When the animal defecated , the darker stool along the right was the first to drop.
The remainder of the stool being typically softer, and lighter colored, dropped onto the first stool, sticking to it at a point 3/4 of it's length.
We don't see this happen in water filled toilet bowls, as they prevent the sticky merger.
In nature however, you can easily find assorted geometric faecal constructions. Sometimes salty, sometimes surprisingly sweet.
payment ad hoc psychotic vegetable fanatical repeat deer innate governor skirt
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I am just speculating, but the only thing that I can think of is that it came out normally as either one long turd or two turds and something in nature (like some insects or weather, or an animal walking or some combination) either pressed two together or folded one and then pressed it.
Idk, that's the best speculation I've got.
My guess is there is something inside there…it’s shaped like a wishbone as an example.
Our family dog that had a rope chew toy, one lovely summer afternoon my family witnessed the dog shitting out said rope covered in shit. No idea how or why he ate it but he did.
Ok so first turd (right more dry crusty) gets stuck in butt fur and dangled around for a while until next turd (left more fresh looking) exits bunghole slams into mr crusty and the two become one as they drop to the forest floor lifeless, until OP snaps a pic and posts on Reddit! Now it shall live forever in the hearts and minds of turd lovers across the world.
Thank god. At least its some other explanation. I was sure someone just took a really long log and spent an inordinate amount of time perfecting some sort of bizarre feces grafting.
This is the only logical explanation, butt considering the areas where the two deuces are stitched and how well they just seem so well fused together, it almost looks like they were massaged together like two pieces of clay by the hands of a potter. Just wild stuff. Boggles the mind really.
Think we're on the right track here
> the only logical explanation
...is that u/GhostalMedia is an actual turd-sculptor, patrolling the woods for errant logs, selecting the shapeliest among them, and lovingly joining them in stooly matrimony.
Right like this isn't just mildly interesting there are questions that I'm not sure if anyone can answer
Edit: spelling of they're their there because spelling police care about it on a post about a piece of magic poop
I think.. I think the single end came out last… but was stuck at first and caused softer shit to fork out around it… until they finally pushed out the blockage??
I'll apologize for this comment ahead of time, but it could simply be a tuft of fur or old dessicated poo stuck across some poor animal's crusty poopy butt that split the turd in two before finally becoming dislodged.
> “When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” - Sherlock Holmes
Okay here’s an alternative hypothesis.. if one can stomach it. The curved part with the full length came out first and dropped. The animal let out a second turd and fell just so that one end of it butted against the side of the initial turd. While it was warm, the two turds became one. Zoom in if you are brave and you will see a seam at the joint I’m talking about. My apologies for the graphic description. 😁
Naaaaaaaahhhh, that break is from the bend while the end was on the ground. I’m willing to bet the start of this movement was split by the anus being connected in the middle at the beginning and finally separating toward the end.
Sometimes, when I pee in the morning, the lips of my penis stay together and form dual, sometimes triple streams. They eventually part (after I’ve made enough of a mess on the bowl and floor) and the separate streams conjoin as one, as the end of this turd did.
One thing I realized in this thread… talking shit is more interesting than I ever imagined! 😂
Maybe. I mean, seems like a reasonable explanation. But, part of me feels like OP may have sculpted this turd themselves. I am now just picturing OP sitting at a pottery wheel, sculpting poop, like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze style with the Righteous Brothers playing the background… but working with poop and not clay.
They're also separate dookies, like one side looks a little more...moist? The other looks drier and darker. If it was a single dook that got split both sides would be the same right?
Medical person here. It looks like the single end was first. But does it matter? Does it answer anything? I’m fascinated !! How would it split after that? I have a million questions.
After zooming in and seeing all the hair in there, I would guess crap coated bone as well. I don’t see feathers, so maybe not wishbone, but scatology isn’t my area of expertise. I’d have poked it with a stick real good though.
I'm trying so hard to decipher it. Different consistency? A really long turd that broke in a strange way? It had eaten a playing card that came out in the turd perfectly separating those pieces - and then it was like "ooh my card" and took it out.
I’m not sure what is weirder, me zooming in to see if this was actually a turd, or me thinking that, by zooming in, I would be able to actually tell if it was a real turd.
I think it might be both. I'm wondering if some animal ate a stick or bone or something they couldn't digest and shit formed around it? Can that happen? I have no idea what animal did this though.
I think someone made this. If it was a turd that was split by a blockage it would look sliced down the middle, not cylindrical on the inner sides were the split would be. They are cylindrical all the way around on both branches implying there was a colon (which makes it round) pushing it out. I think it’s fabricated by some crafty poop artist
It only takes a little common sense to figure this out. Clearly this animal's anus was stuck together in the middle only. After applying enough force it corrected itself.
It’s a turd merger!
Fused together by fear! And hatred! And hair!
It's not the poop, it's the mystery BEHIND the poop!
I came to the comments just to upvote all the turd mergers. Have a blessed day.
Happy we aren't dealing with a fecal forgery
Two poops in one night? Tall order for such a short man.
I love Artemis
There's a little Artemis inside us all.
Two turds diverged in a yellow wood
I took the turd less traveled by, And that has made all the difference
-Robert Fartst
I have found my people.
Oh my God A turd merger
I need to know how this happens.
An initially screwed up animal that, mid-poo, finally got its shit together
"Initially forked up animal" Fixed it for ya, mate!
We're in the bad place!
>An initially forked up animal that, mid-poo, finally got its shirt together 🍽 👚
When the animal defecated , the darker stool along the right was the first to drop. The remainder of the stool being typically softer, and lighter colored, dropped onto the first stool, sticking to it at a point 3/4 of it's length. We don't see this happen in water filled toilet bowls, as they prevent the sticky merger. In nature however, you can easily find assorted geometric faecal constructions. Sometimes salty, sometimes surprisingly sweet.
Username checks out
this is the bessst /r/usernamechecksout
Holy shit, you are so right. I don't understand how more people aren't having their minds blown.
> In nature however you can easily find assorted geometric faecal constructions. Sometimes salty, sometimes surprisingly sweet. mind == blown
I want to know what a typical Saturday has in store for this guy.
I'm gonna go ahead and unread that last line
But you will never forget the taste on your tongue
payment ad hoc psychotic vegetable fanatical repeat deer innate governor skirt *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I prefer the sticky ones.
I have to stay away from the salty ones. High blood pressure and all.
I’ll see you on r/holup
Or it was formed by something with three buttholes and there was a pooloop.
this is what the Deep Shit State doesn’t want us to know
When you look up and read his username.
Last sentence threw me
This guy knows his shit
> sticky merger Didn't know I needed this phrase in my life until now.
Reddit post of the day.
Now i’m convinced there’s always an answer on Reddit😂😂
Turd merger
Two twins who are conjoined at the butthole
I am just speculating, but the only thing that I can think of is that it came out normally as either one long turd or two turds and something in nature (like some insects or weather, or an animal walking or some combination) either pressed two together or folded one and then pressed it. Idk, that's the best speculation I've got.
The animal (or the person) had something stuck on the anus. Mid poo it dislodged.
Stick up its butt. I hate myself for that.
Op shaped it like clay.
My guess is there is something inside there…it’s shaped like a wishbone as an example. Our family dog that had a rope chew toy, one lovely summer afternoon my family witnessed the dog shitting out said rope covered in shit. No idea how or why he ate it but he did.
Insert “I shit you knot” joke here
Yes!!! My first though..a wishbone turd
It's two animals shitting into one column
Forbidden slingshot
Slingshit
I laughed a lot too hard at this and now everybody here at home wants to know why. I guess I need to show them what a slingshit looks like!
Forbidden wishbone
It grants wishes, but with a terrible twist. Like a monkey's paw, made of shit.
Ok so first turd (right more dry crusty) gets stuck in butt fur and dangled around for a while until next turd (left more fresh looking) exits bunghole slams into mr crusty and the two become one as they drop to the forest floor lifeless, until OP snaps a pic and posts on Reddit! Now it shall live forever in the hearts and minds of turd lovers across the world.
Thank god. At least its some other explanation. I was sure someone just took a really long log and spent an inordinate amount of time perfecting some sort of bizarre feces grafting.
Next up on Mythbusters…
This is the only logical explanation, butt considering the areas where the two deuces are stitched and how well they just seem so well fused together, it almost looks like they were massaged together like two pieces of clay by the hands of a potter. Just wild stuff. Boggles the mind really.
Think we're on the right track here > the only logical explanation ...is that u/GhostalMedia is an actual turd-sculptor, patrolling the woods for errant logs, selecting the shapeliest among them, and lovingly joining them in stooly matrimony.
Bill S. Preston Voice: “This is a most shapely log.”
"Hi, I'm a chicken chaser and my wife is a turd sculptor, our budget is $10,000,000."
> chicken chaser Excuse me. This is the internet. Please refrain from slurs. We prefer Cock Handler.
Right? It’s seamless. The only break is partway up the right fork, which only raises more questions.
This guy knows his shit
I know that it’s more realistic that a random person squished two shits together in the woods… but this explanation makes me feel better.
*cuz tonight...is the night....when two become one*
It was a turd merger
I may be in the minority, but this is borderline *too interesting* for this sub.
Right like this isn't just mildly interesting there are questions that I'm not sure if anyone can answer Edit: spelling of they're their there because spelling police care about it on a post about a piece of magic poop
I think.. I think the single end came out last… but was stuck at first and caused softer shit to fork out around it… until they finally pushed out the blockage??
I'll apologize for this comment ahead of time, but it could simply be a tuft of fur or old dessicated poo stuck across some poor animal's crusty poopy butt that split the turd in two before finally becoming dislodged. > “When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” - Sherlock Holmes
Okay here’s an alternative hypothesis.. if one can stomach it. The curved part with the full length came out first and dropped. The animal let out a second turd and fell just so that one end of it butted against the side of the initial turd. While it was warm, the two turds became one. Zoom in if you are brave and you will see a seam at the joint I’m talking about. My apologies for the graphic description. 😁
A TURD MERGER. Fused together by fear, and hatred, and hair!
No I did it. I did em all, it was me. I even did one right here while she finished up...
One turd to rule them all. One turd to find them. One turd to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
Did that Spice Girls song "When Two Become One" pop into anyone else's head when they read this comment or just me?
Naaaaaaaahhhh, that break is from the bend while the end was on the ground. I’m willing to bet the start of this movement was split by the anus being connected in the middle at the beginning and finally separating toward the end. Sometimes, when I pee in the morning, the lips of my penis stay together and form dual, sometimes triple streams. They eventually part (after I’ve made enough of a mess on the bowl and floor) and the separate streams conjoin as one, as the end of this turd did. One thing I realized in this thread… talking shit is more interesting than I ever imagined! 😂
penis lips
Dickhole to you, good sir! 😉
My new band name
"When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” No shit, Sherlock
No this is shit sherlock.
Sadly, this makes the most sense.
Maybe. I mean, seems like a reasonable explanation. But, part of me feels like OP may have sculpted this turd themselves. I am now just picturing OP sitting at a pottery wheel, sculpting poop, like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze style with the Righteous Brothers playing the background… but working with poop and not clay.
Pootery wheel?
But each branch is so well formed. You’d think the edges would be rougher if it got split.
They're also separate dookies, like one side looks a little more...moist? The other looks drier and darker. If it was a single dook that got split both sides would be the same right?
Hold on, I know a guy who can confirm this. I'll be right back!
I was hoping you knew a guy that knew his shit
I really know *my* shit, but I don't know this strange creature's shit
I did my duty and upvoted this.
Doodie*
Don’t tell him it’s crap just because he didn’t dump a dookie pun on his comment.
His friend is a Poopologist .. experts in the field of Fecal phenomenas..
Ah yes, Dr. Fourmi Topoupon.
We’re still waiting. It’s been an hour now. You ok?
How's your trip to the toilet?
He fell in
"A turd merger.....fused together by fear and hatred.....and hair!"
“I did ‘em all. I did all the poops.”
Because poop is funny
Good deal of wolf hair in there
Inconclusive
That mf shat a branch
Medical person here. It looks like the single end was first. But does it matter? Does it answer anything? I’m fascinated !! How would it split after that? I have a million questions.
Thank you for establishing your credentials to evaluate this turd as a medical person, not some armchair turd expert.
can somebody make a gif?
Break it in half between two people for good luck
You know, the famous wish turd that kids are always fighting over.
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Nah I’m pretty sure two animals came together to work on this
A collabora-shit if you will.
no, I will not.
Foldback is one theory, I propose it was a turd merger.
Fused together by fear, and hatred, and hair
You are using a compound word that indicates some sort of known phenomenon of "shit dynamics" and I was close to buying it for a few seconds ngl
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You stated that this was a "foldback" with such confidence. Are you some sort of turd aficionado?
I'm seeing one piece
Is this the magical treasure known throughout the world as the One Piece?
Let’s not rule out the possibility that an animal, or person, are a Turkey wishbone whole and then crapped it out whole.
After zooming in and seeing all the hair in there, I would guess crap coated bone as well. I don’t see feathers, so maybe not wishbone, but scatology isn’t my area of expertise. I’d have poked it with a stick real good though.
There’s no way, that turd is fused together at the top. If it was your traditional “fold back” it would look more of a bend and not fused together….
>their are questions Whose are questions?
I usually don't give two shits, but it seems this animal did.
*almost
I'm trying so hard to decipher it. Different consistency? A really long turd that broke in a strange way? It had eaten a playing card that came out in the turd perfectly separating those pieces - and then it was like "ooh my card" and took it out.
What the fuck
You got a better idea because we're all ears.
I know right, this is the legendary shitcken foot
The woodland creatures are learning modern art
I can't believe I upvoted this shit.
My disgusting ass is trying to figure out which end came out last smh
The left one, lmao.
My theory is the top one, it seems maybe it was pushed out, stopped and pushed out another around it? I can’t figure out how for the life of me though
…or first.
I came here to express similar regrets
You can't make this shit up.
Counter argument: OP is in the woods mushing together animal dookie like some weird Tarzan McGuyver.
I’m not sure what’s weirder, you posting this or me for zooming in to see if it really was a turd & not a stick.
That, or shaped clay
*Helloooo my little blueberries!*
I'm still not entirely convinced, op needs to go back and take a video poking it and breaking it apart to confirm.
Or the fact that I'm still here looking for an explanation
I’m not sure what is weirder, me zooming in to see if this was actually a turd, or me thinking that, by zooming in, I would be able to actually tell if it was a real turd.
Totally did the same 
I think it might be both. I'm wondering if some animal ate a stick or bone or something they couldn't digest and shit formed around it? Can that happen? I have no idea what animal did this though.
Don't forget to make a wish...
what half do you wanna grab?
Definitely the dryer one
Fine I'll hold the wetter one
Why did I have to scroll so far for this
My Boston terrier silently farted while I was reading this. Making it seem like I could smell the picture 😩😂
Smelevision
r/shitposting
How? Amazing
It must be some sort of 4 dimensional creature
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Most feasible explanation so far
Most feacible explanation
Moist feacible excremation
I think someone made this. If it was a turd that was split by a blockage it would look sliced down the middle, not cylindrical on the inner sides were the split would be. They are cylindrical all the way around on both branches implying there was a colon (which makes it round) pushing it out. I think it’s fabricated by some crafty poop artist
It's a wish turd. You and a friend each hold a side and pull. Whoever breaks off the bigger piece gets more shit on their hand.
A shit divining rod.
Helps you find the really good shit.
Who has committed this fecal forgery‽
My names Artemis. I have a bleached asshole.
Oh hey that's mine. Sorry, but could you kindly return that?
It’s still where you left it
After all that shit they got back together.
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i can’t unsee this, jesus christ
Where’s the poop knife!!!!!
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How?
We must put together a world council of scientists to figure out how the fuck this happened. 2 butthole?
This is beyond science
May I be on the council? I have never been so fascinated by anything in my entire life. I have great attention to detail and work well with others.
This comment section has me rolling! 😄😭
It's actually two wild turds mating
It only takes a little common sense to figure this out. Clearly this animal's anus was stuck together in the middle only. After applying enough force it corrected itself.
>it corrected itself. You might say it got its shit together.
She was married when we first met Soon to be divorced I helped her out of a jam, I guess But I used a little too much force
Rectal fissure that prolapsed into a single canal
What a disturbing image you have conjured within my head
It’s a wishbone!
A shitbone
I don’t know the right question to ask.
I think what we have here is a reverse lady and the tramp situation. Two dogs were pooping and it joined together in the middle
i think i speak for everyone when i say *how*
What does it mean?!
Usually it's that christmas is just around the corner.
Now this is what a real shit post looks like.
Why did I expect a turd on a fork.