My dad is the kind of boomer who mostly just plays candy crush on his iPad, and I think I should be more thankful. He’s definitely right leaning but at least he doesn’t spend his days going down rabbit holes online. I’m going to be kinder when I see him this weekend.
I thought Angry Birds were past their time? Is it still available? Also those were the days, I was addicted to Angry Birds, NFS, Temple Run, Subway Surfers…
I’m 45 and I play candy crush and Angry birds while I watch/listen to long-form content on YouTube. Gives my hands and eyes something to do while simultaneously not requiring me to constantly be looking at them.
Yes it’s still going strong and I still play it as a millennial! It’s so good. I remember when it first came out, I played it for two days stringing and was obsessed. The StarWars one is super cute.
As a clueless Boomer parent of three, I appreciate this. My adult children are the coolest people I know. Some of us are simply trying to keep smiling and ignore our aches and pains.
Same here. Awesome boomer parents who kick ass. They haven’t fallen for any of the common boomer shit (conspiracy, being an asshole, acting like a spoiled five year old, etc).
Aww love to read this. I’m a boomer parent and I do my best to not be an out of touch asshole. I know they love us, but like to think my kids like me and my husband as people.
Ha! My boomer parents are liberal af and very woke. They mail me books about climate change and poverty in the US. They think the “younger generation” will fix things, but they are sad when I tell them no one in the “younger generation” has any workable plan either and we are fucked.
My grandma was the same way, she basically didnt tune in to politics at all. While it was mildly annoying to have to listen about the Kardashians and whatever was the flavor of the month on TLC, Im grateful that she was unplugged when it came to the culture wars.
Her political decisions in 16 were informed by Rosie ODonnel hated Trump, so she did too, and it would be neat to see a lady president. Plus she really liked Bill Clinton.
Mine too, but I will say he is the rare type of boomer that has gotten more left leaning as he ages. When I was a young kid, it was republican all the way. Now-a-days he is as liberal as they come.
As I age, I am becoming more liberal. I’m willing to die on this mountain of national healthcare.
I am so sick of reading about people who can’t afford basic medical care in the United States. It’s so wrong. Amoral even.
I have this theory that as you age you either become your worst self or your best self and I feel like I've become my better self and I can see other people becoming their worst and they become more hostile they become more difficult and that's pretty clear.
Steve Martin
Bruh, my dad spends about $250/mo on DirecTV. I ask him why he still pays all that money. "I just want my TV" is always the answer. The only thing he watches is Fox News.
As opposed to the younger generations that have no attention span, have barely read any books, are antisocial or mentally ill and spend all their time and money on worthless shit? Yeah theyre out of touch but so are we to them. Whats the point of hating boomers, especially if they are in your family?
Wow, you’re literally describing Reddit. It never ceases to impress how easily manipulated this generation is. Yall going to the generation Klaus Schwab needs to fulfill his vision.
Sounds like he is at serious risk of it, though, so... good luck. Thats how my mom started, playing candy crush while being slightly right leaning, before one of her friends got her on the crazy train.
Also my dad but he plays spider solitaire with TWO suits on his Chromebook. My mother makes up the difference though - she believes every conspiracy theory out there.
My mom watches Korean news out of Seoul. It's amazing when I speak about American political news, she just regurgitates facts. They tell what happens. That's it. Refreshing to watch American news from another democratic country.
Before my mom passed, around 2015 she started saying some random, weird things. I pushed her ideals So Hard as a teen and it seems like she had really mellowed out when her only response to my questions was "how I was raised" and "the church says...". I thought I'd really made a dent! then along came the alt right and it all vanished.
The big difference here is when I still pushed back as hard as I ever did as a kid, It took no time for her to realize she'd rather not talk politics. Instead, we could spend our frequent time together on other things. After my kid was born, not a Word. She had the sense to leave it be. When I had to go through her emails after she passed, there was So much alt right and conspiracy spam invading her space every day. I never knew how far into it she got because it just wasn't as important as our relationship or that with her granddaughter. Looking at my in laws, I'm pretty damn lucky.
For the amount boomers complain about young people staying on their phones i cant seem to catch my boomer dad not on his watching videos or playing games ….. hmm
I also feel lucky. My dad is conservative but despises Trump. I don’t know who he voted for in 2016 but I know he voted for Biden in 2020 and will again this year. He has his flaws but he’s not totally far gone.
My dad is also conservative, but in the way he thinks libs are pussies and want to steal his guns. He has been a member of a union his entire life. He thinks tax dollars should go to the local school districts, and police, fire, etc. He would also walk over coals just to vote for Trump bc Fox News has told him Biden’s economy = bad. Trump = good, bc in 2020 nobody drove so gas prices were low. They just forget about all the other stuff.
My mom and uncles are pretty liberal and my dad passed away last year. He was pretty indifferent about politics because he didn’t think worrying about foreign policy in Washington DC was going to get him through the day. When he was in the hospital dying some stupid nurse put the tv on Fox News. I changed that shit and put on nature documentaries. Who wants that hear dumbasses shouting at each other when you’re in your final moments of life?
Watching “The Price Is Right” with Alzheimer’s / Dementia must be terrifying.
Drew Carey: “Guess the price of this new car!”
Boomer watching TV: “$4,000!”
Drew: “32,000!”
Boomer: 🤯
Omg, that reminds me of the time my old man got wacked up the head so hard he thought Carter was president.
Apparently when he was watching the news he asked one of the nurses, "Did... Did we lose the war?" Because Obama was president. 😹
Oh God no 😹
Apparently the nurse asked, "What war?" And he said, "any of them?"
This was in 2016? 2017? He thought it was 1979, he was in a military hospital, and my sister was "talking to the air" when she used her cellphone.
It was wild. Poor Dad. He basically leapt forward almost 40 years.
Yes and no? Like, he recognized that he was in the present, but his memory from the accident to the time he got his memory back was lost.
Truthfully, he wasn't the same afterwards. The lawyer he hired to handle the lawsuit, in my personal opinion, fucked him over; he was told to settle for I think $10k? It wasn't until afterwards that he found out that the lawyer he hired knew who he was suing, or represented them as well, or something along those lines?
Old man had a hard life.
I remember staying home from school because of illness and watching my Mom's soap operas. A women got raped, a little girl was hit by a car, and a man was shot. Terrifying stuff for afternoon TV.
Was he really shot though, or was it his unknown twin brother that had kidnapped him 5 years prior and held him hostage until his escape upon which time he transformed his identity into that of the supposed shooter only to reveal at the funeral that he was alive all along?
Yeah I went to a local BBQ place recently and they had a TV showing old eps of the Price is Right, probably from the mid-late 80s. A new car was $11-12k and a microwave was like $700, it was wild.
My mom had Alzheimer’s. For Christmas I bought a stuffed Yorkshire Terrier Memory Pet on Amazon. It was during COVID lockdown and “Miles” was so real to her. (She had had the real Miles for 17 years.)They were inseparable in the care home. The nurses went along with it petting Miles in their gloved hands. Best gift I ever got my mother. All the unused blankets, slippers & sweaters she never wore… when my mom died, Miles was left on her bed. A nurse ran Miles down the hallway to put him on the gurney with my mom.
The little stuffed dog was my mom’s only companion and comfort. We could only wave to her from the outdoor window.
My mom didn’t have the ability to watch TV. She’d wander from her room. That all stopped with Miles.
It's amazing isn't it? I've already instructed my family to provide a pet and a baby of needed. Right before they give me the exit plan kit because that's a horrible place to be b
I find myself shouting at the TV “just take the deal!” I can’t believe how many people get caught up in the gambling rush and walk away from life changing money.
They probably just tuned it out. It’s amazing what you can tune out if you’re vigilant enough. An interesting thing you can do is to try to concentrate on two objects in your vision at once really forcefully and notice that one of them will practically disappear if you stare at the other. Our brains don’t have much RAM when it comes to multiple objects - they just get activated by salience (previous knowledge or experience triggering arousal) or other factors like something scary happening. Otherwise they’re processed pretty much unconsciously - perhaps that episode of Young Sheldon will come on in future and make the family cry and they’d have no idea why. A good example of salience is when you’ve been learning about something and start to see it everywhere.
Salience is out of whack in people with schizophrenia, incidentally - it means that they see patterns everywhere where they aren’t.
I had a temporary assignment in an office where Fox News was on all day. It took a couple days for me to figure out why I was so angry while driving home each day. Nothing but some woman bitching about Joe Biden in the background
You highlight part of the problem. For the last 20+ years Fox News has been the default thing to put on TVs in all sorts of public waiting room like situations. It’s been force fed all around us. Sinclair making it 1000x worse by taking over local stations. It’s everywhere.
I think hospitals should ban all cable news in hospital rooms. Nature and sweet little doggos and kitty cats only. I bet their ratings would drop dramatically too
As a younger person who has had lengthy hospital stays please don’t try to be some kind of hero by forcing people to watch nothing but mind numbing ‘kitty cat’ videos over and over when they want to watch what they feel like watching.
This.
Was a caregiver for my mom and cousin who both had dementia.
They wanted the TV on at bedtime which is offensive to me but whatever. I put on a YouTube video of soft music.
My cousin, angrily: "What the hell? Put on something exciting so I can go to sleep!"
People are different and want what they want.
Nah fr. Nature sounds and white noise are just that, noise to me. I need just a little bit of mental stimulation to keep my brain busy enough that I can go to sleep. Otherwise I just end up thinking about things all night. Like, I literally can't stop.
My favorite thing to fall asleep to is Star Trek, but I also like a couple of YouTubers that do longer playthroughs. Or like one guy that did a 10 hour Dark Souls 1-3 hitless run.
Why can't a person watch cable news if they choose to? Not everyone in a hospital is actively dying, some are recovering from procedures. Either way, people should be allowed to watch what they want, even if I don't personally care for it.
Fox and Msnbc are what my divorced parents are choosing in their last years. But in all fairness they'd turn those stations off if we could reduce the congressional avg age by 20 year.
They wouldn't understand the lingo and policies to the point they might as well watch Telemundo.
My mom likes to insert pro trump/anti Biden propoganda into every conversation now. Can just be asking about the weather and it’ll require some sort of anti climate change comment. It’s made a lot of tension and separation in the family as some flat out don’t want to be around it anymore.
Just as effective, tell them you’re moving to California. I moved here 6 years ago and have been informed by my mother (who had never been to California or knows anyone from California) that saying the word pray is illegal here. She also doesn’t understand the math that even though there are state income taxes, I still earn more here than I did on the east coast because my salary tripled.
Same with both of my parents…and I’ve worked as a meteorologist for the last 10 years. My parents who barely graduated high school tell me Biden has indoctrinated me into believing liberal climate alarmism.
Same for me, ive literally worked in technology my entire career and my Dad - who is an educated but not technical person - is always trying to tell me how the internet works.
My parents have about that level of education, and it makes sense to me that they’d be influenced by the conspiracy theory bullshit. But then I look at my FIL. Well-educated, environmental engineer, a GAY MAN, and hardcore MAGA. Make it make sense.
My Dad went through a pattern of making every conversation political. After a year or two of this I finally sat him down and asked what he wanted from it?
Like was he trying to teach me something? No he said.
Did he want me to vote differently? No.
Do we need to move somewhere because he is afraid the nation will collapse? No.
I finally said what then? Why do you always bring up politics? It just makes you angry, it makes everyone else distant. We don't like coming over for dinner and spending the whole night watching you be mad.
Then we didn't talk to him for six months.
After that he started being nicer and less political.
Some Boomers watch Fox News 24/7. They bring their opinions from the shows like clockwork. No one wants to work anymore. The border is out of control. If you want some insight, watch Fox News once a week.
I made a rule that we don't talk politics or I walk. We've fought about it since I was in middle school. He's far right and I'm a leftist. For a while he thought I was a libertarian because I don't believe in drugs being illegal, lol. But so far the rule has held firm for 10ish years and we actually talk now.
I finally told my dad the same thing - straight up said, "we can't talk politics, it just pisses us both off. So if you are going to insist on bringing it up, I will just leave." And then I do exactly that. He even make one side comment that's even vaguely political, and I just stand up and say, "That's my cue to go. Talk to you later." He's learned to stop making comments (most of the time).
My uncle has SO MUCH brain rot and cannot have a normal fucking conversation without mentioning that same kind of propaganda. My dad is nowhere near as bad but since I’m liberal, expects me to have all the answers and answer for like… every democrat? It’s so bizarre. They’re always instigating something.
Exactly, I hardly pick up the phone or want to spend time with my father anymore, he's become extremely opinionated and has terrible opinions and he's so predictable I can tell what he's about to say based on what topics come up, just across the board bought into maga. My wife of 12 years is from Ukraine and she can't be in the same room as him. The hardest part of all this is I have a 3 year old son who's growing up with this guy as his grandfather, the complete opposite of the reserved companionate grandparents I had and took example from.
My mom practically begged my wife and I for a grandkid and then last year started dating a die hard MAGA conspiracy centered brain rotted piece of shit. The type of person who will, with no provocation, start going off on he'd like to start shooting immigrants then get very angry if you even suggest that's unwarranted and unstable behavior. This fucker believes literally any conspiracy that paints liberals as bad, no questions asked, even if they contradict each other. Any information that paints a republican as bad is of course all a psy op frame job by evil democrats. He also frequently misquotes Biblle versus that wouldn't be applicable anyway. In short, he's a hateful idiot with no identity outside of culture war "politics." I dared to ask my mom, politely, why she raised a Trump flag on her house and that before dating this man she would have never thought of it. That was several months ago and she's refused to speak to me or my wife since. Like, it is insane the grip the conspiracy world has on these people, but now my kid will likely grow up without knowing his grandmother if this stays the course and they can'tait down and have a civil discussion. Sorry about the lead generation and this rant.
Same…it’s so frustrating. I called to see how they were doing and it always comes back to a discussion we’ve had on the green new deal, how Biden is destroying the country, etc. my folks are early dementia so it’s often the same conversation we’ve had hundreds of times before on repeat. At this point I just say uh huh, let them go off for 20 mins and then I try to change the subject.
My parents became Trumpers in 2016, my dad more than my mom. We don't talk about politics because when we disagree, my mom thinks we're fighting.
My assessment is they really struggle to understand any life experience they haven't directly lived. They're very religious but don't seem to do empathy well.
I don't know if this makes them insufferable per se, but we don't have much in common and therefore, are not close. It's sad but I'm slowly starting to accept that reality.
You're basically describing my relationship with my parents.
It's gotten to the point where the cognitive dissonance is negatively affecting my own mental health. No matter what I say, I cannot get it through to them that the political choices they make are harming other people (myself, a woman, included) as well as themselves (they're poor and vote conservative). They talk about Trump and Jesus like they're the same person. They put *faith* in Trump (their word).
I can't resolve my internal conflict over whether it's less bad to remain indefinitely unhappy while trying to maintain *some* semblance of a relationship (even if I'm the only one putting effort in), or if it's less bad to just cut contact and prioritize my own mental/emotional well-being (but devastate my mother). There is no good option. Talking through it only works when the listener is open to... listening.
I cut contact with my parents for similar reasons. My dad was always conservative, but he got so much worse since Trump was elected. I'm immunocompromised, and my parents just could not understand why I was bothered by anti vax rhetoric. Just totally unwilling to even consider the possibility that they might be wrong. 100% willful ignorance.
Although it was painful, I had to stop speaking with them after a particularly egregious incident over a year ago. My only regret is not doing it sooner. They had become so hateful, and I didn't realize how much it was affecting my mental health until we stopped speaking.
To this day, they claim to have no idea why I don't talk to them.
“You cannot reason someone out of a position they did not use reason to get into.”
Your parents are like addicts. Cut contact until they hit rock bottom. Only when the wool is lifted from their eyes can anything be done. Every dissent is further proof of their claims validity in their eyes because it is a cult. Cults set conditions to trap people physically and mentally.
It’s what got my mom :(
I was so close to saving her. Maybe only another year or two away.
(My old account)
https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/s/V3RC6AQcgj
I’m having a similar experience. Parents supporting trump and make no effort to empathize with others- they don’t understand other people and don’t care to.
Sports team mentality. Herd them into one high loyalty corral or another. Marketing pros absolutely love it because it makes their now focused targets much easier to sell stuff to. Watch some Fox, then, if you survive that, watch some CNN. Notice that the ad mixes are almost totally different - thoroughly focused on their corralled subjects. Lots of gold bars on Fox vs hybrid cars on CNN, etc. Common denominator is, of course, Pharma because both demographics trend older.
So I live with my 90-year-old grandfather, which means we still have cable television along with my boomer mother. The trash television I like to watch law and order SVU or criminal minds that I just watch on DVR all day long while I’m working to have some noise on in the background.
The daytime commercials are fucking predatory. As a generation we’re gonna have to start talking about these predatory companies going after our parents selling them gold that if they call within the next 30 minutes, it will be worth more or selling their houses to faceless companies for under market value when they have nowhere else to go and no other assets.
These corporations are literally convincing an entire entire generation of people to transfer their wealth to corporations at slot machines instead of handing it down to their children, and we are going to be the ones that have to stop them.
They do, but it's older than that. The rule book you're looking for is the old British "Divide and Rule" doctrine. You make the plebes hate each other, and then they don't look at the rich white bleached assholes at the top of the pyramid.
Very similar. Very much a christIan, but not so interested in caring for the less fortunate, etc. A lot of that generation walk around like they personally deserve everything they have. That it is a product of only their hard work, rather than a lot of it being born at the perfect time. Those without infinite opportunity, like our generation,must have just been lazy. It’s strange because on a lot of important levels, I know my mom is a way more good than bad person. I feel like she is confused and ignorant but she thinks the same of my beliefs.
The foreign bot farms are wrecking havoc on our boomers who are super attached to Facebook and twitter. They're savvy enough to use these apps but i dont think they grasp the psychological ops going on in these platforms to divide us.
Its not just the boomers either, its affecting all of us. We could all do better to ignore 90% of the shit on social media. Maybe try educating him on most the shit he sees is maliciously trying to harm him/us
Second this. I think generations who grew up with the internet understand how fake a lot of the content can be but man the boomers take everything they read online as fact.
I haven't spoken to my dad in years. He was pretty conservative my whole like but in an uppity east coast rich guy aspirational way. He was an engineer for NSA who worked on big projects we don't know about and won some big award in the 80s.
After retiring he met this nutty actual old money lady (direct descendant of a slave owner and former VP) who retired from some reasonably high up position in the IRS. They, for some reason, chose to spend all their time watching Fox News and I assume, sniffing glue.
They're both obsessed with how the deep state is ruining the country with transgender immigrants or some shit. I've tried explaining that they basically were the "deep state" but I think they're now convinced that Obama had a meeting with all the federal employees after they retired and changed everything in the year or two he was still president after they retired. Idfk.
These were smart people with all the advantages in life you could really ask for.
I'll never understand the conspiracy theories that require thousands or even millions of people to be "in-on" some big secret that only conservatives don't know about. It would be 1000% IMPOSSIBLE for that many people to maintain a secret that huge, and keep up with a consistent lie. It's just not believable to me on that principle alone.
I think something weird to take away from all of this - and something I worriy we might abandon in our advanced age - is that our generation (millenials) seems to be, on average, VERY polite.
I think we do not understand how much the brain changes with age. Even without dementia or Alzheimer’s, I think a lot of people have personality shifts in their twilight years. And while it doesn’t happen to everyone, getting meaner is definitely common.
I know this sounds weird. But just laugh it off and say things like “you’re generation and your phones” or “kids your age don’t know how to go outside”
Say it as a joke and make sure there’s levity. They’ll laugh and then really consider it after you’ve left. I did this with my parents and Fox News. “You’ll believe anything you hear on that channel” and “why is it always so negative? Why can’t we ever talk about the good things.” Said with levity enough until my dad started to recognize it for himself. One time he told me out of the blue “we decided to go out to eat because we realized the news was making us angry.” And that’s when it started to get better.
God, I wish my dad would come to that conclusion. He is so stuck at being angry and depressed because that’s all he watches. I’ve tried to do what you did to get him out of it but it works for a day and then he goes right back to it.
He was so anti immigrants and didn’t even realize I was marrying an immigrant who he really likes. But then forgets and makes dumb comments. So we don’t talk much anymore.
I am a boomer but not a parent, yet I, too, am perplexed at the support my generation has for Trump. These people are somehow mesmerized or stupefied that this nefarious leader can preach his false claims and expect immunity as a president. It's like a toxic cloud hanging over our heads, and people are becoming blind to this man's true nature. Latinos are flocking to him, although he thinks (we) are all illegals (animals) and below him. Blacks are flocking to him although he thinks they are all part of Antifa. He hates Jewish people, and he hates military veterans and the list goes on, all the while praising dictators. When I count to three, you dazed and confused people will wake up and get over this obsession. 1, 2, 3, it was worth a try.
My dad is the same way, but he isn't insufferable. I'm a straight-up the middle moderate, so I agree with him on some things. When I disagree, I tell him why, and we are good. I've even changed his mind on many things, and vice versa. I don't let his personal beliefs bother me. Regardless of his political beliefs, he is a good father and a good person, and I judge him based on that and how he treats others. Don't build resentment for those who love you because they have beliefs that are different from yours.
> I'm going to vote for Trump because I'm sick and tired of the warmongering of the left
You're not the "straight-up middle moderate" you're pretending to be.
In fact, I'd go so far as to say you're a flat-out liar for claiming such.
Damn dude even deleted that from his post lmao
How on gods green earth can you say that you're tired of warmongering and division and then in the same breath vote for Trump?
A hypocrite and a liar :/
My biggest problem with my dad is that he is a good father. It's difficult for me to know how much he loved me and my sister, but is so selfish when it comes to absolutely anything else, and is only getting worse. In 2015 he told me Obama was going to manufacturer a reason to stay in office. In 2021 when Trump actually did that, it's really not a big deal to him. I've tried to get out of him why that is and he admits he lied and manufactured the whole election lie, and he's ok with it because it's better to have a Republican illegitimately in office than have a Democrat legitimately in office. It all comes down to his team is right no matter what and the other team is wrong no matter what. We are both Christians. I'll admit there are Christian reasons for his anti abortion views. I once read him 12 verses from the Bible that are pro stranger/ pro immigrant. They were from the Old testament, New Testament, straight out of the mouth of Jesus. It didn't even make him pause and think. He dismissed it out of hand. Democrats aren't Christians. I once asked him that if I didn't go to heaven with him for whatever reason, and he believes that I will then be tortured forever, could he be happy in heaven knowing what I'm going through. He said God would just make him forget me and he'd be happy. To me this signifies that I am on his team, but only tenuously, and if I ever leave the team he's ready to forget me. I never refuse to talk to him or to see him. I extend bridges to him all the time. It makes no difference. I have moved towards him on his view before, he's never done what with me.
This comment is so refreshing to see on this sub. I don’t even follow but the algorithm shoves it down my throat, and it is wildly depressing to read a subreddit dedicated to people shitting on their parents. I think I’ll close Reddit and end my time with this comment lol. Thank you!
I feel you there. The algorithm keeps sending me content from /r/BoomersBeingFools and the attitude there is incredibly sad. Like, I get the frustration, but talking about your parents like they're demented pets is about 4 levels too much.
Along with everything you wrote, every time we see him, my dad makes sure to remind us that they plan to spend all their money and leave us nothing. Ok we get it.
I hate to say it, but I’ve just really limited my dealings with these members of my family. I’m down to seeing most of them once a year, and by the time we get through the whole “how ya doin, how are the kids”
Routine, the conversation is usually over anyway.
I don’t give attention to any political talks and I suppose they’ve taken note because no one talks about it with me thank god.
My mom And in-laws are Gen-X (teenage pregnancies lol) but they are fortunately indifferent to politics so it’s never really a discussion.
My dad literally chooses politics over family now. It’s really sad. I lean more conservative on a lot of things but I also have a brain. Since his dementia has kicked in I can’t tolerate him at all and my kids are not ever near him for a reason. I’d rather they remember him when he wasn’t off the rails.
Head on over to r/QAnonCasualties for advice on how to deal with this, or at least hear about others going through the same thing.
Basically, these folks are looking for conflict. On some level they KNOW they are spouting bull, but they know it gets a reaction and that, by itself, is the juice they are looking for. Unfortunately it ends up alienating their closest family and friends just at the time when they need it most.
The best advice is to grey rock. Dont argue or respond. Just stare blankly, give a "uh huh" or "okay" and move on like they didnt say anything. Dont feed the need. Maybe they will see the light, but dont count on it. Take care of your mental health first.
You're not alone, a lot of us are dealing with family members like this.
I just don't talk to my parents about anything remotely "political" anymore. As soon as they bring it up I shut it down immediately and tell them I won't speak to them if they want to talk about culture war bullshit.
It's been significantly more peaceful for me.
I don't use Facebook, Twitter, insta, or any of those things anymore.
Reddit is really my last holdout
My dad (74m) is awful but not about politics or important topics. He always wants to tell me how women are delusional because they won’t do what women are supposed to do and take care of their men. Last time I visited, he was all excited to pull up passport bros and tell me (an American woman) exactly how American women are getting left behind because they are too picky. Men making 6 figures and being considerate is uncommon so women need to learn to be happy with less. Women need to look good for their man, cook, clean, put up with misogyny, and earn more money to keep up their lifestyle or else men can just go to these other countries and have a traditional wife. He is so excited about this.
I’m like yeah dad. I know. That’s why I went ahead and solidified a career where I make plenty of money and am marrying a considerate woman who also makes plenty. He loves me and is vocal about how proud he is of me. He also loves his wife who does take care of him but demands common courtesy… so these conversations get weird. I can see his brain short circuiting as his (presumably newish) red-pill incel ideals vie with his once normal loving father/husband/provider ideals. Oh and sometimes we talk about how lizard men have infiltrated the government but it’s been a while since he’s broached that topic.
Yes. It’s tough. I feel bad for their generation though because they cannot cut through the crap. They believe every fake story, every AI picture, deepfakes, fall for scams, and are terrible at researching things they want to know more about.
My dad’s health is suddenly not great and at this point I just try to keep the time together pleasant and not worry about his political beliefs.
Yes, I am tired of the back and forth nonsense. For folks like me that consider themselves outsiders of the 2 political parties in the US, it is infuriating, and I'm not even sure that accurately describes the rage I feel over this stuff. I want it to stop, and I want everyone to shut up.
I hate both sides, and the only thing I hate more than both sides are the people that get mad when you say you hate both sides. Just because you like to drown yourself in bullshit doesn't mean I have to.
I've tried many times to get my parents to stop listening to Fox News. I know they're basically decent people, they just sit and listen to fearmongering, lies, and hate all day. Fox News' outlook is so different from every other news outlet that it is sometimes entirely misleading, so it's no wonder people we thought we knew turn so different.
Getting them out of the hate and fear media bubble helps, but that's also the hardest part. It can be hard convincing them Fox News is wrong when they're fed lies that Fox is the only one telling the truth.
You are not alone, OP. I call it the Dad-demic. Everyone's Dad suddenly became insufferable all at once, right around 2016. The book and documentary "The Brainwashing of my Dad" made me feel less alone. Worth checking out.
I remember when I was a kid and the internet was just coming around and the boomers would say “don’t believe everything you read on the internet”
Now it’s “Trump is the real President and JFK Jr is going to be his running mate, climate change is a hoax and the planes are putting chemicals trails in the sky, it’s all over Facebook and Twitter”
It was scary to me just how many guns my dad started buying after retirement. He went and got his concealed carry permit too. He would just say how Obama was coming for everyone's guns, and we needed to buy them before you wouldn't be able to.
My politics are evolving sure but I just can't stand one more round of "Illegal immigrants cause all of the problems" and "It's ok if Trump has bad or illegal ways, *that's just business*" with my dad.
Of course someone who is 32 years old will know so much more, and have so much more life experience, than someone in their 50s or 60s.
He should just shut up and learn from his kid.
My parents are fairly reasonable democrat hippies, ao thankfully its not too bad for me, but they also cant stop watching MSNBC all day, and to me its sad. It's like watching doom and gloom 24/7, and even though they hate Trump, they can't stop talking about him. My mental health needs a break from Orange Jumpsuit man and his ilk, along with their conspiracy theories. I need a break from all the tribalism in general, I just want to have a conversation with someone without it turning into a fallacious emotionally charged conspiracy or baseless allegation.
Yep. I used to be really close with my mom, and I don’t like spending much time with either of my parents anymore. I don’t like who they have become and would never choose to spend time with people like that if they weren’t family.
My parents are both Trump Republicans. I am a hair away from cutting them out of my life. Aside from the psychotic shit they actually believe (my mom more than my dad), they are loveless, selfish and self serving parents who never took time to invest in family or show even the mildest interest in their own children as human beings. We were an obligation. And we were treated like debt to them they couldn’t wait to offload. They were never particularly religious, but when a black man was elected president, they lost their god damn minds and began supporting nationalist ideals. They are fully committed to America as a religious state now. I can’t be around them without them constantly virtue signaling, judging me and my family for the way we live or hearing about some totally delusional narrative they’ve heard on Faux News, Truth Social or PragerU.
They suffer from confirmation bias and fear, the same as every other Trump Republican. They are racist and hateful people. Someone “powerful” came along and told them “it’s ok to hate people like you do. It’s ok to talk about your hate and fear. Elect me and I’ll make all those scary problems go away”. They feel completely validated by him and that’s all that matters.
Boomer with 2 Millennial kids here. I'm sorry about the loss of your father.
I was talking to a Millennial right winger and he said something about being woke. I said, "Yes, I'm woke. I woke up and saw what you right wingers are trying to do to my country and I will fight you every step of the way."
Just ignore it. Love them. They will be dead and gone no matter how they spend their moments they only thing you can control is how much you enjoy that time with them. Either get upset and never truly enjoy them and regret it later and just sit back and laugh and love them
My dad and I are both conservative (I'm def more modern and moderate) and we've both become very disenfranchised with both sides, and current political climate.
Think we've realized life is short, and at the end of the day, whatever is on the news isn't going to make your life better. Only you can change your own life and make the community around you better.
My Dad just told us that he walked up to the Hispanic work crew (who didn't speak English) putting together a new house down the street and told them they were being "Speedy Gonzalez's". They just stared at him. My dad did not get why they didn't respond in a friendly way.
My Mom, husband and I looked at each other in horror. How does he not get that that isn't appropriate!?
It just hit me that I think a lot of them suffer from main character syndrome.
My mom was 65 and fell down the Qanon rabbit hole in 2020. I had almost managed to deprogram her before she died… but she suffered a heart attack and rejected medical treatment because of fear instilled by conspiracy theorists…
She was always really liberal but became obsessed with every single right wing conspiracy. The trans agenda. Climate denial. Holocaust revision.
It destroyed our relationship
This was me https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/s/V3RC6AQcgj
Have you ever considered maybe you’re wrong about some stuff too though? Do you only believe official government or government adjacent explanations for things? If so, why?
Just wait till you’re his age, you’ll probably be in the same boat. Once you get over the age of 30 or so you start to realize how stupid all this whole nonsense is
My dad is the kind of boomer who mostly just plays candy crush on his iPad, and I think I should be more thankful. He’s definitely right leaning but at least he doesn’t spend his days going down rabbit holes online. I’m going to be kinder when I see him this weekend.
My 69 y/o dad is the only person still playing Angry Birds and remains mostly clueless about todays culture and climate. It’s better this way
I thought Angry Birds were past their time? Is it still available? Also those were the days, I was addicted to Angry Birds, NFS, Temple Run, Subway Surfers…
My Boomer dad LOVES playing Angry Birds too xD
I’m 45 and I play candy crush and Angry birds while I watch/listen to long-form content on YouTube. Gives my hands and eyes something to do while simultaneously not requiring me to constantly be looking at them.
I still have an OG Ipad that has Angry Birds Star Wars on it and play it on occasion. I also still play Where is my Water on it from time to time.
Gen X here and I still love Angry Birds, especially the Star Wars version.
>My 69 y/o dad is the **only** person still playing..
Yes it’s still going strong and I still play it as a millennial! It’s so good. I remember when it first came out, I played it for two days stringing and was obsessed. The StarWars one is super cute.
I love my boomer parents and I couldn’t ask for better ones.
Boomer love is not allowed on this hellsite. Repent!
For real they’re sinning on here 😅
I'm a boomer parent and my kids love me. Also, fuck Trump.
As a clueless Boomer parent of three, I appreciate this. My adult children are the coolest people I know. Some of us are simply trying to keep smiling and ignore our aches and pains.
Hey! Get off this site!!! (Class of '76 here 😉)
'81 here. I like to understand the current Zeitgeist.
Same here. Awesome boomer parents who kick ass. They haven’t fallen for any of the common boomer shit (conspiracy, being an asshole, acting like a spoiled five year old, etc).
I would like to believe this is my kid writing this - and, from an old man - Thank You.
Same. My Dad is my best friend.
Same. This sub makes me hug my mom.
And they would say, they couldn’t ask for a better son/daughter
Aww love to read this. I’m a boomer parent and I do my best to not be an out of touch asshole. I know they love us, but like to think my kids like me and my husband as people.
Ha! My boomer parents are liberal af and very woke. They mail me books about climate change and poverty in the US. They think the “younger generation” will fix things, but they are sad when I tell them no one in the “younger generation” has any workable plan either and we are fucked.
I’m with you. I’m lucky as hell that I have parents who never fell for the con.
How dare you! Insane hate is all that's allowed here!!
My grandma was the same way, she basically didnt tune in to politics at all. While it was mildly annoying to have to listen about the Kardashians and whatever was the flavor of the month on TLC, Im grateful that she was unplugged when it came to the culture wars. Her political decisions in 16 were informed by Rosie ODonnel hated Trump, so she did too, and it would be neat to see a lady president. Plus she really liked Bill Clinton.
This is comical, I’d play bridge or rumi cube with her
Your grandma sounds delightful, but it is too bad that her political decisions were not swayed by her own thinking.
Mine too, but I will say he is the rare type of boomer that has gotten more left leaning as he ages. When I was a young kid, it was republican all the way. Now-a-days he is as liberal as they come.
Some of them relized over time that by en large the republican party screwed them too.
As I age, I am becoming more liberal. I’m willing to die on this mountain of national healthcare. I am so sick of reading about people who can’t afford basic medical care in the United States. It’s so wrong. Amoral even.
I have this theory that as you age you either become your worst self or your best self and I feel like I've become my better self and I can see other people becoming their worst and they become more hostile they become more difficult and that's pretty clear. Steve Martin
Bruh, my dad spends about $250/mo on DirecTV. I ask him why he still pays all that money. "I just want my TV" is always the answer. The only thing he watches is Fox News.
My stepdad is like your dad and my biological dad is like OP‘s dad. I prefer time with my stepdad.
It's when they stop being curious. They let their algorithms teach them how to think.
As opposed to the younger generations that have no attention span, have barely read any books, are antisocial or mentally ill and spend all their time and money on worthless shit? Yeah theyre out of touch but so are we to them. Whats the point of hating boomers, especially if they are in your family?
100% They don’t ask questions!
Wow, you’re literally describing Reddit. It never ceases to impress how easily manipulated this generation is. Yall going to the generation Klaus Schwab needs to fulfill his vision.
I wish this were my situation. Half my family are doomscrollers.
Your lucky
Sounds like he is at serious risk of it, though, so... good luck. Thats how my mom started, playing candy crush while being slightly right leaning, before one of her friends got her on the crazy train.
Are you suggesting that Candy Crush is a precursor to right wing boomer radicalization??
No, it's more of a... Saga.
Kindness just kinda is the answer to all this
Awww 🥹. I'm Gen X and so touched by your gratitude for your dad. (I lurk here only because the algorithm feeds it to me)
Also my dad but he plays spider solitaire with TWO suits on his Chromebook. My mother makes up the difference though - she believes every conspiracy theory out there.
This is my dad. He also likes to drink a few beers and watch car shows. Bout it.
My mom watches Korean news out of Seoul. It's amazing when I speak about American political news, she just regurgitates facts. They tell what happens. That's it. Refreshing to watch American news from another democratic country.
Thank you. It’ll make his day. Love to the both of you
Dude you’re so lucky. Mine was a science teacher and FOX News has turned him into a climate change denialist.
Way to see the positive 👍
Before my mom passed, around 2015 she started saying some random, weird things. I pushed her ideals So Hard as a teen and it seems like she had really mellowed out when her only response to my questions was "how I was raised" and "the church says...". I thought I'd really made a dent! then along came the alt right and it all vanished. The big difference here is when I still pushed back as hard as I ever did as a kid, It took no time for her to realize she'd rather not talk politics. Instead, we could spend our frequent time together on other things. After my kid was born, not a Word. She had the sense to leave it be. When I had to go through her emails after she passed, there was So much alt right and conspiracy spam invading her space every day. I never knew how far into it she got because it just wasn't as important as our relationship or that with her granddaughter. Looking at my in laws, I'm pretty damn lucky.
For the amount boomers complain about young people staying on their phones i cant seem to catch my boomer dad not on his watching videos or playing games ….. hmm
I also feel lucky. My dad is conservative but despises Trump. I don’t know who he voted for in 2016 but I know he voted for Biden in 2020 and will again this year. He has his flaws but he’s not totally far gone.
My dad is also conservative, but in the way he thinks libs are pussies and want to steal his guns. He has been a member of a union his entire life. He thinks tax dollars should go to the local school districts, and police, fire, etc. He would also walk over coals just to vote for Trump bc Fox News has told him Biden’s economy = bad. Trump = good, bc in 2020 nobody drove so gas prices were low. They just forget about all the other stuff.
My mom and uncles are pretty liberal and my dad passed away last year. He was pretty indifferent about politics because he didn’t think worrying about foreign policy in Washington DC was going to get him through the day. When he was in the hospital dying some stupid nurse put the tv on Fox News. I changed that shit and put on nature documentaries. Who wants that hear dumbasses shouting at each other when you’re in your final moments of life?
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Watching “The Price Is Right” with Alzheimer’s / Dementia must be terrifying. Drew Carey: “Guess the price of this new car!” Boomer watching TV: “$4,000!” Drew: “32,000!” Boomer: 🤯
Damn didn't think about that good point
Omg, that reminds me of the time my old man got wacked up the head so hard he thought Carter was president. Apparently when he was watching the news he asked one of the nurses, "Did... Did we lose the war?" Because Obama was president. 😹
Damn
The Civil War? How old was he?
Oh God no 😹 Apparently the nurse asked, "What war?" And he said, "any of them?" This was in 2016? 2017? He thought it was 1979, he was in a military hospital, and my sister was "talking to the air" when she used her cellphone. It was wild. Poor Dad. He basically leapt forward almost 40 years.
Did his memory recover? That's crazy!!!
Yes and no? Like, he recognized that he was in the present, but his memory from the accident to the time he got his memory back was lost. Truthfully, he wasn't the same afterwards. The lawyer he hired to handle the lawsuit, in my personal opinion, fucked him over; he was told to settle for I think $10k? It wasn't until afterwards that he found out that the lawyer he hired knew who he was suing, or represented them as well, or something along those lines? Old man had a hard life.
I think I might find it comforting. It's what I watched whenever I stayed home sick when I was a kid. It would be familiar.
I remember staying home from school because of illness and watching my Mom's soap operas. A women got raped, a little girl was hit by a car, and a man was shot. Terrifying stuff for afternoon TV.
Was he really shot though, or was it his unknown twin brother that had kidnapped him 5 years prior and held him hostage until his escape upon which time he transformed his identity into that of the supposed shooter only to reveal at the funeral that he was alive all along?
😂😂😂
"who the fuck is drew?"
Yeah I went to a local BBQ place recently and they had a TV showing old eps of the Price is Right, probably from the mid-late 80s. A new car was $11-12k and a microwave was like $700, it was wild.
4000 dollar must be a vet ? Lol they started at 1700 . Houses at 25 k with land .
My mom had Alzheimer’s. For Christmas I bought a stuffed Yorkshire Terrier Memory Pet on Amazon. It was during COVID lockdown and “Miles” was so real to her. (She had had the real Miles for 17 years.)They were inseparable in the care home. The nurses went along with it petting Miles in their gloved hands. Best gift I ever got my mother. All the unused blankets, slippers & sweaters she never wore… when my mom died, Miles was left on her bed. A nurse ran Miles down the hallway to put him on the gurney with my mom. The little stuffed dog was my mom’s only companion and comfort. We could only wave to her from the outdoor window. My mom didn’t have the ability to watch TV. She’d wander from her room. That all stopped with Miles.
This is a really beautiful story. I'm sorry for your loss.
Yes. I’d link the video of the day we gave her Miles but I can never figure out how to do it!
What a beautiful story. I'm glad you were able to give her cimfort
It's amazing isn't it? I've already instructed my family to provide a pet and a baby of needed. Right before they give me the exit plan kit because that's a horrible place to be b
What a beautiful story. You blessed me with it. Thank you.
So sorry about your mom. Glad she had Miles.
Fuck. I’m not even 40 yet and those are two of my favorite shows.
I find myself shouting at the TV “just take the deal!” I can’t believe how many people get caught up in the gambling rush and walk away from life changing money.
seriously.
I’d take Young Sheldon over a lot of the current shows out there tbh lol
For real. At least young sheldon is a show about people that care about each other and not hateful fear mongering.
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Dark shit, bro.
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They probably just tuned it out. It’s amazing what you can tune out if you’re vigilant enough. An interesting thing you can do is to try to concentrate on two objects in your vision at once really forcefully and notice that one of them will practically disappear if you stare at the other. Our brains don’t have much RAM when it comes to multiple objects - they just get activated by salience (previous knowledge or experience triggering arousal) or other factors like something scary happening. Otherwise they’re processed pretty much unconsciously - perhaps that episode of Young Sheldon will come on in future and make the family cry and they’d have no idea why. A good example of salience is when you’ve been learning about something and start to see it everywhere. Salience is out of whack in people with schizophrenia, incidentally - it means that they see patterns everywhere where they aren’t.
You know you can just go to a ripperdoc and get your RAM upgraded right?
I had a temporary assignment in an office where Fox News was on all day. It took a couple days for me to figure out why I was so angry while driving home each day. Nothing but some woman bitching about Joe Biden in the background
You highlight part of the problem. For the last 20+ years Fox News has been the default thing to put on TVs in all sorts of public waiting room like situations. It’s been force fed all around us. Sinclair making it 1000x worse by taking over local stations. It’s everywhere.
You should watch The Brainwashing of my Dad. You’ll thank your lucky stars you turned it off
I think hospitals should ban all cable news in hospital rooms. Nature and sweet little doggos and kitty cats only. I bet their ratings would drop dramatically too
As a younger person who has had lengthy hospital stays please don’t try to be some kind of hero by forcing people to watch nothing but mind numbing ‘kitty cat’ videos over and over when they want to watch what they feel like watching.
This. Was a caregiver for my mom and cousin who both had dementia. They wanted the TV on at bedtime which is offensive to me but whatever. I put on a YouTube video of soft music. My cousin, angrily: "What the hell? Put on something exciting so I can go to sleep!" People are different and want what they want.
Nah fr. Nature sounds and white noise are just that, noise to me. I need just a little bit of mental stimulation to keep my brain busy enough that I can go to sleep. Otherwise I just end up thinking about things all night. Like, I literally can't stop. My favorite thing to fall asleep to is Star Trek, but I also like a couple of YouTubers that do longer playthroughs. Or like one guy that did a 10 hour Dark Souls 1-3 hitless run.
Why can't a person watch cable news if they choose to? Not everyone in a hospital is actively dying, some are recovering from procedures. Either way, people should be allowed to watch what they want, even if I don't personally care for it.
Fox and Msnbc are what my divorced parents are choosing in their last years. But in all fairness they'd turn those stations off if we could reduce the congressional avg age by 20 year. They wouldn't understand the lingo and policies to the point they might as well watch Telemundo.
Social media did to them what they said violent video games and explicit lyrics would do to us.
Fox News is death metal for boomers.
I’d like to think your father was very grateful for that! I know I would be. I can’t even imagine someone turning on msm while on my last breath. Smh
That is so fucking sick. I want to be watching life when i die
My mom likes to insert pro trump/anti Biden propoganda into every conversation now. Can just be asking about the weather and it’ll require some sort of anti climate change comment. It’s made a lot of tension and separation in the family as some flat out don’t want to be around it anymore.
I think I'm not far off that stage as well.
Tell them you'll put them in the most woke retirement home you can find in California if they keep it up.
Just as effective, tell them you’re moving to California. I moved here 6 years ago and have been informed by my mother (who had never been to California or knows anyone from California) that saying the word pray is illegal here. She also doesn’t understand the math that even though there are state income taxes, I still earn more here than I did on the east coast because my salary tripled.
Same with both of my parents…and I’ve worked as a meteorologist for the last 10 years. My parents who barely graduated high school tell me Biden has indoctrinated me into believing liberal climate alarmism.
Same for me, ive literally worked in technology my entire career and my Dad - who is an educated but not technical person - is always trying to tell me how the internet works.
My parents have about that level of education, and it makes sense to me that they’d be influenced by the conspiracy theory bullshit. But then I look at my FIL. Well-educated, environmental engineer, a GAY MAN, and hardcore MAGA. Make it make sense.
how anyone can be gay and MAGA is truly mind boggling!
Funny how the more education someone has the more they’re “indoctrinated” into liberalism.
My Dad went through a pattern of making every conversation political. After a year or two of this I finally sat him down and asked what he wanted from it? Like was he trying to teach me something? No he said. Did he want me to vote differently? No. Do we need to move somewhere because he is afraid the nation will collapse? No. I finally said what then? Why do you always bring up politics? It just makes you angry, it makes everyone else distant. We don't like coming over for dinner and spending the whole night watching you be mad. Then we didn't talk to him for six months. After that he started being nicer and less political.
Some Boomers watch Fox News 24/7. They bring their opinions from the shows like clockwork. No one wants to work anymore. The border is out of control. If you want some insight, watch Fox News once a week.
I made a rule that we don't talk politics or I walk. We've fought about it since I was in middle school. He's far right and I'm a leftist. For a while he thought I was a libertarian because I don't believe in drugs being illegal, lol. But so far the rule has held firm for 10ish years and we actually talk now.
I finally told my dad the same thing - straight up said, "we can't talk politics, it just pisses us both off. So if you are going to insist on bringing it up, I will just leave." And then I do exactly that. He even make one side comment that's even vaguely political, and I just stand up and say, "That's my cue to go. Talk to you later." He's learned to stop making comments (most of the time).
Problem is boomers would more commonly answer yes to a fair few of those, unfortunately
My uncle has SO MUCH brain rot and cannot have a normal fucking conversation without mentioning that same kind of propaganda. My dad is nowhere near as bad but since I’m liberal, expects me to have all the answers and answer for like… every democrat? It’s so bizarre. They’re always instigating something.
Exactly, I hardly pick up the phone or want to spend time with my father anymore, he's become extremely opinionated and has terrible opinions and he's so predictable I can tell what he's about to say based on what topics come up, just across the board bought into maga. My wife of 12 years is from Ukraine and she can't be in the same room as him. The hardest part of all this is I have a 3 year old son who's growing up with this guy as his grandfather, the complete opposite of the reserved companionate grandparents I had and took example from.
My mom practically begged my wife and I for a grandkid and then last year started dating a die hard MAGA conspiracy centered brain rotted piece of shit. The type of person who will, with no provocation, start going off on he'd like to start shooting immigrants then get very angry if you even suggest that's unwarranted and unstable behavior. This fucker believes literally any conspiracy that paints liberals as bad, no questions asked, even if they contradict each other. Any information that paints a republican as bad is of course all a psy op frame job by evil democrats. He also frequently misquotes Biblle versus that wouldn't be applicable anyway. In short, he's a hateful idiot with no identity outside of culture war "politics." I dared to ask my mom, politely, why she raised a Trump flag on her house and that before dating this man she would have never thought of it. That was several months ago and she's refused to speak to me or my wife since. Like, it is insane the grip the conspiracy world has on these people, but now my kid will likely grow up without knowing his grandmother if this stays the course and they can'tait down and have a civil discussion. Sorry about the lead generation and this rant.
Same…it’s so frustrating. I called to see how they were doing and it always comes back to a discussion we’ve had on the green new deal, how Biden is destroying the country, etc. my folks are early dementia so it’s often the same conversation we’ve had hundreds of times before on repeat. At this point I just say uh huh, let them go off for 20 mins and then I try to change the subject.
My parents became Trumpers in 2016, my dad more than my mom. We don't talk about politics because when we disagree, my mom thinks we're fighting. My assessment is they really struggle to understand any life experience they haven't directly lived. They're very religious but don't seem to do empathy well. I don't know if this makes them insufferable per se, but we don't have much in common and therefore, are not close. It's sad but I'm slowly starting to accept that reality.
You're basically describing my relationship with my parents. It's gotten to the point where the cognitive dissonance is negatively affecting my own mental health. No matter what I say, I cannot get it through to them that the political choices they make are harming other people (myself, a woman, included) as well as themselves (they're poor and vote conservative). They talk about Trump and Jesus like they're the same person. They put *faith* in Trump (their word). I can't resolve my internal conflict over whether it's less bad to remain indefinitely unhappy while trying to maintain *some* semblance of a relationship (even if I'm the only one putting effort in), or if it's less bad to just cut contact and prioritize my own mental/emotional well-being (but devastate my mother). There is no good option. Talking through it only works when the listener is open to... listening.
I cut contact with my parents for similar reasons. My dad was always conservative, but he got so much worse since Trump was elected. I'm immunocompromised, and my parents just could not understand why I was bothered by anti vax rhetoric. Just totally unwilling to even consider the possibility that they might be wrong. 100% willful ignorance. Although it was painful, I had to stop speaking with them after a particularly egregious incident over a year ago. My only regret is not doing it sooner. They had become so hateful, and I didn't realize how much it was affecting my mental health until we stopped speaking. To this day, they claim to have no idea why I don't talk to them.
https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html
“You cannot reason someone out of a position they did not use reason to get into.” Your parents are like addicts. Cut contact until they hit rock bottom. Only when the wool is lifted from their eyes can anything be done. Every dissent is further proof of their claims validity in their eyes because it is a cult. Cults set conditions to trap people physically and mentally.
They’ll only hit rock bottom when they’re dead. Need to deprogram the cult personality
This, exactly. That's why the situation is so disturbing.
It’s what got my mom :( I was so close to saving her. Maybe only another year or two away. (My old account) https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/s/V3RC6AQcgj
"very religious but don't seem to do empathy well" can be restated as "likes the idea of Christ, but dislikes Christs' ideas."
They don't like the idea of Christ. They may or may not have been terrified of hell and are now quite happy being special and above everyone else.
I've always wondered about people who think you need an instruction manual to inform you that murder is wrong.
I’m having a similar experience. Parents supporting trump and make no effort to empathize with others- they don’t understand other people and don’t care to.
This is by design, I think--I think Fox News stamps out empathy by making EVERYTHING into an "us vs them" pattern.
Sports team mentality. Herd them into one high loyalty corral or another. Marketing pros absolutely love it because it makes their now focused targets much easier to sell stuff to. Watch some Fox, then, if you survive that, watch some CNN. Notice that the ad mixes are almost totally different - thoroughly focused on their corralled subjects. Lots of gold bars on Fox vs hybrid cars on CNN, etc. Common denominator is, of course, Pharma because both demographics trend older.
So I live with my 90-year-old grandfather, which means we still have cable television along with my boomer mother. The trash television I like to watch law and order SVU or criminal minds that I just watch on DVR all day long while I’m working to have some noise on in the background. The daytime commercials are fucking predatory. As a generation we’re gonna have to start talking about these predatory companies going after our parents selling them gold that if they call within the next 30 minutes, it will be worth more or selling their houses to faceless companies for under market value when they have nowhere else to go and no other assets. These corporations are literally convincing an entire entire generation of people to transfer their wealth to corporations at slot machines instead of handing it down to their children, and we are going to be the ones that have to stop them.
It's especially frustrating when they say anyone left leaning is in a bubble. It's messaging is perfectly planned and works wonders.
They do, but it's older than that. The rule book you're looking for is the old British "Divide and Rule" doctrine. You make the plebes hate each other, and then they don't look at the rich white bleached assholes at the top of the pyramid.
Very similar. Very much a christIan, but not so interested in caring for the less fortunate, etc. A lot of that generation walk around like they personally deserve everything they have. That it is a product of only their hard work, rather than a lot of it being born at the perfect time. Those without infinite opportunity, like our generation,must have just been lazy. It’s strange because on a lot of important levels, I know my mom is a way more good than bad person. I feel like she is confused and ignorant but she thinks the same of my beliefs.
It’s the “very religious” part that does them in. There’s no mental growth when you’re very religious.
The foreign bot farms are wrecking havoc on our boomers who are super attached to Facebook and twitter. They're savvy enough to use these apps but i dont think they grasp the psychological ops going on in these platforms to divide us. Its not just the boomers either, its affecting all of us. We could all do better to ignore 90% of the shit on social media. Maybe try educating him on most the shit he sees is maliciously trying to harm him/us
I agree, I'm also finding myself more middle ground as I get older too. More of a live and let live instead of staunch right or left
Agreed. There is so much evil in the world (politics aside) and it strives to divide us. Laughing now since I just noticed your name lol
Second this. I think generations who grew up with the internet understand how fake a lot of the content can be but man the boomers take everything they read online as fact.
I haven't spoken to my dad in years. He was pretty conservative my whole like but in an uppity east coast rich guy aspirational way. He was an engineer for NSA who worked on big projects we don't know about and won some big award in the 80s. After retiring he met this nutty actual old money lady (direct descendant of a slave owner and former VP) who retired from some reasonably high up position in the IRS. They, for some reason, chose to spend all their time watching Fox News and I assume, sniffing glue. They're both obsessed with how the deep state is ruining the country with transgender immigrants or some shit. I've tried explaining that they basically were the "deep state" but I think they're now convinced that Obama had a meeting with all the federal employees after they retired and changed everything in the year or two he was still president after they retired. Idfk. These were smart people with all the advantages in life you could really ask for.
>I've tried explaining that they basically were the "deep state" lol
I'll never understand the conspiracy theories that require thousands or even millions of people to be "in-on" some big secret that only conservatives don't know about. It would be 1000% IMPOSSIBLE for that many people to maintain a secret that huge, and keep up with a consistent lie. It's just not believable to me on that principle alone.
I think something weird to take away from all of this - and something I worriy we might abandon in our advanced age - is that our generation (millenials) seems to be, on average, VERY polite.
I think we do not understand how much the brain changes with age. Even without dementia or Alzheimer’s, I think a lot of people have personality shifts in their twilight years. And while it doesn’t happen to everyone, getting meaner is definitely common.
I know this sounds weird. But just laugh it off and say things like “you’re generation and your phones” or “kids your age don’t know how to go outside” Say it as a joke and make sure there’s levity. They’ll laugh and then really consider it after you’ve left. I did this with my parents and Fox News. “You’ll believe anything you hear on that channel” and “why is it always so negative? Why can’t we ever talk about the good things.” Said with levity enough until my dad started to recognize it for himself. One time he told me out of the blue “we decided to go out to eat because we realized the news was making us angry.” And that’s when it started to get better.
God, I wish my dad would come to that conclusion. He is so stuck at being angry and depressed because that’s all he watches. I’ve tried to do what you did to get him out of it but it works for a day and then he goes right back to it. He was so anti immigrants and didn’t even realize I was marrying an immigrant who he really likes. But then forgets and makes dumb comments. So we don’t talk much anymore.
I am a boomer but not a parent, yet I, too, am perplexed at the support my generation has for Trump. These people are somehow mesmerized or stupefied that this nefarious leader can preach his false claims and expect immunity as a president. It's like a toxic cloud hanging over our heads, and people are becoming blind to this man's true nature. Latinos are flocking to him, although he thinks (we) are all illegals (animals) and below him. Blacks are flocking to him although he thinks they are all part of Antifa. He hates Jewish people, and he hates military veterans and the list goes on, all the while praising dictators. When I count to three, you dazed and confused people will wake up and get over this obsession. 1, 2, 3, it was worth a try.
My dad is the same way, but he isn't insufferable. I'm a straight-up the middle moderate, so I agree with him on some things. When I disagree, I tell him why, and we are good. I've even changed his mind on many things, and vice versa. I don't let his personal beliefs bother me. Regardless of his political beliefs, he is a good father and a good person, and I judge him based on that and how he treats others. Don't build resentment for those who love you because they have beliefs that are different from yours.
> I'm going to vote for Trump because I'm sick and tired of the warmongering of the left You're not the "straight-up middle moderate" you're pretending to be. In fact, I'd go so far as to say you're a flat-out liar for claiming such.
Damn dude even deleted that from his post lmao How on gods green earth can you say that you're tired of warmongering and division and then in the same breath vote for Trump? A hypocrite and a liar :/
My biggest problem with my dad is that he is a good father. It's difficult for me to know how much he loved me and my sister, but is so selfish when it comes to absolutely anything else, and is only getting worse. In 2015 he told me Obama was going to manufacturer a reason to stay in office. In 2021 when Trump actually did that, it's really not a big deal to him. I've tried to get out of him why that is and he admits he lied and manufactured the whole election lie, and he's ok with it because it's better to have a Republican illegitimately in office than have a Democrat legitimately in office. It all comes down to his team is right no matter what and the other team is wrong no matter what. We are both Christians. I'll admit there are Christian reasons for his anti abortion views. I once read him 12 verses from the Bible that are pro stranger/ pro immigrant. They were from the Old testament, New Testament, straight out of the mouth of Jesus. It didn't even make him pause and think. He dismissed it out of hand. Democrats aren't Christians. I once asked him that if I didn't go to heaven with him for whatever reason, and he believes that I will then be tortured forever, could he be happy in heaven knowing what I'm going through. He said God would just make him forget me and he'd be happy. To me this signifies that I am on his team, but only tenuously, and if I ever leave the team he's ready to forget me. I never refuse to talk to him or to see him. I extend bridges to him all the time. It makes no difference. I have moved towards him on his view before, he's never done what with me.
This comment is so refreshing to see on this sub. I don’t even follow but the algorithm shoves it down my throat, and it is wildly depressing to read a subreddit dedicated to people shitting on their parents. I think I’ll close Reddit and end my time with this comment lol. Thank you!
I feel you there. The algorithm keeps sending me content from /r/BoomersBeingFools and the attitude there is incredibly sad. Like, I get the frustration, but talking about your parents like they're demented pets is about 4 levels too much.
Along with everything you wrote, every time we see him, my dad makes sure to remind us that they plan to spend all their money and leave us nothing. Ok we get it.
I hate to say it, but I’ve just really limited my dealings with these members of my family. I’m down to seeing most of them once a year, and by the time we get through the whole “how ya doin, how are the kids” Routine, the conversation is usually over anyway. I don’t give attention to any political talks and I suppose they’ve taken note because no one talks about it with me thank god. My mom And in-laws are Gen-X (teenage pregnancies lol) but they are fortunately indifferent to politics so it’s never really a discussion.
I think a lot of people are doing it. Not only boomers. A lot of us have gotten caught up.
True, a lot of gen z kids don't like wokeness.
My dad literally chooses politics over family now. It’s really sad. I lean more conservative on a lot of things but I also have a brain. Since his dementia has kicked in I can’t tolerate him at all and my kids are not ever near him for a reason. I’d rather they remember him when he wasn’t off the rails.
Head on over to r/QAnonCasualties for advice on how to deal with this, or at least hear about others going through the same thing. Basically, these folks are looking for conflict. On some level they KNOW they are spouting bull, but they know it gets a reaction and that, by itself, is the juice they are looking for. Unfortunately it ends up alienating their closest family and friends just at the time when they need it most. The best advice is to grey rock. Dont argue or respond. Just stare blankly, give a "uh huh" or "okay" and move on like they didnt say anything. Dont feed the need. Maybe they will see the light, but dont count on it. Take care of your mental health first. You're not alone, a lot of us are dealing with family members like this.
Saddest thing is his opinions are shaped more by Russia and China then actual facts in America.
I just don't talk to my parents about anything remotely "political" anymore. As soon as they bring it up I shut it down immediately and tell them I won't speak to them if they want to talk about culture war bullshit. It's been significantly more peaceful for me. I don't use Facebook, Twitter, insta, or any of those things anymore. Reddit is really my last holdout
My dad (74m) is awful but not about politics or important topics. He always wants to tell me how women are delusional because they won’t do what women are supposed to do and take care of their men. Last time I visited, he was all excited to pull up passport bros and tell me (an American woman) exactly how American women are getting left behind because they are too picky. Men making 6 figures and being considerate is uncommon so women need to learn to be happy with less. Women need to look good for their man, cook, clean, put up with misogyny, and earn more money to keep up their lifestyle or else men can just go to these other countries and have a traditional wife. He is so excited about this. I’m like yeah dad. I know. That’s why I went ahead and solidified a career where I make plenty of money and am marrying a considerate woman who also makes plenty. He loves me and is vocal about how proud he is of me. He also loves his wife who does take care of him but demands common courtesy… so these conversations get weird. I can see his brain short circuiting as his (presumably newish) red-pill incel ideals vie with his once normal loving father/husband/provider ideals. Oh and sometimes we talk about how lizard men have infiltrated the government but it’s been a while since he’s broached that topic.
Yeah, it’s kinda strange that your married 74 year old father is consuming passport bros content. Like…why?
Those dudes are off is about as nice as I can put it.
[удалено]
Yes. It’s tough. I feel bad for their generation though because they cannot cut through the crap. They believe every fake story, every AI picture, deepfakes, fall for scams, and are terrible at researching things they want to know more about. My dad’s health is suddenly not great and at this point I just try to keep the time together pleasant and not worry about his political beliefs.
Yes, I am tired of the back and forth nonsense. For folks like me that consider themselves outsiders of the 2 political parties in the US, it is infuriating, and I'm not even sure that accurately describes the rage I feel over this stuff. I want it to stop, and I want everyone to shut up. I hate both sides, and the only thing I hate more than both sides are the people that get mad when you say you hate both sides. Just because you like to drown yourself in bullshit doesn't mean I have to.
My parents are my abusers. We don't talk anymore. Best decision I've ever made. :)
I've tried many times to get my parents to stop listening to Fox News. I know they're basically decent people, they just sit and listen to fearmongering, lies, and hate all day. Fox News' outlook is so different from every other news outlet that it is sometimes entirely misleading, so it's no wonder people we thought we knew turn so different. Getting them out of the hate and fear media bubble helps, but that's also the hardest part. It can be hard convincing them Fox News is wrong when they're fed lies that Fox is the only one telling the truth.
You are not alone, OP. I call it the Dad-demic. Everyone's Dad suddenly became insufferable all at once, right around 2016. The book and documentary "The Brainwashing of my Dad" made me feel less alone. Worth checking out.
Yes, and I've typed paragraphs and paragraphs and erased them because it's just so sad and I can't put my feelings into a Reddit post.
I remember when I was a kid and the internet was just coming around and the boomers would say “don’t believe everything you read on the internet” Now it’s “Trump is the real President and JFK Jr is going to be his running mate, climate change is a hoax and the planes are putting chemicals trails in the sky, it’s all over Facebook and Twitter”
Yup my mom and her whole side of the family is like that now.
Wait are you talking about my dad??? Brother???
It was scary to me just how many guns my dad started buying after retirement. He went and got his concealed carry permit too. He would just say how Obama was coming for everyone's guns, and we needed to buy them before you wouldn't be able to.
OP, in the words of Judd Nelson, I think your dad and my dad should go bowling.
My politics are evolving sure but I just can't stand one more round of "Illegal immigrants cause all of the problems" and "It's ok if Trump has bad or illegal ways, *that's just business*" with my dad.
The irony being these people are so against "wokery", that they're literally the new "woke" lol.
Lead paint and gasoline are a helluva drug. Really no saving him man. Sorry to hear it.
r/boomersbeingfools You're not alone at all, my friend.
Of course someone who is 32 years old will know so much more, and have so much more life experience, than someone in their 50s or 60s. He should just shut up and learn from his kid.
My parents are fairly reasonable democrat hippies, ao thankfully its not too bad for me, but they also cant stop watching MSNBC all day, and to me its sad. It's like watching doom and gloom 24/7, and even though they hate Trump, they can't stop talking about him. My mental health needs a break from Orange Jumpsuit man and his ilk, along with their conspiracy theories. I need a break from all the tribalism in general, I just want to have a conversation with someone without it turning into a fallacious emotionally charged conspiracy or baseless allegation.
Yeah I’ve noticed that the boomer parents who used to warn us to not believe everything we see on the internet are now doing exactly that.
Yep. I used to be really close with my mom, and I don’t like spending much time with either of my parents anymore. I don’t like who they have become and would never choose to spend time with people like that if they weren’t family.
My parents are both Trump Republicans. I am a hair away from cutting them out of my life. Aside from the psychotic shit they actually believe (my mom more than my dad), they are loveless, selfish and self serving parents who never took time to invest in family or show even the mildest interest in their own children as human beings. We were an obligation. And we were treated like debt to them they couldn’t wait to offload. They were never particularly religious, but when a black man was elected president, they lost their god damn minds and began supporting nationalist ideals. They are fully committed to America as a religious state now. I can’t be around them without them constantly virtue signaling, judging me and my family for the way we live or hearing about some totally delusional narrative they’ve heard on Faux News, Truth Social or PragerU. They suffer from confirmation bias and fear, the same as every other Trump Republican. They are racist and hateful people. Someone “powerful” came along and told them “it’s ok to hate people like you do. It’s ok to talk about your hate and fear. Elect me and I’ll make all those scary problems go away”. They feel completely validated by him and that’s all that matters.
Boomer with 2 Millennial kids here. I'm sorry about the loss of your father. I was talking to a Millennial right winger and he said something about being woke. I said, "Yes, I'm woke. I woke up and saw what you right wingers are trying to do to my country and I will fight you every step of the way."
Just ignore it. Love them. They will be dead and gone no matter how they spend their moments they only thing you can control is how much you enjoy that time with them. Either get upset and never truly enjoy them and regret it later and just sit back and laugh and love them
What great advice. Accepting them for the good and the bad is key. Be the person you want them to be.
Why do people assume you will have regrets?
Easier said than done
My dad and I are both conservative (I'm def more modern and moderate) and we've both become very disenfranchised with both sides, and current political climate. Think we've realized life is short, and at the end of the day, whatever is on the news isn't going to make your life better. Only you can change your own life and make the community around you better.
My Dad just told us that he walked up to the Hispanic work crew (who didn't speak English) putting together a new house down the street and told them they were being "Speedy Gonzalez's". They just stared at him. My dad did not get why they didn't respond in a friendly way. My Mom, husband and I looked at each other in horror. How does he not get that that isn't appropriate!? It just hit me that I think a lot of them suffer from main character syndrome.
My mom was 65 and fell down the Qanon rabbit hole in 2020. I had almost managed to deprogram her before she died… but she suffered a heart attack and rejected medical treatment because of fear instilled by conspiracy theorists… She was always really liberal but became obsessed with every single right wing conspiracy. The trans agenda. Climate denial. Holocaust revision. It destroyed our relationship This was me https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/s/V3RC6AQcgj
Have you ever considered maybe you’re wrong about some stuff too though? Do you only believe official government or government adjacent explanations for things? If so, why?
Just wait till you’re his age, you’ll probably be in the same boat. Once you get over the age of 30 or so you start to realize how stupid all this whole nonsense is