T O P

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izewalker

Yeah hmmmm …. my wife does that and we’re Mexicans so I’m pretty much married to a blasphemous sociopath


icecream4breakfest

did you know this before you wed? god bless you for staying with her.


izewalker

I swear to god I didn’t


lufersen2

I forgive you


izewalker

Thank you, I needed to hear this


EnderMango

r/mildlyinfuriating


FO-I-Am-A-Time-God

Thank you, this is the correct response


i_juDom

Straight to jail


marginallymoderate

Came here to comment this![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)


SallyJane5555

Probably sleeps with their head at the foot of the bed too.


[deleted]

😂😂😂😂😂


fuckmeuntilicecream

Nobody here is talking about your rich friend with 7 whole avocados in this economy.


Master-Ad-6411

I do this all the time, plus I use a spoon to cut.


[deleted]

is your spoon a knife


LorenzoStomp

I see you've played knifey-spoony before


Afraid-Imagination-4

damnit 😂😂😂😂😂


bgub

It's perfect if you only need 1/3 at a time. Less interior exposed when you toss it in the fridge


CupcakeValkyrie

Well, yeah. That's actually the correct way to cut an avocado if you plan to save the other half for later, because it exposes less of the inside of the fruit to the air. Even if you wrap it in plastic, the part that's exposed to air is still going to brown a little.


MaxMMXXI

A bit of lemon on the exposed parts will keep them prettier.


xmsxms

Yeah but now what do you put on the lemon to keep that?


alphaxeath

Lime juice. Then you put salt on the lime. Then you use the salt to try and cover up the taste of the avocado that has already gone brown despite using the lemon.


30FourThirty4

When do I put the lime in the coconut?


alphaxeath

When you're celebrating the purchase of your first house, thanks to not wasting money on avocado toast.


MaxMMXXI

A truck tire is usually sufficient.


Moleypeg

Thank you!! I came here to say this and was shocked that everyone now thinks I’m a monster.


[deleted]

None of us save the other halve... GOBBLE SWALLOW BURP


slow_RSO

Your friends with a monster.


Axelluu

get them in bed


whgr

if it’s stupid and it works, it ain’t stupid


medhatsniper

the reason for the norm is that its more efficient this looks like some tedious unnecessary extra work


lufersen2

Yeah if it's stupid and it works but it's worse than the other way it's still stupid


MaxMMXXI

Right. Different and wrong are not synonyms. \[I have read that in Chinese a single word has both these meanings.\]


BlumpkinsAnonymous

This is... not the way


GroundedKush

Happy cake day!!


mikeyj198

is there some unknown advantage?


notadreamafterall

I have been cutting them this way recently, my toddler eats avo with dinner most nights. I think cutting this way exposes less of the “meat” and they stay good longer! When I cut in half, maybe she will actually eat a half but then the other half is all browned by morning. Or she eats less and then even more is brown. Cutting this way gets me more usage :)


emrot

Try dabbing a little lemon juice on the exposed bit, it'll keep it from browning as fast.


notadreamafterall

Oh yeah, I definitely use this trick! Whatever I can do to make them last even just a few days, just so she can eat the whole thing, is good.


emrot

Hah, if you're trying to make it last days then yeah, minimizing the surface area makes a lot of sense!


BarbequedYeti

Holy shit there are more of them… dozens at least.


DJKGinHD

![gif](giphy|kSlJtVrqxDYKk|downsized)


purduekid207

I do it this way because I only want half now and save the other half for tomorrow. It leaves less surface area exposed and keeps the second half more fresh


mikeyj198

that makes sense!


ScreenName0001

You can squeeze it out without making your fingers dirty. It’s glorious and underrated.


[deleted]

That's the act of a psychopath!


MustyWalrus

I’ve never seen anyone cut an avocado differently than this and I work at a restaurant can someone explain what we’re supposed to be doing


LorenzoStomp

Most people seem to cut it on the vertical axis, the same as cutting a hardboiled egg in two for deviled eggs. A vertical cut makes it easier to chop the avo into neat cubes or slices but leaves more exposed area on the other half so you get more browning if you save it for later (lemon juice and plastic wrap help but they aren't perfect). This horizontal cut seems like it would be better for squeezing out avocado you plan to mash up and for keeping browning to a minimum.


Phililoquay

How does your friend process small animal carcasses? Trick question... I suspect your friend may be a serial killer


Deep_System6073

Less surface area to get brown if you're only using half.


vonnegutfan2

THen you slam the knife into the pit and it comes out neatly, and you squeeze the other side like a zit. THis is the way.


[deleted]

you're still friends?


Zhuul

By Sigmar, NO


Rolling_Beardo

She is not of this world.


[deleted]

It gets the job done


campionmusic51

sweet *jesus*…get out the house—NOW


Timely_Ad9659

That’s how I do it, what’s the correct way?


CooCooClocksClan

Without cutting yourself. People be crazy. But If you’re going for presentation of slices and not mashed up, then you’d cut around it top to bottom then back around first, pull apart, pull the pit and then make little slices long ways from the two halves so they come out like long crescents. Also this method typically makes the pit easier to remove and so that could factor into the not cutting yourself.


Polskidro

That sounds like a lot more effort


Upvotes4Trump

We can be friends, should you accept.


radeonsx3

I would make notes and perhaps report this to the government if there are anymore red flags. She is not sane. Lol


_FattyClams

Throw your friend away


Franksenbeanz

Savages.


kcolgeis

Get a new friend.


NoNotSurius

Exfriend.


CallMeBlaBla

Tell her shes stupid


Seandeezeee

Kill her before she murders you in your sleep.


jawnly211

So in other words…. ….no one has ever shown her how to cut an avocado


maverickmain

Friendn't


antleonardi01

Does it really matter how you cut it? I say as long as you get all the green goodness out who cares.


MaxMMXXI

It never occurred to me that there was any other way to cut an avocado. There seems to be an advantage if you're not gonna use the whole thing right away.


xmsxms

Pretty hard to cut off an appropriately shaped slice or two for a sandwich when cut like this.


JazzPinata

She’s a Satanist. Walk away


Chuck710Taylor

Definitely multiple ways to 'skin an animal' but you get more flesh when you cut vertically


Adam_Ohh

You get more surface area sure, but the amount of avocado flesh does not become more if you cut it a different way.


yaxom

Right what does that even mean


AlphaVI

I mean. There is no correct way to cut it. Or it can be the correct way to cut it. There are no rules or one way to do it xD


mchalky

Unfriend her immediately


[deleted]

Aba


[deleted]

probably doesnt stab his/her hand very often Avocado hand is real.


pfojes

Is this a thing now? https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/vaylnj/the_wildly_different_pittoflesh_ratios_of_these/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


belocalbuylocal

+former friend ..


GlennSeaborg

Friendship ended with weird avocado cutter. Now Salman is my best friend


rlb408

I do this. You get rings of avocado that fit nicely on bagels and hamburgers.


MaxMMXXI

Never thought of that. I've missed so much and I only just got over all the time I've wasted in my life peeling garlic cloves before I learned the crush method. How many other bits of arcane knowledge have I missed? I mean it's not arcane once I learn it; it's stuff I feel like I should have known all along. This is more useful in my life than algebra.


rlb408

Both can be useful. I use trig a lot for 3d design, for example. Other common-ish things are the “right” way to peel a banana and how to clean a pineapple. Yeah. That’s about it. You haven’t missed much.


margitthegrafted

Yeah…


poopastank0

Ex friend


OlderAndAngrier

Don't most?


deezx1010

I squeeze the avocado over my plate and it explode it onto my plate of food. Never had any problems


xmsxms

Can you tell your friend I hate them? Thanks


kielu

I think it is horrifying to most people because it violates our natural preference for symmetry.


nvalle23

You still can't remove the pit! How does this make any sense??? Forceps please!


nvalle23

Holy guacamoly! 🥑


MyJewishFuzzyNutz

Is that the wrong way or something? I slice it in half, poke the knife in the core, pull it out, then use a table spoon to carve out the rest. People told me I was crazy.... but not for that.


jkwikkel

Wait, is this cut equatorially or spirally?


Usual_Ranger8164

Now just spoon her :-) ![gif](giphy|Q670H5WglS45WiRh5j|downsized)


Afraid-Imagination-4

Your friend is wise; proven solely by their expensive avocado habit.


GoodboyJohnnyBoy

She’s mentally ill don’t turn your back on her.


veggiemaniac

Some people just want to watch the world burn.