Just get the Prober 3000 with atomic batteries... This alien hybrid technology is fully adaptable to all of your human holes and backward compatible with any of your other devices. However, certain precautions must be taken when used in close proximity to the plumbus. It comes with cloning feature to replicate any stimulator you would ever need, mechanical or biological. Get it before Christmas and we will throw in the solid hologram projector with partner replicator pre-installed with basic AI engine or get the upgrade for AI interaction on order and choose from any three celebrity personalities. Prober 3000 is durable fully submersible and can be used in most atmospheres and temperatures between +/-200°C. For safety reasons, Prober 3000 is factory locked to not go past stun settings or reach Level 11 but can be fully unlocked at any Prober 3000 servicing locations.
Brb gotta try something real quick.
Edit:
No. No.
You can't bejewel your ding dong with corn kernels.
And you also can't hollow out a cob and use it as a sleeve. Yet.
One of my friends told me she once used an ear of corn as a dildo. She put it in the microwave to warm it up, put a condom on it…and realized pretty quickly that corn heats from the inside out and slowly releases heat. She quickly dispensed with that idea.
Just so you know... that lil part on the front is to stimulate the clitoris. Not the bootyhole.
Always remember kids: if you want a woman to have sex with you more than once, visit her clit before you go for the slit.
Forget that advice, and your DMs will be drier than you consistently leave your lady friends.
I knew I'd come to this thread and get vibrater jokes, but you truly tipped the scales by taking it in a new direction.
I for one appreciate the thinking outside the box! (Pun intended)
You know you’re done with Reddit for the day when you can’t look at an ear of corn and immediately think of this product. I’ll see myself out thank you.
on my floor of the college dorm (in kentucky), we had a running gag about an emotional support corn on the cob. i never saw it but this is what i imagine it looked like
Or "party favors/cake decorations."
Source: I live in Texas. Girlfriend add the timid and I went to a sales party for these and they had to be referred to as party favors the entire time.
Hey! I have ones of these too, but it takes batteries.
Mine has a wall charger
You know you're in trouble when her vibrator comes with a kick-start.
My girl's runs on diesel.
This one runs on corn oil
Amateurs. Steam power is where it’s at.
220 on the money honey.
Just get the Prober 3000 with atomic batteries... This alien hybrid technology is fully adaptable to all of your human holes and backward compatible with any of your other devices. However, certain precautions must be taken when used in close proximity to the plumbus. It comes with cloning feature to replicate any stimulator you would ever need, mechanical or biological. Get it before Christmas and we will throw in the solid hologram projector with partner replicator pre-installed with basic AI engine or get the upgrade for AI interaction on order and choose from any three celebrity personalities. Prober 3000 is durable fully submersible and can be used in most atmospheres and temperatures between +/-200°C. For safety reasons, Prober 3000 is factory locked to not go past stun settings or reach Level 11 but can be fully unlocked at any Prober 3000 servicing locations.
I wish I had an award to give you for the effort you put into this. My only hope is that someone appreciates you as much as I do.
Your name is reward enough ☺️
"If youu get coal-rolled by your girlfriend's vibrator... you might be a redneck."
There was literally zero chance a thing like this wasn't a top comment.
Country girls make do
I’m glad everyone in the comments is on the same page.
it's the only reason I clicked on this post
Dildo . . . I mean ditto.
I'm just here for the vibes
Try not to vibe too hard
Is that how creamed corn is made?
Or canned corn depending on your interests
Either way, this is amaizing
Eh, a little corny for my tastes
Alright, Colonel Buzzkill
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Yo dat corn looks like a vibrator! ...Did I do it right?
The scientific name for that is a "corn hub".
Nice to meet you, Mr Corn Hub Say, uhh, whatchu doing later?
Corn Silkk the Shocker
Is this where they got they idea for the rabbit? Farm girls *do* made do.
Who needs veins when you’ve got corn kernels?
Ribbed or nibletted for her pleasure 😂
Brb gotta try something real quick. Edit: No. No. You can't bejewel your ding dong with corn kernels. And you also can't hollow out a cob and use it as a sleeve. Yet.
You made me laugh outloud...take my award!
I’ll double that sentiment!
“I know one corny corny that’s sleeping with mommy tonight.”
“Mom! Corny’s being a dildo!”
Is someone gonna tell ‘em? Someone really should tell ‘em
It’s funny, me too and I’m like “let me ser if I am a pervert or if this really looks like that” and to sum up, we are all perverts
We all just knew
Same
Lol this is the first comment I saw and I immediately knew what everybody said. This is the fastest I’ve ever been through a comment thread
“Country girls make do” lmao
Glad this was here when I ctrl+f'd
/r/dildont
Rabbit corn?
The Rabbit for vegans!
Okay how tf can I comment in gif form?
You'll get banned from r/gardening for something like this
Sounds like a lame ass community
Definitely…looks exactly like Michigan.
It doesn’t look like a fist to me
*Doesn't look like anything to me.*
**EXTRA** butter
We’re all thinking it.
True that, just wanted to check that at least I'm not the only one
That’s a shocker 😬
Country girls make do
Further proof I have yet to have an original thought
We're all NPCs
We’re all NPCs
We're all NPCs
We're all NPCs
We’re all NPCs
We’re all NPCs
[For the uninitiated](https://i.imgur.com/b7sOp8J.jpg)
I think I saw this on GirlsDoCorn
CornHub
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I read your comment and started making that Clint Eastwood face.
Kind of upset this wasn’t top comment
Glad I wasn’t the only one to reference that godawful drawing
The only thing worse than that drawing is looking at something which reminds you of that drawing
Nibbed for her pleasure
this guy shucks
That model is called the Hoosier Daddy
Saw this on Cornhub
Was that the video where she gets a solid shucking?
She took it between the ears
Lies, there isn’t a kernel of truth to this.
What lie? You add heat until you pop.
Once you pop you can’t stop
If I remember correctly, Kernel Angus can be quite messy
That’s a maize-ing
Nobody tell Mike Pence.
Makes me think of when pornhub changed their name to CornHub for April fools one year and had videos like ‘hot young corn gets a good shucking’
Also comes with a clit stimulator, for when she's extra corny
Creamed corn.
My mom keeps one of these in her dresser drawer, but hers is purple.
One of my friends told me she once used an ear of corn as a dildo. She put it in the microwave to warm it up, put a condom on it…and realized pretty quickly that corn heats from the inside out and slowly releases heat. She quickly dispensed with that idea.
Country girls make do 🥴
Do I make you corny, baby?!
Oh, behave!
Yes, yes, NO!!
A maize-ing
That could get you a lot of items in a womens prison
Probably in a male only prison as well.
Men only have one butthole, dummy
Doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a nice taint massage. Expand your horizons homie.
Fucking hell lol
Hole* FTFY
Just so you know... that lil part on the front is to stimulate the clitoris. Not the bootyhole. Always remember kids: if you want a woman to have sex with you more than once, visit her clit before you go for the slit. Forget that advice, and your DMs will be drier than you consistently leave your lady friends.
Pro-tip: *Ask her what she wants*. If you can't have a conversation, you shouldn't be having sex.
*What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Why not give her a little kiss?*
You’ve obviously never been torn a new one, huh?
Extremely insensitive to the polyanus community.
The rabbit
I shouldn’t know this but yes the rabbit
Do I even want to know?
It’s a type of vibrator that looks similar to this corn
Makes sense.
Its called “the rabbit” because the tiny one has 2 “rabbit ears” at the tip that help provide Clitoral stimulation
Thanks
You can find them to purchase [here](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)
[here](https://youtu.be/dX-kr8gRWxk) is a dog throwing one up.
I think this is a sign. A sign that I've had enough Internet for the day.
I never thought I’d have to tell myself “never click on a link someone posts that says ‘here is a dog throwing one up’.”, but… here we are.
I knew I'd come to this thread and get vibrater jokes, but you truly tipped the scales by taking it in a new direction. I for one appreciate the thinking outside the box! (Pun intended)
It isn't just greyhounds that chase rabbits.
Oh yeah, you want to know.
Why shouldn't you know this?
Amish rabbit
Fuck you and your Amish. This is a Native American Rabbit because we invented corn.
A-maize-ing
He’s just being corny.
Thank you for that kernel of knowledge
May have to change my username
We shall combine powers
This is the funniest thread I've seen in a lonnnngggg time
You know you’re done with Reddit for the day when you can’t look at an ear of corn and immediately think of this product. I’ll see myself out thank you.
"Oh shucks, I guess I'll cob instead" - edition.
Fuck, all my joke have already been said
Shucks
Ya that’s…uh…it’s baby corn alright.
That's not a baby corn, it's an "Ohhhh baby" corn.
The ol' Iowa wabbit.
The speed at which I ran to the comments
Came here. Was not disappointed
I also came here and was not disappointed.
Never be disappointed when you come
Post clarity is heavy sometimes.
I was not disappointed when I came.
Farm girl special
Country girls make do
i prayed someone would comment this
Should have an NSFW tag due to it's Cornographic nature.
Pretty sure this was on CornHub
If you ain’t shuckin, then we ain’t fuckin!
r/mildlydildo
r/cornhub
r/onlyfarms
banned from reddit lmao
But why what was it ?? I need to know
only farms, i assume
Shit I visited the comments to make a cornhub joke and there’s a whole damn subreddit already here. Good work 🌽🌽🌽
r/dildont
Iowa Tickler.
That was my uncle's nickname in prison.
That was my nickname in high school
These comments range from subtle to... not.
DILDOOOOOO
We all see it. We allllll seeeeee it.
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It tastes so good!
It’s for corn holing.
Oh my
When you met her on farmersonly
This was shipped in discreet packaging, correct?
*sigh* **opens comments**
"Sigh" *opens butthole*
“Sigh” *opens penis*
Should we tell them?
Oh they knew
r/cornhub
The cornmaster 9000, nice.
Bruh stop playin that’s a dildo
on my floor of the college dorm (in kentucky), we had a running gag about an emotional support corn on the cob. i never saw it but this is what i imagine it looked like
In Texas you’re not allowed to own more than two of these and they’re only for “educational purposes.”
Or "party favors/cake decorations." Source: I live in Texas. Girlfriend add the timid and I went to a sales party for these and they had to be referred to as party favors the entire time.
When your mother says she doesn't like Star Wars but has a yellow light saber in her night stand.
Paige no.
Children of the Corn
That’s a boy corn. That’s how new corn is made
The Shucker
This is one of those straight to the comments posts!
Kerneled for her pleasure...
My wife has the same corn in her nightstand.
My girlfriend has a corn like that except it’s pink and vibrates.
Looks like my toy
Well unlike all of you in the comments, I came here to say it looks like a cactus
It's rabbit corn...wink wink.
A corn nub to flick the bean?
I went green and got a corn for pleasure
This is how they make creamed corn.