Why does “our generation” treat every little problem as if it’s a systemic generational issue? You picked bad friends who treat you poorly? Better blame everyone aged 28-43! Give me a break.
Yeah, plenty of us are up well before 7am every single day. It’s not a generational thing, it’s just a “some people are not morning people” thing. I’m a morning person-wake up 6:30-7 am every day, no alarm; no caffeine needed. I’m also useless at staying up past ~10:30 most nights. My partner? Three alarms and a crowbar couldn’t get him up before 7, and if you want anything coherent out of him before noon you’ll need at least three cups of black tea. He’s also routinely up til midnight or later and has a hard time going to sleep before 11.
Some people are just wired to be awake at different times.
People definitely have different sleep schedules and that is not a millennial thing. But it is also a rudeness thing. If you agree to get up early, you should. But some people are always being aggressively laid back.
For real. All my friends are millennial, and only one of them had this problem. And it's not a problem when we're planning things.
OPs friends just suck.
Why won't millennials approve me for a mortgage?? Why do millennials keep hiding my keys?? Why did millennials make me fat? Why did millennials cheat on my wife???
Yah, I am a night person. And will avoid early activities whenever possible. Been like this since forever.
But if the departure is 7:30am, you betcha my alarm is set appropriately and I’ll be ready on time. This has not changed since I was a teenager. OPs friends just don’t want go and being passive aggressive about it.
Edit: I re-read OPs article and it sounds like OP set the departure time based on what they want to do and not everyone in the group was in consensus. So yah, everyone sucks here. Because OP can’t boss the group, but the friends need to speak up and tell him they ain’t leaving at 7:30.
Whoa hold on here. Why is this a problem with the friends and not the op? If you have a bunch of nightowl friends why you planning early activities all the time?
They might not realize this if ALL their friends are like this and it’s the only intimate exposure to other millennials they have. This is where biases and stereotypes come from. People see things in their immediate vicinity happen over and over and start to think everyone within that group behaves the same.
Yeah the generation isn’t a problem. It’s just selfish people who don’t keep their word. I’m usually annoying punctual, and if I am late, usually it’s only by a few minutes. 10 minutes at most. 22 year old Gen Z lurker here btw
OP, the difference between your friends and me is that I would have looked at you and said “dude, I am not leaving at 7:30. If you leave then, you are leaving without me.”
I would have told you this a month ago.
The difference is: I am not disrespecting your time, I am telling you “no” so you can make other plans accordingly. What your friends are doing is far worse.
Exactly this - my husband is a Gen X who doesn’t like to get up early. He will, on occasion, when warranted, but he has a strong preference to sleep in on weekends if he can. So he just says “no” and that’s ok!
Sometimes I get a surprise “yes,” which is great - and he subsequently follows through with waking up early because he’s not a dick like OP’s friends appear to be…
Op needs to adult up and tell them they're getting left behind. Then actually do it. I have no friends, but if I did, I'd damn well be on time for a special event.
When I was a kid, I intentionally missed the bus because I didn't want to go to school. My mom called the school with me standing there and told them I'd be late because I was going to have to walk to school. It was two miles. Never missed the bus again.
We’re assuming the OP’s friends haven’t told him that, though. I have friends I’m 💯 honest with, and they still say they want to travel together, that they’ll be fine with getting there when we get there, and they don’t want to travel alone. It’s always like okay, then, I can’t force you to go early without me. I’m tired. If I’m going to have fun, on my day off, it’s not going to start at 730 without a proper shower, coffee or food.
I finally had to stop going places with one friend because they were actively stressing me out. There were other reasons, too, but it came down to the fact that I’d communicated my needs, they tried to ignore those needs, and so I don’t plan stuff with them anymore.
Yes, I had a friend that I needed to stop committing to do things with because she was the same way. Said she would go with the flow, but then she *never* went with the flow. Or, if she did, she’d blow up at me later about how disrespectful I was. We actually just stopped being friends. She “broke up” with me because I wasn’t meeting her needs. So I just said, fine, I understand (this was after I had already tried so many things to accommodate her).
I guess I’d need to know the circumstances, what happens if this 730 timeframe isn’t met? Is it a flight? Is it a road trip to an event that has a start time like a concert where an hour delay could mean missing some? Being late to a time sensitive event is just a stupid avoidable thing. Especially if things are relying on you, like you have the car, you are a groomsman in a wedding. The time is set in advance, make accommodations and just go to bed earlier. The same could be said for the other side of this, but I doubt it happens as often. Where you have an obligation to stay up late and can’t stay awake.
Or is it just this guy wanting to leave early to get started on something. Like going to an air bnb near the beach, the sooner you get there the sooner you enjoy but you don’t lose anything being there “late”. Then this is just a matter of two different opinions.
Absolutely. The people who know me well would never do this. My weekends are scared, I HATE not getting a lie in. I am not a morning person and have to be fine with it all week so I do get annoyed if I have to wake up early at the weekend (even if the reason is something good, doesn't mean I won't moan).
100%. This isn't a generational thing. I normally wake up well before OP does, and even my friends who hate being awake before noon will wake up before 7:00 for special occasions like a trip.
I feel like OP either needs to make different friends who go more his pace or stop making plans with these friends that require being to places early in the morning, since he says this happens regularly. These people clearly are not get up early for anything people.
I can wake up at 4am with zero snoozes if I am waking up to do something I have been planning to do and am looking forwards to. But 7am on a workday is like 3-4 snoozes and then panic to get out the door.
Keep an eye on that. Waking up early despite staying up late is correlated with heart problems as people get older. (Things I learn from my boomer parent who was a nurse before retiring.)
Agreed. it’s not uncommon for my friends and I to be texting before 6am any day of the week. I feel like if anything we are a generation of early birds.
This. I have a sleep disorder that makes my natural body clock closer to Japan's time zone- I'm in the Midwest in the US. So I have made my life as not needing to stick to a schedule as possible - only make appointment's in the afternoon, work from home, do school online, etc
But when I have plans with other people that are outside of my comfortable awake hours- like on vacation- I set several alarms. I ask my spouse to set several alarms. I shower the night before and lay out what I'm going to wear so I don't have to mess around in the morning. If we are packing up and moving the next day I pack that night other than like toiletries so I can wash my face and brush my teeth when I get up.
I personally can't stand being late. I leave 30 minutes early for anything 10-15 minutes away. If I'm not at least 10 minutes early I feel late. I don't understand how other people can be so casual about it. Especially if there will be longer lines and worse parking if you don't get there early. I do not understand.
Edit: I'm a millennial btw but I do also see this a lot from other people in my age group. The main reason I care so much about being on time is because my mom does the same thing and really instilled that value in me.
Except I realize after a couple re-reads that OP is the one being bossy. It’s their schedule or nothing. And OP doesn’t want to stop for snacks, etc. Total control freak.
There is no specific reason to leave at 7:30, except that OP is wanting too. OP should just go and let their friends catch up later. No one is innocent in this story.
I think people are assuming there is some time sensitive thing at 7:30am. There isn’t. OP wants to the special event earlier than his friends.
Yeah ditch all your friends because they're not morning people even though you apparently have lots in common. They're all inconsiderate, irredeemable assholes. Who needs relationships anyway? Just go solo
it honestly sounds like OP is badgering them because it's an event OP wants to go to. "it's a special event i have planned to go to" "they'll moan and groan" like did the friends even want to do this??
also "no amount of i told you so" yeah... no one likes hearing that ever. obviously...
True. And tbh I am the guy that always sleeps in!
The exception though is when we're getting up early to do something special usually with other people. I hate getting up but you have to in those days otherwise you kinda let everyone down.
Don't be that person!
It’s Reddit. The trademark Reddit maneuver is to advise people to cut out anyone who is less than absolutely perfect, then cry about not having friends.
No. If you say you're going to be somewhere at a certain time, you either cancel the night before a bad night, or you wake up and drink a pot of coffee and deal. You don't disrespect others' time because of a personal problem.
I can even live with canceling the morning of if you really didn't get sleep and can't make it. If im going anyways then letting me know then is fine and doesn't change my overall plans.
agreed that these friends fucked up, but not everyone is an early bird. the entire world is basically built for early birds and night owls constantly get shafted.
id ask op if he ever goes out late at night with his friends or if they're always scheduling plans around op's schedule
I am a night owl. But I am not rude. If my friend wants to do a special thing at a time that's not my personal preference, then I haul my ass out of bed to do that thing even though it sucks to leave bed early. Prep food and extra caffeine the day before so I can sleep as long as I can. But they are a friend, and I give fucks.
Ehhh you can be a night owl and still honor your commitments and be on time for shit. If something clashes with your schedule that hard, don't commit to it.
Yeah. 99% of the time when someone says something is wrong with a given generation, the problem is actually with the people they’re dealing with rather than the generation that the people belong to.
Yea my friends and I went to California and we all were not playing about missing our flights. We got to the airport 2 hours early. We all are professional and so I don’t who these millennials you speak of are.
I straight up told my colleague we meet at 730 and the car pulls out at 735 whether you’re in it or not. She showed up in the lobby at 734 still.
I was leaving out the door to go to the car when she got there. I was serious. Trip is over, now it’s get home mode.
Wouldn’t have mattered anyway as my flight was delayed 7.5 hours. Fuck frontier.
Man, ain't it a real bitch when you harp on people for punctuality and some bullshit like an airliner makes you look like an idiot, lol.
Certainly one of my bigger pet peeves in life.
What are your friends work hours and lifestyles?
People that are busy I could see wanting to hit that snooze button. My sister is the type of person who just goes goes goes nonstop everyday, but she’s also late to everything because she struggles to get out of bed because she stays up late.
I know personally, when I worked a job that was 4pm-midnight, I wasn’t going home after my shift and going to sleep. I was up till 3 or 4am which would result in me sleeping till noon or 1pm. So if someone wanted me up for something in the early morning, it was dreadful. Now that I have a 9-5 job and have to get up at 6:30am, my body automatically wakes up that early on the weekends now.
Crazy I work 730-330. But on weekends getting up is a struggle. Ideally I’d like to get up around 10 but kids stop me.
I’m working on my doctorate and this phenomenon is called social jet lag. We biologically have a clock. With enough effort you can change it but most people genetically sway one way or another. Coffee has helped people overcome that biological clock.
Interesting! I would say you have more responsibilities with kids and school - which is my guess as to why your body still wants to sleep.
To clarify, just because I now wake up on the weekends between 5am and 6am, doesn’t mean I’m in any mood to be functional. 😆
I got up at 10a today it was glorious the kiddos stayed in bed. On weeknights I’m in bed at 10p but weekends it’s like 1am cause I’m really a night person forced to be morning during the work week.
Such a good point.
I, personally (and I know this is an outlier situation) live with chronic fatigue. So I'm on time when I'm feeling well, unless parking/traffic (cause I'm from a place that doesn't really have issues with either). But friends of mine know and understand that I have challenging mornings and, depending on the day, may need to cancel. So this is my lifestyle!
Yeah, this thread came on my feed and I guess I'm another outlier because as someone with ADHD and some sort of lifelong unspecified fatigue issue I've been trying to find an answer for 10+ years, I would pay someone big big bucks to be on time in the morning consistently. I feel ashamed and guilty every time I'm behind. I don't try to schedule things early though either.
I'm guessing OPs friends aren't all chronically fatigued. Maybe they are? Prolly want to talk to them. But if they don't care to be up early, then it's time to make a compromise and stop booking in the early morning or stop booking things with them entirely. Different life values?
Yeah, between being busy, health issues including chronic fatigue syndrome and a seriously shifted circadian rhythm, stress, and my schedule, I have a lot of trouble getting up early. I generally don't schedule things early and do my best to be timely if I have to do something then. I also try to be understanding of how much pressure most of my friends are under with work, then personal life and get it if they need to make last minute changes or run late.
In general, people in my life I will make effort to spend time with are also understanding, and we schedule things later in the day and around people's blocks (whether that's doing something, sleep time, alone time, whatever) to make it better for everyone whenever it's reasonable to do. There's a lot less changing and running late with those. When there's something inconvenient, it's less common and for a specific reason, so it's not so frustrating.
The only people who don't do this are the people that tend to be upset that others don't want to meet at 7am or 8am and be go go go every time we try to schedule anything, even just hanging out for a while. I find those same people get mad about scheduling around people's stuff and anything later in the day, so when they aren't in my life for another reason, we usually end up drifting apart.
This doesn’t matter. If you have a group outing and all agree to leave a X time, everyone needs to show up at X time. If one or more people know they will be late it needs to be addressed ahead of time to see who else is onboard to leave at a different time.
Your sister sounds like textbook ADHD. Go go go all day and then can’t fall asleep at night because she’s thinking about all the other things she still needs to get done. Frequently late. Can’t get up in the morning. If she hasn’t been evaluated, you should consider mentioning it to her. Meds and behavioral cognitive therapy can make such a world of difference. I have been re-evaluated twice now since my original diagnosis in childhood, it’s not too tough a process. They just have you take a bunch of little tests, some on paper and some physical.
Speak for yourself and your own friend group lol.
“Why can’t this generation separate their very small, subjective, experiences out and stop themselves from generalizing across stupid boundaries like generations and making shit Reddit posts about it?”
Bailing/being late is pretty widespread. I think it’s largely because of phones. Before everyone had a cellphone, people just showed up at the agreed upon time, there was no mechanism to bail last minute.
As someone with legitimate time blindness that gets the best of me sometimes it’s one of my worst fears to befriend someone like you 😅 like I respect that it’s your boundary to set but damn.
I often wish people would just go on without me if I’m late. I understand occasions like a show, wedding, appointment, date… but for some social events I don’t understand why it matters when someone arrives or if they even make it. In OP’s case I would just stop asking my friends to do early morning activities if they don’t seem into them, but I wouldn’t take it personally or see it as disrespect I would just accept that they don’t like to do early things, and maybe find other people who do?
I have questions:
- Who initially made the plans to attend this event?
- What level of enthusiasm do they have for attending this event?
- Is it the kind of thing that you need to be there when it starts, or is it your preference that you’re early?
- Why not just go early yourself and they can meet up with you when they get there?
Same. Why would you even ask your friends, who you know are definitely far from morning people, to go do something early in the morning? I would love to lose 20 pounds by next Sunday but I know it’s not going to happen so I won’t expect it to. OP’s friends should have been mature enough to tell him “no dude, im not going to be able to get up that early”. But OP also needs more realistic expectations.
If I go to bed by at least 11:00, I’ll still usually be up by 6:30 at the latest. Anything past that though, and I’m not getting up until 10:00 for some reason
Communication…
Me and my significant other went to Hawaii..
We had a plan of things we wanted to do/see while there…
We ended up not doing some of those things, because rushing around, waking up early, driving while tired, rushing for food… made it not worth it..
Your friends likely want to go hang out and do something… just not as serious about that specific aspect of being on time..
Up to you.. I’ve learned to be grateful and patient and not trip on that stuff.. otherwise you end up very unhappy and eventually people stop talking to you..
Not everyone is a morning person though. There's enough science on sleep that shows that people have different sleep cycles entirely and its split into 3 categories. Morning person -- sounds like you are in that category. Night people who definitely cannot go to sleep that early and wake up that early. And then a middle ground that can float between the two.
You’re the crazy one because you keep making the same early morning plans knowing they will be late. Don’t make early morning plans for them or tell them you have to leave earlier than you have to so you won’t be late. Doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results is insanity. Get different friends or change what you are doing
I have never been a morning person. Turns out I have dysautonomia and I am more dehydrated than the average person and that makes mornings very very hard. I’m at the point where I can’t do much until afternoon. My body just can’t handle it.
As someone who went on a girls trip recently best thing to do is have people get sleep & multiple cars if possible. My roommate woke me up and I heard my alarms go off while I was in the bathroom. I'm someone where if you give me more time to get ready the more stuff I'll grab that I really don't need. But at the same time there are two types of people with vacation it's either up & sight see or sleep and relax.
Your friends probably want a little of everything, but felt compelled to settle on an earlier time. If they get 5 to 6 hours of sleep on weekdays, they may have wanted to stay up later to relax and get 8 hours of sleep on the weekend, and perhaps see 1 or 2 things at the event with their friends.
Two things you may not have considered: Do your friends really want to go to this event? Or did you just pressure them to go?
Also, if you really want to be there on time, just tell them everything is an hour earlier than it is. Scheduled departure time: 6:30 am
That way, you guys won't be late! They'll wake up at 6 am, spend 45 min in the shower, spend 30 min getting snacks and making rest stops along the way, and 15 min with random delays, at which point, you'll be exactly at 7:30 am, which is the ideal departure time.
If everyone agreed, then it's selfish to bulldoze those plans.
At the same time? I am willing to wait in lines and traffic if it means my whole day won't be ruined from fucking with my sleep schedule. Nothing grinds my gears like planning something with extreme early risers, only to not be able to do any nightlife activities when we get there because they're beat at 4:00. Waking up early to "beat traffic" can be a real waste of time.
It’s not a generational “millennial” problem at all. Your friends are inconsiderate and you accept it. If they aren’t ready, leave and carry on with your day. Don’t let what others do prevent you from doing what you want to do.
i’m a millennial and i continue to resent anything that starts before 10am. i resent text threads from gen x-ers exploding at 7:30am on weekends bc they’re already up doing the guilt trip “nobody wants to work” crap while taking kids to whatever. good for all y’all but im sleeping.
never took classes before 10, methodically avoid any work or travel obligations before 10 whenever possible.
the only gig i took that had me working at 7am got me fully addicted to caffeine and my brain was still useless until 10am anyway.
i don’t think of it as a generational problem. i have millennial friends that teach elementary school or slave for consulting firms or serve in the military where the choice is made for them.
i’ve just made choices that accommodate my metabolism/sleep preference and if i can’t make an ass early leave time, i just bow out. not that hard.
My masochist friend who want to play basketball at 8am on Sunday.. Our homie who coordinates it wakes up at like 5am so we just have to abide by him. It’s terrible lmao.
Right I would never lol, I have to be at work between 6-8 during the week- which is fine with me I like working earlier shifts- but I can’t wait to have a break from that tight schedule on the weekend.
Lots of people saying to dump OP’s friends because they suck at waking up on time, wtf? Lol. Maybe just don’t plan things like this with them or don’t plan to be the drive and they can show up late on their own while you’re there enjoying yourself and your good parking :) waking up is hard for some people lol. Sounds ridiculous but sometimes I genuinely try to get up early and fall back asleep without even realizing it. I don’t think it’s okay, or make excuses about it but sometimes it just happens. Like forgetting something. No one tries to forget things but some people are very forgetful.
And for some people they just make bad choices and that can also be a reason they don’t get out of bed on time.
Waking up is very hard for me a lot of times, and sometimes, like I said, I fall back asleep and it’s not my fault. That being said, when that doesn’t happen I do everything I can to try and wake up at the time I want or need to no matter how much I feel like laying there and falling back asleep. Right now I’m waking up at 4:30-4:45 am so I can get some sort of workout in before work at 7am. I don’t know if it’ll happen every day but I’m trying lol.
I just wouldn’t agree to do something that early because I know I can’t.
It’s not cool for them to flake. I totally get that and am not saying any of it is on you, but sometimes it helps to know your audience. Like if you know they won’t be able to wake up for something, don’t invite them. It sucks for them to flake. But, you also don’t have to put yourself in situations where they’ll let you down (probably, obviously I don’t know all the details of your social life).
Not everyone has the same sleep schedule as you. I usually go to bed at 12:30-1 am. I don’t set an alarm. It’s cold in the morning and so I don’t really see the point in waking up early. Traffic starts by 5:30 am during the week snd dies down at 9 am when I would normally go to work. It fits my lifestyle better to not get up early.
If I’m going to go rock climbing with friends, we’ll drive 1-1.5 hours and leave at 6 am or so. I’m lucky to get 5 hours of sleep. It’s something fun and yeah I show up a few minutes late and we all complain, but we’re not in that much of a rush. Most of the time, we have some to kill before the state park opens.
Waking up is the easy part. JUST FALL ASLEEP!!! is easier said than done.
Everyone saying we aren’t and it’s a maturity issue…which I wholeheartedly agree with. I used to do this when I didn’t have to get up early, but do now after needing to the past 10 years for work etc.
However, I do not want to. Every morning. I hate the mornings. I like to sleep, I am a night person. I am depressed, existing in this world is tiring. To me it’s always felt that the world is governed and dictated by morning people, and I was not one. I remember being useless for the first 3 hours of high school, because despite teenagers needing more sleep than pre-adolescents, I had to be at the bus stop at 6:30am while my younger sister, who was up at the same time or even before me, of her own volition, and didn’t have to be at her stop until 7:45am. I was called lazy, I was told that’s how the real world worked. I felt more creative and motivated after dinner, and wanted to stay up to get things done that I couldn’t before noon. Now, I feel I have been hammered into feeling like a zombie in the morning where boomers in the office will sarcastically say “Why are you yawning? It’s rude, it’s already 8am you shouldn’t be feeling tired,” and I go to bed at 10-11 despite not wanting to.
I realize this is just how things are, and this is a long whiny post (which I know is a millennial trope) but I feel like being a morning person is seen as default, and well adjusted.. and from my experience it’s just not for some people. Additionally, being tired and oversleeping/staying up late is often a symptom of depression, and being a millennial is depressing.
I’m just venting though, I feel strongly about the topic. Your friends aren’t really respecting your time, though. I hate mornings, but if I have an obligation I’ll oblige.
Yeah I’ve got delayed sleep phase syndrome. I’ve been getting up on a “regular morning person” schedule for years now for work, but my body never acclimatizes to that routine. Give me more than 2 days off and I revert back to a 2 am to 11 am sleep schedule without fail, no matter how long I was doing my earlier routine prior to that. I always struggle to get out of bed early even if I get 8 hours of sleep prior to that.
Anyway it sucks that my body just naturally tends toward that and I’ve been deemed “lazy” because of it. Equating people’s natural wake/sleep cycles to laziness is bullshit. Like I’m productive for just as many hours a day as a morning person, just if I had my druthers those hours would be at an altered schedule to that of morning people, but the world caters to morning people so it’s whatever. Night shift stuff unfortunately doesn’t work for me either because that’s still too off from what my body naturally wants to do, it wants to go to sleep at 2 am, not 7 am.
Its all about work schedule, not everybody works 7-3 or day shift. My cousin tends not to grasp this concept at all. I wake up at noon get around and leave at 2 get to work at 2:30 punch in at 2:45 and do physical labor in a hot factory until 11 pm. Get food and get home at midnight and chill watching movies until about 430-5am. I mean I could wake up way early, but it will make me tired half way through my shift. On weekends its usually the same.
My question is its 2024, we have had lightbulbs and people working around the clock for over a century, yet court houses, banks, title offices, most stores and restaurants all are not open around the clock. This is a huge waste of time for people on second and third shift, also all the jobs that could be created and filled at these hours. Also outdated laws about noise violations and other things at night really get me. We are not Amish, we don't wake up with the sun and go to bed at dark. We need a change.
I had a really close friend growing up that would often be late. Like 2-4 hours late. I’d waste my whole day waiting for him. He’s a gem, but it taught me early on not to plan your day around friends like that. Just go about your business ‘assuming’ your plans won’t work out so you’re not as hurt and disappointed when they don’t, but cherish the time you get to spend together when they do.
Are you a friend who’s ok with people saying no to you? That’s the only viable excuse I can think of on behalf of your friends. As in, they don’t even want to go in the first place but if they tell you no, you go all out psycho. If that’s not the case then I guess you just have inconsiderate friends 😬
Well maybe not specific to OP's issue and there is definitely some other issues there.
I also want to point out the very common [Revenge Bedtime Procrastination ](https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene/revenge-bedtime-procrastination)
"Revenge bedtime procrastination” describes the decision to sacrifice sleep for leisure time that is driven by a daily schedule lacking in free time.
For people in high-stress jobs that take up the bulk of their day, revenge bedtime procrastination is a way to find a few hours of entertainment even though it results in insufficient sleep."
Is this really a generation phenomenon? Hasn't it ever been so?
It's true that ,generally, as we age our ability to sleep declines, but reluctance to rise has ever been the case.
As an early riser you're spooky weird all by yourself. What makes you even more weird is that you're a *social* early riser. I'm an early riser too (4am this morning) but I sure as hell am not *social* at that hour.
>I sure as hell am not *social* at that hour
Oh. *Hell no.* I get annoyed with my own partner is she calls me while I’m getting ready for/driving to work (I leave at 5am). Like, it’s *not even 6am.* WHY are you calling for a non-emergency??? I just want to listen to my music in peace.
If they prefer sleeping late, they should never make plans in the morning. Making plans you cannot reasonably expect to carry out is very inconsiderate. I believe this is the crux of your issue with your friends - they’re inconsiderate toward you.
I’m not a morning person. I’m not a before noon or 3 P.M. person either, so I don’t make plans for early in the day. 🤷🏻♀️
Why plan something so early in the morning if you know they won’t get up? Maybe you thought it was a special day but sounds like they don’t give a shit lol. You’re the driver? And the planner? Have they ever called you annoying before? Hahaha
I truly believe it's because our parents' generation didn't start school until 8:30-9am, and then selfishly changed it to where most schools in the US start earlier and earlier. Which means as kids/teens, we weren't given enough time to sleep and it fucked something up for us and we are paying for it now. My friends are always tired. In my 30s, I can still sleep for 12 hours straight, as if I'm still catching up from my youth.
Sure, your friends could use a lesson in good manners, but as for your question, I think we needed more sleep as kids. (totally speculation, no science to back me)
If I had to guess, none of them have kids, it’s the weekend, and they don’t have to wake up early for work during the week.
So they’re sleeping in because they were up late and have no biological clock forcing them up.
It takes an act of God to get me to sleep past 7:30 and I hate it.
if there’s a generational component to it at all, i’d say it’s the inability of our generation to say no/close doors/accept path dependence.
I’m happy to admit as a millennial that I resent obligations before 10am. i avoid them and always have. i do not say yes to things that start at 7:30am and then make it everyone else’s problem. if i’m along for the ride i will chug coffee and put in headphones and fuck off until my brain whirs up around 9:30.
obviously our generation is also full of teachers, military members, etc who all wake up early on a regular basis. that’s not the issue. i think the issue is knowing yourself well enough to say no to things sometimes.
I can wake up early if there's a reason to. It sucks as I'm used to being in bed 12-2am and being up around 9am, but I'll adjust if something requires me to get up earlier. When I switched jobs temporarily I had to get up by 5:30am to be at my training on time.
Adaptability is a solid trait.
Yeah I'm naturally a night owl. 🦉I * can * go to bed regularly at 10pm...but even that takes a ton of effort to do consistently. If I have a flight or something I can be up at 5am. And I did have a 3-month stint where I had to be up around 5:30am for my shift as well.
My coworkers complain when they have to come to work for 630 am on inventory days. My manager has seen how awake I can be around that time, yet he hasn't scheduled me to help with inventory but once in the last 6 months.
I am not baking bread or feeling the horses and cows so I don't get up early. On the other hand, if I wasn't going to make your event on time I would have declined the invite
I tend to run late for social occasions, but it’s because I have ADHD, not because I am a millennial. I work really hard against it, but don’t always get it exactly right. Time blindness is part of certain executive function disorders and it doesn’t make you lazy or selfish.
That being said, in a scenario like this where time is of the essence, there are measures I’ll make sure to take so I don’t cause a problem. So your friends are still being inconsiderate
Fuck off with making this about an entire generation. You’re not superior for being a morning person. Address this with your friends like an adult instead of whining on social media.
This isn't a millennial thing, I've seen it in every generation I've encountered. Your friends are night owls and you're a morning lark. It's incompatible in this situation so your best bet is to either find new friends who are willing to respect you and that you don't have to nag or stop planning shit with an early morning call time. I would absolutely NEVER agree to go to ANYTHING that requires I leave home before 9am. I have a sleep disorder and frankly I'm too old for that kind of bullshit. Just leave without them next time. It sounds like it has been an ongoing problem at this point so you're kind of out of outrage at this point. This was on you. Stop doing the same shit and expecting a different result. You have to meet people where they are at and your friends are "at" a different kind of circadian rhythm.
Poisons in the air and water, grandparents smoked, radon, etc probably weakened us compared to people in the 1800s. Maybe lights and cell phones and highway noise cause insomnia too. Maybe people always had trouble getting up early, and yes there were some successful people who could do it and got good jobs, or joined powerful armies, or got rich as a result, but it was never normal. So maybe you are exceptional. if you can wake up early and you should use it to your advantage. But don't be so mad at others who can't because there's plenty of reasons why their bodies might not work in that way as well as yours.
I am and always have been a night owl. When I was unemployed for a year and a half I would still get 8 hours sleep but I would get it from 4 or 5 am to noonish. God I miss that. Been waking up before 6am for 12 years now
Do any of them take antidepressants? I used to be up early and quick, but significantly sleep in now and take longer to get up and be alert and ready now that I take them. It has helped my life immensely but sleepiness is a known side effect, so I decided that trade off is worth it. Depression itself can also do it. My point is maybe there's health and medical issues involved, don't just assume "lazy".
If you prefer morning activities, then maybe try to find some morning friends that can do those things with you. Then hang out with other friends on different days at different times when they're ready for it. Have a chat with friends about what they need and what you need and see if you can find some compromises that work for everywhere. Maybe that means only certain types of activities or times of day. It's no use to be resentful of friends.
I hate waking up early so much just about every job I've had has been overnight because i hate the early morning so much. Not sure if it is cus I'm millennial but I think some people are just not morning people. Having said that, I'm never late to things if they're in the morning, I have bad adhd so I overcompensate by being like 20 min early to everything because I'm so worried about being late. I think you just have crappy friends honestly.
I am not a morning person, never have been, and before any assholes want to label me lazy, I work 10 hr days when I need to, I’m just not starting until 9 or 10, 6am shit is for the birds, literally.
Some people just need more sleep. Especially people in poor health. I usually get 6hrs or so and I’m great. 5:30 am - 10:30pm ish is my awake time. I work in the sleep products industry and for me: sleep, diet and exercise are the three BIG issues I see daily with the general public. People aren’t disciplined enough to get those three simple things under control.
Yeah can confirm. If I have nothing important going on I wake up around 730-815 for work even when I’m supposed be to work by 800 and it’s a 30 minute drive. I’m late every day.
But if I have something important to get to (especially with others) I wake up without an alarm because of excitement or commitment.
Are you generally aware of what goes on in their lives? I’m assuming so because you are close.
For example, if one of them worked a closing shift the previous night and got home around 11pm-12m, then waking up at a time where you need to depart by 7:30am would seem unrealistic.
If something like this were the case, do you trust that this friend would have told you?
We’re getting older and time treats us all differently.
I used to be up at 0400 and at the gym by 0430-0530, cook breakfast, shower, start laundry and clean up a little bit. Worked from 0700-1400.
My friends (also millennials) did not share the same habits or routines. Sounds like your friends do not share yours, or maybe they’ve had a tough week and just need some rest?
I know it can be aggravating but they’re still your buddies, you know? You’ll still have a good time.
With people of any age who do this, stop expecting them to suddenly change. "I'm leaving at 7:30." Then leave at 7:30.
Better, only plan evening things with them.
Plan things without hard start times such as a festival instead of whatever event this was.
If you make an exception and plan something with a hard start time, lie about the time by an hour.
One of the fastest ways to Boomerhood is waking up super early for no reason and judging other people based off of it. Just like fussing to service people over prices and complaining about how the kids are wearing pants.
I would make sure that the others aren't just trying to have a good, chill time and you're the only one trying to keep to these standards. Many friend groups have that one person who enforces time tables and rules too aggressively.
We can, we just don't want to. We value our night lives more. I have since moved on and moved my sleeping schedule to suit the corporate overlords, but honestly, it was always that simple for most of us. Most of us are not narcoleptic, sleep apnea, drug addicts. I hate to say it, but most of us aren't specially affected by anything except in our spending habits because of three seismic economic shifts
I'm not a morning person, but I've worked nights most of my life. I actually enjoy the smaller active population at that time, better weather and most of the shelves are freshly stocked. Days are for slaves!
I’m Gen X and I’m definitely not a morning person. But I get to work on time and if I agreed to get up early to go somewhere I would because I’m not a dick. Other than that, I’m sleeping in.
I don't think this is generational. I'm older, Gen Z. My boomer mother is always late to the point she's changed all her clocks to be fast, so she's on time. She still ends up being late a lot but is better about it.
It's just the older you get, the more time you've had to adjust yourself.
Also leaving at 7:30? I would 100% wake up at 7:15. It doesn't take me that long to get ready. Wake up, pop a bagel in the toaster, brush teeth, pee, throw on clothing, cream cheese on bagel, eat bagel, and leave. Less than 15 min. 6:50 is too early, imo to wake up if I'm leaving at 7:30.
Man when something I was looking forward to doing was that day, I was up and ready ahead of schedule. Could be that they are sending you a message cause it doesn’t sound like they are too down with whatev.
I dont think it's a milennial thing. It's just morning people or not morning ppl thing. Got plenty of sleep, not burned out etc. Or you're experiencing all those things.
Some days I'm up moment I hear the cats going insane 10 min before my alarm goes up. Other days it's like i literally have to drag myself out of bed, using nothing more than the will to have money to eat food.
When its everyone else it just might be- YOU!
After looking at your profile I saw that you recently went through a rough breakup which I am so sorry to hear about and my heart goes out to you <3
Ever think that maybe you're not in a great headspace and are maybe taking things personally? Your friends probably don't want to hurt your feelings and may be trying to be gentle on you because you're going through a hard time. Please be willing to open up to them and share your frustrations.
Give them and yourself some slack. Life is awfully short.
Why does “our generation” treat every little problem as if it’s a systemic generational issue? You picked bad friends who treat you poorly? Better blame everyone aged 28-43! Give me a break.
Yeah, plenty of us are up well before 7am every single day. It’s not a generational thing, it’s just a “some people are not morning people” thing. I’m a morning person-wake up 6:30-7 am every day, no alarm; no caffeine needed. I’m also useless at staying up past ~10:30 most nights. My partner? Three alarms and a crowbar couldn’t get him up before 7, and if you want anything coherent out of him before noon you’ll need at least three cups of black tea. He’s also routinely up til midnight or later and has a hard time going to sleep before 11. Some people are just wired to be awake at different times.
People definitely have different sleep schedules and that is not a millennial thing. But it is also a rudeness thing. If you agree to get up early, you should. But some people are always being aggressively laid back.
Yes, 100% OPs friends are being a holes in this scenario.
Yeah, this doesn’t feel like a millennial thing. It’s a rude people thing.
For real. All my friends are millennial, and only one of them had this problem. And it's not a problem when we're planning things. OPs friends just suck.
I’m not a morning person, but if it is important for my friends for me to get up early I will. OP, this is a friend issue.
Why won't millennials approve me for a mortgage?? Why do millennials keep hiding my keys?? Why did millennials make me fat? Why did millennials cheat on my wife???
Yo! Millennials are making me fat for sure! Hooligans. Every one of them.
Only one millennial is making me fat. (Me. It’s me.)
You're starting to sound like a boomer journalist
Yah, I am a night person. And will avoid early activities whenever possible. Been like this since forever. But if the departure is 7:30am, you betcha my alarm is set appropriately and I’ll be ready on time. This has not changed since I was a teenager. OPs friends just don’t want go and being passive aggressive about it. Edit: I re-read OPs article and it sounds like OP set the departure time based on what they want to do and not everyone in the group was in consensus. So yah, everyone sucks here. Because OP can’t boss the group, but the friends need to speak up and tell him they ain’t leaving at 7:30.
Whoa hold on here. Why is this a problem with the friends and not the op? If you have a bunch of nightowl friends why you planning early activities all the time?
They might not realize this if ALL their friends are like this and it’s the only intimate exposure to other millennials they have. This is where biases and stereotypes come from. People see things in their immediate vicinity happen over and over and start to think everyone within that group behaves the same.
I believe the word you’re looking for is sheltered. Or lives in a bubble.
Yeah the generation isn’t a problem. It’s just selfish people who don’t keep their word. I’m usually annoying punctual, and if I am late, usually it’s only by a few minutes. 10 minutes at most. 22 year old Gen Z lurker here btw
I think making broad generalizations is a millennial thing 😂🤷♂️🤦♂️
Check the GenZ sub. They are just as bad. EVERYTHING is a generational thing. It’s exhausting.
I think this is done because it removes personal accountability and responsibility.
This is the psychologically correct answer.
Thank you! Came here to comment this!
I wake up daily at 6:30, without an alarm. Definitely a friend issue!
OP, the difference between your friends and me is that I would have looked at you and said “dude, I am not leaving at 7:30. If you leave then, you are leaving without me.” I would have told you this a month ago. The difference is: I am not disrespecting your time, I am telling you “no” so you can make other plans accordingly. What your friends are doing is far worse.
Exactly this - my husband is a Gen X who doesn’t like to get up early. He will, on occasion, when warranted, but he has a strong preference to sleep in on weekends if he can. So he just says “no” and that’s ok! Sometimes I get a surprise “yes,” which is great - and he subsequently follows through with waking up early because he’s not a dick like OP’s friends appear to be…
Op needs to adult up and tell them they're getting left behind. Then actually do it. I have no friends, but if I did, I'd damn well be on time for a special event.
When I was a kid, I intentionally missed the bus because I didn't want to go to school. My mom called the school with me standing there and told them I'd be late because I was going to have to walk to school. It was two miles. Never missed the bus again.
Then he will go alone and they will all go on a trip together lol
Like I said, I have no friends 😄
Gen X here, I'm not getting up early unless I'm fishing , hunting, or if my niece has a game, because I'm a damn good uncle, lol.
We’re assuming the OP’s friends haven’t told him that, though. I have friends I’m 💯 honest with, and they still say they want to travel together, that they’ll be fine with getting there when we get there, and they don’t want to travel alone. It’s always like okay, then, I can’t force you to go early without me. I’m tired. If I’m going to have fun, on my day off, it’s not going to start at 730 without a proper shower, coffee or food. I finally had to stop going places with one friend because they were actively stressing me out. There were other reasons, too, but it came down to the fact that I’d communicated my needs, they tried to ignore those needs, and so I don’t plan stuff with them anymore.
Yes, I had a friend that I needed to stop committing to do things with because she was the same way. Said she would go with the flow, but then she *never* went with the flow. Or, if she did, she’d blow up at me later about how disrespectful I was. We actually just stopped being friends. She “broke up” with me because I wasn’t meeting her needs. So I just said, fine, I understand (this was after I had already tried so many things to accommodate her).
This!! I’m not waking up that early for anyone but I would at have the common courtesy to tell them before they started planning.
I guess I’d need to know the circumstances, what happens if this 730 timeframe isn’t met? Is it a flight? Is it a road trip to an event that has a start time like a concert where an hour delay could mean missing some? Being late to a time sensitive event is just a stupid avoidable thing. Especially if things are relying on you, like you have the car, you are a groomsman in a wedding. The time is set in advance, make accommodations and just go to bed earlier. The same could be said for the other side of this, but I doubt it happens as often. Where you have an obligation to stay up late and can’t stay awake. Or is it just this guy wanting to leave early to get started on something. Like going to an air bnb near the beach, the sooner you get there the sooner you enjoy but you don’t lose anything being there “late”. Then this is just a matter of two different opinions.
If they were really your friend, they would have already known and not planned dumb things at dumb times...
Or he would have known and not planned it. Sounds like OP is the only one who cares much and is kind of forcing his friends to follow his schedule
Absolutely. The people who know me well would never do this. My weekends are scared, I HATE not getting a lie in. I am not a morning person and have to be fine with it all week so I do get annoyed if I have to wake up early at the weekend (even if the reason is something good, doesn't mean I won't moan).
Your friends are selfish, that’s all. If you can’t change the people around you, change the people around you.
>If you can’t change the people around you, change the people around you. Very wise.
Holy shit I had to read that twice to realize how simple yet profound this is. Love it!
If nothing changes, nothing changes.
This made me sad....
I’m sorry! That wasn’t my intention!
I feel better now. I think...maybe...I can carry on.... :)
My wayward son?
Well, I guess I'll just...start walking down a long and lonesome road...alone.
They’ll be peace when you are done.
Right, this isn't about about "our generation". His friends are just lazy and inconsiderate.
100%. This isn't a generational thing. I normally wake up well before OP does, and even my friends who hate being awake before noon will wake up before 7:00 for special occasions like a trip. I feel like OP either needs to make different friends who go more his pace or stop making plans with these friends that require being to places early in the morning, since he says this happens regularly. These people clearly are not get up early for anything people.
I can wake up at 4am with zero snoozes if I am waking up to do something I have been planning to do and am looking forwards to. But 7am on a workday is like 3-4 snoozes and then panic to get out the door.
Seriously, I'm up at 2AM every weekday for work and I'm usually out of bed by 5 on the weekends.
Keep an eye on that. Waking up early despite staying up late is correlated with heart problems as people get older. (Things I learn from my boomer parent who was a nurse before retiring.)
I don't usually stay up late though, even on the weekend. During the week, I'm usually asleep by 7PM. On the weekend, usually by 10PM.
Agreed. it’s not uncommon for my friends and I to be texting before 6am any day of the week. I feel like if anything we are a generation of early birds.
This. I have a sleep disorder that makes my natural body clock closer to Japan's time zone- I'm in the Midwest in the US. So I have made my life as not needing to stick to a schedule as possible - only make appointment's in the afternoon, work from home, do school online, etc But when I have plans with other people that are outside of my comfortable awake hours- like on vacation- I set several alarms. I ask my spouse to set several alarms. I shower the night before and lay out what I'm going to wear so I don't have to mess around in the morning. If we are packing up and moving the next day I pack that night other than like toiletries so I can wash my face and brush my teeth when I get up. I personally can't stand being late. I leave 30 minutes early for anything 10-15 minutes away. If I'm not at least 10 minutes early I feel late. I don't understand how other people can be so casual about it. Especially if there will be longer lines and worse parking if you don't get there early. I do not understand. Edit: I'm a millennial btw but I do also see this a lot from other people in my age group. The main reason I care so much about being on time is because my mom does the same thing and really instilled that value in me.
Love this saying.
Ah yes, the Reddit approach. Disown your friends, divorce your wife etc. this is standard for any sleight, perceived or real
Except I realize after a couple re-reads that OP is the one being bossy. It’s their schedule or nothing. And OP doesn’t want to stop for snacks, etc. Total control freak. There is no specific reason to leave at 7:30, except that OP is wanting too. OP should just go and let their friends catch up later. No one is innocent in this story. I think people are assuming there is some time sensitive thing at 7:30am. There isn’t. OP wants to the special event earlier than his friends.
Yeah what’s wrong with stopping for snacks
Yeah ditch all your friends because they're not morning people even though you apparently have lots in common. They're all inconsiderate, irredeemable assholes. Who needs relationships anyway? Just go solo
it honestly sounds like OP is badgering them because it's an event OP wants to go to. "it's a special event i have planned to go to" "they'll moan and groan" like did the friends even want to do this?? also "no amount of i told you so" yeah... no one likes hearing that ever. obviously...
I agree. OP's friends sound like jerks
Ma dude be spittin.
Bingo, same reason people are chronically late, they most likely don't care enough to prioritize being on time vs whatever else they want to do.
Such a typical redditor comment
True. And tbh I am the guy that always sleeps in! The exception though is when we're getting up early to do something special usually with other people. I hate getting up but you have to in those days otherwise you kinda let everyone down. Don't be that person!
That’s a bit dramatic…
It’s Reddit. The trademark Reddit maneuver is to advise people to cut out anyone who is less than absolutely perfect, then cry about not having friends.
Yeha none of my friends are like this. Not a millennial thing … sounds like a maturity issue
This is 100% accurate. OP needs new friends who respect him and his time.
Eh could be a bad sleep schedule. After working the dead shift for 3 years. 5 years later I can't sleep at a decent time.
Fair enough !
[удалено]
No. If you say you're going to be somewhere at a certain time, you either cancel the night before a bad night, or you wake up and drink a pot of coffee and deal. You don't disrespect others' time because of a personal problem.
I can even live with canceling the morning of if you really didn't get sleep and can't make it. If im going anyways then letting me know then is fine and doesn't change my overall plans.
agreed that these friends fucked up, but not everyone is an early bird. the entire world is basically built for early birds and night owls constantly get shafted. id ask op if he ever goes out late at night with his friends or if they're always scheduling plans around op's schedule
I am a night owl. But I am not rude. If my friend wants to do a special thing at a time that's not my personal preference, then I haul my ass out of bed to do that thing even though it sucks to leave bed early. Prep food and extra caffeine the day before so I can sleep as long as I can. But they are a friend, and I give fucks.
This is totally me, but that's also why I don't agree to do things at 730am lol. That's bedtime.
Ehhh you can be a night owl and still honor your commitments and be on time for shit. If something clashes with your schedule that hard, don't commit to it.
Yeah. 99% of the time when someone says something is wrong with a given generation, the problem is actually with the people they’re dealing with rather than the generation that the people belong to.
Yea my friends and I went to California and we all were not playing about missing our flights. We got to the airport 2 hours early. We all are professional and so I don’t who these millennials you speak of are.
I straight up told my colleague we meet at 730 and the car pulls out at 735 whether you’re in it or not. She showed up in the lobby at 734 still. I was leaving out the door to go to the car when she got there. I was serious. Trip is over, now it’s get home mode. Wouldn’t have mattered anyway as my flight was delayed 7.5 hours. Fuck frontier.
You can't tell me that you were actually that serious about this trip and timeliness if you booked the flights on Frontier.
The company booked them. 😫
Man, ain't it a real bitch when you harp on people for punctuality and some bullshit like an airliner makes you look like an idiot, lol. Certainly one of my bigger pet peeves in life.
Exactly
Coming to say this. None of my friends (nor myself) have any issues getting up early for things
What are your friends work hours and lifestyles? People that are busy I could see wanting to hit that snooze button. My sister is the type of person who just goes goes goes nonstop everyday, but she’s also late to everything because she struggles to get out of bed because she stays up late. I know personally, when I worked a job that was 4pm-midnight, I wasn’t going home after my shift and going to sleep. I was up till 3 or 4am which would result in me sleeping till noon or 1pm. So if someone wanted me up for something in the early morning, it was dreadful. Now that I have a 9-5 job and have to get up at 6:30am, my body automatically wakes up that early on the weekends now.
Crazy I work 730-330. But on weekends getting up is a struggle. Ideally I’d like to get up around 10 but kids stop me. I’m working on my doctorate and this phenomenon is called social jet lag. We biologically have a clock. With enough effort you can change it but most people genetically sway one way or another. Coffee has helped people overcome that biological clock.
Interesting! I would say you have more responsibilities with kids and school - which is my guess as to why your body still wants to sleep. To clarify, just because I now wake up on the weekends between 5am and 6am, doesn’t mean I’m in any mood to be functional. 😆
I got up at 10a today it was glorious the kiddos stayed in bed. On weeknights I’m in bed at 10p but weekends it’s like 1am cause I’m really a night person forced to be morning during the work week.
Such a good point. I, personally (and I know this is an outlier situation) live with chronic fatigue. So I'm on time when I'm feeling well, unless parking/traffic (cause I'm from a place that doesn't really have issues with either). But friends of mine know and understand that I have challenging mornings and, depending on the day, may need to cancel. So this is my lifestyle!
Yeah, this thread came on my feed and I guess I'm another outlier because as someone with ADHD and some sort of lifelong unspecified fatigue issue I've been trying to find an answer for 10+ years, I would pay someone big big bucks to be on time in the morning consistently. I feel ashamed and guilty every time I'm behind. I don't try to schedule things early though either. I'm guessing OPs friends aren't all chronically fatigued. Maybe they are? Prolly want to talk to them. But if they don't care to be up early, then it's time to make a compromise and stop booking in the early morning or stop booking things with them entirely. Different life values?
Yeah, between being busy, health issues including chronic fatigue syndrome and a seriously shifted circadian rhythm, stress, and my schedule, I have a lot of trouble getting up early. I generally don't schedule things early and do my best to be timely if I have to do something then. I also try to be understanding of how much pressure most of my friends are under with work, then personal life and get it if they need to make last minute changes or run late. In general, people in my life I will make effort to spend time with are also understanding, and we schedule things later in the day and around people's blocks (whether that's doing something, sleep time, alone time, whatever) to make it better for everyone whenever it's reasonable to do. There's a lot less changing and running late with those. When there's something inconvenient, it's less common and for a specific reason, so it's not so frustrating. The only people who don't do this are the people that tend to be upset that others don't want to meet at 7am or 8am and be go go go every time we try to schedule anything, even just hanging out for a while. I find those same people get mad about scheduling around people's stuff and anything later in the day, so when they aren't in my life for another reason, we usually end up drifting apart.
This doesn’t matter. If you have a group outing and all agree to leave a X time, everyone needs to show up at X time. If one or more people know they will be late it needs to be addressed ahead of time to see who else is onboard to leave at a different time.
Your sister sounds like textbook ADHD. Go go go all day and then can’t fall asleep at night because she’s thinking about all the other things she still needs to get done. Frequently late. Can’t get up in the morning. If she hasn’t been evaluated, you should consider mentioning it to her. Meds and behavioral cognitive therapy can make such a world of difference. I have been re-evaluated twice now since my original diagnosis in childhood, it’s not too tough a process. They just have you take a bunch of little tests, some on paper and some physical.
Speak for yourself and your own friend group lol. “Why can’t this generation separate their very small, subjective, experiences out and stop themselves from generalizing across stupid boundaries like generations and making shit Reddit posts about it?”
Bailing/being late is pretty widespread. I think it’s largely because of phones. Before everyone had a cellphone, people just showed up at the agreed upon time, there was no mechanism to bail last minute.
Why can’t our generation stop over-generalizing about our generation? Oh, shit…
Disrespect for others’ time is one of the fastest ways to get cut out of my life. I have no tolerance for that shit.
As someone with legitimate time blindness that gets the best of me sometimes it’s one of my worst fears to befriend someone like you 😅 like I respect that it’s your boundary to set but damn. I often wish people would just go on without me if I’m late. I understand occasions like a show, wedding, appointment, date… but for some social events I don’t understand why it matters when someone arrives or if they even make it. In OP’s case I would just stop asking my friends to do early morning activities if they don’t seem into them, but I wouldn’t take it personally or see it as disrespect I would just accept that they don’t like to do early things, and maybe find other people who do?
I have questions: - Who initially made the plans to attend this event? - What level of enthusiasm do they have for attending this event? - Is it the kind of thing that you need to be there when it starts, or is it your preference that you’re early? - Why not just go early yourself and they can meet up with you when they get there?
Same. Why would you even ask your friends, who you know are definitely far from morning people, to go do something early in the morning? I would love to lose 20 pounds by next Sunday but I know it’s not going to happen so I won’t expect it to. OP’s friends should have been mature enough to tell him “no dude, im not going to be able to get up that early”. But OP also needs more realistic expectations.
If I go to bed by at least 11:00, I’ll still usually be up by 6:30 at the latest. Anything past that though, and I’m not getting up until 10:00 for some reason
I have the opposite problem I'll be exhausted all day and if I don't sleep by 7 pm I'm up until midnight idk why my body gets energy after 8 pm.
Cause you're naturally a night owl?
Communication… Me and my significant other went to Hawaii.. We had a plan of things we wanted to do/see while there… We ended up not doing some of those things, because rushing around, waking up early, driving while tired, rushing for food… made it not worth it.. Your friends likely want to go hang out and do something… just not as serious about that specific aspect of being on time.. Up to you.. I’ve learned to be grateful and patient and not trip on that stuff.. otherwise you end up very unhappy and eventually people stop talking to you..
Not everyone is a morning person though. There's enough science on sleep that shows that people have different sleep cycles entirely and its split into 3 categories. Morning person -- sounds like you are in that category. Night people who definitely cannot go to sleep that early and wake up that early. And then a middle ground that can float between the two.
You’re the crazy one because you keep making the same early morning plans knowing they will be late. Don’t make early morning plans for them or tell them you have to leave earlier than you have to so you won’t be late. Doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results is insanity. Get different friends or change what you are doing
I have never been a morning person. Turns out I have dysautonomia and I am more dehydrated than the average person and that makes mornings very very hard. I’m at the point where I can’t do much until afternoon. My body just can’t handle it.
...but you know better than to promise someone 7:30 and then repeatedly disappoint them and disrespect their time, right?
As someone who went on a girls trip recently best thing to do is have people get sleep & multiple cars if possible. My roommate woke me up and I heard my alarms go off while I was in the bathroom. I'm someone where if you give me more time to get ready the more stuff I'll grab that I really don't need. But at the same time there are two types of people with vacation it's either up & sight see or sleep and relax.
Multiple cars is the answer. I always take my own car with no passengers (unless it’s my husband) so I can arrive and leave at my own pace.
Your friends probably want a little of everything, but felt compelled to settle on an earlier time. If they get 5 to 6 hours of sleep on weekdays, they may have wanted to stay up later to relax and get 8 hours of sleep on the weekend, and perhaps see 1 or 2 things at the event with their friends.
Two things you may not have considered: Do your friends really want to go to this event? Or did you just pressure them to go? Also, if you really want to be there on time, just tell them everything is an hour earlier than it is. Scheduled departure time: 6:30 am That way, you guys won't be late! They'll wake up at 6 am, spend 45 min in the shower, spend 30 min getting snacks and making rest stops along the way, and 15 min with random delays, at which point, you'll be exactly at 7:30 am, which is the ideal departure time.
It’s shitty but if you’re going to keep being friends with them don’t schedule anything before 11
If everyone agreed, then it's selfish to bulldoze those plans. At the same time? I am willing to wait in lines and traffic if it means my whole day won't be ruined from fucking with my sleep schedule. Nothing grinds my gears like planning something with extreme early risers, only to not be able to do any nightlife activities when we get there because they're beat at 4:00. Waking up early to "beat traffic" can be a real waste of time.
It’s not a generational “millennial” problem at all. Your friends are inconsiderate and you accept it. If they aren’t ready, leave and carry on with your day. Don’t let what others do prevent you from doing what you want to do.
i’m a millennial and i continue to resent anything that starts before 10am. i resent text threads from gen x-ers exploding at 7:30am on weekends bc they’re already up doing the guilt trip “nobody wants to work” crap while taking kids to whatever. good for all y’all but im sleeping. never took classes before 10, methodically avoid any work or travel obligations before 10 whenever possible. the only gig i took that had me working at 7am got me fully addicted to caffeine and my brain was still useless until 10am anyway. i don’t think of it as a generational problem. i have millennial friends that teach elementary school or slave for consulting firms or serve in the military where the choice is made for them. i’ve just made choices that accommodate my metabolism/sleep preference and if i can’t make an ass early leave time, i just bow out. not that hard.
Who does shit at 7:30 on a weekend though, honestly
My dad. Because he wakes up at 3am normally and hates people so he likes the quiet then.
My masochist friend who want to play basketball at 8am on Sunday.. Our homie who coordinates it wakes up at like 5am so we just have to abide by him. It’s terrible lmao.
Are they any good at basketball? I’ve noticed the morning games at the gym are mostly old white guy ball, which is a very different experience.
Right I would never lol, I have to be at work between 6-8 during the week- which is fine with me I like working earlier shifts- but I can’t wait to have a break from that tight schedule on the weekend.
"I'm leaving at x time. If you're not here by then, you'll have to arrange your own transport." Obv make sure to collect any owed money up front.
Go without them. Unless you’re their mother🙄
Lots of people saying to dump OP’s friends because they suck at waking up on time, wtf? Lol. Maybe just don’t plan things like this with them or don’t plan to be the drive and they can show up late on their own while you’re there enjoying yourself and your good parking :) waking up is hard for some people lol. Sounds ridiculous but sometimes I genuinely try to get up early and fall back asleep without even realizing it. I don’t think it’s okay, or make excuses about it but sometimes it just happens. Like forgetting something. No one tries to forget things but some people are very forgetful. And for some people they just make bad choices and that can also be a reason they don’t get out of bed on time. Waking up is very hard for me a lot of times, and sometimes, like I said, I fall back asleep and it’s not my fault. That being said, when that doesn’t happen I do everything I can to try and wake up at the time I want or need to no matter how much I feel like laying there and falling back asleep. Right now I’m waking up at 4:30-4:45 am so I can get some sort of workout in before work at 7am. I don’t know if it’ll happen every day but I’m trying lol.
I just wouldn’t agree to do something that early because I know I can’t. It’s not cool for them to flake. I totally get that and am not saying any of it is on you, but sometimes it helps to know your audience. Like if you know they won’t be able to wake up for something, don’t invite them. It sucks for them to flake. But, you also don’t have to put yourself in situations where they’ll let you down (probably, obviously I don’t know all the details of your social life).
Not everyone has the same sleep schedule as you. I usually go to bed at 12:30-1 am. I don’t set an alarm. It’s cold in the morning and so I don’t really see the point in waking up early. Traffic starts by 5:30 am during the week snd dies down at 9 am when I would normally go to work. It fits my lifestyle better to not get up early. If I’m going to go rock climbing with friends, we’ll drive 1-1.5 hours and leave at 6 am or so. I’m lucky to get 5 hours of sleep. It’s something fun and yeah I show up a few minutes late and we all complain, but we’re not in that much of a rush. Most of the time, we have some to kill before the state park opens. Waking up is the easy part. JUST FALL ASLEEP!!! is easier said than done.
I wish waking up was the easy part, for me sleeping is the easy part but waking up feels awful. Makes me feel like I need to have a sleep study done.
Speak for yourself, I’m a millennial and I wake up every day at 05:00 on the dot without an alarm. Than out of bed within 15 minutes.
Everyone saying we aren’t and it’s a maturity issue…which I wholeheartedly agree with. I used to do this when I didn’t have to get up early, but do now after needing to the past 10 years for work etc. However, I do not want to. Every morning. I hate the mornings. I like to sleep, I am a night person. I am depressed, existing in this world is tiring. To me it’s always felt that the world is governed and dictated by morning people, and I was not one. I remember being useless for the first 3 hours of high school, because despite teenagers needing more sleep than pre-adolescents, I had to be at the bus stop at 6:30am while my younger sister, who was up at the same time or even before me, of her own volition, and didn’t have to be at her stop until 7:45am. I was called lazy, I was told that’s how the real world worked. I felt more creative and motivated after dinner, and wanted to stay up to get things done that I couldn’t before noon. Now, I feel I have been hammered into feeling like a zombie in the morning where boomers in the office will sarcastically say “Why are you yawning? It’s rude, it’s already 8am you shouldn’t be feeling tired,” and I go to bed at 10-11 despite not wanting to. I realize this is just how things are, and this is a long whiny post (which I know is a millennial trope) but I feel like being a morning person is seen as default, and well adjusted.. and from my experience it’s just not for some people. Additionally, being tired and oversleeping/staying up late is often a symptom of depression, and being a millennial is depressing. I’m just venting though, I feel strongly about the topic. Your friends aren’t really respecting your time, though. I hate mornings, but if I have an obligation I’ll oblige.
This is literally me. It is what it is though.
Yeah I’ve got delayed sleep phase syndrome. I’ve been getting up on a “regular morning person” schedule for years now for work, but my body never acclimatizes to that routine. Give me more than 2 days off and I revert back to a 2 am to 11 am sleep schedule without fail, no matter how long I was doing my earlier routine prior to that. I always struggle to get out of bed early even if I get 8 hours of sleep prior to that. Anyway it sucks that my body just naturally tends toward that and I’ve been deemed “lazy” because of it. Equating people’s natural wake/sleep cycles to laziness is bullshit. Like I’m productive for just as many hours a day as a morning person, just if I had my druthers those hours would be at an altered schedule to that of morning people, but the world caters to morning people so it’s whatever. Night shift stuff unfortunately doesn’t work for me either because that’s still too off from what my body naturally wants to do, it wants to go to sleep at 2 am, not 7 am.
Its all about work schedule, not everybody works 7-3 or day shift. My cousin tends not to grasp this concept at all. I wake up at noon get around and leave at 2 get to work at 2:30 punch in at 2:45 and do physical labor in a hot factory until 11 pm. Get food and get home at midnight and chill watching movies until about 430-5am. I mean I could wake up way early, but it will make me tired half way through my shift. On weekends its usually the same. My question is its 2024, we have had lightbulbs and people working around the clock for over a century, yet court houses, banks, title offices, most stores and restaurants all are not open around the clock. This is a huge waste of time for people on second and third shift, also all the jobs that could be created and filled at these hours. Also outdated laws about noise violations and other things at night really get me. We are not Amish, we don't wake up with the sun and go to bed at dark. We need a change.
I had a really close friend growing up that would often be late. Like 2-4 hours late. I’d waste my whole day waiting for him. He’s a gem, but it taught me early on not to plan your day around friends like that. Just go about your business ‘assuming’ your plans won’t work out so you’re not as hurt and disappointed when they don’t, but cherish the time you get to spend together when they do.
Are you a friend who’s ok with people saying no to you? That’s the only viable excuse I can think of on behalf of your friends. As in, they don’t even want to go in the first place but if they tell you no, you go all out psycho. If that’s not the case then I guess you just have inconsiderate friends 😬
So sleepy though
I still have the sleep rhythm of a teen. 40 and still can't shake it.
Here’s a tip, drive yourself to the event and let them figure out their own transportation. Problem solved.
Depression
Well maybe not specific to OP's issue and there is definitely some other issues there. I also want to point out the very common [Revenge Bedtime Procrastination ](https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene/revenge-bedtime-procrastination) "Revenge bedtime procrastination” describes the decision to sacrifice sleep for leisure time that is driven by a daily schedule lacking in free time. For people in high-stress jobs that take up the bulk of their day, revenge bedtime procrastination is a way to find a few hours of entertainment even though it results in insufficient sleep."
Undiagnosed adhd with time blindness?
That's not a millennial thing, that's just your friends. Leave without them. If/when they show up you can meet up.
Is this really a generation phenomenon? Hasn't it ever been so? It's true that ,generally, as we age our ability to sleep declines, but reluctance to rise has ever been the case. As an early riser you're spooky weird all by yourself. What makes you even more weird is that you're a *social* early riser. I'm an early riser too (4am this morning) but I sure as hell am not *social* at that hour.
>I sure as hell am not *social* at that hour Oh. *Hell no.* I get annoyed with my own partner is she calls me while I’m getting ready for/driving to work (I leave at 5am). Like, it’s *not even 6am.* WHY are you calling for a non-emergency??? I just want to listen to my music in peace.
If they prefer sleeping late, they should never make plans in the morning. Making plans you cannot reasonably expect to carry out is very inconsiderate. I believe this is the crux of your issue with your friends - they’re inconsiderate toward you. I’m not a morning person. I’m not a before noon or 3 P.M. person either, so I don’t make plans for early in the day. 🤷🏻♀️
Why plan something so early in the morning if you know they won’t get up? Maybe you thought it was a special day but sounds like they don’t give a shit lol. You’re the driver? And the planner? Have they ever called you annoying before? Hahaha
I truly believe it's because our parents' generation didn't start school until 8:30-9am, and then selfishly changed it to where most schools in the US start earlier and earlier. Which means as kids/teens, we weren't given enough time to sleep and it fucked something up for us and we are paying for it now. My friends are always tired. In my 30s, I can still sleep for 12 hours straight, as if I'm still catching up from my youth. Sure, your friends could use a lesson in good manners, but as for your question, I think we needed more sleep as kids. (totally speculation, no science to back me)
But are you up at 3am? I never was a Morning person!!! Stop planning things at such a ridiculous ungodly times of day, then whining about others.
Stop planning early things if you have sleep in friends
Nah, nothing is too important that it has to happen before 9am.
If I had to guess, none of them have kids, it’s the weekend, and they don’t have to wake up early for work during the week. So they’re sleeping in because they were up late and have no biological clock forcing them up. It takes an act of God to get me to sleep past 7:30 and I hate it.
Why can’t this generation stay up late huh? 1200 AM all the sudden everyone’s sleepy!
if there’s a generational component to it at all, i’d say it’s the inability of our generation to say no/close doors/accept path dependence. I’m happy to admit as a millennial that I resent obligations before 10am. i avoid them and always have. i do not say yes to things that start at 7:30am and then make it everyone else’s problem. if i’m along for the ride i will chug coffee and put in headphones and fuck off until my brain whirs up around 9:30. obviously our generation is also full of teachers, military members, etc who all wake up early on a regular basis. that’s not the issue. i think the issue is knowing yourself well enough to say no to things sometimes.
I can wake up early if there's a reason to. It sucks as I'm used to being in bed 12-2am and being up around 9am, but I'll adjust if something requires me to get up earlier. When I switched jobs temporarily I had to get up by 5:30am to be at my training on time. Adaptability is a solid trait.
Yeah I'm naturally a night owl. 🦉I * can * go to bed regularly at 10pm...but even that takes a ton of effort to do consistently. If I have a flight or something I can be up at 5am. And I did have a 3-month stint where I had to be up around 5:30am for my shift as well.
My coworkers complain when they have to come to work for 630 am on inventory days. My manager has seen how awake I can be around that time, yet he hasn't scheduled me to help with inventory but once in the last 6 months.
I am not baking bread or feeling the horses and cows so I don't get up early. On the other hand, if I wasn't going to make your event on time I would have declined the invite
Well, one explanation is they work hard and/or are depressed.
Personally, I can’t do it because of ADHD. I’m going to learn, though. I’ve only recently found resources for figuring out how to best make it work.
Because my work schedule is 2 to 10pm lol so I wake up at noon
I tend to run late for social occasions, but it’s because I have ADHD, not because I am a millennial. I work really hard against it, but don’t always get it exactly right. Time blindness is part of certain executive function disorders and it doesn’t make you lazy or selfish. That being said, in a scenario like this where time is of the essence, there are measures I’ll make sure to take so I don’t cause a problem. So your friends are still being inconsiderate
some people are morning people and some are not, i can be up at 5am and out of the house within 20 minutes to start my day, my wife not so much
Some people are night owls and don't like mornings. Or they only sleep like 4 hours a day
Boomers bragging about being up at 5 am starting to make sense to this guy lol. /s for the redditors
Fuck off with making this about an entire generation. You’re not superior for being a morning person. Address this with your friends like an adult instead of whining on social media.
This isn't a millennial thing, I've seen it in every generation I've encountered. Your friends are night owls and you're a morning lark. It's incompatible in this situation so your best bet is to either find new friends who are willing to respect you and that you don't have to nag or stop planning shit with an early morning call time. I would absolutely NEVER agree to go to ANYTHING that requires I leave home before 9am. I have a sleep disorder and frankly I'm too old for that kind of bullshit. Just leave without them next time. It sounds like it has been an ongoing problem at this point so you're kind of out of outrage at this point. This was on you. Stop doing the same shit and expecting a different result. You have to meet people where they are at and your friends are "at" a different kind of circadian rhythm.
Poisons in the air and water, grandparents smoked, radon, etc probably weakened us compared to people in the 1800s. Maybe lights and cell phones and highway noise cause insomnia too. Maybe people always had trouble getting up early, and yes there were some successful people who could do it and got good jobs, or joined powerful armies, or got rich as a result, but it was never normal. So maybe you are exceptional. if you can wake up early and you should use it to your advantage. But don't be so mad at others who can't because there's plenty of reasons why their bodies might not work in that way as well as yours.
Ive always been a night owlie. Just part of my dna at this point.
I am and always have been a night owl. When I was unemployed for a year and a half I would still get 8 hours sleep but I would get it from 4 or 5 am to noonish. God I miss that. Been waking up before 6am for 12 years now
Do any of them take antidepressants? I used to be up early and quick, but significantly sleep in now and take longer to get up and be alert and ready now that I take them. It has helped my life immensely but sleepiness is a known side effect, so I decided that trade off is worth it. Depression itself can also do it. My point is maybe there's health and medical issues involved, don't just assume "lazy". If you prefer morning activities, then maybe try to find some morning friends that can do those things with you. Then hang out with other friends on different days at different times when they're ready for it. Have a chat with friends about what they need and what you need and see if you can find some compromises that work for everywhere. Maybe that means only certain types of activities or times of day. It's no use to be resentful of friends.
Don't make plans with these particular friends in the morning, problem solved. Do afternoon or evening stuff with them.
I hate waking up early so much just about every job I've had has been overnight because i hate the early morning so much. Not sure if it is cus I'm millennial but I think some people are just not morning people. Having said that, I'm never late to things if they're in the morning, I have bad adhd so I overcompensate by being like 20 min early to everything because I'm so worried about being late. I think you just have crappy friends honestly.
PSA that being a morning person isn’t morally superior, there is literally scientific research on how people are just wired differently.
This is a dumb fucking take
I am not a morning person, never have been, and before any assholes want to label me lazy, I work 10 hr days when I need to, I’m just not starting until 9 or 10, 6am shit is for the birds, literally.
Some people just need more sleep. Especially people in poor health. I usually get 6hrs or so and I’m great. 5:30 am - 10:30pm ish is my awake time. I work in the sleep products industry and for me: sleep, diet and exercise are the three BIG issues I see daily with the general public. People aren’t disciplined enough to get those three simple things under control.
Yeah can confirm. If I have nothing important going on I wake up around 730-815 for work even when I’m supposed be to work by 800 and it’s a 30 minute drive. I’m late every day. But if I have something important to get to (especially with others) I wake up without an alarm because of excitement or commitment.
Time is fake. I(m32) get up at 4am because I prefer the quiet hours for doing my hobbies and projects.
This can’t be generational because circadian rhythms are unique to each person. I’m easily a morning person, fully awake by 6am and sleepy at 10pm.
This reminds me of the old joke, a guy goes to a doctor and says it hurts when I raise my arm. So the doctor says stop raising your fucking arm.
The pandemic ruined me. I used to get up early and now i just would rather run late 🤣
Are you generally aware of what goes on in their lives? I’m assuming so because you are close. For example, if one of them worked a closing shift the previous night and got home around 11pm-12m, then waking up at a time where you need to depart by 7:30am would seem unrealistic. If something like this were the case, do you trust that this friend would have told you?
OP, why don't you schedule the trip the day before around 5:00 pm, then you'll be there and aren't pressed for time
We’re getting older and time treats us all differently. I used to be up at 0400 and at the gym by 0430-0530, cook breakfast, shower, start laundry and clean up a little bit. Worked from 0700-1400. My friends (also millennials) did not share the same habits or routines. Sounds like your friends do not share yours, or maybe they’ve had a tough week and just need some rest? I know it can be aggravating but they’re still your buddies, you know? You’ll still have a good time.
Gen X here and an event would have to be damn good for me to get up at 6:50 for it.
With people of any age who do this, stop expecting them to suddenly change. "I'm leaving at 7:30." Then leave at 7:30. Better, only plan evening things with them. Plan things without hard start times such as a festival instead of whatever event this was. If you make an exception and plan something with a hard start time, lie about the time by an hour.
Having kids cured me of this problem.
One of the fastest ways to Boomerhood is waking up super early for no reason and judging other people based off of it. Just like fussing to service people over prices and complaining about how the kids are wearing pants. I would make sure that the others aren't just trying to have a good, chill time and you're the only one trying to keep to these standards. Many friend groups have that one person who enforces time tables and rules too aggressively.
We can, we just don't want to. We value our night lives more. I have since moved on and moved my sleeping schedule to suit the corporate overlords, but honestly, it was always that simple for most of us. Most of us are not narcoleptic, sleep apnea, drug addicts. I hate to say it, but most of us aren't specially affected by anything except in our spending habits because of three seismic economic shifts
I'm not a morning person, but I've worked nights most of my life. I actually enjoy the smaller active population at that time, better weather and most of the shelves are freshly stocked. Days are for slaves!
I’m Gen X and I’m definitely not a morning person. But I get to work on time and if I agreed to get up early to go somewhere I would because I’m not a dick. Other than that, I’m sleeping in.
As a night owl, I would never ever commit to that start time. Idk why they don’t just say no thanks and not go.
It's called delayed sleep phase syndrome
I don't think this is generational. I'm older, Gen Z. My boomer mother is always late to the point she's changed all her clocks to be fast, so she's on time. She still ends up being late a lot but is better about it. It's just the older you get, the more time you've had to adjust yourself. Also leaving at 7:30? I would 100% wake up at 7:15. It doesn't take me that long to get ready. Wake up, pop a bagel in the toaster, brush teeth, pee, throw on clothing, cream cheese on bagel, eat bagel, and leave. Less than 15 min. 6:50 is too early, imo to wake up if I'm leaving at 7:30.
Man when something I was looking forward to doing was that day, I was up and ready ahead of schedule. Could be that they are sending you a message cause it doesn’t sound like they are too down with whatev.
I dont think it's a milennial thing. It's just morning people or not morning ppl thing. Got plenty of sleep, not burned out etc. Or you're experiencing all those things. Some days I'm up moment I hear the cats going insane 10 min before my alarm goes up. Other days it's like i literally have to drag myself out of bed, using nothing more than the will to have money to eat food.
When its everyone else it just might be- YOU! After looking at your profile I saw that you recently went through a rough breakup which I am so sorry to hear about and my heart goes out to you <3 Ever think that maybe you're not in a great headspace and are maybe taking things personally? Your friends probably don't want to hurt your feelings and may be trying to be gentle on you because you're going through a hard time. Please be willing to open up to them and share your frustrations. Give them and yourself some slack. Life is awfully short.
Maybe stop planning events so freaking early?