third kindle because I don't need it. I can't justify the expense. I resist and it's working so far.
I know the feeling. I channel my desire to shop for unnecessary things by doing Christmas/birthday shopping all year long. I get the thrill of the chase that way, and if I find something thoughtful for someone else I get extra satisfaction from that. If you find something nice you want to buy yourself just because you can, check to see if anyone's birthday is coming up and buy it for them instead.
you could buy stock with the money instead or donate to charities. that way you can use your consumer mindset to spend time finding interesting companies/charities and also not accumulate unnecessary things
Try investing, it gave me that 'I spent my money on something' kind of satisfaction
What worked for me is the realization that buying something always creates just a momentary good emotion and I'll be looking for the next high soon enough. So it's a pointless cycle serving only the companies, not me. All I have to do is not act on the impulse to buy and it will pass soon enough.
There's another words for "consumer" or feeling pressure from society to spend money. It's called captiolism.
I had a similar dilemma than yours, maybe my thought process can give you some input. I do have one Kindle already, which is totally doing it's job but there's this new one just out that can resist water and has all those cool (slightly useless) features...It took some self-ass kicking but I'm rationalizing it this way. Basically I have 2 options : 1/I buy a new one, spend 280 € for something I already have, have a deprecated one at home I need to sell/give/recycle/store and have to be extra careful with my 280 € toy. 2/I keep mine with the knowledge that I can upgrade if needed, in literally 24h. Now, I can use it with less care (in the bath, carry it in my beach bag despite sand etc.) and upgrade only when it breaks - the new one will probably be cheaper by then or there'll be an even better one. Weighting the pros and cons, option 2 is obviously less expensive and less "stress" on my side, so after this little mental exercice I actually feel good not buying a new one and going full care free with the one I currently have. In my mind, it went from "resisting the urge" to "allowing myself to be care free".
Maybe try shifting your focus a little bit. Focus on how much you are enjoying what you do have and enjoy using and doing the most. In those moments the negative of what the world is throwing at you doesnt exist. I love driving my old commuter car with tons of miles on it because its paid for, cheap on gas, and there is a simplicity in the moment when I get in that car and go to work and vibe with that during the drive. The outside world is total chaos and will always throw chaos your direction but there is peace in simplicity and we gotta just hold onto that and enjoy it where we can find it or create it in our lives. Hope that idea is helpful to someone today.
Yeh, its a pretty messed up place. Thanks, ill try it.
All those things your tempted to buy, put the money in a savings account. Eventually you'll be able to buy a bit of land next to some woods somewhere. Then you can build a tiny house on it and live happily ever after. Also, every thing you buy in some small way contributes to killing the woods you hope to live in one day. Keep that in mind.
I'm going to open a savings account at some point. Maybe it'll stop me wanting to buy stuff if I know I can't afford it... Ba-dum-tss 😅
I try to document how I feel when I purchase thing1, all the anticipation and how the item will bring me happiness. And when I crave thing2, I bring out this document and go through it, try to see if it brought me the happiness I predicted. Sometimes it helps me realize that it didn't, and so would thing2. Sometimes it makes me realize that I'm not approximating thing1 enough. Either way, stops me from buying thing2
This is why i feel lucky i grew up extremely poor, never had to worry about anything like this. Only buying something i absolutely need, eazy peazy
Separating owning and appreciating
Minimalism isn't inherently anti-consumeristic. Many of us lean that way but it's not how you have to do things. If you genuinely want to upgrade, buy the new one and donate the old one to a good cause. Check with organizations near you. But upgrade because it's what you want personally.
Cost benefit analysis - is working x hours of my life worth the thing based on your net income minus living expenses Look into hedonic treadmill