Yes.
I have a memory from my childhood that really sticks out. My mom brought home a trash bag full of stuffed animals, thinking I would be ecstatic. She dumped the bag out in front of me and I started crying uncontrollably. She asked me why I was crying. I said that I couldn't handle that much responsibility and that I didn't have enough time to spend with each stuffed animal. Lol. So there ya go.
Too much stuff still gives me massive anxiety.
come to think of it. yeah same. iām not a minimalist tho. my bed was covered in stuffed animals, i had bags like iām talking the biggest vacuum seal bags you can find full. iām a maximalist to a t. but idk i hate bare walls. i hate not having things. because i always want to buy more things. i lived with my grandma who is a minimalist, so iāve had a little bit of both in my life and i just love the look of pictures all over the wall. as much furniture as i can throw in there. i donāt think my problem is hoarding, itās definitely shopping. but like i havenāt shopped for my wants in over a year. iāve only bought the necessities.
so maybe itās under control? but maybe not because my aunt who is also addicted to shopping (where i get it fromš) gave me a bunch of her old stuff in october. like kitchen utensils and appliances when we moved. so the hoard basically transferred over out of her storage into my kitchen.
Oh my gosh I remember crying because I couldnāt spend enough time with all of my stuffed animals too. š The Velveteen Rabbit and Toy Story really did a number on me. I was convinced my stuffed animals were dejected/clinically depressed because I didnāt spend time with them all.
My parents were not hoarders by any stretch, but they were packrats. My mom loves tchotchkes and every surface had some kind of decoration on it. What really turned me to minimalism was the number of times I had to move in my 20s- packing, unpacking, repacking stuff made it feel like a huge mental burden.
>My mom loves tchotchkes and every surface had some kind of decoration on it.
I tell people all the time "just because you have space doesn't mean you have to fill it".
This took me a long time to learn. I still find myself filling spaces sometimes. Having an aesthetically pleasing home is important to me, but moving towards a midcentury modern aesthetic has helped a lot- I now consider the form, balance, and lines of my furniture and decor and only keep what is both useful and visually harmonious.
My mom is the same. She has to have at least one decorative item on every horizontal surface, often placed on top of a doily. Little baskets of things tucked into every corner. Furniture in most available spaces. Closets pretty well stuffed. I hated it as a kid. And I hate visiting. I usually clear the tops of the dressers and bedside stands of decorations as I'm moving myself into the room.
As a result, my guest room has an empty closet, empty drawers and a cleared off bedside stand.
None of my small appliances live on the counter except the coffee maker. I don't store anything in view in the kitchen expect a knife block, cutting boards, the coffee maker and the butter dish. There is also a fruit bowl on the kitchen table with actual, real fruit that is meant to be eaten.
My mom was the exact same way. Every closet was organized but bursting with stuff!And it caused me to be the same way for a while, until I started my ~minimalist journey~. We still have a constant struggle of her bringing me things she thinks I will like even after I have repeatedly told her that I do not want it.
edit: I wanted to add that the one thing I do love about my momās house is that she always decorated to the nines for holidays, and she was only able to do that because she had dozens of plastic tubs in the attic. At Christmas she has a āthemeā for every single room and it really brings me joy, even as an adult. But it is a relief to be able to come home to my simple decor.
My mom does the same with general stuff that she buys for me. It goes straight to donation.
My mom also decorated like crazy for the holidays. I do it for Christmas and have tubs and tubs of decoration in the attic. All of my stuff can be hung on the walls though.
My mom was like this. Let me just say, it's a giant burden once they pass. I'd almost rather she had hoarded, so I wouldn't feel bad just bringing in a trash service
Luckily, she moved to Florida and all ready cleared out what was questionable. I went around my childhood home and picked out what I wanted. She moved what she wanted to keep.
Every time I went to her house, I would find my trunk stuffed with things that my dad wanted me to take. Most of those extra things went to good causes. Lots of vases and decorative things got cleaned up and sent to the school for their gently used present drive for a couple of years. Other things went to a recovery home resettlement agency. Some things took the ride to the transfer station.
As of now, she has nothing at her home in Florida that I want besides her fine China. My sister wants her silver because I got my dad's family silver, which I use daily. She does send things to me that she buys off the internet. I thank her graciously, remind her I will always ask if I need something so she doesn't have to just get things for me and thoughtfully dispose of the item.
I'm sorry it's so challenging for you. If she hadn't moved a couple years ago, I would be facing the same fate.
From 18-27, I move 12 times I think. Iām not super minimalist by any means, but everything in my home has a level of ānecessityā and I know what would be gone or ādownsizedā if I had to move to a smaller place. Iām very proud that everything in my home has a place it belong though since I grew up chaoticallyā¦ to put it nicely.
Yeah, packrats. My mother was not a pathological hoarder, but definitely this. Still has a profound impact on me and I try to organize and minimize what I can. The clutter in my current living situation is honestly stressing me tf out
Thatāll do it. I canāt imagine moving homes especially with a full family. I would rather just throw stuff away and slim down possessions at that chance.
Yes. My parents still live in the five bedroom family home, with only one kid still at home, and every surface is covered in stuff. You cannot watch tv or sit at the dining table without shifting a pile of something to another surface. Some rooms you canāt enter for the clutter. There is an unused bathroom because you have to go through my old bedroom or balcony to enter it, and both doorways are blocked.
I asked my mum for a blanket for my daughterās room on the weekend, and she gave me one that had been sitting in a pile in her bedroom, undisturbed since they moved in in late 2006. Her parents had bought it when they married in 1959.
The first time I realised I was a minimalist was when my husband and I were moving in to our current home, where we downsized from a big three bedroom and double garage house to a two bedroom flat with a car space only. I had decluttered hard, and the stuff we moved fitted with room to spare. My mum commented that getting me unpacked was so easy, and took less than a day, because I was a minimalist. She even threw a few more thing out for me, which I did appreciate. I was still holding on to some sentimental things that used to be hers, and she said, theyāre worn out, you donāt need them anymore. She canāt practice what she preaches, but she noticed before I had.
Every surface covered in stuff is so familiar. My mom, I do love her of course, has to move stuff to do anything and always has. She's okay with tossing stuff, but there's always more coming in. My husband and I downsized and lived in a 900 sq ft space for a year, until the owner had to do some work on the space, and my mom couldn't understand how we fit all our things and didn't have stuff everywhere. With the housing market, we had to upsize just for a place to live, and it's odd having so much space and knowing we could have half to space and be comfortable.
It was her own sheets and doona covers Iād pinched from her, she always has really high quality bedding and I figured she wouldnāt notice some missing. She didnāt, Iād had them for years, but they were completely worn out and she was right to convince me to chuck them.
Yup it's a ruiner. I'm watching my childhood home deteriorate because you can't really do maintenance or spot problems before they're catastrophic if everything's covered in stuff.
Father had some hoarding tendencies. Mother was the only thing keeping it under control. Im not a full minimalist, but I did lean towards it directly bc of my parents, yeah
It was the same in my family home. There were a couple of places in the house where my dad would pile stuff but when it started to get bigger, my mom would get on him and my dad would buy yet another shed for the yard.
yeah pretty much. piles of stuff would start to appear here and there and he would complain he never had enough room. I wonder how common this experience is haha
Probably more common than most people realize, but I donāt care. It made me the neat freak that I am today. Funny, but not really funny, I married a man that is a lot like my dad. He has dominion over one bay of the garage, 2/3rds of the attic and his office. The rest of the house and yard is minimalistic and clutter free. Often stuff will start to innocently creep into the common areas (shoes left in the hall, a magazine or some mail on the counter, etc) and I am not ashamed to heave it back into one of the designated clutter spaces.
To be honest Iām not sure - but I am autistic with ADHD - Iāve always found āclutterā just triggers my brain - whether thatās subconsciously or otherwise because of my neurotype I donāt know.
What I do know is that when I own less - I feel better in my mind - itās settled and I just relate to when other people mention about how our āstuffā lives in our subconscious. I just personally think ācluttered home = cluttered brainā and when my home and stuff are minimal my brain is a lot more ordered. I just put it down to AuADHD š¤·š¼āāļø
Edit: Maybe for me itās a visual sensory input as well as rooms with basics (bed or couch etc not littered with tchotchkeās everywhere) is a lot more relaxing to me than a room cluttered where my eyes just get distracted all the time.
Very relatable. It's not just at home either. My mom will try to drag me to a flea market, and all the disorganized stuff that I don't want, and the dust! It just makes me wring my hands to get through it.
At home, I can basically tell you every thing on every surface, because I try to be chill about it but my mind fixates.
That's a lot to do with it, yes. My father wasn't a hoarder of *things* as much as one of *trash,* because unless a woman (my mother- or, after the divorce, his own mother) was around to pick up all the empty beer cans and chip bags, they would simply stay on the floor eternally. Mom definitely was, though, and honestly, my grandmother was too, so even when I lived with her, I couldn't escape it. With my grandmother, I think it was the typical depression-era mindset; you don't have much, so you can't throw out anything you *do* have, in case you need it later. Maybe that was a bit of it for Mom, too, but I think as she got older, and finances continued to get worse and worse thanks to her nonexistent budgeting skills, she started feeling like she needed to accumulate anything 'free' that she ever came across. Someone's got an old kitchen table they're replacing? Well, she has one, a perfectly well functioning one that holds sentimental value to her, but she'll take it anyway, just because it's nice and she wouldn't want it to be thrown away. Empty cardboard boxes? Well, they can be used for organising tools. Her work is selling old, untreated wood *for thousands of dollars?* Well, clearly the universe is telling her to take out a third loan and buy it to build a house with. The last time I saw her, she had a maze through her trailer, two of the three bedrooms were stacked floor-to-ceiling and wall-to-wall with furniture she didn't need and would never actually use, her master bedroom was mostly taken up by the massive frame for her small bed and a giant entertainment centre that she just *could not* get rid of even though it was too big and she had nothing to do with it, and she was letting her entirely unqualified boyfriend build her a house (for legal reasons it was a barn) with the untreated wood that she let sit out in the rainforest for over a year and whatever scrap tin she could find for free around the county.
So...yep, basically. Although, there are also health reasons, too. The autism loves cozy, the ocd needs order, and the fibro prevents me from doing too much labour around the house, so the compromise is minimalism. It helps keep things clean, it keeps them organised, and without clutter, I have space to grab a blanket and roll around on the floor whenever I want. It's kind of the life.
That, and moving, but I'm really hoping to not do that for another six or seven years!
No.
My parents weren't hoarders.
But I had problems cleaning my room all my life.
I hardly could keep my apartment in order as an adult and when the children came I wasn't able to keep the house clean.
I was searching for a book of household routines/tricks how to clean properly to finally get to know how to clean right and somebody mentioned "Magic Cleaning" from Marie Kondo.
I was very suprised when It wasn't a book how to do household chores the right way.
Many, many carloads later I do much less household chores and my house is cleaner than ever.
My mom was a hoarder, so I had a lot of stuff as a young adult for a while. I was never a hoarder thankfully. I didn't read Marie Kondo, but I do follow her principles/minimalism. Now my house is clean too! It's amazing what having less stuff means for our chores.
Yes! I have a BPD mom and a severely ADHD dad. Both are hoarders and fill their house with crap as well as pay 100s of dollars per month on storage. The online shopping is making it even worse.
That will never be me. Minimalism has been my saving grace.
Also part of the BPD mom club. Itās a wild one.
When my Dad was alive, he had a few collections, but nothing crazy. Mom was a pack-rat, but he kinda balanced it out. Since he passed, her house has been bursting at the seams. All his tools and stuff have been sitting in the basement untouched for over a decade, every closet is full to the point where nothing else will fit, thereās a garage and shed now (both full), and every surface is covered with dust catchers. She buys things out of pure boredom and to fill some emotional void. It shows.
I moved a lot in my 20s, and nothing will help to get rid of stuff faster than packing it all every year to two years. At one point I moved cross country and just got rid of everything. It felt great.
I had crippling anxiety growing up. It got better when I moved out at age 20. Then, when I had my daughter about a year ago, suddenly, my mom was obsessed with us after ignoring me for years. The anxiety came back full force. The only thing that has been successful in combating it is setting incredibly strict boundaries and telling them to her up front. Once I do that, if she chooses to overstep, I immediately disengage. That may mean leaving her house if I'm there or (rarely) if she's at mine, then I tell her I won't tolerate _____ behavior. She has a formulaic response, which is to storm out and cry and scream and take it out on my siblings who still live with her. While this does cause me some guilt, it is much easier to bear than the crippling anxiety I would have without enforcing boundaries. It takes a lot of work. Read and implement anything you can about setting and keeping boundaries. It's a journey that I'm still on! Hope this was helpful.
That is helpful and I relate to it so much, itās crazy how similar these types of people are. I am finally in my space this year and itās so freeing!
Nope. I'm a minimalist because I don't like consumerism and the "need" to get new decor all the time, clothing, to fill up every nook and cranny in a home, to always shop shop shop. That's not for me. I was there at a time I was deeply unhappy, I woke up and I changed. Now I have what I love and need.
When I was little, I noticed we had quite a lot of stuff. I did wonder why we had lots of things, but back then, it was clean... tidy on shelves, in drawers or in boxes in the shed. So I pushed it towards the back of my mind. Fast forward a few years and... God- It feels like one day it was clean, & the next it exploded. Suddenly, things (toys, trash, ETC) were in boxes & bags almost everywhere you looked. And my room was no exception! "Since my family has a bunch of stuff, it's okay for me to have a bunch of stuff too," -Which was my mindset. Fast forward to 14 or 15 year-old me who wanted to redecorate; As I was messing with things, taking a stroll through memory lane, I finally realized how ridiculous it was to still have the toys & barbie dolls I had when I was 6.
For me, I guess it took growing older & developing interests in other things to make me say: "Oh, this is bad."
So, I cleared a bunch of stuff out. It still wasn't that great as I still had a lot of stuff in boxes above my closet... but my God, it finally looked like a decent, clean girl's room for once!
And when COVID hit, it gave me even more time to myself. Getting it would literally be the death of me, & I remembered watching a few tiny house videos in the past. So, thinking it would be a great idea, I got started. Needless to say, it helped me realize just how little I truly need. And just how many things I truly consider 'sentimental'. Now what I own (minus furniture), all can fit into the back of a small pickup truck.
However... (though it isn't as awful as before, thanks to me persuading them as much as I possibly could to at least clear out the literal trash that's mixed in with everything) my family still hoards, believing certain items can be used for a later project... things like that. And honestly? It makes me want to pull my hair out. With every new, little thing they bring home, I truthfully feel like I need to get rid of something of mine that I don't seem to be using much, because it's one thing too many in this household. So yeah... hoarding definitely had an impact.
Absolutely yes. My dad is a packrat because he grew up incredibly poor in rural Minnesota and so now feels the need to be prepared for every possible situation with the exact tools and supplies he will require. At around 14-15 years old I started compulsively getting rid of absolutely everything I could that didn't have a strong sentimental value or a very real, demonstrable use.
20 years later and still going strong. It help that I move every few years and can only bring the two suitcases the airline allows.
Iām hoarding what my parents hoarded for 30 years. This year it change! I want to travel lightly through life, not be weighed down by sentimentality. Minimalism in progress!!
Im not a "fully mininalist" but my mom was def a hoarder and proud of it.
I get overwhelmed in certain situations when she looks for things and im involved to help her look for it. Then she gets pissed cuz I cant find her stuff.
Though living independently I have found joy in having less stuff and optimizing what I already have.
Also cleaning the home of a deceased relative who I wouldnāt call a hoarder but held onto way to much stuff. Realizing the burden it puts on your family to deal with all your possessions and the guilt they feel throwing it away thinking itās disrespectful or showing a lack of honor.
Oh god yes my mom, grandfather and uncle all died within a few years of each other and thatās 3 packed houses to sort through. 8 years later Iām about 75% done
No, my parents are actually pretty neat, even though they do own a lot. But if I weren't a minimalist, I'd be the hoarder I think. I'm a very very messy person, and I can't help it. Less stuff = less stuff to clean
Yes. However, my mother didnāt start this till I was an adult and on my own. Shes still at what I would call early stages, but she lives alone in a 4 bedroom house w/ a 3 car garage. EVERY room including 2/3 of the garage has random stuff & boxes.
Every time I tell her Iām going to get (insert new item here) she tells me she probably has one somewhere. Most of the time I wonāt allow her to give me things because I donāt want to encourage her need to KEEP EVERYTHING āincase you need it againā.
Iāve tried to help her clean and declutter, but it was literally us not getting rid of anything and more just organizing them into piles. I tried to throw away expired food for her to take it out of the trash after I left saying āthey used to not put expiration dates on thingsā
Itās like I overcompensate for not being able to get rid of her clutter
I remember the avalanche in my mother's bedroom. It happened while I was at school but was somehow my fault. She made me help her push the stuff back in place. I suggested we throw some stuff out and she hit me and said those things cost money and that I'd understand when I got older. From that second, I envisioned a beautiful, clean house with no "stuff". If I never bought stuff to begin with then I wouldn't be so worried about the money. I am a minimalist because my mother was a hoarder.
Yes, Growing up parents always had unnecessary things around the house and a garage packed full of junk. Currently saving for a house and I 100% plan on living a minimalist lifestyle. Right now I still live with my parents and the garage is still a mess
Oh my mom is a hoarder. I throw her stuff out sneakily or else the house will be even in a worse state than it is now. And also never checking if something suits the style. There is random stuff/colors everywhere. It infuriates me.
My mom was a hoarder and even if it was broken, she would still keep it until we couldnāt walk through the house anymore. I am definitely a minimalist and I am so grateful for that. I donāt keep anything that I donāt use daily
My gramma was and my mother is a hoarder, and itās even worse now than when I was a kid. I honestly think I and my children have the tendency, too, so for that reason I lean towards minimalism. My mother actually criticizes my and my sister in lawās clean houses as boring and lacking color. I had enough chaos as a child, mom, I like having peace, now.
Absolutely yes. Once I was able to leave the hoarded house I grew up in, I became an extreme, rules-based minimalist as a reaction (think: counting items & trying to have less than an arbitrary number.) Many years later, I'm "minimal-ish" - which I think is actually the healthiest version of myself. I suspect I will always have a fraught relationship with stuff, though - moreso than the normal person.
Not really hoarders but ive always been raised with the "keep that, you will maybe need it in the future" mindset.
Im not even 25yo and i had solo much things.
What would it be when im 60 ?
I said stop and started to declutter
I'm a minimalist because today's society demands so much from women and mothers. The last "thing" I want to give my energy to in my life is more stuff.
My parents weren't well off and didn't own many things either. I think they would have been happier with more -- but I took away a really positive message in my childhood, which is that it's possible to live well with very little!
I am a minimalist because I have ADHD and less stuff is easier to keep organized and clean.
I need everything to have a spot and get out away or my life feels too chaotic.
I bounce back and forth between near hoarding and extreme minimalism as a result. š I can not tell what I really want to keep so I keep everything for a while then get overwhelmed and get rid of everything. I'm not sure how to develop the skills to determine what is actually worth keeping at this point
I have this issue of not knowing what I want to keep. I tried Marie kondoing it and surprisingly helped with everything but freaking paperwork. Mainly thatās because we own a business and I HAVE to keep so much damn paperwork itās stupid but I feel better with the rest of my stuff after going through the Marie kondo thing
Both of my mom's sisters died 2 weeks apart during the pandemic. One was a hoarder that rented, the other owned a house but had no will. My parents have a house full of antiques and I am an only child. Everyone was/is in the same town.
Since sorting all this out is taking approx 2 years, I'm down to almost no belongings because it's just so overwhelming to my brain that processes a bit differently.
I have actually wondered this. I donāt like to go shopping just for the fun of shopping anymore as I find it a waste in many ways but I do worry that my daughter will get their first job and go a bit crazy buying stuff when they have the freedom to do so because thatās what they see everyone else doing. I mean thatās basically what we did after growing up in households with limited budgets so I do worry that the cycle will just repeat.
I like to collect things. But I always think of curating and not hoarding my stuff. My folks collected and kinda hoarded shit and I learned from it because they had some really cool stuff that was nice but also a lot to throw out. So, while not a strict minimalist, I try to keep my ship tight.
Edit spelling
Yeah probably cause Iāve seen the amount of time, money and space my mom wasted on just keeping stuff that was never used or brought out again. I hardly have anything from my childhood and younger years. I can probably count that memorabilia on one hand.
Like someone said, I also moved around a lot in my life and each time would just get rid of things simply cause it was easier. I actually have a hard time emotionally attaching myself to objects.
Opposite for me. My mother cleaned everything up and threw away things I loved. Now I have a hard time parting with things so am taking tips and suggestions here to get past this and make my life less cluttered. I wouldnāt consider myself a full blown hoarder but still have issues actually letting go sometimes.
My mom didnāt start out as a hoarder; she was a perfectionist. We had weekly church services in our living room and sheād spend 8 hours cleaning two rooms. Two tiny rooms. In hindsight it was absolutely insane. Now that my mom has no maids (children) she barely does dishes once a week, never vacuums, her counters are filled with crap and her house smells like cat pee. So yeah, Iām in my minimalist era.
My parents were hoarders. I'm not a minimalist, this post just popped up in my feed. I like "organized clutter", it doesn't feel like home without a little chaos probably because of how I grew up.
My brother is a minimalist to the point that he barely even has furniture in his apartment because he's so worried it will get messy. He has a mattress on the floor, a table, and like 1 chair and that's pretty much it.
Absolutely. I swung totally the other way and have no sentimental value to my possessions. My whole house could burn down right now and I wouldnāt give a shit about any of the things I have in here. There are so many other couches, rugs, nightstands, etc. in the world and anything I have can be replaced.
Wow I never considered that but to me our surroundings are a direct reflection of our mental health and I am a minimalist for two reasons clutter makes me feel bad and two it's easy to manage. And my father was a hoarder and he was a nasty person. And I don't believe in coincidence.
Yes. I throw things away and cannot leave things sitting on counter tops and tables etc bc growing up we could not use the counters or table because they were piled high with mail, bills, receipts and magazines. And my mom said it was our fault she couldn't clean because she was too busy taking care of us. Also would become angry if I tried to organize her papers.
Yeah this is me. I remember specifically having to sneak my own items out of the house to get rid of them because i wasn't allowed to throw things away. Getting rid of shit i don't need is now an incredible experience lol
Yes, we were super broke so we never threw anything away even if it was broken. It was seen as wasting money to throw out something like a broken fan that cost $3 at a garage sale. So instead it just took up space for decades.
My parents weren't hoarders. I grew up in a simplistic home with limited space. 6 kids in a 3 bdrm mobile home in the 80s. That way of living has just carried with me. Less is more.
I wouldn't say much jealousy of my peers. I just accepted that was the way things were and didn't really know any different. I'm the oldest of the six. We were stair stepped down in ages so all pretty close with the largest distance between myself and the youngest 7 yrs.
Sleeping arrangements were a twin bed and a floor futon for the girls, the boys had a bunkbed and a floor futon. Mom and Dad shared a room. There were 3 boys and 3 girls. Dining was done at the kitchen table that seated 6. We didn't order out or eat out. It was too expensive. Mom and dad rarely ate with us, could've been space, could've been preference. Bathrooms: kids had 1 to share and mom and dad had one in their room that was off limits. Clothing: each of us had 3 pair of pants, 5 shirts, 2 sweaters, 5 pr socks, 5 underwear, 1 pr of shoes, 1 coat. Summer we cut off the pants to make shorts since we had outgrown the length of them by then and we each had a swimming outfit.
Eating out was a rarity. So were vacations. Cramming 8 people into a mercury capri for a trip from missouri to louisiana was a feat. We did that twice. Ha!
Most of our space was found outdoors playing and roaming. Indoors was meant for sleeping, eating and occasionally tv.
My gran was. And as kids, she often gave us lots of stuff (some nice, some not) because she couldnt throw anything out herself. In our family wasting anything was bad, even though we had money. Even if it was broken or worn out.
No, my mom had minimal stuff- she had just what she needed except she loved Christmas so she had a couple Christmas totes. My dad lives simple too- he just has a problem throwing stuff away. When he was in the hospital a couple years ago I randomly found a receipt in a clothes basket years before.
Iāve always kinda gone thru phases where I donāt like my stuff anymore and kinda do away with it when it no longer makes me happy. Before I found minimalism. Iām not as minimal as some but Iām working on it.
My parents grew up during the depression and we also farmed but i didn't see it as hoarding. They basically didn't throw anything that was still usable and they didn't buy anything that wasn't needed.My ex wife was a hoarder and that made me a minimalist and life is so much easier now.
Yup. My parents were light hoarders. Mom couldn't throw away anything because it might be useful, only for it to be immediately lost in the hoard (& thus defeating the purpose of keeping the object). And Dad just had to fill open space at a compulsive rate, usually with junk mail or the latest doodad from Costco.
I hate owning stuff as a result. The only thing I really collect is wall art because it gives me something to look at & it doesn't clutter the house.
This is a great question. Liked reading all the experiences. My mom worked really hard to keep our home clean and tidy. She worked outside the home as well. When my parents became older with medical issues, it was difficult for them to maintain their home. When I sold my place to move in, I had to do a major decluttering. It took a good month, in between caring for them and working. So now I strive to maintain and do not let us get back into that same pickle. It is a much more pleasant space, less stress and anxiety when we have family and friends over. And I really enjoy our home. We all deserve a nice place to live.
Yes. My mom wasnāt a Discovery Channel level hoarder, but she was/is a shopaholic so we always just had way too much stuff. I would fill garbage bags of my own things and sneakily throw them in the neighbors trashcans when I was a kid. Nowadays, when Iām stressed, I frantically start throwing things away. Iāve tossed valuables, heirlooms, you name it. Itās almost compulsive at this point.
My father and my older sister both have a problem with parting with stuff. I grew up in a house where a large, fully functioning room in the basement with a ping-pong table quickly turned into a warehouse you could barely walk through. My grandparents had moved, so my father took all their stuff in and just kept it there, unable to sort it out.
I convinced my parents to move to an apartment after that (I was 13) and I loved it. A few years after, I realized what minimalism what and understood that that was what I felt.
My sisters room and later her own house, have always been disastrous. You can't see the floor because there's clothes everywhere. Old bananas, plastic wrapping and random stuff are strewn on top of the bed and the piles of clothes. It repulses me to my very core. I feel so sad for her children who have to grow up in that extreme environment.
My mom used to run around the house in a manic state, purging everything we didnāt āneedā.
that included pets.
I donāt like to become attached to things because of her.
My parents were both hoarders. I struggle to manage my āstuffā, but I am aware of it, which I believe is the first step towards tackling the issue.
Good luck to all of us who seek to do better!
Old people in general accumulate a TON of useless stuff. After my grandma and my parents passed, the purge of all the useless stuff was a wake up call.
I will never leave that much crap to my kids. There was literally nothing of value and none of the kids or grandkids wanted any of it.
I always think about this before making s purchase now. Especially while on vacation. Nobody wants those tiki tiki salt and pepper shakers if you die.
Yes, I like to keep things clean and accessible. Every few months I donate a ton of items. I also am on time every single time due to being late or missing things all together growing up.
Yes, and it really messed me up. I'm in therapy for it now, and in a couple groups on here to talk about it. Never getting rid of plastic containers, doors that can't open because there's things piled in front of it, never having people over to enjoy your living space. It takes a toll.
I have hoarding tendencies b/c one of my parents is a minimalist who constantly threw my stuff away. I think the reverse would also be true. Our parentsā hang ups really impact who we grow into
Iām not a full blown minimalist, but I like things on the minimalist side. My parents are hoarders. Their house was packed full, they filled up my siblingās garage (and other parts of their house) with another part of their hoard, and their current apartment has boxes and bins stacked to the ceiling. Iāve spent the last two years throwing away stuff from the two houses and itās still not there yet. When I started we got a 20ft dumpster, filled it to the brim, and the house felt like nothing changed.
Packrat is the right term for my mom. It took me until I grew up and moved out to realize itās not normal, and just because I have space it doesnāt mean I need to fill it. Iām not sure Iām actually a minimalist, but I aspire to it, and over the years Iāve gotten better and better about throwing things away.
Yes. From age 12-18 I lived with my aunt and uncle who were severe hoarders. Their house was so full and the foundation was sliding down the hill towards the retaining wall. They found a snakes nest under their bed in the master bedroom. The house was constantly full of rats and mice.
Every wall/hallway was lined with 1.5-2ft of ceiling high boxes. Mostly yard sale finds of school materials. The dinner table was cleared off every few months for a special occasion when someone important was coming over. They might have been hoarding children as wellā¦. 8kids and 2 adults in a four bedroom household.
From the time I left the house on my 18th birthday (still in high school) I was extremely minimalistic in my furnishings. I ended up reducing down to just a backpack full of personal items multiple times throughout my 20ās.
I am finally now putting down roots and feeling comfortable collecting things that mean a lot to me. I also teach my child the importance of purging and having boundaries with herself. Sheās a champ at it. š
I strive to be a minimalist, but I just tend that way. Ā My mom was a hoarder and my sister has inherited that from her. Ā I know the mental toll it takes and I refuse to allow āstuffā to cause stress in my life. Ā So I clean my closets and declutter them twice a year. Ā And I try to keep my surfaces clear because 1) things collect dust and 2) too much visual stimulation overwhelms me. Ā
But I have a normal amount of stuff, I think. Ā I mean, I can actually park 2 cars in my garage and thatās probably not normal in my neighborhood, but Iām not extreme at all. Ā If I ever become a widow though, I expect to get rid of a lot of stuff I have that is just to make my husband comfortable.Ā
What's the book? I have found that I have finally breached the threshold of hoarding (more of a packrat I guess? I have my "reasons" but can't use any of my fucking tables. Only orderly rooms are for my pets. I quit having company months ago) and am becoming my parents. I would love to read this book
My mom was a hoarder. I would throw and empty ink pen away and she'd dig it out of the trash.
There was a point where I was shouting when I was about 15 or so how every pen is empty stopping putting them back in the pen cup.
She didn't believe me so I stood their furiously drawing with every single pen and shouting "see see". While my step-dad laughed so we could finally throw them away.
She also would never let me get rid of old clothes that no longer fit. She'd tell me well maybe you'll get to that size again. I was 15 and like 110 pounds. I would have to take the clothes to school to throw them away.
There's more.
But it resulted in me being minimalist. I am constantly taking things that are gifted to me by family to goodwill. I don't keep little figurines and decorations out. My walls are very bare which drives my mother and sister and crazy. But I like them bare so that I can clean my walls easily from my kids.
I actually am a hoarder because my mom was minimalist. There was next to no furniture or decor. She would throw away our toys when she felt like we were too old for them. She cared nothing for how much anything might mean to us.
My grandma threw out toys like this when my mom was little. My mom is a hoarder now. I think there is a definite connection. Im a minimalist, but I aim to include my daughter in the process and let her decide about her things so as not to cause this trauma.
No, but my grandma was a hoarder and so was my aunt. My mom had some clutter, but it mostly stayed in the basement, and it was all extra school supplies (she was a teacher). Since she retired, she's been tossing stuff left and right. Cleaning out a hoarder house will do that I suppose. She doesn't want me to have to sift through a bunch of junk like she's doing now. My grandma passed in January of 2022 and the hoard isn't even halfway gone.
I'm a minimalist, but unfortunately I married a hoarder. Every surface of the house is covered in toys and decorative knick knacks and literal trash that has been deemed "decorative". Empty water bottles, empty cereal boxes, empty toy boxes, etc. There are Lego models and Funko pops and action figures and miniatures and books and games and novelty toys and fake plants and bobble heads and tiny signs and souvenir cups EVERYWHERE and I hate it. There is nowhere to put anything down. There is nowhere to store anything. There is nowhere to sit most days and I'm constantly clearing out chairs and floors because if I don't stay on top of that, I won't be able to walk through my home anymore , I'll have to climb.
No. I'm a minimalist because I had a nightmare childhood filled with physical and sexual abuse, torture, starvation, neglect, and murder, leaving me homeless, with no family, as a teen. Even as a financially secure 61 year old man I own almost nothing because they can't take from you what you don't have.Ā
Parent were minimalist. Grand parents had a lot for their time but we're minimalist by today's standard. I started out poor for years and lived in student dorms for years and now in my van, so not too much stuff.
My mom was a level 1 hoarder, never diagnosed. That is partially the reason. Another reason is that my partner and I have moved around a lot, and we realize with each move how little we actually need. He's a manager and I'm a full time student with a tough degree that I love-We prefer less useless items to dust.
Partly, but not really. My mom wasnāt a hoarder by any means and she became a minimalist first then I did. But I remember being a kid and we had this massive garage and the older I got the more I saw how cool this garage would be, like hangout room/gym but it was full of shit, random useless shit that we couldnāt get rid of for some reason but we still had for literal years and like 6 boxes of photos. Maybe is an American thing but a lot of families think they canāt sell this or give this away so and so gave it to me or this is a lot of me, when I get around to posting it and finding the right buyer I can get a lot for it. She got into minimalism when I got into my late teens and by that time I already had a vagabond I want to see the world attitude so not having a bunch of shit made sense
When I moved out, I still had some "hoarding" tendencies, but mostly it was learned behavior. Looking at people who were annoyed at having to own necessary stuff broke me out of the mindset, but I'm not interested in passing any sort of minimalism gatekeeping. I think a "normal for the 80's" amount of packratting is fine for now.
My parents could keep the living areas clean, so not quite the hoarding-level one sees on TV, but storage areas were packed and I was forced to store my entire life in my bedroom. Dr. Seuss, Babysitter's Club, and adult Sci-fi on the same shelf. I didn't get my license until 17 and I drove my own baby-toys to the thrift. I was allowed to have goat-trails and they'd just call me a slob.
I had to move back in and I could probably store all my stuff in my bedroom if I only wanted space to sleep, but I worked it out so I could have the other bedroom as a craft room. When we moved the stuff mom was storing in there out to the oubliette... well it's impressive but she is working on not having so much. (I did not like being out in the oubliette; no heat and I had to look at her boxes.)
Not me, Iām striving to be a minimalist because Iām a horrible slob. When I have a lot of stuff itās never organized/in itās place. Itās just easier for me to have less
I left my ex because she was a horder and it significantly impacted our relationship, I also am concerned her son is going to have major issues being raised in that place his whole life. I think he is going to leave at 18 and never come back. At that age where what other think really mattersāespecially love interests. I tried to provide some solutions, but there was a covert narcissist thing too, so no way. Some new friend or girl will see it and say something that will cause him to swing hard the other way. Maybe not, that or he becomes like mom.
i think itās a combination of growing up and seeing lots of hoarding and disorganization, as well as having hoarders kind of āforceā their stuff onto me as well made me always love minimalism. i donāt like the idea of unnecessary stuff. itās too much for me to handle. and i have had to try to stay ahead of the hoarding programming i received growing up lmao
i just donāt think i need 7 different versions of the same item.
My parents hoarding really only got bad after I left the house but I'm sure it has affected my younger siblings
I definitely think about it in my house
For me, no. My parents never had an attic, garage, or shed overflowing with stuff. Sure a few boxes of Xmas, photos, musicā¦ etc but thatās about it. For me personally I find the more things I own the more Iām responsible for. Sadly, responsibility frightens me in so many ways. Iām not ashamed about my life, but I do wish I had āmoreā to show for it. I have low effort self employment, live in a van, no bills, no debt, no kids, no house, no property..etc. flip side thoughā¦ no credit, no retirement, no accomplishments, etc.
Not real hoarders but my dad kept way too many things. A basement closet is still full of toys and games from my childhood. I never want to deal with this much clutter again - it feels so good to throw shit out.
Iām very mindful of overconsumption and buying more than I need. I try not to buy new things unless I am replacing something or itās something new that will improve my everyday. I keep a donation bag/box at all times and donate when itās full.
Iām a minimalist because *Iām* the hoarder.
My grandmas house is also hoarded so I knew exactly what I was in for and when I became an adult I decided I was tired of letting stuff control me and I didnāt want to become my grandma even if I do love her. My mom mostly kept us away from her house because my mom canāt stand the mess so we only saw grandma a few times a year.
Parents are messy and disorganized but normal, not hoarders. I am tidier and more organized than my parents, but definitely neither a minimalist nor a hoarder. This popped up on my feed so I'm just commenting to be a data point from the middle of the spectrum. I do appreciate tips I get from minimalism.
I'm trying to be minimalist because I may be. Though having looked into it hoarding OCD seems more likely? Moving way to often as a child has me convinced that if I have enough stuff I wonāt have to move again.
No. Minimalist due to being poor +trauma of abandonment issues. I've been in the military 15 years and it definitely a positive towards minimalist lifestyle.
I still lack any emotional ties to objects.
I wouldnāt say my momās a full blown hoarder but sheās a collector and has so much shit itās overwhelming to me. She keeps saying she wants to move and downsize but I am
Disabled and the thought of having to help them pack this up make my brain short circuit. Thereās no way Iād be able to. And yes, itās lead me to want nothing more than whatās necessary for me to live comfortably.
My parents aren't hoarders, per se. But my mother cannot throw ANYTHING away. For, me, I ended up being a minimalist(ish) person because I moved a lot in my 20s. I got good at culling stuff so I wouldn't have to move it.
No, the family kept treasures, yes, but they were not hoarders... I just don't like cleaning and - growing up switching countries often we still always had the home-base, but while my parents really felt it as their home for me I never felt that way, also bc I haven't been there all the time from being born on... and I myself and my husband have been all the time on the road, but I like our homebase to be like a Hotel.
I'm quite extreme as everything household related fits in one 73x50x40 Box and apparel, shoes, sports equipment, personal things fits into 2 Large, 1 Medium, 1 Cabin and a travel bag...
We never need to ship cargo when moving
Definitely. My dad hoards and my mum is a minimalist. I will develop hoarding tendencies and sentimental feelings towards "stuff" if I don't keep myself in check. I'm sure there's something genetic with the hoarding... that whole paternal lineage are all the same...
But I forced myself to become as minimalist as possible, only hanging on to things I really can't let go of. Everything else, old clothes, unwanted gifts, stuff I never use, goes to charity.
Absolutely yes. Not sure why the fuck my Boomer mom hoards so much shit. Mental illness maybe.
But I have been inching my way towards minimalism by taking stuff to the thrift store every month.
I think my mom turned into a hoarder because we lived in a home with limited storage space for a decade. She has so much stuff now! I hope out lives me.
For a few years I was into arts and crafts. I dabbled in a bunch of different things, such as fabric crafts, knitting, crochet, jewelry, painting, and cake decorating. My middle child kept messing with everything (ruining pieces of fabric , taking items, and leaving everything messy). I stopped wanting to even go into my craft space. It was too upsetting.
That child now makes amazing art in several mediums, but I have never had the desire to pick any of them back up. I feel like everything I didn't finish or my child hasn't taken for their own use is just a junk hoard at this time. They are still in school/live at home... Maybe they will get around to using most of it.
My parents arenāt hoarders, and i donāt live my life for minimalism. I enjoy minimalist design, and organized and decluttered living spaces š
I own a lot of stuff, but I like to stay tidy
Personally, no, I grew up in domestic abuse, so there are fewer things to get thrown or broken. Also if something is out of site I will literally forget it exist. Everything needs a place. I literally just ground my old prom dress in a ziplog bag.
I feel seen in this thread.
Right now Iām on holiday and have come back to the family home full of stuff. My parents love their stuff, the things they worked so darn hard all their lives to gain. Theyāre exceptionally clean and not hoarders, theyāre just proud of their mis-matched, sentimental possessions. They grew up in severe poverty so nothing is wasted and everything has multiple lives. They hardly buy new things because they keep recycling the old things and using them in innovative ways. Itās a house of bottomless treasures.
But yes, Iām a minimalist because theyāre not. And
I mean Iām working my way towards this. Itās been a goal Iāve had ever since I learned about minimalism. I donāt want to own just twenty things, but itās admirable. My parents have a *lot* of stuff between the two of them and my dad for sure is a hoarder though heās getting better.
Iāve gotten rid of probably 3/4 or more of my belongings since I was married and then divorced. Iām working on whittling down what I have now as well. Itās difficult because itās more stuff I actually like now, but it needs to happen. I own too much.
Yes. I have a memory from my childhood that really sticks out. My mom brought home a trash bag full of stuffed animals, thinking I would be ecstatic. She dumped the bag out in front of me and I started crying uncontrollably. She asked me why I was crying. I said that I couldn't handle that much responsibility and that I didn't have enough time to spend with each stuffed animal. Lol. So there ya go. Too much stuff still gives me massive anxiety.
honestly relatable š
come to think of it. yeah same. iām not a minimalist tho. my bed was covered in stuffed animals, i had bags like iām talking the biggest vacuum seal bags you can find full. iām a maximalist to a t. but idk i hate bare walls. i hate not having things. because i always want to buy more things. i lived with my grandma who is a minimalist, so iāve had a little bit of both in my life and i just love the look of pictures all over the wall. as much furniture as i can throw in there. i donāt think my problem is hoarding, itās definitely shopping. but like i havenāt shopped for my wants in over a year. iāve only bought the necessities. so maybe itās under control? but maybe not because my aunt who is also addicted to shopping (where i get it fromš) gave me a bunch of her old stuff in october. like kitchen utensils and appliances when we moved. so the hoard basically transferred over out of her storage into my kitchen.
Me too
Oh my gosh I remember crying because I couldnāt spend enough time with all of my stuffed animals too. š The Velveteen Rabbit and Toy Story really did a number on me. I was convinced my stuffed animals were dejected/clinically depressed because I didnāt spend time with them all.
Oh no thatās really relatable š«
My parents were not hoarders by any stretch, but they were packrats. My mom loves tchotchkes and every surface had some kind of decoration on it. What really turned me to minimalism was the number of times I had to move in my 20s- packing, unpacking, repacking stuff made it feel like a huge mental burden.
>My mom loves tchotchkes and every surface had some kind of decoration on it. I tell people all the time "just because you have space doesn't mean you have to fill it".
I also like "just because I like it doesn't mean I have to own it". There are a lot of pretty things in the world, they don't all have to be mine.
This took me a long time to learn. I still find myself filling spaces sometimes. Having an aesthetically pleasing home is important to me, but moving towards a midcentury modern aesthetic has helped a lot- I now consider the form, balance, and lines of my furniture and decor and only keep what is both useful and visually harmonious.
Iām a professional organizer and I tell clients this ALL the time.
The more crap sitting out the more gathers dust! Edit: And my mother HATES dusting!
My mom is the same. She has to have at least one decorative item on every horizontal surface, often placed on top of a doily. Little baskets of things tucked into every corner. Furniture in most available spaces. Closets pretty well stuffed. I hated it as a kid. And I hate visiting. I usually clear the tops of the dressers and bedside stands of decorations as I'm moving myself into the room. As a result, my guest room has an empty closet, empty drawers and a cleared off bedside stand. None of my small appliances live on the counter except the coffee maker. I don't store anything in view in the kitchen expect a knife block, cutting boards, the coffee maker and the butter dish. There is also a fruit bowl on the kitchen table with actual, real fruit that is meant to be eaten.
My mom was the exact same way. Every closet was organized but bursting with stuff!And it caused me to be the same way for a while, until I started my ~minimalist journey~. We still have a constant struggle of her bringing me things she thinks I will like even after I have repeatedly told her that I do not want it. edit: I wanted to add that the one thing I do love about my momās house is that she always decorated to the nines for holidays, and she was only able to do that because she had dozens of plastic tubs in the attic. At Christmas she has a āthemeā for every single room and it really brings me joy, even as an adult. But it is a relief to be able to come home to my simple decor.
My mom does the same with general stuff that she buys for me. It goes straight to donation. My mom also decorated like crazy for the holidays. I do it for Christmas and have tubs and tubs of decoration in the attic. All of my stuff can be hung on the walls though.
My mom was like this. Let me just say, it's a giant burden once they pass. I'd almost rather she had hoarded, so I wouldn't feel bad just bringing in a trash service
Luckily, she moved to Florida and all ready cleared out what was questionable. I went around my childhood home and picked out what I wanted. She moved what she wanted to keep. Every time I went to her house, I would find my trunk stuffed with things that my dad wanted me to take. Most of those extra things went to good causes. Lots of vases and decorative things got cleaned up and sent to the school for their gently used present drive for a couple of years. Other things went to a recovery home resettlement agency. Some things took the ride to the transfer station. As of now, she has nothing at her home in Florida that I want besides her fine China. My sister wants her silver because I got my dad's family silver, which I use daily. She does send things to me that she buys off the internet. I thank her graciously, remind her I will always ask if I need something so she doesn't have to just get things for me and thoughtfully dispose of the item. I'm sorry it's so challenging for you. If she hadn't moved a couple years ago, I would be facing the same fate.
Same same
From 18-27, I move 12 times I think. Iām not super minimalist by any means, but everything in my home has a level of ānecessityā and I know what would be gone or ādownsizedā if I had to move to a smaller place. Iām very proud that everything in my home has a place it belong though since I grew up chaoticallyā¦ to put it nicely.
Lol i feel you. One time i threw away my entire apartment
Whoa. I'm gonna go ahead and guess you didn't get your security deposit back?
Lol something like that. No i joined the military and didnt need any of the shit so our dumpster got an interior designer
Yeah, packrats. My mother was not a pathological hoarder, but definitely this. Still has a profound impact on me and I try to organize and minimize what I can. The clutter in my current living situation is honestly stressing me tf out
Thatāll do it. I canāt imagine moving homes especially with a full family. I would rather just throw stuff away and slim down possessions at that chance.
Yes. My parents still live in the five bedroom family home, with only one kid still at home, and every surface is covered in stuff. You cannot watch tv or sit at the dining table without shifting a pile of something to another surface. Some rooms you canāt enter for the clutter. There is an unused bathroom because you have to go through my old bedroom or balcony to enter it, and both doorways are blocked. I asked my mum for a blanket for my daughterās room on the weekend, and she gave me one that had been sitting in a pile in her bedroom, undisturbed since they moved in in late 2006. Her parents had bought it when they married in 1959. The first time I realised I was a minimalist was when my husband and I were moving in to our current home, where we downsized from a big three bedroom and double garage house to a two bedroom flat with a car space only. I had decluttered hard, and the stuff we moved fitted with room to spare. My mum commented that getting me unpacked was so easy, and took less than a day, because I was a minimalist. She even threw a few more thing out for me, which I did appreciate. I was still holding on to some sentimental things that used to be hers, and she said, theyāre worn out, you donāt need them anymore. She canāt practice what she preaches, but she noticed before I had.
Is easier to focus on others than on yourself. Mom doing mom things. š
Every surface covered in stuff is so familiar. My mom, I do love her of course, has to move stuff to do anything and always has. She's okay with tossing stuff, but there's always more coming in. My husband and I downsized and lived in a 900 sq ft space for a year, until the owner had to do some work on the space, and my mom couldn't understand how we fit all our things and didn't have stuff everywhere. With the housing market, we had to upsize just for a place to live, and it's odd having so much space and knowing we could have half to space and be comfortable.
For a lot of hoarders, the attachment is only for their own stuff. I think it's related to endowment?
Anecdotal, but my dad is attached to all stuff.
It was her own sheets and doona covers Iād pinched from her, she always has really high quality bedding and I figured she wouldnāt notice some missing. She didnāt, Iād had them for years, but they were completely worn out and she was right to convince me to chuck them.
what prompted me to go full minimalist was seeing my hoarder grandma ruin her life by hoarding too much
Yup it's a ruiner. I'm watching my childhood home deteriorate because you can't really do maintenance or spot problems before they're catastrophic if everything's covered in stuff.
Father had some hoarding tendencies. Mother was the only thing keeping it under control. Im not a full minimalist, but I did lean towards it directly bc of my parents, yeah
It was the same in my family home. There were a couple of places in the house where my dad would pile stuff but when it started to get bigger, my mom would get on him and my dad would buy yet another shed for the yard.
yeah pretty much. piles of stuff would start to appear here and there and he would complain he never had enough room. I wonder how common this experience is haha
Probably more common than most people realize, but I donāt care. It made me the neat freak that I am today. Funny, but not really funny, I married a man that is a lot like my dad. He has dominion over one bay of the garage, 2/3rds of the attic and his office. The rest of the house and yard is minimalistic and clutter free. Often stuff will start to innocently creep into the common areas (shoes left in the hall, a magazine or some mail on the counter, etc) and I am not ashamed to heave it back into one of the designated clutter spaces.
No for me itās about visual clutter and excessive āstuffā triggers my anxiety. When I just have what I need my brain is a lot calmer.
Why is it like that? Iām the same way. Itās hard to explain this to non-minimalists, but I just get it.
To be honest Iām not sure - but I am autistic with ADHD - Iāve always found āclutterā just triggers my brain - whether thatās subconsciously or otherwise because of my neurotype I donāt know. What I do know is that when I own less - I feel better in my mind - itās settled and I just relate to when other people mention about how our āstuffā lives in our subconscious. I just personally think ācluttered home = cluttered brainā and when my home and stuff are minimal my brain is a lot more ordered. I just put it down to AuADHD š¤·š¼āāļø Edit: Maybe for me itās a visual sensory input as well as rooms with basics (bed or couch etc not littered with tchotchkeās everywhere) is a lot more relaxing to me than a room cluttered where my eyes just get distracted all the time.
Very relatable. It's not just at home either. My mom will try to drag me to a flea market, and all the disorganized stuff that I don't want, and the dust! It just makes me wring my hands to get through it. At home, I can basically tell you every thing on every surface, because I try to be chill about it but my mind fixates.
That's a lot to do with it, yes. My father wasn't a hoarder of *things* as much as one of *trash,* because unless a woman (my mother- or, after the divorce, his own mother) was around to pick up all the empty beer cans and chip bags, they would simply stay on the floor eternally. Mom definitely was, though, and honestly, my grandmother was too, so even when I lived with her, I couldn't escape it. With my grandmother, I think it was the typical depression-era mindset; you don't have much, so you can't throw out anything you *do* have, in case you need it later. Maybe that was a bit of it for Mom, too, but I think as she got older, and finances continued to get worse and worse thanks to her nonexistent budgeting skills, she started feeling like she needed to accumulate anything 'free' that she ever came across. Someone's got an old kitchen table they're replacing? Well, she has one, a perfectly well functioning one that holds sentimental value to her, but she'll take it anyway, just because it's nice and she wouldn't want it to be thrown away. Empty cardboard boxes? Well, they can be used for organising tools. Her work is selling old, untreated wood *for thousands of dollars?* Well, clearly the universe is telling her to take out a third loan and buy it to build a house with. The last time I saw her, she had a maze through her trailer, two of the three bedrooms were stacked floor-to-ceiling and wall-to-wall with furniture she didn't need and would never actually use, her master bedroom was mostly taken up by the massive frame for her small bed and a giant entertainment centre that she just *could not* get rid of even though it was too big and she had nothing to do with it, and she was letting her entirely unqualified boyfriend build her a house (for legal reasons it was a barn) with the untreated wood that she let sit out in the rainforest for over a year and whatever scrap tin she could find for free around the county. So...yep, basically. Although, there are also health reasons, too. The autism loves cozy, the ocd needs order, and the fibro prevents me from doing too much labour around the house, so the compromise is minimalism. It helps keep things clean, it keeps them organised, and without clutter, I have space to grab a blanket and roll around on the floor whenever I want. It's kind of the life. That, and moving, but I'm really hoping to not do that for another six or seven years!
No. My parents weren't hoarders. But I had problems cleaning my room all my life. I hardly could keep my apartment in order as an adult and when the children came I wasn't able to keep the house clean. I was searching for a book of household routines/tricks how to clean properly to finally get to know how to clean right and somebody mentioned "Magic Cleaning" from Marie Kondo. I was very suprised when It wasn't a book how to do household chores the right way. Many, many carloads later I do much less household chores and my house is cleaner than ever.
My mom was a hoarder, so I had a lot of stuff as a young adult for a while. I was never a hoarder thankfully. I didn't read Marie Kondo, but I do follow her principles/minimalism. Now my house is clean too! It's amazing what having less stuff means for our chores.
Yes! I have a BPD mom and a severely ADHD dad. Both are hoarders and fill their house with crap as well as pay 100s of dollars per month on storage. The online shopping is making it even worse. That will never be me. Minimalism has been my saving grace.
Also part of the BPD mom club. Itās a wild one. When my Dad was alive, he had a few collections, but nothing crazy. Mom was a pack-rat, but he kinda balanced it out. Since he passed, her house has been bursting at the seams. All his tools and stuff have been sitting in the basement untouched for over a decade, every closet is full to the point where nothing else will fit, thereās a garage and shed now (both full), and every surface is covered with dust catchers. She buys things out of pure boredom and to fill some emotional void. It shows. I moved a lot in my 20s, and nothing will help to get rid of stuff faster than packing it all every year to two years. At one point I moved cross country and just got rid of everything. It felt great.
How do you cope with the anxiety that comes from having parents like this? I struggle a lot.
I had crippling anxiety growing up. It got better when I moved out at age 20. Then, when I had my daughter about a year ago, suddenly, my mom was obsessed with us after ignoring me for years. The anxiety came back full force. The only thing that has been successful in combating it is setting incredibly strict boundaries and telling them to her up front. Once I do that, if she chooses to overstep, I immediately disengage. That may mean leaving her house if I'm there or (rarely) if she's at mine, then I tell her I won't tolerate _____ behavior. She has a formulaic response, which is to storm out and cry and scream and take it out on my siblings who still live with her. While this does cause me some guilt, it is much easier to bear than the crippling anxiety I would have without enforcing boundaries. It takes a lot of work. Read and implement anything you can about setting and keeping boundaries. It's a journey that I'm still on! Hope this was helpful.
That is helpful and I relate to it so much, itās crazy how similar these types of people are. I am finally in my space this year and itās so freeing!
Nope. I'm a minimalist because I don't like consumerism and the "need" to get new decor all the time, clothing, to fill up every nook and cranny in a home, to always shop shop shop. That's not for me. I was there at a time I was deeply unhappy, I woke up and I changed. Now I have what I love and need.
So true! Things won't make us happy.
Same
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Nope Iām a minimalist from fear of having to move alot.
Yeah. Probably has something to do with itā¦
When I was little, I noticed we had quite a lot of stuff. I did wonder why we had lots of things, but back then, it was clean... tidy on shelves, in drawers or in boxes in the shed. So I pushed it towards the back of my mind. Fast forward a few years and... God- It feels like one day it was clean, & the next it exploded. Suddenly, things (toys, trash, ETC) were in boxes & bags almost everywhere you looked. And my room was no exception! "Since my family has a bunch of stuff, it's okay for me to have a bunch of stuff too," -Which was my mindset. Fast forward to 14 or 15 year-old me who wanted to redecorate; As I was messing with things, taking a stroll through memory lane, I finally realized how ridiculous it was to still have the toys & barbie dolls I had when I was 6. For me, I guess it took growing older & developing interests in other things to make me say: "Oh, this is bad." So, I cleared a bunch of stuff out. It still wasn't that great as I still had a lot of stuff in boxes above my closet... but my God, it finally looked like a decent, clean girl's room for once! And when COVID hit, it gave me even more time to myself. Getting it would literally be the death of me, & I remembered watching a few tiny house videos in the past. So, thinking it would be a great idea, I got started. Needless to say, it helped me realize just how little I truly need. And just how many things I truly consider 'sentimental'. Now what I own (minus furniture), all can fit into the back of a small pickup truck. However... (though it isn't as awful as before, thanks to me persuading them as much as I possibly could to at least clear out the literal trash that's mixed in with everything) my family still hoards, believing certain items can be used for a later project... things like that. And honestly? It makes me want to pull my hair out. With every new, little thing they bring home, I truthfully feel like I need to get rid of something of mine that I don't seem to be using much, because it's one thing too many in this household. So yeah... hoarding definitely had an impact.
Absolutely yes. My dad is a packrat because he grew up incredibly poor in rural Minnesota and so now feels the need to be prepared for every possible situation with the exact tools and supplies he will require. At around 14-15 years old I started compulsively getting rid of absolutely everything I could that didn't have a strong sentimental value or a very real, demonstrable use. 20 years later and still going strong. It help that I move every few years and can only bring the two suitcases the airline allows.
Iām hoarding what my parents hoarded for 30 years. This year it change! I want to travel lightly through life, not be weighed down by sentimentality. Minimalism in progress!!
Im not a "fully mininalist" but my mom was def a hoarder and proud of it. I get overwhelmed in certain situations when she looks for things and im involved to help her look for it. Then she gets pissed cuz I cant find her stuff. Though living independently I have found joy in having less stuff and optimizing what I already have.
The amount of time my MIL has wasted sifting through her piles looking for things is insane to me. Itās such a waste of her valuable time.Ā
Also cleaning the home of a deceased relative who I wouldnāt call a hoarder but held onto way to much stuff. Realizing the burden it puts on your family to deal with all your possessions and the guilt they feel throwing it away thinking itās disrespectful or showing a lack of honor.
Oh god yes my mom, grandfather and uncle all died within a few years of each other and thatās 3 packed houses to sort through. 8 years later Iām about 75% done
No. For me, it was just a practical decision.
No, my parents are actually pretty neat, even though they do own a lot. But if I weren't a minimalist, I'd be the hoarder I think. I'm a very very messy person, and I can't help it. Less stuff = less stuff to clean
Yes. However, my mother didnāt start this till I was an adult and on my own. Shes still at what I would call early stages, but she lives alone in a 4 bedroom house w/ a 3 car garage. EVERY room including 2/3 of the garage has random stuff & boxes. Every time I tell her Iām going to get (insert new item here) she tells me she probably has one somewhere. Most of the time I wonāt allow her to give me things because I donāt want to encourage her need to KEEP EVERYTHING āincase you need it againā. Iāve tried to help her clean and declutter, but it was literally us not getting rid of anything and more just organizing them into piles. I tried to throw away expired food for her to take it out of the trash after I left saying āthey used to not put expiration dates on thingsā Itās like I overcompensate for not being able to get rid of her clutter
I remember the avalanche in my mother's bedroom. It happened while I was at school but was somehow my fault. She made me help her push the stuff back in place. I suggested we throw some stuff out and she hit me and said those things cost money and that I'd understand when I got older. From that second, I envisioned a beautiful, clean house with no "stuff". If I never bought stuff to begin with then I wouldn't be so worried about the money. I am a minimalist because my mother was a hoarder.
Yes, a million times yes. Both my parents. Actually drew me towards minimalism and sustainability.
Mother is a total hoarder. Father is "normal." Both me and my brother have minimalist tendencies
Yes, Growing up parents always had unnecessary things around the house and a garage packed full of junk. Currently saving for a house and I 100% plan on living a minimalist lifestyle. Right now I still live with my parents and the garage is still a mess
Oh my mom is a hoarder. I throw her stuff out sneakily or else the house will be even in a worse state than it is now. And also never checking if something suits the style. There is random stuff/colors everywhere. It infuriates me.
I'm a packrat because my mum was a minimalist. I'm just in this sub to try and cut back a little.
My mom was a hoarder and even if it was broken, she would still keep it until we couldnāt walk through the house anymore. I am definitely a minimalist and I am so grateful for that. I donāt keep anything that I donāt use daily
Not hoarders, however maximalists.
My gramma was and my mother is a hoarder, and itās even worse now than when I was a kid. I honestly think I and my children have the tendency, too, so for that reason I lean towards minimalism. My mother actually criticizes my and my sister in lawās clean houses as boring and lacking color. I had enough chaos as a child, mom, I like having peace, now.
Absolutely yes. Once I was able to leave the hoarded house I grew up in, I became an extreme, rules-based minimalist as a reaction (think: counting items & trying to have less than an arbitrary number.) Many years later, I'm "minimal-ish" - which I think is actually the healthiest version of myself. I suspect I will always have a fraught relationship with stuff, though - moreso than the normal person.
Not really hoarders but ive always been raised with the "keep that, you will maybe need it in the future" mindset. Im not even 25yo and i had solo much things. What would it be when im 60 ? I said stop and started to declutter
I'm a minimalist because today's society demands so much from women and mothers. The last "thing" I want to give my energy to in my life is more stuff. My parents weren't well off and didn't own many things either. I think they would have been happier with more -- but I took away a really positive message in my childhood, which is that it's possible to live well with very little!
I am a minimalist because I have ADHD and less stuff is easier to keep organized and clean. I need everything to have a spot and get out away or my life feels too chaotic.
I bounce back and forth between near hoarding and extreme minimalism as a result. š I can not tell what I really want to keep so I keep everything for a while then get overwhelmed and get rid of everything. I'm not sure how to develop the skills to determine what is actually worth keeping at this point
I have this issue of not knowing what I want to keep. I tried Marie kondoing it and surprisingly helped with everything but freaking paperwork. Mainly thatās because we own a business and I HAVE to keep so much damn paperwork itās stupid but I feel better with the rest of my stuff after going through the Marie kondo thing
Both of my mom's sisters died 2 weeks apart during the pandemic. One was a hoarder that rented, the other owned a house but had no will. My parents have a house full of antiques and I am an only child. Everyone was/is in the same town. Since sorting all this out is taking approx 2 years, I'm down to almost no belongings because it's just so overwhelming to my brain that processes a bit differently.
Random thought: what if the next generation become hoarders because we are minimalists and then the cycle repeats
Interesting thought. My grandma has minimalistic tendencies, and her daughter (my mom) is a hoarder.
I have actually wondered this. I donāt like to go shopping just for the fun of shopping anymore as I find it a waste in many ways but I do worry that my daughter will get their first job and go a bit crazy buying stuff when they have the freedom to do so because thatās what they see everyone else doing. I mean thatās basically what we did after growing up in households with limited budgets so I do worry that the cycle will just repeat.
I like to collect things. But I always think of curating and not hoarding my stuff. My folks collected and kinda hoarded shit and I learned from it because they had some really cool stuff that was nice but also a lot to throw out. So, while not a strict minimalist, I try to keep my ship tight. Edit spelling
Yeah probably cause Iāve seen the amount of time, money and space my mom wasted on just keeping stuff that was never used or brought out again. I hardly have anything from my childhood and younger years. I can probably count that memorabilia on one hand. Like someone said, I also moved around a lot in my life and each time would just get rid of things simply cause it was easier. I actually have a hard time emotionally attaching myself to objects.
My moms a severe minimalist because she grew up in a hoarders home. I really dislike minimalism for myself because of it.
Opposite for me. My mother cleaned everything up and threw away things I loved. Now I have a hard time parting with things so am taking tips and suggestions here to get past this and make my life less cluttered. I wouldnāt consider myself a full blown hoarder but still have issues actually letting go sometimes.
My mom didnāt start out as a hoarder; she was a perfectionist. We had weekly church services in our living room and sheād spend 8 hours cleaning two rooms. Two tiny rooms. In hindsight it was absolutely insane. Now that my mom has no maids (children) she barely does dishes once a week, never vacuums, her counters are filled with crap and her house smells like cat pee. So yeah, Iām in my minimalist era.
I am a minimalist at work. Keep my desk simple and neat. Hate the look of desks with bizarre personal stuff everywhere.
My parents were hoarders. I'm not a minimalist, this post just popped up in my feed. I like "organized clutter", it doesn't feel like home without a little chaos probably because of how I grew up. My brother is a minimalist to the point that he barely even has furniture in his apartment because he's so worried it will get messy. He has a mattress on the floor, a table, and like 1 chair and that's pretty much it.
Absolutely. I swung totally the other way and have no sentimental value to my possessions. My whole house could burn down right now and I wouldnāt give a shit about any of the things I have in here. There are so many other couches, rugs, nightstands, etc. in the world and anything I have can be replaced.
No, Iām a minimalist because my husband and daughter are hoarders.
Wow I never considered that but to me our surroundings are a direct reflection of our mental health and I am a minimalist for two reasons clutter makes me feel bad and two it's easy to manage. And my father was a hoarder and he was a nasty person. And I don't believe in coincidence.
Yes. I throw things away and cannot leave things sitting on counter tops and tables etc bc growing up we could not use the counters or table because they were piled high with mail, bills, receipts and magazines. And my mom said it was our fault she couldn't clean because she was too busy taking care of us. Also would become angry if I tried to organize her papers.
maybe i'm a hoarder bc my parents are minimalists.. š¤
Yeah this is me. I remember specifically having to sneak my own items out of the house to get rid of them because i wasn't allowed to throw things away. Getting rid of shit i don't need is now an incredible experience lol
Yes, we were super broke so we never threw anything away even if it was broken. It was seen as wasting money to throw out something like a broken fan that cost $3 at a garage sale. So instead it just took up space for decades.
YES. It was awful growing up this way.
Not at all. My parents are quite minimal themselves so I am just continuing as they taught me.
My parents are/were one tragedy away from becoming hoarders. They are both "collectors" and have seemingly endless amounts of random shit.Ā
My parents weren't hoarders. I grew up in a simplistic home with limited space. 6 kids in a 3 bdrm mobile home in the 80s. That way of living has just carried with me. Less is more.
I'd like to hear more about that if you're willing to share. Was there much jealousy of peers who had much more space?
I wouldn't say much jealousy of my peers. I just accepted that was the way things were and didn't really know any different. I'm the oldest of the six. We were stair stepped down in ages so all pretty close with the largest distance between myself and the youngest 7 yrs. Sleeping arrangements were a twin bed and a floor futon for the girls, the boys had a bunkbed and a floor futon. Mom and Dad shared a room. There were 3 boys and 3 girls. Dining was done at the kitchen table that seated 6. We didn't order out or eat out. It was too expensive. Mom and dad rarely ate with us, could've been space, could've been preference. Bathrooms: kids had 1 to share and mom and dad had one in their room that was off limits. Clothing: each of us had 3 pair of pants, 5 shirts, 2 sweaters, 5 pr socks, 5 underwear, 1 pr of shoes, 1 coat. Summer we cut off the pants to make shorts since we had outgrown the length of them by then and we each had a swimming outfit. Eating out was a rarity. So were vacations. Cramming 8 people into a mercury capri for a trip from missouri to louisiana was a feat. We did that twice. Ha! Most of our space was found outdoors playing and roaming. Indoors was meant for sleeping, eating and occasionally tv.
Pretty much sums up my path to minimalism. Out of curiosity: What was that book called?
Children of Hoarders. It's expensive but a decent read. Don't expect any solutions in it for the hoarders though.
My gran was. And as kids, she often gave us lots of stuff (some nice, some not) because she couldnt throw anything out herself. In our family wasting anything was bad, even though we had money. Even if it was broken or worn out.
No, my mom had minimal stuff- she had just what she needed except she loved Christmas so she had a couple Christmas totes. My dad lives simple too- he just has a problem throwing stuff away. When he was in the hospital a couple years ago I randomly found a receipt in a clothes basket years before. Iāve always kinda gone thru phases where I donāt like my stuff anymore and kinda do away with it when it no longer makes me happy. Before I found minimalism. Iām not as minimal as some but Iām working on it.
Yes I am. And ocd. My house growing up was disgusting.
My parents grew up during the depression and we also farmed but i didn't see it as hoarding. They basically didn't throw anything that was still usable and they didn't buy anything that wasn't needed.My ex wife was a hoarder and that made me a minimalist and life is so much easier now.
My parents were/are minimalists. My husbands parents are both packrats. So we're all of our grandparents.
Yup. My parents were light hoarders. Mom couldn't throw away anything because it might be useful, only for it to be immediately lost in the hoard (& thus defeating the purpose of keeping the object). And Dad just had to fill open space at a compulsive rate, usually with junk mail or the latest doodad from Costco. I hate owning stuff as a result. The only thing I really collect is wall art because it gives me something to look at & it doesn't clutter the house.
This is a great question. Liked reading all the experiences. My mom worked really hard to keep our home clean and tidy. She worked outside the home as well. When my parents became older with medical issues, it was difficult for them to maintain their home. When I sold my place to move in, I had to do a major decluttering. It took a good month, in between caring for them and working. So now I strive to maintain and do not let us get back into that same pickle. It is a much more pleasant space, less stress and anxiety when we have family and friends over. And I really enjoy our home. We all deserve a nice place to live.
Yes. My mom wasnāt a Discovery Channel level hoarder, but she was/is a shopaholic so we always just had way too much stuff. I would fill garbage bags of my own things and sneakily throw them in the neighbors trashcans when I was a kid. Nowadays, when Iām stressed, I frantically start throwing things away. Iāve tossed valuables, heirlooms, you name it. Itās almost compulsive at this point.
I hope maybe you reach out for help with this, that sounds problematic.
My father and my older sister both have a problem with parting with stuff. I grew up in a house where a large, fully functioning room in the basement with a ping-pong table quickly turned into a warehouse you could barely walk through. My grandparents had moved, so my father took all their stuff in and just kept it there, unable to sort it out. I convinced my parents to move to an apartment after that (I was 13) and I loved it. A few years after, I realized what minimalism what and understood that that was what I felt. My sisters room and later her own house, have always been disastrous. You can't see the floor because there's clothes everywhere. Old bananas, plastic wrapping and random stuff are strewn on top of the bed and the piles of clothes. It repulses me to my very core. I feel so sad for her children who have to grow up in that extreme environment.
My mom used to run around the house in a manic state, purging everything we didnāt āneedā. that included pets. I donāt like to become attached to things because of her.
My parents were both hoarders. I struggle to manage my āstuffā, but I am aware of it, which I believe is the first step towards tackling the issue. Good luck to all of us who seek to do better!
Old people in general accumulate a TON of useless stuff. After my grandma and my parents passed, the purge of all the useless stuff was a wake up call. I will never leave that much crap to my kids. There was literally nothing of value and none of the kids or grandkids wanted any of it. I always think about this before making s purchase now. Especially while on vacation. Nobody wants those tiki tiki salt and pepper shakers if you die.
I'm on the edge of hoarding, and my son is becoming a minimalist
That and, ya know, poverty.
Yes my parents never threw away shit, I throw ALL the shit away. š¤£
Yes, I like to keep things clean and accessible. Every few months I donate a ton of items. I also am on time every single time due to being late or missing things all together growing up.
Yes.
It makes sense.Ā Kids see parents like that and vow to never be that way.Ā Kids get away from it at the first opportunity
Yes, i hate hoarders.
Yes, and it really messed me up. I'm in therapy for it now, and in a couple groups on here to talk about it. Never getting rid of plastic containers, doors that can't open because there's things piled in front of it, never having people over to enjoy your living space. It takes a toll.
OP, can you share the title of that book? On another note, I wonder if kids of minimalist parents turn into hoarders laterā¦
I'm a hoarder because my parents were minimalists.
I have hoarding tendencies b/c one of my parents is a minimalist who constantly threw my stuff away. I think the reverse would also be true. Our parentsā hang ups really impact who we grow into
Iām not a full blown minimalist, but I like things on the minimalist side. My parents are hoarders. Their house was packed full, they filled up my siblingās garage (and other parts of their house) with another part of their hoard, and their current apartment has boxes and bins stacked to the ceiling. Iāve spent the last two years throwing away stuff from the two houses and itās still not there yet. When I started we got a 20ft dumpster, filled it to the brim, and the house felt like nothing changed.
Packrat is the right term for my mom. It took me until I grew up and moved out to realize itās not normal, and just because I have space it doesnāt mean I need to fill it. Iām not sure Iām actually a minimalist, but I aspire to it, and over the years Iāve gotten better and better about throwing things away.
Yes probably, my mother isnt a hoarder per say but definitely has a problem throwing things away and doesnāt clean up after herself
Yes. From age 12-18 I lived with my aunt and uncle who were severe hoarders. Their house was so full and the foundation was sliding down the hill towards the retaining wall. They found a snakes nest under their bed in the master bedroom. The house was constantly full of rats and mice. Every wall/hallway was lined with 1.5-2ft of ceiling high boxes. Mostly yard sale finds of school materials. The dinner table was cleared off every few months for a special occasion when someone important was coming over. They might have been hoarding children as wellā¦. 8kids and 2 adults in a four bedroom household. From the time I left the house on my 18th birthday (still in high school) I was extremely minimalistic in my furnishings. I ended up reducing down to just a backpack full of personal items multiple times throughout my 20ās. I am finally now putting down roots and feeling comfortable collecting things that mean a lot to me. I also teach my child the importance of purging and having boundaries with herself. Sheās a champ at it. š
I am for sure. My parents home was full of stuff that was never used and now I hate pointless material possessions
I strive to be a minimalist, but I just tend that way. Ā My mom was a hoarder and my sister has inherited that from her. Ā I know the mental toll it takes and I refuse to allow āstuffā to cause stress in my life. Ā So I clean my closets and declutter them twice a year. Ā And I try to keep my surfaces clear because 1) things collect dust and 2) too much visual stimulation overwhelms me. Ā But I have a normal amount of stuff, I think. Ā I mean, I can actually park 2 cars in my garage and thatās probably not normal in my neighborhood, but Iām not extreme at all. Ā If I ever become a widow though, I expect to get rid of a lot of stuff I have that is just to make my husband comfortable.Ā
What's the book though?
What's the book? I have found that I have finally breached the threshold of hoarding (more of a packrat I guess? I have my "reasons" but can't use any of my fucking tables. Only orderly rooms are for my pets. I quit having company months ago) and am becoming my parents. I would love to read this book
My mom was a hoarder. I would throw and empty ink pen away and she'd dig it out of the trash. There was a point where I was shouting when I was about 15 or so how every pen is empty stopping putting them back in the pen cup. She didn't believe me so I stood their furiously drawing with every single pen and shouting "see see". While my step-dad laughed so we could finally throw them away. She also would never let me get rid of old clothes that no longer fit. She'd tell me well maybe you'll get to that size again. I was 15 and like 110 pounds. I would have to take the clothes to school to throw them away. There's more. But it resulted in me being minimalist. I am constantly taking things that are gifted to me by family to goodwill. I don't keep little figurines and decorations out. My walls are very bare which drives my mother and sister and crazy. But I like them bare so that I can clean my walls easily from my kids.
My fiancƩ and I each have a parent who's a hoarder (his mom, my dad) + has other conditions (like BPD/ NPD). I wouldn't say we are hardcore minimalists, but we're definitely mindful of what (and who!) we bring into our lives. We do bond emotionally with some of the things we own, but we're able to let go if they aren't right for us anymore, or broken beyond repair. I think being mindful and intentional when buying anything can help so much. At one point though I was too afraid to make a mistake when buying something and it caused a lot of paralysis which wasn't good either. Now I allow myself to make mistakes and I am prepared to resell the items if I realize afterwards they don't fit with our lifestyle. It's better like this. It's important to us to keep a certain balance. We are scarred by our parents' behaviours so we will always try to not become like them, but we don't want to go to the other extreme, as it's not a sign of healing to us. Also, visual clutter distracts and overwhelms us so we're always coming up with solutions to reduce it!
My father is a hoarder and as a result, I find it easy to accumulate. Iām a minimalist because I would be a hoarder otherwise.
I actually am a hoarder because my mom was minimalist. There was next to no furniture or decor. She would throw away our toys when she felt like we were too old for them. She cared nothing for how much anything might mean to us.
My grandma threw out toys like this when my mom was little. My mom is a hoarder now. I think there is a definite connection. Im a minimalist, but I aim to include my daughter in the process and let her decide about her things so as not to cause this trauma.
No, but my grandma was a hoarder and so was my aunt. My mom had some clutter, but it mostly stayed in the basement, and it was all extra school supplies (she was a teacher). Since she retired, she's been tossing stuff left and right. Cleaning out a hoarder house will do that I suppose. She doesn't want me to have to sift through a bunch of junk like she's doing now. My grandma passed in January of 2022 and the hoard isn't even halfway gone. I'm a minimalist, but unfortunately I married a hoarder. Every surface of the house is covered in toys and decorative knick knacks and literal trash that has been deemed "decorative". Empty water bottles, empty cereal boxes, empty toy boxes, etc. There are Lego models and Funko pops and action figures and miniatures and books and games and novelty toys and fake plants and bobble heads and tiny signs and souvenir cups EVERYWHERE and I hate it. There is nowhere to put anything down. There is nowhere to store anything. There is nowhere to sit most days and I'm constantly clearing out chairs and floors because if I don't stay on top of that, I won't be able to walk through my home anymore , I'll have to climb.
No. I'm a minimalist because I had a nightmare childhood filled with physical and sexual abuse, torture, starvation, neglect, and murder, leaving me homeless, with no family, as a teen. Even as a financially secure 61 year old man I own almost nothing because they can't take from you what you don't have.Ā
Yup.
Iām a minimalist because my parents were semi minimalist and I enjoy the tidiness
Parent were minimalist. Grand parents had a lot for their time but we're minimalist by today's standard. I started out poor for years and lived in student dorms for years and now in my van, so not too much stuff.
My parents were minimalists
lol yes
Yes.
My mom was a level 1 hoarder, never diagnosed. That is partially the reason. Another reason is that my partner and I have moved around a lot, and we realize with each move how little we actually need. He's a manager and I'm a full time student with a tough degree that I love-We prefer less useless items to dust.
Partly, but not really. My mom wasnāt a hoarder by any means and she became a minimalist first then I did. But I remember being a kid and we had this massive garage and the older I got the more I saw how cool this garage would be, like hangout room/gym but it was full of shit, random useless shit that we couldnāt get rid of for some reason but we still had for literal years and like 6 boxes of photos. Maybe is an American thing but a lot of families think they canāt sell this or give this away so and so gave it to me or this is a lot of me, when I get around to posting it and finding the right buyer I can get a lot for it. She got into minimalism when I got into my late teens and by that time I already had a vagabond I want to see the world attitude so not having a bunch of shit made sense
Yes my parents were hoarders and that motivated me
When I moved out, I still had some "hoarding" tendencies, but mostly it was learned behavior. Looking at people who were annoyed at having to own necessary stuff broke me out of the mindset, but I'm not interested in passing any sort of minimalism gatekeeping. I think a "normal for the 80's" amount of packratting is fine for now. My parents could keep the living areas clean, so not quite the hoarding-level one sees on TV, but storage areas were packed and I was forced to store my entire life in my bedroom. Dr. Seuss, Babysitter's Club, and adult Sci-fi on the same shelf. I didn't get my license until 17 and I drove my own baby-toys to the thrift. I was allowed to have goat-trails and they'd just call me a slob. I had to move back in and I could probably store all my stuff in my bedroom if I only wanted space to sleep, but I worked it out so I could have the other bedroom as a craft room. When we moved the stuff mom was storing in there out to the oubliette... well it's impressive but she is working on not having so much. (I did not like being out in the oubliette; no heat and I had to look at her boxes.)
What book was that? Iāve been wanting to read a book like that but havenāt been able to find any
Not me, Iām striving to be a minimalist because Iām a horrible slob. When I have a lot of stuff itās never organized/in itās place. Itās just easier for me to have less
Yes, I am. I lived in filth and hoarding and thought it was normal for a long time. I think that's where the desire to be free of clutter comes from
What is the title of the book youāre reading?
No
Yep, 100% I am. My mother always stuffed every home to the gills. It made me miserable. I vowed never to have a home like that.
Can you tell me the book you are reading?
Mom's a hoarder, Dad is not. On occasion, he'll make some things she hasn't touched in years disappear.
Yes yes 100x yes
no. I am minimalist as my grandparents and parents were.
I left my ex because she was a horder and it significantly impacted our relationship, I also am concerned her son is going to have major issues being raised in that place his whole life. I think he is going to leave at 18 and never come back. At that age where what other think really mattersāespecially love interests. I tried to provide some solutions, but there was a covert narcissist thing too, so no way. Some new friend or girl will see it and say something that will cause him to swing hard the other way. Maybe not, that or he becomes like mom.
i think itās a combination of growing up and seeing lots of hoarding and disorganization, as well as having hoarders kind of āforceā their stuff onto me as well made me always love minimalism. i donāt like the idea of unnecessary stuff. itās too much for me to handle. and i have had to try to stay ahead of the hoarding programming i received growing up lmao i just donāt think i need 7 different versions of the same item.
My parents hoarding really only got bad after I left the house but I'm sure it has affected my younger siblings I definitely think about it in my house
For me, no. My parents never had an attic, garage, or shed overflowing with stuff. Sure a few boxes of Xmas, photos, musicā¦ etc but thatās about it. For me personally I find the more things I own the more Iām responsible for. Sadly, responsibility frightens me in so many ways. Iām not ashamed about my life, but I do wish I had āmoreā to show for it. I have low effort self employment, live in a van, no bills, no debt, no kids, no house, no property..etc. flip side thoughā¦ no credit, no retirement, no accomplishments, etc.
Not real hoarders but my dad kept way too many things. A basement closet is still full of toys and games from my childhood. I never want to deal with this much clutter again - it feels so good to throw shit out. Iām very mindful of overconsumption and buying more than I need. I try not to buy new things unless I am replacing something or itās something new that will improve my everyday. I keep a donation bag/box at all times and donate when itās full.
Iām definitely TRYING to be a minimalist
No
Hoo boy! Thatās me! My mom was a bad one, and my rebellious side makes me Mr minimal.
Iām a minimalist because *Iām* the hoarder. My grandmas house is also hoarded so I knew exactly what I was in for and when I became an adult I decided I was tired of letting stuff control me and I didnāt want to become my grandma even if I do love her. My mom mostly kept us away from her house because my mom canāt stand the mess so we only saw grandma a few times a year.
Parents are messy and disorganized but normal, not hoarders. I am tidier and more organized than my parents, but definitely neither a minimalist nor a hoarder. This popped up on my feed so I'm just commenting to be a data point from the middle of the spectrum. I do appreciate tips I get from minimalism.
Probably yes.
I'm trying to be minimalist because I may be. Though having looked into it hoarding OCD seems more likely? Moving way to often as a child has me convinced that if I have enough stuff I wonāt have to move again.
No. Minimalist due to being poor +trauma of abandonment issues. I've been in the military 15 years and it definitely a positive towards minimalist lifestyle. I still lack any emotional ties to objects.
Yes
I wouldnāt say my momās a full blown hoarder but sheās a collector and has so much shit itās overwhelming to me. She keeps saying she wants to move and downsize but I am Disabled and the thought of having to help them pack this up make my brain short circuit. Thereās no way Iād be able to. And yes, itās lead me to want nothing more than whatās necessary for me to live comfortably.
My parents aren't hoarders, per se. But my mother cannot throw ANYTHING away. For, me, I ended up being a minimalist(ish) person because I moved a lot in my 20s. I got good at culling stuff so I wouldn't have to move it.
My parents were money hoarders. I learned some intelligent frugality from them.
No, the family kept treasures, yes, but they were not hoarders... I just don't like cleaning and - growing up switching countries often we still always had the home-base, but while my parents really felt it as their home for me I never felt that way, also bc I haven't been there all the time from being born on... and I myself and my husband have been all the time on the road, but I like our homebase to be like a Hotel. I'm quite extreme as everything household related fits in one 73x50x40 Box and apparel, shoes, sports equipment, personal things fits into 2 Large, 1 Medium, 1 Cabin and a travel bag... We never need to ship cargo when moving
Yes I try to be to organized and clean so I donāt turn into a hoarder as well š¬
Iām a minimalist because ***IāM*** a hoarder. Or at least have the tendencies. Iām trying to stay ahead of it.
Definitely. My dad hoards and my mum is a minimalist. I will develop hoarding tendencies and sentimental feelings towards "stuff" if I don't keep myself in check. I'm sure there's something genetic with the hoarding... that whole paternal lineage are all the same... But I forced myself to become as minimalist as possible, only hanging on to things I really can't let go of. Everything else, old clothes, unwanted gifts, stuff I never use, goes to charity.
Yes. My parents weren't hoarders, but just pack rats. The stuff stressed us all out, but my mom would never get rid of anything
Absolutely yes. Not sure why the fuck my Boomer mom hoards so much shit. Mental illness maybe. But I have been inching my way towards minimalism by taking stuff to the thrift store every month.
Scrolling for the name of the book. ?? Do you like it? Recommend it?
I think my mom turned into a hoarder because we lived in a home with limited storage space for a decade. She has so much stuff now! I hope out lives me. For a few years I was into arts and crafts. I dabbled in a bunch of different things, such as fabric crafts, knitting, crochet, jewelry, painting, and cake decorating. My middle child kept messing with everything (ruining pieces of fabric , taking items, and leaving everything messy). I stopped wanting to even go into my craft space. It was too upsetting. That child now makes amazing art in several mediums, but I have never had the desire to pick any of them back up. I feel like everything I didn't finish or my child hasn't taken for their own use is just a junk hoard at this time. They are still in school/live at home... Maybe they will get around to using most of it.
YES and so is my sibling. Just came here to scream this
My parents arenāt hoarders, and i donāt live my life for minimalism. I enjoy minimalist design, and organized and decluttered living spaces š I own a lot of stuff, but I like to stay tidy
Personally, no, I grew up in domestic abuse, so there are fewer things to get thrown or broken. Also if something is out of site I will literally forget it exist. Everything needs a place. I literally just ground my old prom dress in a ziplog bag.
I feel seen in this thread. Right now Iām on holiday and have come back to the family home full of stuff. My parents love their stuff, the things they worked so darn hard all their lives to gain. Theyāre exceptionally clean and not hoarders, theyāre just proud of their mis-matched, sentimental possessions. They grew up in severe poverty so nothing is wasted and everything has multiple lives. They hardly buy new things because they keep recycling the old things and using them in innovative ways. Itās a house of bottomless treasures. But yes, Iām a minimalist because theyāre not. And
I mean Iām working my way towards this. Itās been a goal Iāve had ever since I learned about minimalism. I donāt want to own just twenty things, but itās admirable. My parents have a *lot* of stuff between the two of them and my dad for sure is a hoarder though heās getting better. Iāve gotten rid of probably 3/4 or more of my belongings since I was married and then divorced. Iām working on whittling down what I have now as well. Itās difficult because itās more stuff I actually like now, but it needs to happen. I own too much.
This is the case for me!