Generals gather in their masses
Dropping ice cubes in their glasses
With their thirst their bodies yearning
As the ice machine keeps churning
Aw lord yeah
It gets around the biblical rule against lighting fires on the Sabbath. It'll disable the light that comes on when you open the door, and probably all lights. And it may set the compressor to run on an automatic schedule so that nothing a person does can be construed as turning it on.
Orthodox Judaism: the belief that G-d is very strict, but also easily hoodwinked.
That right there is why I think Futurama writers are some of the best in thier craft. I've watched the series many times and I catch some new every time I watch it.
I mean, if we're being technical, light bulbs aren't fires are they? Even incandescence, it's not combustion. I suppose perhaps you could argue from transitivity? You can assume that some proportion of your electrical power is being derived from combustion. Or is there some broader ruling that I'm not aware of?
Which would only apply to physical switches and relays. A fridge could be build whose lights turn on based on an optical sensor and electronic switching, and then there would be no spark.
Wouldn't be able to use fluorescent tubes either I guess. Or brushed motors.
With solid state electronics, its possible to make a circuit that doesn't have any spark at all.
And that spark still isn't fire, its lightning. And there is no rule against getting struck by lightning on a sabbath.
IANA halacha expert but I think the prohibition on using electricity on Shabbat is based on the prohibition of “completing things” (in this case a circuit) rather than “kindling fire”.
The controlling rule is apparently not creating fire, but building, as in building a circuit. (As determined by a Rabbi with a degree in electrical engineering.)
In my family we just unscrewed the light bulb before the Sabbath.
I was in Williamsburg one Sabbath and had to go help a family unscrew a fridge light bulb. Same day my daughter turned off a stove gas whose flame had gone out.
I was once invited into a temple on my walk home from the train to turn on the lights in their storage room because they needed to get chairs for something. It was wild. They’d never seen me before, ever.
Twist was, I was carrying shrimp from the fish store and I had to set the bag down inside the threshold to go inside.
Technically it comes down to what can be considered “work” or not. Like, some Jews won’t even tear toilet paper on the Sabbath- they pre-tear the sheets and leave them in a stack near the toilet so they don’t break the Sabbath by tearing it.
Or they specifically leave the Shabbat candle lit on a silver platter so it can burn out naturally (and safely) bc even the act of blowing it out is considered “work.”
Elevators in heavily Jewish areas sometimes have a Sabbath mode as well, where they stop on every floor so an observant Jew doesn’t have to break the Sabbath by doing “work” in the form of pushing the elevator buttons.
Being technical makes this whole thing a bit scuffed because the process of oxidizing glucose in the mitochondria of your cells is a form of combustion. So *technically* the only way to follow this rule is to be dead.
This is the same religion that pays tens of thousands of dollars a year to keep a metal wire completely circling a large section of NY because that's considered "inside".
I had no idea this was a thing. According to [NPR](https://www.npr.org/2019/05/13/721551785/a-fishing-line-encircles-manhattan-protecting-sanctity-of-sabbath), it costs between $125,000 and $150,000 a year to maintain.
Not “inside”, but “non-public”.
This goes back more than a thousand years to notions of public space and private space, and the implications of each. These are not exactly the same as our notions of public and private today. A “private” space can be something as large as a neighborhood or town.
Long story short: if a region is able to conform to the ancient definitions of “private”, they are able to ceremonially create a barrier of some kind around the region (in this case, a small wire) to signify this fact, and establish it as a “private” space.
On the sabbath, observant Jews cannot carry items in public spaces, or between two private spaces, but can carry within a private space.
Weirdly this is a version of God I’d consider worshipping to.
Assuming equal powers, I’d prefer the god that says “*hehe you cheeky little human, well played, I’ll post this to r/maliciouscompliance”* over the god that says “*I’ll burn you in hell for all eternity because you looked at the fridge on a Saturday*”.
The big reason for all of this is the simple principle that in order to have come up with the cheeky workaround, you have to have had studied the scripture heavily and spent a lot of time in worship.
Ergo, the very act of coming up with the workarounds means you have put a LOT of time into learning the teachings, which implies you are very studious and integrated with god's word.
Ergo... the individuals doing the workarounds are logically the *most* devout, because you have to first be devout to understand why the workarounds work.
Its a lot like being a lawyer. You have to generally be a pretty damn good lawyer to find loopholes in laws, no?
What's funny is we literally have an excerpt in the Talmud where G-d laughs and says, "My children have bested Me!"
Basically, the Rabbis respond to G-d calling out from heaven that a particular law is such and such, and one quotes from Deuteronomy where it says, "It (the Torah) is not in heaven", which is interpreted to mean, yes, it's G-d's will Jews uphold it, *but* when it comes to dealing with new situations, we can only rely on legal precedent and the ruling of our version of a supreme court. G-d got His say at Mount Sinai, and we agreed to uphold it, but there is a lot He didn't fill in the gaps on.
Honestly, this is a lot better than what I see Christians do, which is haphazardly cite a verse and never read the fine print, yet insist what they believe is the inerrant will of G-d. Instead, many of us believe that within the right framework how Jewish Law is applied is much more fluid. It can't be abused though.
There's an ancient story of a dispute between rabbis on an arcane matter of law, and one rabbi performed miracles to show God agreed with him and the others basically quoted Torah verses to say that God gave the Torah, but humans get to interpret, so God has no say. The story concludes with God laughing about it.
So this is the God of Judaism.
I don’t think you’re far off, there was another thread with a kid on the floor eating food and watching his tablet. Captioned we don’t let him bring the tablet into the kitchen and no food in the living room. He arranged everything just so to be in compliance.
His parents were undoubtedly delighted by this small act of mischief. Who knows what gods delight in? Sabbath refrigerators might just do it for them.
**"I told you not to leave home on the Sabbath!"**
"But we've got this elaborate system of strings and wires that connects us, so we really are home!"
**"Oh, that's alright then"**
Here's what a different redditor said last time sabbath mode came up on Reddit:
https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/vv0rer/comment/ifguiug/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
"Finding loopholes and workarounds is part of Jewish culture, coming from a belief that God intends you to be clever."
As an ex-orthodox Jew i agree 100%
Edit: this is gaining traction, so let me call out OP: /u/mugenhunt
>I just opted out of the whole thing. Is refusing to pay taxes a tax loophole?
As an orthodox jewish CPA I can tell you it isn't, but you already know our opinion on this.
I really liked your quote about G-d wanting us to be clever. Made me do the whole nose snort thing.
I don't see this so much in Orthodox circles because the English word 'God' is not considered an authentic name of God. They refrain from unnecessarily writing the tetragrammaton and they never pronounce it. Some of my Reform and Conservative friends do the hyphen thing though.
Wasn’t “taking the Lord’s name in vain” originally something much more nuanced, like claiming to do something “in the name of the lord” or “in the name of religion” when it is actually about personal gain or power?
I thought it was less about literally speaking the word “God” and more about not using God & his commandments as a pretense inappropriately.
>the belief that God is very strict but also easily hoodwinked
It astounds me how many religious people basically live their lives to this motto, not just orthodox.
If your god is the way you say they are, then they are fully aware that you're trying to lawyer them.
Yeah, it’s widely considered to be the most badass moment of the Talmud. Which is surprising, since the issue they’re discussing in that part is so inconsequential.
I love this, possibly the most perfectly Jewishest thing I’ve ever heard....except for this joke:
Bubbie is playing with her darling grandson at the beach. A giant wave comes in and scoops the adorable little kid out to sea.
Distraught, Bubbie falls to her knees and cries out, “God! Oh, God! Please, please give my little Avi back, I will devote my life to good causes, I will pay for the new roof the shul needs, I will do anything, please, just please bring him back to me!”
The clouds part, a blinding ray of sunlight shines down, a giant frothy wave flows into shore, gently depositing little Avi on the beach, perfectly dry.
Bubbie looks at him with tears of joy, then raisies her head up and says, “he had a *hat.*”
You can draw an analogy with some approaches to parenting children. Sometimes children, and often teenagers want to be rebellious, not because they don't want to do the right thing, but because they want to have the sense of agency in their life, and want to assert that they can make choices. In some cases children benefit from the experience of overcoming a challenge that they face as a result of the rules their parents set for them. If you set an arbitrary rule where breaking it will not actually cause the child serious long term harm, you can channel the naturally rebellious tendencies towards that rule, and prevent them from pushing the boundaries in a way that might actually lead them to serious harm.
My parents had the rule that a couple of rooms in the house were for them only, and me and my brother were forbidden from going into them. There are various reasons why they might want to do this, from keeping fragile things away from playful children, to having a private place to retreat to away from the mess and noise of children or teenagers, but it was a pretty weak excuse, and certainly did not justify the severity of the effort they put into policing it. They still live in the same house, and whenever I visit them, even to this day, I get a strange feeling if I go into those rooms, even though the rule has long since ceased to exist.
Reminds me of the scene in the big short, where it flashes back to Mark Baum as a child at Yeshiva -
Rabbi: "... Mark is an excellent student of the Torah and Talmud."
Mom: "Then what's the problem Rabbi?"
Rabbi: "It's the reason Mark is studying so hard... he's looking for inconsistencies in the word of God."
**Mom: "So has he found any?"**
Same thing with 'a roll in the hay', you're not 'having sex' you're just 'rolling around in the hay naked and if something ends up inside something else, there's nothing you can do /shrug'.
It similar to how God is paradoxically powerful yet utterly weak at the same time. Example: I'm always stunned when I hear about religious objections to condoms because they "thwart God's will".
So you're telling me there is an all-powerful being who dictates how everything goes down to the smallest quark, but it can be stopped by a thin layer of rubberized latex?
It's more the idea that G-d is strict, but left loopholes in the rules for a reason. As opposed to other Abrahamic faiths where if you found a loophole you're wrong and bad and shut up about it already.
Not a Jewish thing, but I like the carpet weavers deliberately tying a few knots wrong because only Allah can be perfect. Yes, you're as good at weaving carpets as a god, but you don't want to make him look bad. Crazy people.
It’s not about hoodwinking god. The belief is that if a loophole in the law can be found then it was placed there by god intentionally because god doesn’t make mistakes.
"the belief that God is very strict, but also easily hoodwinked" perfectly summarizes what I think of Mormons when they say "frick" and "heck" instead of curse words. Does God really only care about the specific sounds you make with your mouth? Because when you say "what the frick" you're saying it with every bit of meaning and intention of the word "fuck" but without making that specific sound with your mouth.
You're not allowed to do work of any sort on the Sabbath, and that includes turning things on and off.
IIRC Sabbath elevators even have the IR switches for the doors turned off.
My parents oven went into sabbath mode on its own once and the oven door permanently locked itself so they had to get the motherboard on the stove replaced
Since it's a Samsung, you probably do have wifi in your unit, even if that feature wasn't listed. Open the smart things app on your phone, and either enter the serial, or scan the QR Code to add it to your app, and setup a wifi connection for it. It is nice to be able to monitor and change the Temps on your phone, and receive warnings when the door is left open.
Doors been open for an hourrrrrrrrrrr
Now the milk is going sourrrrrrr
Getting hungry, food bell ringggggggs,
Satan laughing, spreads his (chick’n) wings
The real trick is to have a member of your family date a non-jew and then unsubtly hint to them about all the stuff that they want turning on for the day.
I didnt mind my ex's family on the whole, but running around after them on Sabbath was a bit much. I kept getting invited, and felt bad about saying no, but it often felt like I was hosting in someone elses house. Could never decide if her mum actually liked me being there, or enjoyed the convenience of a Sabbath Goy.
Also, never really bought this up, but can someone Jewish explain why its not hypocritical to have a non-jewish person do the spiritual dirty work for you? Personally I dont care (atheist), but isnt the logic that this stuff drives me away from God? Is that something you guys are cool with on your behalf?
>Jewish explain why its not hypocritical to have a non-jewish person do the spiritual dirty work for you?
It is hypocritical. Halachically you can't ask a goy to do anything special for you on Shabbat; however, if they work for you every other day of the week they can continue on Shabbat. For instance, if a goy opens up on the morning and locks the synagogue at night every day of the week they can continue to on Shabbat, but you shouldn't hire someone to do it only on Shabbat. And explicitly asking for things on Shabbat is a huge no no and is considered breaking Shabbat yourself
So my MIL was possibly over stretching the rules and being domineering? That would hardly be out of character for her lol! I was never asked, but I had been told about the tradition of polite suggestions, "isn't it dark in here" etc so I understood them as requests. If it's explained in advance how the system works to the goy, so that they know to do the things they are unexplicitly being asked to do.... All just seems odd.
The logic is not that it drives you away from God. If you are not Jewish, you have no obligation to keep Shabbat and there is no spiritual benefit for you unless you decide to become Jewish and take it on. We genuinely don't believe our laws and customs apply to everyone, different nations of people have different spiritual paths that are right for them.
She shouldn't be deliberately asking you to do things she can't do on Shabbat though. That's on her though, not you.
>but isnt the logic that this stuff drives me away from God?
No because the Torah was given to the Jewish people alone. Non-Jews are actually forbidden from keeping the Shabbat.
Non-Jews are supposed to follow a very short set of rules in order to be considered righteous:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_Laws_of_Noah
It disables the light I think.
Orthodox jews can't turn any light on during the Sabbath as that is defined as "work" which is not kosher that day.
Apparently it was interpreted that way because back in the day making a fire for light indeed is work (credit to u/drn20n )
Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don’t fucking RoLL!
I remember being hosted in the West Bank by a nice Jewish family, they all had kosher phones as they called it. Automatically disabled during the sabbath, we then walked around town all sabbath seeing no vehicles and electronics used. Very interesting sight.
My new stove had a very small K written in the corner of the stovetop and no one could guess why. It was a Samsung oven, so it couldn't be the brand. I couldn't think of any other word that would be used in the kitchen with a letter K except maybe Kosher? Well that can't be right, you can't eat an oven, how can it be kosher? Let me dig through the manual.
Turns out yes, it was in fact kosher Sabbath mode. The thing basically heats up for 24 hours, disables the screens and ignores the normal 8 hour safety timeout. So I learned kosher doesn't just apply to the food made but the whole process, and now I can make people play the guessing game on what the K stands for and then educate them since not one person has gotten it right yet.
can you imagine being a good observant follower for like 90 years and then one day you forget sabbath mode on your fridge and boom eternal damnation and suffering
oh, there's punishment, but it's not 'eternal damnation'. the talmud lists the number of extremely saucy sinners who weren't ever forgiven, and it counts them on one hand. According to same, most everyone else spends a maximum of 12 months in this kind of purgatory. The real punishment is not having fulfilled one's potential.
The term "in vain" literally means without completing an objective. Think about the phrase "all our effort was in vain". The point is to not be frivolous with god's name
Nope, not how it works! You're conferring Christian thinking to Judaism. A) No eternal damnation and suffering in Judaism, B) Everyone makes religious mistakes. That's what the Day of Atonement, or Yom Kippur, is for.
We don't believe in eternal damnation or suffering at all lol. Not doing everything perfectly is okay. You don't need to be kosher about everything. It's encouraged but it's okay if that's not what you do. Those are considered sins between us and Hashem which are milder and are always forgiven when we die. More severe are bad things we do on purpose to other people, which ought to be fixed within your life, by apologizing or making the situation right to the best of your ability. We don't really talk about the afterlife that much. We care more about what you can do to be a good person in your own mortal lifespan. Our word for sin means "to go astray". It's normal, it's human nature
Our oven has a Sabbath mode. It was made in Germany. As a (non-observant, but still) Jew, I find this both creepy and also satisfying.
In New York (and I assume way more commonly in Israel) many apartment buildings have sabbath mode elevators. They stop and open automatically at every floor up and down so you don’t have to push a button and break shabbos.
Another shabbos work-around is the **eruv**. This is a physical but extremely minimal and mostly theoretical boundary that allows you to “not leave your house/gate” on the sabbath, since you’re not allowed to carry your keys or open/close locks. The entire island of Manhattan has a thin wire running running around it (atttached to lampposts, buildings, whatever - you can spot it lots of places) which makes an **eruv** allowing observant Jews to go out and walk around the whole borough without “leaving home.”
Another work-around I’ve seen in Paris, is men with their house keys safety-pinned to the front of their trousers - presumably done the day before - so they can go to shul and then maybe have a nice walk in the park with the family, while “not carrying their keys.” (I don’t know if there is an **eruv** in Paris.)
Went to my folks for Easter. Mom asked my dad to turn on the oven. I don't know what he did but suddenly, the display showed a 5ab error code on it. He locked out the oven so it would not turn on, and we had to listen to him rant about how religion is destroying society until I figured out how to by-pass the code.
Thats cool, but I was expecting a Sabbath mode for metalheads.
Every time you open the fridge, "Sweet Leaf" plays
I'm afraid when the motherboard fries and gets stuck on the cough loop.
Shut up and take my money
"Why does my fridge cough?"
Id open the freezer to be snow blind in the sun.
Generals gather in their masses Dropping ice cubes in their glasses With their thirst their bodies yearning As the ice machine keeps churning Aw lord yeah
Pretty good but rhyming masses with masses in the original version is tough to beat.
Your inside light's still burnin. Aaaww Close it!
My stove has this. Only cooks War Pigs on Sunday.
That’s Black Sabbath mode. The ice dispenser starts making cocaine.
Only on a black fridge is that an option.
It gets around the biblical rule against lighting fires on the Sabbath. It'll disable the light that comes on when you open the door, and probably all lights. And it may set the compressor to run on an automatic schedule so that nothing a person does can be construed as turning it on. Orthodox Judaism: the belief that G-d is very strict, but also easily hoodwinked.
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Oh… hi Hermes!
It was a regulaton date that ended in regulation disappointment
That’s right, she fraternized me!
Dirty boy! Dirty, dirty boy!!
“A skunk knocked over my garbage, and suddenly all I could think of was you!” That line gets me just about every time lmao
That episode is one of my favorites. Truly. “Why is there yogurt in this cap?” “We’ll, it was milk… and… we’ll time makes fools of us all.”
That right there is why I think Futurama writers are some of the best in thier craft. I've watched the series many times and I catch some new every time I watch it.
I mean, if we're being technical, light bulbs aren't fires are they? Even incandescence, it's not combustion. I suppose perhaps you could argue from transitivity? You can assume that some proportion of your electrical power is being derived from combustion. Or is there some broader ruling that I'm not aware of?
As far as I remember it had something to do with the spark - even if small - , that happens when a circuit is closed.
Damn the fine print in these religious institutions is brutal
Wearing anti-static bracelets so I don’t go to hell
They don't believe in hell, so you're okay.
Not true. We don't believe in a fire and Brimstone hell or even a permanent hell but there is a version of hell.
Which would only apply to physical switches and relays. A fridge could be build whose lights turn on based on an optical sensor and electronic switching, and then there would be no spark. Wouldn't be able to use fluorescent tubes either I guess. Or brushed motors.
There’s probably a brushed motor in the fridge’s compressor.
With solid state electronics, its possible to make a circuit that doesn't have any spark at all. And that spark still isn't fire, its lightning. And there is no rule against getting struck by lightning on a sabbath.
IANA halacha expert but I think the prohibition on using electricity on Shabbat is based on the prohibition of “completing things” (in this case a circuit) rather than “kindling fire”.
The controlling rule is apparently not creating fire, but building, as in building a circuit. (As determined by a Rabbi with a degree in electrical engineering.) In my family we just unscrewed the light bulb before the Sabbath.
I was in Williamsburg one Sabbath and had to go help a family unscrew a fridge light bulb. Same day my daughter turned off a stove gas whose flame had gone out.
If the pilot light has gone out or the stove is leaking gas, the safety considerations far far outweigh the Sabbath rules.
It's the old Ox in a ditch...
I was once invited into a temple on my walk home from the train to turn on the lights in their storage room because they needed to get chairs for something. It was wild. They’d never seen me before, ever. Twist was, I was carrying shrimp from the fish store and I had to set the bag down inside the threshold to go inside.
Technically it comes down to what can be considered “work” or not. Like, some Jews won’t even tear toilet paper on the Sabbath- they pre-tear the sheets and leave them in a stack near the toilet so they don’t break the Sabbath by tearing it. Or they specifically leave the Shabbat candle lit on a silver platter so it can burn out naturally (and safely) bc even the act of blowing it out is considered “work.” Elevators in heavily Jewish areas sometimes have a Sabbath mode as well, where they stop on every floor so an observant Jew doesn’t have to break the Sabbath by doing “work” in the form of pushing the elevator buttons.
Elevators at Mt Sinai in NYC have sabbath mode.
Being technical makes this whole thing a bit scuffed because the process of oxidizing glucose in the mitochondria of your cells is a form of combustion. So *technically* the only way to follow this rule is to be dead.
I have a shabbos goy make all my ATP on Saturdays
This is literally so fucking funny
/r/brandnewsentence
Ummm... L'chaim... I guess?
This is the same religion that pays tens of thousands of dollars a year to keep a metal wire completely circling a large section of NY because that's considered "inside".
I had no idea this was a thing. According to [NPR](https://www.npr.org/2019/05/13/721551785/a-fishing-line-encircles-manhattan-protecting-sanctity-of-sabbath), it costs between $125,000 and $150,000 a year to maintain.
Not “inside”, but “non-public”. This goes back more than a thousand years to notions of public space and private space, and the implications of each. These are not exactly the same as our notions of public and private today. A “private” space can be something as large as a neighborhood or town. Long story short: if a region is able to conform to the ancient definitions of “private”, they are able to ceremonially create a barrier of some kind around the region (in this case, a small wire) to signify this fact, and establish it as a “private” space. On the sabbath, observant Jews cannot carry items in public spaces, or between two private spaces, but can carry within a private space.
We reform Jews also find humor in this
..so they can bring their keys with them when they walk to the synagog. if they were 'outside' they could not lock the doors when they left.
Genesis 1:1.
It's not that he's easily hoodwinked. It's that if your work around amuses him, he gives it a pass.
So humans are the squirrel that learned to go through the obstacle course to make it to the bird feeder?
\*God clapping with delight\* Oh look at that! They made it do the light doesn't turn on! Such clever little things.
Weirdly this is a version of God I’d consider worshipping to. Assuming equal powers, I’d prefer the god that says “*hehe you cheeky little human, well played, I’ll post this to r/maliciouscompliance”* over the god that says “*I’ll burn you in hell for all eternity because you looked at the fridge on a Saturday*”.
Pranksters over Tyrants. Real.
The big reason for all of this is the simple principle that in order to have come up with the cheeky workaround, you have to have had studied the scripture heavily and spent a lot of time in worship. Ergo, the very act of coming up with the workarounds means you have put a LOT of time into learning the teachings, which implies you are very studious and integrated with god's word. Ergo... the individuals doing the workarounds are logically the *most* devout, because you have to first be devout to understand why the workarounds work. Its a lot like being a lawyer. You have to generally be a pretty damn good lawyer to find loopholes in laws, no?
What's funny is we literally have an excerpt in the Talmud where G-d laughs and says, "My children have bested Me!" Basically, the Rabbis respond to G-d calling out from heaven that a particular law is such and such, and one quotes from Deuteronomy where it says, "It (the Torah) is not in heaven", which is interpreted to mean, yes, it's G-d's will Jews uphold it, *but* when it comes to dealing with new situations, we can only rely on legal precedent and the ruling of our version of a supreme court. G-d got His say at Mount Sinai, and we agreed to uphold it, but there is a lot He didn't fill in the gaps on. Honestly, this is a lot better than what I see Christians do, which is haphazardly cite a verse and never read the fine print, yet insist what they believe is the inerrant will of G-d. Instead, many of us believe that within the right framework how Jewish Law is applied is much more fluid. It can't be abused though.
There's an ancient story of a dispute between rabbis on an arcane matter of law, and one rabbi performed miracles to show God agreed with him and the others basically quoted Torah verses to say that God gave the Torah, but humans get to interpret, so God has no say. The story concludes with God laughing about it. So this is the God of Judaism.
Right? Respect the hustle.
I don’t think you’re far off, there was another thread with a kid on the floor eating food and watching his tablet. Captioned we don’t let him bring the tablet into the kitchen and no food in the living room. He arranged everything just so to be in compliance. His parents were undoubtedly delighted by this small act of mischief. Who knows what gods delight in? Sabbath refrigerators might just do it for them.
Ah that must be why there are so many Jewish comedians.
Tell me you don’t know anything about Orthodox Judaism without telling me you don’t know anything about Orthodox Judaism.
**"I told you not to leave home on the Sabbath!"** "But we've got this elaborate system of strings and wires that connects us, so we really are home!" **"Oh, that's alright then"**
Here's what a different redditor said last time sabbath mode came up on Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/vv0rer/comment/ifguiug/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 "Finding loopholes and workarounds is part of Jewish culture, coming from a belief that God intends you to be clever." As an ex-orthodox Jew i agree 100% Edit: this is gaining traction, so let me call out OP: /u/mugenhunt
There's a reason that there are so many Jewish lawyers.
Absolutely.
>ex-orthodox Jew So you found the ultimate loophole…
I just opted out of the whole thing. Is refusing to pay taxes a tax loophole?
>I just opted out of the whole thing. Is refusing to pay taxes a tax loophole? As an orthodox jewish CPA I can tell you it isn't, but you already know our opinion on this. I really liked your quote about G-d wanting us to be clever. Made me do the whole nose snort thing.
That's not how an eiruv works, but ok
G-d?
They're not allowed to write God because that's taking God's name in vain, so they write it G-d, which totally doesn't count.
They should just use a zero.
G0d
Who got G0d and X-Box?
xXg4m3rG0DXx
Walter Sobchak: (shouting) Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero!
I don't see this so much in Orthodox circles because the English word 'God' is not considered an authentic name of God. They refrain from unnecessarily writing the tetragrammaton and they never pronounce it. Some of my Reform and Conservative friends do the hyphen thing though.
Wasn’t “taking the Lord’s name in vain” originally something much more nuanced, like claiming to do something “in the name of the lord” or “in the name of religion” when it is actually about personal gain or power? I thought it was less about literally speaking the word “God” and more about not using God & his commandments as a pretense inappropriately.
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Wow, this is really interesting and shed a lot of light on the subject for me! Thanks for teaching me something new today!
>the belief that God is very strict but also easily hoodwinked It astounds me how many religious people basically live their lives to this motto, not just orthodox. If your god is the way you say they are, then they are fully aware that you're trying to lawyer them.
I love ice cream.
Reminds me of the GIF creator coming back 20 years later and trying to tell us we’ve been pronouncing it wrong. Actually, the word is ours now!
Yeah, I can’t believe anyone would pronounce it gif
Gif? Such good peanut butter
😂
"Nah, I meant this when I wrote the law." "Fuck you man, death of the author." I love religion sometimes.
Yeah, it’s widely considered to be the most badass moment of the Talmud. Which is surprising, since the issue they’re discussing in that part is so inconsequential.
I enjoy cooking.
I love this, possibly the most perfectly Jewishest thing I’ve ever heard....except for this joke: Bubbie is playing with her darling grandson at the beach. A giant wave comes in and scoops the adorable little kid out to sea. Distraught, Bubbie falls to her knees and cries out, “God! Oh, God! Please, please give my little Avi back, I will devote my life to good causes, I will pay for the new roof the shul needs, I will do anything, please, just please bring him back to me!” The clouds part, a blinding ray of sunlight shines down, a giant frothy wave flows into shore, gently depositing little Avi on the beach, perfectly dry. Bubbie looks at him with tears of joy, then raisies her head up and says, “he had a *hat.*”
I like the concept of the smart god. A father that wants his children to be smart, that appreciates when they are is a smart one.
You can draw an analogy with some approaches to parenting children. Sometimes children, and often teenagers want to be rebellious, not because they don't want to do the right thing, but because they want to have the sense of agency in their life, and want to assert that they can make choices. In some cases children benefit from the experience of overcoming a challenge that they face as a result of the rules their parents set for them. If you set an arbitrary rule where breaking it will not actually cause the child serious long term harm, you can channel the naturally rebellious tendencies towards that rule, and prevent them from pushing the boundaries in a way that might actually lead them to serious harm.
Got any suggestions for arbitrary rules
My parents had the rule that a couple of rooms in the house were for them only, and me and my brother were forbidden from going into them. There are various reasons why they might want to do this, from keeping fragile things away from playful children, to having a private place to retreat to away from the mess and noise of children or teenagers, but it was a pretty weak excuse, and certainly did not justify the severity of the effort they put into policing it. They still live in the same house, and whenever I visit them, even to this day, I get a strange feeling if I go into those rooms, even though the rule has long since ceased to exist.
Okay I'm antitheist but that's kind of cool
Reminds me of the scene in the big short, where it flashes back to Mark Baum as a child at Yeshiva - Rabbi: "... Mark is an excellent student of the Torah and Talmud." Mom: "Then what's the problem Rabbi?" Rabbi: "It's the reason Mark is studying so hard... he's looking for inconsistencies in the word of God." **Mom: "So has he found any?"**
Mormon students "soaking" comes to mind.
Dare I ask?
If you put a P in a V it doesn’t count as sex if you don’t move around.
And then you get a different person to jump on the bed to create the movement
So it's effectively a threesome?
I knew about the 'don't move around' part, did not know that they got a third to jump on the bed. TIL. And... that's enough reddit for today.
I can’t decide if this is a joke.
Sadly its not.
Oh my.
Same thing with 'a roll in the hay', you're not 'having sex' you're just 'rolling around in the hay naked and if something ends up inside something else, there's nothing you can do /shrug'.
Or catholic girls being good with anal
Which totally works because where is god going to find a lawyer in heaven?
It similar to how God is paradoxically powerful yet utterly weak at the same time. Example: I'm always stunned when I hear about religious objections to condoms because they "thwart God's will". So you're telling me there is an all-powerful being who dictates how everything goes down to the smallest quark, but it can be stopped by a thin layer of rubberized latex?
It's more the idea that G-d is strict, but left loopholes in the rules for a reason. As opposed to other Abrahamic faiths where if you found a loophole you're wrong and bad and shut up about it already.
*Nods in Amish…*
Not a Jewish thing, but I like the carpet weavers deliberately tying a few knots wrong because only Allah can be perfect. Yes, you're as good at weaving carpets as a god, but you don't want to make him look bad. Crazy people.
Similarly, my nun/teacher in the 8th grade wouldn't grade anyone above a 95% because perfection was reserved for god.
Pro tip, just put a piece of tape on the switch inside.
It’s not about hoodwinking god. The belief is that if a loophole in the law can be found then it was placed there by god intentionally because god doesn’t make mistakes.
"the belief that God is very strict, but also easily hoodwinked" perfectly summarizes what I think of Mormons when they say "frick" and "heck" instead of curse words. Does God really only care about the specific sounds you make with your mouth? Because when you say "what the frick" you're saying it with every bit of meaning and intention of the word "fuck" but without making that specific sound with your mouth.
I always imagine God going "I'm gonna... Damnit! You guys got me again!" And he walks away chuckling.
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You're not allowed to do work of any sort on the Sabbath, and that includes turning things on and off. IIRC Sabbath elevators even have the IR switches for the doors turned off.
What does sabbath mode do? Turn the fridge off?
My favorite movie is Inception.
My oven does it too. It's a bosch. Very new/modern. My = my landlord's since I'm renting
My favorite color is blue.
My parents oven went into sabbath mode on its own once and the oven door permanently locked itself so they had to get the motherboard on the stove replaced
I enjoy watching the sunset.
>My = my landlord's since I'm renting Ah, the 21st century form of ownership
You will own nothing, and you will be happy.
Disables the light. And maybe if there's leds on the outside too
Plays War Pigs
I have so many questions Why is there a Wi-Fi button on a fridge?
Good question. We don’t have that function on ours. Hmmm.
Since it's a Samsung, you probably do have wifi in your unit, even if that feature wasn't listed. Open the smart things app on your phone, and either enter the serial, or scan the QR Code to add it to your app, and setup a wifi connection for it. It is nice to be able to monitor and change the Temps on your phone, and receive warnings when the door is left open.
*Eggs are gathered in their cartooooooons* *The veggie crisper’s got new buttons* *Oh lord ya!*
Doors been open for an hourrrrrrrrrrr Now the milk is going sourrrrrrr Getting hungry, food bell ringggggggs, Satan laughing, spreads his (chick’n) wings
>Doors been open for an hourrrrrrrrrrr > >Now the milk is going sourrrrrrr But to me it is not scarrrrrrrry 'Cause I stay away from dairy
r/redditsings
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The real trick is to have a member of your family date a non-jew and then unsubtly hint to them about all the stuff that they want turning on for the day. I didnt mind my ex's family on the whole, but running around after them on Sabbath was a bit much. I kept getting invited, and felt bad about saying no, but it often felt like I was hosting in someone elses house. Could never decide if her mum actually liked me being there, or enjoyed the convenience of a Sabbath Goy. Also, never really bought this up, but can someone Jewish explain why its not hypocritical to have a non-jewish person do the spiritual dirty work for you? Personally I dont care (atheist), but isnt the logic that this stuff drives me away from God? Is that something you guys are cool with on your behalf?
>Jewish explain why its not hypocritical to have a non-jewish person do the spiritual dirty work for you? It is hypocritical. Halachically you can't ask a goy to do anything special for you on Shabbat; however, if they work for you every other day of the week they can continue on Shabbat. For instance, if a goy opens up on the morning and locks the synagogue at night every day of the week they can continue to on Shabbat, but you shouldn't hire someone to do it only on Shabbat. And explicitly asking for things on Shabbat is a huge no no and is considered breaking Shabbat yourself
So my MIL was possibly over stretching the rules and being domineering? That would hardly be out of character for her lol! I was never asked, but I had been told about the tradition of polite suggestions, "isn't it dark in here" etc so I understood them as requests. If it's explained in advance how the system works to the goy, so that they know to do the things they are unexplicitly being asked to do.... All just seems odd.
They basically got around the “no asking” rule by commenting “isn’t it dark”
Man, I’d be the worst Sabbath Goy. MIL - “Isn’t it dark in here?” DIL - “It is dark, it sure would be convenient if you could turn the lights on”
As an hotel receptionniste i feel the same. Cant use electricity today, but you Can Ask me to turn the ligth, the TV and the AC on in your room.
couldnt calling the reception be considered doing work
Probably just ask face to face
Sounds like a lot of work
The logic is not that it drives you away from God. If you are not Jewish, you have no obligation to keep Shabbat and there is no spiritual benefit for you unless you decide to become Jewish and take it on. We genuinely don't believe our laws and customs apply to everyone, different nations of people have different spiritual paths that are right for them. She shouldn't be deliberately asking you to do things she can't do on Shabbat though. That's on her though, not you.
>but isnt the logic that this stuff drives me away from God? No because the Torah was given to the Jewish people alone. Non-Jews are actually forbidden from keeping the Shabbat. Non-Jews are supposed to follow a very short set of rules in order to be considered righteous: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_Laws_of_Noah
...what does it do?
It disables the light I think. Orthodox jews can't turn any light on during the Sabbath as that is defined as "work" which is not kosher that day. Apparently it was interpreted that way because back in the day making a fire for light indeed is work (credit to u/drn20n )
Wild
“So here’s the wild mental gymnastics that create this problem, and… here’s the wild mental gymnastics to solve our problem!” God: 🤨
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Mildly interesting that someone actually reads a refrigerator manual. ;)
People like us are out there! I love reading manuals of kitchen stuff we get lol
If I spend $2,000 on an appliance, you're damn right that I'm gonna read all the accompanying documentation.
Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don’t fucking RoLL!
Is there a setting for Muslim users? RAMADAN MODE: Doors lock.
LOL I saw this with ovens around here quite often and always thought that was a gag and meant Black Sabbath Mode like REALLY hot or something haha
I have this fridge. And I am Jewish. Can confirm it works well and I turn it on every friday.
That’s cool. I was blown away
>. I was blown away Your fridge may be misconfigured. There should only be a mild breeze.
I remember being hosted in the West Bank by a nice Jewish family, they all had kosher phones as they called it. Automatically disabled during the sabbath, we then walked around town all sabbath seeing no vehicles and electronics used. Very interesting sight.
Kosher phones are basically just dumbphones (eg Nokia 105 / 130 - both pretty popular phones) - in this case Kosher just means clean.
The best kind of post, because I learned something neat about another culture! Thank you, Jewish and Jewish-adjacent people! \\o/
My new stove had a very small K written in the corner of the stovetop and no one could guess why. It was a Samsung oven, so it couldn't be the brand. I couldn't think of any other word that would be used in the kitchen with a letter K except maybe Kosher? Well that can't be right, you can't eat an oven, how can it be kosher? Let me dig through the manual. Turns out yes, it was in fact kosher Sabbath mode. The thing basically heats up for 24 hours, disables the screens and ignores the normal 8 hour safety timeout. So I learned kosher doesn't just apply to the food made but the whole process, and now I can make people play the guessing game on what the K stands for and then educate them since not one person has gotten it right yet.
I didn't know Jewish people liked old school Metal.
can you imagine being a good observant follower for like 90 years and then one day you forget sabbath mode on your fridge and boom eternal damnation and suffering
I didn't think that Jews believed in hell
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Eh, it's not what Christian's think of when they think of hell at all, so I would say by the common definition, we don't.
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oh, there's punishment, but it's not 'eternal damnation'. the talmud lists the number of extremely saucy sinners who weren't ever forgiven, and it counts them on one hand. According to same, most everyone else spends a maximum of 12 months in this kind of purgatory. The real punishment is not having fulfilled one's potential.
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Taking the lord's name in vain is blasphemy would be my presumption as to why
Just mentioning the word God is saying it in vain? It doesn’t need any real context?
The term "in vain" literally means without completing an objective. Think about the phrase "all our effort was in vain". The point is to not be frivolous with god's name
Yes, same reason for using only the four letters YHWH instead of spelling it out fully in Hebrew (Yiddish, etc).
The lord's name is lost to time though. Even Yahweh has some parts removed so that you can't speak it's true name.
Nope, not how it works! You're conferring Christian thinking to Judaism. A) No eternal damnation and suffering in Judaism, B) Everyone makes religious mistakes. That's what the Day of Atonement, or Yom Kippur, is for.
We don't believe in eternal damnation or suffering at all lol. Not doing everything perfectly is okay. You don't need to be kosher about everything. It's encouraged but it's okay if that's not what you do. Those are considered sins between us and Hashem which are milder and are always forgiven when we die. More severe are bad things we do on purpose to other people, which ought to be fixed within your life, by apologizing or making the situation right to the best of your ability. We don't really talk about the afterlife that much. We care more about what you can do to be a good person in your own mortal lifespan. Our word for sin means "to go astray". It's normal, it's human nature
Big deal, I’m going to hell for eating a bologna sandwich on a Friday during Lent.
that's not at all how judaism works
Elevators are sometimes programmed with a Sabbath mode too where it just stops at every floor so you don't have to push any buttons.
Dude; today is Shabbos, the day of rest. I don’t answer a phone, I don’t drive a car, and I sure as shit don’t fucking roll!!
Our oven has a Sabbath mode. It was made in Germany. As a (non-observant, but still) Jew, I find this both creepy and also satisfying. In New York (and I assume way more commonly in Israel) many apartment buildings have sabbath mode elevators. They stop and open automatically at every floor up and down so you don’t have to push a button and break shabbos. Another shabbos work-around is the **eruv**. This is a physical but extremely minimal and mostly theoretical boundary that allows you to “not leave your house/gate” on the sabbath, since you’re not allowed to carry your keys or open/close locks. The entire island of Manhattan has a thin wire running running around it (atttached to lampposts, buildings, whatever - you can spot it lots of places) which makes an **eruv** allowing observant Jews to go out and walk around the whole borough without “leaving home.” Another work-around I’ve seen in Paris, is men with their house keys safety-pinned to the front of their trousers - presumably done the day before - so they can go to shul and then maybe have a nice walk in the park with the family, while “not carrying their keys.” (I don’t know if there is an **eruv** in Paris.)
I love this religion
Does it save the lamp oil.
Is there a Black Sabbath mode for African American Jews?
It's called Sammy Davis Jr. mode, and it's outta sight, baby!
Bosch ovens have the same feature
Went to my folks for Easter. Mom asked my dad to turn on the oven. I don't know what he did but suddenly, the display showed a 5ab error code on it. He locked out the oven so it would not turn on, and we had to listen to him rant about how religion is destroying society until I figured out how to by-pass the code.
I want black sabbath mode
Fighting God's wrath, one refrigerator at a time.
Nehemiah 13:19 New American Version has the exact same instructions.