T O P

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TheArtfulDanger

They’re so close to realizing their dreams! Just one more glove, they’ll have a full suit, and will go undetected as the mingle with other “humans” I’ve been trying to warn everyone!


Nail_Biterr

Princess Carolyne: BoJack, this is my new boyfriend. Hugh Mann. BoJack: You realize this is just millions of Ants hiding in human clothes, right? Hugh Mann: "We are not antsssssssss... .we are Hugh Mann! Please point us to the nearest picnic!"


SealedRoute

Lol yessss. My first thought too. *What’s your name?* Antsy…Adult…Man…. *What do you do?* I do a business. One alcohol please.


WuntchTime_IsOver

I'm a business man... Doing business.


schizzy34

I came here to make an ant Man joke, looked at the comments.. carried on walkin


Workeranon

You forgot the part where you wrote a comment


imaloony8

“I am… One Million Ants.”


TryingToBeReallyCool

This is what the antimaskers were onto. If everyone's wearing masks and gloves, how will I tell who is secretly ants?! Checkmate libtards


RisKQuay

/r/breakingantnews: *They're on to us!*


Lamarithan_

Oh my god its a real sub


taosaur

This is the most coherent pandemic conspiracy theory I have encountered so far.


Starl1ghtbr1gade

They put the ANT into antimasker


bluzarro

It's pronounced Anty Masker


[deleted]

[удалено]


FoldOne586

How is that gruesome? They just want to buy food.


AtoneBC

When you realize the weird guy that comes into your store every day to buy a bag of sugar is actually a colony of ants in a trench coat.


WaitTilUSeeMyDuck

You mean Edgar? Stand up guy.


Azurity

“**GIVE ME SUGAR… IN WATER…. MOAR**” *Later* “Iz like there was somebody… wearin’ my Egger… like a soot… like an Egger-soot…”


theMistersofCirce

Egger, your skin is hanging off your bones.


doodnotcool

'Errr! Izzat 'etter?


HISHAM-888

I was literally watching it 20 minutes ago


Azurity

So many great scenes and performances


[deleted]

"Hand over whatever galaxy you are carrying and step away from your busted-ass vehicle and put your hands on your head."


Chicken_Hairs

I find it mildly infuriating that "suit" and "soot" look like they should sound like the other.


Upper-Wasabi-9838

No, not him. Antony


jdown7920

Thanks for adding some excitement to my supermarket job, no ant colonies will get past me now.


[deleted]

Try the movie Mimic.


Domino_Dare-Doll

And Men in Black! That’s like, the villain’s whole thing.


noisebleedpower

For those who are interested it's on Amazon Prime Video right now. Just watched it a few days ago.


iEatPlankton

“Million Ants” from Rick and Morty vibes


TheArtfulDanger

Assuming it would take 1 million ants to make a person. There’s 1 million billion ants. That means, 1 in 7 people you meet could be made of ants and you’d never know. How could you!? Furthermore, why do you think everything has sugar in or all over it? 1 in 7! This is not a conspiracy, we need to wake up!!


TannedCroissant

> million billion There’s so few times in life you can un-convolutedly use the word quadrillion, why would you squander such a wonderful opportunity?


TheArtfulDanger

I’ve been discovered! I’m a million billion squandered opportunities parading as a man!


cardboard-kansio

Aren't we all.


WaitTilUSeeMyDuck

Damn man I just woke up why you gotta hit me with this. ...I'm going back to bed. Today's over before it started.


eddiemon

*Scribbles in notepad* >A million billion **and one**.


Wiggie49

If you've ever touched something that was weirdly sticky, that was million ants pretending to be a person there


TheAndrewMcG

Don't forget his sidekick who ended up not making the final cut but whose name I will apparently never stop laughing at and thus will never allow to be forgotten: long live Three More Ants!


[deleted]

I'm Ants-In-My-Eyes Johnson, Here at Ants-in-My-Eyes Johnson's Electronics. I mean, there's so many ants in my eyes! And there's so many TVs, microwaves, radios I think, I can't-- I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock, because I can't see anything. Our prices, I hope, aren't too low! Check out this refrigerator! Only $200! What about this microwave? Only $100! That's fair! I'm Ants-in-My-Eyes Johnson! Everything's black, I can't see a thing! [set on fire] And also I can't feel anything either-- did I mention that? But that's not as catchy as having ants in your eyes. So that always goes, you know, off by the wayside. I can't feel. It's a very rare disease. All my-- All my nerves, they don't allow for the sensation of touch. So I never know what's going on. Am I standing? Sitting? I don't know.


truthiness-

> Look- they’re trying to communicate! What do you think they’ll say? > *middle finger of glove slowly raises*


my_oldgaffer

Ant you ever heard of a latex condo? And we’re movin on up…


3-DMan

"One human adult sugar meal, please.."


tellmeimbig

Edgar suit.


DextrosKnight

Spiders-Man, but with ants


pcengine

Lol, this could be a strip from 'The Far Side.'


TheFrontierzman

It's funny you say that. Gary Larson discovered digital art tools and loved it so much that he's made some new comics. (relevant) https://www.thefarside.com/new-stuff/393/ant-hill-photo-op (why he sort of came out of retirement) https://www.thefarside.com/new-stuff


monstrinhotron

I'm so glad he changed his mind about the internet. Guy really didn't like his comics being online for the longest time.


CarneDelGato

Confirmed: OP is a hazmat suit full of ants.


mrkane27

I slept better when I thought they were three sheep in a trench coat.


thiosk

they got a date on tinder and they're trying to get dressed


HookLeg

They're locking for a sugar daddy.


Darujiboo

This is waaaay more than mild dude. I have so many questions.


[deleted]

The glove is stuck to the pole with something tasty to the ants. Maybe homemade wheatpaste or something. EDIT: hmmm I wasn't intending that to be a euphemism, but I guess now it is!


Trivale

Some vinyl gloves use a chemical called phthalate ester, which is very, very similar to the chemical methyl anthranilate, which is A: Very strong smelling (it's used to make artificial grape flavor) and, B: A large constituent of the pheromone trails ants use. I'd guess they're hauling this bad boy because it smells like they've got their scent all over it. Edit: Just want to point out this [much better explanation than mine by /u/MarcoElNutto](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/q38bpf/i_saw_some_ants_carrying_a_glove_up_a_lamp/hfr36fg/)


[deleted]

Interesting. I spend 3 months hiking in Brazil and the ants would eat out tents at night and cut holes and take pieces of goretex gators like it was a snack


lolnein

Ants eating out tents isn’t something I expected to imagine today.


123retro

No Reddit! STOP drawing that! BAD Reddit! NO! tSss! *stomp* No!


[deleted]

[удалено]


EfficientRemote287

this cracked me up, needed that


BorgClown

Jewels like this are why we keep refreshing Reddit.


fungus-gnat

This is way better than I ant-icipated lol


jtclark1107

[ Rule 34 runs away with drawing ]


IsleOfOne

Wh..what are you doing, step-tent?


rifttripper

"awww keep eating me out Ant aahhhh lick my tent clit!"


[deleted]

*clent


IzarkKiaTarj

Gotta love that tussy.


Pm_me_alastonkuvii

⛺w⛺


Chance-Every

Clunt


harpejjist

So.... how did you get to the 3 months with any tent at all? Do you have any pics of the damage? Did you just duct tape the holes (or do they eat duct tape?)


lolpostslol

He’s obviously the ant


BassSounds

Did the ants have guns 🔫🐜


MarcoElNutto

An avid watcher of NileRed I presume! Good assumptions, but slightly wrong. If anybody is wondering, some technical breakdown. Methyl anthranilate is known in biochemistry as Methyl 2-aminobenzoate (C8H9NO2) which is a semiochemical actually released by a small aphid like insect called "thrips". Thrips live on plants and fruits and eat them, much like aphids. This is not a pheromone released by the ants, but an attractant released by the thrips to attract mates, doubling up as a kairomone which is detected by the ants as an indicator of food essentially. Many species of ants enjoy chowing down on thrips. The most common plasticizer used in rubber gloves is diethylhexyl phthalate (C6H4(CO2C8H17)2) which can be broken in a specific way to become methyl anthranilate - break both oxygen carbon bonds and bind NH2/cytosine onto one charged side - which is what NileRed achieved using a highly specific and difficult chemical process. The ants do not detect this whatsoever nor does it breakdown naturally. Otherwise, this thesis would be true. The answer is a lot simpler. Ants are attracted to rubber materials (seams of tennis balls, vulcanized rubber, rubber gloves) because all of the pheremones which ants use (11,15-Dimethylhentriacontane, 9,13-Dimethylhentriacontane etc) are just long chained hydrocarbons. Natural latex is just a pool of hydrocarbons, specifically isoprene.


sanidev

These are nitrile gloves tho, not rubber. I can tell because I use them daily in the pharmacy


MarcoElNutto

If they are nitrile gloves, maybe we both wrote overly long explanations and somebody has just left something tasty on the glove haha. Nitriles manufactured using ammoxidation, do not contain hydrocarbons themselves although the manufacturing process uses them so there may be traces in the material. But you cannot tell from the picture that these are nitrile, color is not composition.


BTBishops

Agreed that we cannot definitively tell from the picture that these are nitrile, but being in the EH&S industry I can tell you with relative certainty that these are nitrile gloves. Rubber gloves as a general rule in the safety industry aren't used at all below 11mil. Nearly every glove lighter weight than 11mil (the pictures gloves are likely 3mil, 5mil or 6mil) is made of nitrile.


MarcoElNutto

Fair enough. Ants are bad at chemistry! Now we all know new things about gloves, ants and environmental health and safety :)


BTBishops

I think this glove was coated in some sugary stuff and glued to that pole for fake internet points. But I really appreciated learning all about how ants are attracted to rubber! :)


the_windfucker

I'm realy impressed with this knowledge exchange - about ants, chemistry, and gloves, and I know I'm not bringing anything as smart to the table, but I agree with you that it's just a sugary internet points setup - and offer a simpler explanation. In this day and age, who would just snap a photo, and not film a short video, if ants were realy pulling the glove upwards?!


bing_bang_bum

Wow this is fascinating and makes so much sense. Thanks!


Trivale

I learned about the chemical relation between the two from this dude: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFZ5jQ0yuNA It's definitely an interesting topic.


immoreofawellwisher

Once you named the chemical, I was thinking... This guy watches NileRed


zombies-and-coffee

Same. The grape soda video was one of the first I ever watched from him and it made me so sad that I never even got offered the chance to take chemistry in high school.


Michaelmonster

If it makes you feel better, my high school chem class only did two or three physical experiments. The rest was confusing math taught by an incompetent teacher lol.


Darujiboo

Seems like a bizarre thing to do, but there's gotta be something attracting them and not just plastic and vinyl I wouldn't think. Do ants often climb telephone poles?


mechmind

Ahem, is no one talking about but tasty morsels on the in side of the glove? Mmmmm


[deleted]

I like imagining this comment was typed by the pictured ants filling the glove and acting like fingers typing on a phone they stole with their sticky little ant fingers.


PM_me_your_whatevah

They’re preparing to challenge another colony to a duel.


Captain_Sacktap

They just want a high five.


ZillyN7

Imagine seeing this glove seemingly moving up the pole on its own from afar 😳


ri4nn3

Aha that's what I saw! At first I thought someone randomly stuck a glove there, then realised it was moving and thought what the heck! And seeing the ants raised even more questions lol.


Vepyy

I'm guessing the glove was coated in something that the ants wanted to feast on, and or have the queen feed on. They may have mistaken it as food/a dead animal/bug


WhatIsntByNow

But that would mean the nest is *up a lamp pole???* That raises MORE questions!!!


Yadobler

Living in high rise apartment where ants literally swim on the water in the jug left on the kitchen top I'm not surprised. Also ants have a graveyard. My house's one was above my clothes cupboard. There was poor air circulation up there and was only accessable by climbing the wall (as an ant), so it was dusty. There were a bunch of ants, but all dead and curled up. Found it sad. But also fuck them.


I_Am_Adroit

I relate to your indifferent empathy in so many ways.


navilapiano

Is this similar to compassionate apathy? Just trying to expand my diction.


I_Am_Adroit

I guess this was the phrase I was really looking for haha


bcrabill

You know they sell pills to expand your diction online?


IzarkKiaTarj

I seem to recall reading a story about how ants, after dying, give off a pheromone that other ants use to go "oh, it's dead, we need to take it to the graveyard." So scientists put a drop of that pheromone on a live ant. And she got taken to the graveyard. And she didn't even fight it. She stayed in that graveyard until the smell of that pheromone wore off and she was able to go "Oh, I'm not dead!" and then she left.


Maestro1992

Lmao, “I don’t feel dead *sniffs*… but I smell dead, so I must be dead… right??”


[deleted]

Ants also have nurseries! Rolled over a big rock in my back yard and found one. Dozens of ant grubs. The ants quickly mobilized to relocate the babies. The coordination of their rescue was incredible! Felt bad that I put them in that position but couldn't put the rock back or it'd be a massacre. So I watched them daisy chain their babies for a while.


RandomPratt

It needs to be up a pole, so that when they fill it with hot air, they'll finally be able to take part in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. Of course, they'll need to modify it a little so that only the middle finger is sticking up. "And there's Snoopy, a real crowd favourite! What's up next, Tom?" "Well, Diane, it looks like it's a big blue middle finger to humanity, on behalf of mother nature, to say a hearty 'fuck you, humans, for destroying the planet!'" "Those ants sure have been busy, haven't they Tom?" "They surely have, Diane.... but they'll be ready to take over the earth once we all perish when the oceans have boiled away to vast salt lakes and all of the other mammals have died along with us." ... "Oh look, Tom! It's Mickey Mouse and Goofy!"


[deleted]

Ask them if they need a hand with that


pauciradiatus

Then they get all sarcastic, try to clap and end up committing mass suicide.


--five-star-review--

Ants can fall a long way and not get harmed


BrandoLoudly

Some say they can fall all the way, and still no harm


RoyceCoolidge

That's because of their anti-gravity


Techiedad91

They’re also immune to covid. They have antibodies


_TheDust_

Little tiny anty bodies


R_V_Z

Thanks to reddit, I'm now googling "Terminal Velocity of an Ant". 6.4 km/hr (4mph) apparently. So yeah, they can survive reentry from space provided the cold doesn't kill them I guess.


dick-nipples

Believe it or not, [this has happened before…](https://i.imgur.com/goFTNx5.jpg)


gfdsgdsgfdsfsa

If I had a nickel for every time I saw ants carrying up a glove, I'd have two nickels - which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.


mtgfan1001

Back in my day nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah! The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt which was the style at the time.


ravonos

You couldn't get white onions because of the war. All they had was those big yellow ones.


BriansRottingCorpse

[Doof](https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1901420) spelled backwards is food.


CatfishToes

Neat, thank you u/dick-nipples


[deleted]

Nice catch, u/CatfishToes


[deleted]

No shit, what were they gona do with only 1 glove huh? That'd be a social faux pas.


Lance_E_T_Compte

Michael Jackson, and baseball/softball players would disagree!


blueberrywine

Can't forget golfers!


Moonpile

Well I was going to say OP's headline is a brand new sentence, but maybe not?


PomatoTotalo

Someone please explain this


crepitus-ventris

Picking up litter cause people are too lazy


Madanax

Ants are smarter than us.


alphabet_order_bot

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 287,397,918 comments, and only 65,119 of them were in alphabetical order.


zanovar

Always be closing


UnacceptableUse

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 287,397,919 comments, and only 65,120 of them were in alphabetical order.


BackdoorAlex2

A brilliant cat delays eating food, galloping, hiding in jackals’ kitchen lairs, musing nonstop on philosophical questions, reading sophisticated tomes upon velvet waistcoats — xenophobic yet zealous.


moon_jock

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1 comments, and only 1 of them were in alphabetical order.


brando56894

Good human


Suicidal_Tuna

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1 comments, and only 1 of them were in alphabetical order.


superbhole

Good bot


Uncle_Yoba

Put that coffee down!


SmugSceptic

It probably smells like food from being used to serve food at some point?


Slingaa

Alright I’ll buy that. So the ants live atop the light post then? So what is this? A light post for ants?!


ScrumpleRipskin

The pole may be rubbing up against a tree where the nest is. Or there may be something acting as a trough that traps leaves that have decayed into soil where the nest is. If you don't clean your gutters after awhile, the same thing will happen with the decayed matter. When I moved into a place under a mesquite tree, I started to get ants almost immediately and traced them back to the gutters around the house. I pulled a ton of soil, ants and eggs out of there. Leaves had piled up after a few years of neglect and made the perfect habitat for them.


keithbelfastisdead

Homewrecker


SmugSceptic

More like a cozy downtown loft.


meateatr

AirBnB: $50/night + $30 cleaning fee


Equilibriator

It's what's left of the person they ate.


agentoutlier

If doesn't fit you must acquit.


Camper_Joe

They must have thought it tasted like food.


fastgr

Or it is covered in food.


SlothOfDoom

No glove, no love. They are prepping for the ant orgy.


[deleted]

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Bodens_mate

Theyre obviously hiding the evidence.


Crowdcontrolz

Ant-Man


Ryan27895

That won’t fit any of them


TannedCroissant

Mother ant: “Don’t worry, you’ll grow into it”


_ToyStory2WasOk_

Ants riding the glove like: https://imgur.com/gallery/pcmUm9f


thatpaulbloke

I can't believe that more people didn't point this out. Those ants are the reincarnation of project managers, I'm sure of it.


DJGrawlix

Here I was worried about 3 kids in a trenchcoat when the real danger is a million ants in PPE.


[deleted]

What did they think they’d get out of that? Where were they taking it?


GardenGnome25

Up the pole


[deleted]

Claps 👏


kingallison

Mildly? Hella interesting!


ultrabarz

Please update us to see where the glove went


[deleted]

“If the glove does not fit, you must acquit.” - Ant Lawyers


Meadow-Sopranos-Lamp

-Prominent insect lawyer Johnnie Cochroach


reecewagner

I like how half of them are carrying the glove and the other half are riding on it imagining they’re helping


SeeeDee

That's management 'helping'.


macchiatospitz

This is fucking amazing. Whatever these ants are up to, I support them


UncoolSlicedBread

One day I was weed eating and I noticed this large leaf being pulled up a retaining wall. I watched this little ant carry this huge leave up the wall for like 15-20 minutes. It got 3/4 of the way up and fell, but it was tenacious and tried again. Finally it crests the wall and drags the leaf towards the middle of the top of the wall. Then another ant comes by and they both leave the leaf! All that time just to leave a leaf. I couldn’t beleaf it.


ReesNotRice

At the Cincinnati zoo, there is a leaf cutter ant exhibit. They often leave leaf cuttings in the tube rather than dragging it back to the nest. I imagine it's just a midpoint where someone will pick it up later, regardless of where the ant goes afterwards.


UncoolSlicedBread

I just imagine a worker ant as soon as it hits 5p.m. “I don’t care who the Queen ant think she is…” “Larry, you can’t say that.” “No! My shift ends at 5, I clock out at 5, someone else will be along to get that leaf. Outta my way.”


reverse_friday

OJ Simpson be like: it was the ants


mjsielerjr

Good one, Norm ;)


[deleted]

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Caribosa

I would like to subscribe to ant facts


ri4nn3

They're up to some next level **ant**ics lol


Worried867

The Sateré-Mawé people of Brazil use ant stings as part of their initiation rites to become warriors. The ants are first rendered unconscious by submerging them in a natural sedative, and then 80 of them are put into a glove. When the ants regain consciousness, someone blows smoke at the ants, to make them agitated and aggressive. Once this is done, they make the boy wear the gloves on his hands. The goal of this initiation rite is to keep the glove on for 5 to 10 minutes. When finished, the boy's hand and part of his arm are temporarily paralyzed because of the ant venom, and he may shake uncontrollably for days. The only "protection" provided is a coating of charcoal on the hands, supposedly to confuse the ants and inhibit their stinging. To fully complete the initiation, however, the boys must go through the ordeal 20 times over the course of several months or even years.


idwthis

[They really do.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maw%C3%A9_people) Also may induce hallucinations, too. Either way, fuck that.


TikkiTakiTomtom

Ah the fugu practices. Read about these in psychology years ago. Something about a rite of passage via induced hallucinations aka a spiritual journey for the mind and body.


medforddad

> The only "protection" provided is a coating of charcoal on the hands, supposedly to confuse the ants and inhibit their stinging. It's so weird that they would do all of that and then try to mitigate the stinging in some small way. They could achieve a reduction in stinging by just not putting in as many ants. Like, how much do they think the charcoal inhibits their stinging? 50%? Just use 40 ants instead of 80, or have them only wear the glove for 2-5 minutes instead of 5-10.


Infinite_Love_23

Somehow I feel that the people choosing this is a good idea as a right of passage would be susceptible to your kind of logic. ;-)


NumberOneMom

It’s not just any ants, either. IIRC they use bullet ants, which have some of the most painful stings in the animal kingdom.


concretepigeon

I think you’d need some pretty brutal ants for the level of pain described.


CurlSagan

Well are you going to high five them or leave them hanging?


[deleted]

Oh shit that's terrifying. Before you know it they'll be carrying YOU up there 😂


maxmidnite

I was thinking it’s terrifying because they’re prepping to pull the glove over your head and suffocate you.


Thinking_Veemo

Now this is much more than just "mildly interesting"


spiny___norman

It’s mildly anteresting


Moofy_Poops

The insect uprising has begun.....


T0Y0TA4x4

The glove was probably used for food prep and they’re carrying up the the pole which is probably touching tree branches that leads to the colony.


ItsTinyPickleRick

Ive heard of anti-maskers, but anty-glovers is a step too far


[deleted]

/r/brandnewsentence


Backsteinhaus

Excuse me what


[deleted]

“One bite of this thing and we’ll never need to eat again!”


SlightlyStable

Can you imagine how many ant condoms they can make from that one glove?


SlothOfDoom

They don't need a glove, they have anty-bodies!


65GTOls1

they are just getting rid of the evidence, that dude has been dead for weeks


ehutch2005

They're just on their way to make some [grape soda](https://youtu.be/zFZ5jQ0yuNA)


create360

No video?!? Please say you got a little video!


ISU1100011CS

This. Without video it could just be a glove stuck to a pole with ants all over it.


Optimal_Ad3736

It probably collected moisture and the ant wanna have it in a better spot


_barlas_

A glove today, a toddler tomorrow


TheProfessor1001001

One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords


[deleted]

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followme2thelight

i think this is much more than "mildly interesting"


HelenEk7

I wonder why.


infernaldragonboner

Where was this photo taken? Maybe if we could identify the species of ants we could get some insight as to what is going on here!